Hunting The Traitor
by FairyTale
Summary: Would Harry's life have been better if he hadn't lived with the Dursleys? Seven year old Harry Potter's world collapses within the blink of an eye, and now it's up to Remus to hunt down the traitor responsible for it.
1. About The Ones Who Are Left Behind

Disclaimer: I don't own any recognizable setting or character in this story. All Harry Potter™ characters belong to JKR Rowling and various publishers which all aren't me.

I'm just borrowing them for a short amount of time and promise to return them unharmed. Well, as unharmed as possible.

Summed up: All the good stuff is hers, the rest is mine!

My original characters (and there are plenty of them) belong to me, so please be so kind and ask in case you want to borrow them.

The story was written for enjoyment only, no money is being made with it. So please don't sue – there's nothing I have which you could probably want. I'm just a poor student with way too much imagination.

Rating: PG-13, to be on the safe side. Bit of language, some pieces of non-drastic violence.

Summary: **AU**. Alternative Universe. Just thought I'd let you know.

There are plenty of AU scenarios out here, but I never stumbled across this particular set up.

What if Harry had not gone and lived with the Dursleys? At least not for eleven years. What if a certain werewolf had fought the fight of his life with the Ministry of Magic to gain custody for him? What if he had finally won this fight?

Love, peace, happiness for everybody involved?

I don't think so.

Throw in the return of the Dark Lord, Death Eaters and an escaped convict, and you get a story in which nothing is what it seems. A story which lets the custody struggle with the Ministry of Magic appear like a picnic for Remus…

Note: Different from what I told you in my preview, this story takes place when Harry is seven years old, not during his third year.

I promise not to come up with nonsense like strange new powers or sudden appearances of long-lost relatives.

But there are plenty of OC, I hope they don't confuse you.

Warning: We all read 'Prisoner of Azkaban'. I did, too. More often than was healthy, I have to admit. But be warned: Nothing is what it seems, and I'm not planning on re-writing PoA here. So – I wouldn't be too convinced that everything turns out as it did in canon. Some characters might be completely different from the way we all know them. So don't be too sure that you already know how the story ends – I haven't even decided that yet!

Have fun and let me know what you think, this is my first AU after all. It won't be as long as The Final Battle, maybe the size of The Last Marauder.

"…" marks direct speech

'…' marks thoughts of a character

underlined means the word is emphasized

_italics _means flashbacks. There are plenty of them, but I took care to note when they take place.

Reviews and constructive criticism are always appreciated, I can't tell you often enough.

This chapter actually contains a large part of the preview, and all of the chapter is a flashback to 1981. The future chapters won't be like that, but there will be more flashbacks in the course of the story to explain what happened in between chapter 1 and 2. Also, there will be flashbacks to the Marauder time and…oh my, just read and you'll find out.

I told you in the preview that I didn't know whether to make this slash or not, and I've finally decided not to. My old 'I can't write any romance for the life of me' problem, combined with the fact that no slash is far better for this plot.

Don't mind the little lyric interludes, I was just playing around a little. Maybe it'll happen again, maybe not.

Okay, that should be enough for this, so – start reading, please.

Enjoy!

**About The Ones Who Are Left Behind**

_Remus woke up with what was probably the worst headache of his entire life. He instantly knew that the transformation last night had been one of the worst for a long time. Though he could not remember much, he still felt that the wolf was feeling restless, it was disturbed by something, but by what Remus could not tell._

_He carefully opened his eyes and was surprised to find himself in his bedroom. He was sure that he had not managed to get up here alone, so somebody must have brought him here. His first guess was that it had been Sirius, but usually Sirius stayed by his side until he had woken up. And hadn't Sirius told him only yesterday morning that he would not be able to come over?_

_Remus carefully sat up and tried to find out what had woken him up, but as he contemplated about this he realized that somebody had put on his pyjama pants and wrapped up his chest and forearms in bandages. The wolf must have raged last night if his injuries were that bad. He could still feel the wolf's anger and restlessness._

_Raised voices from downstairs made him look up. That must have woken him a couple of minutes ago. Curious as to what was going on in his own house, Remus rose from the bed, pulled on a wide robe and opened the door._

_Three voices were arguing downstairs, two of them Remus didn't know. When he stepped down the stairs, he saw that his father was arguing with two other wizards, Ministry officials by the look of their robes, and was trying to make them leave again._

_"I told you already that he is in no condition to talk to you right now. Leave and come back tomorrow, then he should be able to speak to you."_

_The taller of the two Ministry wizards made another step into the hall, despite Richard Lupin's efforts to close the door in his face._

_"You don't understand, Mr. Lupin. We have urgent business with your son, this can't wait until tomorrow."_

_Richard let out an exasperated sigh._

_"He is sleeping and I won't wake him up just because you think your business can't be delayed by a day. Leave now!"_

_The smaller of the two others suddenly interrupted._

_"I don't think there's the need to wake him up anymore."_

_Remus found himself suddenly watched by three pairs of eyes as the other men realized his presence in the room. Richard immediately walked over to his son's side and held out an arm for him to lean on. He sighed._

_"You shouldn't be up. I told them to leave, but they didn't listen to me. Sorry that we woke you up."_

_Remus shook his head._

_"No, it's alright."  
He turned towards the two Ministry officials._

_"You wanted to speak to me?"_

_The taller man nodded._

_"Remus J. Lupin? Yes, we need to speak to you on an urgent matter."_

_"Why don't we go over into the living room then."_

_Remus allowed his father to support him on the way into the living room, where he sat down on the sofa with exhausted sigh. Richard handed him a blanket which he took gratefully. It was already quite cold for beginning of November. Remus looked at the two Ministry wizards expectantly, his face not betraying the inner turmoil that had started as soon as he had seen them. Something was not right here, something had happened._

_"Well, and you would be?"_

_The taller of the two wizards looked up._

_"I am Auror Stevens, and this is Auror McMillan. Ministry Department of Capital Crime."_

_Remus frowned his brow. Why on Earth would the Ministry send two Aurors who investigated crimes like murder into his house? What had happened last night?_

_Stevens realized Remus' distress and continued to talk._

_"We need to speak to you concerning the events of last night."_

_He pulled out a file from his briefcase._

_"We first need to confirm the information in our files. You are Remus Jonathan Lupin?"_

_Remus nodded._

_"Yes I am."_

_"Date and place of Birth?"_

_"February 20th, 1960 in Egerton, Kent."_

_"Recent occupation?"_

_"I'm about to finish my doctor's degree in Defence techniques and the specialized literature concerning this topic in January. I'm employed by the London University of Magic, I'm teaching classes in Defence."_

_Stevens nodded and began the questioning._

_"Is it correct that you know Sirius Black?"_

_Remus nodded and swallowed against the lump that formed in his throat. They had come because of Sirius? Where was Sirius anyway? Had something happened to him? He didn't even notice that Richard returned from the kitchen with a tray of tea and forced a large mug of the hot liquid into his hand._

_"What is your relation towards Mr. Black?"_

_"We are friends. We went to school together, Hogwarts, and after graduation we shared a flat until the beginning of this year. Why? Has something happened to him?"_

_Not even reacting to Remus' question, Auror Stevens continued while McMillan wrote down everything Remus said._

_"Do you know where Mr. Black was last night and what he intended to do?"_

_Remus shook his head._

_"No. No, I don't know. What is this all about?"_

_"What is your relation towards Mr. and Mrs. James Potter and Mr. Peter Pettigrew?"_

_Remus shook his head in confusion._

_"The same. We all went to school together, we're close friends. What has happened?"_

_"Do you know if Mr. Black stands in connection to You-Know-Who and the Death Eaters?"_

_"No. I mean, we knew that somebody was passing information to them about James and Lily, but Sirius? No, no he wouldn't do that."_

_"Is Mr. Black a Death Eater?"_

_"What?"  
"Since when has Mr. Black been a Death Eater?"  
"Don't you listen to me? Sirius is no Death Eater, never. Now would you finally care to tell me what this is all about?"_

_Still, Stevens ignored Remus' questions._

_"Do you know anything about Mr. Black's plans for last night or for the near future? Has he planned a journey lately? Talked about leaving the country?"_

_Remus shook his head._

_"No, never. What has happened?"_

_"One last question. Where have you been last night between ten in the evening and seven in the morning?"_

_Remus let out a harsh laugh._

_"I'm fairly sure that directly beneath my name in the Ministry files there's the remark 'werewolf, male' in bold printing. And if you care to check the lunar chart, yesterday night was full moon. I've been in the garden shelter, protected by countless wards and charms, since five o'clock yesterday afternoon, throughout my transformations, and until my father brought me back into the house after moonset this morning. I don't recall the time of that because I was not conscious. Now would you finally tell me what this is all about? Why all those questions about Sirius and my other friends? What has happened?"_

_Remus was close to being frantic now, so shortly after his transformations it normally didn't take much to upset him and the way those two Aurors had been avoiding all his questions so far had not helped to ease his mind in the slightest._

_Stevens leaned back and gestured McMillan to answer Remus' question. The smaller Auror put his quill back into his briefcase and looked up._

_"Last night, Mr. and Mrs. James and Lily Potter were murdered in their house in Godric's Hollow, supposedly by You-Know-Who himself. In the early morning hours, Sirius Black was obviously cornered by Mr. Peter Pettigrew in a street in Muggle London. Witnesses testified that Pettigrew accused Black of having betrayed the Potters to the Dark Lord, then Black blew up the street with a curse, killing Pettigrew and twelve by standing muggles in the process. When our units arrived there minutes later, we found Black still there, standing in the middle of the destruction and laughing about his deed. He is being brought to Azkaban for association with the Dark Lord and thirteen cases of murder as we speak."_

_Remus just stared, trying to process the information. James and Lily were dead. It could not be, could it? He knew that they had performed the Fidelius Charm only a week ago, that they had chosen Sirius as their Secret Keeper. If Voldemort had found them, that meant that Sirius had given their location away. No, Sirius wouldn't do that, would he? But then again, they had known that one amongst their small group of friends had given away information about James and Lily, and hadn't his growing suspicion towards Sirius been the reason why he had moved out of their flat? But Sirius wouldn't betray James, would he? James was like a brother to him, how could he have done that? And Peter…Sirius had killed Peter and twelve innocent muggles. Remus could not imagine it, but it had to be true. Sure, Sirius was able to do perform such a strong curse, he was a very powerful wizard, but Remus had never believed him capable of such a crime. But then, what other explanation was there? Voldemort could only have found James and Lily if Sirius had given them away, and there were witnesses who had seen Sirius kill Peter and thirteen muggles. It had to be true. But why?_

_Remus literally felt his world shatter at the moment he realized what this meant. James, Lily and Peter were dead. Sirius was on his way to Azkaban, and after what he had done he had died for Remus as well. His whole world, all the people he had cared for since they had met at school, were gone. Gone in the blink of an eye. Last night, before he had gone into the garden shelter for his transformation everything had been alright, and now only hours later, his life lay in pieces at his feet. Moony was howling in pain, but Remus knew that as soon as the wolf would realized the implications of it all, it would be furious._

_Completely oblivious to his surroundings, Remus didn't realize his father coming back into the living room, the morning copy of the Daily Prophet in his hands and all colour drained from his face. Seeing the distressed condition of his youngest son, Richard ushered the Aurors out of the room._

_"That's enough, you've asked him what you needed to. Now leave, before I personally throw you out."_

_Stevens and McMillan got up from their chairs and left the room, moments later the sound of the front door closing shot sounded through the suddenly all too silent house. Richard put the paper onto the table and sat down next to his son. Remus was staring unfocusedly ahead, his whole body shaking. The tea in the cup he still had not realized he held spilled all over his hands._

_Richard took the cup from Remus' hands, put it onto the table and then took Remus into his arms._

_He held his son, gently rocking him back and forth while Remus tried to understand what had just happened to him. Suddenly, realization dawned._

_"They're dead!"_

_He managed to choke out before he completely broke down. Richard could not remember when he had last seen Remus cry like that. Normally, self control was Remus' most urgent instinct, he didn't let himself go like that. Richard decided that he would not allow his son any chance to fall into depression, he knew fairly well what possible outcome this could have after the next full moon._

_"Not all of them are dead."_

_Remus looked up from red-rimmed eyes and Richard handed him the paper. Not quite understanding what his father was driving at, Remus took the paper and looked at the front page. The pictures were the first thing to catch his eye and nearly made him throw up. One large picture showed the debris that only hours ago had been the Potters' home at Godric's Hollow with the Dark Mark floating in the sky above. But what made Remus feel sick was the second picture on the page._

_It showed Sirius, the man Remus thought he had known better than anybody else, standing in the middle of a devastated street, debris and other things Remus didn't really want to know what exactly they were all around him, and he was laughing. His face was a mask of madness, nothing resembling the fun loving prankster Remus had known for years and he laughed even as the Ministry wizards took away his wand and apparated him away._

_"Don't look at the pictures. Read."_

_Remus heard his father's voice from far away, but it took him long moments until he managed to take his eyes away from the moving images that proved his friend's betrayal. When he looked at the headline, his jaw dropped._

**The Boy Who Lived defeats He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named**

Last night, the wizarding world was finally freed from the threat that You-Know-Who has posed upon all of us for the past decade. The Dark Lord vanished as he attempted to murder Harry Potter, fifteen months old infant son of James and Lily Potter, both Ministry Aurors. The Potters had been killed only minutes before in an attempt to save their son, but miraculously young Harry did not only manage to survive the Killing Curse, but also to destroy You-Know-Who. The precise circumstances remain unknown for the time being…

_The paper fell from Remus' hand._

_Voldemort had fallen last night? Harry had defeated Voldemort? Harry was alive? Oh god, Harry was alive…_

_Richard Lupin had not left his son alone ever since the two Ministry wizards had broken the news of the deaths and betrayal of Remus' friends to his son._

_Remus had never been the type of person who wore his heart on his sleeve, it had sometimes been difficult enough even for Richard to know what was going on inside of his son's mind. But instead of letting his guard down after the devastating news, Remus had completely shut out his surroundings and ever since then brewed over the catastrophe that had changed his life during one single night._

_Richard didn't know that much about what had been happening between Remus and his friends in the weeks before Halloween, all that Remus had told him was that the Potters had to go into hiding because they were high on the Dark Lord's target list. And he had known that something had happened that had caused a strain in Remus' and Sirius' formerly strong friendship._

_Until the beginning of the year, Remus and Sirius had shared a flat in London. And then one day Remus had moved out and back into his father's house near Highley. Remus had never told Richard what exactly had happened to cause this estrangement, but now he realized that he should have known something was going on. Of course it was easy to find out what it had been, now that he knew the outcome, but even though Remus still had not told him what had happened, he strongly suspected that Remus had started doubting Sirius' loyalty. _

_Richard didn't know nearly as much about the impact of Remus' lycanthropy as he wished he did, but he knew enough to suspect that the death and betrayal that had happened in his circle of friends hit Remus even harder than it would have if he weren't cursed. _

_Remus had lost three of his friends by the hands of another, something which was already bad enough, but not only he had lost them. The wolf had, too._

_Richard didn't know how to handle the situation, not at all._

_The first day, Remus had cried without ends as it had seemed. He had completely broken down, only slept with the help of a rather strong sleeping potion and even then only for a couple of hours._

_But all this had changed completely by the next morning. Remus had refused to leave his room ever since, he hardly talked, didn't eat and didn't sleep. He was mourning for the friends he had lost, but the extend of that grief scared Richard. He refused to leave his son alone out of the fear that Remus might try to end his life as well, and so far there was no sign that Remus' depression might ease anytime soon. _

_Three weeks had passed by now and Remus wasn't doing any better. He had attended James', Lily's and Peter's funerals completely oblivious to his surroundings, then had returned home and withdrawn into his room again._

_Worst of all had been the official Ministry questioning. Without any forewarning, five Ministry wizards had stood on the doorstep three days after Peter's funeral and had taken Remus into custody. Richard had refused to leave his son alone, but they had neither allowed him to accompany his son nor had Remus been given the right to call a lawyer. Werewolf regulations didn't consider it necessary for a lycanthropy to consult a lawyer. For over fifty hours straight Remus had been questioned by the Aurors. Remus hadn't told him much about it, but Richard knew a little about the Ministry's methods. Janus had told him a couple of times how the Aurors treated potential suspects, and as a werewolf who had been a friend of a murderer, a supposedly high-ranking Death Eater, Remus was a suspect. No matter that the Halloween night had been a full moon, no matter that he had not had much contact with Sirius during the weeks previous to the murders._

_No sleep, nothing to eat, bound to the interrogation chair, questioned by a bunch of Aurors without any pause. They surely had forced various truth potions down his throat, not caring the least about how his body reacted to them. The fact that the Ministry didn't really care about how werewolves reacted to what gave the Aurors the perfect excuse to try anything they could think of. Who knew whether Veritaserum really worked on werewolves? Okay, let's try another potion. They must have tried anything to make Remus confess his involvement with the Death Eaters, his association with and partaking in the murder. And all that just because they didn't consider him human. An innocent werewolf? Hardly possible from the Ministry's point of view._

_Worst of all had been that there had been absolutely no possibility for Richard to help his son. He had had to watch the Aurors take away his youngest son and then he had been forced to wait until he was released by the Ministry. _

_Janus hadn't even known what was going on. He had been sent on a mission, what was it, seven weeks ago now? He didn't know that the Potters were dead, that Peter was dead, that Sirius was a traitor and worst of all he didn't know what had happened to his brother. Surely he knew by now that Voldemort had gone, but nevertheless there would be enough work for him to do even without the Dark Lord around. Cleaning up the remainders of the Death Eaters, finally finishing this chapter into history._

_Richard didn't know whether Janus would have been allowed to be present at Remus' interrogation either. Though the Unspeakables were ranking higher in the Ministry's chain of command than the Aurors, in this particular case he had been the brother of a suspect. But maybe he could have pulled some strings so that they would have at least treated him like a human being._

_But then again maybe Janus would have refused to do that anyway._

_More than two days after the Aurors had taken Remus into custody, just as Richard was about to contact Albus Dumbledore once more in search of help, an owl had arrived telling him that he could fetch his son at the Ministry main building. The sight that had greeted him there was one he would never forget._

_Remus had been sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair in a secluded room, still in the same robes he had worn when they had taken him from Highley, his hair tousled and matted, white as a tablecloth with deep shadows under his eyes, his robes stained and ruffled. And though Richard didn't possess his son's heightened senses, he could clearly smell the stench of sweat, fear and vomit on Remus. But worst of all had been Remus' eyes. His unnatural amber eyes that normally seemed to glow whatever mood he was in, were dull and staring unfocusedly ahead. Remus didn't even look up when Richard entered the room, nor did he show any sign of recognition when his father pulled him to his feet and guided him out of the building._

_Not answering to any of his fathers frantic and worried questions, Remus had barely managed to make it out of the building without collapsing before Richard apparated them both home._

_Whatever those Aurors had done to Remus, they had managed to break him completely._

_He had cancelled all his classes at University and had postponed the finishing date for his doctor's degree to an undefined date._

_To Richard, it seemed that he had lost all interest in his life as it had been before that fateful night, and he didn't know how to bring that interest back. Richard was completely helpless, at a loss at what to do. A situation he had never again wanted to be in._

_The sound of the front door being shut made Richard raise his head. Who would come into the house without knocking? He got up from the sofa and made his way to the door, his wand ready in hand. But he quickly put away the wand again when he saw who had arrived moments ago._

_Janus pulled the door close behind him and then hung his coat onto a hook to let the few snowflakes on it dry. Then he turned around._

_"Dad? Remus? Is anybody home?"_

_"In the living room, Janus. And don't shout around like that, or you'll wake up your brother."_

_Janus shook his head in confusion and entered the living room._

_On the first look, nobody could oversee the similarities between father and son. Just like Richard and much unlike his younger brother, Janus was fairly tall and slim with broad shoulders. And though both men weren't expressively muscular, it wasn't advisable to underestimate their physical strength. Especially in Janus' case. Many Death Eaters hadn't lived to regret this mistake. His hair was dark brown and short, and he had the same green-brown eyes like his father. Eyes that stood out in his otherwise stern face and that betrayed the fact that Janus Lupin had seen far more of reality's bad side than would have been the share of a twenty-six year old man._

_Unlike Remus, who looked very much like his mother with his sandy hair and formerly hazel-brown eyes, his lean frame and smaller statue, Janus didn't resemble his mother at all. He was glad of it. Janus Lupin didn't talk about his mother, let alone think about her._

_Letting his eyes wander across the room and his father's state, Janus immediately realized that something was not right. Richard looked tired, as if he hadn't slept in days. He was badly shaved, his hair was tousled and the room didn't look much better. Used tea cups were standing on the couch table next to some older copies of the Daily Prophet. Janus frowned. Normally, his father and Remus were very tidy people, unbearably tidy at times. That was one of the few traits they shared, unfortunately for Janus._

_Picking up some old papers and throwing them on the floor (Janus didn't really have a problem with being untidy on purpose at times), he sat down next to his father and looked at him._

_"What's wrong, Dad? I thought you'd still be celebrating Voldemort's downfall, but instead I find the house in chaos and you looking like hell. And what's this about Remus sleeping? It's not like him to sleep in the middle of the day. Is he sick?"_

_Richard looked up from red-rimmed eyes, his lips trembling._

_"Where have you been?"_

_Janus frowned._

_"What?"_

_"I asked where in Merlin's name you have been!"_

_Richard's voice was low and hoarse at the same time, and it had a menacing quality Janus had never heard before. At least not directed against him._

_"Why, I've been on a mission. Working. You know that."_

_"Where?"_

_Janus sighed. His father clearly wasn't himself, he knew that Janus wasn't allowed to tell any outsider about his work, family or not. _

_"You know that I can't tell you. We've tried to infiltrate a Death Eater lair, that much I can tell you."_

_Richard nodded and broke the eye contact, staring at the cold fireplace._

_"Why didn't you come home?"_

_Janus shook his head. He didn't understand why his father was asking all those questions. Voldemort had fallen, the wizarding world was still celebrating their regained freedom, and here he sat, behaving as if the world had just come to an end._

_"I couldn't. The Dark Lord might have gone, but we needed to imprison as many Death Eaters as we could catch, before they all start denying their involvement. It was important."_

_Richard made a choking sound that sounded like suppressed laughter, though there was no mirth in his eyes._

_"Important. Of course. Work to do. More important than anything else."_

_"Dad, what on earth has happened here?"_

_Again, Richard laughed mirthlessly and looked back at his son._

_"You know how the Dark Lord fell?"_

_Janus nodded._

_"Yeah, everybody knows. He was after the Potter family, both Aurors, and after someone had given away their hiding place to him, he killed the parents and then vanished as his killing curse rebounded from their son. Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived. It's difficult not to know this."_

_"Harry Potter. The name doesn't ring any bells?"_

_Janus shook his head._

_"No, not really. Should it?"_

_Richard leaped from the sofa so suddenly that Janus jumped, his hand automatically reaching for his wand. It was a reflex that had often saved his life before, but normally Janus had enough self-control not to do this at home. Richard now stood in front of him, index finger pointing at Janus accusingly._

_"For sure it should! If you only cared a tenth of how much you care for your work for Remus, you'd know that 'the Potter family' as you called them, were two of his best friends! That Harry Potter is your brother's godson! And you'd know that the 'someone' who betrayed their whereabouts to Voldemort was your brother's best friend. Remember the name Sirius Black? Does that ring any bells? Tall, black hair, came to visit over summer from time to time? The one who sent you the howlers that one summer? He betrayed the Potters to Voldemort, and then he killed another of his best friends on his own, blowing up a dozen muggles in the process. _

_If you had for once listened to Remus when he was telling about his friends, if you only cared a little for your brother's life, then you would know what Voldemort's downfall has cost him. And you have the guts to ask what's been going on here?_

_Where have you been when those Aurors suddenly stood on the doorstep, asking Remus stupid questions about Black's involvement with the Death Eaters without telling him that his best friends were dead or on their way to prison?_

_Where have you been when Remus had to bury three of his friends within two days?_

_Where have you been when your brother needed you, when he once in his life could have done with your help, tell me Janus!"_

_Richard fell back into an armchair and started to cry. He knew that what had happened had not been Janus' fault, but he was angry that his son had not been able to see what was really going on. He must have heard the names 'Potter' and 'Black' thousands of times during the last three weeks, but he had not been able to connect them to his brother. After those many times Remus had talked about them. No, he had kept on doing whatever it was the Ministry now again demanded of him, not for once asking whether his own family was alright._

_Janus was taken aback. His father wasn't the type of person who lost his composure unless he was really angry. Or really sad. But it all made sense now. Of course Janus remembered Sirius Black, that oh-so-witty friend of his brother. He would never forget the howlers he had received from him one summer, or the various other prank-attempts he had had to endure whenever that blasted kid had been around. And of course he had heard of a Sirius Black being captured. But he had not been able to connect those two._

_And of course he knew that two of Remus' friends were married and had a little child whose godfather Remus was. Well, one of his godfathers as far as he knew. The Potters. Lily and, what was his name, Jimmy? Jamie? James? James, yes. _

_And now they were dead and Sirius was in Azkaban. That explained why Remus hadn't shown up even though Richard had not exactly been silent during the last couple of minutes._

_Janus dropped back against the sofa and ran his hands through his hair._

_"Oh fuck!"_

_"Oh fuck alright, Janus! Do you have any idea what the last couple of weeks were like? Do you have any idea what your brother is going through right now? I can't deal with this alone, Janus. I can't. It's too much for me. I could have done with your help, but you were Merlin only knows where playing hide and seek with the Death Eaters instead of here. You weren't there when we needed you!"_

_Janus got up from the sofa and crouched down in front of his father._

_"Dad, I'm sorry, alright? I'm sorry. I didn't know. After Voldemort fell, I was told that neither you nor Remus were harmed, so I thought you were alright. I thought there was no need for me to come home, and it was important that we got hold of those Death Eaters. I just didn't know."_

_Richard shook his head, got up and went into the kitchen, Janus following suit. Richard boiled some water with a flick of his wand, then took two of the few remaining clean cups from the shelf and put some tea bags into them. Janus leaned against the counter and waited for his father to regain his composure. Richard handed him a cup, but at that moment Janus couldn't care less about tea._

_"How's Remus?"_

_Richard sat down on the kitchen table and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. _

_"Bad. Not eating. Sleeping only when I drug him. Lost all interest. Broken."_

_"Is there anything I can do?"_

_Richard looked up and raised an eyebrow. Janus was shocked to realized that his father looked far older than fifty-two right now._

_"You could find out who the Aurors at his interrogation were and then tell me their names so that I can kill them slowly and painfully."_

_"He was taken in for questioning?"_

_That didn't make sense. Not really. Normally, only suspects were questioned at the Ministry building._

_"Oh, I think they also questioned him. Between binding him up, forcing potions down his throat, keeping him awake by force, yes I think they also found the time to ask a question or two."_

_Janus sighed._

_"Dad, that's standard procedure."_

_Richard slammed his cup onto the table with such a force that the tea spilled all over the wood._

_"Standard procedure? He wasn't even allowed a lawyer and they were treating him as if he was a guilty man."_

_"He's a werewolf."_

_Richard jumped to his feet, his eyes flashing dangerously in anger._

_"What do you want to say with this?"_

_"Only that Ministry regulations don't allow werewolves a lawyer. You know that as well as I do. And after all he was a close friend of both, the Potters and Black, so it's only natural that they would question him. And if Remus had done nothing wrong, there surely wouldn't have been the need to keep him so long."_

_Richard slowly stepped closer to Janus who was still leaning against the counter._

_"Are you trying to tell me that you think Remus has anything to do with this? That he knew about Black's involvement with the Death Eaters? Maybe that he had shifted sides as well?"_

_"I'm only saying that it's no secret that Voldemort had tried to recruit werewolves. The Ministry is right if they're suspicious, better be safe than sorry. Neither you nor I really understand how much his lycanthropy affects Remus, how much being a dark creature affects his mind. How could the Ministry know? And you have to admit that it's their right to be suspicious towards a werewolf who was a close friend of a high-ranking Death Eater."_

_Janus didn't even see the blow coming. Before he realized it, his head flew to the side and a stinging pain spread through his left cheek. He looked at his father in complete and utter shock._

_Never, never ever throughout their entire youth had Richard slapped one of them before. No matter how angry he had been, no matter how much they would have deserved it. _

_"You'll never again say something like this in my house! I'd have thought that after seventeen years you'd be able to put your stupid prejudices aside, but obviously I've been mistaken. You only see the wolf, the dark creature, you talk about your own brother as if he was nothing like a werewolf. Tell me, has Remus ever shown any signs to prove your prejudices? Has he ever been aggressive, inclined to the dark?_

_I'm ashamed that I have to remind you that it's your brother we're talking about here, not some creature that tried to attack innocent people from behind. It's your brother, for Merlin's sake! He's cursed enough as it is, he doesn't need your biased accusations, especially not now. _

_For seventeen years you've done nothing but use his condition to blame him for everything that happened, but this will stop now! I know beyond all doubt that Remus knew nothing about Black's involvement with the Death Eaters and I know that he'd have never done anything to harm his friends. Have you ever listened when he talked about them? Don't you know how much they meant to him?_

_Remus is the most loyal person I've ever met, and if you really doubt him and if you really believe what you've just said, then you better leave now and never come back!"_

_With this, Richard turned around and went upstairs, leaving a very confused Janus who was still absent-mindly rubbing his cheek behind._


	2. Surprises

Ah, thank you already for the feedback you've given me. A/N will be at the end of the chapters in this story, so that those who don't want to read them don't have to scroll down that much.

Okay, you might notice a gap of about five a half years between those two chapters, don't worry, all your questions will be answered later on.

Just one more thing about this chapter before you start reading:

Though I'm quite sure that my seven year old Harry is done quite alright, this chapter also features eighteen months old Harry. Just this much: I don't know any small children, don't have any myself and therefore don't really know how good children at that age can talk. So, if you think I did him wrong let me know, but don't flame, I didn't know any better. To me, he sounds somewhat like a house elf…

But enough of this, on you go.

Enjoy!

**Surprises**

Harry woke up to the sound of voices speaking downstairs in the kitchen. With a deep sigh, he rubbed his sleep puffed eyes with the palms of his hands before he slowly set to the task of opening them. Bright sunlight filtered through the light curtains into his room, but that was about everything he could clearly see without his glasses.

Slightly wondering why he still felt so tired, normally once he had woken up there was nothing that could stop him from roaming the house, he sat up in his bed and put on the glasses that had lain on the bedside table.

Yawning and once more rubbing his eyes under the glasses, he listened to the voices that were conversing downstairs. His forehead frowned, he could not imagine who would visit them so early in the morning.

And then he remembered. Of course, how could he have forgotten! Today was his birthday, his seventh birthday, and he'd not been able to go to sleep the previous evening because he had been far too excited about the big surprise he had been promised.

With a grin, Harry climbed out from under the blankets and literally ran out of his bedroom and down the stairs, not caring that he was still wearing his pyjamas and that his hair was tousled beyond even its usual state of being wild. Not that this would have changed even if he had tried to comb it.

When he stepped into the kitchen, a bright smile spread across his face.

His grandpa was sitting on the kitchen table with his one and a half year old cousin Julia on his lap. He was talking to his aunt Serena while he tried to hinder Julia from spilling the contents of his coffee cup across his lap. Julia seemed to find the yellow cup extremely interesting and refused to stop her attempts to get hold of it. Serena was laughing at the pair of them, especially when Richard asked her to help him with 'her brat'. 

Harry decided to ask him later what 'brat' meant, it sounded funny. Well, his aunt didn't seem to think so, because she started shaking her head, blond hair falling across her shoulders, while she raised a threatening finger at his grandpa. But then again most words Serena reacted to like this proved to be funny.

His uncle Janus was leaning against the kitchen counter, oblivious to what was going on at the kitchen table, one hand around his own cup of coffee, the other holding the morning paper. He was reading out an article to Remus, who stood at the stove and prepared pancakes, from time to time chuckling about something Janus had read. 

For a moment, Harry stood in the doorway and took in the scene of his family, who had all come only because of his birthday, with a huge grin on his face, until his excitement got the better of him and he literally stormed into the room to make his presence noticed.

Janus had just enough time to put his hot coffee onto the counter before a swirl of unruly black hair and blue pyjamas launched himself at him with a squeal of delight.

"Now looks who's finally decided to show up." He said as he lifted Harry clear off the floor and hugged him. "Happy Birthday, little one. We had already thought we would have to start the party without you."

Harry drew back a little and looked at Janus from his intense green eyes, then grinned and shook his head feverishly.

"Nah, you wouldn't have."

His uncle just repeated the grin and raised an eyebrow in mocked seriousness.

"Sure about that?"

Harry just nodded.

"Remus wouldn't have let you."

"Speaking of which, how come that I'm being ignored here, young man?"

Harry turned around while Janus set him back on the floor and found that Remus had finished the pancakes and now stood in front of the stove, his arms crossed over his chest and trying to look serious, but failing miserably. 

Janus was fairly sure that if Harry's grin would grow just a little wider, the top of his head would fall off.

The boy quickly made up for not noticing his godfather earlier and gave him an equally long hug while Remus affectionately ruffled Harry's hair.

"Happy birthday, pup." He held Harry at arm's length and glanced him up and down. "You grow up way too fast, do you know that?"

Janus made a snorting sound of suppressed laughter from his side.

"Getting sentimental, Remus?"

Remus tuned around and gave his older brother a knowing grin.

"Just wait until Julia is as old as Harry. Just wait. And then, all of a sudden, she's eleven, goes to Hogwarts and only comes home during the holidays, graduates, starts a life of her own, marries a man you absolutely detest, and then you'll ask yourself where all the time went to."

Janus responded only with another snorting sound while Harry went over to his aunt and grandfather to say hello. In a combined effort, he and Julia managed to finally spill Richard's coffee as Harry launched himself at his grandpa and the older man quickly lifted Julia up so that Harry wouldn't squash her in between them. Only Serena's quickly thrown cleaning charm prevented the breakfast from being soaked with coffee.

She laughed and put her wand back into her pocket.

"It seems I'm slowly getting the hang of this. I swear, since Julia has started crawling around the house, causing havoc wherever she goes, I feel like an Auror. Always wand in hand, ready to save my house from getting destroyed."

Harry looked up.

"Julia destroys your house?"

There was so much serenity and honest concern in the little boy's voice that Serena had a hard time to suppress her laughter. She stretched out her arms and pulled Harry onto her lap.

"First of all Happy Birthday Harry. And no, Julia doesn't destroy our house. But small children are often a little clumsy and spill things or knock them over."

Harry nodded as if he understood, but Serena was perfectly sure that he had not grasped it completely. Suddenly, Harry climbed onto his knees in her lap and looked over her shoulder towards Remus.

"Was I clumsy when I was little?"

Remus put the pancakes onto the table and smiled down at his godson.

"A little."

Harry nodded seemed to contemplate this. Then his eyes lit up as another question poked up in his mind.

"Were you clumsy when you were little, Remus?"

Before Remus could answer, Janus next to him began to choke on his coffee as he tried to suppress his laughter. Remus patted his back a little harder than it would have been necessary, the last slap hitting his brother on the back of his head.

Between the coughs Janus managed to utter something that sounded astonishingly like 'you can't even begin to imagine'.

"Alright Harry, sit down on a chair please. You can't eat your breakfast on Serena's lap."

Harry climbed down from his aunt's lap and sat down on his usual chair across from Remus, his eyes lightening up as he looked at the breakfast.

"Chocolate 'n banana pancakes? With syrup?"

Remus smiled and nodded.

"Right. It's your birthday, in case you have forgotten."

Harry looked at him and frowned his nose, a small gesture he always made when he realized that Remus was mocking or teasing him. Which was astonishingly often for a boy of his age.

"Tuck in before it gets cold."

And so Harry did. It was still astonishing for Remus to see how much food such a small boy could devour. He wondered when Harry would hit another growth spurt, he was still quite small for his age, and all the food he ate had to go somewhere after all.

They spent the breakfast talking about small delightful things and when Harry had finally finished his last pancake Remus sent him upstairs to get dressed while he cleaned up the kitchen.

The child was back after an astonishingly short amount of time, but Remus couldn't detect any trace of syrup or chocolate on him anymore, so he guessed that Harry had merely hurried because he finally wanted to see what his big surprise was.

Harry literally bounced up and down in excitement.

"What's the surprise? Remus, you said you had a surprise for me!"

Remus smiled and grabbed Harry by the shoulders, turning him around and steering him towards the living room.

"You'll see."

Harry's jaw nearly hit the floor when they entered the living room. Multicoloured balloons were hanging on the walls and the ceiling next to a banner that said "Happy Birthday Harry!". Small blue and green magical lights zoomed up and down the room and on the table in front of the sofa was a stack of wrapped packages.

Harry looked around in awe and when his eyes finally settled on the presents he looked at Remus.

"That's all for me?"

Remus laughed.

"No, all the large ones are for me."

Again that nose frown. Sometimes the little boy's comprehension scared Remus to some extend, but then again were those moments when Harry innocently tried to understand double meanings or word plays and failed miserably.

"Nah, it's not your birthday Remus."

Remus laughed.

"Then go ahead and open them."

Harry didn't really need another encouragement to storm ahead and grab the nearest package in childish excitement. Remus sat down next to him.

"Read the name tag before you open it."

"It's from grandpa!"

Harry ripped the red wrapping paper open and found his first own set of wizard's chess in a not-so-violent junior edition, a dark blue jumper and a new set of crayons. Harry looked at the chess set in awe, then flung himself at Richard.

"Thank you grandpa. Remus never allowed me to play with his figures. Will you teach me how to play? Please?"

Harry made his big puppy eyes that never failed their purpose and Richard laughed.

"Of course. But why don't you open up your other presents first?"

Harry eagerly complied. The next present was from Serena and Janus, and when he opened it, he found, to his great astonishment, a set of Quidditch robes. Harry looked up in confusion, first to his aunt and uncle, then to Remus. His godfather scowled darkly at his uncle.

"Remus?"

Ignoring Harry's voice, Remus deepened his scowl. Harry looked at the dark green robes in confusion, until Remus' voice interrupted him.

"The Dublin Dragons, Janus?"

Janus just grinned widely, ignoring his brother's obvious disapproval completely.

"Of course the Dragons, what else? The kid has to learn sooner or later which Quidditch teams are good and which are not. And who shall teach him if not me? You? I think not."

"Oh, and why not?"

"Because then Harry would end up in Puddlemere United robes, or worse, the Paris Panthers."

"There's nothing wrong with the Panthers!"

"Except that the French don't know how to play Quidditch. Really, naming a team after an animal that can't even fly. And then the way they play…"  
"Hey!" Richard interrupted his sons. "You seem to forget the little detail that I'm French, which makes you partly French as well if I'm not very much mistaken. And shouldn't this be a birthday party instead of a discussion about Quidditch?"

Both Janus and Remus immediately stopped their argument and looked away in embarrassment. Richard had to suppress his laughter as he once more realized how much authority he still held for his now grown up sons. But Harry still didn't understand.

"But why do you give me Quidditch robes? You know that Remus doesn't allow me to…"

Remus put a hand on Harry's shoulder and smiled. Just finish unpacking, then you'll see. The yellow package next."

It was a rather large package and it came from Remus. Inside, Harry found a stack of new clothes, a set of Exploding Snap cards, three books and a huge package of Chocolate Frogs. Harry loved books, it came along with being raised by Remus. He had practically grown up in the bookstore his godfather ran in town. The clothes were great as well, just like the game and the chocolate, but this present didn't answer his question about the Quidditch gear. He looked up at Remus somewhat confused, but gave him a hug nevertheless.

"Thank you Remus."

"You're welcome, pup."

Remus inwardly smiled and started counting down from ten to zero, he didn't expect his godson to wait longer than that. Nine, eight, seven, six,…

"Remus?"

Remus smiled. Patience definitely wasn't one of Harry's virtues.

"Yes Harry?"

"What about the Quidditch gear?"

Remus smiled.

"I told you there was a surprise, didn't I?"

"Well yes, but what do I need a Quidditch gear for? You said you don't want me to play because it's too dangerous."

Remus sighed and put an arm around Harry's small shoulders.

"Well, your uncle over there kept on pestering me about this for weeks. He is convinced that Quidditch isn't dangerous at all, with which I don't really agree, and that the one time when you fell off your broom and broke your arm was just a normal accident that happens once in a while, which I don't believe either, but I knew that he would not stop pestering me about it and so I made a deal with him."

Harry frowned in confusion. Whenever Remus tried to explain something without wasting too much time, especially when other adults were present, he tended to construct awfully long sentences with many commas and subordinates. Whenever this happened, Harry tried to focus on the few words he understood, trying to deduce Remus' meaning from them. 

"What deal?"

"Well, he promised me to refrain from teaching you how to play it himself, which would be a hazard to your health and my nerves, if I agreed to let you…oh, why don't we just go outside, then you'll understand."

He pulled Harry up from the sofa and out of the back door into the garden, the rest of the family in tow. The first thing Harry's eyes fell on when he looked around was the junior broom that was leaning on the wall next to the door. Harry's eyes were as wide as they would open when he cautiously approached the broom as if it was a dangerous animal. A sheet of paper was fixed to the handle with spell-o-tape. 

"Read the paper first."

Harry nodded and carefully pulled the paper of the handle, reading aloud as good as he could with only slightly more than a year of reading practice. But though he stumbled over the more difficult words, the meaning soon became very clear to him.

"En-rollment confirmation for Highley Junior Quidditch practice for Harry Potter…"

Harry looked up in confusion.

"I'm allowed to learn Quidditch? In a team? With my own broom?"

Remus smiled and nodded. At first he had not considered it to be such a good idea, not from everything he knew about Quidditch. Of course, it was fun to watch, but he had never been that keen on playing it. And from all he had witnessed during his school days, from all the times James or Sirius had spent another week in the hospital wing because of a Quidditch accident, his conviction of the sport's danger had only deepened.

A painful lump started to build up in his chest and throat, like it always did when Remus thought about his former friends from school, but he successfully forced it down this time. He would not allow himself to wallow in his most painful memories, not on Harry's birthday above all else.

When he looked at his godson and saw the excitement in Harry's eyes he was glad that he had let Janus convince him eventually. Remus realized that he had not answered Harry's question.

"Yes. You'll be learning Quidditch, in a team in Highley, with your own broom. Happy Birthday."

Harry stared from the broom to Remus and back again for some moments, as if he was fighting an inner battle which of them to hug first, then he broke into a huge grin and flung himself at Remus.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

Remus laughed and made a couple of steps backward to balance Harry's impact. The smile on his godson's face definitely had been worth the inner battle against his concerns and doubts.

"As I said, you're welcome. I'm glad you like your present. And I think you understand now why you got the Quidditch gear?"

Harry positively beamed and nodded, then freed himself from Remus' embrace and thanked his aunt and uncle equally enthusiastically.

As they made their way back into the house, Remus held Janus back by the sleeve of his robe. When he had the undivided attention of his brother, he again shot him a scolding look that was replied with an expression of mock innocence.

"The Dublin Dragons?"

Remus asked this again as if he had already forgotten the answer to that question. Janus grinned.

"Yepp, the Dragons. Green suits Harry."

Remus raised an eyebrow and tried to will his mouth to stop forming a grin. He failed.

"Thanks for convincing me."

Janus playfully punched his arm.

"Hey, one of us here has to keep the kid's best interest in mind. Just imagine if he went to Hogwarts and had never played Quidditch before."

"Hey, I didn't play Quidditch either and it didn't harm my development. On the contrary, it saved me from spending even more time in the infirmary than I already did."

Janus laughed.

"That's true. You couldn't fly a broom without crashing to the ground. I swear, I've never seen a person with a worse balance in my entire life. But Harry's different, he's a natural flyer."  
Remus hit his forehead with his palm as if he had suddenly understood something obvious.

"Oh, that's why he fell of that broom and nearly broke his neck the first time he tried."

"He wouldn't have fallen off if you hadn't confused him with your constant shouting. 'Don't fly so high!' 'Watch out for that tree!' 'Don't fly so fast!' Really, you were behaving like a mother hen."

"Oh, now it's all my fault again?"

"Boys, come in. We want to leave."

Janus and Remus turned to find their father at the door, a scolding look on his face. With a sigh, Remus stepped past Richard back into the house, Janus at his heels. Richard grabbed his older son's sleeve. Must be contagious behaviour, Janus decided.

"Is it really necessary that you start fighting again? Especially about something unimportant like this?"

Richard whispered the words so that Remus and Harry wouldn't hear them. Janus shrugged.

"We weren't fighting. Just bantering a little. You know what it's like, playing the verbal balls to and fro. Normal behaviour between brothers."

Flashing his father a grin, Janus too went back into the house while Richard closed the door behind them. Normal behaviour between brothers indeed. Except from the fact that Janus and Richard were anything but normal brothers.

He went back into the living room to find that everybody was already prepared to leave. Well, everybody except from Harry, as it seemed. He was bent over the couch table, setting up his chess set. Remus was crouched down next to him, without any success trying to tell him that there would be time for that later.

"No, grandpa has said that he would teach me how to play chess. I want to play chess now."

Richard had to smile. He could already imagine what his evenings would look like during the next couple of weeks.

Remus sighed and got up from his crouch. With a wink at his sister-in-law he put up a fake expression of disappointment.

"Well Serena, it seems we have to call up Eric and David and tell them that Harry doesn't want his second surprise. We'll stay here."

At the word 'surprise', Harry spun around in excitement, knocking over all the set up pieces in the process. He had placed most of them wrong anyway.

"Another surprise?"

Remus nodded at him.

"Yes, we had planned to spend the day in London with you and your friends, but I understand if you rather want to stay here and practice chess with dad. I'll call up Eric and David, surely they'll understand. Maybe we can go next year."

Harry jumped to his feet and was at Remus' side within a heartbeat.

"No, please don't call them. I want to go to London, please, let's go to London. Please Remus?"

Remus' grin widened with every word Harry said and at the end of his godson's plea he couldn't stop himself from laughing. Harry watched him with a curious expression.

"You've been making fun of me."

Again, he frowned his nose, and this time Remus found the gesture so endearing that he scooped the boy up in his arms and lifted him from the ground.

"I've been teasing you. Sorry, but I had to get you away from that chessboard. So, ready to fetch your friends and go to London?"

Harry nodded eagerly.

"Eric and David will come with us, too?"

Eric and David were Harry's best friends. Eric was the son of Martin, one of Remus' co-workers at the bookstore, and David lived practically down the street. Both were a couple of months younger than Harry, which meant that they would not attend Hogwarts together in one year, but that was something the boys didn't waste any thought on now. The three of them were inseparable whenever their free time or the Ministry regulations allowed.

"Yes, Eric and David will come with us. As will Janus, Serena, Julia and dad. Is that alright?"

Harry nodded again.

"More than alright."

"Good."

Remus put Harry down on the floor again and affectionately ruffled his hair.

"What are we waiting for then?"

Harry looked for a moment as if he was contemplating this rhetoric question for real, then he grabbed Remus' hand and dragged him towards the front door. Laughing, Remus allowed his godson to pull him out of the room.

"What will we be doing in London?"

Remus gestured Harry to wait for Serena, who had to fetch Julia's baby-bag from the kitchen.

"Well, that's up to you. Dad and I have been thinking up a couple of possibilities and after we've fetched Eric and David we'll let you decide. It's your birthday, after all. We could go to the London Zoo, or to the Maritime Museum,…"

Seeing Harry's frown at the mention of the word 'museum', Remus had to laugh.

"It's not a normal museum. They have an interactive area for children where you can play around with a lot of things. It's rather fun, I promise, not like a museum at all. For lunch, we could have a picnic in the Hyde Park and we'll pretend to be muggles all day long and take the London Underground to get where we want to go. But let's get the other two members of your gang and then we'll decide, alright?"

Harry nodded and after Serena had finally all things together to keep Julia occupied during the day, they left the house and walked down the street to David's house.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Excerpt from the Ministry regulations concerning case A14022/XD1982:

Case of Guardianship for Harry James Potter; Custody given to Remus J. Lupin on October 16th, 1982 under the following restrictions:

[…]

**§ 82: The transfer of custody for Harry Potter to Remus J. Lupin is only granted under the condition that the child Harry Potter is not left without the supervision of at least one fully educated wizard when not being in a protected area. For listings of the protected areas see appendix 4, § 7.**

**§ 82a: In case that the child Harry Potter will be spending an amount of time longer than one hour in non-wizarding areas, the company of at least two fully educated wizards except from Remus J. Lupin is required. A case like this requires registration at the Ministry department in charge of monitoring the custody case at least ten days beforehand.**

A list of exceptional cases of emergency during which § 82 and § 82a don't apply can be found in appendix 2, § 1a.

[…]

Please note that any violation of the above restrictions will immediately lead to investigation and re-evaluation of the Case of Guardianship.

Signed:

Cornelius S. Fudge, Minister of Magic

London, October 19th, 1982.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_Christmas didn't take place this year._

_Oh, most families celebrated it like there had never been another Christmas before, now with the threat of Voldemort gone, but Richard Lupin had decided that celebrating was completely out of question for his family this year. Not with tragedy so close in the past._

_Remus definitely wasn't in the mood to celebrate anything, let alone a family holiday like Christmas, and Janus had not set foot into Richard's house again after their fight in the kitchen some weeks ago. Another thing that bothered Richard greatly._

_Of course he had known for years that Remus' lycanthropy was the sore point in their family life, especially for Janus. He had been nine years old when Remus had received the bite, old enough to understand the implications. And old enough to suffer from the consequences. Moving from one place to another, leaving friends behind every time that people found out about Remus' curse. Janus had done nothing wrong (well, neither had Remus), but he was shunned and chased away all the same. People didn't like their children to play with the brother of a monster._

_Maybe Richard and Nadine had made mistakes after Remus had been bitten, but who wouldn't have? One moment, they had been a normal married couple with two normal children, and a day later they found their younger son being attacked in the night, nearly dying of his wounds. Both had been positively devastated at the news that their son now was a werewolf, but they had never even contemplated to give up on him. What had followed had been months during which they consulted every doctor that knew at least something about lycanthropy. They had frantically searched for a cure, for any way to at least make things easier for the five year old boy who was way too young to understand what had happened to him._

_Of course Janus had been pushed into the background, of course his needs and problems had suddenly appeared to be minor compared to what Remus was going through. Of course it shouldn't have been that way, they should have continued paying both their sons an equal amount of attention. But unfortunately, there was no handbook of standard procedures for such a case, no guide to advice them how to manage the situation without completely failing._

_Of course they had made mistakes, and concerning Janus that had been big mistakes indeed. But Richard had always hoped that, even if Janus couldn't understand it as a child, he would be able to understand it later. How wrong he had been._

_The breaking point had been when Nadine had left the family. Richard didn't blame her. It had already been a shock for his muggle-fiancé when he had told her that he was a wizard. Nadine had always been sceptical towards the wizarding world, but had accepted it as a necessity to marry the man she loved. But seeing her younger son turning into a raging predator once a month, raging his body into a bloodied pulp and completely wiping out his humanity for a couple of hours had proven too much in the end. She had left five years after Remus had been bitten, running away with a muggle and leaving her family and the wizarding world behind her for good._

_Looking back, Richard realized that he should have paid more attention to Janus from that point on. Should have. It had been his responsibility as a parent. He had failed that responsibility then, now he knew. He hadn't seen how much Janus suffered under their family situation, he hadn't seen how his older son had anchored the blame for all his frustration, hurt and suffering in Remus and his lycanthropy. Richard had been too focussed on getting his life back under control, managing to raise two children on his own, coordinating his work with the lunar circle. No wonder Janus had learned to see the werewolf rather than Remus, his brother. It was far more easy to focus his anger on a dark creature than on an innocent boy who had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. _

_Richard had thought a lot about those things ever since he had practically thrown Janus out of the family last month. Again, he had put Remus' wellbeing over Janus', only this time he knew it had been the right decision. The necessary decision. But how was Janus supposed to see the difference between this situation and the many times before when he had been pushed in the background because of his younger brother? How was he supposed to see that he had been blaming the wrong family member all along?_

_"Dad?"___

_Hearing Remus' voice from the kitchen, Richard stopped his brooding and looked up. Remus was leaning in the doorframe and looked at him as if he was trying to read his thoughts._

_"Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you, but you seemed miles away. I just wanted to ask whether you want some dinner."_

_Richard got up from his armchair and walked over to Remus, giving him an arm to lean on while walking into the kitchen._

_"There's absolutely no way that I let you cook. You shouldn't even be up for such a long time."_

_Inwardly, Richard was more than glad that Remus had finally started to leave his room again. He had also started eating again, though listlessly and not in large amounts. But Richard was glad about every improvement, no matter how small. The change had come during the last two weeks. Before that, it had been already so bad that Richard had even had to feed his son nourishing potions twice a day. _

_The first full moon after the murders had been the worst Richard had ever seen. Even if he had doubted the wolf's grasp of the events in Remus' life before, he wouldn't have done it after this night. The wolf had clearly known what had happened in his pack, as Remus had always called his friends. And it had raged because of it._

_When Richard had entered the garden shelter after moonset that morning, the smell of blood hat hit him like a wave. Just one look inside the shack had told him more than he had ever wanted to know about the wolf's capabilities when it was angry. _

_Richard had immediately turned around and retched the contents of his stomach into the flowerbed next to the shelter. The shack had looked as if a massacre had taken place there. There was blood on the walls, on the floor and on the backside of the door. The mattress that had been lying there for two years now, remaining relatively unharmed by the wolf so far, had been shred to pieces, leaving bloodied feathers and pieces of fabric all around the shack. There was no other furniture in the shack, but the dents and splints of wood in and below the walls had shown that the wolf had found something else to let his rage out on. The walls and – Remus._

_In the middle of this bloody chaos Remus had been lying, every inch of his body covered in cuts, bruises, blood and dirt._

_Fifteen minutes longer and he would have been dead, the doctor had said. _

_For two days it had not been sure whether he would make it even despite the immediate medical help, and during the two weeks following the full moon he had hardly been lucid and not been able to leave his bed. And because he couldn't keep any food down, Richard had been feeding him nutrition potions._

_But during those days after the full moon Richard had realized that Remus didn't want to die, like he had feared he did. He had fought to come back where it would have been easy to let go of the will to live. This development gave Richard some hope that things would turn out to become better if given enough time, but already the next full moon was close and he wasn't so sure whether the wolf shared Remus' will to live._

_He pushed Remus gently down into one of the kitchen chairs and then opened the fridge. _

_"What do you want for dinner?"_

_Remus shrugged his shoulders._

_"Doesn't really matter._ Something that doesn't taste like sawdust would be nice, but I guess that's not the food's fault."__

_Richard sighed._

_"Any objections against sandwiches?__ I don't really feel like cooking, and there's still some chicken from yesterday evening that shouldn't go to waste."_

_Again, Remus shrugged and so Richard started putting the necessary things onto the table. _

_While they ate, he watched his son carefully._

_Remus definitely needed to eat more, no doubt about that. He had lost a lot of weight during the last weeks, and there hadn't been awfully much of it to begin with._

_But first and foremost he needed something to bring the light back into his eyes. He needed a purpose, something he deemed worth living for. Something that would make him laugh again some day. Richard had no idea what this could be, but he was determined to give everything he could think of at least a try._

_"Have you already thought about when you want to take up your studies again? Finish the work you've postponed and take up teaching the classes again?"_

_No, this definitely wasn't something that could gather Remus' interest. His eyes remained dull as he looked up and shook his head._

_"Not really. But not anytime soon."_

_"Then what do you intend to do?"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_Richard forced another sandwich onto Remus' plate, fully well knowing that his son wouldn't eat it. Well, you couldn't blame him for trying._

_"I mean that you can't go on like this forever. You need to do something, you need to distract yourself. I don't expect you to pick up your life where you left it two months ago, but you need to get out of the house from time to time. You need something that keeps you from brooding, it does you no good."_

_Remus raised his hand and gestured his father to stop._

_"Please don't, dad. I can't have that now. Not the 'you need a purpose in your life' lesson again."_

_Richard realized that Remus was starting to shut out the world again. But he wouldn't allow it this time, he wasn't sure whether he could manage another month like the previous. He still had one ace up his sleeve, though he hadn't dared to play it before. He didn't know whether it would merely double Remus' pain by bringing back what he so desperately tried to forget, but he had to try._

_"Have you considered visiting Harry sometime soon?"_

_Remus' head shot up and for a moment, for the fragment of a second, Richard thought he had seen his son's eyes light up a little. It was gone as soon as it came, but he had certainly managed to get Remus' interest._

_"What?"_

_"Visit Harry._ Your godson. I was just thinking, well…as far as I know he's living with some relatives of his and I guess that he could need somebody he knows to come and see him. After all, he's old enough to realize that all the people he has been used to aren't there anymore."__

_Remus bit his lower lip. He had tried not to think about Harry ever since he had read that newspaper article about the events at Godric's Hollow. Thinking about Harry automatically led to thinking about James and Lily, and that was something he tried to avoid. He looked up._

_"You know perfectly well that I'm not his godfather in front of the law, I only was for James and Lily. I have no right on him whatsoever."_

_Richard only shook his head._

_"I'm not talking about legal guardianship. I'm talking about emotional responsibility. Harry knows you, you're in fact the only person that still binds him to James and Lily. His parents are dead and he's living with some relatives he's never seen in his entire life. I think you owe it to him to at least say hello once. Or goodbye, in case you decide to leave it all behind."_

_For some long moments, Remus stared out of the kitchen window. The idea of visiting Harry had a certain attraction, Remus had to admit. Just checking that he was doing fine, that he could leave him in the care of his relatives with a clear conscience._

_Slowly, Remus nodded._

_"You know, I think you're right. I should check that he's doing fine, that much I owe to James and Lily. Just see if he's being treated right and has everything he needs."_

_Again he nodded, this time a little more enthusiastically._

_"I think I'll drop by tomorrow afternoon, just to say goodbye to him. But…do you know where his relatives live?"_

_Richard shook his head, resisting the urge to smile all across his face. He was fairly sure that Remus would not be able to just visit Harry once and then never again, and maybe some regular time with the little boy would convince him that life wasn't that cruel and fate wasn't that much of a bitch as Remus thought right now._

_"I'll ask Professor Dumbledore tomorrow morning, he wanted to come over anyway. He has put Harry there, he has to know where his relatives live."  
Richard smiled at his son and his heart skipped a beat when Remus actually smiled back. A short, but genuine smile. The first real smile he had given in what seemed like ages._

_"I think I'll go to bed now. Good night dad."_

_"Night, Remus."_

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_The next afternoon, Remus apparated into _Magnolia Crescent__ around __three o'clock___.__ Dumbledore had at first seemed doubtful whether visiting Harry was such a good idea given Remus' current emotional state and the close full moon, but in the end had agreed that it might rather help him than causing any harm. Before Remus had left, his father had forced him to drink an entire bottle of Pepper-Up-Potion, saying that though he was glad that Remus was up again, he shouldn't take any risk of straining himself too much._

_So Remus now approached Nr. __4 Privet Drive__ with a small package under his arm. It was Christmas, after all, so he had gone to __London__ and bought Harry a present. All of the boy's former possessions had been buried in the debris of his past home and the boy surely could do with something that reminded him of the life he had been used to. _

_Remus remembered that Lily had more than once mentioned her sister's dislike for anything magical, so he had bought Harry a new copy of his favourite muggle children's book and a stuffed lion that looked very similar to the one James had bought him shortly before he had been born._

_But as Remus climbed the front steps of Nr. 4, he started doubting that this visit had been a good idea at all. Surely Harry had already gotten used to his new family, and even though Lily and what was her name…Petunia had never really gotten along, his aunt and uncle surely wouldn't transform that dislike onto their small nephew. Did he really want to interfere into this newly forming family?_

_But then again he had promised his father that he would come, and he hadn't come here to start being a part of Harry's life again, he had come here to make sure he was alright and to say goodbye._

_With this thought in mind, Remus found the courage to ring the bell._

_After some moments, the door opened and a tall, blond woman with an incredibly long neck stood in front of Remus. So this was the infamous Petunia. Remus had to agree, she didn't resemble Lily at all. She glanced Remus up and down, trying to find out who he was and what he wanted._

_"Yes?"_

_"Good afternoon. I'm Remus Lupin, a friend of your sister and her husband. I wanted to visit Harry, if that's possible."_

_Petunia raised an eyebrow and her expression darkened, if that was even possible._

_"What would you want to see him for?"_

_Remus shrugged his shoulders._

_"I had guessed that he might miss me. I've seen him quite often before…before it all happened."_

_"So? Then why didn't you take him in?"_

_Remus sighed. This was more difficult than he had imagined._

_"Circumstances interfered. I'm not allowed to, legally."_

_Petunia's expression grew more suspicious, as if she was mentally contemplating what this could mean. Maybe she thought that he was a criminal, though Remus couldn't care less at that moment._

_"Listen Mrs. Dursley, is it possible that I see Harry? Just for a few moments?"_

_Petunia slowly shook her head._

_"I'm not sure. My husband is not home right now and we don't want him to be visited by…your kind. Not in our house."_

_"I assure you that it would only be this one time. My intention to come here was to say goodbye to him, but I wanted to see him just once more. Rest assured that I won't be wasting anymore of your time in the future."_

_Petunia sighed._

_"Alright.__ Keep it short and don't upset our son. Harry is in the living room."_

_She opened the door to let him in and then gestured towards the door that led to the living room. Remus nodded at her._

_"Thank you."_

_He stepped into the living room and looked around. Not too bad. There were toys lying around, a baby blanket on the floor in front of the sofa and a multi-coloured playpen with loads of stuffed animals was standing next to an armchair. Inside was a sleeping toddler, but one look at it told Remus that this could not be Harry. No way could anybody have fed the boy enough to make him grow to that size in two months. Besides, the sleeping boy had blond hair, not Harry's messy black mane. But then were was Harry?_

_Remus quickly scanned the room, already thinking that Petunia had been mistaken when his eyes fell into the corner of the room. There, hidden from view by a large, overstuffed armchair, stood another playpen, this one made of battered wood. It looked quite old and instable. When Remus stepped closer, he first thought that it was empty, but then he saw the small figure lying on a blanket in the corner. Except from the blanket and the child there was nothing else in the playpen. _

_Remus raised a curious eyebrow, but no matter how hard he looked, there was no sign of any toy or stuffed animal in sight._

_"Harry?"_

_The baby didn't move._

_"Harry?"_

_Remus asked louder this time, and the small child slowly rose his head. Remus smiled and waited for his usual greeting that consisted of outstretched arms and happy syllables that somehow resembled his name. But nothing happened. Harry watched him from those unbelievable green eyes, but he didn't stretch out his arms or demanded to be lifted up._

_Remus frowned and sat down next to the stall._

_"Hiya pup.__ Don't you recognize me?"_

_He put his arms into the playpen to lift Harry up, but the baby scooted away a little._

_"Hey, what's wrong? You can't have forgotten me after such a short time, can you? It's me, Moony."_

_The sound of his nickname sounded strange in Remus' ears. He had not heard it being spoken for some time now, ever since the tragedy had happened. But he didn't have time to contemplate about this now as he was starting to get a little worried about Harry. The little boy didn't behave anything like he had done only a couple of months ago. Lily had never stopped complaining that Harry was just as active and restless as his father, he hardly ever shut up or stopped crawling around._

_But now he just sat passively in his playpen, staring at Remus._

_The death of his parents must have hit him harder than Remus had thought possible for such a small child. But then again, all his family had gone within a couple of hours and surely Harry still didn't understand where they were._

_Remus picked up the package from beside him and, opening the one side of the playpen that was movable, held it out to Harry. Though the toddler didn't scoot away this time, he also didn't make any move to take the present._

_"I got a present for you, Harry. It's Christmas, surely you know that. Come on, open it up."_

_Remus smiled down at Harry in an assuring way, but as Harry still didn't make an attempt to accept his present, he loosened one of the tape straps that held the wrapping paper in place._

_"Here, I help you a little with opening it up. You've always loved wrapping paper, don't you remember? At your mom's birthday you couldn't get enough of unwrapping things."_

_This time, Harry's head shot up when Remus spoke, and as he realized because of what Remus inwardly cursed._

_"Mommy?"__  
The unbelievably sad look in Harry's eyes stung in Remus' chest like a silver dagger. Why had he have to remind the child about it?_

_"Sorry Harry, your Mommy is not here. I'm so sorry."_

_A tear made its way down Harry's cheek and that was all it took to make Remus pick him up and hug him tightly. At first, Harry struggled against his hold, but after some moments he wrapped his small arms around Remus neck and let himself be hold._

_"Shhh, it's alright. Let's open up your present, shall we?"_

_He put Harry down into his lap and again tried to hand him the package. But Harry only shook his head._

_"What is it, Harry?"_

_"__Dudley__ presents, no Harry."_

_Remus looked puzzled down at the small boy._

_"No Harry, that present is for you, not for __Dudley__."_

_"Harry get no presents."_

_Remus turned Harry in his lap so that he was looking in his eyes._

_"Why do you think you don't get presents? It's Christmas, of course you get presents."_

_Harry only shook his head._

_"No. __Dudley__ get."_

_Running his hand through the tousled black hair that stood up in odd angles like it always did, Remus tried to understand what the small child was talking about._

_"Who said you don't get presents?"_

_"Ptuna."___

_On any other occasion, Remus would have laughed about the boy's failing attempt to pronounce his aunt's name properly. But this time, he tried everything he could to suppress his anger._

_"Petunia said you don't get presents?"_

_Harry nodded and sadly looked away._

_"Why?"_

_Remus hadn't really posed the question to Harry, he had rather thought aloud. But immediately, Harry raised his head and told Remus why, using only one word. Remus was fairly sure that Harry had not known the word before he had arrived in this household, but Harry pronounced it as if he had already heard it a thousand times._

_"Freak."__  
At that point, Remus decided to have a little chat with Petunia before he left. But now it was time to get that stupid lesson about not getting presents out of Harry's head again._

_"Harry, you're no freak, okay?_ And I'm giving you a present, so you can open it. I want you to open it, alright?"__

_Harry nodded and started to pry open the wrapping paper, at first carefully as if he expected to get it ripped from his hands any moment, but then as he realized that nobody intended to stop him, his old enthusiasm for wrapping paper got hold of him again and he seemingly enjoyed opening up the two layers of red paper. His eyes lit up in recognition as he saw the contents of the package._

_"Dragon don? Rory?"_

_Remus smiled. Donnie the little green Dragon, or Dragon don as Harry insisted on calling it, was the name of Harry's favourite book. Rory had been the name of his beloved stuffed lion, the name resulting from James' attempt to tell Harry that a lions' sound was called a roar. It was good to see Harry smile again._

_"Yes, Dragon don and a new Rory."_

_Harry looked at his presents once more and then put his arms around Remus' waist into a toddler version of a hug. At that moment Petunia entered the room, surely to indicate that Remus had wasted enough of her precious time. Remus got up from his place at the floor, Harry still in his arms, and made his way over to the stern looking woman._

_Deciding that he didn't want Harry to listen to this, he put the boy down onto the baby blanket close to __Dudley__'s playpen. He then turned towards the woman who appeared to be so much unlike her sister that Remus didn't really believe there were blood ties binding them._

_Remus fixed his eyes onto hers, fully well knowing that his gaze was intimidating her._

_"Would you care to tell me why Harry thinks he doesn't deserve to get presents at Christmas?"_

_Petunia shrugged her shoulders._

_"How should I know why he tells you those things?"_

_"Because he told me you said that. That you said he was a freak and therefore doesn't get any presents."_

_Petunia only made a snorting sound._

_"He's got everything he needs, I don't know why you're complaining."_

_"Because you've somehow managed to turn a happy child into a shy one who thinks he's a freak within two months. He's got everything he needs? How about trying a toy or two for a change? He's sitting there in the corner with only a blanket as his company while your son seems to have more toys than he could ever play with."_

_Petunia only shook her head._

_"Those are my son's toys, he doesn't want Harry to play with them. The boy would only break them, or start doing weird stuff. One can never know with your kind."_

_Remus was nearly speechless, an occurrence that hardly ever happened._

_"Our kind?__ For Merlin's sake, this is a small child we're talking about. He's no different from your son, he's got the same needs than your own child does. Just that he's a wizard doesn't mean that Harry turns your son into a slug with the blink of an eye."_

_"Listen, Mr. Lupert…"_

_"Lupin", Remus corrected automatically._

_"…Lupin, we never asked for this. The boy was dumped on our doorstep without our consent, and we're already doing more than we have to. We've taken him in, give him a place to sleep, he's got enough to eat and is being taken care of. Just that we were compassionate enough to take him in doesn't mean we've wanted it. We weren't given a choice. If Lily hadn't gotten herself killed in one of your hocus-pocus things there then all this would not have been necessary."_

_Now Remus was angry. Really angry. Absolutely pissed off. And it was not a good idea to piss off a grown werewolf so close to full moon. His voice low, but full of venom and determination, Remus decided to give Petunia a piece of his mind about her attitude. Reducing the distance between himself and the woman, Remus gave her a glare that would have made a mountain troll back away._

_"You didn't ask for it? Do you think Harry asked for it? Do you think he was given a choice? Lily didn't get herself killed. She died protecting Harry's life, giving her own so that he could live. She was murdered without a reason, killed by a maniac just because she believed in something that stood in his way. The child has just lost his parents, he needs comfort and love now, not being called a freak!_

_If I ever hear you say something like this again, I swear that you won't have the time left to regret it, did I make myself clear?"_

_Petunia slowly nodded, backing away in fear from the man in front of her. But a loud wail from the playpen behind Remus made her forget the werewolf within a heartbeat. _

_"MINE!"_

_Petunia hurried towards the playpen and as Remus turned around he saw Harry holding his lion tightly, trying to protect it from __Dudley__'s pull._

_"Mine!" The blond boy repeated. Harry shook his head and only clutched the lion more tightly, tears welling in his eyes. _

_"No, Rory mine."_

_Petunia made an end to the argument by pulling the lion out of Harry's grasp and placing it out of his reach into __Dudley__'s playpen. __Dudley__ immediately lost interest in the stuffed lion and Remus was more than shocked to see that Harry just turned around and didn't even try to get his lion back. The boy had obviously already learned that further attempts to get his toy back would be useless._

_Remus just went over, grabbed the lion before __Dudley__ even realized what was going on and crouched down next to Harry. He put the toy back into Harry's hand and then pulled the child into a tight embrace._

_Without even thinking about it, Remus whispered into Harry's ear._

_"Rory is yours, don't let him take it away from you. I'll make sure he won't try it again, okay pup?"  
Harry nodded into Remus' shoulder._

_"And I'll try everything I can to get you out of here, okay? I'll do everything to get you to live with me, would that be alright?"_

_Again, Harry nodded. Remus wasn't entirely sure that the little boy understood what he was telling him, but the comfort of the hug obviously seemed to do him loads of good. Remus pulled the child back a little and looked into his eyes._

_"But now I've got to leave. I promise I'll come back, but I can't take you with me right now. I'll be back and fetch you, I promise, alright pup?"_

_Remus kissed Harry's forehead and put him back onto the floor._

_"Good bye Harry. Don't let them get you down, alright?"_

_Harry looked up. When Remus smiled at him, he even carefully smiled back._

_"Bye Moo'y."_

_"Bye Harry."_

_Turning around, Remus once more stood to face the now furious Petunia. But she didn't scare him in the slightest. With the same threatening voice he had used before, Remus gave her a final advice._

_"The lion and the book belong to Harry. If I were you, I'd not try to take them away from him again. They're magical, who knows what could happen if you misused a magical toy? I wouldn't try to throw them away, either."_

_Of course this was a blatant lie, but Remus didn't care. If he estimated Petunia right, and normally he was quite a good judge of character, then her fear of anything magic would prevent her from taking away Harry's toys again._

_"And I'll try anything I can to get Harry out of here as soon as possible. You haven't deserved a child like him, and he surely deserves to live in a home where he is loved. I'd just advise you to treat him properly while he still remains in your care, otherwise you'll get to see my bad side. And I'm sure you wouldn't want that._

_Good bye, Mrs. Dursley."_

_Without waiting for her reply, Remus turned and left the house._

_As soon as he had crossed the anti-apparition wards around __Privet Drive__, Remus prepared himself to apparate home. But he needed to calm down to do that without splinching himself. He had been only inches away from hexing Petunia and taking Harry with him straight away, but fortunately he had been able to restrain himself. If he wanted to get custody for Harry, he'd have enough trouble with the Ministry even without a kidnapping._

_But though he had not contemplated the idea of taking the custody for Harry before he had said it aloud, he knew that it would be the right thing to do. Harry had deserved better than that. And now that he had promised Harry, he would not give up on that idea._

_Remus apparated home and entered the house, still fuming with anger. Richard was sitting on the sofa in the living room and switched off the television when he saw his son come home._

_"Hi Remus, how has it been?"_

_"Dad, I need your help."_

_"With what?"___

_Remus sat down in an armchair and looked at his father. His face was set and showed that he was determined to do what he had on his mind, no matter what the odds were against him._

_"I'm going to get Harry out of there."_

**Okay, let's get the A/N for the week done, shall we? Thanks to everybody who reviewed already, I promise there is some serious action coming up once the introductory chapters are passed.**

**Eva Phoenix Potter: Thank you. And don't worry, I don't intend NOT to finish this story. There's still a lot more coming up.**

**sarahpeach****: **What did you mean with 'the first story' btw? The preview I gave at the end of TFB? By then, it was still only an unformed idea in my mind, so I still thought it would take place years later. But I decided that it would be more interesting to make Harry younger…more defenceless. *hint* But I hadn't guessed that this would require so many Original Characters. I'm such a bad name-giver, I'm already running out of good names for my characters and yet there are still more to come…OMG, what have I done? *g*

Thanks that you like the way I let Remus deal with it – but as you've seen, it first needs to get worse before it gets better. And no, Janus won't leave and never come back. He'll have a big role to play as the story continues.

I kinda like him.

**Nicky: Thank you. I hope I can live up to the expectations (including my own). Why do I get the feeling that you don't like Janus? I took my own big bro as his role-model to some degree, so the slap was inevitable *g*. But he'll be back…**

**Bored Beyond Belief: I'm flattered. Not only because you like my idea, but even more because just after I posted this chapter, I re-discovered 'Never alone, never again' which I had started reading some time ago and somehow (I still don't know why) lost track of. I absolutely adore your story, but I'm sure I won't be able to fight my urge to review it much longer. **

Hope the story won't disappoint you once the real plot has started.

**Bobbi: Thank you. I'm glad you like Richard and think he's convincing. But Remus isn't really Harry's godfather (Ministry regulations on lycanthropes), at least not legally. I didn't change that from canon. But I always thought that James and Lily had intended Harry to grow up considering all three friends as godfathers of a sort. **


	3. Struggles

Hi there and thanks to everybody who reviewed already! I'm glad you all seem to like my story, I just hope it stays that way. Actually, the story as such hasn't even begun yet…

On now with the A/N for the week, that's something I really missed while I hadn't been posting. 

**Tiger Lily: Glad you like it so far. Actually, I have some problems writing Harry as a child, simply because I don't know any children of that age and really don't know how they behave, how much they comprehend and how they talk. But I got some help at hand, so I hope it won't be too bad. Only there won't be any more baby Harry in the story, maybe some flashbacks to when he was smaller, but never the age he had in the last chapter.**

**starheart20: With the thing about the 'real plot' I meant the story I actually want to write. The first chapters are merely to explain the situation and to introduce all my own characters, I couldn't just have started in the middle of the action without explaining what's going on (and what's so AU about my story). That's what I meant, but nevertheless I'm glad that you're already so fascinated by the 'introduction'. I hope you'll also like the rest!**

**Kathleen: Thanks. I've always asked myself how Remus might have reacted and that's what I came up with. Glad you found it realistic. I do my very best with the updating, but as usual I have the story written in fragments which I still have to tie together, so be patient with me. One update a week seems realistic to me now, with Real Life™ interfering. The chapters aren't actually planned to be that long, but they always become longer and longer while writing. I'm sure you won't complain…**

**Nicky: I know what you mean with big brothers. I have one too, and parts of him can be found in Janus. Definitely. But don't tell him. *g* I'll keep the flashbacks up, you'll see how their relationship developed. But don't get the wrong impression by reading chapter 2 – they might appear to be close now, but they're still walking on thin ice emotionally. A lot of times. You'll see. But Janus definitely has grown up somewhat, you'll see how and why later on.**

**howdidhenot**: I'm not planning on leaving the story anytime soon, so don't be concerned. There's still more to come. A real plot, for once. I like the idea about Harry being in Slytherin if the fic is well written, but Hunting The Traitor won't actually cover the time when Harry goes to Hogwarts. The story will be over long before that. But maybe there'll be a sequel one day, who knows. Then I'll definitely think about your suggestion.

**Mare: Thanks a lot. Yeah, father type Remus is sooooo adorable. Actually, 'Rory' was the best name I could come up with after half an hour of thinking. I'm awfully bad at thinking up names for my human characters ('Janus' took me an entire afternoon and an internet search on Roman mythology…), and names for stuffed animals seem to be even harder to find. *g* And there are still more OCs to come…this is getting out of hand here…**

**vmr**: Thank you very much. I definitely will.

**Jade S: Thank you! I also never saw a fic like this, so I decided to write one. I'm glad you liked the way I portrayed Remus, I did my best to keep him as realistic as possible. Good to hear that it worked for so many people. I agree, a blow like that has to be positively devastating to someone, that's why I put in his will to get custody of Harry – he needs something to keep him going. Yes, he restrained himself with Petunia, very much so. I would have been fun to write him reacting like I imagine Sirius would: swearing and cursing, but that would not have been Remus. Someone like him definitely needs a lot of self-restraint.**

Janus is actually the most fun to write. Don't feel too sorry for him, I guess there will be moments later on when you just want to strangle him. But at least I wanted to give his behaviour towards Remus a certain background.

Remus' struggle with the Ministry will be interesting indeed. And long. I won't write all of it, but you'll hopefully get a good idea of it in the flashbacks. And I guess if you love sad fics, this is exactly your place to be. *g*

**goddess**** of insanity and pauru: Thanks. What kind of plans exactly do you have for Vernon and Petunia? Just wanted to know, maybe you'll let me participate? Vernon will definitely appear later on in the story, so sharpen your battle axe or whatever it is you have in store for him. You'll need it.**

**Bookworm2000: Don't let your mom wait just because of me, the story won't run away. Glad you like it so far, and I too hope it'll go somewhere. Well, I know where it'll go to, I just hope you'll all like it. Any Sirius fans out there? Erm…**

Yepp, the book is out on June 21st, and I already ordered my copy, and if my boss at the bookstore is in a good mood, he'll let me take it home the evening before. Time to be nice to my boss, I guess. For the next…5 months. OhOh…

**Melissa Lupin: Glad you like it. And poor Remus hasn't even seen half of it yet.**

**sarahpeach**: Two words: Thank you! I didn't want to write the flashbacks as complete chapters, I thought the mixture between flashbacks and plot would be more interesting to read. Glad it works.

Still don't like Janus? Why, in this chapter he's actually been nice to his little bro. And that's not the way it'll stay, those two still have issues…

I promise I won't name a dog James, though there'll be a nice little scene where Harry wants Remus to buy him a dog. A little black puppy, one of those that'll grow really big…d'ya know what I mean? Guess what our favourite werewolf will say…

But James the dog in your story isn't bad and always keep in mind whom you're talking to – I named a stuffed lion 'Rory'.

**Starlette: Yeah, I always asked myself as well how Remus might have handled the death and betrayal of his friends. It takes a lot of strength to go through something like that and not go insane about it.**

If you've gotten annoyed with Janus about this, then just wait. Big brothers are also only human (though when I look at mine I sometimes doubt it), and humans are bound to make mistakes. That's all I'm saying.

You're right, Harry has to get out of there. He eventually will, as you know, but it'll be a struggle.

**Moonlight: Thank you! I write as fast as I can, one post per week if I manage.**

**Gabriela: Thank you. I'm glad you like my characterizations. But you forgot about Peter. I guess James and Lily would have wanted Remus, Sirius and Peter to become like godfathers for Harry. After all, Peter was their friend as well – and this is an AU. Remember the disclaimer at the beginning of chapter one? Nothing is what it seems and things aren't bound to happen as they did in canon.**

**A.Dee: Never mind. I'm glad you're here now. It's good to have some 'old faces' back, tells me that I'm doing something right with my stories. You won't actually see that much of the birthday because guess what happens – a PLOT comes up! Yepp, once it had to happen to me *g*!**

**Struggles**

Later that night, Remus lay in his bed and was fast asleep. The day in London had proven to be great fun, Harry and his friends had enjoyed it quite a lot, but it had been tiring nevertheless. Remus felt as if they had walked up and down the entire city nearly twice, which they probably had. The kids had enjoyed the London Underground without ends, but after half an hour of driving around without a certain aim the adults had bribed them out of the ground again with ice cream. Then they had been in the Zoo for the rest of the morning, had had a picnic in Green Park for lunch and had spent the afternoon at Madam Tussaud's and in Greenwich. 

Remus had felt like falling to the ground and sleeping by four in the afternoon when Eric and Harry had dragged them into the Science Museum and he had already thought that the children would never tire. But eventually, after another round of ice cream in Diagon Alley to complete the day, they had.

Serena had left with little Julia early in the afternoon, and by the time they had dropped Eric and David at their homes in the evening both had been hardly able to keep their eyes open anymore. 

Harry hadn't faired much better. As usual, they had walked the remaining distance from David's house because it was only a five-minute walk, but already after some metres Harry had hung behind. Finally, Janus had carried him home and by the time they had entered the house the boy had been fast asleep on his uncle's shoulder, his arms wrapped firmly around Janus' neck. He hadn't even woken up when Remus had put him into his pyjamas and had tucked him into bed.

Richard and Janus hadn't stayed for much longer either and Remus had been quite glad about it. The last thing he needed would be his older brother making fun of him because his godson's birthday party had strained him so much that he went to bed at eight in the evening. Because that was what Remus had done.

Now it was four in the morning and Remus was still deeply asleep in his cocoon of blankets, completely oblivious to everything that was going on around him. Normally he was a light sleeper, waking up even when Harry went to the bathroom in the middle of the night, but this night, he didn't even hear it when the door to his bedroom opened.

Just above the height of the doorknob, a small head with messy black hair poked through the opening. He watched his godfather sleep for some moments, as if contemplating whether to wake him or not. All the while he was rubbing his forehead absent-mindly.

After some moments, he went into the room and closed the door behind him. At the sound of the closing door, Remus began to stir.

"Remus?"

Harry carefully stepped closer to the bed and at the sound of his voice, Remus woke up. Opening one bleary eye he recognized the figure of his godson and ran his hands across his face to get more awake.

"Harry? M-what's wrong?"

Harry shuffled uneasily from one foot to the other and looked at the floor, just as if he was embarrassed.

"Had a nightmare."

Remus nodded and scooped aside a little, making space for Harry on the bed. He lifted the blanket and gestured the boy to lie down beside him.

"Come here."  
Harry climbed into the bed and snuggled close to his godfather while Remus tucked the blanket around him. Harry had nightmares from time to time, and inwardly Remus blamed the Dursleys for the greatest part of them. Though the boy surely couldn't remember the time with them consciously, he still carried it with him one way or another.

But mostly when Harry had had nightmares before, Remus had woken up as well from hearing his godson thrash around in his bed. Werewolf hearing was not always a blessing, but in those cases it had at least made sure for Harry that Remus was there shortly after he woke up from the bad dream. The previous day must have strained him really bad if he had slept over Harry's nightmare, Remus supposed.

"Tell me about the nightmare."

It was their little nightmare ritual. Remus would coax the contents of his dreams out of the boy and then make it seem less scary by explaining it to him. But this time, Harry only buried his face in the pillow close to Remus shoulder and shuddered. Remus wrapped his arm around him and gently rubbed his back. The dream must have been really livid to make Harry react like this. When Harry spoke, it was just a teary whisper somewhere below Remus' ear.

"Make the bad men go away Remus. Make them stop it."

"Shhh, it's alright. Just tell me."

Harry hesitated shortly before he began to tell.

"There were those bad men. Bad men in black cloaks and with masks. They had wands. And they…they were hurting those other people. With their wands. They screamed so loud. And then there was this green light and somebody laughed. 'T was a bad laugh, all scary. And then I woke up and my head hurt."

Remus pulled Harry back a little so that he could look at his face in the dim moonlight that filtered through the curtains. 

"Where did your head hurt?"

Harry raised a hand and put it on his forehead, just above his scar, and again started to rub it. Remus drew the small hand back and put his own palm across Harry's forehead. He didn't have fever, and the warmth on his forehead could come from the rubbing.

"Does it still hurt?"

Harry nodded.

"A little. Not much. It kinda stings."

As soon as Remus let go off his head, Harry immediately snuggled closer to him again. Remus realized that the boy was shaking.

"Harry, what is it?"

Moments of silence followed during which Remus carefully sniffed the air in the bedroom. Full moon was close, and with it came the heightening of Remus' senses. Though Harry didn't know it, Remus could smell his emotions just as clearly as if he was looking into his godson's face. Maybe even better. And the overwhelming emotion he smelled right now was fear. The little boy in his arms was literally shaking with fear. Worried, Remus pulled his arms tighter around Harry and waited for him to answer the question. When the answer didn't come, he coaxed again.

"Harry, what is wrong?"

A sniff. Ragged breathing. Was Harry about to start crying? Then finally, Harry spoke again, but rather than answering Remus' question he posed a question of his own.

"Will they come here, too?"

"Who?"

"The bad men." As if it was the most logical thing in the world. Of course the bad men, what else could Harry be talking about?

"Why do you think the bad men would be coming here?"

Harry just shrugged his small shoulders.

"I don't know. They…they said it."

Remus was taken aback and for a moment didn't know what to say. When he finally found his voice again, it didn't sound as firm as he would have wished it to.

"They said they would come here?"

Again, Harry only shrugged his shoulders and buried his face deeper into the fabric of Remus' shirt. 

"Yes…no…not really. The voice said it, the voice who laughed. It said that they would kill all of the mudbloods, and then Dumbledore and his muggle-loving friends. That's what it said."

Harry stumbled over the word mudblood, as it was a word he had never heard before. Remus suddenly sat bold upright in his bed and immediately lit the lamp next to the it. Harry instinctively drew back from him and scooted towards the edge of the mattress. 

"Sorry…I, I really didn't mean to make you angry."

Remus sighed. Another thing he wanted to curse the Dursleys for. Ever since Harry had come to live with him, the boy had been dead frightened to make anybody angry. And even now, after nearly four years of living with Remus, he still apologized whenever he got the feeling that he had disturbed his godfather just a little.

"Harry, you didn't make me angry. Come here."

He gently pulled the small boy towards him again and put him down on the mattress, facing him while he tucked some strands of jet black hair behind the boy's ears in an assuring gesture.

"Remus?"

"Hmm?"  
"What's a mudblood?"

Remus sighed. 

"Mudblood is a bad name for a witch or wizard who is the child of muggles. It's an insult and I never want to hear you call somebody a mudblood, okay?"

Harry nodded.

"You thought that those bad men would come here because we're friends of Dumbledore, didn't you?"

Harry nodded again. Remus sighed.

"Listen, there are some things I want to explain to you, okay?"

"Okay."  
"Alright. You have to know that not all wizards are good people. There are some wizards who believe in things that aren't right, and they also use their magic in the wrong way. Now, before you were born there was one wizard who believed that only those who were born into wizarding families should be allowed to practice magic. He didn't want those who were muggle-born to be taught magic."

Harry looked up.

"Why?"

"Because he thought they were not worth it. He thought they were less magical than the others. That isn't right, it doesn't matter if a wizard's parents are wizards themselves or not. Some of the best wizards have muggle parents. Magic isn't something that depends on blood lines, it doesn't matter where it comes from. It does only matter how it is developed and used, but that wizard didn't believe so. He believed that the so called 'purebloods' were worth more than the muggle-borns or part-muggles. And he found others who believed just the same.

You see, if only this one wizard had thought so, it would not have been dangerous, but the more others believed him, the more dangerous they became. They started to use their magic against those who were muggle born, against those who fought them and even against muggles who didn't have anything to do with our world at all. They started to hurt them and also killed many of them.

But there were others, like Dumbledore, who didn't share those beliefs. And those people started to fight that wizard."

"What was his name?"

Remus looked into Harry's eyes and contemplated whether to tell him. But then again, sooner or later he would have to.

"His name was Voldemort, Harry."

The boy's eyes widened in understanding.

"The one who killed mom and dad?"

Remus nodded.  
"Yes Harry. He killed them because your mom and dad stood up against him. James and Lily didn't believe that blood mattered for wizards, they fought against Voldemort, and that was why he killed them. 

And even though Voldemort fell the night he killed your parents, he's not dead. And even if he was, there are still people out there who believe in the things he said."

Harry nodded.

"But then they will come here, won't they?"  
Remus pulled Harry into a warm embrace again before he continued.

"Harry, it's just been a dream. It hasn't been real, those people in your dream haven't been real. Do you understand?"

Harry nodded against Remus' chest, but then drew back and looked at his godfather with a gaze that was far too grown up for a seven year old boy.

"But you said that those wizards aren't gone. The bad wizards. And if they're not gone, then they will come here because you're not believing in what they say and because you're friends with Dumbledore."

The child's deduction had so much inherent logic that for a moment Remus didn't know whether he should be proud or get frustrated because he didn't have the answers the child obviously wanted.

Remus sighed.

"Harry, people like Dumbledore, your grandpa, your uncle and I stand up against those people because we believe that it's the right thing to do. But we also know that it can be dangerous. That's why we've thought about protection. Nothing can happen to you here, alright? This house is protected so that nobody can come in unless we let them in, that's why I gave you all those rules about what to do when the doorbell rings. Nobody can come here and hurt you or me, absolutely nobody. Those men won't come here, and neither will they come to Janus or grandpa. We're safe, alright?"  
Harry nodded into his shoulder.

"I don't want them to hurt you like they hurt those people in my dream, Remus."

"They won't. I won't let them. And your dream has just been a dream, alright? You can go back to sleep, as long as I'm here nobody will harm you."

Harry nodded, but didn't let go of the embrace. Remus smiled. Normally, Harry knew that he was supposed to sleep in his own bed, the times when he had sneaked next to Remus in the middle of the night were long gone, but this night he would make an exception. Harry needed to be assured that there was nothing about his dream that should scare him now, so he'll let him sleep here tonight. He gently eased the small boy onto the mattress next to him and extinguished the light.

"Comfortable?"  
Harry snuggled closer and nodded.

"Hmm."

Remus smiled and kissed the top of his godson's head.

"Love you, Remus."  
"Love you, too pup. And now sleep. Good night."  
"Night Remus."  
Harry was back to sleep within minutes, the comfort of the embrace and the sound of Remus' heartbeat lulling him into sleep. But Remus stayed awake for quite a long time, thinking the contents of Harry's dream over and over again. Why had the boy dreamed of men in masks that hurt others with their wands? Men in masks who tortured others sounded like Death Eaters, but there had been no Death Eater activities for years now. Harry didn't even know what a Death Eater was, let alone how they looked like. And though Janus sometimes told the boy stories that definitely weren't meant for such young ears to hear, Remus was fairly sure that his brother had not told Harry anything about Death Eaters.

And why had this voice in his dream talked about Dumbledore and his allies? Remus was fairly sure that Harry had not known the word 'mudblood' before he had gone to sleep that night, but how come he had known it now? 

Pondering over and over again where Harry could have heard those things he had dreamed about, Remus found no sleep until it was nearly dawn. By then he had finally convinced himself that Harry's dream truly had only been a dream, that his subconscious had shown him something he must have overheard somewhere. There was nothing behind the dream worth worrying about. The Death Eaters had not acted ever since Voldemort had fallen, and they surely wouldn't start again now.

With this somewhat reassuring thought in his mind, Remus finally closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_To say that Richard had been surprised by his son's sudden will to get custody for Harry would have been like saying that Severus Snape needed to work on his social skills. It would have been an understatement of the bigger sort._

_He had proposed his son to visit Harry to get him out of his depression. Richard had expected that Remus would want to visit the child from time to time, never had he thought that his son would immediately pull out the big guns. But after Remus had told him what he had seen at the Dursleys, Richard had had to agree that this was not the place for Harry to grow up. Not because his relatives were muggles, but because they seemed to detest a not even two year old child because of something he had not chosen to be – a wizard. It was a line of thought Richard couldn't really understand, even his ex-wife Nadine had eventually admitted that having a wizard around also had its good sides._

_Remus had been willing to storm into the Ministry straight away, but Richard had managed to convince him to at least wait until the next morning._

_And that was why he and his son were right now walking pass the outskirts of Hogsmeade, heading for Hogwarts castle. They had agreed that if Albus Dumbledore had been the one deciding to put Harry into his relative's care, then he'd be the one to be told about their plan first. _

_Yes, their plan. During a rather sleepless night, Richard had thought over and over again about Remus' idea, and the more he had contemplated it, the more he had liked it. _

_It would be good to have a child around again, after all Richard didn't think his sons would make him a grandfather anytime soon. Remus wasn't even allowed to have own children by the Ministry Regulations on Lycanthropes, and Janus changed his girlfriends so often that every time Richard had managed to remember the momentary girl's name, one or even two others had already replaced her. _

_And, even more important, having Harry around would surely help Remus cope with everything that had happened in the past months. Already now, after a couple of hours with only the idea to get the guardianship, Remus' condition seemed to have improved a lot. He had slept for a couple of hours straight, had willingly eaten breakfast without complaining not to be hungry, and he had been really eager to leave the house. There seemed to be something he considered worth getting up for, something that overruled the sadness about his friends' death – the will to take care of his godson._

_Richard was glad that some of the life seemed to have returned to his son, he was only concerned that this visit at Hogwarts would snap that little ray of hope again. What if Dumbledore straight away refused to even consider the idea? How would Remus react to that?_

_Richard wished that his son had taken a couple of days more to think about all eventualities, but it had been hard enough to force him to wait for a couple of hours._

_Well, if Remus wanted to go through with it, Richard would be at his side and help him, that much was for sure._

_With a last glance at his son's determined face, Richard opened the front door of the castle and both men stepped in. They made their way up towards Dumbledore's office in silence. Richard had sent an owl to the headmaster in the morning to inform him of their arrival, and he had immediately replied via fireplace to tell them the password. Due to the fact that it was Christmas holiday, not many students were at the castle and they met nobody on their way upstairs. _

_When they reached the gargoyle, Richard gave the password and they climbed up the spiral staircase towards Dumbledore's office._

_As they knocked on the wooden door, Richard shot Remus another glance and realized that his son was chewing on his lower lip. A gesture he only made when he was extremely nervous, Richard knew that. He gave Remus a reassuring smile while from inside the office Dumbledore's voice told them to come in._

_The headmaster's office looked exactly like it had done while Remus had still been at school. With a sad smile he looked around the room, nodding at the portraits of the former headmasters. How often had they been here during his seven years at Hogwarts, he, James, Peter and Sirius, a fuming McGonagall standing next to them because they had once more broken school rules and played pranks on the Slytherins._

_Dumbledore had gotten up from his chair when Richard and Remus entered the room._

_"Richard, Remus, good morning. Please, take a seat. Can I offer you some tea?"_

_Both men nodded and while they sat down in front of Dumbledore's desk, the headmaster rung a small bell and a house elf with a tray of tea appeared. After the elf had gone and everybody had a cup of steaming tea in front of them, Dumbledore smiled at his guests._

_"Now, how can I help you?"_

_Remus exhaled deeply and forced himself to remain calm._

_"I visited Harry yesterday, Professor."_

_Dumbledore nodded and his eyes sparkled a little._

_"Yes Remus, I knew that. We have a monitoring charm on __Privet Drive__ which immediately alerts me in case a wizard enters the street. Precaution, there are still Death Eaters out there who are not too pleased that little Harry has caused their master's downfall. How is the child doing?"_

_"I guess that your monitoring charms don't show you what's going on inside of the house, otherwise you would not ask that question."  
Dumbledore rose an eyebrow._

_"Is something wrong with Harry?"_

_"Other than that he is neglected and not given any comfort or affection at all, he's holding up fine."_

_There was a sharp edge to Remus' words which the old wizard didn't miss._

_"What do you mean with neglected, Remus?"  
"Professor, those aren't the right people to raise a child like Harry. They resent him for what he is and treat him as if he was just a burden, an inconvenience. He's got no toys, nobody spends time with him, he's sitting alone in his playpen for the entire day as far as I could judge."_

_Dumbledore shook his head._

_"Remus, I explained Harry's relatives everything in a letter I left with Harry. I'm sure they understand the situation and only need some time to adjust to having another little child around."_

_"No Professor, they don't. Absolutely not. I never really believed Lily that her sister was as bad as she told us, but I've seen it. Harry is just sitting around passively while his cousin is being spoiled in front of his eyes."_

_"Harry is old enough to realize that his parents are gone. He too might need more time to accept his new environment, it's only natural that he's somewhat subdued now."_

_Remus jumped out of his chair and started pacing in front of the window. Richard was fairly sure that his son didn't even realize what he was doing. Full moon was in two days, Remus' mind must already be a turmoil of man fighting wolf. Maybe it would have been better to delay this conversation until after the transformation, he didn't even dare to think what the full moon night would be like if Dumbledore denied Remus' wish to take Harry in himself._

_"Professor, surely you remember the way Harry was before all this happened. Cheerful, active, never sitting still and never stopping to babble. That's been two months ago. Now he's a quiet and shy little boy who didn't even dare to open up the presents I brought him because he was told he didn't earn presents. _

_Sure, Harry misses his parents, and terribly so, but that's not all there is. And I'm not talking about whether Petunia and her husband give him toys to play with, I'm talking about emotional comfort. Especially with his parents gone, Harry now needs people who care for him. People who spend time with him, who show him some affection, show him that he's loved. With his relatives, he gets none of that. _

_Petunia has already convinced him that he's a freak, that he has to be treated differently than their own son, just because they don't understand anything about our world. Because they don't want to understand._

_Professor, you've written them a letter, but I've talked to Petunia. And it hadn't taken much more of that rubbish she's been talking for me to hex her into oblivion. She'll never understand Harry, and if he grows up there the boy will be scarred for life._

_Writing letters won't help here, even talking to them won't help. Harry can't grow up in a house like that, not if I have a say in it. James and Lily would have never wanted their son to live with Petunia, never. I can't let that happen."_

_Remus dropped back into his chair and took up his cup of tea. Richard noticed that his son's hands were shaking. This was the moment he had been dreading, Remus had told Dumbledore what he knew about Harry's current state and now it was up to the older wizard to decide over the boy's future. And his son's state of mind as Richard feared._

_For some long minutes, Dumbledore looked at Remus from intense blue eyes, his face not showing what was going on inside of his head. Finally, he spoke._

_"What do you suggest we should do about it, Remus? Even if I'd agree to take Harry out of his relative's care, which is not my decision alone to make, Harry has no other relatives and his appointed guardian is in Azkaban."_

_Though Dumbledore didn't mention Sirius' name, Remus flinched. But he met his former headmaster's gaze steadily._

_"I want custody for Harry. I want him to grow up with me."_

_Richard looked at the headmaster, but Dumbledore's face didn't change at all when he heard those words. Again, the old wizard's gaze rested on Remus' face and with a touch of fatherly pride Richard noticed that Remus met the gaze calmly, his concern for Harry's wellbeing as well as his determination to offer Harry a better home showing clearly on his face._

_Richard didn't know whether it was a battle of wills happening between Remus and Dumbledore in which each of them refused to be the first to look away, or if Dumbledore was trying to read Remus' mind. He didn't doubt that the headmaster could look through people's facades far better than he let anybody know. Never letting go of the eye contact, Dumbledore spoke again._

_"Remus, do you have any idea what having custody for Harry Potter implies?"_

_Remus only nodded._

_"First of all it implies raising a child. I know that I'm not the most experienced person in that department, but all the experience I have, I have gained with Harry. The child knows me, he likes me. And I love him. That's already more than he has where he is right now. _

_I'm perfectly aware of the responsibilities that come along with raising a child, and I know that it'll be difficult sometimes. I've already experienced how troublesome Harry can be when he's not in a good mood, I think I can manage. No, I know I can manage._

_But I guess that was not what you wanted to know. _

_Yes, I know that Harry is not just any child, I know that he's 'famous' and that you surely decided to let him grow up in the muggle world so that this fame doesn't get into his head. And while I don't doubt your decision, I think I'll be able to let him grow up as a wizard without spoiling him with his fame. He's Harry to me, not the Boy Who Lived._

_And before you ask, yes I also know that he's still in danger. Voldemort might not be gone for good, and not all the Death Eaters are in Azkaban where they belong. I know he has to be protected, and I'll do anything to provide him with that protection. At whatever personal risk. _

_To be bluntly honest Professor, I don't have anything to lose. Ever since James, Lily and Peter have died, there's a gap in my life that cannot be filled again. Without a task, without something that's worth getting up for, I don't know why I should go on. And I didn't see anything that could take up that role until I visited Harry. _

_Harry needs somebody to care for him just as much as I need some reason to go on, something that makes it worth going through all this pain that is my life right now. I need Harry, just like he needs me, and I'm willing to take all the risks that come along with getting custody for him."_

_Dumbledore absent-mindly scratched his beard._

_"You know that it will be far more difficult to convince the Ministry of this than it has been to convince me."_

_Remus took some moments to let that information settle. Had Dumbledore just said what he thought? Had he just said that he had convinced him?_

_A small smile spread across the headmaster's face._

_"Remus, I don't doubt your abilities to raise young Harry. That is not the point of my concern. One of the reasons why I insisted on Harry being brought up by his relatives is that they can provide him with a protection nobody else can. Blood relations offer the basis for ancient protective magic that is hard to break. With you, Harry would never be as safe as he is with them, and if he really lived with you, protection spells would be needed that limit and interfere strongly with everyday life."_

_Remus nodded._

_"I'm willing to accept that."_

_"Then there is your lycanthropy."_

_This time, it was Richard who interrupted._

_"I'd be more than willing to help out there. Harry would remain with me, and Remus would transform at my house, not even anywhere near him. Harry would be safe from the wolf and still under the protection of a fully qualified wizard. We only have to convince the Ministry that there is no danger from Remus' lycanthropy during the rest of the month."_

_Dumbledore nodded slowly._

_"The biggest problem is that you're not Harry's official guardian, Remus. There is no legal paper stating you as his custodian. Werewolves aren't allowed custody over children, that's Ministry policy. It'll be hard work to find a reason why they should go around that law, especially since it's Harry Potter you want to have custody for."_

_Remus bit his lower lip again, this time not so much out of nervousness but rather because he was thinking._

_"Every law has its loopholes, and I'll find it."  
Richard knew that his son was determined to do just that, but he had his doubts. Remus was highly intelligent, but neither was he a lawyer nor did he know anything about Ministry procedures. Remus would not let go, that much was for sure, but until he would finally find the solution, Harry would be old enough to graduate. _

_But Richard knew somebody who could be of help. Unfortunately, there was probably no person on this planet who'd be less willing to help Remus out at the moment. But Richard was more than willing to rip open some freshly healed wounds if it helped Remus._

_'You're doing it again.'_

_Richard was glad when Dumbledore interrupted the nagging little voice in his head._

_"Gentlemen, we need a plan."_

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Excerpt from the Ministry regulations concerning case A14022/XD1982:

Case of Guardianship for Harry James Potter; Custody given to Remus J. Lupin on October 16th, 1982 under the following restrictions:

[…]

**§ 3: Due to Remus J. Lupin's lycanthropy, it is hereby designated that at the day of full moon, Remus J. Lupin has to leave the child's side at least six hours before moonrise and does not return close to the child Harry Potter until at least six hours after moonset.**

**§ 3a: During the full moon nights, a distance of at least forty miles has to remain between Remus J. **

Lupin and the child Harry Potter. 

The child Harry Potter has to remain in one of the protected areas during the full moon nights, 

furthermore he has to remain under the supervision of at least one fully qualified wizard during that

time. For listings of the protected areas see appendix 4, § 7.

There are no exceptional cases of emergency during which §3 and §3a don't apply.

**§ 4: To provide maximum security during full moon nights, the lycanthropic Remus J. Lupin has to **

agree to participate in the testing program for the recently developed Wolfsbane Potion.

For medical elaboration of that project see appendix 9. The medical risks of that program are not 

carried by the Ministry of Magic, but by the participant of the program himself.

[…]

Please note that any violation of the above restrictions will immediately lead to investigation and re-evaluation of the Case of Guardianship.

Signed:

Cornelius S. Fudge, Minister of Magic

London, October 19th, 1982.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

A loud rumpling sound echoed through Remus Lupin's house early in the afternoon. Harry was upstairs in his room, sulking because Remus had not allowed him to go out and fly in the summer rain that had been pouring down ever since early morning.

Remus was in the study, leafing through a catalogue on French defence literature of the past twenty years when the commotion from the fireplace drew his attention. Immediately, he hurried into the living room and had to suppress a grin when he heard his brother's voice from the fireside.

"I know exactly that you're standing out there, grinning your head off. You'd better let me in Remus, or I'll personally practice some transfiguration on you, do you hear me?"

The grin now spread fully across Remus' face.

"Name please?"

"You bloody well know my name, now let me in, it's not exactly comfortable here!"

"Name please."  
The next thing Remus heard was a string of very colourful curses that would have made any sailor blush in embarrassment.

"Janus Lupin. There, happy now? Now, give the password and let me in before I get completely pissed off instead of only very angry!"

Remus sat back in an armchair and smirked smugly. That little game was fun, why not embarrass his brother a little more.

"I'm afraid I need your full name to guarantee that you're really my brother. After all, anybody could come and state he was Janus Lupin."

A moment of stunned silence followed during which Remus thoroughly enjoyed imagining Janus' face right now. His brother positively detested his middle name.

"Remus, I'm warning you one last time…"

"Oh, the way I see it you don't have any other choice, given the fact that you're stuck in my fireplace and have no way to come out until you give me your full name."

More cursing. Oh, Janus definitely wasn't in his best mood today.

"Janus Frederick Lupin. And now give me that blasted password and pray that I'll let you live once I get out of here."

The fun wasn't over yet.

"Okay, okay. Password is: Paris Panthers beat the Dublin Dragons anytime, anywhere."

Stunned silence was all that followed from the fireplace. After a moment, Janus seemed to have collected himself again.

"You want me to repeat THAT?"

"If you don't want to spend the rest of your days in there, yes."

This time the curses contained comments about Remus' state of mind and the suspicion that he had been found in the woods as a baby. Obviously, Janus didn't want to believe that he was really related to the man who had by now successfully kept him locked in the fireplace for about ten minutes.

"Paris Panthers beat the Dublin Dragons anytime, anywhere"

It was hardly more than an incoherent mumble, but the flames in the fireplace turned green to reveal a thoroughly pissed off Janus Lupin.

Remus was by now laughing so hard that he had to grip the sides of the armchair to steady himself. His laughter didn't even subside as his brother raised his wand threateningly at him.

"You…you…"

Remus laughed even harder. The great Janus Lupin at a loss for words, this image would provide him with many happy hours in the future. After some long moments, Remus regained his composure.

"Put that wand away, you might accidentally hurt somebody."

Janus glared at him.

"If I hurt somebody, it won't be accidentally, that much you can believe me." But nevertheless, Janus pocketed his wand again and sat down in an armchair across from Remus.

"Infantile prat. Anything I should know before you leave?"

Remus shrugged his shoulders.

"Not really. Harry is upstairs, pouting because I didn't let him fly in that weather. And before you even think about it, there will be no 'Remus isn't here to forbid it, so why don't you go flying a little', do you understand? The last thing I need now is that Harry gets sick."

"Alright, if you want to take all the fun out of the boy's life…"  
"Janus."

Janus raised his hands in a calming gesture.

"Alright, alright. Got the message. No flying today for the little one."

Remus nodded.

"Thank you. Oh, and keep your ears open tonight, Harry has had strange nightmares lately."

Janus raised an eyebrow.

"Why 'strange' nightmares?"

Remus shrugged.

"Well, the night after his birthday he came into my room, completely disturbed. He said something about 'bad men in masks' torturing others with their wands, talking about killing mudbloods and Dumbledore's allies. Sounded nearly like a Death Eater attack what he was describing there. He was pretty worn out by it and refused to go back into his own bed, he was afraid that the bad men would come to our house as well.

The night after that was alright, but last night he came again. This time he didn't tell me, but I guess it was the same nightmare. If he has those dreams again I'll have to do something about it. By the way, do you have any idea how he came to know words like 'mudblood', and also knew what a Death Eater looks like?"  
Remus raised an eyebrow in his own, unique way of accusation but Janus only shook his head.

"I swear I never told the child about Death Eaters or taught him such words. He must have heard it somewhere else.

Did you take your potion?"  
Noticing his brother's sudden change of topic, Remus gave him a quizzical look but nodded.

"Yes, awful as ever. I swear, whoever decided that Snape should brew that potion for me really wishes me no good. I bet that slimy git makes it taste extra-awful for me."

He checked the clock on the mantelpiece.

"Better say goodbye to the pup and then floo over to dad. The Ministry always gets itchy when I'm only a minute late."

Remus went upstairs and found Harry in his room, still lying on the bed and sulking. With a sigh, he stepped closer.

"Harry? I have to leave in a couple of minutes. Don't you want to say goodbye?"

Not turning around, Harry shook his head. Blasted Potter-stubbornness. Remus sat down on the edge of the mattress and coaxed the boy to look into his eyes.

"You can practice flying as soon as the weather is better. But I don't want to go knowing that you're sulking here because of something like that. I promise that as soon as I'm fine again I'll fly with you."

That promise made Harry raise a curious eyebrow. Seeing Remus on a broom always promised fun. His godfather definitely wasn't made for flying.   
Remus fondly smiled down on him and Harry smiled back.

"Bye Harry. I'll see you tomorrow, and don't tease your poor uncle too much, alright?"

Harry nodded.

"Bye Remus."

A quick hug and the promise from Harry to go straight to Janus in case his nightmares returned later Remus left the room and went downstairs again. Janus was sitting in the living room, bent over today's copy of the Daily Prophet.

"I'll leave now. Thanks for taking care of Harry."  
"No problem. I just hope you didn't leave him in an awful mood for me to deal with."

Remus smiled and shook his head.

"It should be better in no time. He's just angry that he didn't get his will. See you tomorrow at noon."

"Yeah, take care."

A little surprised by his brother's statement of concern, Remus nodded, grabbed the floo powder and vanished in the fireplace. Not without flashing his brother another grin as he once more repeated the password to the fireplace.

After Remus was gone, Janus sank back into the armchair, burying his head in his hands.

He had not wanted to tell Remus about it, experience had taught him that it wasn't advisable to upset him shortly before a transformation, but Janus had serious doubts that Harry's dreams were nothing but mere nightmares. It couldn't be coincidence. 

But Harry also couldn't know about it, because it was 'classified information', meaning the Ministry guarded it in an attempt to hush it up as long as possible. Janus himself only knew because he and his partner had been the ones to investigate the crime scenes, and even if he had wanted to tell Remus he wasn't allowed to.

During the last week, the Ministry had been alerted twice because of strange attacks. Thursday night, the night after Harry's birthday, the family of a muggle-born witch had been attacked and killed. Brutally. And last night, Janus had been called to the house of a mixed wizard and muggle family near London. Five people in the house, all dead. Killing Curse, after excessive Cruciatus torture.

Harry had nightmares twice, and exactly during those nights wizarding families got killed. Harry dreamed about hooded men in masks when the Dark Mark was floating in the sky again. The Ministry was trying to cover up those incidents because they didn't want to believe it was really happening. They were still searching for another explanation where there was none. 

None except that the Death Eaters were back. 

And Janus didn't really want to think about what that could possibly mean.


	4. Crisis

Alright, here you go with chapter 4! I guess I had a flash of writer's kriebels. That's Dutch and from what I've learned from Eva it basically means that I started writing a little and after some hours found myself with a new chapter. I guess you won't complain… 

Thanks to everybody who reviewed, I'm doing my very best to live up to your expectations.

Gold Stars for those who find my little hint in this chapter…*g* I won't tell what it hints to, but there's something that is supposed to strike you a little, and it'll be of some importance later on.

A/N for the week:

**A.Dee: Thank you. And don't write reviews if you risk getting yelled at, I'm not that impatient. *g***

Okay, you're back. Somebody here doesn't particularly like Janus, am I right? I LOVE him. *g*. But then again, I invented him. And there'll be more he'll be hiding from his little brother later on. After all, it could cost him his job, and that's really important to him…

Yepp, Harry and Remus positively love each other. The little one has earned it after all he's going through in canon. Just like Remus.

**anon: It won't stay as peaceful as it is now, that much I can promise. The story hasn't even started yet.**

**Gabriela: I do my very best, but inspiration can be a little bitchy sometimes. But one post per week should be the minimum.**

**Eva: Hope you like this chapter. I definitely had this kriebels thing again. *g* Things start moving now, I hope it doesn't get confusing.**

**sarahpeach**: Yepp, the dreams are true. Writing Remus and Harry is actually a lot of fun (though not nearly as much fun as writing Janus…). I thought pup fitted, first I wanted to take cub (that's a young wolf as far as I know), but then I decided that pup would be better. I kinda like it, at least it's better than 'Rory'. I still don't get over that! Glad you liked it.

The scene with Harry asking for a dog will come some time later, I don't know yet when. But it'll be in, I promise.

Yepp, Sirius is going to come into this story, and that quite soon. I guess you'll know why after you read this chapter. But I don't know whether you really should look forward to it.

**tinytoonyloonyme**: Funny name, LOL! Thank you very much! And no, I definitely didn't take it as a flame, don't worry. I'm always open for suggestions and corrections. I'm not a native speaker, I'm German, and my English comes from various sources, British as well as American. I guess that's why I got 'mum' and 'mom' confused, but now that I know which is which I'll pay more attention. Thanks for the hint.

And at the moment I don't think I'll get a writer's block, the outline of the story is finished and more and more small ideas come popping up in my mind. So I wouldn't worry here…*g*

**Bookworm2000: Yepp, working in a bookstore has its advantages. I'm probably getting it earlier, and I'm definitely getting it 30% cheaper. Now there's a reason to go to work every week…**

And yes, the story will escalate in a few chapters. You're right.

**Melissa Lupin: Thank you!**

**Wittch**** Way**: I hope it'll keep interesting for you…

**Leonie: Hi, Du bist zurück! Freut mich, dass Dir die Story gefällt, sie macht echt Spaß zu schreiben. Besonders Remus, Harry und Janus, die drei sind einfach toll miteinander agieren zu lassen. Hier hast du das neue chapter, und wie immer ist es viel länger geworden als ich es eigentlich geplant hatte. Das schreibt sich hier quasi von allein, hat nur vier Stunden gedauert. **

**Nagini: THANK YOU! Do you mean you've been searching for a 'Remus raises Harry' fic for so long? Because that's exactly the reason why I wrote this – I couldn't find one either. I hope it won't disappoint you!**

**Jade S: Thank you. Yes, I agree, Remus as a father figure is just incredibly cute. He can be overprotective, it'll show later when Harry…oh, you'll see in some later chapters. *g* I'm still a little scared about writing young Harry, but so far nobody has complained that he's not like a seven year old, so I guess it's okay. Of course he had to be pouting, after all he's just a normal kid and Remus doesn't allow him just anything. He's a responsible adult. *g***

Oh, and you get the crucial problem about Janus not telling Remus anything about the attacks. Upset will definitely happen, but there'll be even more to it than just keeping the facts from his little bro. You'll see…*g*

I'm so glad you like Janus. He's the first main character that I invented, and I had hoped that he would be credible. You're right, their relationship, though it appears to be fine at present, isn't perfect. They have issues from the past, and emotionally they're walking on very thin ice. I have an older brother, I know what it can be like…*g*

Sirius is definitely going to be in this, just wait. You'll know more after this chapter. But be prepared, everything is possible. Favourite's list? My, thank you! You won't see all of Remus vs. Ministry, but there'll be a couple of flashbacks to it. I hope I can live up to your high expectations, but I'm really, really glad that you like my fic so much!

That's it folks, all that's left to say for me is:

Enjoy!

**Crisis**

_Albus Dumbledore leaned back into his chair with a sigh. Absent-mindly he ran a hand through his long white beard while his other hand petted Fawkes the phoenix. After Remus and Richard Lupin had left, the bird had sensed his friend's distress and had flown next to him onto the headmaster's desk._

_Dumbledore had been very concerned about Remus after he had gained the news of the deaths and Sirius' betrayal, he had known how strong the bond between the friends had been. The death of three close friends was always a hard blow, no matter for whom, but in this case the deaths had been caused by the betrayal of another. The betrayal of somebody whom Remus had considered a friend as well._

_The news that Remus had nearly not survived the first full moon night after Halloween had not come unexpected, yet Dumbledore had known that this was something only Remus could help. There was no way to soothe the wolf's rage other than by his host's mind. And Remus' mind had been far from emotionally calm ever since his friends had died._

_But today, only an hour ago, a completely different Remus had sat in front of his desk. A collected young man who had, despite the little time that had passed since his visit at Harry's place, seemed to have spent a lot of serious thoughts on the matter of guardianship. Remus had appeared to be calm, at least on the outside, and most of all he had seemed determined to do anything to achieve his goal. It seemed that true to his words, he had found something he deemed worth living for again. _

_Albus Dumbledore sighed._

_If only it was something easier than to gain than custody for Harry._

_After Voldemort's downfall, nobody had doubted Dumbledore's decision to leave Harry with his relatives. Truly, Minerva had uttered her concern about the muggle relatives of Harry, but nobody who really had the power to overrule Dumbledore's decision had shown any interest to do so. The Ministry had been at an uproar, Aurors and Unspeakables desperately trying to get the situation back under control, to catch the last of Voldemort's supporters while at the same time trying to hinder their own people from exposing their existence to the muggles by careless celebrations._

_Minister Fudge, newly elected only a couple of months earlier and hopelessly overtaxed by the situation, had completely relied on the judgement of his advisors and had merely nodded when Dumbledore had told him where Harry had been brought to._

_Had he really made a mistake by leaving Harry with his relatives?_

_Minerva had told him that they were 'muggles of the worst kind', but then again the deputy headmistress had been under a lot of stress during the previous days and Dumbledore himself had not had the nerves to listen to her doubts._

_Minerva might not have realized it, but that Halloween night had brought the older wizard close to his emotional limits as well._

_And when Hagrid had finally arrived, a fairly distressed little baby in his arms, it had been the most natural decision to leave him in the care of a family who had a small child of their own._

_They had waited until Harry had calmed down, the long journey from Godric's Hollow via portkey and floo-powder had upset him without ends, and then they had left him with the Dursleys._

_Albus Dumbledore had truly believed that his letter would explain everything._

_But he didn't doubt Remus' words, the young werewolf had never been one to over-exaggerate things. If Harry really was neglected by his relatives, then they needed to take him out there before the neglect might turn into abuse one day._

_And with Remus as a guardian the child would definitely grow up close to the memory of his deceased parents than with his aunt and uncle anyway._

_The problem was that, other than when Harry had been brought to his relatives, taking him away from them again was not all that easy._

_There was for one the matter of protection. Dumbledore knew that the Ministry would not be too keen on protecting Harry from the Death Eaters and Voldemort, they believed the Dark Lord to be gone for good. Nothing Dumbledore had said had been able to convince Fudge otherwise, but if Harry really left his relatives' household protection would be a serious matter._

_Remus would have to take up his job at the university again, without a secure financial background he would not have a chance to get the custody._

_But that was not the biggest problem._

_If Remus was no werewolf, then Dumbledore had no doubt he's eventually gain custody over Harry, no matter that he had not been appointed his legal guardian by Harry's parents._

_But it was a fact that Remus Lupin was a werewolf, and that made matters slightly more difficult. The Ministry guidelines stated quite clearly that werewolves weren't allowed to have children on their own as well as they were denied permission to adopt children. The first regulation resulted out of the fear that lycanthropy might spread via the bloodline, the second was in Dumbledore's opinion nothing but harassment. But that was the law and if he wanted to help Remus then it was necessary that they discovered the loophole in this law. It had to be somewhere. _

_And, judging from the distant expression in Richard's eyes, Remus' father already had an idea whom he would ask for help. Dumbledore had seen him hesitate slightly, and if Dumbledore's guess was right it would definitely be difficult to convince that person to help Remus. But it was worth a try._

_Albus Dumbledore got up from his chair and walked over towards the fireplace in his office. Time to pay some old friends at the Ministry a visit, he decided._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Janus was just setting the breakfast table when the doorbell rang.

The previous night had been fairly uneventful. Upon Remus' suggestion, Janus had checked on Harry a couple of times after the boy had gone to bed, but there had been no indication that his nightmares had returned. Not that this helped anything to ease Janus' mind, not in the least. The strange similarities between Harry's dreams and the attacks that had taken place had kept him from sleeping himself for nearly the entire night. It was too close to be coincident, but then again Janus didn't know what exactly he could do about it anyway.

Harry definitely wasn't a seer, that much was for sure. Seeing abilities showed quite early in the development of a child, Harry would be the first seer to show them at the age of seven and never before. But if it wasn't this, what else could cause the boy to dream about attacks that really took place? 

Janus had not dared to ask Harry about his dreams directly, he would ask Remus for more details later and then he would talk to Lucas when he returned to the Ministry. His partner for now nearly eight years probably knew him better than anybody else in the world, and Lucas definitely wouldn't laugh about him or question his sanity when he brought up a connection between the dreams of a child and Death Eater attacks. And Lucas had seen the attack sides himself, and though the Ministry was still trying to cover it all up, the two Unspeakables shared the belief that there was no other explanation for them than Death Eater activities. He could trust Lucas with an idea like this, and if his partner was convinced that there was something behind it, then they could look for a solution together.

This somewhat easing thought had only come when dawn had been close, and so Janus had not been able to gather much sleep during the night. Nevertheless he had forced himself to get up at half past seven, he had no intention to keep on sleeping while Harry was causing havoc in the house. The child was always up early and he had an energy level with which it was hard to keep up.

But Janus wasn't in a cheerful mood that morning, and the unexpected ringing of the doorbell didn't improve this.

Slightly intrigued by the question who would be able to approach the door without setting off the alarms, Janus made his way into the front hall. 

There were various wards around Remus' house that set off an alarm if anybody approached it closer than five hundred metres. There were only few people whom the wards recognized and those people were so close to the family that they entered without ringing the doorbell.

Janus drew his wand and kept it firmly in his right hand while he stepped beside the door. At that moment, the bell rang again.

"Who is there?"

"Aurelia Sanders, Ministry of Magic, Department of Family Regulations and Social Affairs. I'm here for the check up visit."

Janus frowned. He knew that the Ministry performed regular checkups on custody cases, and on Remus' case especially, but as far as he knew those check ups were preceded by a notification. Why had there not been any notification that there would be a check up today? This was strange.

"I need a confirmation of your identity, please."

"Sure."

A moment later, an identity card materialized on the small table next to the door. Janus picked up the card and had a closer look at it. It looked like an official Ministry identification card which confirmed the information the woman in front of the door had given. 

Janus took his wand and waved it across the card, saying the incarnation of a revealing charm. The letters on the ID wavered a little and after a moment the official Ministry of Magic authenticity seal appeared. Janus sighed and nodded, the ID was not faked.

His wand still in his hand, he opened the front door to reveal an elderly witch of maybe fifty years who smiled at him politely. It seemed that she didn't mind his delay in opening the door at all. 

Janus checked he face with the photo on the ID and then handed the small card back to her. His eyes never left the ID and he was only completely convinced of her identity when she took it and put it back into her pocked without anything happening. Had the woman been somebody else disguised as Aurelia Sanders, the ID would have changed its colour upon her touch. 

Janus inwardly smiled. Sometimes the Ministry was too paranoid for its own good, but today he didn't really mind.

He looked up at the woman who had noted what he had been doing and gave him a look Janus couldn't quite place right now. She looked almost content with his distrust for her.

"Good Morning Mrs. Sanders. I apologize for my mistrust, but I'm afraid it was necessary."

The older witch only smiled.

"Don't apologize for being careful. My employers probably would have wanted me to hex the door open after a minute, but from everything Remus has told me I understand his concern about security measures. But now that my identity is confirmed, would you mind telling me who exactly you are and in what relation you stand to Mr. Lupin?"

"Of course. I'm Janus Lupin, Remus Lupin's older brother. I'm taking care of Harry until Remus comes back."

Mrs. Sanders opened a folder she had been holding under her arm, took out a sheet of parchment and checked something. Then she nodded.

"That would be Janus Frederick Lupin, born May 19th 1956 in Egerton, Kent?"

Janus grimaced as he was for the second time in twenty four hours reminded of his hated middle-name, but nodded.

"Correct. But I'd be pleased if you could leave that 'Frederick' part out in the future. Why don't you come in?"

Mrs. Sanders wrote something onto the parchment and then allowed Janus to gesture her into the house and then further into the kitchen. She sat down at the table.

"Can I offer you a cup of tea?"

"Yes, thank you very much."

Janus put a cup of tea in front of her, then sat down on the other side of the table and gave the caseworker a quizzical look.

"Mrs. Sanders, as far as I know the regular check ups are notified days ahead. How come that you are here now, I have not been informed that a check up would take place today."

Mrs. Sanders smiled and took a sip of her tea.

"You don't know about the irregular check ups?"

Seeing Janus' puzzled expression, she laughed shortly.

"Usually, those aren't supposed to take place in cases of adoption or guardianship unless there is reason to believe that the child is neglected or abused."

"Wait, wait, wait. You don't want to tell me that anybody suspects Remus of mistreating Harry? How can you believe that, that's stupid. He positively adores the child!"

Mrs. Sanders rose her hand in a calming gesture.

"I didn't say that, Mr. Lupin. You just didn't let me finish. Nobody suspects Remus of mistreating Harry. The Ministry merely saw fit to perform irregular check ups on this household because of his lycanthropy. They've been taking place ever since Harry has come here, I'm surprised that you don't know about them.

As you might know, Remus' case has been the first case in more than hundred years in which a werewolf has been given custody for a child. They've been quite worried that something out of the ordinary might happen, and that puts it mildly.

So, once every two months, I come here without previous notification to see if things are going alright. In other words, I fill out my forms and then spend an hour or two drinking tea with your brother."

Mrs. Sanders laughed heartily, then her expression sobered and she looked at him from deep brown eyes. The look in her eyes only underlined the honesty in her voice.

"Mr. Lupin, I know your brother for nearly four years now. I know perfectly well that he treats Harry alright, that he would never harm him and that he poses no threat to him as long as he's not here during full moon. But the Ministry won't let go of the idea that those check ups are necessary, so they keep on sending me here."

She shrugged her shoulders.

"And to be bluntly honest, I have no problem getting paid for drinking tea with such a charming young man as your brother is one. It's rather refreshing, compared to what I get to see in other households.

By the way, where is Remus?"

Now it was Janus' turn to raise a puzzled eyebrow.

"Why Mrs. Sanders, it's been full moon last night. Surely you know that?"

Aurelia Sanders flipped open her notebook, leafed through the pages and hit her forehead with the palm of her hand.

"My, I think I'm slowly getting old. Full moon, I should have known that. Well, all the better. Then I can call this visit an 'exceptional case investigation', seeing as I controlled the arrangements during Remus' absence. That should spare him another of those visits for the next couple of months."

She shot Janus a grin, eyes sparkling mischievously. It made her face look years younger.

"And where is the charming young man who is the reason for all this?"

Janus took a sip of his tea and grimaced.

"He should be still in his room. The little monster has been sulking all evening, because Remus forbid him to go flying in the rain. And I had to deal with the consequences…

But he should be up soon, I was just about making breakfast when you came. Do you want to join us?"

Mrs. Sanders shook her head.

"No thank you, I'll stick with my tea. I've already had breakfast before I came here. And I won't be bothering you for too long, so don't worry about me."

Janus was just about to get upstairs to wake Harry when the sound of a hippogriff herd came thrashing down the stairs. He turned to Mrs. Sanders and grimaced once more.

"It seems the little bundle of joy has finally decided to get up."

Moments later, Harry came into the kitchen, still in his pyjamas and with his trademark unruly hair. He flashed his uncle a grin and then noticed the second person in the kitchen.

"Miss Aurelia! What are you doing here?"

"Good morning to you, Harry. I thought I'd drop by and say hello."

Harry nodded and sat down on his chair.

"But Remus is not here, he's with grandpa."

Mrs. Sanders nodded.

"So I've been told. But that's no reason why I shouldn't come and visit you Harry, don't you think?"

Harry cocked his head and smiled shyly. 

"Now, what have you been up to since I visited last? Did you have a nice birthday?"  
Harry's face brightened up immediately.

"Oh, it was great! We've been in London all day Miss Aurelia. In muggle London! And we've been to the zoo, and had a picnic, and we've been going with this underground-thing the muggles use. And I got lots and loads of presents!"

Mrs. Sanders smiled while Janus had to suppress his laughter at Harry's constant use of the name 'Miss Aurelia'.

"You liked your presents?"

Harry nodded feverishly. 

"I got a broom, Miss Aurelia. A real broom, all for myself! And I'll be learning how to fly, and to play Quidditch. In a team, because Remus said he'd get a stroke if Uncle Janus taught me."

His small face suddenly frowned in confusion and he turned to Janus.

"Uncle Janus, what is a stroke?"

Mrs. Sanders laughed at Janus' lost face. How on earth should he explain that to the small boy?

"Harry, Remus just wanted to say that he didn't want me to teach you. He would be too concerned for you if I taught you."

"Why?"

Janus laughed.

"Because, little one, because your godfather thinks that my flying is a little too risky, especially for such a small boy like you."

Harry put his hands on his hips in protest.

"I'm not a small boy! I'm already seven, and I'll be eight soon!"

Janus raised his hands in defeat.

"Alright, alright. Nearly eight years old, how could I have forgotten that? And now eat your breakfast before the cereal gets all mushy."

"May I show Miss Aurelia my broom, Uncle Janus? May I?"

The older man fondly smiled down at the little boy. Harry had put up his best 'lost puppy' expression, fully well knowing that it nearly always worked to get him what he wanted. Janus ruffled Harry's hair affectionately.

"If Mrs. Sanders had enough time to wait until you've finished your breakfast, cleaned yourself up, brushed your teeth and gotten dressed then yes, you may show her your broom."

His green-brown eyes suddenly sparkled mischievously.

"And as it doesn't rain anymore, maybe I'll let you fly around a little. Would be a shame not to let you fly properly before that flying teacher drills all those lessons into you. But only if you finally start eating your breakfast."

It is unnecessary to mention that Harry's bowl of cereal and his glass of pumpkin juice were empty in record time.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Excerpt from the Ministry regulations concerning case A14022/XD1982:

Case of Guardianship for Harry James Potter; Custody given to Remus J. Lupin on October 16th, 1982 under the following restrictions:

[…]

§ 15: As it is common in all cases of guardianship, the Ministry of Magic, Department of Family Regulation and Social Affairs will perform monthly check-ups on the household of the guardian and the child in question.

Caseworkers will be controlling the living arrangements and the treatment of the child in question.

Notifications of those control visits will be delivered up to three days prior. 

In case that the custodian cannot keep the appointed date, notification explaining the reasons has to be sent to the caseworker not less than twenty four hours before the appointed date.

§ 15a: In addition to he monthly control visits, the Ministry of Magic, Department of Family Regulation and Social Affairs reserve the right to perform check-up visits in irregular intervals that follow the same purpose than those described in §15. 

Those visits will not be notified beforehand.

[…]

Please note that any violation of the above restrictions will immediately lead to investigation and re-evaluation of the Case of Guardianship.

Signed:

Cornelius S. Fudge, Minister of Magic

London, October 19th, 1982.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_With much hesitation, Richard Lupin eventually rung the doorbell of the flat he stood in front of.__ For the last twenty minutes, he had been standing in the hallway of the apartment-house, debating over and over again whether or not to do what he had come here for._

_It would not be easy to convince him, that much Richard was aware of. But he also knew that without his help, Remus' case would be far more difficult to bring through in front of the Ministry. _

_If there was anybody Richard knew who was aware of intern Ministry procedures and the weaknesses in their restrictions, if there was anybody who knew the right people to ask for help and the right strings to pull, then it was him._

_Again, Richard was dimly aware of the little nagging voice inside of his head, the voice that told him how he was about to once more put the wellbeing of his younger son over the one of his eldest, but he could not help it. After all, he had only come here to ask for help, the final decision, the decision that could very well cost him his job if he wasn't careful enough, would be up to the other himself._

_So Richard eventually stuck out his arm and rung the doorbell. He head voices talking behind the door, then approaching footsteps and moments later a young, ginger haired woman was standing in front of him. Richard tried to remember the name of the woman of the week, but no matter how hard he searched, he could not recall it. Then again it most probably wasn't still the same woman that had been Janus' girlfriend by the time he had last seen his son._

_"Yes?"_

_"Good morning. I'm Richard Lupin. Is my son at home?"_

_The woman nodded and opened the door a little further. Richard took this as an invitation to step into the flat, so he did. The woman closed the door behind him and as Richard looked around, Janus stepped out of the kitchen._

_"Baby, who's…?"  
When he saw his father, his face immediately hardened. He had not forgotten their last encounter a couple of weeks ago and whatever reason Richard had come here for, it better be a good one._

_Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Janus leaned against the doorframe._

_"What do you want?"_

_Had his bearing not already carried the message that he was not overjoyed to see his father again, his voice would have completed the job. It was completely drained of emotion, matter of fact and hard. Richard sighed. This would be even harder than he had imagined it to be._

_"I wanted to talk to you, Janus."_

_His son raised an eyebrow, the only reaction Richard's answer provoked._

_"I don't know what we could possibly have to talk about. You're wasting your time, good bye."_

_Janus pushed away from the doorframe and went back into the kitchen without as much as another glance at his father. But if he expected Richard to give up that easily, he had underestimated his father's stubbornness. Richard didn't even think about leaving the flat, instead he followed his son into the kitchen._

_"Didn't I tell you to leave? There is nothing left to talk about, you made that perfectly clear when you threw me out a couple of weeks ago."_

_"Janus, please listen to me before you throw me out."_

_"Why should I? Did you listen to me before you threw me out?"_

_Janus angrily pulled a chair from the table and sat down, still not looking at Richard._

_"Yes, I did. If you remember, I actually threw you out because of what you said. And I'm here because I don't want to leave things the way they were back then. I just want to talk to you, I'm just asking you to listen to me for a couple of minutes."_

_The woman who had opened the door for Richard now joined them in the kitchen, oblivious to the fact that this was supposed to be a private conversation. Surely there had been no possibility for her to miss the tension between father and son, and Richard didn't really understand why she sought their presence instead of leaving them alone. _

_While Janus was still contemplating whether or not to give his father a chance to tell what he wanted, he followed Richard's glance towards the woman who was leaning on the kitchen counter and had started polishing her nails. He sighed._

_"Sarah, do me a favour and leave us alone for a while. Why don't you go visit one of your friends and…do whatever it is you do when you go out."_

_The woman, Sarah, Richard corrected himself, didn't seem too pleased that Janus quite bluntly told her to leave, but he wasn't about to complain. If she'd start sulking about it, then it was not his problem. Besides he really doubted that she would last any longer than all of Janus' other affairs. _

_Sarah left the kitchen, rummaged around in the hall for some moments until the sound of the front door signalled that she had finally left. Janus looked at his father._

_"I hope you realize that she'll be a real pain in the ass because of that. You'd better have a good reason for all this. Well, you wanted to talk to me – I'm listening."_

_He leaned back in his chair and again crossed his arms in front of his chest. Richard didn't miss the deflecting gesture._

_"As I said, I don't want things between us to be the way they were left then. I shouldn't have lost control like that, I shouldn't have slapped you. I'm sorry for it and I can only hope that you accept my apology."_

_Having said this, Richard looked into his son's eyes to see his reaction. Again, all he received was a raised eyebrow._

_"Janus?"_

_His son let out a harsh laugh._

_"That's it?"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"That's why you came here? After nearly two months? To say 'I shouldn't have slapped you, I'm sorry'? A bit poor, don't you think?"_

_Richard sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Janus definitely had inherited his mother's stubbornness, not that his son would ever admit that, of course._

_"What do you want to hear, Janus? I can only say that I'm sorry. I really am. I am not sorry that I didn't let you say those things about Remus, but I'm sorry for the way I reacted. I should have reacted differently. All I'm asking from you is to try and understand what kind of situation I was in. It's not been easy, Janus, not with Remus in such a state. I was on the edge, I had reached the limit of what I could take in emotionally. What you said was the final spark that made me explode. Slapping you was immature and it was something I would have never imagined myself to be able to. I completely overreacted and I wanted to apologize, there's nothing more I can do about it now."_

_Janus only shook his head._

_"You didn't only slap me. Do you really think that was what makes me so angry? You literally threw me out of the family, you told me you didn't want me there anymore. And you expect me to just forget about that?"_

_"It might be hard for you to understand that, but I meant what I said."_

_Janus jumped off his chair in fury._

_"And then pray why exactly are you still sitting here?"_

_"Janus, sit down please. Hear me out."_

_Reluctantly, Janus did sit down. His father had long ago earned his respect, though he had never told him directly, and though he was walking on thin ice here Janus was willing to at least listen to his father's explanation. _

_Richard buried his face in his hands and frantically searched for the right words. He had no doubt that Janus would throw him out of the flat and his life for good if he said something wrong now, and that was a chance Richard didn't want to risk. Not only because of Remus. Truly, Remus and his wish to take Harry in was a reason why he had sought out Janus, but it was just one reason amongst many others. Truth be told, he didn't want to exclude his elder son from the family, he didn't want to finalize the gap that had built up between them throughout the years._

_"I was serious when I said that I don't want to hear you talking like that about your brother. I still am serious about it. I don't want to hear you calling him a creature, a monster, to hear you say that he can't be trusted because he has a dark side. I can't stand it because I know that you're not right about it, and I hate that it forces me to take Remus' side._

_I don't want to take sides anymore Janus, I'm completely and utterly fed up with it. _

_I know that after Remus got bitten, I've made mistake after mistake when it came to you. I didn't pay you enough attention, I didn't care about your problems in the extend you would have earned. It's too much to even remember it all, and it all comes down to the fact that I've not been there for you as much as you would have needed me. _

_There are so many mistakes I've made and I can hardly hope that you forgive me all of them. But those have been my mistakes. Don't blame Remus or his condition for it. _

_I can't fight the urge to protect Remus from such accusations. People have always shunned him for something he has no control over and I tried my best to defend him. I still do. I'm taking his side because I know that such accusations are completely wrong and without any reason, whether it is some stranger that says those things or whether it is you. I do so because I know that without that reassurance he'll eventually start believing that he's a monster himself. And that is something I cannot let happen._

_But there comes the point when it all gets too much, and I've reached that point. I can't go on like that, I don't want to take sides between my two sons anymore. It only increases the fact that you feel neglected, that you think I care more about Remus than I care about you._

_Which is wrong.___

_You might not believe me, but I don't love you any less than I do love Remus. I just didn't show you often enough. Another fault to add to my list._

_I don't want to have you leave my life Janus. I want you in my life, as a part of my family. But if you really believe those things you said all those weeks ago, if you're not willing to stop talking about your brother like that, then I can only repeat that you better stay out of our life. Especially since I still don't think that you believe those things you say."_

_After Richard had said this, for a long time neither of the two men spoke. Richard didn't even dare to look into his son's eyes, afraid of what he would see there. He eventually lifted his head when Janus spoke again._

_"What do you expect me to do now? Perform a happy dance because you finally apologized for what should have been obvious for ages by now? Be glad that you give me another chance? Let me tell you something: you don't give me a chance here, you don't give me any choice. It's either play happy family with you and Remus or forget about it completely and live a life of my own. You've done it again, dad. You've already chosen Remus and now you only offer me the chance to accept that choice. That's not exactly fair."_

_Richard sighed._

_"Were the situation any different, we might not have this conversation. But you have to understand that Remus needs me, now more than ever. I just can't leave him on his own now, not after all that has happened."_

_"But you can leave me on my own, that's what you mean?"_

_"I don't want to make that choice, Janus."_

_"But you could."_

_Richard stared out of the window for some moments before he focussed his gaze on Janus again._

_"I could make that choice, yes. I don't know if I could live with it, but for Remus' sake I'd be able to try._

_Janus, I know that when Remus became a werewolf, your whole life was thrown upside down as well. I know that you've anchored all your anger about the friends that suddenly didn't want to have anything to do with you, about the fact that we had to move so often, about the fact that your mother left us, I know that you've anchored all this anger in Remus' lycanthropy. Somewhere along the way you've stopped seeing him as your little brother and only saw the wolf from that moment on. I've let that happen. _

_I know that you might not see any reason why you should help Remus now, but I know that this is what Remus needs now. He doesn't only need me, he needs you as well. I know that you cared deeply for him before all this happened and I can't believe that all this has changed._

_All I'm asking you for is another chance. A chance I have not earned, I know, but I'm not asking for it for my own sake. I'm asking for it for Remus' sake. He's never done you any wrong, don't let him down now. At least not because you're angry with me."_

_For some long minutes, silence settled over the kitchen and Janus stared at his father from intense green-brown eyes. He and his father might not be as close as Janus would have liked them to be, but nevertheless he could read him. They had not seen each other ever since Richard had thrown Janus out of the house, and during those weeks Richard had changed. He looked older, more tired, nearly exhausted. His face was sunk in and he seemed to have lost quite some weight. Also, there were lines in his face that had not been there weeks ago. Richard seemed to have aged a couple of years during slightly more than a month._

_"How bad is it?"_

_The question came out of the blue, Janus had not even planned to ask it aloud. It had been something he had inwardly started to wonder about._

_He didn't need to elaborate the question, Richard knew what Janus was talking about. He sighed._

_"I don't want you to come back because you pity him. We can manage."_

_"You don't look like you manage. That bad, eh?"_

_Again, Richard locked his eyes with Janus'. He had expected them to look mocking, to tease the answer out of him, but there was only interest in them. Not concern, not pity, only a clinical interest in the state of the affairs. Maybe this scared Richard even more. How had it been possible that Janus had developed so far away from without him noticing?_

_"It's getting better. He seems to have found something that keeps him up now, something he wants to fight for. Which is good because I don't want to have another full moon like the last one. He nearly died, literally tore himself to pieces. It's been a close call."_

_The expression in Janus' eyes didn't change, it remained one of pure clinical interest. Slowly, he nodded._

_"I accept your apology. But don't make the mistake and expect me to come back and play happy family with Remus. I can't do that, not after all those years. If you say he needs my help to pull through then I'll do my best and try, but don't expect me to change over night. _

_Remus and I aren't close and we'll probably never be. If you're willing to accept that, then I'm willing to watch what I say in the future."_

_Richard nodded. He knew that he could not get more out of his son now._

_"I didn't expect you to turn 180 degrees. I don't want you to become somebody completely different. I'm only asking you to make one step towards your brother. If he falls back into his previous state once again, I don't know if I'll be strong enough to catch him alone. _

_Thank you Janus, it really means a lot to me that you're ready to give it a try."_

_Richard got up from his chair and made his way towards the door. He turned around once more when Janus called him._

_"What exactly is it that Remus wants to fight for?"_

_Richard came to a halt and debated whether or not to spill the beans right here and then. But then again, Janus would find out sooner or later._

_"He wants to get custody for Harry."_

_Janus only stared at his father, who once more turned around and left the flat. When Janus heard the door shut behind Richard, he slowly shook his head and then began to laugh._

_He laughed long and hard, tears streaming down his face between the hysterical laughing sounds and he still laughed long after Richard had left._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Aurelia Sanders left the flat not long after she had arrived. Usually, she took her check ups on Remus as an opportunity to sit down for a cup of tea with him and talk about all the world and his wife.

But unfortunately, Remus had not been home today and so she left far earlier than she had expected, the finished report in her folder. As usual, it contained not a single negative remark about the circumstances in which Harry lived.

When Aurelia had come for her very first check up visit in the Lupin-Potter household, she had not quite known what to expect. She had never met a werewolf before, and for sure she had been prejudiced. Who in the wizarding world was not? All the more astonished had she been that the Ministry had eventually given the custody for nobody less but Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, to a registered lycanthrope. She had not considered it a wise decision and had been determined to find out each and every flaw in the household. After all, the small saviour of the wizarding world had not earned to be raised in such a risky environment.

Finally meeting Remus J. Lupin had been the weirdest thing she had ever experienced in her entire life. 

Throughout her career at the Department for Family Regulations, she had performed an uncountable number of control visits, and most of the parents and guardians greeted her with utmost detest. She was used to be treated as the scapegoat for their failures and to be treated as such. Every family she visited tried to hide all signs of insecurity and did their best to appear perfect in front of her.

Not Remus J. Lupin.

The man had been so downright honest with her right from the start that Aurelia had had to fight the urge to constantly shake her head in disbelief.

Little Harry had been fast asleep in his room, taking his afternoon nap when she arrived. There was nothing in the room she could possibly complain about. And from the content way Harry was sleeping there, neither could he.

Aurelia had been more than surprised that Remus openly admitted his lacking experience with childcare and that he sometimes didn't know how to handle the child when he was crying without seemingly any reason at all.

They had sat down for a tea and had talked for more than an hour, only interrupted once when Harry started to cry upstairs and Remus hurried out of the room without hesitation. 

Aurelia had left the house after another hour, more puzzled than ever before in her life. She had not changed her mind completely during the visit, but she had decided to give Remus Lupin a fair chance. She'd have a close eye on the boy's development during the next couple of months and if the boy was developing fine in this environment, then she'd be the last to deny him this only because his guardian was a werewolf.

It had proven to be one of the best decisions in her entire career. Remus had been able to fulfil all the high expectations she had put in him and Harry positively loved his guardian. There was such a close relationship between those two that Aurelia could not imagine any better guardian for him.

And though her reports had told exactly this, the Ministry had not agreed to stop the regular and irregular controls. But as long as Aurelia was the one to be send on those visits, she didn't complain.

She and Remus by now got along very well and saw those routine visits rather as an opportunity to chat about various things. Of course she had witnessed fights between Remus and Harry, she had seen the boy sulk or cry, but that was perfectly normal in any family. No, by now she was convinced that Remus was the right person to raise the child and nobody else.

A smile spread across her face when she thought back to the beaming smile on Harry's face when he had shown her his new broom before she had left. His 'uncle' had even allowed him to fly a little in the garden, after he had sworn Aurelia to secrecy. He knew perfectly well that Remus would throw a fit if the boy had flown without his supervision. Sometimes Remus was close to being over-protective.

Finally, Aurelia reached the edge of the anti-apparition field around the house and apparated back to the Ministry. Another completely positive report to put into the files.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Later in the evening, Janus Lupin entered the office he shared with his partner Lucas Spalding at the Department of Mysteries.

Remus had come back home shortly after lunch, and after he had told him about Aurelia Sanders' visit, Janus had left. Though he didn't have to come back to work before early evening, he desperately needed to catch up with some sleep. He had not gotten enough during the night, his brooding had kept him from it for most of the time.

So he had dropped home for another couple of hours, had spent some time with his baby girl and had had three hours of undisturbed sleep. The night would become hard, Janus knew that. The investigations on the attacks were still going on and neither his superiors nor Lucas had been very pleased when he had taken the morning off.

But then again they hardly dared to criticize his decision. There were many things one could say about Janus Lupin and not all of them were positive. But during his four and a half years in the Department of Mysteries, Janus had managed something that took others the bigger part of their career. He had gained respect.

Janus Lupin was never predictable. He was powerful, intelligent and if he was faced with a mystery, no matter how unsolvable it appeared to be, he would not let go until he had found the solution. In times it was hard to get along with him, when an idea had formed in his mind then there was nothing in the world that could hinder him to follow his instincts. Lucas constantly complained that one day he'd get them both either killed or fired because of that. His disregard for rules and regulations was already legendary. 

When Janus entered the office, Lucas only looked up shortly. Any other person would have thought nothing of that look, but Janus knew Lucas better than to ignore it. It had been a glare.

So Janus flopped down in his chair, crossed his hands behind his head and shot his partner and friend a grin.

"Had a nice day, Luke?"

Lucas didn't answer the jest, at least not verbally. Instead, he grabbed paperweight from his desk and threw it into the direction of his partner. Janus ducked quickly and avoided a collision with his head by mere inches. The paperweight dropped at the wall behind him and left a quite visible dent.

Janus straightened himself and looked at the damage.

"One could think that with all the taxes we pay the Ministry would be able to afford decent material for their facilities, don't you agree?"

That was the moment when Lucas exploded. He jumped from his chair and build himself up in front of Janus' desk in what everybody except from Janus would have considered a very threatening position.

"If you know what's good for you you'd better shut up immediately! We've got two dead wizarding families to investigate, tons of paperwork to finish and you decide that this is the best moment to take a day off! I'm thoroughly pissed off at the moment and you'd better not provoke me any further, because otherwise I'll do something I might regret."

He stormed back towards his desk, then turned again as if he had forgotten something.

"And don't call me Luke!"

He fell back into his chair and pulled out another file from the huge stack on his desk without sparing his partner another glance.

"Hey, I'm here now, alright. I've only been gone for a couple of hours, I didn't know that the Department can't run without me."

Lucas threw the files back onto his desk.

"Don't even start with this arrogant attitude on me. Just tell me why I always get stuck with the paperwork? Why do I always have to find official explanations for your behaviour, why it's always me who has to give Fudge reasons why he shouldn't fire us on the spot."

Janus raised his hands in a calming gesture.

"Hey, I didn't do anything lately. And it's not true that I load all the paperwork on you, I always thought you enjoyed it."

Lucas raised an eyebrow.

"Enjoy it? I'm still trying to find an explanation why exactly that guy two weeks ago somehow broke his jaw in the interrogation room. They know it had been intact by the time he had been brought here."

Janus smiled.

"That's easy. Tell them he ran into the door in an escape attempt."  
"He was bound to the interrogation chair, Janus. I don't think they will believe that."

Janus only shrugged.

"Then tell them he doubled over and fell with the chair. Or just tell them the truth and write that he's not been cooperative."

Lucas hit his forehead with his palm.

"Of course, why have I not thought about that! I just write that he refused to answer your questions, which was his right, that he asked for a lawyer, which was his right, and that he refused to take Veritaserum, which was his right, and that after all this you got fed up with his lack of cooperation and knocked him out cold. Of course, that's the explanation, thank you so much Janus."

Janus shook his head and opened one of the files on his own desk.

"You know Luke, cynicism so doesn't suit you. You're still young, you should embrace life as a whole with all the small wonders that come along with it."

"Janus?"

"Hmm?"

"Do me a favour."

"Anything."

"Shut the fuck up and finish those reports."

Janus only shook his head again but did as he was told. They worked in silence for some minutes, until Janus came across a file that confused him somewhat.

"Lucas?"

"What's wrong now?"  
"Why are the files of the recent attacks marked to be closed?"  
Lucas sighed.

"Fudge personally ordered them to be. We should have guessed that he'd try to hush it up as much as possible. He wants the files to be closed by tomorrow and he's already decided that the investigation results declare them a random act of a small group of attackers. That's why I wanted to have another look at them and copy as much as I can find. They also closed the attack sides, no way we can get in there again."

Lucas decided that it would be better for his mental health if he simply ignored the string of curses that followed this revelation. He knew just as well as Janus did that every sign indicated an organized and well planned attack, not a random outlet of malice. Both had seen the Dark Mark, both had seen the bodies of the victims. This had not been a maniac running amok, this had been a well-planned, well-aimed Death Eater attack.

Janus suddenly remembered that he had planned to tell Lucas about Harry's dreams and ask him for his opinion, but before he could open his mouth, their secretary Maggie opened the door.

"Information has just come in that something has happened at a Ministry facility, your presence is required. A portkey has been left for you at the desk in the Entry Hall."

Janus looked at his partner and frowned. Forgetting about all previous teasing, both checked their wands and left the office, letting professionalism take over. They knew it was of no use to ask Maggie which facility they were send to, such information was never included in the request calls for Unspeakables. They would find an indication of the degree of urgency with their portkey.

They directly went into the entrance hall where they gave their IDs to the wizard behind the counter. Once their identity was checked, the wizard handed them a muggle football magazine with a small sticker on the front. The sticker was red. 

Janus looked at Lucas and both drew their wands before they grabbed the magazine. Red meant casualties, situation not declared secure, possibility of hostile attack. Red meant not good.

The wizard behind the counter gave them the countdown.

"Fifteen seconds. Good luck."

Both men got a secure hold on the portkey and shortly afterwards they felt the tuck behind their navel that indicated they were on their way.

They materialized and immediately got into defence position, each covering the back to the other. There were few people Janus Lupin trusted and only one person he entrusted with his life without hesitation. This person was Lucas.

"Lupin, Spalding, finally."

When they heard the voice of Mundungus Fletcher, both men relaxed a little. Not enough to put their wands back, but enough to take a look at their surroundings. Janus head Lucas draw a sharp breath when he realized where they were. Behind them, the sea was waving against rock, above them some desperate gulls flew circles and cried. And in front of them, a rocky fortress rose from the  equally rocky surface. A fortress whose entrance was normally closely guarded but now was completely empty.

They were in the front yard of Azkaban.

Janus turned around and looked at Fletcher. The Auror met his gaze and held it for a long moment. He didn't say anything, but the look in his eyes told Janus everything he needed to know.

"Raided."

Mundungus Fletcher nodded.


	5. A Puzzle of Unpleasant Pieces

Hi everybody! I'm so glad that so many of you still stick with my story, and to have so many new faces here! The story slowly starts moving, so I won't waste precious time and space here with my senseless rants.

Just one thing: Sorry in advance to any inhabitant of Manchester that might read this. I've never been there before, it was just the first city name except from London that popped into my mind.

Again, this chapter was planned to be shorter, but then it became fourteen pages without me realizing how.

Oh, and I'm proud to introduce…dum dum dum…**SIRIUS**!!! Though only in a flashback I had written ages ago, and I didn't really know which part of the story to put it in. I guess it fits quite well to the conversation of Richard and Janus in the last chapter. And if not – well, at least you got some Sirius.

A/N for the week:

**J-chan: Thank you! I agree, Harry/Remus friendship fics are so much fun to read. If they don't suddenly turn into weird slash stories somewhere in the middle. But don't be afraid, nothing like this will happen here. *g* Fav list? My, thank you again. Unfortunately, I can't go faster than one post per week, at least not until my semester at university is finished in two weeks time.**

**Nicky: Thank you. I got you worried about Sirius? Well, exactly what I intended. To be bluntly honest, I don't know yet what I'm going to do with him. There are two scenarios playing around in my mind, I don't know which one I will chose. But I got a preference…*g* I'm glad you like the Lupin family I created, they've cost me a lot of sweat and tears, and a severe brain damage from what I guess now.**

**SailorGurl: Thank you, I do my best to keep this up.**

**sk8reagle: Thanks.**

**Auri: Du hast es ja noch nicht mal alles gelesen…Ich schätze mal, Du wirst nicht gerade einen Janus-Fan-Club aufmachen. Viel Spaß! *knuddel ganz fest***

**Nicky: Nope, this isn't the hint I've been talking about. But nevertheless a good idea you had there…don't give me ideas *g* - you could be blamed for the outcome.**

**sarahpeach: I'm not sure what I'm going to do with Sirius. I got an idea, but I'll see how it develops with the story. But I can't tell you this right now, can I? All I can tell without spoiling everything is: it won't be PoA here, but to which extend, I cannot tell yet. You'll see.**

About Sarah: No, I wasn't thinking about you when I named that dumb chick like that. I've merely been searching for a name (remember my naming problem – 'Rory'? *g*), and this was the first I came up with. Normally it's a name I rather like, after all I named Harry's wife in 'Just Visiting' Sarah. So, don't worry, I didn't want to tell you something with this, I rather enjoy your reviews.

**Mare: Thank you. I do my best to be as quick as possible, but Real Life™ keeps on interfering.**

**anaticulapraecantrix: Was one of the more pleasant surprises, I hope. After all, you get four chapters at once. I'm glad you liked it so far.**

**A.Dee: Janus of the flashbacks is not so different from Janus of the present, he just keeps his mouth shut more often than in the past. How you pronounce it? Well, I'm not sure myself. I'm the person who thought for years that 'Sirius' was pronounced 'se**rai**us' instead of 'serious'. But I have in mind that it's kinda like 'Dschanus', the 'j' pronounced as in 'jungle' and an emphasis on the 'a' with a rather short 'us' in the end. At least that's how I pronounce it, but keep in mind that I'm German, so I don't really know how a native speaker in English would pronounce it.**

Azkaban is raided. Yepp, that means Sirius is out. And I won't tell whether Sirius is still innocent in my story, you'll have to wait and see. *g*

**Jade **S**: Thank you! I also enjoy your long reviews. And the chapter length is never planned, it just always happens. I start like 'Oh, I'll write just one little scene' and then I end up typing for hours with a finished chapter. Funny thing is, that I don't just type down what I planned to, but suddenly small ideas that I had never thought about before also end up in the story. That's how I ended up with those excerpts from the Ministry regulations, it was never planned.**

I felt that Janus needed more background for the readers to understand. That's what I tried to do in this chapter, and it will happen more often. He's fun to write. I guess I can understand why you feel sorry for him, but don't think that his life is as bad as the flashbacks in the last chapters suggested. It's rather that both Janus and Richard feel it in an exaggerated extend because the whole situation around them is so chaotic with Remus' depression and all. It's not that he's been neglected all his life by Richard, but he feels that Remus always came first for his father. It's something they need to work on…

I didn't intentionally go for Remus' development in chapter 4, I guess it just happened. I wanted to show how all the other characters think about Remus, be it his brother and father or his caseworker from the Ministry. It wasn't really intentional to have his character developed without him really appearing, it just happened. But I'm glad it worked.

I can't tell you what role Sirius will play, I just tell you that he'll be in it. Nothing more…

Of course Janus won't be allowed to talk about the raid in Azkaban. The Ministry is trying to hush it all up. But there'll be more consequences than just a fight in the Lupin family, all I can say is that Remus won't be too pleased. So you're not looking too deeply into things, you got it right somehow…

**Leonie: Ich wäre ja nicht ich wenn Harrys Leben so ruhig und friedlich bleiben würde, oder? Schon bald wird es wesentlich dunkler werden. Armer Harry, armer Remus. **

Janus wird Remus helfen, Harry zu kriegen, Du wirst es in den nächsten chaptern sehen.

**thewalrus: Thank you so much! I positively love Remus Harry family fics, if you know another please tell me. I'm so glad that you like the way I write Harry and Remus, I hope I can keep this up.**

**Moonlight: Yepp, it's bad. But Voldemort has never been really dead, not even in the books. He's just been searching for ways to get his body back, and in canon he found it in Goblet of Fire. Maybe in my story he finds it a little earlier…*g***

Well now, I can't tell you who the traitor is and who the betrayed, can I? In a couple of chapters something will happen to Harry which should make it a bit more clear…

But don't worry, I won't send him back to the Dursleys. I guess. But you'll see Vernon later on, I'm already looking forward to writing that scene.

**Melissa **Lupin**: Here you go!**

Now all that's left for me to say is the usual:

Enjoy!

**A Puzzle of Unpleasant Pieces**

_Gryffindor__Tower__ literally buzzed with excitement. The end of the year exams were finally over, and the next morning the students would be on their way home on board of the Hogwarts express._

_The Gryffindor Common Room was packed with students who were discussing their exam results or using the last moments at school for another game of wizards chess and exploding snap. Any observer might get the impression that the whole house was assembled in the room. _

_Nobody really took notice when the portrait hole opened and Sirius Black strode into the common room, a smug grin on his face. The holidays might be near, but he wouldn't be The Great Sirius Black, Prankster Par Excellence if he would let the Slytherins leave the castle without a little surprise to remember him over the holidays. Bless those little house elfs, they had been more than willing to let him inspect the next morning's breakfast in the kitchens. And all the Slytherins who would be unlucky enough to eat their porridge in the morning would find themselves in a rather funny predicament when they got off the train in the evening._

_Though Sirius was grinning, he would have enjoyed the prank even more if he was able to share it with his friends. But James and Lily had been snogging the entire afternoon, as if they would never see each other again after the next morning, and Peter had been fawning over a rather attractive sixth year Hufflepuff ever since lunch. Not that the shy little Peter would ever overcome his fear and ask her for a date, sometimes even Sirius wondered how on earth Peter had ever been sorted into Gryffindor. _

_With Prongs and Wormtail ruled out, Sirius had spent half an hour searching for Remus before he had gone into the kitchens on his own. Remus had not been in the library and not out on the grounds, and after he had checked at Hagrid's, Sirius had been far too lazy to once more climb the stairs to Gryffindor tower. But that didn't mean he couldn't tell his friends about it now._

_His blue eyes darting across the faces in the crowded room, he soon spotted Peter in an armchair in front of the fireplace and went over._

_"Hey Pete."_

_Peter looked up from the book he had been reading and smiled._

_"Hey Sirius, where have you been?"_

_"Oh Pete, if you hadn't been Hufflepuff-chasing I would have invited you to come along. I've been in the kitchens."_

_Peter's eyes widened, a kitchen raid was something he was up to at any time of day. But Sirius only smirked and raised his hand._

_"No, no kitchen raid. Rather breakfast preparations. But you'll have to wait until tomorrow on the train until you see the result. That's the punishment for neglecting your prankster duties."_

_Peter raised a pale blond eyebrow._

_"Anything I should know? Which food to eat and which to avoid, something like that?"_

_"Only if you plan to take a seat at the Slytherin table…"_

_"Nope, can't say I intend to do that."_

_Sirius laughed. If anybody had asked him who was most afraid of the Slytherins, especially of Snape, then his immediate answer would have been Peter. The small and not really slim boy had been bullied by them ever since their first year and had never learned the art to stand up against their taunts. Of course, it was neither very easy nor even necessary to learn it if you were friends with James Potter and Sirius Black. If they called you their friend, they defended you in every situation._

_"Seen James and Remus anywhere?"_

_Peter shrugged his shoulders._

_"Don't know where Remus is, haven't seen him since lunch. Last time I saw James, he was sitting on the sofa in the corner, with Lily glued to his lap and mouth."_

_Sirius laughed loudly and with a ruffle across Peter's already thinning out hair he went over to search for his friend. He wouldn't be Sirius Black if he allowed James to snog his girlfriend for hours without interruption. Not that he didn't like Lily or the fact that she was James' girlfriend, not at all. Lily was a cute and bright girl, and if they were completely honest every of his friends was to a small extend in love with her. She was their princess, but that didn't mean she was spared the taunts that came along with the package. Being James' girlfriend meant being accepted by their little gang, and that meant getting along with Sirius, Remus and Peter or you were out of it. Oh, and Lily got along, with all of them. But that didn't hinder her from doubting James' choice of friends every other day._

_As Peter had said, James was sitting on a sofa in the corner, Lily on his lap. Sirius doubted that they had even moved ever since Peter had left them on their own._

_With a smirk that would have honoured every Malfoy, Sirius let himself drop next to James, startling him so that he dropped Lily quite unceremoniously to the ground._

_"Hey Jamie, what's up?"_

_James didn't pay him more attention than was necessary to shoot a murdering glance, then he lend Lily a helping hand and pulled her back onto the sofa._

_"You alright Lils?"_

_Lily grimaced while rubbing her backside, and she too shot Sirius a scolding glance._

_"Yeah. Just keep him under control in the future, otherwise I can't guarantee for anything."_

_She pulled out her wand and waved it threateningly in front of Sirius' face, but the twinkle in her eyes betrayed that she would never consider using Sirius as a test object for her charms._

_Sirius smiled one of his famous million-candle-smiles that even melted McGonagall's heart from time to time._

_"Oh, come on Lils, you love me. Just admit that you couldn't imagine a life without me."_

_Lily rolled her eyes towards the ceiling._

_"A life without Sirius Black? That would be like dying and going to heaven!"_

_With a sigh James turned towards his friend._

_"And what have you been up to lately?"_

_Sirius grinned._

_"Oh, quite much. While you have been tongue-battling with Lily here I have been using the talents given to me."_

_James groaned, fully well knowing that Sirius once more had done something worth a detention. He wondered whether anybody in the history of Hogwarts before had ever managed to delay their trip home because they had had to hand-clean cauldrons._

_"Do I really want to know, Padfoot?"_

_Sirius shrugged his shoulders and cocked his head in a very dog-like way. James shook his head. He would have to tell Sirius how much he started adopting Padfoot's features lately. He was drawn out of his line of thought however by Sirius' voice._

_"Huh?"_

_"Earth to Jamie, earth to Jamie! You're still with us? I was asking whether you have seen Remus."_

_James' forehead frowned in thought, then he shook his head._

_"No, not really. Strange, I hadn't even realized."_

_Sirius just raised an eyebrow._

_"Jamie, no offence meant, but you wouldn't have realized if a Hungarian Horntail had devastated the Common Room, you were far too occupied with…you know."_

_He made a vague gesture in the air which James decided better not to comment. Sirius got up from the sofa._

_"Well, I'll have a look for good old Moony, guess he's in the dorm. I wonder why, though, with everybody here celebrating the end of the school year. You two continue wherever you left, just keep in mind that there are children present."_

_With this he turned around towards the staircase and quickly ducked without even looking back. He knew Lily far too good by now, so the pillow she had thrown didn't come as a surprise._

_With a stifled chuckle, he jumped up the stairs and went towards their dormitory. James and Lily no doubt had already forgotten that he had been there._

_He opened the door to what he first thought was an empty dormitory. Only on a closer look, he realized through the half-closed curtains around Remus' bed that his friend indeed was in the room as well._

_"Hey Moony. Guess what I've just come up with for the Slytherins tomorrow. Jamie didn't really want to listen, but then again he had other things in his mind – and in his mouth if you get my meaning."_

_Sirius stepped closer to Remus' bed and frowned his forehead as he received no reply. Cautiously, he stepped closer._

_"Moony? You here?"_

_A muffled grunting sound came from Remus' bed which could have been an affirmative, a negation or the sound of a hippogriff in heat. Basically, it didn't really sound like Remus at all and that worried Sirius a little. Sirius opened the curtain of Remus' bed just a little further._

_"Remus? Something wrong? Why do you hide up here when everybody's celebrating?"_

_"Don't want to party. Leave me alone."_

_For a moment Sirius wondered what had happened to his friend's voice, until he realized that it sounded as if muffled through a pillow. He drew the curtain back completely and sat down on the edge of the mattress._

_Remus lay in his bed, curled up into a ball and a pillow clenched over his head. Something Remus didn't normally do and it immediately worried Sirius._

_"Remus, what's wrong? Talk to me, please."_

_Remus shook his head under the pillow. But he should have known that Sirius wouldn't leave it at that. _

_"Remus…"_

_With a sharp yank, he pulled away the pillow from Remus and forced his friend to look into his eyes._

_"Okay. I know that something is wrong because normally you don't hide away in your bed and try to shut out the world. So either you tell me right now, or you'll listen to me pestering you until you finally give in. First way is a lot faster, but if you prefer the latter, I'm prepared."_

_Remus sighed and decided to try whether ignoring his friend would work. It did, for nearly twenty seconds._

_"Remus Jonathan Lupin, don't think that you can play stupid with me. Something is bothering you, I can see that."_

_No, it obviously didn't work, Remus should have known._

_With a deep sigh, he put himself upright into a sitting position and pulled his knees to his chest._

_"I got a letter from home today."_

_Sirius got a heavy lump in his throat. Had something happened with Remus' family? There were a lot of students lately that received the dreaded letters in which they were told that one of their family members had fallen victim to an attack of Dark Magic. James father was an Auror, and through him they had received more and more disturbing news throughout the last term. It seemed that Voldemort was getting more powerful by the minute. Throughout the school year, more and more attacks against muggle-born wizards and witches had been reported, and also those of mixed muggle - wizard relations were no longer safe from Voldemort and his followers. Not less than eight student had received notice that one or both of their parents had been killed during the last eight months. And though Remus' muggle mother had left the family some time ago, Sirius didn't want to imagine his friend being in such a position._

_"What was it about? Has something happened?"_

_Remus shook his head quickly when he heard the genuine concern in his friend's voice._

_"No, not really. Actually nothing's wrong, at least nothing has happened. I'm just behaving like a little child, nothing is wrong. Really."_

_He looked into Sirius' eyes and immediately knew that his friend didn't believe him. _

_"So you got a letter from home saying that nothing is wrong at all, and out of sheer joy about these news you go and hide yourself. Really believable story Remus. Come on, somebody with your brains at least should have come up with a more credible story. So, what is wrong?"_

_"My dad won't be home much during the holiday."_

_Sirius raised an eyebrow._

_"Home alone? You worry because you'll have the house all for yourself for nearly two months? Oh, now I know – you came here alone to plan the party!"_

_Remus only shook his head._

_"I don't think there will be much opportunity for parties, Sirius. Not with Janus home all the time."_

_Sirius' face fell immediately. Janus. He should have guessed as much. Remus' four year older brother had graduated from Beauxbatons two years ago and now worked for the French 'Ministère de la Magie'. He had only met him once, but from all that Remus had told him he must be a real pain in the ass. And to say that those two didn't get along would be like saying that Snape had a small problem with his hair hygiene. Not that Remus talked much about Janus, on the contrary he avoided it whenever possible, but from what he had told, Remus' lycanthropy was a very sore topic between those two. When their family had been forced to move for the first (and definitely not the last) time because their neighbours had found out about Remus, he had been nine years old and forced to leave all his friends behind. And this had happened again and again until he had left for Beauxbatons at the age of eleven. And the fact that Remus' mother had left the family and run off with a muggle, leaving the wizarding world and her family completely behind her when Remus had been ten years old, had not helped matters between the two brothers either. _

_The fact that Remus was a werewolf had always been an easy target for Janus, a target he used mercilessly. Sirius didn't really want to imagine what it would be like for Remus to live with him for two months straight._

_"But why? I mean, isn't he busy at his Ministry, kissing the ass of his superior or something like that?"_

_Remus didn't even smile like he normally did when somebody said something against his older brother._

_"Dad asked him to. He's got a lot of work to do over summer and he can't postpone it. And because Janus had a lot of holiday left, he asked him to take it to watch over me, because a fifteen year old can hardly be left alone."_

_He rose his voice in a mock imitation of his father, but there was no mirth behind his voice._

_"I would have understood it during the time around full moon, but the entire time? Dad will be home for about four weeks, but only five days or so straight. The rest of the time I'll have to listen to how much shame I've brought on the family and that every fucking thing in this fucking world is my bloody fault. So, now you know it. I'd be glad if you could leave me alone again now."_

_Sirius said nothing, but after some moments he grabbed Remus' hand and tried to drag him out of his bed._

_"What are you doing?"_

_"I'm trying to prevent you from getting a depression. Now, as I see it, you'll have two more months to wallow in your self-pity, so you should enjoy your last evening of freedom. Come on, let's tease James and Lils a little, and then I'll tell you what I've planned for the Slytherins tomorrow."_

_Remus only rolled his eyes, knowing fully well that he would lose this battle of wills against his friend. Sirius' next words however, made him look up again._

_"Oh, and about your brother…"_

_"Yes?"_

_Remus asked this cautiously, he knew only too well what would happen if he encouraged Sirius in whatever he was planning now._

_"I think I have an idea for Janus. An every-day surprise in case he bothers you too much."_

_Now Remus was worried._

_"And that would be?"_

_Sirius put an arm around Remus' shoulder and guided him out of the dormitory._

_"Tell me, has Janus ever received a howler?"_

_At this, even Remus could no longer suppress a laugh._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Janus had not needed Fletcher's confirmation of what he feared had happened. Not really. The completely empty front yard of the wizarding prison, the unguarded entrance and the eerie silence that was no longer disturbed by desperate screams from the prisoners told him everything he needed to know. He had been to Azkaban many times, bringing new prisoners in or fetching prisoners for further questioning, he instinctively knew that the prison had been raided. The only question he could not answer was how.

Pushing this question into the back of his mind for now, Janus once more turned to the old Auror. He knew Mundungus Fletcher from various occasions, but nevertheless he wondered why it was exactly him who had awaited their arrival. Truly, Fletcher was the connecting link between the Auror Units and the Department of Mysteries, but normally he only supervised Janus' and Lucas' missions when both Ministry organs were involved. But today Janus was fairly sure that no Aurors were here, at least not yet.

It was Lucas who finally uttered the question.

"Fletcher, how many teams are already in?"  
"Seven teams already arrived, you're the eighth. I was told that ten more would be sent, but it'll take them a couple of minutes longer as they weren't on duty when the emergency call came."

Janus nodded.

"Your teams or our teams?"

"Yours."

"No Aurors?"

Fletcher shook his head.

"Fudge explicitly ordered not to send Aurors, otherwise we'd already have at least a hundred men here."

Fletcher didn't need to speak out aloud what that meant. If Fudge was keeping the Aurors away from the raided prison, then he wanted to hush it up. Nobody would notice a small group of Unspeakables investigate a crime scene, dozens of Auror squads on the other hand would definitely be noticed. Not to mention that the more Aurors you brought to a crime scene, the bigger the possibility became that one of them would let something slip.

But there would be time to talk about this later, right now Janus and Lucas needed to know what the situation and their orders were.

"So, what happened?"

Fletcher shrugged his shoulders.

"The morning shift arrived half an hour ago, and they immediately reported that the entrance was unguarded and the prisoners weren't there anymore. I was sent here with three teams, we evacuated the morning shift and set up Anti-Apparition wards. Only portkeys work, and those only to get in, not to get out. Nobody comes or leaves without my knowledge. The teams that have previously arrived are already in the building, searching if any of the intruders are still here and how many prisoners are left."

Janus nodded.

"The night shift?"

"We haven't found them yet."

"The Dementors?"

Fletcher sighed.

"They're gone. Whether willingly or not, I can't tell yet."

Lucas twisted his wand between the fingers of his right hand, a gesture he always made when he was processing information, trying to prepare for what was awaiting them. He stopped the twisting and looked at Fletcher.

"Our orders?"

Fletcher pulled out a makeshift map of the prison complex, pointing at it while he spoke.

"Three of the teams are covering the north-wing, two are in the main complex and another two in the dungeons. You're to cover the east-wing, the high-security complex. So far I've not received any feedback from the other teams, but they're only in for a couple of minutes yet. 

Your orders are to locate the prisoners that are still left and to secure them in their cells in case they're out. If you find any of the intruders left, arrest them. Stun and bind, don't kill – explicit order. We want to be able to still question them. You're to report back every thirty minutes, in case that there's an emergency send a signal. I'll see what help I can get through to you then. 

I'll send the next two teams that arrive to cover your backs, but until then you're on your own. Any questions?"

Lucas shook his head and so did Janus, his eyes still fixed on the map, trying to figure out the best strategy. During the years of working together, it had proven to be most efficient if Janus figured out the strategy, he had a knack for finding the most effective way. After some short moments, he drew his eyes away from the map and nodded at Lucas.

"Let's go."

"Good luck Lupin, Spalding."

With a final nod at the older Auror, the two Unspeakables entered the building. Slightly less than five minutes had passed since their arrival.

The entrance hall of Azkaban was unusually silent, that was the first impression Janus got when they entered the prison. Of course he should have expected this, but nevertheless it unsettled him to some extend. Whenever he had been here before, the entrance area had been closely guarded, at least five wardens had been stationed there to thoroughly check every visitor for concealed weapons or other means of escape. But what bothered Janus most was the creepy silence. 

Though the cell complexes were shut off from the entrance area, the shouting and screams of the prison inmates had always penetrated through the doors. There had never been silencing spells on the separate cell complexes, one of the more subtle methods of torture that were practiced in Azkaban. Every prisoner should be able to hear the terrified screams of the other inmates when the Dementors were once more making their rounds through the prison, the prisoners were supposed to always be reminded that there was no single moment of mental peace for them while they were imprisoned here.

But now the only sounds that could be heard in the wide hall were the muffled footsteps Janus and Lucas produced.

Lucas' analyzing mind immediately registered that no signs in this room hinted that a fight might have taken place here. This alone was strange, even if there had been some sort of riot serving as a distraction in another part of the prison, Ministry guidelines declared that at least two members of the shift that was on duty had to remain in the entrance area, no matter what. He stored this piece of information for later, already contemplating the idea that one or more of the guards on shift had been involved in the organization of the raid.

"This way."

Without hesitation, Lucas followed Janus' lead down the corridor on their right, his eyes never ceasing to check their surroundings for possible attackers. Both men had their wands drawn, ready to let the curses fly in case they were attacked. First stun, then ask questions, a strategy that had more than once saved both their lives already. 

Janus was sprinting up the staircase at the end of the corridor, heading for the high-security complex. Upon every corner he had to round, he first carefully checked that their way was clear, leaving the coverage of their backs to Lucas in absolute trust. The first lesson that every Auror and especially every Unspeakable learned was that either you learned to rely on your partner completely, trusting your life to him or her without hesitation or doubt, or you were out of it. Working on missions like those professions required didn't work out if both members of the team were dividing their attention between two things at once. Janus and Lucas had learned that lesson quite soon, and both knew each other well enough by now to simply know that they could rely on each other. Janus knew that while Lucas was watching their backs he would immediately get to know when danger came from that direction, just as well as Lucas knew that Janus would not lead him into hostile confrontation without a warning.

Janus didn't know whether he should be relieved that they met nobody on the way to their destination or whether this should worry him even more. The prison seemed to be completely empty, and if all the intruders and the prisoners should have really escaped before the alarm had been raised then this hinted at a well and carefully planned raid. This possibility was not one Janus liked to consider, it meant that whoever had carried out the attack was far too powerful and capable for his liking.

They reached the entrance to the high-security ward without a single occurrence out of the ordinary, and both men for a moment just stared at the open door.

The door behind which the most dangerous criminals in the wizarding world were held should not be open.

With a quick spell, Janus found that all the wards that were usually guarding the door had been taken down, and had been for quite some time now. The magical signatures they had left were already beginning to fade.

From his previous visits to the prison, Janus knew that behind the door lay a long stretched corridor with ten cells on each side, none of the cell-doors being exactly opposite to another. The prisoners were meant to hear the others' screams, but allowing them to have eye-contact was something the Ministry was carefully trying to avoid. Though nobody had ever managed to break out of Azkaban, none of those responsible were willing to take a chance that it could happen in the future.

'Doesn't seem they have to worry about that from now on,' Janus thought grimly, while another part of his brain was already busy thinking up the best strategy for them to proceed. He looked at his partner who was eying the corridor behind them warily.

"Okay, we'll take the cells from front to back. That way, if someone is still in there they will be trapped and can't get past us. I'll take the cells on the left, you those on the right. One remains in the corridor while the other is in the cell. Quick check only, making sure that nobody is in the cell anymore and if they are, we'll lock them in after the standard check up for wands or other weapons, no matter if prisoners or intruders. Let's not spend too much time in the cells, I don't like the idea that one of us has to guard the corridor in both directions on his own."

Lucas nodded his consent and both men proceeded behind the door, Lucas still covering their backs while Janus searched out for anybody jumping out of one of the cells to attack them.

The first cell was on the left side, so Janus quickly made sure that Lucas was in the corridor, his back covered by the wall, and entered the small room.

Like all Azkaban cells, the room was barely large enough for a grown man to walk in, with two steps maximum it was crossed from one side to the other. The only light in the cell was provided not by a window as such, but by small slits in the wall just below the ceiling. The slits were barred and enchanted so that no prisoner could scratch the rock around the bars. Not that the slits would have provided enough space for a grown man to push through anyway, even without the bars, they were maybe slightly less than two inches high.

The steel-bar door of the cell was wide open, and upon entering the cell Janus only found the ragged mattress that was covered by a well-worn blanket and a pathetic excuse for a pillow in the far end corner. Otherwise, the cell was empty. With a quick look at the ceiling, Janus went out of the cell again and shut and locked the door behind them. That way, they could secure that nobody hid in a cell they had already checked and considered empty.

He shook his head at Lucas, indicating that the cell had been empty, and while his partner went into the first cell on the right side of the corridor, Janus leaned at the wall and let his eyes wander across the corridor to his left and right.

They repeated this procedure with fourteen other cells, every time one of them was covering the corridor while the other one was searching the cells. Every time they came out without finding anything, the cells were empty.

This changed however when they came to the second-to-last cell on the left side of the corridor. Once more, Lucas had taken up his position in the corridor, but before Janus even entered the cell he felt that something was different this time. Even before he looked closer into the small, dim-lighted room, he knew that it was not empty.

Most other men would have turned around and retched the contents of their stomachs onto the corridor as soon as they had lain their eyes onto what Janus saw now, but Janus Lupin had seen worse. He might have been only thirty-one years old, but he had worked for wizarding governments for more than ten years now, and four and a half of them in the Department of Mysteries. It didn't need a Dark Lord to bring out the worst in some wizards, and by now Janus was used to seeing blood and intestines in large amounts, macabre as it might sound.

Scanning the room with his eyes, Janus saw the bodies of five people lying in the cell. At least he guessed that it were five people, there were a couple of body parts lying around which he could not immediately attribute to one of the corpses. The bodies were lying in a huge pool of already drying blood and they looked as if their death had not necessarily come upon them by magic. Janus guessed that it had either been cutting and detaching charms that had been carried out clumsily, or rather the use of knife-like sort of weapons. The latter possibility seemed more likely to him right now, though one of the corpses showed wounds that seemed to have been inflicted by something else. Beyond his ability to block it, suddenly an image of Remus after a particularly nasty full moon when he had been seventeen years old came to Janus' mind. Remus had been fairly upset about something before his transformation, about what, Janus did not know, and in the morning they had found him literally shredded in the garden shack. Claw marks…bite wounds…Janus' mind was racing. Somehow, the marks on this one body reminded him of the wounds his brother inflicted on himself in his canine form, but he quickly dismissed this thought into the back of his brain. Last night had not been a full moon, so this could not have been done by a werewolf. He would think about it later, he had already spent too much time in this cell for his own liking. Not that the sight of the corpses bothered him too much, but Lucas was alone in the corridor and that was something Janus tried to keep as short as possible. It wasn't possible for a single man to guard a corridor completely into both directions, it was better if he left now. 

With one last look onto the bodies in the cell he confirmed the information he had already taken in the very first moment he had entered the cell.

Janus left the cell, locking the door behind him and turned to his partner.

"I guess we've found parts of the night-shift."

Not really knowing why, Janus had to suppress a macabre chuckle about the wordplay he had unwillingly made, but Lucas had not seen the state of the corpses in the cell, so he didn't react to it.

Instead, he remained calm and professional about it, death and bodies were nothing new to him, either.

"How many?"

"From what I could count, five. But it's hard to tell, some of them seem to have been torn apart. Literally. They're wearing warden's uniforms, and unless somebody took the time to dress prisoner or Death Eater bodies in their robes, it's the guards."

Lucas thought for a moment, then nodded. He'd have a look at the cell later, once the building was declared searched and safe.

Relying that Janus would guard the corridor, he went into the second-to-last cell on the right.

The search of the remaining cells on the corridor provided the same results than the first sixteen. Each of them was empty except from the standard 'equipment' Azkaban provided its prisoners with, and none of them showed any signs of a struggle or a fight.

After they had checked the last cell, Lucas realized that they were already ten minutes late with their half-hour signal to Fletcher. He quickly shot some green sparks out of the ventilation slit at the end of the corridor, knowing that the old Auror would see this as a signal of everything being under control, then he went back to his partner.

Now that all the cells were sealed and they had only to watch one end of the corridor for possible attackers, the two men could take some time to gather and compare their impression of the situation.

Lucas was the first to speak.

"What we have is an unguarded entrance hall with no sign of the wardens that should have been there. So we need an explanation for why at least two wards left their post, completely ignoring the Ministry guidelines. Then we have an apparently empty prison with no signs left of those who have raided it. The high-security prisoners have escaped, the wards in front of the high-security complex have been taken down. On purpose, they didn't show signs of having been breached by force. 

Who knows the codes to take down the wards in front of that door?"

Janus looked into Lucas' brown eyes and without hesitation answered.

"The Minister of Magic Fudge, head of Magical Law Enforcement Ryder, Governor of Azkaban McKinley and the twenty wardens that are on duty.

How often are the codes changed?"

"With each shift. The new shift is equipped with an envelope containing the codes that can only be opened and read on the island, inside of the wards around the building. The Minister and the other officials that are not present at Azkaban receive the codes at the same time, and it's made sure that they can only open their respective envelopes with nobody else present."

"Security wards around the island and the building?"

Lucas sighed and thought for a moment.

"Untraceable for apparating in, portkeys don't work, apparating out only from the room behind the warden's office. In case of an emergency there's a code to disable the non-tracking spells so that help can apparate directly to the island. The code is kept in the warden's office, in the safe, and only the head warden knows the combination. In case that apparition is enabled by using that code, alarms immediately set off at the Ministry and in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Otherwise, the island is only approachable by boat. One boat on the island, one on the mainland, all boat movement around the island is tracked and recorded at the Ministry."

This little game of questions and answers was Janus' and Lucas' approach to every new case. During those brainstorming sessions, both made sure that none of them had information the other hadn't, and so they tried to find a first analysis of the situation.

Janus pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger and closed his eyes for a moment while he thought.

"How did they come to the island?"

"Not without help from the inside. Either someone at the Ministry is involved and disabled one of the security wards around the island without anybody else noticing, or someone on the island. But the latter is not probable as the alarms would have set off as soon as somebody on the island had taken down any of the wards."

"Or they had help from both sides."

Lucas shrugged.

"Possible, but I don't think it's likely. The more people you involve, the more likely it is that the plan fails."

"But they needed the codes to bring down the wards in front of the high-security complex."

Again, Lucas only shrugged his shoulders.

"They could have tortured it out of one of the guards. Or they were already there when the night-shift arrived with the new codes. Of course it's possible that one of the wardens was involved, but we'll only find out about that once they're all accounted for. If the body of one ward is missing, then we'll know. Until then, it's only a possibility. I guess at the moment the more important question now is where the lack in the Ministry is, because without one the raid would have been noticed before the day-shift arrived.

What do you reckon happened here during the raid, forgetting about how the intruders came to the island for now?"

Janus looked around the corridor and into the cell in front of him as if the answer to that question was lying in there.

"They came to the island, we don't know how yet. If you ask me how many, I'd say at least twice the number of the wardens, to clearly outnumber them. Maybe even more, because even Death Eaters are careful around their peers, especially if those have been imprisoned for such a long time. They couldn't know what state of mind they were in.

They got the codes for the wards inside of the building, either by force or because they had an ally amidst the wardens. Then they have worked their way through the prison, systematically I'd say. It's of no use to plan a raid so carefully and then have freed prisoners running all over the place in chaos. I guess they started here, with those who have been closest to You-Know-Who."

While Janus was talking, Lucas went to cell seventeen again and opened the door. He stepped inside of the cell, still listening to what Janus was saying, taking in the picture there in on his own. Just like Janus, his face didn't show any sign of uneasiness or any other emotion while looking at the massacre in front of him. When Janus had finished talking, Lucas left the cell and locked it again.

"I reckon those wardens either were the traitors who were useless after they had given over the codes, or they were trying to stop the intruders from freeing the prisoners. Looks like usage of knives or detaching charms, except from one of the bodies. The wounds on this body don't have sharp edges, they look rather jagged, like…"

"Claw- or bite wounds." Janus finished for him. Lucas looked up in astonishment, but then nodded. He had not thought about this himself, but now that Janus said it, he had to agree. Those wounds looked as if they had been afflicted by a wild and raging animal.

He straightened and turned to leave, gesturing Janus to follow.

"Let's get back down and see what the other teams have found. I'd like to know what happened to those prisoners who were in no physical or mental condition to leave on their own."

"Just one moment."

Lucas turned around to find that Janus had once more stepped in front of the cell that contained the bodies.

"What are you doing?"  
"Looking whom this cell belonged to. There's no blood on the floor anywhere here in the corridor, so those wardens have been killed in that cell. I don't think the Death Eaters had the time or will to clean up after them. I'd like to know whose cell this has been."

Lucas nodded and watched as Janus pulled out the small card that contained the name of the prisoner. The cards were attached next to the door, but were folded and the names could only be read if the card was pulled out of it's holding. 

Lucas watched as Janus unfolded the card and then he saw Janus do something he had not seen him do for years. The moment Janus read the name on the card, his face paled into a sickening white colour and his hands began to shake ever so slightly. Intrigued, Lucas stepped closer and looked over his partner's shoulder.

Janus could not believe his eyes when he read the name on the card. Though he had not heard that name in nearly six years now, he immediately recognized it. How could he have forgotten about him, why had he not remembered earlier that he too had been imprisoned right here, in the high-security complex? Of course he had been, being Voldemort's second in command. 

Janus knew that he had paled and he realized that his hands started shaking. Willing his body to overcome this unprofessional behaviour, his thoughts drifted to Remus. He was not allowed to tell Remus about it, but he knew that from now on he would have to keep more than just one eye on his little brother and Harry.

With now steadier hands he handed the card over to Lucas, whose eyes also opened up wider in recognition as he read the name.

The cell in which the wardens had been slaughtered had belonged to Sirius Black.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_Janus watched his little brother from across the table with a mixture of amusement and interest in his eyes. The full moon had been the day before yesterday, and though the transformations had not even been close to how horrible they must have been the previous month, Remus still looked tired and strained._

_Nevertheless, Janus knew that he needed to get over with this now, there was no other chance for him._

_Letting out a small laugh that drew Remus' attention to him, he started._

_"So you suddenly came up with the hilarious idea that you'd be the perfect guardian for Harry Potter. Care to tell me where that thought suddenly came from?"  
Remus shrugged his shoulders._

_"I visited him at his relative's house. His aunt and uncle are muggles and they despise everything magical, including Harry. The child is neglected there, he doesn't get any attention, let alone emotional care. The sooner Harry leaves them, the better for his development, it's not healthy for him to grow up there."_

_"Why do you think you can estimate the situation? As far as I know, you have no experience with childcare, at least none that's worth mentioning."_

_Remus looked up, his gaze angry._

_"I've known Harry ever since the day he was born. He's always been a happy and active child, not shy and withdrawn like he is now."_

_Janus leaned back in the kitchen chair and took a sip of his tea._

_"The child's parents have just died, it could be a reaction to the emotional strain he suffers under because of that. Given some time, he'll get over it and be 'happy and active' again."_

_Remus feverishly shook his head._

_"No. I know that this won't happen, and not only because I've seen Harry. I've also talked to his aunt and she admitted straight into my face that Harry doesn't have the same ranking in the family that her own son has. The boy doesn't have any toys to play with and nobody pays him any attention. His aunt calls him a freak, and that's exactly how she treats him. If Harry stays there, the only outcome of 'giving it some time' will be that he eventually starts to believe what she tells him."_

_"Remus, even if his relatives are proven not to be good guardians for him, what on Earth makes you think that you'd be better? As I said, you have no experience in childcare whatsoever."_

_"I know Harry and he knows me. He has always liked spending time with me and I love the child. I know that I could take care of him, I'd be willing to learn everything I don't know yet. After all, Lily and James didn't have any experience with children as well before Harry was born, and still they managed."_

_Janus shook his head._

_"How do you plan to support the child? A nearly two-year old can't live off love alone."_

_"I already talked to the people at the University, I'll take up teaching my classes again. And as soon as I've finished my doctor's degree, I'll open up that bookstore with Claire, as we've been planning to do for years now. The sponsorship for the shop is already arranged, so there's no problem. And once it's running, it'll provide enough for Harry and me to live off."_

_Janus sighed and closed his eyes. His brother was stubborn once he had an idea in his mind, but unfortunately for Janus now he also tended to plan everything very thoroughly. Time to pull out the big guns. It might seem unfair, but it was only for Remus' best._

_"So, even if you're found able to provide emotional support, childcare and a secure financial background for the child, two big problems remain: One, you're not the child's legal guardian. You aren't related to him in any way and there are no official papers stating you as his guardian. Two, you are a werewolf."_

_Remus slammed his hand down on the kitchen table, his anger now threatening to boil over._

_"I know that I'm not his guardian, but it would not be the first time that a child is given over to somebody who had no blood ties whatsoever with the child! Lily and James would have appointed me one of his guardians if the Ministry regulations allowed it._

_I know that werewolves aren't allowed to have children and I can understand the reason for that law. But there's no danger whatsoever to transfer the curse to a child simply by having it under my care!"_

_Janus only raised an eyebrow._

_"Except from when you bite him."_

_Remus rolled his eyes._

_"I did never say that I'd be around on full moon. Dad already agreed to take care of him during that time, and I'd leave long before moonrise and come home long after moonset, so I would be no danger to the child."_

_"Remus, there are cases proving that werewolves have transformed quite some time before or after the moon came up respectively set. It's a danger you can never rule out completely."_

_Remus jumped off his chair and started pacing in front of the table._

_"There were two cases…"_

_"Two reported cases, that doesn't mean there weren't more." Janus interrupted him._

_"Alright, two reported cases of transformation independent from moonrise and –set. But in both cases exceptional circumstances were the reason, circumstances that I can avoid. One of them had been meddling around with potions that contained Wolfsbane on the respective day, the other case happened after a near-splinching apparition over a distance farther than five-hundred miles, while a fugitive was trying to escape a prison. I don't think that any of those cases can be brought up as evidence against my capability to take care of Harry, alright?"_

_Janus watched his brother's outburst with something akin to disappointment in his eyes. Seeing his gaze, Remus sat down on the chair again and gave his older brother a challenging look._

_"Fact remains that you are a werewolf. It's against the law that werewolves adopt children or are allowed guardianship for a child. As long as this law remains, you have a snowball's chance in hell to get custody for Harry, you better understand that now and spare yourself the disappointment afterwards."_

_"I'm working on finding the loophole in this law, alright? It's not fair to come up with this argument now, you know that I don't have a reply for it yet!"_

_Janus rubbed his face with his hands before he looked up at his brother again._

_"You've shrugged your shoulders in the beginning, I would let that be in an interrogation with Ministry officials. It doesn't look too good, gives you an air of arrogance, as if you knew the obvious truth and the officials just didn't see it. Do never give them the feeling that you're feeling superior in your knowledge about Harry or the verdict is against you immediately._

_Otherwise you were holding up fine until you started pacing around the room._

_Remus, I know that you're emotionally involved, and deeply so, in this case, but you shouldn't allow yourself to lose control like you did in the end. That way they'll think you behave just like that when Harry's around. That means: No pacing, no shouting, no slamming your hands on the table. Do not insult any of them or it's over before it has even begun. They might insult you, or let it show that they don't consider you an equal human being, they probably will behave like assholes towards you, but there's no way that you can allow yourself to repeat that behaviour._

_And don't start with things like 'it's unfair', that's far too childish of an argument to be helpful for you._

_You were good in pointing out how Harry is neglected by his relatives. The first step is to convince them that Harry is not treated correctly with his family. The second step is that you make it believable that you care about the boy, that you love him. You're holding up fine with those, you could even emphasize them more. But don't become too mushy about it, that wouldn't be good either._

_In the questioning, they will bring up the issue that you're a werewolf, there's no way we can avoid that. We need to work on a way around the law that states werewolves can't adopt children. Until we've found that, we won't have a chance._

_The second big problem is that you're not mentioned in any paper to be the child's legal guardian. As this is connected to the law itself, maybe we'll find a solution for that in our research as well._

_But I don't think it would be wise to approach the Ministry with the petition for guardianship as long as we haven't progressed with this."_

_The look in Remus' eyes clearly told Janus that his brother was not willing to wait any longer than absolutely necessary. Janus sighed and patted Remus somewhat awkwardly on the arm._

_"I'm sure that you'll be doing alright in the questioning, but you have to see that we need a stable basis for the petition before we hand it in. I know that you don't want to wait, but impatience could cost you the only chance you might get for this."_

_Remus slowly nodded, though waiting still wasn't an alternative he easily accepted._

_He had been very surprised that Janus had dropped by this morning. Though his father had not told him what exactly had happened between them all those weeks ago, Remus had not missed that an argument had taken place._

_They had not spoken about anything that had happened ever since Halloween, Janus had merely told him that he thought Remus had lost his marbles if he thought he'd really be able to get custody for Harry. _

_Janus had far more insight into Ministry procedures than Remus had, and he had told him quite blankly that his chances were slim anyway, but were equalling zero if he didn't have an insider helping him. And though Janus didn't know that much about the way the Department for Family Regulation worked either, he had agreed to help Remus with his search for a way around the regulations concerning werewolves as well as rehearsing the questionings with him._

_This had been their first rehearsal, and Janus was honestly surprised how well Remus was already prepared for it. If they could convince the caseworkers that Harry needed to be taken from his relatives, then they 'only' needed to find a way to convince them that The Boy Who Lived would be best off living with a registered werewolf. _

_Janus wished that he had been set an easier task, like teaching magic to a squib or finding intelligent life in space. Or in __Manchester__, come to think of it._

_Pulling himself out of his thoughts, Janus sighed._

_"Why don't you lie down for a while, you look ready to collapse. Dad should be home with the books in a couple of hours, I'll wake you then."_

_Remus nodded and got up from the table. As he stood in the doorframe, he once more turned around._

_"Thanks Janus."_

_Janus looked at his little brother and tried to smile encouragingly. _

_"You're welcome. Just do me one favour."_

_Remus raised an eyebrow._

_"Which?"_

_Janus sighed. This would not be easy to say, but he felt he needed to remind Remus of it._

_"Don't get too absorbed in the idea. It might work, but you know that our chances are really slim to get the custody. Just make sure that it's not the only straw you cling to."_

_Remus nodded uneasily and left the room._

_Janus took another sip of his now cold tea and then buried his face in his hands._

_"What have I gotten myself into now?"_


	6. Friends and Foes

Okay, I don't know if anybody even bothered to read it, or if those who read it still remember, but I just wanted to say it nevertheless.

Remember what I said in my disclaimer? That the story won't be as long as TFB, maybe the size of TLM? Scrap that. What I've written so far already has TLM size (nearly 60.000 words), and it's no way near finished. So I guess it'll be slightly shorter than TFB. Any complaints? Didn't think so.

Oh and one mistake I made in chapter 2 (except from all the various expression and spelling mistakes I produce despite all re-reading):

Near the end, when Janus tells Richard that he and Remus were only bantering like brothers do, it reads:

"Except from the fact that Janus and Richard were anything but normal brothers." Of course it should be "…that Janus and Remus were anything but…"

Just wanted to correct that one, but I'm way too lazy to re-load the chapter just because of that.

Talking about mistakes (and sometimes I really wonder where my mind is when I think up the chapters): 

For the sake of reason and logic, just assume that Janus didn't take only one day off to baby-sit Harry, make that two. So he returns to his office around late-morning on the second day after full moon. Otherwise all this 'dayshift-nightshift' and 'yesterday had not been full moon' don't work out. This say, I leave you with my usual:

Enjoy! (A/N at the end of chapter)

**Friends and Foes**

_It took Remus every bit of his long-trained self-control not to start trembling as he approached the Ministry building in __London__._

_It was now near the end of March and he had handed in his petition of custody for Harry two weeks ago. Remus didn't like that it had taken nearly three months to make that step once that Janus had agreed to help him, and he had uttered this dislike in any given situation, but his brother and father seemed for once to have found something to agree on. One small part of his brain, the part that still remained thinking logical even when Harry was concerned, had told Remus that his brother was right with his hesitation to hand the petition in, but that little piece of logic had not helped easing his mind at all. Harry was not treated right with that poor excuse of a family he had, and Remus needed to take him out of there before any lasting damage had been caused._

_But though Remus would never admit it openly, he knew Janus was right. It was of no use to hurry things, if he had handed in a half-hearted petition his chances would have been even more slim than they already were._

_Also, Remus was fairly sure that Janus wanted to test the strength of his will concerning the custody case. Janus was always testing Remus as it seemed, always trying to find out how serious he was about things, how strong his conviction was. _

_Remus had been willing to hand in the petition four weeks ago, but Janus had insisted on continuing their research. In the end, Janus must have been convinced that this was not just something Remus had set his mind on to stop from brooding about the deaths of his friends. Remus wanted to get custody for Harry, the longer he contemplated this idea the more determined he got. By now, Remus could not imagine any other idea than having Harry grow up with him._

_The Lupin family had spent those last three months researching everything they could find on werewolf cases, custody cases, adoptions and Ministry laws. They still had yet to find a real loophole in the werewolf regulations, but nevertheless Janus had agreed to finally hand in the petition. They had searched all the files, reports and dusty old books Janus and Remus could think of, they would not find anything more on their case. He and Janus had gone through every scenario they could think of to prepare for the first hearing, hoping that nothing the caseworkers asked would come as a surprise. As unprepared as Remus felt, it was now or never._

_Taking one last deep breath of the lukewarm early spring air, Remus pushed open the doors and entered the Department of Family Regulations._

_After some quick questions for directions, he found himself in front of the office where the hearing would take place. Just as he raised his hand to knock, the door opened and an elderly wizard, dressed in standard black robes opened the door. He raised a questioning eyebrow at Remus, but didn't make any move to greet him. After some moments of uncomfortable silence, Remus was sure no greeting would come, so he decided to make the first move._

_"Good morning. My name is Remus Lupin, I have an appointment with Mr. Stuart Nichols at __nine o'clock__. It concerns the custody case for Harry Potter."_

_"I am Stuart Nichols."_

_ With this, the wizard turned around and left the door open behind him, the only gesture to enter the room he gave to Remus. Remus stepped in and closed the door behind him, then sat down in a chair Nichols indicated. Just then, the door opened and two witches entered the room as well. Not even looking up, Nichols gestured at them._

_"Ms. Levins and Mrs. Smith, caseworker and chief caseworker of our Department. They're here for protocol reasons. Take a seat, ladies, let's get over with this."_

_The two witches sat down without another word of greeting and Remus felt an uneasy feeling spread through his stomach. It was the day before full moon, he had already guessed that the Ministry had intentionally chosen this date because it was when he was struggling hardest against the wolf's pull. The behaviour so far shown by the three caseworkers in front of him only confirmed this concern. If Nichols didn't want to spend more time on his case then necessary, he already seemed to have his mind set on a certain decision. And somehow Remus had the feeling that he would not like that decision at all._

_Nichols shifted some papers in front of him, then for the first time since Remus had entered the room looked him straight in the eye._

_"So you've decided to petition for custody over Harry Potter."_

_He shook his head, adding only to Remus' growing unease with this small gesture, and looked into the file that was placed on the table in front of him._

_"Remus Jonathan Lupin, registration number 014-1965-A-7?"_

_Knowing fully well what message was being carried by reading out this number, Nichols looked up at Remus again and could not hide the grin that had started to spread across his face. It was not the kind of grin one gave when they were jesting, Remus knew that._

_Remus fought hard against his urge to beat that arrogant grin out of Nichols' face. Trust the Ministry of Magic to bring up his registration number before even starting the hearing. This little combination of numbers and letters that had, ever since he had received the bite, regulated and limited his life. The Ministry had their hands on him with this number, it was to be found straight next to his name in any legal papers concerning him, marking him as an outcast of the wizarding society right from the start. The fact that Nichols brought it up now, with that smug grin on his face, didn't bode well, and Remus realized that this was exactly what the caseworker had wanted. _

_No space for illusions, in this room Remus was the one who pleaded for something, and it was in the hands of the Ministry to grant him his wish or to deny it. And judged from the superior grin on Nichols' face and the completely disinterested looks on the faces of the two other caseworkers, it was not granting what they had come here for._

_Tensing ever so slightly, Remus held Nichols' smug gaze and as calmly as possible nodded. Nichols checked off a box on his parchment and began the questioning. Remus tried to answer the older wizard's questions as truthful and calmly as possible, but with the approaching moon and his steadily growing anger towards the man in front of him, it was not the most easiest of tasks. Not that it made any difference anyway, the decision had already been made before Remus had even arrived at the Ministry. One didn't need to be a genius to come to that conclusion._

_The hearing didn't take half as long as any of his rehearsals with Janus had done. Remus did his best to bring the caseworkers' attention to the fact that Harry was being neglected by his relatives, but he soon had to realized that the three had not come to hear anything about Harry's circumstances of living at all. Over and over again, they repeated the Ministry regulations, asking what legal basis he had for his claim. The only flaw in Remus' arguments, and he had no chance whatsoever to hide it. Even worse, he had no chance at all to bring forth his own arguments, to underline and emphasize the reasons why he saw the need to take Harry in. _

_Every single of his attempts to talk about his relationship to the boy, his close friendship with James and Lily or even his emotional and financial capability to take care of a child were blocked immediately._

_When Remus left the room fifteen minutes later he knew that he had lost. No, not really lost. Losing meant that you had a fair chance of winning to begin with. Which he had never had. This meeting had only taken place for formal reasons, and so that the three caseworkers had something to laugh about in the pub after work._

_Remus resisted the urge to smack a dent into the door as it closed behind him, instead he calmly made his way out of the corridor and into the entrance area. Quickly deciding that apparating was out of question for the time being, Remus went over to the public fireplace and flooed home. The last thing he needed today was splinching himself up while apparating, he really didn't need the embarrassment to find half of his body in __Kent__ and the other half in __South Africa__. He wouldn't give those Ministry idiots that satisfaction._

_As Remus stumbled out of the fireplace in the living room, the first thing happening was that he tripped over the rug that was lying in front of it. The rug that had been lying there for years, the rug that had never been an obstacle before. But no, today of all days he had to stumble over that blasted thing._

_Barely holding his balance, Remus finally let his anger boil over, grabbed the rug and threw it into the corner. It his the vase on the windowsill, but the vase only tumbled a little and didn't fall. Angry at himself that he didn't seem able to at least achieve the aim of breaking something, Remus crossed the room with quick strides, grabbed the vase and smashed it against the wall over the fireplace with all his strength._

_With a satisfying sound, it exploded into a myriad of shards, the dried flowers that the vase had been holding circling down to the floor. Not caring the slightest for the mess he had just created, Remus left the room. He had hated that vase anyway._

_Remus barely let his emotions get the better of him, especially not in times approaching the full moon. Though the wolf's pull on his reserve was strong during those days, Remus had learned at an early age what the price of giving in to his anger could be. And if he had forgotten about that after years of control and patience, the full moon after Halloween last year had been the perfect reminder of the possible outcomes. _

_But today Remus could not help it, he was fuming, he wanted to break something, wanted to cause damage. Preferably not break something but someone, smashing the slimy grin out of Nichols' face was on top of his list at the moment. Frustrated that this wish would not be granted to him just as well, Remus slammed the doors shut behind him, kicked the table in the entrance hall over and stormed upstairs. His father was not home and would not return until some hours later, so Remus could let his anger out for the moment. He'd tidy up later._

_On his way to the upper floor, Remus ran into something solid that was not supposed to stand in the middle of the staircase, and only after some moments he realized that he had run into Janus. His older brother was swaying dangerously on the stairs, the impact had caught him by surprise. As soon as Remus realized that Janus had regained his balance, he continued his stampede through the house, finally reaching his bedroom and slamming the door shut behind him._

_Janus just stared after him, completely paralyzed for the moment. One part of his mind was telling him that he had just seen Remus, his younger brother who never seemed to lose his composure, knocking over the furniture in the entrance hall and then nearly throwing him down the stairs in an attempt to run upstairs. _

_Another part of his mind told him that of all the things Remus Jonathan Lupin would ever do, throwing over furniture and knocking down family members were very low on the list. Rather impossible, to be precise._

_It took him some moments to decide which part of his brain was winning over the other, then realization dawned. Today had been the custody hearing. And from the way Remus had been behaving, it had not gone well. _

_"Great, just great. Why does it always have to be me?"  
Janus desperately wished that his father was home, he would know what to say and what to do. Janus had no experience in consoling Remus, there had never been a situation in which he had needed to do it. To be honest, he had no experience in consoling anybody, and not very much experience in being the receiving end of a consoling process._

_But Richard was still at work, and he'd be in his office until at least four in the afternoon. Janus knew that he and Remus were not as close as they could be, and actually his brother's state of mind was not his concern at all, but he also knew that Richard would not appreciate it very much to come home from work and find his house in ruins and his youngest son as a sobbing heap in the middle of destruction._

_With a sigh he made his way up the stairs._

_It seemed as if it was up to him to check up on Remus now._

_Even if Janus had not seen where Remus had been heading, the upturned furniture of the hall pointed clearly in the direction of Remus' room. Janus knocked._

_No answer._

_With a shrug, he knocked again._

_"Remus?"_

_Still, no answer._

_"I'm coming in now. So whatever you're doing, make sure that you're decent in three seconds."_

_He received no answer to that little jest, so he opened the door and took a look at the room._

_Judged from the traces Remus had left in the house, he had not been very careful with his own furniture either. His bedside-table was knocked over, and the pillows and blankets from his bed were strewn across the room. Remus was standing in with his back to Janus, looking out of the window. He didn't make a move to turn around._

_"I guess it didn't go well today?"_

_As an answer, Remus' shoulders twitched and for a moment, Janus thought that he was starting to cry. He was surprised however, when the sounds he heard were not sobs or hiccups, but laughter. Remus was laughing. Finally, he turned around and looked Janus straight in the eye._

_Janus had never been very good at reading his brother's face, but right now he really could not tell whether the look in his eyes was angry, sad or simply insane. Though Janus feared it might be the last._

_"Remus, are you alright?"_

_Remus only laughed loudly for some moments, in fact he laughed so hard that he was holding his left side with his hand. However, what it was that had made him laugh himself into stitches remained a mystery to Janus. After some moments, Remus sank down onto the windowsill and the laughter subsided, his expression changing into one of barely back-held anger and an unbelievable underlying sadness._

_"Am I alright? Are you kidding? Did it go well today? What do you think? It's all been in vain Janus, they didn't even want to listen to me, they didn't even give me a chance to explain my reasons. Heck, they didn't even show any interest into the fact that Harry is neglected with his relatives. The only reason why they even bothered with meeting me today was protocol reasons. Oh, and of course the chance to have a good laugh on my account. A werewolf claiming custody for the Boy Who Lived, after all that's been unheard of so far. _

_At least going there makes some sense, we all could do with something to laugh about, don't you think?"  
Janus picked up a pillow from the mattress, threw it out of the way and sat down, facing Remus._

_"And what do you intend to do now?"_

_Remus laughed harshly._

_"What is there for me to do? In a couple of hours, an owl from the Ministry will arrive, telling me where exactly I can put my petition for custody. It's over Janus, we lost. No, not we, I lost. I'm sorry that you've wasted all your time helping me, you could have used it better doing something else. Anything else."_

_Janus leaned back and stared at his younger brother intensely. He might not know Remus as well as older brothers normally knew their younger siblings, but he had learned to understand a thing or two about Remus in the past. One of those things being that it was not advisable to leave him alone to deal with his moods once they got hold of him. _

_And he didn't intend to put his father through something like the last November again._

_"So that's it Remus? You tried it once and now you can lean back with a clean conscience, saying that you did everything in your power to help Harry. Not very convincing, if you ask me."_

_"Oh, and who did ask you? Honestly Janus, I had thought that especially you would understand it. You know better than anybody else in this family how the Ministry works. I tried to show them that their prejudices are wrong, that a werewolf isn't necessarily a monster for thirty days a month, they didn't listen to me. That's all there was I could do, what else is left to do now?"  
Janus shook his head and tried to clear his thoughts. He didn't really know what to make of his brother's words, they didn't make sense at all._

_"Remus, just tell me one thing: Is this whole custody thing something you do for Harry, something you do to grant him a better life than he has with his relatives, or is it something you do for yourself?"_

_Remus looked up, confusion showing on his face._

_"What?"_

_"I guess you understood me quite well."  
"Why do you ask such a stupid question?"  
"Because Remus, I'm not so sure about it right now. If you tried to get custody to show the Ministry about their failures concerning werewolves, then I agree with you: you failed. But I would not have expected differently. What confuses me is that I never thought this was about you. _

_From what you told me, I thought that you did this for Harry, to get him out of there. Not because the Ministry attitude insulted your pride as a human being."_

_Remus crossed his arms in front of his chest in a defensive gesture._

_"Of course I did this for Harry and not for myself."_

_"Then pray tell me, why do you give up so quickly? It's been the first hearing in your case, did you honestly expect them to hand Harry over the moment you arrived at the Ministry? Did you really expect them to treat you in a fair way? If you did, then I guess you have not listened to anything I said during the last three months._

_Of course they did not listen to you. Of course they kept on rambling about the Ministry regulations concerning werewolves. Of course they were enjoying to point out why you had no chance on earth to ever get custody for Harry._

_And do you know why?  
Because they wanted you to react like that. They wanted you to give up straight after this hearing. It spares them a lot of work if you're already so discouraged by your first attempt that you'll never think about trying it again. You're reacting just the way they expected you to react, you walked right into their trap._

_But I had thought different about you, Remus._

_During the last three months, I got the impression that you really wanted custody for Harry, that you really wanted the boy to grow up with you. And now you want to give up, just because the first thing you tried failed? Don't you think Harry has deserved better than that, don't you think that you owe him to try anything you can think of?"_

_If Janus had planned to coax Remus out of his reserve with those words, he had failed just like Remus thought he had. His younger brother merely pulled his knees towards his chest and looked out of the window._

_"What is there that I can possibly do about it, Janus? The Ministry will never allow me to take custody for Harry, they made that quite clear today. And maybe they're right about it."  
Janus had never been the most emotional person in the world, but at that moment, something inside of him snapped. He had never been extremely protective of Remus, knowing fully well that his brother had learned to take care of himself at an early age and had his father to aid him whenever he needed, but Janus knew that this was something Remus would not get out of alone. Trying to increase his presence in the room, Janus got up from the bed, walked over to Remus and came to a halt in front of him._

_"Back to self-pity, aren't we? Well, let me tell you something: The Remus Lupin I used to know would have never given up that easily. And do you know why? Because the Remus Lupin I used to know always fought for what he believed right._

_For so many years, you've not let anybody bring you down because of something you could not help, and now you're willing to let them bring you down because of something you can very much help? Tell me, where did the Remus I knew go to?  
So they turned down your first petition for custody. So what? Write another one, ask for another caseworker. And if they turn that down as well, then write another. And another, and another. The Ministry might not notice how serious you are about this right now, and maybe not in a month or two, but they'll definitely never notice it if you give up now. What do you want to tell Harry if he ever asks you? That you've given up so easily?_

_You've always been a fighter Remus, and I just don't believe you if you give up now. That's not you, Remus._

_It's up to you now, if you say you give up then I'll never talk about it again. But then don't expect me to pity you when you can't stand yourself anymore because you realize that you've given up too easily. And don't expect me to stand by and watch how you dig yourself into a depression again."_

_At this, Remus only laughed harshly._

_"As if you had ever cared about me or my state of mind."_

_Janus pulled his brother around by the shoulders and forced him to look into his eyes. His gaze was every bit threatening and most people in the right state of their mind would flinch under that stare._

_"I might not have been there last time, but I don't intend to stand by and watch it happen again. I promised dad that I would not let you down, and I don't intend to break that promise._

_And even more important than that, I don't intend to let dad scrape your bloody remains from that blasted shack once more because the wolf has shred you into pieces. Tomorrow is full moon, don't you think I know what will happen if you go through it in the state you're in right now?_

_If you don't believe I do this for you, then I can't blame you. I've never given you any reason to believe otherwise. But you can rely on the fact that I won't allow this to happen to dad once more. Do you honestly think he likes worrying about you? Sure, he'll accept your decision and he'll also do his best to deal with the consequences, just like he has always done for you. But do you really think that it's his sole purpose in life to catch you when you've once more fallen? Do you think he has the strength to go through this over and over again? I won't let that happen again Remus, not if I can help it. Especially not when I know it's not necessary. Not here, not now, get me?_

_So for fuck's sake get a grip on yourself and get your ass down into the living room. Write a new petition even before they have turned the first one down officially, that would be something reasonable for a change. _

_But if you prefer to stay here and brood over the unfairness of life, I won't hinder you. I just tell you that it won't help you at all. It's up to you now."_

_Remus stared at Janus in complete and utter shock. Whatever reaction he had expected from his brother, it definitely had not been this. Rubbing his palms across his face he desperately tried to think of the best thing to do now. _

_Of course, Janus was right. Remus was not the kind of person to give up something he believed right, but then again this was the Ministry of Magic he was fighting against. How on earth could he possibly stand a chance to ever get custody for Harry when his opponents had already made their decision. _

_But wasn't that exactly what Janus had been talking about? Whether he liked it or not, Janus was right. Remus would preferably go to hell before he ever admitted that openly, but his brother had a point in what he had said. This was not about him or his lycanthropy, this was about Harry. He owed it to James and Lily to fight for the boy. If he didn't try, he would not be able to look into a mirror anymore._

_Remus looked up, some of his previous resolution returned into his eyes. Slowly he nodded._

_"Then let's find out what you did wrong with the first petition."_

_He got up from the windowsill and walked out of his room. Janus took some moments to process this information, then he ran after him._

_"What do you mean 'what I did wrong'?"_

_Remus' voice from the staircase sounded slightly too mischievous for Janus' liking._

_"Well, you've been formulating that blasted thing. And at some point we have to start thinking about what we did wrong. And now move your ass down into the living room, I don't have all day."_

_Janus sighed and rolled his eyes. Sudden mood changes close to full moon were another thing he'd never get used to when his brother was concerned. He hadn't decided yet whether he liked his brother in this new-found mood, but somehow he got the feeling that he'd be in for an interesting ride._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Many hours southwards of Azkaban, in a deep woodland area somewhere in Scotland, a small stream was flowing merrily through the thick undergrowth and bushes. The bushes provided protection from the sides, and the high treetops with their thick cover of leaves shielded it from any eyes that came looking down from above.

Not that there would have been anything unusual to discover, had anybody by chance been looking at the stream at this point of time. At least not if the watchers had not known what they were looking for.

Amidst the flora of the Scottish forest, a large animal was sitting besides the stream. From a distance, any observe might have mistaken it for a bear and turned to leave without attracting its attention, only a closer look revealed the creature as a large, black dog.

The dog had been running southwards for hours, driving his canine body to the edge of exhaustion, until it had had no strength left to continue his mad chase and thirst and fatigue had claimed the upper hand.

Of course dogs had no sense for the concept of time like humans use it, hours and minutes were unknown to them, but this animal was not completely what it appeared to be. A part of his being was human, human of wizarding origin, to be precise.

This human part of his mind had screamed his protests against the rest, it knew well that it was chased. But as it happens so often, the bodily needs had overruled the mind's protests and now it lay, still panting, on the small riverbank. 

It had drunk from the water greedily, indulging in the luxury of having more water than it could possibly drink as a resource, and now it was hanging his front paws into the cold flow of water. Its entire body was hurting from the race across the country, but its paws were hurt most badly. They were swollen and callused, bruised and scratched. The dog knew that as soon as it would start running again, the pain would become more and more unbearable by the minute.

But now it was too tired to think about running any further, it knew that the rest it was taking was deserved as well as necessary.

As it lay there on the ground, the dog could not help but let his human thoughts take control of his mind again.

If it wanted, the dog could change its shape any moment and resume its original form of a male, human wizard, but this was not an option at the moment. Even if exhaustion had not made the change more difficult than it normally was, the man knew that his canine form provided the only protection he had from the people who were chasing him. 

Unable to assume his human form, the animagus allowed his human thoughts to run freely in his mind. Unpleasant as they were.

It was still a mystery for him why he had run away from those who had freed him from his prison. Even though also his human mind had no precise estimation on the time he had spent in Azkaban, he knew that it had been for years. And though his animagus abilities had provided him with a refuge not available to most of the other prisoners, the dreaded wizarding prison had left its marks on his mind.

Deep inside of his mind, he had known that he had encountered men like those who had freed the prisoners before. But at that moment, they had been his only chance for freedom, and he had not had a chance or the time to dwell on it. Whether those men had been his enemies or his allies in his life before Azkaban had not mattered at that moment, they were giving him a chance for freedom and he did not intend to let that chance pass unused.

The warden who had entered his cell that night had had a slightly different perspective of those events. 

After it had stilled its thirst, the dog had spent long minutes in a desperate attempt to clean his muzzle from the dried blood. But no matter how hard it tried, the coppery taste on his tongue and inside of its muzzle did not go away. It lingered there, reminding him of the desperate moments of his escape.

The man did not remember whether he had killed before, but the impassive feeling with which he had looked at the corpse told him that death was no new experience for him.

In fact, the man did hardly remember anything from his life before Azkaban at all. Most important, he didn't even know how he had been captured and brought to prison. Memories were like shadows, dusting away whenever he tried to get a hold of them.

All he remembered was the ever-boiling anger inside of him, the anger that had been merely a kindling flicker inside by the time he had been delivered to hell, the anger that had steadily grown over the years until it had become an irate fire that was burning deep inside of him. 

With a painful whine, the dog rose to his feet again and, at first slowly limping then steadily getting faster and steadier, took up his run through the forest again, his mind still filled with human thoughts.

He might have forgotten most of his life in the hands of the Azkaban guards, but one memory had remained. The one memory in which he had anchored his sanity throughout the years. The one memory that would grant him revenge.

He didn't know what kind of person he had been before his imprisonment.

He didn't know how he had been caught.

He didn't know how he had managed to survive and to escape.

But he knew he would get his revenge, that was all he had survived for. 

And while the dog, the illegal animagus about whom the wizarding world didn't know, the man who was hunted under the name of Sirius Black, ran through the forest, only one thought went through his mind.

Remus Lupin. Wolf. Werewolf. Once friend. Once bound as pack mate. Now the enemy. His prey. His way to get revenge.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Remus looked at Harry with an exasperated sigh. He did remember the time when he had been at Harry' age, and he also remembered Janus at that age. But either it had completely slipped his mind, or he and his brother had never been as exhausting as Harry was.

Remus made a mental not to apologize to his dad, just in case.

This morning, Harry had had his second Quidditch lesson in Highley. And though it had taken nearly the entire morning, the boy had not shown any signs of fatigue when Richard had brought him into the bookstore after lunch. 

Remus knew that a bookstore was not the best place for an active child like Harry was to spend his afternoons, but twice a week it could not be avoided.

Harry loved books, no doubt about that, but he preferred to read in the evening, before he went to bed and not in the afternoon while the sun was still up.

Normally, Remus made him use this enforced time in the bookstore to do his homework, but even that had been a struggle today.

Harry visited the local muggle elementary school, together with David and Eric. Though all three of them were wizarding children, neither of their parents had the time to home-school them as it was common in wizard families. Eric's father Martin was a single-raising parent and Remus' co-worker in the bookstore, and David's parents both worked until mid-afternoon, so the children went to school with the muggle kids in town. Remus knew it was a struggle for them not to let anything slip about their magical origins, though there were quite a few wizarding families living in the outskirts of Highley their presence was carefully hidden from the muggle inhabitants. So far, it had worked.

Drawing his thoughts back to reality, Remus noticed that Harry had left his desk while he had been thinking. Only minutes ago the boy had been sitting right here in front of him, kicking his feet at the legs of the table in an attempt to express his anger about being forced to sit still.

The constant knocking sound had not helped Remus to concentrate on the bookkeeping he had been attempting, but while he had been lost in his thoughts for a moment he had not even realized that it had stopped.

Mumbling a few choice words, Remus put his quill aside, marked the line he had just been calculating and left the room in search of his restless godson. Harry was nowhere in the backrooms of the store and neither in the small storage room. That meant he had gone out into the public area of the store, and though Remus had not explicitly forbidden him to do so, Harry knew that Remus didn't approve of him roaming the store without supervision.

When Remus entered the store through the small door behind the counter, he found Martin in front of the shelf with Introductory Texts on Defence, deeply engaged in a discussion with a customer. Claire, the co-owner of the shop besides Remus, was standing at the cash register and just handed out the change to the customer in front of her. When the man had left the store, Remus addressed Claire.

"Have you seen Harry? He must have slipped out while I have not been paying attention for a moment."

Claire smiled knowingly, but shook her head. She knew Harry quite well by now and had witnessed a few of Remus' attempts to make him do his homework silently while the boy had been more interested in exploring the store.

"No, haven't seen him. But I haven't been paying attention to him, I had a customer."

Remus sighed and let his eyes wander across the store.

Martin was holding out an old volume to the customer in front of him, pointing between the book in his hand and the one the customer was holding while he explained something. The small corner with books on Potions behind where Martin was standing was empty. 

Remus sighed again and rounded the counter. Harry knew perfectly well that he was not allowed to leave the store without telling anybody about it, so he had to be somewhere in here.

The child was not hiding behind any of the presentation tables in the middle of the store, and neither was he in front of the shelf with the books on Transfiguration where he normally enjoyed looking at the illustrations of misplaced Transfiguration spells. That left the two shelves with literature on advanced defence, but still the boy was nowhere to be seen.

That left only one place for Harry to be in, and Merlin help him if Remus really found him in there.

With a few quick strides, Remus crossed the room and walked through the open door of a small side room. He arrived just in time to see his godson in front of one of the shelves, balancing on tip-toes on a shaky three-legged stool. He was obviously trying to pull out a book from one of the highest shelves and had not realized that Remus had entered the room.

Suppressing his anger for the moment, Remus quickly went over to Harry, grabbed the boy by his waist and pried his fingers away from the spine of the book. Lifting Harry with his left arm and holding the book in his right hand, he went over to the table in front of the window and placed Harry on top of it, the book next to him.

Harry looked at Remus with wide eyes. Remus was furious, that was plain to see and Harry knew he was in for it now.

"What in Merlin's name did you think you were doing?"

Remus' amber eyes were hard and so was his voice. Harry flinched and tried to look away, but Remus' gaze didn't allow him. His green eyes misted over and his chin began to tremble as the child searched for an explanation he knew he wouldn't find.

"I…I…Remus, I just wanted…"

"Harry, what have I told you about this room?"

Again, Harry tried to look away.

"I just wanted to…"  
Remus took the boy's chin into his hand and forced Harry to look into his eyes again.

"What have I told you about this room Harry?"

Harry sighed and looked at his feet.

"That I'm not allowed in here."

Remus nodded.

"And why?"

"Because it's dangerous."

Remus pulled the chair Harry had been balancing on over and sat down so that he boy had no chance to avoid his eyes.

"And if you know that you're not allowed in here because it's dangerous, then please tell me why you sneaked off, came here and tried to read one of the books."

Harry's chin trebled more and more. Remus hardly ever got angry with him, and normally when he was angry he tended to shout a little until he had calmed down again. This low and cold manner of speaking was completely new behaviour and Harry didn't really know how to handle it.

"I wanted to look at the book you and Claire have been talking about this morning."

Remus grabbed the book and held it in front of Harry.

"This one?"

Harry only nodded.

"And why didn't you ask Claire or me if you could look at it?"  
"Because you wouldn't have allowed it."

Remus nodded.

"That's right. We would not have allowed it, because this book is dangerous. Look at the title, Harry."

His chin still trembling, Harry raised his glassy eyes and looked at the front page of the book.

"C-Cursed Writings o-of G-Grindelwald's Reign."

Remus realized that Harry was close to breaking into tears, but at the moment he was far too angry to care. There were only a few ground rules Harry had to mind, and one of those was that if Remus forbid him to do something, he better stuck to that interdiction.

Remus angrily rose from the stool and put the book back onto the shelf. Then he turned around towards Harry again. The boy still looked at his feet.

"Harry, that book is dangerous. If you had accidentally read the wrong parts, you could have been cursed and nobody might have realized it in time.

I told you not to come into this room, you disobeyed. I told you not to read any of the books in the store, let alone the ones in this room, without asking first. You disobeyed again. I'm really disappointed Harry, I had thought that I had raised you differently."

Harry's shoulders tensed. He had not wanted to disappoint his godfather.

"I'm sorry."

"You'd be even more sorry if I had not found you before you opened the book."

"I…I didn't think that…"

"For sure you didn't think! Otherwise you would not have come here in the first place! And now I don't want to hear anything more from you."

During this last statement, the anger Remus felt finally found its way into his voice and the words came out as a shout. That was all it took to send Harry into tears. He sobbed loudly and the tears started to fall down his cheeks.

Remus shook his head. He didn't like to see Harry like this, but the boy needed to understand that what he had done had been wrong and highly dangerous. Remus had thought that he could trust Harry not to open a book without asking, especially after he had told him more than once how dangerous that could be.

He went over to Harry, lifted the child from the table again and carried him out of the room. Claire and Martin were busy with placing books back into their proper places and shot him curious looks as he went by with a crying child over his shoulder. Noticing that Remus and Harry had come out of the small side room, Claire got worried.

"Did something happen?"

Remus just shook his head.

"He wanted to read the cursed Grindelwald texts and didn't really like being caught in the act."

And without further explanation, Remus went back into the back rooms of the store. Claire could not help but sympathize with Harry. Though Remus loved the boy more than anything, he also knew about the importance of punishment. And though Harry would never be punished physically by his godfather, the rest of the day would surely not be pleasant for him.

When they reached the back office from which Harry had sneaked off earlier, Remus put Harry down on his chair, then went to close the door. Harry's eyes widened a little between his tears as he saw Remus locking the door and pocketing the key.

Turning back towards his godson, Remus sighed inwardly. He hated punishing Harry.

"Alright. I hope you know that I'll have to punish you for that stunt you pulled. You disappointed me greatly today Harry, and therefore this door will remain locked and you won't go out into the store or the other backrooms again until I'm convinced that I can trust you again. Furthermore, there won't be any flying for a week and you'll go straight to your room every evening after dinner. No TV, no reading in the living room, no chess. For one week. 

And for the rest of the afternoon, you'll silently do your homework while I finish these accounts. Understood?"

Harry nodded and took up his pen, pretending to focus on his spelling exercises, though Remus doubted that he could see anything through his still misted eyes. He handed Harry a handkerchief and then sat down at his desk again.

As he had expected, Harry remained silent for the rest of the afternoon, listlessly scribbling down his homework, and he remained silent even when Remus packed away his folders and told him to pack his bag.

With a sigh, Remus unlocked the door and Harry went out of the room without any comment. Claire and Martin greeted the boy with sympathetic looks and Remus was just about to comment this when a voice from the door interrupted him.

"Have you been crying, Harry? What in Merlin's name has happened to you, little one?"

Looking up, Remus much to his surprise saw that Janus had just entered the store and was now crouching in front of Harry. The child didn't answer his uncle's question and merely flung his arms around Janus' neck and held on tightly, burying his face in Janus' shirt. 

With a puzzled expression, Janus lifted Harry up and walked over towards Remus. His brother merely mouthed 'I'll explain later' at Janus before he asked his own question.

"What are you doing here, Janus?"

Janus shrugged his shoulders, at least as far as it was possible with Harry clinging onto him.

"Nothing to do at work, so I thought I'd visit the little one and maybe fly with him for an hour or so."

Remus shook his head.

"No flying for Harry today."

Janus raised an eyebrow.

"Well, then we'll play chess."

Remus shook his head again.

"No chess either. But let's go, I'll explain later. Bye Claire, Martin."

The two brothers and Harry left the store and made their way towards Remus' house quite quickly. When they had entered, Harry immediately struggled against Janus' hold and ran upstairs as soon as his uncle had set him back on the floor.

Following his brother into the kitchen, Janus leaned against the counter and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Now tell me."

Remus looked up from behind the refrigerator door and rolled his eyes.

"It's a long story."

Janus sat down on top of the counter and grabbed an apple.

"Then just give me the short version. What on earth have you done to the little one?"  
Remus put the ingredients for dinner onto the counter next to his brother and started to pull out pots and knives.

"I haven't done anything to him. He sneaked off into the side room and tried to read a tome of cursed writings, just because he was curious. He had not even been allowed to go in there and he was quite lucky that I found him before something serious happened. So I punished him."

"Remus Lupin in parenting mode? Wow, that's something new."

"Don't tease me, I didn't like it at all. But Harry needs to learn that when I forbid him to stay away from something dangerous he'd better stick to it. He's angry and upset now, but he'll get over it.

At the moment I'm more interested in the real reason why you are here."

Janus choked on his apple and gave Remus a look the other could not interpret. Afraid? Angry? Guilty? Remus could not tell and after a moment, Janus got his facial expression under control again.

"I told you, I just dropped by."

Remus shook his head.

"Janus, you don't just drop by. Especially since you've told me only two days ago that you're quite busy at work at the moment."

Janus shrugged.

"Not really, at least not anymore. Can't I just drop by and look after my little brother?"  
Remus raised an eyebrow but bit back any further comment. Instead, he handed Janus a knife.

"Well, if you're only dropping by then at least make yourself useful and chop the onions."

Janus did as he was told and both men worked in silence for twenty minutes. And while Remus was inwardly contemplating whether he had been too harsh with Harry's punishment Janus pondered completely different thoughts.

Of course he had not just dropped by, but no way could he tell Remus the real reason for his visit. The raid in Azkaban was now three days ago, and still no sign of the escaped Death Eaters had been found. 

Further investigations in the raided prison had shown that all those prisoners who had not been in either the mental or the physical condition to leave the island had been locked up in a large room in Azkaban's basement. Why the raiders had taken the time to move them and lock them up instead of just killing them remained a mystery so far. Janus could not believe that the Death Eaters had grown soft when confronted with their former partners in crime, especially when killing them would have meant salvation compared to their current state. But then again, maybe that was the answer. No matter how hard he tried, the way Death Eater minds worked was too big of a puzzle for him.

Also, Janus knew that at the moment there were far more important things to worry about than why the Death Eaters had not killed the remaining prisoners.

The ones who had managed to escape were still out there, and so far no sign had even indicated where they might have gone to. And amongst them was Sirius Black.

Janus had little doubt that his brother's former friend would seek Remus out to finally complete what he had attempted six years ago. Whatever Black might intend to do in the near future, Remus was a very probable target for him. Not to mention Harry, the boy was absolutely defenceless against a fully educated wizard.

On his way here, before he had fetched Remus and Harry from the store, Janus had checked the wards around Remus' house again and had reinforced them. Some of the protection charms had worn off a little during the last couple of months and Janus didn't intend to take any chances with Black on the loose. He had also added a couple of other wards, just in case.

If it was possible, Janus would want to keep an eye on Remus and Harry whenever possible, especially when they were home alone with nobody else around. But he knew exactly that Remus would grow suspicious if he came to visit everyday without a proper reason, and if there was one thing he couldn't do then it was telling Remus about it.

It was already bad enough that his brother had linked Harry's nightmares to Death Eater activities, Death Eater attacks that had really taken place.

Janus' work was classified as top-secret, and as much as he wanted it he could not tell Remus about it, neither about the two Death Eater attacks nor about the raids in Azkaban.

It wasn't that he didn't trust Remus with such a secret, though he truly didn't trust him completely, but most important it was a question of principles. When Janus had entered the Department of Mysteries, he had vowed not to tell anything about his work, not to anybody. That was the whole sense of that Department, outsiders were not to know who was working on what. Otherwise undercover operations were bound to fail. If he had wanted it differently, he could have joined the Aurors.

No, he definitely couldn't tell Remus about what had happened, he'd just do his best to protect his brother and Harry without them even noticing that they needed that protection. 

Though he had no idea how to manage that.

When the pasta was nearly done and the sauce was boiling on the stove, Remus finally broke the silence.

"Do you want to eat with us?"

Janus didn't miss the slightly teasing tone in his voice.

"Do you honestly think I'd help you with your cooking if I intended to leave before dinner? Remus, sometimes I really worry about your state of mind."

Remus laughed and put the plates on the table.

"I'd better call the pup, he must be starving by now."

But when Remus went into the hall and called for Harry to come down for dinner, he received no answer. Frowning slightly, Remus tried again to call his godson, with the same results. Janus stepped at his side.

"I guess Harry is still upset about his punishment."

Janus nodded.

"Let me try, I'll talk to him."

Hesitantly, Remus nodded.  
"Okay, I'll wait in the kitchen."

Janus watched him leave and then went upstairs towards Harry's room. He couldn't hear any sounds through the door, but even if Harry had been sleeping he must have heard Remus' call. The boy had always been a light sleeper. When Janus opened the door he found Harry lying on his bed, curled up into a ball and holding his old stuffed lion tightly in his arms.

"Harry? It's time for dinner."

The child stuck out his lower lip.

"'m not hungry."

The statement would have been more convincing if Harry's stomach had not growled loudly at that precise moment. With a small smile on his face, Janus sat down on the mattress next to the child.

"Somehow I doubt that's the reason. Come on Harry, what's wrong?"

Harry only shrugged and stared ahead, still clutching the lion tightly.

"Are you angry with Remus?"

This time, Harry shook his head.

Janus sighed. This wouldn't go very far if the boy refused to speak.

"So if you're hungry and not angry with Remus, then why don't you want to come down for dinner? Hey, I cooked for twenty minutes, do you want the good food to go to waste?"

Harry curled up more tightly.

"Remus doesn't want to see me."

Well, at least Harry had finally said something.

"You think he doesn't want to see you?"

A nod.

"Why?"

"Because he's angry."

Janus rubbed Harry's back encouragingly. 

"Just because he's angry with you doesn't mean he doesn't want to see you."

Harry stubbornly stuck out his lower lip again.

"Yes it does. He doesn't want me anymore."

"Harry, never say something like this. Of course Remus wants you here."

Harry only shook his head.

"No, he doesn't. He said he was disappointed. And he was angry. And he didn't talk to me, didn't look at me."

Janus rubbed his face with his hands and prayed to whatever deity listening that his daughter would skip the phase Harry was currently in.

"Harry, if Remus really didn't want you then he would not have cared whether you opened the book or not. He wouldn't have cared if you got hurt or not.

But he does care about you and he doesn't want you to get hurt. That's why he punished you. He got angry with you because you did something that was dangerous, and because he had told you not to do it. But Remus loves you, alright? More than anything. He doesn't want anything to happen to you and he did punish you because he wants you to remember this and not to do something as dangerous as that again. He's only worried about you."

Harry slowly nodded, but it was obvious that he still wasn't entirely convinced. Janus pulled him up into a sitting position and cuddled the small boy into his lap.

"Okay, I already figured out that you're not allowed to fly and play chess for a week. What else?"

Harry hugged Rory the stuffed lion tightly.

"'m not allowed out of the backroom of the store anymore. And I have to go to my room straight after dinner."

Janus smiled sympathetically. He knew exactly how much Harry treasured the hours in the living room with Remus before he went to bed. If anything, Remus definitely knew how to punish Harry so that he'd surely remember.

But then an idea occurred to him.

"Well, I can't do anything about the store, but I guess we'll be able to dodge our way around the other part of the punishment."

Green eyes looked at him curiously.

"How?"

"Well, Remus didn't say you had to be alone in your room, did he?"

Harry shook his head.

"There. What would you say if I promised you to drop by every night as long as your punishment lasts? If you're not allowed to leave the room after dinner, we'll find a way to spend the time here."

"Really?"

Janus smiled at Harry, not only because he had managed to lighten the boy's mood. By the promise of dropping by every evening, Janus had killed two birds with one stone. He'd be there to entertain the boy during his punishment, and also he had found the perfect excuse to have a closer eye on his brother and Harry in case Black decided to show up.

"Really. Okay?"

Harry nodded vigorously.

"Okay."

"Good. Now that this is settled, could we finally go down to eat something? I'm starving, you know?"

Harry smiled and slipped out of Janus' lap, pulling his uncle out of his room behind him.

Remus' eyes were wide in surprise when he saw his godson coming into the kitchen, smiling and pulling Janus behind him. But he decided not to comment on it, he would ask Janus what he had told Harry later. Right now he was content to see that the child wasn't brooding over his punishment anymore.

Harry must have been really hungry, he devoured his dinner without really chewing and only stopped after his second helping. Remus smiled and shook his head. If the boy continued eating in those amounts, he'd surely grow a couple of inches soon. Whether in width or height he wasn't completely sure, but with the amounts Harry usually ate, it would have to show sooner or later.

When they had finished and Harry put the plates into the sink for Remus to clean like he always did, Remus finally found a moment to ask Janus what he had done.

"What have you told Harry? He doesn't seem upset anymore at all."

Janus grinned smugly and whispered back.

"In the future you'll have to think carefully how you formulate your punishments, little bro'."

Remus shook his head and was just about to process that piece of information and think about an answer, when suddenly the lights in the room began to flutter and Janus' wand that had been lying on the table beside him began to buzz and vibrate. Behind them, Remus heard the sound of breaking china. Remus spun around and found Harry, bent over the shards of a broken plate. The child looked up with a scared look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Remus…I…the lights…"

Remus raised a calming hand and went over to his godson. He pulled Harry away from the broken plate and quickly mended it with a flick of his wand.

"It's alright pup, nothing happened."

He turned around to Janus, but his brother wasn't sitting on the kitchen table anymore. Moments later, he came back into the room, a worried frown on his face.

"Janus, what has just happened? Why did the lights go down and your wand began to buzz?"  
"I reinforced your wards today, my wand reacts to them. Same goes for the lights."

Remus just shook his head.

"And?"

"Alarms, Remus. Do you still have the portkey?"  
Remus nodded. Dumbledore had made a portkey set for Hogsmeade for him shortly after Harry had moved in. It was meant as a mean of escape in case of an attack on him or Harry, but other than renewing the charms on it every second month, Remus hardly thought about it.

"Yes, it's in the living room. Why? Janus, what does all that mean?"

Harry didn't really understand what the adults were talking about, but the tone in Remus' voice scared him. Something was happening, and Remus didn't know what. This was not right, Remus always knew what to do. And Janus was worried, which also scared Harry. Janus was never worried, he was always laughing and cheerful. And what was he talking about? Which alarms and wards?

Without really realizing it, Harry moved as close to Remus as possible, until his godfather finally picked him up and placed him on his hip. 

Now at least that was something that secured Harry. In Remus' arms he was safe, he had always been. His godfather wouldn't let anybody hurt him. 

Janus meanwhile had moved to the kitchen window and looked outside through a slit in the curtains.

"Janus?"

"Remus, get the portkey, use it to get you and Harry to Hogsmeade. Go to Hogwarts immediately, tell Dumbledore what happened, and if possible call Lucas and send him here."

"Janus, I will only ask once more. What. Is. Happening?"

Janus sighed and turned around.

"I don't have time to explain, I can't explain. I've set up additional wards around the house today and connected them with the lights in the house and my wand. Wards that get triggered by the Dark Mark."

He looked Remus straight in the eyes and saw understanding dawn in them. He nodded at Remus.

"Yes. Someone who carries the Dark Mark has just breached the outer barrier. Go now!"

"What about you?"  
Janus sighed.

"I can look after myself. Just do what I told you, there isn't any time left to discuss this. Go. Now!"

Remus nodded and adjusted Harry's weight on his hip. He headed straight into the living room to retrieve the crystal-paperweight that was the portkey to Hogsmeade.

He pulled the box down from the top shelf and opened the lid.

"Harry, I want you to grab the paperweight, at the same time that I do, alright?"  
Harry just nodded and tightened his hold on Remus' neck. He stretched his hand out to the crystal and together Remus and Harry touched the portkey and vanished.

Seeing that they were gone, Janus extinguished the lights and drew his wand. 

If there were Death Eaters, or worse Sirius Black, coming to get Harry and Remus, they would be disappointed. They'd only find a thoroughly pissed off Unspeakable who was prepared for their arrival.

Retreating into a corner of the room, Janus waited for his wand to signal him that the last barrier around the house was breached. He was prepared.

A/N for the week:

**A.Dee: Janus was never 'dumb'. *pouts*. I like Janus. He was maybe a little…ignorant about the whole lycanthropy thing. But you'll see soon that 'good old' Janus has not vanished completely, he still doesn't trust the wolf.**

I held myself back with the description of the corpses in Azkaban. After all, this is PG-13, I didn't want to scare you people off by describing intestines and other body parts lying around in detail. I guess you all got the impression of what it looked like. And yes, claw and bite wounds that somewhat look like they've been created by a canine. In Sirius' cell. Hmm…makes one think, doesn't it? You'll see what happened in a later chapter.

I can't tell what Sirius' role in the story is, because then it would be of no use to write that story at all. You'll soon get an impression of it, though. Remember the preview? Mwhahaha! And just as well I can't tell you whether everybody will survive the story (cause I haven't decided that yet, though I guess I surely won't kill Janus, because **I like him…*g*), you just have to be patient. Sorry. But I'm glad you're still sticking with the story, though.**

**sarahpeach: Thank you! I'm kinda sad that you only skimmed the Azkaban parts, they were such a fun to write, and I guess they also give some more insight into Janus and Lucas and their relationship. I guess Lucas will appear more often in the future. But if you didn't like all the Ministry detail things, I'll have to accept it. I have to admit that not sooo much happened this chapter. But the whole scene was driving to this last sentence, to the realization that those wardens were killed in Sirius' cell. You'll see what happened during the raid in a later chapter.**

And of course Sirius didn't stay in Azkaban once it was raided. Which prisoner would stay in prison if he had the possibility to flee, innocent or not (which I won't tell you now)? I mean…come on! But as I said – later chapters will tell what exactly happened in Sirius' cell, then you'll see.

Was that a threat? If I make Sirius a meanie…use my imagination…? OhOh. But – as I said – I can't tell you now. I just tell you that whatever happens, it'll have a good reason. And there's already been a small hint in an earlier chapter. I thought it was obvious, but maybe it was just 'FairyTale being too sublte to realize' again. 

Glad you liked the flashbacks, I'm still undecided whether I'll write the scene where Janus receives Sirius' howlers. Hmm…sounds fun!

Thanks again!

**thewalrus: Thank you! Yepp, Sirius is the best. At least in the flashbacks. Maybe I'll write a scene where you hear the howlers he sent Janus, I'm still thinking about it. Because he did send them, I told so in chapter 1. I guess a week, yes. After Wednesday 19th I have finished my end of the year tests, then I should have more time to write and update. But then I'll be moving soon, so I don't know if I'll be able to update THAT regularly in the future. But we'll see.**

If I find some good Remus/Harry non-slash, I'll definitely let you know. But I haven't really found any so far.

I hope that the flashbacks aren't that much of an ordeal. The reason why I have them is that I didn't want to write that custody struggle for chapters on and on, but I thought I needed an explanation why Remus could get the custody though he was a werewolf. As well as I needed to point out the somewhat strained emotional bonds in the Lupin family. I guess they'll only be there for the next one or two chapters, and then further on maybe once in a while a nice little scene from some time ago. Remus will have some reason to think about the time he spent with Harry. Just wait and see.

**tinytoonyloonyme: Thank you and no problem to let you know when I update. Don't worry if you didn't review once or twice, I know what problems ff.net can make.**

I only get the book sooner (and only by a day…) and cheaper because I work in a bookstore. But if things work out, I'll get the book for 12€ instead of 24,50€. YAY! Sometimes, I just know why I took that job.

But – New Zealand? Wow, I'd love to live there, at least for a while. And – isn't the book out on the same day in Australia and NZ as it is in GB? Surely you have bookstores there that import books from England, or don't you?

Thanks for guessing that English is my second language, but it isn't completely true. German is my first language, that much is right. But I didn't grow up speaking English as well, I started learning it at the age of 10, and then for 9 years at school. The rest comes from reading English books and stories and watching movies. But I'm glad that my English doesn't make native speakers flinch. *g*

**Alpha Wolfe: Thanks. Nope, Padfoot won't turn up somewhere in Azkaban. But he will turn up in a couple of chapters, be sure of that!**

**Eva: Thanks, I'm glad you liked the chapter. The story is indeed about to get started.**

Janus definitely has developed, but he's still not completely over his prejudices. Also, there will be scenes in the future when he'll have to decide between job and family, and sometimes humans make the wrong decisions…

Keep on wondering about Sirius. I won't tell. *g*. I can't tell, because it would completely spoil everything. I only say three things: Cruciatus, dungbombs, Voldemort. Mwhahaha! I know I'm being mean, but I just can't help it.

**Mageling: Thank you. But why do you find it sad, is it really? Oh my, what will you say once the really sad chapters come? *g***

**Moonlight: Of course Janus agreed, he's not a completely heartless bastard. At least not always. And yes, there will be some Vernon later on, but Remus won't take revenge on him. That would be a Sirius-thing, Remus has far too much self-control to do that. But there'll be a nice little scene with the Dursleys at the custody case. I didn't quite get the rest of your review. You were assuming that Sirius is the traitor, and that he's still innocent, but that he'll do something really bad to Harry? But no, Harry won't die, at least it's not planned yet. I don't intend to kill a defenceless seven-year old. The summary of my story can be somehow misleading, I realized. What I wanted to say with it was that something happens to Harry that leaves Remus on the hunt for the perpetrator. But I won't say more…dum-dum-di-dum…**

**Sailor **Sol**: Thank you, I'm glad my characters seem to be convincing. I was a little afraid because there are so many OCs in this story. And yes, it is a different approach to 'Harry-doesn't-live-with-the-Dursleys' firstly because there are so many other stories where Harry gets to live with Sirius earlier on (if you're searching for good ones, I'd advice 'Of Western Stars' by neutral, or 'The Bonds That Tie' and 'Tried and Convicted' by P.A.R.). Also, I had always been wondering why Remus had not tried to at least have contact with Harry. So I decided to give him a new perspective instead of letting him sink in a depression that results in him leading a life as an outcast.**

Also, I love Harry-Remus family stories and there are far too few of them out there.

**Nagini: I made somebody lose coherent speech? Oh, great! Thank you ever so much. And yes, Sirius. Or rather – angry Padfoot, judged from what the warden looked like. *g***

**sk8reagle: Well, the wardens died because they were in the way when the prison was raided. But I guess you'd rather want to know whether Padfoot really killed one of them, don't you? All I can say is that there'll be a later chapter which will tell more precisely what happened during the raid.**

Janus didn't completely changed his attitude, he just started using his brain for once. Guess he found out it's not just for decoration. *g*

Glad you liked the flashback-present shifts, I didn't want to make whole chapters of flashbacks. But they'll get less once the custody case is over, in one or tow chapters. Also because 'present' story will be much more interesting then…

Harry has wizarding friends, Eric and David are wizards, though I never said that explicitly. But they won't play a big role in the future (I don't even think they'll appear…), because it'll focus far more on the Lupin family, Harry and the ones who'll be interfering in their lives soon.

Thanks again.

**Starlette: All the better, so you got five chapters without waiting for an update. *g* Erm, Sirius' plan? To be completely honest, I don't know. I never intended to take that scene any further, it was just to underline that Remus and Janus never really got along when they were kids (and to bring Sirius finally into the story). But I guess he spiked their porridge with something that won't have immediate results, and will only show once they're nearly back in London. Just imagine a variety of different colours and maybe a little fur…**

Thank you so much, I'm so glad that Janus worked out well. There are so many fics where Remus has a brother who hates him, I just felt the need to give my version of this a little more depth. I was already scared that my readers would run away because I spent so much time with developing Janus in the first chapters.

Yepp…Azkaban…raid…dum-dum-dum *scary music* You're right.

**tima: I'm also glad you stumbled across this story, even more glad that you like it! Thank you! But the story actually won't reach so far to show Harry come to Hogwarts, it merely focuses on what will happen to him during the next couple of weeks. And though I agree that I could also see Harry in another house (any except Hufflepuff, actually), even if I'd take the story so far I don't think I could sort him somewhere else. No Ron, no Hermione, but so many OCs that would need to be developed. NOT AGAIN! *g* But as the story won't go that far, I won't worry about this now.**

**frizzy: Thank you! You'll see some Sirius…soon I guess. But I don't know yet when, maybe in a chapter or two.**

**xing@fanfiction.net: I agree with you on the lyrics, it was a decision resulting from a momentary mood. This is by no means a songfic, and I guess there won't be any more lyrics in it. Glad you liked the background I gave Remus, the question why he never seemed to try and get custody for him in canon was the main reason why I wrote this fic. But what do you mean with 'spacing for quotations' that is a little confusing? Just let me know so that I can make it better.**

I too am a big Sirius fan, but that has never prevented me from straining him emotionally J I can't tell you yet what his role will be, you'll have to wait and see, I'm afraid. But Snape? Hey, I'd never damage my favourite Potions master! *g* I am aware of my mistakes, some really result because I'm rushing the chapters out, but most of my mistakes are spelling mistakes that come from my lack of better knowledge. For example I really thought it was 'attack sides' and not 'sites'. I know that spelling mistakes are disturbing, but I'm German and my English is by no means perfect. So please let me know when I did wrong, and I'll try to correct it when I find the time.

Thank you, glad you liked my story so far, I hope it'll stay like that.

**Auri: Well, I actually really am a little stressed at the moment. It'll be better by Wednesday 19th, then I'll also find some time to review and respond to your emails. Sorry for any delay, I still appreciate to hear from you, just got no time to respond. But I haven't forgotten or ignore you on purpose! *cuddle***

**Jade **S**.: Thank you! Yeah, Remus getting upset over something like this just seems to give him some – normality. Finally, the guy has definitely earned some. Though I think you misinterpreted the last scene: Janus wasn't being a jerk on purpose. I intended to make it look as if he was, to give you all the impression that he's trying to talk Remus out of the custody idea and then have this rehearsal-thing as the somewhat relieving solution for it. Don't know if it worked like that, though, but that's how it was intended. Janus this time really is just trying to help Remus. I'm glad that their weird relationship makes at least some sense to you, I know it gets kind of confusing at some points. But you got it estimated alright.**

The claw marks and bite wounds on the guard definitely were from a dog. Maybe Padfoot has gone rabid in prison? Who knows? Well, okay I do, but I won't tell. Not yet. *g*

**Morgan **D**.: Thanks, I replied in an email, otherwise this would have gotten too long. But congratulations again on being the first and until now only reader who got the hint I was talking about! That has earned a gold star!**

But I have to admit that the detailed way in which you read my story scares me to some extend. You're bound to discover some of my careless mistakes there…OhOh!

But rest assured that paying attention to details could be a rewarding experience…*g*


	7. Dumbledore's Surprise

And before you even ask, the answer to the question at the end of the last chapter is no. No, it's not Snape. I was toying around with that idea for some time, but it's not Snape who has breached the wards. You'll get to know who it was in this chapter though. 

A/N for the week:

**Bookworm2000: Forgot you last time, please forgive me. Yepp, Sirius is out. Yepp, I guessed you and some others were waiting for this to happen. No, I'm not sure whether this is a good thing or not. As far as the rest of your review is concerned…you DO know that there are people who have experience in such matters? People who can help you? But anyway, violence against computers is neither helpful nor tolerable, especially if those computers provide you with your daily/weekly/monthly fanfic dosage. *g***

**Jess: Thank you! I'll definitely keep going with this story, I only hope I won't fail your high expectations.**

**Sailor **Sol**: I should have guessed that you have already read those three fics. I mean, which fanfic reader who likes to read about Harry and Sirius hasn't? And to be bluntly honest, P.A.R. gave me some ideas for Janus. I don't want to say that I stole the character from her (unfortunately she still refuses to publish Enemies *grumbles incoherently* and so I only know Orion from that little one-chaptered story), because I guess Remus' brother is something completely different from Sirius' brother, but I can't deny that Janus is kinda like I hope Orion will be. At least to some extend. I hope this made sense and didn't sound too weird for anybody who is not in my mind right now (which definitely aren't more than three persons at present, I assure you *rolls eyes back in her head* SHUT UP JANUS!!! *rolls eyes back* Alright, where were we?).**

You didn't really want poor little Harry to read that dangerous book, did you?

Sirius can't be bad? I agree that he's confused, but that doesn't mean he can't be bad. He can be bad to the bone, believe me. *g* I asked him.

You have SNOW??? Here in Germany we've not had real snow for ages, I really envy you. What would I give for a good snowball fight right now…but no, got to write a test in two hours. Darn!

Thanks a lot, and till next time!

**vmr**: Thank you!

**Howdidhenot: Inspired you? OhOh. The last time someone said I inspired them, it ended up with me being blamed for cliffhangers and psychological character torture. OhOh. Just in case I didn't say that before. But let me know when the fic is out, I sure want to read it. But mind you, I tend to write long and confusing reviews…*g***

**MerlinHaliwell: Thank you. I do my best with the updates, but of course I also want to enjoy all your reactions to the upcoming cliffhangers. *g* But once a week should be secured.**

**Any/Mous: Hope they could help you at St. Mungo's. *g* I love Sirius, too, though you might not believe me. I gave away that Sirius is evil in the last chapter? Hmmm, interesting concept. All I can say is: wait till you read the rest of the story. You can ask all my readers of TFB and TLM: hardly anything I say is a sure bet until the word 'END' appears. But I can tell you this much: Sirius is angry. Really angry. Absolutely pissed off. More I won't tell. =p**

**Jakia: Thank you. Yeah, punishing is the hard part of raising a child. But Remus holds up fine.**

**Bookworm2000: Don't blame your computer. Blame me! See above! Please forgive me, either ff.net didn't show your review while I wrote the replies (unlikely, but not impossible), or I just overlooked it (highly probable). What do you mean with 'direct goal'? That Sirius is hunting Remus? You all seem so very sure about Sirius' further role in the story, which surprises me a lot. Because, I guess I have said it before, I'm not completely sure about it yet myself. I just have this little voice inside of my head that tells me to write weird things…*g***

Yes, Janus is left to defend the house alone. You're right about the Anti-Apparition wards. But he could floo out (supposing he'd voluntarily say that thing about the Paris Panthers again *g*), he just doesn't want to. Don't forget that Janus is trained in fighting dark wizards.

And don't be too sure that Janus won't survive the experience, do you really think I spent hours of blood, sweat and tears with developing this character, boring my readers to death with him in the first chapters, just to kill him in chapter 7? No, I don't think so. The identity of the Death Eater should come as a little surprise for you all…

**Nagini: You're starting to scare me, do you know that? I hope you're still alive out there…**

**A.Dee: Of course I can leave it there. It's called a cliffhanger, dear. You should be used to them by now *g* and you have to admit that it's one of my more harmless ones. After all, this chapter didn't end with the word Kedavra. You're right, if it was Sirius who broke the wards it would be clear what role he would play. So it's safe to assume that it's not Sirius. Just read and see. You'll have to wait if you want to find out about Sirius, but I'm confused that you're not worried about his appearance in the last chapter. After all, he's off to hunt Remus.**

I don't want to change your opinion about Janus, I just wanted to point out that I LIKE him and that I'll defend him. Because I like him. But I think I already said that.

**Starlette: Ever heard the word Cliffhanger before? And normally I don't use harmless ones like this. And who said Sirius didn't have the Dark Mark. It's an AU, I can do whatever I want to do. You'll see. But it wasn't a false alarm, Janus doesn't set up wards that get triggered for nothing. Not MY Janus.  **

I didn't quite get the middle part of your review. The ones who raided Azkaban took the Death Eaters, but not the ones who were insane or too sick to be of use. So they left the weak ones and only took the strong.

Don't pity Harry too much, he's earned it. That book was dangerous. And yes, it's a magical bookstore, after all Remus graduated in Defence. So that's what he has specialized on. But I didn't explicitly mention it before, so don't worry that you missed it.

But what do you complain about? After I ended the chapter you COULD still scroll down. There were still so many nice little A/Ns left to read. *g*

But I'm glad you liked the story and bear with me even despite the cliffies…

**kitty: Thank you! Here you go!**

**keizinathebrat**: Thank you! And yes, when Lupin and Black meet it'll get very interesting indeed…*g* But that's still in some distant future.

**thewalrus**: a) erm…don't say nothing without my lawyer. Just wait, then you'll understand what's going on with Sirius. b) glad you like Janus and cute!Harry. *g* They're fun to write. And you don't look insane speaking to fictional characters, I do it all the time. And I don't have any mental problems at all. Hmmm, wonder where the nurse is with my medication? *g*

Thank you sooo much, I'm glad this story seems to work out so greatly for you. I hope it'll remain that way.

**sk8reagle: Thanks. Yes, poor Janus, finally somebody shows some compassion for my poor OC. Thanks. And I love to respond to reviews, I like keeping in touch with what my readers think. And I like to spread small hints that nobody understands but that confuse you all. Mwhahahaha!**

**Morgan **D**: Thank you ever so much. I hope you'll enjoy reading this chapter, and I'm already curious to see how you react. And how you read it, because with your detailed way of reading my chapters, you help me a lot to develop the further course of the story. And I love your guesswork! *g***

**Dumbledore's Surprise**

The portkey took Remus and Harry to the outskirts of Hogsmeade, as close to the castle as the wards around it would allow. 

With Harry still clinging to him as if the boy's life would depend on it, Remus lost no time and started walking as fast as possible to get Dumbledore.

He didn't know why Janus had felt the need to set up more wards around his house, but nevertheless he felt grateful for it. Only this morning, the wards would not have recognized the Dark Mark, and Remus didn't even want to think what could have possibly happened had they been taken by surprise.

But Remus didn't like the idea that Janus was facing whoever was approaching alone now. For sure, his brother was able to defend himself, Remus didn't doubt that. But in case he was outnumbered, all the Ministry training and years of field experience would not help him either, he would have to flee. And fleeing from a house in which apparating was disabled was quite a difficult task. No, Remus had to tell Dumbledore as fast as possible, and then they needed to bring what help they could get to Janus. His partner Lucas being the first on the list.

Remus realized that Harry was beginning to become a dead weight in his arms. Holding a seven year old child who was still quite small for his age was no problem for him, but if Harry was walking on his own, their progress would be much faster. Gently, he tried to pry Harry's hands away from his neck. The only response he evoked with this was that Harry desperately tried to cling even more tightly to him.

"Harry? Harry, please let go."

"No!"

Not slowing his pace, Remus thought of the best way to explain the urgency to the boy without worrying him even more.

"Harry, we need to get to Hogwarts, and we'd be a lot faster if you walked on your own."

"No!"

The answer came out more like a sob, and the next thing Remus realized was that the child had started to cry into his shoulder.

"Pup, what's wrong, why are you crying?"

Harry snivelled lowly a couple of times and then, his voice hardly audible, answered.

"You said they wouldn't come. You promised."

Remus frowned. What was the boy talking about?

"Who?"

"The bad men. You said they wouldn't come to hurt us, and now they did come. You lied."

Immediately, Remus remembered those two nights when Harry had come to his bed, scared out of his wits by his nightmares. What should he tell the child now?

"Pup, I told you we had done everything to protect the house. That's why we're here now, alright? We don't even know what has caused the alarm, it's just precaution. We're safe."

Harry shook his head vividly.

"But uncle Janus is still there. What if they hurt him?"

Remus stopped for a moment and lifted Harry's chin so that he could look at the boy.

"Harry, we don't even know if somebody really wanted to attack the house. It's not very likely. And Janus knows what he's doing. He'll just look what's going on and then he'll come after us. Alright?"

Harry didn't answer, but again buried his face in Remus' shoulder. With a sigh Remus realized that the boy was far too disturbed to let go off him now, so he resumed his way to the castle again. He was nearly there already, anyway.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_Richard Lupin opened the front doors of Hogwarts and entered the castle, welcoming the lingering coolness in the old stone castle walls to drive away the muggy warmth of the hot late-August afternoon outside. Richard had apparated to the gates of Hogwarts from his relatively cool living room, but the barely ten minutes it had taken him to walk up to the castle had already caused him to sweat quite thoroughly._

_The last three weeks it had appeared as if summer had wanted to repay __England__ for its long absence, and so far there was no sign indicating that with the approaching September autumn would bring some climatic relief._

_But it was not the weather Richard had come to talk about._

_With quick strides, he walked down corridors and up staircases, taking the by now well-known way to the office of Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts. And at the moment, his last hope._

_When Richard had returned home from work the day of the first custody hearing, he had been surprised to find both his sons sitting in the living room, files and folders on the table in front of them, heads bent over a piece of parchment in silent cooperation. They had been formulating a new petition for custody._

_Remus had given his father a short summary of the events of the morning, far too matter-of-factly and emotionally distanced for Richard's liking. He had expected Remus to be dispirited by the failure, though it had been a most likely possibility, but instead Remus had seemed only more determined to get through with the custody case._

_Though Richard's favourite vase had been missing all of a sudden, and even now, months after that day, he had not found out where it had gone to._

_Remus and Janus had worked on the new petition for hours and had sent it off in the evening, along with the pledge for a new caseworker._

_The Ministry had taken its time in responding, but after three weeks they had replied and agreed to set another hearing in Remus' case. Again, it had been set on the day before full moon._

_Again, Remus had apparated to the Ministry in the morning, had gone through a ridiculously short time of questioning only to return home with the downright security that his petition had failed again._

_By the time when the letter from the Ministry had arrived, confirming Remus' suspicion about the outcome of that day's hearing, the third petition for custody had already been well on its way to the Ministry._

_Five times they had gone through this procedure by now. Five times Remus had pledged for a different caseworker, five times he had told his story to completely uninterested Ministry officials and had been left with the notification that his petition could not be granted due to his lycanthropy._

_Two weeks ago, they had sent away their sixth petition for custody over Harry Potter. This morning, the reply from the Ministry had arrived with surprising news._

_Remus had been granted another hearing. His son had been slightly thrown off balance after the last hearing, because this had been held by Gwendolyn Smith, chief caseworker of the Department of Family Regulations. The witch had already been present at the first hearing from what Remus had told, and her attitude towards Remus' case had not changed in the slightest after that. She too, had not given Remus any chance to lay out his reasons for thinking that Harry was neglected where he was located right now, and neither had she given him a chance to point out that the child would be far better off with somebody who really cared for him, with Remus. _

_When Remus had returned home that day, Richard had for the first time during the custody struggle seen him completely downcast. Smith was the chief caseworker of the Department, Remus had not thought that he would be granted another chance after failing to convince her. After all, what caseworker left would dare to overrule their boss' decision?_

_Remus had been willing to give up that day, Richard still shuddered when he thought back at it. Pieces of the Remus after Halloween the previous year had shown again, his eyes had been dull and he had not shown interest in anything at all. Janus had tried to make him write another petition, but Remus had only silently turned away and left the room._

_That had been the worst of all, the silence. Remus had barely spoken for nearly a week, he had seized eating and had refused to leave his room._

_One full moon had passed since the latest custody hearing, and though it had not been as bad as the horrible night in November, it was not an experience Richard ever wanted to repeat. Once more, the wolf had let out its anger on its human host, but this time at least Remus had not been nearly dead after moonset. His wounds had been serious, but they had healed within a couple of days._

_His mood, however, had not changed at all. _

_Richard had tried everything he could think of to prevent his son from slipping into a depression again, but nothing he had thought of had worked. Much to Richard's surprise, Janus had been around every day during that time, trying everything in his might to coax Remus into a better mood. His reward had been Remus' constant demand to leave him alone, and in the end a black eye because he had kept on pestering his brother despite that demand._

_But even this had not managed to drive Janus away._

_Richard didn't know whether the conversation he and Janus had had after Christmas had been the driving factor for his older son, or whether Janus had made up his mind a little more during the last couple of months, but there was no denying that the brothers had grown closer during their common struggle against the Ministry. Not as close as it would have been normal between brothers, but Richard doubted that those two would ever get there. Not with their history._

_But Richard was grateful for every step they made towards each other, no matter how small it seemed._

_In the end it had been Janus who had formulated and sent away the latest petition, completely without Remus' knowledge or consent. When they had told Remus about it, he had only shrugged his shoulders and resumed staring at the wall again. He didn't seem to care about the whole custody case anymore, and not even the mentioning of Harry's name provoked a different reaction from him._

_And then this morning the notification had arrived that another hearing had been granted to Remus. A final hearing, the letter had left no doubt about that. _

_And this was the reason why Richard was at Hogwarts today._

_Remus' father reached the gargoyle and found it open, revealing the staircase behind it. As there were no students present, the headmaster had agreed to leave the entrance to his office unguarded for the time of Richard's arrival, to spare him the whole password-guessing. Dumbledore had given up sending out the password in letters or telling it via fireplace out of the suspicion that someone might intercept it._

_Richard knocked on the wooden door of Dumbledore's office and was bid to enter immediately._

_As usual, the old wizard was sitting behind his desk as Richard entered. He looked up at the younger man and gestured him to take a seat._

_"Ah Mr. Lupin._ Good afternoon to you. Now, what brings you to my office so urgently on such a nice day?"__

_While Richard tried to find the best way to put his intentions into words, Dumbledore offered him a glass of ice-tea which he accepted absent-mindly._

_"I'm here to ask a favour of you, Professor. It concerns Remus."_

_Dumbledore nodded, his eyes going serious._

_"How is Remus doing?"_

_Richard just shook his head._

_"Not fine, not at all. I guess you know that his custody hearings have not gone well?"_

_Dumbledore took a sip of his ice-tea and nodded._

_"I have not heard anything concrete, but the mere fact that I know Harry's location has not changed tells me that Remus is fighting quite a struggle with the Ministry."_

_"And that is an understatement. So far, we've had five hearings in his case. Every time, his petition was turned down without those caseworkers really listening to him. They only see the fact that he is a werewolf, they don't even listen to his reasons. They simply are not interested in anything he has to say, not even when he tries to tell them that Harry is not being treated rightly._

_It got worse after the last hearing three weeks ago. That time, the chief caseworker of the department was in charge, and now that she has turned down Remus' petition, the boy has lost all hope that he'll ever be able to succeed."_

_Dumbledore nodded again._

_"I see. And what favour do you want to ask of me?"_

_Richard sighed. He didn't like to ask this of Dumbledore, but he knew that the situation during the next hearing would be well over all their abilities. Dumbledore at least would be knowing what they were dealing with._

_"Despite Remus seemingly giving up, Janus handed it another petition immediately after the last one was turned down. This morning, the answer arrived. They have granted another hearing, and somebody else to supervise it, somebody who's not part of the department."_

_Dumbledore rose an eyebrow._

_"But that's good news, isn't it?"_

_Richard shook his head._

_"In a way, but only in a way._ There are problems about it as well. First of all the fact that the Ministry made quite clear that this will be the last hearing they grant Remus. If he can't convince them then, he'll not be given another chance. They'll ignore all future petitions."  
"And if Remus was never really given the chance to lay out his reasons for the petition before, you fear that it will be the same with the next hearing as well."  
Richard nodded.__

_"But there is more about it than just that. The thing that worries me even more, is that none other is to hold and supervise the hearing than the Minister of Magic."_

_Now, Dumbledore was surprised._

_"They appointed Fudge to decide a custody hearing?"  
Richard nodded._

_"Sounds ridiculous, but it's true. There will be caseworkers present, but he'll be the one to question Remus. I guess with that the Ministry wants to show the finality of it all. After all, what use is left to keep on petitioning if the Minister of Magic has already turned you down?"_

_"Yes, I see that."_

_Dumbledore replied, but didn't say anything more. Richard sighed._

_"My biggest fear is that they won't even listen to Remus, like they have done in all previous hearings. It's Remus' last chance, and I'm deeply worried about him if this fails just as well. He'll not pull out of it all that easily, I fear it might be too hard of a setback for him._

_That's why I wanted to ask you a favour. _

_Be present at the hearing, please. I'm sure that Remus would get a fairer chance if you were there while he is questioned. You are a person of great authority, not only here at the castle but also at the Ministry. And you know Minister Fudge._

_Professor, I'm not asking you to take up Remus' side, or to plead for his case, I only ask you to be present during the hearing. It might make the difference Remus needs to tell his side of the whole story."_

_Richard looked at the old wizard with a gaze somewhere between awkwardness and embarrassment. Albus Dumbledore was a person of great authority all across the wizarding world, but Richard didn't like the idea that he was asking him to use this authority as a tool in Remus' struggle with the Ministry._

_Richard wished that he could read what Dumbledore was thinking from his face, but Dumbledore's expression had not changed since he had asked for the favour._

_The headmaster slowly got up from his chair and walked over to Fawkes' perch. While he stroke the magnificent bird across the feathers, he hummed a small tune which the phoenix answered with a song of its own. Dumbledore listened to Fawkes' song for some long minutes, still stroking his feathers, while he seemed to be thinking about his answer._

_When he eventually turned back to face Richard, the younger wizard realized that he started to hold his breath._

_"Mr. Lupin, when I admitted Remus to Hogwarts, I did this in the hope that he would be able to receive the education he deserved here, despite the tragic events that had changed his life forever. I was hoping that he would find friends here, people whom he could trust and who trusted him in return. I was hoping for Remus to become a qualified wizard and a good person._

_I will be open with you and admit that those had not been my only reasons. Of course giving Remus a good education was important, and he never disappointed all the high hopes that his teachers an I had in him. It would have been a loss to let his talent and intelligence go to waste._

_But I also knew that he needed to be introduced to something else, Mr. Lupin. Remus needed to be introduced to humanity and values._

_Oh, I don't want to say that you and your wife raised him to be inhuman, or that you were giving him the wrong kind of education._

_But the night Remus received his curse, he received something that separated him from all other children of his age. And I'm not talking about one night of pain and agony a month, I'm talking about a dark side that was and still is constantly present in his mind._

_It is no secret that Lord Voldemort tried to recruit werewolves during his reign. They already carried the dark in them, they were easy to tempt. The dark they carry inside of them is a source of great power if used wrongly. And it's tempting to use that power, and easy to fall for it._

_When I admitted Remus to Hogwarts, I hoped that during the seven years here he would find more than just formal education here. Lycanthropy makes the victims live as outcasts, secluded and shunned. I wanted Remus to discover that human contact, friendship and love were the only way to keep the darkness inside of him at bay._

_Remus needed to learn that lycanthropy is something that can be bore and carried with dignity, that it's not everything that defines the person he is. And for that he needed friends, people who cared for him and loved him because of who he was and not because of what darkness he carried._

_Here again, your son did not disappoint my hopes in him. The friendships he created here, no matter how tragically they ended, have shown him that his human side is far more important than the wolf. He has allowed himself to form bonds that have strongly influenced his personality. Towards the better."_

_Dumbledore looked into Richard's eyes for some long moments before he continued._

_"You have an astonishing son, Mr. Lupin. The shy and withdrawn little boy he once was has become a strong and intelligent man, a man you should be proud of. I for one am proud of him."_

_Richard frowned his brow in confusion. Though he agreed to what Dumbledore had said, and though it was warming him from inside to hear the headmaster speak so affectionately and proudly about his son, he didn't see how those words were connected to what he had asked of the older man._

_"I am proud of my son, very proud indeed."_

_Dumbledore smiled and his eyes sparkled behind his half-moon glasses._

_"As you should be.___

_Everybody carries his own personal darkness, Mr. Lupin. It takes a lot of courage and strength to admit it, and even more to accept it. We all can be dangerous if we give in to it, and one can never be sure who is strong enough to withstand the temptation of giving in._

_Your son, Mr. Lupin, is one of the very few people of whom I am convinced that he knows his own personal darkness well enough to be too intelligent and sensible to give in to it._

_He's one of the few whom I trust well enough to lay something important in his responsibility without hesitation. Because I know that he puts his purpose above his own sake._

_That's why I have no doubt whatsoever that he will be more than capable of taking such a big responsibility like taking care of Harry. It was so easy for him to convince me of this idea because I know that he'll not let any harm come to the boy, and because I know that he'll be able to raise him well. _

_His lycanthropy should not play such a big role in all this as it obviously does, because it is a danger that can easily be avoided."_

_Richard snorted._

_"Tell that to those Ministry idiots."_

_Dumbledore smiled._

_"That's just what I intend to do, Mr. Lupin."_

_Richard raised his eyebrow in surprise.  
"You mean that you agree to be present at the hearing?"_

_"I had hoped that it would not be necessary, but yes. I have spent a lot of thoughts on Remus' whish to raise Harry. First, I assured myself that his relatives' home really is no place for young Harry to grow up in. I might have made a mistake when I put him there, but my main concerns at that time were his security. Maybe that was not enough. _

_And I have prepared steps I could take in case the Ministry does not allow Remus custody for Harry out of reasons I don't see fit. And rooting their refusal in Remus' condition certainly falls into that category._

_I had feared that such drastic steps would not be necessary, but I'm willing to take them._

_Mr. Lupin, tell your son that I will be present at the hearing, and that I will make sure he is heard this time. And in case this still isn't enough to convince Fudge that lycanthropy is no reason to deny him custody, you can tell you son that I have a last resort of means that should even the chances a bit. Just let me know when the hearing will take place and rest assured that I will be present."_

_Richard just nodded in astonishment._

_While he shook the old wizard's hand and thanked him for offering his help, he could not help but wonder about the man. Though Remus had told him countless times that Albus Dumbledore was as strange a wizard as one could meet, he had not really believed how strange he actually was until this day. _

_Dumbledore had offered his help, and he was thankful for it. Grateful._

_But what last resort of means had he been talking about? What kind of drastic steps that he was willing to take? And, if the headmaster had a possibility to grant Remus better chances at the process, why had he not used them before? It could have spared Remus nearly a year of struggle with those arrogant Ministry caseworkers._

_His head slightly dizzy from all those questions, Richard made his way through the castle and stepped out the front doors into the hot summer afternoon again._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Remus hurried up the stairs and through the front doors of Hogwarts. Harry had not released his hold on Remus' neck, and he feared that if the boy would tighten it even more he would suffocate him.

Quickly crossing the entrance hall, Remus hurried up the stairs into the direction of Dumbledore's office. He was panting and his arms were hurting from carrying Harry when he finally reached the stone gargoyle that marked the entrance to the headmaster's office.

Now only the matter of the password was left.

"Erm…sugar quills?"

The gargoyle didn't move.

"Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans? Chocolate Frogs? Liquorice Wand? Lemon Drop? Snickers Bar?"

Remus tried every sweet, muggle or magical, he could think of, but the gargoyle didn't move. Harry, sensing a game, rose his head just as Remus had run out of ideas. With a grin, he turned towards the gargoyle.

"Acid pops?"

The gargoyle swung aside and revealed the circling staircase behind. Remus stared at his godson in surprise, but after a moment of paralysis climbed onto the staircase. Harry grinned at his godfather.

"Funny game."

Remus shook his head. Trust Harry to find it amusing. He ruffled the boy's hair affectionately.

"Yeah, and we would have lost without your help. Clever idea, pup."

Harry smiled and buried his face in Remus' shoulder again. Just as they reached the top of the staircase, a thought struck Remus.

"Harry, who gave you Acid pops?"

The reply came muffled through the fabric of Remus' shirt, but nevertheless he understood it.

"Janus."

Remus nodded. Janus. Of course, who else? He would have a serious word with his brother about giving sweets to Harry once this was over. Especially sweets that burned holes into your tongue.

Reaching the wooden door in front of Dumbledore's office, Remus knocked.

"Come in."

Remus opened the door and found Albus Dumbledore behind his desk. But the headmaster was not alone. Severus Snape was sitting in a chair on the other side of the desk. Both men looked at the newcomers questioningly, especially as they realized that Remus was carrying Harry.

Dumbledore rose, a worried frown on his face.

"Remus, has something happened?"

Remus went over to the small, overstuffed sofa that stood on the wall and lowered Harry onto it. The boy still refused to let go of his neck.

"Harry, please let go."

Harry only shook his head.

"Harry, I'm right here, I won't go away. But please let go of my neck now, it's slowly starting to hurt."

Hesitantly, the small fingers unwrapped themselves and Remus was able to untangle himself from Harry's embrace. He sat down on the sofa next to Harry and looked up.

"Sorry to interrupt Albus, but I think you need to know this."

Dumbledore stepped over to the pair with two cups in his hands. Remus thankfully accepted the hot tea and helped Harry to take his own half-full mug. The child was still scared out of his wits and skidded as close to his godfather as possible. Remus wrapped his free arm around him and rubbed his back reassuringly.

Dumbledore sat down in a chair next to Snape and looked at the pair of them.

"What has happened, Remus?"

"Janus came over today and reinforced the wards around the house. He didn't tell me about it, but just as we had finished dinner the alarms went off. Janus said he had calibrated the wards to react on the Dark Mark.

Harry and I took the portkey to Hogsmeade you left us and came here as soon as possible. Janus has stayed at the house, he told me to tell you about it."

Dumbledore nodded.

"How many?"

"I don't know. Janus sent us off as the first barrier of wards was breached, whoever triggered the alarms had not been close to the house at that point."

Sensing Dumbledore's next question, Remus looked at the clock on the wall.

"It's been ten minutes since we left, maybe a little more."

Again, the old wizard nodded and looked at Snape. He gave the Potions master a look that implied a silent question, something that puzzled Remus, but Snape only shook his head. Dumbledore turned towards Remus again.

"We'll go there immediately. Severus, could you take Professor McGonagall and go to Remus' house? If it's really only a single Death Eater, I'm sure Mr. Lupin won't have any problems dealing with him, but we need to make sure just in case there are more. Send word and alert the Ministry if the situation is out of control, I'll be along shortly."

Snape nodded and left the room. Dumbledore turned back to Remus.

"Is there anybody else we should notify?"

Remus sighed.

"Janus told me to contact Lucas Spalding, his partner. Once he's there, I'm sure he'll be able to take over."

"Feel free to use the fireplace."

"Thank you, Albus."

Remus got up from the sofa, much to Harry's dismay, and walked over to Dumbledore's fireplace. Grabbing some powder from the mantelpiece, he threw it into the flames.

"Lucas Spalding."

The flames flickered blue for a moment, signalling that the connection was being established. After some moments more, the face of a woman appeared in the fireplace.

"Yes?"

"Good evening. Sorry to disturb you, but it's important. My name is Remus Lupin, I need to speak to Lucas Spalding."

The woman shook her head.

"I'm sorry Mr. Lupin, but Lucas is not here right now. He left two hours ago."

Remus sighed.

"Do you know where he might have gone to?"

Again, the woman shook her head.

"No, I'm sorry. He only said it had to do with his work and that he didn't know when he'd be back."

Remus suppressed a curse.

"Thank you all the same. Good evening."

"Good evening, Mr. Lupin."

Her head vanished from the flames and Remus turned around again. With a smile, he noticed that Dumbledore had sat down next to Harry and did a very good job in distracting the boy. Fawkes the phoenix had flown from his perch to the armrest of the sofa, and under Dumbledore's instruction Harry carefully petted the magnificent bird.

Remus went over to them and sat down in a chair in front of the sofa. Harry looked up, his emerald eyes wide with excitement.

"Remus, Fawkes is a phoenix! A real phoenix! Isn't that great?"

Remus smiled fondly at the child.

"Yes Harry, it is. Hello Fawkes."

He stretched out his hand and carefully patted the bird on the head.

"Can I have a phoenix, Remus?"

Dumbledore uttered a cough that sounded suspiciously like a suppressed laugh. His blue eyes sparkled behind his glasses. Remus did something he had never thought possible – he gave his former headmaster a scolding look. Then he turned back to his godson.

"Harry, I'm afraid that phoenixes aren't normal pets. You can't just buy them, they have to decide to stay with you."

"Oh."  
Harry sounded disappointed now. Dumbledore lay a hand on his shoulder and the small boy turned his head.

"Don't be sad, Harry. Once you're here at Hogwarts, you might see Fawkes more often than you like. That is, if you have inherited at least a little of your father's and Remus' tendency for mischief you might find yourself in this office quite often.

And the next time I have to write a letter to Remus, I'll ask Fawkes if he will deliver it. Phoenixes normally don't deliver mail, but maybe he'll make an exception for you. He seems to like you."

He winked at Harry and the boy smiled.

"Really? That would be nice, sir."

While Harry kept on petting Fawkes, Dumbledore turned to Remus.

"You have contacted Mr. Spalding?"

Remus shook his head.

"No, unfortunately he wasn't home. We'll have to go without him."

Dumbledore looked at him intensely.

"Remus, I think it would be better if you stayed here with Harry."

"No Albus, I won't stay behind. If Janus is in trouble, I have to help him. Especially now that Lucas isn't there."

Dumbledore sighed.

"I really think it would be better if you remained here and distracted Harry. He can't be left alone."

Remus already wanted to argue against this, when suddenly an idea struck him.

"Could you call a house-elf?"

Dumbledore smiled as if he guessed what Remus was driving at, and he rung a small silver bell on his desk. Immediately, a house elf materialized next to the desk.

"Professor Dumbledore has a wish sir? What can Mindy do for Professor Dumbledore sir?"

Harry stared at the small creature with his mouth and eyes wide open. He had never seen a house elf before, and the weird little creature was far more interesting than Fawkes for him at the moment. The phoenix sensed that his presence had worn off its novelty and flew back onto his perch.

Dumbledore turned to the house elf.

"Mindy, this is Harry Potter. Would you mind to take him around the castle a little? I think a visit in the kitchens would be very much appreciated as well."

Mindy nodded feverishly.

"Whatever Professor Dumbledore wishes, sir. Mindy will take Harry Potter around the castle. If Harry Potter comes with Mindy now please?"

Harry looked at Remus with an expression that bordered on panic. Remus smiled and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Harry, house elfs aren't dangerous. Last time we were here, you wanted to see the castle. Mindy will show you whatever you want, alright?"

Harry's eyes immediately brightened and he got up from the sofa.

"Everything? Even the owlery?"

Remus laughed.

"If you want, yes even the owlery."

Harry was already at the door, waiting for the house elf to come. Remus held Mindy back for a moment. 

"Just don't let him out of sight. And don't give him too many sweets and sugar, otherwise he won't be able to sleep tonight."

Mindy nodded.

"Mindy won't leave Harry Potter out of sight sir. Mindy will watch his every step."

"Thank you."

Remus quickly gave Harry a hug and then the boy and the house elf were already out of the office. He nodded at Dumbledore.

"Let's go."

Remus and Dumbledore left the office as well, heading for the castle ground and the edge of the Anti-Apparition wards around the castle.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Janus stood still in the corner for some moments, thinking about the best strategy to deal with whoever was approaching the house. Silently, he moved across the room and made sure that the backdoor was securely locked. He didn't want to make it too easy for the Death Eaters, Janus Lupin didn't offer himself to Voldemort's servants on a silver plate.

After Janus had taken his hiding place in the corner again, it took only some moments until the silent vibration of his wand told him that the barriers close to the house had been breached as well.

Now one or more Death Eaters were directly in front of the house. If Janus had not set up those additional wards only hours ago, Remus and Harry would have been taken by surprise. He didn't even want to imagine what could have happened if he had not decided to visit them tonight. Janus made a mental note to go through the wards around the house again first thing tomorrow. Disabling Apparition and portkey use to get in simply was not enough, the wards needed to be set up to recognize people.

But now he needed to pay attention.

Making sure that his movement didn't give away his hiding place, Janus got up from his crouch and craned his neck to look out of the window. It was dark outside, the cloudy sky preventing most of the moon- and starlight from shining through, but after some moments, Janus saw movement in front of the window. It could have been a large straying animal, but normally no animal came this close to the house.

As the shadow had passed the window, Janus quickly crossed the room and carefully rose his head above the windowsill. Nothing.

Janus quickly thought about his possibilities. Experience had taught him that it was better to think of his escape plans while he still had time for it. He could not apparate from the house, so the only way out left was either the front or the backdoor. In case that there was more than one person out there, it was likely that he would run into at least one, if not a group of Death Eaters on his way out. This was a chance he didn't want to take, the dark yard and garden offered far too many hiding places for his opponents.

While his right hand held his wand tightly, his left hand moved to the pocket of his robe. With relief Janus realized that the small box he always carried around with himself was still there. He pulled it out and opened it.

Inside of the box was a normal silver sickle. Janus quickly tapped it with his wand, then closed the box and put it in his pocket again. 

He always carried a portkey with him which he activated before he went on missions. The portkey bore his signature, and its only use was to bring Janus safely back to the Ministry in case of an emergency. Lucas carried a similar box in his pocket on their missions. Being an Unspeakable was by no means a safe job.

Out of the corner of his eyes Janus saw movement and turned his head. The doorknob of the backdoor was turning slowly, as if whoever tried to open the door didn't want to raise attention. Well, he was failing, because Janus had seen it. 

Quickly and silently moving into the cover of the living room door, Janus watched as the doorknob was turned further and further. Then somebody slowly pushed against the door, creating a small rumbling sound when the wood didn't move. The door was locked, Janus had checked it immediately after Remus had left with Harry.

Janus tensed and counted his heartbeats, trying to remain calm while alert at the same time. He would not be the one to make the first move, he would wait until the person out there had decided to act. Keeping his presence hidden as long as possible was biggest advantage right now.

Janus half expected the door to be blasted apart any moment and was mentally preparing himself, going through a list of curses in his head, when he once again saw a shadow quickly pass the window on the other side of the room.

'Heading for the front door, aren't we? A Death Eater who comes through the front door, now there's something new.'

Janus left his position behind the door and slowly entered the front hall. Hiding here would be slightly more difficult. With quick and silent strides, Janus reached the small window next to the door and, hiding his body from view, glimpsed outside.

The lantern that was normally lit in front of the door had been extinguished earlier on when Janus had turned off all the lights in the house. So all Janus could see was the darkness of the front yard. In the darkness, he could hardly make out the outline of the bushes some yards away. Everything behind the window was black and nothing moved.

Janus already wanted to turn away when movement once more caught his attention. There, on his left, a somewhat darker shade of black was moving towards the door. A person, most probably in a black cloak with hood.

Taking one last look, Janus turned. One Death Eater he could deal with, especially as he had the moment of surprise on his side. Things would only get difficult if that Death Eater had some friends out there who had not shown up so far. He would have to take that one out quick and quietly. 

Again, the doorknob was slowly turned around, but this time, a shiver went down Janus' spine. Something was wrong here.

The moment he realized what it was, Janus could have slapped himself. He had not locked the door!

After Remus and Harry had gone, he had made sure that the back door was securely locked and that all the windows were closed. But the most obvious thing, the bloody front door, he had forgotten about!

As there was no more time to fix that mistake, Janus quickly changed his tactics. The door opened from the right to the left, meaning that whoever came in first saw the staircase and the door towards the living room on the right side of the hall.

Silently, Janus moved away from the staircase and over towards the wardrobe. He would be shielded from view there at least for the first moments after the door had been opened.

With a low click, the doorknob was turned all around and slowly the door opened. Without a sound, the wood slowly swung towards Janus.

Every muscle in Janus' body was tense and his breathing was slow and controlled. His right hand held his wand tightly and slowly moved upwards, heading for where the chest of the intruder would most likely turn up.

The door stopped half-way through the opening process, but instead of somebody coming into view, it was suddenly slammed shut and the person behind it spun around, facing Janus.

"_Stupefy!"_

Janus was surprised that the intruder had known or guessed that he was there and where he was hiding, but not surprised enough for his reflexes to shut down. With a quick movement, he jumped to the side and evaded the curse, easing his impact on the floor by rolling over.

Knowing that his presence was no longer a secret, he had to act. Losing no time, he rose into a crouch, raised his wand and shot the curse himself.

"_Stupefy_!"  
"_Expelliarmus_!"

Both curses were shouted at the same time, and both missed their aim because the targets ducked away. Janus shot a series of stunning spells and numbing hexes into the general direction of the other man, but all he hit was the small table next to the door and a framed picture of Harry and Remus that hung at the wall. Small shards of glass flew through the air, but the Death Eater ducked out of their way and moved closer towards the staircase.

Realizing that his opponent was by no means stupid or inexperienced, Janus settled for a different approach. Most Death Eaters were so fascinated by the power given to them by magic that they forgot about more simple, yet also most effective ways of fighting.

Leaving the cover of the doorframe, Janus quickly crossed the distance between himself and the Death Eater. The man realized what Janus was doing, but either he was too stunned by this sudden change of tactic, or he had plans of his own, but he didn't move.

After a short moment, he aimed his wand at Janus, but the second of hesitation had given Janus all the time he needed. He slammed his knee into the man's groin with all his might, receiving a stifled moan as a response. His fist collided with the other's stomach, and even as the attacker sank to his knees Janus grabbed the man's wand arm and slammed the wrist against the handrail of the staircase with full force. The man gave a sharp cry of pain and the wand fell from suddenly limp fingers.

Not risking anything, even though the Death Eater in front of him was on his knees, weakened and obviously unarmed, Janus reached for his left boot with his hand while he pushed the man back against the stairs with the other.

Hovering above the still moaning Death Eater, he pulled out a knife from his left boot and placed it against the man's throat while he pressed the man's legs down with his knee.

"I would not move if I were you."

Janus' tone of voice implied an obvious threat that implied dire consequences for any attempt to struggle free, and now that he had the man at knife- and wand point, he allowed himself to relax a little.

Janus lit the tip of his wand and, putting the wand under his arm, yanked back the man's head with his right hand.

Janus' eyes widened.

The knife clattered loudly as it fell to the tiled floor.


	8. Dumbledore's Sacrifice

Hey! Sorry for my misleading you in the last chapter. I meant to reveal the attacker's identity, but after I wrote the A/N and finished the chapter, it became too long for one post (not that you would have complained, I know, but I wanted to save some cliffies…). So the revelation takes place in this chapter, and I have to admit that some of your guesses were quite…interesting. HeHe. But you'll see soon.

**Tinytoonyloonyme: Called a cliffhanger, dear. I know I promised to reveal the attacker's identity in this chapter, but see above. You timed how long it takes you to read the books? And book one takes you 27 minutes? Wow. Well, I guess I won't sleep the night after I get the book, but I'll be careful to read it slowly. I want to savour it. And I admit that getting it for half the prize is something worth being happy about *dances around in joy***

We have big cities here in Germany (where I live), but I didn't live in one until I started at university. I come from a small village somewhere near Frankfurt. You speak German? Cool, I know it's hard to learn, so don't worry about your mistakes. Do you understand it well enough to get the meanings of my Author's notes in German?

Spiked food is always a good idea, but Sirius trying to use the force on his classmates is just hilarious. I think I have to check that one out. But I'm afraid there won't be more pranks in this story.

Thank you.

**kitty: HeHe. Called a cliffie. I love cliffhangers, better get used to it. But here you go, I hope you enjoy my revelation.**

**Nicky: Just a guess or did you conclude that from something? Hmmm…good guess, girl. Janus obviously was surprised about the attacker's identity, surprised enough to let his knife fall. Would he have done that when the other was an enemy? I don't think so. Really good guess, I'm impressed.**

**Bobbi: Read and find out. Glad you enjoy it. Thank you.**

**Nagini: You're…coherent? Wow. As I'm very much afraid of your potato, here you go with the next chapter. I think you might like the attacker's identity. By the way, where do you get Sirius Plushies™? Just curious? *g* WANT ONE!!!!!**

And why do you want to kill Ron? Hmmm, you scare me sometimes, do you know that?

**sarahpeach**: No, it's not Sirius. But it doesn't mean that Sirius doesn't have the Dark Mark, after all this is an AU. Glad you liked the scene between Dumbledore and Richard, it was quite difficult to write, don't know why. The words just didn't come out at first, and I was re-writing it over and over again. Took me two and a half hours, just that little scene. Gah! 

I can't answer your question, though. You're right, Sirius' reasons have not been mentioned so far. And that has a reason, so you'll have to wait and see. But I promise to come up with something credible. At least that's what I think it is.

Sorry to hear that you don't finish your story, can you e-mail me how you planned for it to go on? *puppy eyes*

**A.Dee: Sorry, won't happen again. *g* And I understand that 'dear' sounds somewhat patronizing, so I'll leave it be in the future. But you should be used to my liking for cliffhangers by now, shouldn't you?**

You don't know Sirius' reason for hunting Remus, and that will stay like this for another couple of chapters (hey, this story grows and grows – it was planned to be far shorter and it just writes itself further on…). It's intended for you all to be in the dark about it, so at least you didn't miss something there. And yes, you'll see who it is in this chapter, sorry for the misleading promise of revelation in the last chapter.

**Sailor **Sol**: Yes, it's one of the two you mentioned. I understand what you mean about Sirius being evil, but I won't make any promises yet. P.A.R. has to edit Enemies so it will be R instead of NC-17? OMG, what did she write? Extreme Violence? Sex? Well, whatever it is, I'm looking forward to it. Have you read her A/N in the Ode to HP summaries poem? Makes me very, very curious. Orion, father of five children? And, I quote: 'You'll love his wife'. That really is intriguing. But I'll have to wait on, I guess. Do you know anything more about when she wanted to start posting it?**

Still no snow here. It's getting warm. No snow this winter, I guess. *grumble*

Thank you!

**thewalrus**: Sorry, but I love cliffhangers. When it's me who writes them. *g* You'll see who it was in this chapter, though.

**anaticulapraecantrix: Welcome back! You'll see who it was in this chapter…**

**Green **Eyed** ****Knight: I take that about the 'horrible cliffhanger' as a compliment. Thank you. What was the first Harry lives with Remus story you've read?**

**AFI-Boy: Thank you! You'll see who it was in this chapter. But Sirius can have the Dark Mark, as this is an AU. I could have changed that from canon.**

**Aurelia: With only one chapter per Sunday you'll stay terribly behind in this story. Makes me sad…but then again, every review from you cheers me up, so it doesn't really matter which chapter it's about. And yes, I'm up to read your latest chapter soon.**

**sk8reagle: Thanks. I know what you mean about re-reading stories because they take so long between the posts. I try to avoid that. About the attacker…well, just wait and see.**

**kateydidn't: Hmmm…maybe…*g***

**Bookworm2000: Good. The computer has done you no harm. At least I hope so. Hope you'll get better soon, being sick really sucks. Go white blood cells!**

You too are a good guesser. Was I that obvious? Thanks for elaborating 'direct goal', now that I get it, I agree. I just hope my explanation won't suck. *g*

**evil ****spapple **pie**: Glad to have you back. Don't worry about not finding the story earlier. I would have told you that it's up, but I thought you had realized that and maybe had decided not to read it because it's an AU. The more glad I am that you just missed it. I really hope you liked it so far, now that you've reached chapter 8. I can understand the LOTR thing, Priceless Treasure also is one of my favourites. Every fic by Cassia and Sio is, in fact. Except from the Seventh Stone, but that's personal preferences and stuff. I highly recommend Littlefish's stories Dark Horizon and Hostage of Hate, just in case you haven't found them yet. Enjoy!**

**elmtree**: HeHe. Thank you ever so much. Funny that you read the story without knowing it was mine. I had thought a lot of my former reviewers had left because I announced this to be an AU (and I can understand that some people just don't like this genre, I normally am not too fond of them, either). The more glad I am that you decided to stay…or rather come back. Already addicted again? Then you'll surely like the news that so far this story doesn't seem to end. I guess its length will grow and grow dangerously closer to The Final Battle. OhOh. Glad that you like Remus' family and that you rather enjoy being teased by me and my cliffies. A lot of people see that a little differently…*g* 

And yes, you're right. I saved Sirius for a more dramatic moment. 

Okay, that was it for this week. My, this is getting more and more with each post. Thanks to all of you! And as you've all been so nice to me, and reviewed so much, no cliffhanger this time. Doesn't mean there aren't many more where the first ones came from, believe me, there are. *g*

Enjoy!

**Dumbledore's Sacrifice**

_Remus J. Lupin was thoroughly pissed off._

_It was an occurrence rather seldom happening with him, mostly he was a very calm and reserved man who had his emotions under a very strict guard. There were only few people who knew which strings to pull to make his reserves crumble._

_And what angered him most at the moment was that his father and brother had willingly pulled those strings. Remus had told him after the last hearing with caseworker Smith that, though he was sad to say so, he had tried everything in his might to gain custody over Harry and that there was nothing left for him to do about it anymore. He had failed._

_Remus distinctly remembered that he had also mentioned his lacking urge to humiliate himself further in front of the Ministry by continuing his senseless petitioning._

_And what had the first thing that Janus had done after that announcement?  
His dear brother had written another petition for custody, had signed it simply with his last name, and had sent it off to the Ministry._

_Without Remus' knowledge or consent.___

_Well, Remus could have lived with that. Janus was as stubborn as a mule when he wanted to, and he seemed to have taken a personal edge in his little brother's fight against the institution that employed him. Remus could have lived with Janus sending in another petition, inwardly he had decided that in case he would be granted another hearing, he merely would not show up and end this farce once and for all._

_But then his father had seen need to pull out the big guns. What had this man, whom Remus had up to that point trusted and loved beyond any boundaries, done? The first thing he had done, after the announcement that Remus' next hour of public humiliation and embarrassment would take place in front of none other but the Minister of Magic himself, was that he had gone to Hogwarts and asked Albus Dumbledore to be present at the hearing._

_Again, this had been done without Remus' knowledge or consent._

_Richard had even been whistling when he had arrived home that afternoon, announcing that he had great news for his son. Heck, that man had the air to expect Remus to be happy about it._

_Oh sure, there was nothing he looked more forward to than to sharing this moment of utter disgrace and degradation with his former mentor. Remus could hardly stand the anticipation._

_It was needless to say that Richard didn't quite understand the sarcastic attitude his son had adopted after that day on everything that concerned the custody case. Or, as Remus had begun to call it, 'the case in which everybody who wants to have a go can laugh about the daft werewolf'._

_Sarcasm was a fine thing, why did nobody understand that?_

_No, instead of just letting him brood over the unfairness of life, his so called family had not stopped pestering him about the upcoming hearing, they had not stopped until Remus had promised to go, even if he had just done so to escape their constant bothering._

_So now Remus was once more on his way towards the Ministry of Magic. Something he had sworn not to do again anytime soon if it could be avoided. Remus really didn't know what on Earth he was doing here, but if Dumbledore really had given his consent to come, then at least Remus could show up at the hearing as well. He'd go through the stupid minutes of stupid questions again and after that, it would finally be over. He could go on living his life. _

_With this somewhat calming thought in mind, Remus opened the doors and entered the building of the Department of Family Regulations._

_This time, he didn't need to ask for directions anymore, Remus guessed that by now he had seen every single office in the Department during his hearings. Because of Fudge's presence, today's hearing would take place in chief-caseworker Smith's office, Smith would be present just as well as Nichols. Oh joy!_

_When Remus entered the long corridor where Smith's office was located, the floor an ugly shade of lime-green and the walls a colour that somewhat distantly reminded of apricot, he saw his former headmaster already standing in front of the office door. Much to Remus' surprise, his brother and his father were standing there as well._

_His previous calm all but forgotten, Remus felt his anger rise in his chest again. Hadn't he told his father and Janus explicitly that he didn't want them to be present at the hearing? They had acted against his wishes often enough during the last couple of weeks, he didn't need them to be here and see this now to top it all._

_Dumbledore smiled as he saw Remus approaching._

_"Ah, Remus.__ Good morning to you."_

_"Good morning, Professor."_

_Remus gave his former headmaster a short greeting nod before he turned his attention on his 'family'._

_"What are you doing here?"  
Janus opened his mouth to reply, oblivious to the fact that this had been a rhetorical question, but Remus interrupted him._

_"Didn't I tell you explicitly to stay away from the hearing? Why can't you just for once do something I ask you to?"_

_Dumbledore rose his hand in a calming gesture and interrupted Remus' upcoming rant._

_"Remus, please._ I asked them to come today, as I think they should see what takes place during the hearing."  
Remus spun around and rose an eyebrow at the older wizard. Had that man gone completely mad now?__

_"Professor, with all due respect, but I don't think that me being humiliated and disgraced once more is something either of them needs to witness. It's already bad enough that they could convince me to go through this again."_

_Dumbledore just shook his head._

_"I don't think that anybody will be humiliated here today, Remus."_

_"What do you mean?"  
"Patience, my dear boy. Just tell them your story, the way you wanted to tell them during the first times already. You'll see that in the end everything might turn out alright."_

_Remus sighed._

_"I think you don't know what you're talking about, Professor."_

_Before Dumbledore could respond to that, the door in front of them opened and caseworker Nichols gestured them to come into the room._

_Remus instantly felt sick. He didn't want this, he had not even prepared himself for the hearing, and now Dumbledore and his father really expected him to go in there? Even more, Dumbledore expected the events to turn towards the better?_

_Remus could not see from whence this old man drew his optimism, but once more he decided to trust Albus Dumbledore. After all, the older wizard had never disappointed him before._

_Nichols showed them into the room and gestured the four men to take place on one side of the long table in the office. Nichols, Smith and Minister Fudge were seated on the other side of the table._

_When they had sat down, Nichols pulled out a quick-quote quill and placed it on a parchment in front of him. Remus frowned. They had not done that during all the previous hearings, so he guessed that Fudge's presence kept the caseworkers stick a lot closer to their protocol._

_Nichols cleared his throat and began to speak, the quill writing down everything he said._

_"__September 12th 1982__, it's _nine o'clock__ in the morning. We're here for the custody hearing in case A14022/XD1982, Remus J. Lupin concerning the child Harry James Potter.__

_Present at the hearing are Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge, chief-caseworker Gwendolyn Smith, caseworker Stuart Nichols, applicant Remus J. Lupin. Furthermore Albus Dumbledore…"_

_Here, Nichols rose a questioning eyebrow at the two men whose names he didn't know. Janus reacted fastest._

_"Richard and Janus Lupin."___

_Nichols nodded._

_"…and Richard and Janus Lupin._ Let's proceed to the hearing. Minister?"__

_Cornelius Fudge looked around the room. Remus could not really interpret the look in his eyes. It could have been extreme boredom about being forced to judge in a custody case, but it could as well have been annoyance that he was the one who had to tell the werewolf once and for all that The Boy Who Lived was not in his league._

_"Well then. Mr. Lupin, you have petitioned custody for Harry Potter, claiming that the situation demands a re-location of the child. Would you care to elaborate why you see this step necessary, and especially why you think you would be a better guardian for the child than the ones currently assigned?"  
Remus was startled for a moment. Though Fudge had spoken in a distant and matter-of-fact-manner, it had been the friendliest way Remus had been addressed during any of the hearings. Not to mention the fact that he seemed to be granted the chance to tell his side of the story. Quickly collecting himself, Remus recalled his often rehearsed speech and began._

_"Alright Minister._

_I've been a close friend of the child's parents, and nearly two months after they had been murdered I decided to visit Harry in his new home. I was planning to check that he was doing fine, and to say goodbye to him. After all, Professor Dumbledore had told me that he would think it better for Harry to grow up with his muggle relatives, far away from the wizarding world and his fame here."_

_Dumbledore nodded affirmatively, and Remus continued._

_"However, when I arrived at his relatives' house, I had to realize that the child is being neglected, very much so. Unlike his cousin, Harry gets neither any toys to play with, nor does he get any attention or affection at all, which might be even worse. He is ignored for most of the time while his cousin is spoiled in front of his eyes. His aunt personally told me that she considers Harry to be nothing but an inconvenience and that's exactly how they treat him. Within a couple of weeks, Harry has turned from a happy child into a shy and withdrawn one. _

_Furthermore, his aunt and uncle despise his magical origins. They consider it an abnormality, and that's just what they teach Harry. By the time I visited him he had already adopted the word 'freak' to describe himself, and I shudder to think what will happen with him once he realizes what that word means._

_I don't think that this is an environment for Harry to grow up in."_

_Fudge had silently listened to Remus' description, and when he had finished he looked around the room again._

_"Have there been any signs of physical abuse on the child?"  
Remus shook his head._

_"No, none that I've seen._ I wouldn't go as far and say that his relatives would do that to him, not now that he's still such a small child. What could happen later, I can't say. But it's his mental development I'm concerned about. James and Lily explicitly stated that they didn't want Harry ever to meet his aunt and uncle, let alone live with them. They told me this more than once. That's why they appointed…Sirius to be his guardian in case something happened to them. Of course, back then nobody knew what would happen."__

_An eerie silence lay over the room for some moments after those words, and Remus desperately tried to get control over his vocal chords again. Thinking about Sirius and his betrayal still hurt, Remus doubted that it would ever stop hurting, and bringing up his former friend in this hearing had not been good for Remus' composure. He was glad when Dumbledore brought their thoughts back to Harry._

_"After Mr. Lupin told me what he had witnessed at the Dursley household, I placed a stronger monitoring charm on the house. I have watched the household closely during the past months. What I have seen there confirms everything Mr. Lupin has said just now, Harry is not being physically mistreated, but he is being ignored and neglected. I agree that this is not a bearable situation for such a small child."_

_Fudge raised an eyebrow and thought for a moment. Then he sighed._

_"Mr. Lupin, even if you and Professor Dumbledore can convince me that Harry Potter has to be relocated, which I think should be taken into consideration should your accusations be proven true, what makes you think that you could be taken in regard as his possible guardian?"_

_"I already have a relationship with the child. Though I could not visit him ever since last Christmas, I have witnessed Harry's first fourteen months. He knows me and I know him. I'm the last living person who can link him to his parents._

_I know that I have no countable experience in childcare in your eyes, but I have people willing to help me should things get difficult. Which I don't expect them to become. I can offer Harry a home, I have a job with steady income, and most important I can offer him my time and my affection. That's far more than he's being offered at the moment. I think I could raise Harry better than his relatives do, I love the child. They don't."_

_Remus didn't know whether the three Ministry officials realized the honesty of his words, but he was well aware that declaring his ability to take care of Harry wasn't the biggest obstacle for him to remove today._

_Fudge looked at him, again wit that unreadable expression on his face._

_"What about your lycanthropy?"_

_There it was. Short, to the point, no prancing around. No mocking. No mocking? Remus didn't know what to make of that one._

_"My lycanthropy only affects me once every twenty-eight days. During the rest of the time, I'm a perfectly normal human being. Today is the day before full moon, and as you can see I'm calm and not even close to turning into a vicious monster. Of course I would take precautions so that Harry would not be anywhere near me, already hours prior and still hours after the transformations. My father has already stated that he would be willing to take care of Harry during that time."_

_Richard nodded, but Fudge didn't look convinced. Not at all._

_"Mr. Lupin, you know the laws concerning lycanthropes. They don't allow them to have own children or to adopt children."  
Remus interrupted._

_"We're not talking about adoption here, Minister. We're talking about guardianship."  
This was as close to a loophole in the law as they had gotten, and Remus wasn't willing to give this argument up though he knew it was useless._

_"Guardianship falls under that law as well, Mr. Lupin."_

_Remus shook his head._

_"Not explicitly, Minister."  
Fudge sighed._

_"But, Mr. Lupin, you are not mentioned to be the child's guardian in any legal paper."_

_"That's true. I am not. However, there have been countless cases in which children were given into the care of not explicitly legally stated persons before."_

_"Which were no werewolves."_

_Remus rolled his eyes._

_"That's what it all comes back to, isn't it? Minister, everybody I know can confirm how careful I am concerning this curse. I would not put Harry into any danger. I'm going through this whole process to save him from harm, not for the contrary."_

_"Mr. Lupin, I am aware of that. But we do have laws, and those laws state explicitly that lycanthropes are not to be taken into consideration for adoption processes, and you have to admit that guardianship is a part of the adoption process."_

_Fudge leaned back in his chair and for a moment, the only sound in the room was the scratching of the quick-quote quill._

_There. That was it. Fudge would turn his petition down, Remus knew it. Why had he still bothered to come here? Why had his father, Janus and Dumbledore forced him to go through this again? It had been hopeless right from the start, why could they not have just let it be?_

_Once more, Dumbledore's voice interrupted Remus' thoughts._

_"Cornelius, I have one or two more things to add before you close the hearing, if you have nothing against it?"_

_Fudge waved his hand at the older man._

_"Of course not, Albus._ Go ahead."__

_"Thank you."  
Dumbledore reached into his pocket and pulled out two small stacks of notes. Waving his wand over them, he enlarged the reduced packages until two folders appeared in front of him._

_"Now, you've stated that we have to stick to the law while deciding this case."_

_Fudge nodded, obviously a little confused._

_"Of course."  
"_And certainly you agree that our community has a fair number of laws, too many to remember them all at times."__

_"What do you want to say, Albus?"_

_Instead of answering, Dumbledore opened one of the folders and handed the contents over to Fudge._

_"You might remember Didier Roadackle, Cornelius. Minister of Magic from 1406 till 1419. He had to deal with the aftermath of the three big Goblin rebellions at the turn of the century, while muggle __England__ was still engaged in the hundred-years war with __France__. Which, as you might recall, did not leave the wizarding world unscathed as well. Many orphans during that time, so Roadackle had to pass out laws that regulated the further dealings with those orphans."_

_Fudge scanned the contents of the file with an increasing frown. Dumbledore continued, not paying his reaction any attention at all._

_"It's funny, but those laws are still valid today, Cornelius. And as you might see on page seven of the file, the law from __March 21st 1407__ clearly states that giving a child into the care of a person not stated as its legal guardian is possible. Given that the closest living blood relatives of the child agree. There is even a regulation for the case that those relatives are deceased as well, but as Harry still has living relatives, we simply have to ask them whether they consider Remus to be a better guardian for Harry than themselves. Which, I might think, they'll do."_

_Fudge's face grew a furious red within mere seconds._

_"Those are ancient laws, Albus. No way you can apply them today, they were passed out in completely different circumstances!"_

_Dumbledore only smiled._

_"But they are sill in force, Cornelius."_

_Fudge angrily shook his head._

_"But we have different laws today, laws that say exactly the opposite."  
"There, Cornelius, you might be mistaken. There is no explicit law stating the opposite. What you are talking about is the use of our existing laws about guardianship. It's practice not to grant custody in case there is no explicit legal stating of guardianship, but it's not an explicit law._

_Believe me Cornelius, I checked it."_

_Fudge angrily slammed the file back onto the table. He clearly didn't like being outsmarted by anybody, even if that person was Albus Dumbledore. But he still had a card up his sleeve, something the older wizard could not do anything against._

_"Even if you are right about this, Albus, which I assure you we will check thoroughly before we admit it, there is still the fact that Mr. Lupin is a werewolf. And we can't grant a werewolf guardianship. Didier Roadackle or not!"_

_Remus had watched the entire conversation in silent astonishment. Why hadn't they stumbled across this law? Well, the answer was quite simple actually. They had not researched farther back than to the nineteenth century, that's why. But even though Dumbledore might have found a loophole for one law, there were still the regulations concerning lycanthropes standing in their way. And he seriously doubted that Dumbledore had found a way around them as well._

_But, once more in his life, Remus J. Lupin had underestimated Albus Dumbledore._

_Seemingly untouched by Fudge's outburst, the old wizard opened the second folder._

_"I think that you should be more familiar with these documents, Cornelius."_

_He indicated the front page, on which the words "Ministry Regulations Concerning The Dealings With Lycanthropes – 1786" could be read. Fudge nodded._

_"Of course, those are our regulations on werewolves. I know them, Albus, you can't trick me with those. There is no loophole in them."_

_Dumbledore only smiled knowingly._

_"Cornelius, what do you think? I've not been looking for loopholes here. What I wanted to show you is a legal paragraph of the regulations. Paragraph 188, to be precise. The very last paragraph, which was added to grant lycanthropes certain rights. Under specific circumstances of course, but nevertheless I think it can be applied in our case here. Do you mind if I read it out partially for the protocol?"_

_Not waiting for Fudges answer, Dumbledore leafed through the pages and began to read._

_"§ 188: The aforementioned restrictions on lycanthropes, such as prohibition to run an own business, take up educational professions, take up care for non blood-related children…the list goes on, but I'll skip those parts as they don't concern our case, Cornelius…which can be found in §27 to §168, do not apply in 'case of guarantee'. 'Case of guarantee' applies when a wizard of legal age who is not blood related to the lycanthrope in question, legally takes up said guarantee for the lycanthrope's actions and dealings._

_As a consequence, the guarantor will be held responsible for all offences against the law caused by the lycanthrope in question."_

_Dumbledore looked up._

_"The paragraph is a lot longer actually, but I think we all can read it on our own if we want to. But the information which concerns this case can be summed up like this:_

_A werewolf is allowed to get custody for a child if another wizard of legal age guarantees for him or her. As simple as that."_

_Fudge shook his head, opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water. After he had regained his composure a little, he shot Nichols and Smith a dark glare because they had not taken this paragraph into consideration as well. Shaking his head, Fudge turned to Dumbledore.  
"Albus, this paragraph was added to grant lycanthropes the possibility to run their own business or to free them from other restrictions if somebody was willing to guarantee for them. It was not designed to decide a custody case."_

_Dumbledore's eyes twinkled behind his half-moon glasses._

_"Then why did they include 'take up care for non blood-related children' into their list, Cornelius? It's there, in the registrations the Ministry uses. No loophole, no bending of laws or definitions. It's clearly stated, so you have to act according to it, no matter what you think the law's origins are."_

_Fudge still shook his head, but then a triumphal smirk spread across his face._

_"You don't seriously think that you can find a guarantor for Lupin. Remember that this is not just signing a paper to get somebody off some taxes. The guarantor is held responsible for the lycanthrope's actions, he can and will be charged hard for any offence. If the werewolf is charged and found guilty of a crime, the guarantor will go to prison for a considerable amount of time. I don't think anybody would risk a life-time sentence in Azkaban for a werewolf."_

_Dumbledore just rose an eyebrow._

_"I would not be too sure if I were you."_

_Fudge shook his head again and gave a harsh laugh._

_"Who do you think would guarantee with his life for the actions of a werewolf? Them?"  
He indicated Richard and Janus with a sly smirk._

_"I hardly think so. Remember Albus: no blood relatives."_

_Dumbledore nodded._

_"I know. They won't be able to take that position. They won't need to, Cornelius. I will do it."_

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Janus stared at the man in front of him for what felt like hours. He had not even realized that the knife had fallen out of his hand.

"Oh Fuck."

It wasn't the peak of eloquence, but it was the first thing that came to his mind.

"Oh Fuck alright Janus. Now would you please let me go? Those stairs aren't the most comfortable place to be, you know?"

Janus quickly shook his head, as if he could get rid of his confusion that way, then he removed his hand from the other's hair and got up.

The man immediately sat down on the stairs and held his injured wrist against his chest, while he curled up and hoped for the throbbing pain in his groin to end.

"Gosh Lucas, what the hell are you doing here? I thought you were a Death Eater!"

Lucas looked up in his partner's face, his features somewhat twisted from the pain in his more sensitive body parts.

"Good, because I had already contemplated turning down the invitation for your birthday party if that's the way you greet your friends. Was it really necessary to slam my wrist against that handrail? I think you've broken it."

Janus ran his hand across his face and through his hair in a frustrated gesture, still trying to figure out just what had happened here during the last couple of minutes. The severity of the situation hit him like a sledgehammer.

If he had been more concerned about being outnumbered, the curses he had shot would not have been mere stunning and disarming spells. Hell, he could have killed his partner and probably would have, had he not wanted to take a look first whether it had been Black trying to enter the house.

With a frustrated sigh, Janus decided that pondering on these thoughts was something he could always resume later. Not he had to sort out this mess and look what damage he had caused to Lucas. Janus hit the switch on the wall and lit the lights again. He went over to Lucas and grabbed him by the elbow of his good arm.

"Let's go into the living room, I'll have a look at it."

Ignoring Lucas' cries of protest and pain, he hauled him to his feet and shoved him into the living room. Once he had placed him on the sofa, he went back to fetch both their wands that had remained on the floor in the hall, forgotten in the confusion after their fight.

"Let me see that wrist, Lucas."

Hesitantly, Lucas moved his arm towards Janus.

"What do you know about first aid, Janus?"

"Enough to mend a broken wrist, in case it really is broken. Now show me your arm."

While he carefully prodded the swollen limb, making Lucas hiss with every touch he applied, he finally found the time to ask what was the most obvious question to him.

"Why the hell didn't you just ring the doorbell, like any other visitor would have done? And what did you want here in the first place?"

"Ouch, carefully Janus! That hurt, you know? 

I've been working on that leak in the Ministry, trying to find out who disabled the wards around Azkaban, and I've stumbled across some weird files I wanted to show you. You weren't at home and Serena told me that you had gone visiting Remus. The house was dark and silent when I approached, so I got worried. I wanted to check whether something had happened or whether the three of you had merely decided to spend the evening somewhere else. I came here and got knocked out by you. So, what is your excuse for all this?

Ouch! Didn't I tell you to be careful?"

Janus gently lowered Lucas' arm onto the armrest of the sofa while he picked up his wand.

"It's broken, just as you guessed."

"Oh great, so you prodded and squeezed it for minutes just to confirm something I already knew. Tell me, was this showing off of your superior medical knowledge really necessary, or do you just enjoy seeing me in pain? 

Can you mend it?"

His tone was angry and impatient, but Janus ignored it and merely nodded.

"Of course I can mend it. Unlike some people I work with, I actually visited one of those first aid courses at work."

He pointed his wand at Lucas' wrist.

"_Resarcio __Ossis."_

Once more, Lucas hissed in pain, but after the spell had done its work, he carefully bent his wrist and was relieved to find that it didn't hurt anymore. Nevertheless, he cradled his arm carefully against his chest again.

"Thanks."

Janus only shook his head.

"We're not finished yet. I distinctly remember that I didn't only hurt your wrist."

Lucas quickly placed both of his hands in his lap and pulled up his knees.

"Oh no. No Janus. Big No. No way I'll let you point your wand…there. No chance in hell, Janus. I'll bear the pain like a man and you'd better pray that you didn't cause any lasting damage."

A sly smile spread across Janus' face.

"You want to tell me that you actually use it? Wow, Lucas I'm impressed. Who is the lucky girl?"

"Janus, you still didn't answer my question."  
"Oh, so it's a lucky guy then?"

"Janus…"

Janus raised his hands and put away his wand.

"Okay, okay, make a big secret out of it. Do you see me care?"

"Janus, I'd really like to know why the house looked deserted and you were hiding in the shadows when I came here."

Dropping into one of the chairs, Janus sighed.

"I put up additional wards today. I thought, if I'm not allowed to tell Remus about Black, I'd at least make sure that the house protections around the house are better. And to prevent Black or any other Death Eater from sneaking near, I put up wards that get triggered by the Dark Mark.

As the alarms went off, I sent Remus and Harry to Hogwarts with a portkey and extinguished all the lights. Somebody was sneaking around the house, tried the back door and then the front door. So I hid in the hall. I couldn't have known that it was you."  
Lucas made a snorting sound.

"And during all the protection-of-the-house process, you didn't consider locking the front door? Really Janus, what were you thinking?"

"Actually, I'm more concerned that it was so easy for me to overwhelm you in the hall. You should have guessed that you could be physically attacked."

Lucas only shook his head.

"For a moment I thought I had recognized you when you came out of that doorframe. And the fact that you didn't use any harmful curses also made me doubt that it was an enemy I was facing."

Janus raised his eyebrow.

"And you didn't think about calling out my name to see if it was me?"  
"I was about to do that, but a certain someone's knee in my groin somehow interfered with that plan."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. You have my most humble apologies, alright? I couldn't have known it was you."

"Maybe you should have told me about those wards, then all this would not have happened. You could have guessed that I would trigger them."  
Janus only shook his head.

"Don't you listen to me? I only set them up today, when should I have told you? And it isn't as if you regularly visit Remus, so I didn't see the need to let you know. But we have a problem."

"What?"

Janus sighed.

"Remus should be at Hogwarts by now. He'll surely come back soon, Dumbledore and Merlin knows who else in tow."

Lucas sank back into the cushions of the sofa and covered his eyes with his left hand.

"What do you suppose we do now?"

"I don't know. Depends on who comes here. And it depends on whether you want to tell. If not, you'd better leave now, I can make up a story."

Lucas shook his head.

"Whatever you come up with, they won't believe you."

Janus shrugged.

"It's your choice. If it's only my brother and Dumbledore, I guess it's safe to tell them. If there are more, we can always say that somebody else attacked and they escaped."

Lucas wanted to repeat something, but at that moment somebody opened the front door. He looked up at Janus.  
"You didn't lock the front door, did you?"

Janus rolled his eyes.

"And when should I have done that? Stay here."

Drawing his wand, Janus got up from the sofa and approached the door. Suddenly, a female voice came from the hall.

"Mr. Lupin? Mr. Lupin, are you here?"

"In the living room."

Janus didn't lower his wand, and only moments later an elderly woman with a stern looking face entered the room. Janus remembered that he had seen her before, but could not determine when or where. She too had raised her wand.

"Who are you?"  
"Minerva McGonagall, Deputy headmistress of Hogwarts. Professor Dumbledore sent me here after your brother arrived at the castle. The two should arrive in a couple of minutes, they just needed to sort out what to do with Harry."

While Janus still contemplated whether he should believe her or not, Lucas' voice came from behind.

"It's okay Janus, I know her."

Janus lowered his wand and gestured McGonagall to enter the living room. As she saw Lucas lying on the sofa, still a little pale and his right hand instinctively cradled at his chest, though it wasn't hurt anymore, she let out a surprised sigh.

"Mr. Spalding, is that you?"

"Glad you remember me, Professor. But I'm not surprised, after all those points you've taken from me over the years."

McGonagall shook her head and stepped closer.

"It's been your own fault that you could never refrain from fighting. You've cost Ravenclaw the house cup more than once, I can tell you. You always got yourself into trouble, and from what I see now this hasn't changed."

She turned to Janus.

"Now, would anybody care to explain what happened here? Your brother was rather worried from what I heard."  
"Yes, an explanation would also help to ease my mind."

The three occupants of the room turned at the sound of the new voice, and Janus inwardly vowed to keep the front door locked all the time from now on. Albus Dumbledore stood in the doorway, a slightly confused and still very concerned Remus at his side. He looked from Janus to Lucas and back again, trying to figure out what all this meant.

"Are you alright Janus? What is Lucas doing here? And what in Merlin's name has happened out there?"  
Remus gestured into the hall where the reminders of the small table and the ruined picture were still lying around.  
Janus grinned somewhat sheepishly and scratched his head with his wand.

"Erm, you see, this is a rather long story."

Remus raised an eyebrow, but Dumbledore seemed to have understood that he was not all that comfortable to tell the story in front of McGonagall. At least that was what he judged from the sideward glances Janus shot at her.

"Minerva, we left Severus where you apparated. Why don't you tell him that the situation is under control and return to the castle? I will sort this out from here."

McGonagall nodded, though her face showed that she was not all that content with being sent away. But nevertheless she relied on Dumbledore's reasons and, nodding her good bye to the four men, she left the room. Moments later the sound of the front door announced that she was gone.

Remus offered Dumbledore a seat in an armchair next to the sofa and sat down on another chair himself. Janus was still leaning against the windowsill.

"Where's Harry?"

"At Hogwarts, in the safe care of the house elfs. We'll fetch him later."

Janus nodded, relieved that Harry was in the safest place he could be. Even if they had not been attacked today, Black was still out there.

"Now," Dumbledore began, "if you don't mind, I think you owe us an explanation."

Janus looked at Lucas, and with a nod of his head his partner rose into a sitting position. He stifled a groan as the pain in his groin flamed up anew.

"What do you want to hear?"

Remus just shook his head.

"What happened after I was gone? Who triggered the wards? Why are you here? Chose one, but finally start explaining."

Lucas sighed.

"It's quite a long story, you know?"

Remus only raised an eyebrow, and with a flick of his wand into the direction of the kitchen, the water kettle on the stove began to boil. Remus summoned a teapot and four cups, then went into the kitchen to fetch the water. After he had prepared the tea, he put the kettle away and sat down again.

"Well, we have time."

Instead of answering immediately, Lucas looked at Janus.

"You're sure it's safe to tell them?"

Janus shrugged.

"I know that they won't tell anybody who could bring you into a compromising situation in the future. But it's your decision. All I can say is that you can trust Remus and Professor Dumbledore to keep it a secret."

Lucas nodded and thought for a moment. Then he looked up again.

"You wonder why the wards around your house were triggered tonight, right?"

Remus nodded.

"That would be my most urgent question at the moment, yes."

"You see, I was searching for Janus because of something we work on at the moment, and his wife told me that he was here. Janus had not told me about the wards he had additionally set up, so I didn't know I would trigger an alarm."

Remus raised an eyebrow, surprise showing on his face. Dumbledore's expression remained impassive, though his eyes had lost their cheerful sparkle and now looked as serious as they could. Since Lucas hesitated a moment before he continued, Remus used that time to vocalize his surprise.

"But Janus told me that his wards would be triggered by the Dark Mark."

Instead of answering, Lucas, still moving his right wrist with care, rolled up the sleeve of his left arm. Faded, but still visible, the tattoo of a skull with a snake creeping out of its mouth came into view. The Dark Mark.

Remus' jaw dropped in astonishment while Dumbledore still didn't twitch a muscle in his face. Janus crossed the room and sat down on the sofa next to Lucas, pouring himself a cup of tea as if the revelation that his partner carried the mark of Voldemort's servants was an everyday occurrence like the sun going up in the morning.

Dumbledore's voice interrupted the tense silence after a moment.

"You give the answer to one question and throw up another one, Mr. Spalding. May I inquire how you come to bear Lord Voldemort's mark?"  
Lucas rolled back the sleeve and scratched his left eyebrow. With a nod at Janus he accepted the cup of the his partner offered him. Running his thumb across the rim of the cup, he thought for a moment before answering.

"This again is a long story, and I'm not allowed to tell you the details. No matter if you're trustable or not, I hope you understand, but neither am I allowed nor willing to reveal details of my work.

I'm in the Department since I was twenty-seven, for ten years now. Four years ago, shortly after Lucas joined the Department and became my partner, the government of a country in south-eastern Europe contacted the Ministry and asked for support in a difficult case they were dealing with.

You have not heard of it before, because both governments agreed to keep it secret, but I trust that nobody in this room believes The Dark Lord or his followers to be gone for good?"

Both Dumbledore and Remus shook their heads. Lucas nodded.

"What I tell you now remains in this room, and I only tell you this because Janus thinks that you, Remus, are trustworthy and because I know that Professor Dumbledore won't be too surprised by it.

Four years ago, a rather large group of the remaining, formerly high ranking, Death Eaters decided to move their focus into a country where they thought they would not be so easily detected. They started assembling and recruiting in south-eastern Europe, gathering forces and re-grouping. After the respective Ministry realized it, they watched this development for some time, but as the group grew bolder and launched their first attacks, they contacted London. Their own Ministry was too small and unorganized to deal with such a situation.

The Ministry sent teams of the Department of Mysteries to assess the situation and take the necessary means. One group was sent for infiltration. That was Janus and me. I guess you can conclude the rest on your own."

Dumbledore nodded while Remus shook his head in complete and utter shock and confusion.

"You…you joined them? Both?"

Janus rolled his eyes and looked at his brother as if he was dumb.

"Of course we had to join them somehow, infiltration is somewhat difficult if you're not part of the group. That's why it's called in-filtration. And no, not both of us. One had to cover the other's back, watch the proceedings from the outside and provide an escape plan in case things went wrong."

Remus still shook his head in disbelief and denial, but he clearly remembered the time when Janus had gone – once more on a mission he wasn't allowed to tell about – four years ago. It had been shortly after his marriage, and he had not returned for nearly seven months. 

Remus had been quite curious at the time what kind of job could have taken that long, but he had soon realized that his brother was by no means willing to tell anything. He guessed that if the two Unspeakables had had enough time to come up with another explanation before he and Dumbledore had arrived, Lucas would not have told them anything about it at all.

But there was still one thing Remus didn't understand.

"But how can a Death Eater be recruited without Voldemort initiating him? From all I know, he has always been the one to create the Dark Mark."

Lucas only shrugged his shoulders.

"It doesn't need Voldemort, it has just been his ritual by the time he was still in power. But to conjure the Dark Mark, you merely need a wizard who knows the right spell. Of course without Voldemort conjuring the Dark Mark, I'm not connected to the Dark Lord himself, but to the Death Eaters who conjured it. All the ones initiated four years ago aren't connected to Voldemort himself. But that is a matter that the Death Eaters planned to change as soon as they had found a way to bring Voldemort back to power."

"Which they are constantly working on."

Dumbledore had not looked up while uttering those words, but both Janus and Lucas nodded. What worried them was that the recent attacks proved that the Death Eaters had started to act in England again, and this most probably meant that they had developed a strategy. They wouldn't be stupid enough, let alone simply able, to launch organized attacks if there wasn't an intelligent mind and a carefully developed plan behind it. The raid in Azkaban had only deepened those concerns.

"And why exactly have you two devastated my hall if it has only been Lucas who triggered the wards?"

Again, Janus grinned quite sheepishly and scratched his head, a sure indication that he was not feeling comfortable.

"Well…you see, Lucas was kinda worried when he arrived here and there were no lights, because he had expected me to be here. So he looked around the house, searching for signs of intruders while I was inside, thinking he was an intruder who sneaked around and searched for a way in. And after he got into the house, it took us some moments to recognize each other. I guess one or two spells have gone awry until then."

Now Remus had some problems to stop himself from grinning widely.

"You two, who work together for such a long time now, were not able to recognize each others voices and fighting style? Sorry, but that's just too ridiculous. You could have hurt each other."

Lucas sighed deeply.  
"Who says we didn't?"

Janus wanted to stop him, but before he could do something against it, Lucas had already said it. That was too much for Remus. He looked at the two men in front of him, high ranking Ministry members with years of fighting practice, and the thought of them shooting curses at each other because they didn't recognize their partner in the dark was just too hilarious.

He broke into a laughing fit that not even Janus' stern look could stop. But what worried Janus even more was that Dumbledore also seemed to find that thought highly amusing, though he did a better job at hiding it.

"I don't think that's funny, Remus."

Remus shook his head and tried to get his laughter under control.

"Oh, but I do. What happened?"

"That's really not important now, Remus."

Remus only grinned.

"Come on, don't let me coax it all out of you."

Janus threw his hands in the air in a gesture of defeat.

"Oh fine, you won't let go until you know it, and either way you'll never let me live it down. I knocked my knee into his groin and broke his wrist on the handrail, alright? Happy now?"

Janus' confession immediately sobered Remus from his mirth as he realized the drastic reality of tonight's events. Janus had thought Lucas to be an intruder, an attacker, and had not hesitated to hurt him physically to stop him. If things had gotten out of hand, if they had not recognized each other in time, one of them might have seriously harmed, or worse, killed the other.

Remus stopped laughing and looked at Lucas worriedly. He knew that his brother could be dangerous when he was attacked, but the thought that Janus had broken his own partner's wrist because he had been trying to defend Remus shocked even him.

"Shouldn't we call a doctor?"

Lucas shook his head.

"Janus has mended the wrist, and I really don't want anybody to point their wands at areas where they aren't supposed to be pointed at. I'm bearing it."

With a glare at his partner he added.

"And if he has caused real damage there, I'll definitely let him know. Rely on that."

Janus just waved a hand into his direction in a dismissive gesture while Dumbledore rose from his seat.

"Well, I'm glad that this has proven to be just a false alarm of some sort. How about returning to Hogwarts and freeing young Harry from the hands of the house elfs? Though he's most welcome to spend his night in one of the guest suites."

Remus shook his head.

"I think once the novelty of Hogwarts and the house elfs has worn off, he'll get worried again. I want to have him here tonight, it's way past his bedtime already. Besides, if we leave him, those elfs will have spoilt him rotten by tomorrow morning."

Dumbledore chuckled and moved towards the door. 

"Well, then let's rescue young Mr. Potter before the elfs manage to turn him against the comfort of his own home."

Lucas nodded.

"I should go home as well. Stella should be worried by now."

Janus raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, so Stella is the young lady because of whom you were so concerned about your…_little Lucas. When do I get to meet her?"_

"When you have learned some manners."

"Oh, I fear that until then she might have realized how kinky you are, who knows if she's still there by then?"

Lucas sighed and inwardly counted to ten. Normally he could bear Janus' attitude and participated gladly in his little jests, but his partner had already broken his wrist tonight. Even Lucas' patience wore off quickly after such incidents.

"What, pray, do you know about me being kinky?"

Janus stopped dead in his tracks, causing Remus to nearly run into him, and held his hands over his heart in a gesture of feigned hurt.

"Don't tell me you don't remember that night? I thought I had meant something to you, do you want to tell me that I was just a meaningless affair?"

"Good night Janus. And if you know what's good for you, you'd better turn up on time for work tomorrow. At least for once. I still have to show you the files because of which I originally wanted to see you tonight. Before you broke my arm and destroyed my hope of ever having children."

Before Janus could come up with a response to that, Lucas nodded his good bye at Remus and left the house. Dumbledore was already waiting outside.

Janus grabbed his coat, but before he could leave as well, Remus held him back with a hand on his shoulder.

"There's just one more thing I want to know, Janus."

His brother shook his head.

"If it's about that mission back then, forget it. Lucas already told you more than I would have. Just leave it be."

"It's not about the mission as such, and I won't let you out of that door before you answered me."

Janus looked into his brother's eyes and realized that he was serious. He nodded.

"Alright, make this fast."  
Remus inhaled deeply and met his brother's eyes.

"How did you and Lucas decide which one of you was to infiltrate and which one was to cover the other's back?"  
Janus sighed. Of all the questions Remus could have asked, this was the one he had absolutely no intention to answer. He knew his brother well enough to guess that he truly would not let go until he had his answer, but he also knew that he couldn't give the answer Remus wanted to hear. Remus hoped for an explanation along the lines of Lucas' superior knowledge, his longer years of field-experience or the fact that his partner had volunteered. Remus would not like the true answer. Nevertheless, he gave it.

"We threw a coin."

Remus' eyes widened.

"You threw a coin?"

Janus shrugged.

"Yeah. A sickle. You know, small silver thing, used for paying, Gringott's Goblins are quite eager to lay their hands on them?"

"You threw a coin to decide which one of you would become a Death Eater?"

Janus nodded.

"Yes. I was opting for a game of tic-tac-toe, but we had no pen and paper. Lucas had a sickle and so we threw it. Tails won, he had to go."

"And if tails had lost?"

Janus' expression sobered and, all former mirth vanishing form his face, he put his hands on Remus' shoulders and gave his brother a very serious look.

"If tails had lost, then I would have done the infiltrating. 

Remus, you know that my job is dangerous. It's what we had to do back then and we have done it. I have chosen this job and I'm well aware of the possible consequences. I have always in mind that I can die on one of those missions, I know that one mistake can cost my life. Do yourself a favour and don't brood over it. Just forget it, alright? You can't change it."

Hesitantly, Remus nodded. 

After the events of this evening, suddenly the thought about Janus' job sent shivers down his spine. If it hadn't been Lucas, but a 'real' Death Eater, or worse a whole group of them, who had attacked this night, Janus would have risked his life. Risked his life just to protect him and Harry, and after they had gone just to protect the bloody house and attempt to catch the intruders single-handedly.

And every time he went on one of his missions, he was in even more danger. He and Janus might not be as close as brothers could be, but though he might have said it a couple of times in the heat of the moment, Remus didn't wish Janus to come to any harm. He cared for his older brother, though their strained past sometimes made it difficult for him to show this.

Remus felt the sudden urge to hug his brother and gave in to that urge without really thinking about it.

Janus was startled and stiffened immediately as his brother embraced him. Affection in general had been a problem between them ever since they had been little, showing affection was something that had not taken place for as long as Janus could remember. He didn't really know how to deal with it.

"You alright, Remus?"

"Thanks for watching out for Harry and me tonight. I'm really glad that you set up those wards and that you were around when the alarms went off."

Janus patted Remus' back somewhat awkwardly.

"You're welcome Remus."

He withdrew from the embrace and gave his brother a grin.

"Now let's not get all soppy here, alright? I'd better be off before Serena tears my head off and you'd better fetch the little one. I guess he was rather disturbed by all that happened."

Remus nodded.

"Yeah, he was. I only hope that the excitement about being at Hogwarts has prevented him from thinking about it."

Janus laughed.

"And that those house elfs didn't give him too many sweets. If he's high on sugar you won't get him into bed tonight."

Remus sighed.

"Yes, I hope Mindy didn't overfeed him. Or worse – lost him in the corridors. I'm really not up for searching a small child in the castle tonight."

"Oh, if you can't trust a house elf anymore, whom can you trust?"

Remus only shook his head at this comment, and both men left the house. Dumbledore still waited patiently outside, and while Janus apparated home, Remus and the old headmaster apparated to the gates of Hogwarts.

Remus needn't have worried about finding Harry in a sugar frenzy, when he and Dumbledore entered the kitchens, Mindy immediately came running towards them. She held a finger across her lips.

"Masters must be very quiet here. Master Harry Potter fell asleep half an hour ago, masters must not wake him up."

Looking past the small elf, Remus could not prevent smiling. Harry was sitting in a chair, his arms crossed on the table and his head resting on them. His lips were smeared with something that looked suspiciously like chocolate icing, and in front of him stood an empty plate with some crumbs on it and a half-empty glass with milk. 

Remus turned towards Dumbledore.

"If the offer about the guest suites still stands, I think I'd accept it now. Harry would only wake up if we travelled home tonight."  
Dumbledore smiled.

"Of course Remus. Mindy will prepare one of the rooms for you."

"Thank you. And I'm sorry that we worried you with that false alarm tonight."

Dumbledore raised his hand and gestured Remus to stop.

"No, that was alright. The Ministry might not be too concerned about Harry's safety, but I think we need to provide him with all the protection we can give. Better a false alarm than an attack without forewarning. I'll talk to your brother about those wards again, I'm sure together we can improve them."

"Thank you Albus."

"You're welcome. Mindy will show you the room, I'm sure you want to clean up the traces of Harry's…dinner on his face before you go to bed. Good night Remus."

"Good night Albus."

With another smile and a nod of his head, Dumbledore left the kitchens, and while Mindy disappeared to prepare the room another elf handed Remus a damp cloth. He nodded his thanks and crouched down next to his sleeping godson. Gently he wiped away the traces of chocolate around Harry's mouth. Harry didn't as much as stir. Whatever Mindy had done with him, it surely had tired him out.

Carefully, not wanting to wake him, Remus lifted Harry into his arms and followed another house elf out of the kitchens. 

They didn't have to walk long before they reached the guest suites, the house elf that was guiding Remus knew many short cuts even the former prankster and co-creator of the Marauder's Map had never seen before. After maybe five minutes, the elf opened a door in a quiet corridor and led Remus into the room.

Like all Hogwarts guest suites, it was equipped with a rather large sitting room, next to which a bedroom and a small bathroom were located. Mindy just appeared in the doorframe of the bedroom.

"Shall Mindy set up an extra bed here in the sitting room for young Master Harry Potter?"

Remus shook his head.

"No, thank you Mindy. One bed will be more than enough for tonight, Harry is already asleep anyway."

The elf nodded.

"Mindy has put out some nightclothes for Master Potter and you sir. They're on the bed. Can Mindy do anything more for Master, sir?"

Remus shook his head and smiled.

"No, thank you very much. Good night, Mindy."

"Good night sir."

And with a pop, the elf was gone.

Remus carried Harry into the bedroom and put him down on the large four-poster. He quickly changed into the nightshirt that lay on the bed and then undressed Harry carefully and put him into the pyjama Mindy had lain out. As he tucked the child in and lay down on the bed himself, Harry stirred and opened a bleary eye.

"Remus?"

Noticing that they were in unfamiliar surroundings, Harry opened the other eye and tried to sit up to have a closer look around. Remus put a hand on his shoulder and held him down.

"Go back to sleep, Harry. We're still at Hogwarts, I didn't want to travel all the way back home tonight."

The boy yawned widely, then he seemed to remember why they had come to the castle in the first place and his eyes grew wide with re-kindled fear.

"And the bad men?"  
"Shhh, there were no bad men. It's been a false alarm, nothing happened. Janus is alright and safe at his house, and we'll go home tomorrow. Now go back to sleep, pup."  
Harry seemed to process this information for a moment, then he nodded and moved closer to Remus on the huge bed. Remus smiled and ran a hand through Harry's unruly hair.

"Good night pup."

"Night Remus."

Harry closed his eyes and within minutes, his breathing had evened and he was fast asleep again. Remus however was kept awake by his thoughts about the events of the last hours for quite some time. One thought crossed his mind which he had not thought about during all the confusion of the evening. Why had Janus felt the need to set up Dark Mark repelling wards in the first place? There had been no Death Eater activities for years now, this was strange behaviour even for Janus. And though Remus pondered this thought over and over again, he didn't find an answer. He would have to ask Janus about it, though he feared that his brother would just evade answering like he always did. Finally exhaustion caught up with him and he too fell asleep.


	9. Moony

Sorry this took a little longer to get out, but real life decided to interfere once more, and then there was this little fic I had promised Eva that I needed to get out. Besides, after chapter eight I had to finally make up my mind about which role the characters would play in the further cause of the story. Remember that I had two possible outcomes in mind? Well, now it is settled. I just hope it'll turn out alright. And at the end of this chapter, the 'real action' will finally begin. So – rather revel the peaceful setting in the beginning of the chapter, it's getting darker now. Oh, and the end is slightly altered from the version in the preview. Just thought I'd let you know.

A/N for the week:

**Anystaza: Yeah, I know. Sorry. But the revelation was in chapter 8, so you didn't have to wait for that long.**

**Sailor **Sol**: You were hoping that Lucas was evil? What? Better him than Sirius, what? But it looks slightly different, wouldn't you agree?**

Violence and Swearing in P.A.R.'s next story, now that sounds promising. But, judged from the previews on Orion, I would not have expected anything less, I have to admit that.

Have given up all hope on snow for this winter. Or any winter to come, to be precise. Germany isn't made for snow anymore, I think. Too warm.

**Kathleen: Yepp, it was Lucas as you have realized by now. I try to post as regularly as possible, and so far it works out. Hope this stay like that in the future.**

**Padfoot1979: Let me guess: you thought the Death Eater was Lucas, didn't you? Man, I thought that was really a surprise, but then I had to find out that most of you had already guessed it. I just hope that the reason why he is a Death Eater came as some sort of surprise at least.**

**kateydidn't: Yepp, it was Lucas. It would be a nice idea, but it wasn't Snape who gave Lucas his Dark Mark. It was somebody else.**

**Moonlight: Thank you. I wanted it to sound funny, but with serious undertones. After all, they could have seriously hurt each other. You'll see what will happen to Harry in the next chapter, I think. And then the shit will hit the fan…**

**sarahpeach**: No, Lucas didn't come to attack Remus and Harry, but I thought that was a nice little double twist in the plot. Not all that surprising, but a nice little detail. Glad you kinda like Lucas, thought. Yepp, I will show Remus picking Harry up, it should be in the next chapter, I think. I promise some Vernon! But mostly, Remus picking Harry up fits perfectly with what will happen in the other timeline during that chapter. You'll see. For Sirius, you'll have to wait a little longer (and don't even ask, the story was planned to be size of The Last Marauder, but by now it's nearly The Final Battle-epic length. Oh. My. God.).

Glad you decided to finish your story, I'll read and review. 

Thanks again.

**Aeryn **Alexander**: (chapter 01): Thanks. Yeah, Janus really reminds a little of Percy. Though he's a lot tougher. But you're right, there are a lot of Percys in the world. The Meat Loaf-parts were put in out of my momentary mood that time, but I don't think there'll be more songs in the fic. Maybe at the end, but right now I don't think so.**

(chapter 02): Harry definitely was too advanced for the age of 18 months, but I settled for the explanation that wizarding children are like that (thought I don't find it satisfactory), because him talking like that was needed for the plot.

(chapter 04): Up to this week, I too didn't have a precise idea as to where this story was going…

(chapter 06): Glad you like the flashback technique. And yes, the people at the Ministry have to be so narrow-minded. After all, that's what one often meets in Real Life™.

(chapter 07): Yes, Janus is very versatile. I like him a lot. But he's also only human…

(chapter 08): Ah, don't feel dumb. Actually I wanted to make it look as if it was Sirius, and I'm glad that at least some people fell for it. I always think that my legal workings are a little too flat and convenient, but because I'm no lawyer I do all I can and hope it works out. Glad you find it believable.

**Nagini: Yeah, the chapter was meant to be funny in some parts of it. Especially the interaction between Janus and Lucas – I mean, imagine nearly killing off your colleague and friend…**

I didn't answer your question about Sirius because that would spoil the story. You'll get to know what's up with him in later chapters, I promise. Maybe even next chapter, I don't really know yet how much comes in between till then.

Okay, I know that I've risked getting hit with the muffin of doom because I didn't update so long, I hope you can forgive me. But I still don't understand what you have against Ron. Can I calm you down and promise you that there will definitely be no Ron in this story?

**WittchWay: Thank you!**

**anaticulapraecantrix: Yepp, Dumbledore did that for Remus. And yepp, it was Lucas. I don't know why everybody was able to guess that it would be him…**

**sk8reagle: Thank you. But don't blame me if you neglect your homework because of an update. Though I can understand it, that's precisely what I do when a story I read gets updated.**

**Starlette: I have to admit that I was laughing out more than once as well when I wrote that scene. Maybe tell your sister and her flatmate, so they know that at least you're not alone in your weirdness. *g* But I'm glad you like it. You fell like you're bonding with Janus? WOW, finally! Somebody who appreciates him! *hugs***

**tinytoonyloonyme**: Thank you. And I can understand that speaking German is easier than writing or reading it, I know that it's sometimes a really painful language that doesn't seem to follow any rules at all. Aber trotzdem: Dankeschön!

**A.Dee: Yepp, it was only Lucas. You're right, everything is possible in the FairyTale world, but Janus trusts Lucas, and for now this is enough reason for me to trust him, too. See what writing fanfics has done to me? Those characters have a life of their own…HELP! *g***

**thewalrus**: Thank you. You're the first one to notice it: Yes, Harry still has the lion. I thought it was a cute idea, and it'll be important for him later on. And no, you can't marry them. Harry is too young, and Remus is…not available. MINE! *g*

I guess you meant whether I will show how Harry will be brought home by Remus once he got the custody? The answer is: yes, I will. It'll be in the next chapter, and it'll be important that it's in the next chapter. You'll see (if you pay attention).

**Naomi **SilverWolf**: Thank you!**

**Bookworm2000: Okay, okay. I sometimes think that my computer has a mind of its own as well. Be glad that your singing voice only sounds like that when you're sick. Mine's like that all the times. Yepp, Lucas-bashing instead of Janus-bashing. Really, did you actually think I'd hurt my favourite character? Don't think so, at least not yet.**

**Morgan D.: Big thanks to you for your long and detailed review. It's good to know where I slipped and what I did wrong, and sometimes your wild guesses are a great source of inspiration.**

**Moony**

Remus woke up the next morning because his bed was shaking.

His eyes still closed, Remus frowned. His bed didn't normally shake, that much he knew even though his sleep-fogged brain refused to work properly so shortly after waking up.

Slowly, he opened one eye and took a look around the room that came into focus after blinking once or twice. 

Remus didn't recognize the room, and immediately his other eye shut open and he leaned himself up onto his elbows.

His eyes scanned the room, and as his gaze settled on the Hogwarts crest stitched into the curtains of the four-poster he was lying in, the memory of the previous night's events returned.

Janus' alarms had been set off and he had brought Harry into the safety of Hogwarts. And though it had only been Lucas who had triggered the wards, something Remus intended to talk about with his brother once he got home, he and Harry had stayed at the castle.

They were in one of the guest suites of Hogwarts.

And his bed was still shaking.

With a sigh, Remus turned around to his left where his godson was supposed to be lying. A pair of bright green eyes under a mop of unruly black hair hopped up and down in front of him, and Harry's mouth shot him a wide grin which showed his two missing front teeth in all their glory.

The face of his godson kept on hopping up and down in front of his eyes while Harry was jumping on the mattress.

Remus groaned.

It was too early for something like that.

"Good morning, Remus."

Harry's voice sounded far too cheerful for such an unholy hour.

"Morning."

Ignoring Remus' rather grumpy voice, Harry shot him another toothless grin. One of his upper and one of his lower front teeth had recently fallen out and now gave his face a rather odd look when he smiled widely.

He once more jumped up from the mattress, into the air, and launched himself full force on top of Remus, his arms and knees bent to balance the impact.

"Ouch!"

Remus' face twisted painfully as his godson's sharp joints dug into his chest and stomach with the impact of all his light weight. But he was awake within an instant. Rubbing his aching ribs with his hands, he shot Harry a mock glare.

"You know pup, you ought to have a weapon's licence for those elbows. They're sharp."

Harry just smiled and cuddled closer to Remus, hugging his arms around his neck and burying his face in Remus' nightshirt.

"Sleep well, pup?"

Harry nodded and looked up, his eyes wide with curiosity and excitement.

"You gonna show me the castle today, Remus? The secret passages? And Hagrid's hut? Are we going to visit Hagrid? Please?"

Remus laughed at his godson's eagerness and cuddled him close again, scratching the morning stubble on his cheek against Harry's face on purpose.

Harry giggled and pulled back.

"You're itchy."

Remus laughed.

"Itchy?"

Harry nodded, and upon seeing the look on Remus' face, scooted away from his godfather. He knew that grin on Remus' face, and he knew what it implied for him. Remus eyed him with a predatory look.  
"You're ticklish, Harry?"

Harry shook his head and tried to crawl as close to the edge of the huge bed as possible, never taking his eyes off of Remus.

"You're not ticklish?"

Again, Harry shook his head and tried to jump off the bed.

But Remus reacted too fast for the seven year old to escape and within moments he had jumped bolt upright, had leaped across the bed and had his godson pinned underneath him.

The boy was struggling against Remus' hold, but his godfather was too strong for him.

"Not ticklish, no?"

Without waiting for an answer, Remus pulled up Harry's pyjama top and started tickling his sides mercilessly. Harry squirmed under Remus' arms, but could not hold back the giggles that were escaping his mouth.

"Stop…Remus…stop!"

"Not ticklish, no? I think you were lying, young man."

Harry laughed and squirmed even more strongly. Remus took a deep breath and bent down over Harry, using the one means that had so far never failed in making Harry laugh. He blew a raspberry onto Harry's stomach.

The child squealed, but Remus continued his assault without mercy.

"Stop…please, Remus."

"You want to admit that you're ticklish?"

Harry nodded, his eyes screwed shut.  
"Yes…ticklish…yes, stop Remus. Please."

Hearing his godson's confession, Remus stopped his attack and grinned down at Harry. The child was still giggling slightly between his panting breaths and his face was flushed. With the sleeve of his pyjama he wiped away a laughing tear from his cheek.

"That's what you get for waking me up like that, pup."

Remus grinned and ran a hand along his chin.

"Now, I'm going to take a shower and make myself less 'itchy' before we get down to breakfast."

"Can we visit Mindy in the kitchens for breakfast?"

Remus rolled his eyes. He should have known that leaving Harry with the house elfs would have its consequences, knowing the creatures' liking for children they had surely been over the moon with excitement when Harry had turned up last evening.

"If you're washed up and dressed by the time I come out of the shower then yes, we'll visit Mindy before we leave."

With this, Remus got up from the bed and went into the adjourning bathroom, longing for a long and hot shower.

He left the bathroom door unlocked so that Harry could come in and wash himself up, then he took off his nightshirt and went behind the curtain to shower.

A long hot shower was definitely something he had needed after a day like the previous. After a couple of minutes, he heard Harry come into the bathroom, followed by the sound of water splashing into the sink.

Remus listened attentively, a smile playing around his lips. And – just as he had thought – minutes later he heard Harry sneaking towards the bathroom door again.

"Harry, I'm sure you'd not forget brushing your teeth, especially not after that chocolate feast you had yesterday evening."

A loud sigh was all Remus received as an answer, and moments later he could hear the water running again and the sound of a toothbrush in use.

Remus smiled. Sometimes he knew the little one all too well.

Fifteen minutes, a shaving spell and an unsuccessful attempt to comb Harry's hair later, both Remus and Harry were dressed and ready to leave for breakfast. 

Harry impatiently tucked at Remus' hand.

"Do we go to the kitchens now? Do we visit Mindy?"

Remus sighed and allowed Harry to pull him out of the door.

"We'll visit Mindy before we leave, but first we'll have breakfast and say goodbye to Professor Dumbledore."

Harry didn't look to excited about this, so Remus quickly decided to change the topic. He stopped in the middle of the staircase, already nearly down in the entrance hall, and looked around as if he had never been in this particular place before.

"Now my, I seem to have forgotten the way to the Great Hall, can you imagine that?"

Remus knew fully well that the Great Hall and Dumbledore's office (and from this day on the kitchens, he added as a mental note) were the only places in the castle Harry had been in often enough to remember their location.

Harry stared at his godfather, thought for a moment, then frowned his nose.  
'Caught in the act', Remus thought, suspecting the child to see through his little act immediately. But if Harry did, he didn't show it. He merely grabbed Remus' hand and dragged him into the corridor to their left.

"This way, Remus."

They ran along the corridor, through a door at their left, past the antechamber, into the Great Hall – and straight into Albus Dumbledore who had just been about to leave the room.

Their wild run came to an abrupt halt and Remus grinned sheepishly at his former headmaster. The older man smiled gently at the two newcomers.

"Ah, good morning Harry, Remus. I see you're already full of energy at such an early hour."

Harry said nothing to the older wizard, so Remus attempted to explain their mad chase, inwardly feeling like a student caught in an attempted prank again.

"Good morning Albus. You see…the way to the Great Hall must have slipped my mind, but fortunately Harry remembered."

Surprisingly agile for his age, Dumbledore bent down to eye level with the seven year old child. Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled mischievously.

"Now young Harry, it seems you already know the castle quite well."

Again, Harry frowned his nose.

"Remus didn't forget the way, he just said he had."

"Oh, I wouldn't be too sure Harry. Remus isn't the youngest anymore, and old people tend to forget things."

For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, Remus did the unthinkable and glared in a scolding way at his old headmaster and mentor. Harry only stared between the two men, his mouth wide open.

Remus decided to ignore him for the moment.

"Albus, thank you again for your hospitality."

Dumbledore raised his hands.

"Nothing to thank me for, Remus. It's always a pleasure to have young Harry and you in the castle."

"It's been our pleasure, Albus. Especially since Harry seems to have discovered his liking for house elfs.

We'll have to make another visit down in the kitchens before we leave."

Dumbledore's eyes sparkled again.

"I trust you remember the way down into the kitchens?"

Remus laughed.

"There are some things I guess I'll never forget. Though I might be getting old, as some people did observe."

The older wizard chuckled.

"Enjoy your breakfast, Remus. And if you see your brother, please tell him that I'd like to talk to him about those wards around your house."

"I will Albus. Good bye."

"Good bye Remus. And if there's ever something suspicious happening again, you're free to come here. I'll have another portkey prepared and sent to you."

"Thank you."

Dumbledore smiled down at Harry.  
"Good bye Harry."

The small boy smiled up at him, showing his missing front teeth in a very wide grin.

"Bye professor."

Dumbledore turned towards the door, leaving the younger man and the child no their way to breakfast.

Harry had reached for Remus' hand again and looked up at his godfather in a very severe way.

The old wizard smiled as he heard Harry speak again.

"Remus, are you really old?"

Dumbledore chuckled and hurried towards the staircase to escape his former student's wrath. The stone walls, however, transported the rest of the conversation clearly audible towards his ears.

"No Harry, I'm not old. I'm older than you, but a lot younger than Professor Dumbledore."

A pause.

"Remus, how old are you?"

"Nearly twenty-eight."

Another pause, this time slightly longer.

"Remus, that is old."

"Albus!"

The old wizard chuckled and quickly hurried up the stairs before Remus could realize that he was still close by.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_Fudge looked thunderstruck after Dumbledore's announcement, an expression only matched by the look of sheer disbelief on Remus' face. For some long moments, all occupants of the room did nothing but stare at the old wizard, who held his firm blue-eyed gaze fixed on the still gaping Minister of Magic._

_After what seemed like a little eternity, Fudge had himself under enough control again to speak._

_"Albus, you can't be serious about this."_

_Still not taking his eyes off him, Dumbledore just nodded._

_"Believe me Cornelius, I am serious about it. As serious as I could be."_

_"But…but…", Fudge spluttered, "he's…I mean, he's…you know…"_

_Dumbledore just raised his eyebrows._

_"A werewolf you want to say? Yes, I'm aware of that. But he's also a person who has my utmost faith, and he is the one I believe to be the best guardian possible for Harry."_

_For the first time since Dumbledore had begun playing his cards, Remus spoke up again.___

_"Professor, could I talk to you for a moment? Outside?"_

_Turning to Fudge again, Dumbledore gave a small smile._

_"I believe a little break would be in order Cornelius, wouldn't it? I'm sure Mr. Nichols, Mrs. Smith and you have a lot to talk about."_

_Swallowing hard, Fudge nodded._

_"Of course.__ We interrupt this hearing for ten minutes."_

_Dumbledore got up from his chair and moved towards the door which Remus held open. After a short moment of hesitation, Janus and Richard followed them outside. Not so much because they wanted to overhear Remus' conversation with Dumbledore, Richard guessed that it was a rather private discussion his son intended, but they definitely didn't want to remain in a room with Fudge at the moment._

_The Minister of Magic looked as if he was ready to explode any minute, uneasily flipping through the folders in front of him, only stopping to glare deadly daggers at Nichols and Smith. _

_Once the door was closed, Richard pulled his older son down the corridor towards the coffee dispenser, away from Remus and Dumbledore to give them some privacy._

_While they went away, Remus turned to face his former headmaster._

_"Professor, I really don't think it's a wise idea to do that."_

_Dumbledore looked at him, his eyes and face not betraying what was going on inside of his mind._

_"Remus, believe me that I'm very well aware of the consequences."_

_But Remus only shook his head._

_"No Professor, with all due respect, but I think you're not. I've known about that paragraph in the werewolf regulations, I've known about it all along. But there is a reason why I never took into consideration to make use of it in the custody case._

_Professor, even if the paragraph would allow blood-relatives to take the role of the guarantor, I would not have wanted Dad or Janus to do that for me. I wouldn't because I could not live with the thought that they'd get thrown into Azkaban if I only slipped once. _

_Don't you understand? I don't necessarily need to bite somebody or do anything else during a full moon night, it would be enough if I break a single law in my human form to get the guarantor into really big trouble. _

_You'd be pawning your life for me, Professor. Your life. If I commit a crime, or even if I only get accused of having committed a crime it could mean a long-term imprisonment in Azkaban for you. I couldn't live knowing that every mistake I make could cause you such harm. I'm not worth it."_

_Remus felt as if the blue eyes of the old man in front of him were seeing right through his determined facial expression, directly into his mind._

_Dumbledore might appear to the unobservant watcher to be nothing more than an old man, somewhat quirky and even a little fragile. But at this moment, as he was piercing through Remus' defences with nothing but his gaze, the werewolf not for the first time realized what a powerful person was standing in front of him. And not for the first time he asked himself whether Dumbledore could read minds._

_"Don't you agree that Harry's wellbeing would be worth it?"_

_Remus thought for a long moment. Then he shook his head._

_"You know that there is nothing I want more than taking Harry out of this poor excuse of a home. But if that means you pawning your life for my actions, I don't think it's a step I'd be willing to take."_

_Dumbledore shook his head and his expression saddened a little._

_"Remus, it pains me to see how little trust and faith you have in yourself."_

_"Professor, you know that I don't trust myself. There's just too much that could happen, I don't have any control over myself once the full moon is up. And even during the time before that one night a month I can feel the wolf pulling. I'm in a constant struggle to keep control over my mind, and there are times when it's hard for me not to lose my temper. I don't think it's a good idea to drag you into that danger as well."_

_Dumbledore sat down on one of the chairs that stood in the long corridor. _

_"Tell me Remus, when have you ever lost that struggle? When have you ever lost control over yourself and allowed the wolf to take over? Have you ever done something that should cause me not to trust you and your self-restraint?"_

_Remus fell into a chair opposite to his former headmaster and looked at him with a pained expression._

_"I nearly killed Severus Snape, I don't think that you have forgotten that. I for one never did."_

_Dumbledore raised a hand and gestured him to stop._

_"I don't think that this could count as evidence against your self-restraint, as it was not your doing that caused this incident. It was solely to blame on Sirius Black and on Severus' own disregard for the explicit rules concerning the Whomping Willow at that time. _

_It had nothing to do with you abusing the faith I have put and still put into you."_

_Remus only shook his head. _

_The older wizard didn't know it, still didn't know it, but Remus indeed had abused Dumbledore's trust. He had thrown away all precaution, had no longer considered what a great gift his headmaster had graced him with when he had allowed the young werewolf to gain a magical education. Remus had betrayed the older man's trust at the moment when he had allowed his friends to become illegal animagi, and he had carried forth this breach of trust every time he had left the Shrieking Shack during full moon nights. He had endangered the lives of others in his youthful optimism, in the unjustified belief that nothing would happen. _

_He had not earned to be trusted by Dumbledore ever since he had first acted against the restrictions that should protect him and others. And yet he had never found the courage to entrust the wise old man with this failure of his. _

_Dumbledore still trusted him, though there was no reason for him to do that. And here he was now, offering to pawn his own life for Remus, oblivious to the fact that he had already been betrayed deeply._

_And even now, Remus didn't find the courage to admit it. How could he tell Dumbledore, and how could he tell him now, straight after he had offered him to sacrifice that much? What impression would it make on Minister Fudge if Dumbledore would take his offer back just like he had made it, because he had had to realize that a werewolf indeed could never be trusted._

_Could he really allow himself to ruin Dumbledore's reputation in the eyes of the Minister of Magic?_

_Sensing that the younger man in front of him was going through an inner struggle, though what kind of inner struggle he could not really tell, Dumbledore leaned forward in the narrow corridor and put his hands on Remus' knees. Remus looked up, his amber eyes telling without words about his confusion and concern. Something was bothering him, something that kept him from willingly accepting the fact that he was indeed trusted, and worth that trust._

_"Remus, believe me that I have spent great many thoughts on that matter before I came here and made that offer today. I was hoping that it would not be necessary at all, that the Ministry caseworkers would allow you a fair chance in your hearings. But I was wrong._

_As wrong as I might have been when I decided to give Harry into the care of his relatives.__ But it's not a wrong that can't be undone anymore, and I'm willing to correct this mistake of mine._

_And through the past months, I had the chance to observe how you are feeling about all this. I had feared that the initial idea to gain custody for Harry was just a means for you to get over the hurt of your losses. Again – I was wrong._

_I'm convinced that your are both willing and able to offer Harry a better home to grow up in than the one he is currently living in._

_I would not offer this to anybody, Remus. I can only repeat that I trust you. I think I have gotten to know you well enough during your time at school and even after that. Because you were no ordinary student, because there was always an eye to keep on you, looking out whether your lycanthropy affected you farther than we all thought._

_You have never once disappointed my faith in you, on the contrary everything you have done and achieved ever since you came to Hogwarts has only confirmed me that it was no mistake to put my faith in you._

_You would never willingly and consciously do anything to breach my trust or to make me doubt my choice, I am convinced of that. _

_And that is reason enough for me to offer me as your guarantor. I am aware of the possible consequences and I'm willing to do it. There is nothing you further need to worry about."_

_Dumbledore gave Remus some moments to allow his words to sink in. The younger man ran his hands through his hair in a gesture of frustration._

_His thoughts were still circling around the fact that despite everything Dumbledore might be thinking, he was not worth his trust. Not after he had abused it already._

_But then, Remus didn't really know why, something Janus had said to him a couple of months ago came to his mind. Something he had asked him after Nichols had turned down his first petition._

_'Remus, are you doing this for yourself, or are you doing this for Harry?'_

_Again, he didn't like to admit it, but Janus was still right about this. If he were doing it for his own reputation, Remus would not hesitate a second to turn down Dumbledore's offer. But fact remained that he wasn't doing this for himself. He was doing it for Harry, and he owed James' and Lily's son to do anything he could think of to grant him a better start into life. _

_Remus looked up._

_"I wish you had told me about this before we came here today."_

_Dumbledore smiled._

_"Would you have come at all in that case?"_

_A small smile tucked at the corners of Remus' lips._

_"Probably not."___

_"You see?"_

_Dumbledore looked at the clock on the wall and got up._

_"I think we'd better go inside again before the Minister thinks we have decided to leave."_

_Remus nodded and rose from his chair as well. He looked at Dumbledore intensely. _

_"Thank you Professor. I can't thank you enough for doing this."_

_Dumbledore just smiled._

_"You're perfectly welcome, Remus. Let's get back in, shall we?"_

_He opened the door for Remus and allowed him to step in first. Janus and Richard were just about to come back from the coffee dispenser and together the four men re-entered the office to complete the hearing._

_Minister Fudge didn't seem to have calmed down at all during the past minutes. He was still glaring dangerously at the two caseworkers beside him. Nichols was pale in the face, and Smith didn't look much better. Remus guessed that the Minister had let his anger about being outwitted by Dumbledore out on them while he, Dumbledore and his family had been outside. Well, he could not care less._

_Fudge looked up as they sat back down onto their chairs. _

_"Do you still consider that ridiculous idea of offering yourself as a guarantor for a werewolf?"_

_Behind himself, Remus could hear his father breathe in sharply. Richard had never appreciated if somebody had talked about his son as if he was no human at all, but today Remus really hoped that his brother would be able to calm him down before he said something he might have regretted._

_They really didn't need to irate Fudge any further than he already was._

_Dumbledore must have been thinking along the same lines, for his answer was very calm and controlled._

_"I do indeed, Cornelius."_

_Fudge stared hard at him, then he shot Remus a look of absolute and complete loathing before he focussed his eyes on the files again._

_"Rest assured that we will check the legality of what you propose thoroughly before making a decision. After all, it's Harry Potter we're speaking about, I would not want to place him in a risky environment without any legal basis at all._

_I just hope that you have truly made up your mind about all this, Albus, though I seriously doubt it._

_You'll hear from us as soon as we've gone through the laws and regulations once more, Lupin."_

_With this, Fudge nodded at them and got up from his chair, leaving the room with Nichols and Smith in tow._

_Dumbledore smiled at Remus who had a look of utter disbelief in his eyes again._

_"That's been it?"_

_Dumbledore shrugged._

_"I guess. At least for today."_

_Janus interrupted._

_"What did he mean, 'they'll check the legality' of it again? They're searching for a way to decline the petition, once and for all, aren't they?"_

_Dumbledore nodded. Seeing that Janus wanted to continue, he raised a hand._

_"But they won't find anything. Not without breaking the laws themselves. Don't worry about this, I've checked everything myself quite thoroughly before I came here. There is no loophole they could use, no other law they could bring into play. It might take them another couple of weeks, but in the end they'll have to grant the petition."_

_Remus looked up._

_"That means we've done it?"_

_Dumbledore turned his eyes on Remus and couldn't help but smile._

_"If nothing unforeseen happens, then yes, they can't do anything but grant you custody over Harry."_

_Remus bit his lower lip and didn't even feel his father put a hand onto his shoulder in silent congratulations. After all those months, he had not really believed that this day would finally come. But now it was as close as it had never been before._

_Only a couple of weeks more, and then he'd finally have Harry home with him._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Moony was pacing. Literally.

Remus Lupin would, if asked, have been the first to confirm that the wolf was always a part of his personality, of his mind, no matter what phase the moon was currently in.

And normally Moony was more or less successfully fighting for the control of Remus' mind, but throughout the years he had gotten used to being fought into the background for most of the month.

The next full moon was still one and a half weeks away, a time during which Moony was normally caged somewhere deep in the back of Remus' mind. 

But not today.

Moony had control over his human's mind like he normally only had shortly before the monthly transformation. Something was not right, Moony could feel that.

Something was about to happen, something was not the way it was supposed to be. Moony could smell it. Anticipation was in the air. Something was different tonight.

The last time he had felt like this had been…

Remus sighed and made his way from the living room into the kitchen. Inwardly, he was scolding himself that he had allowed the wolf to surface so strongly. He had even been pacing on the rug in front of the fireplace, mimicking the urges of his canine self in his own actions.

He forced himself to think about something else, anything to take his mind away from the thoughts that would inevitably come if he allowed himself to continue the chain of thought he had begun before.

But what could have possibly upset him like that? Why was he so restless tonight, why did Moony try to enter his mind like he normally only did hours before the moon rose?

He had felt quite restless after Harry and he had returned from Hogwarts five days ago, his thoughts whirling around the question why his brother had felt the need to set up additional wards around his house. 

Remus knew that Harry was still a potential target for those who were supporting Voldemort, wherever he had gone to six years ago. But why wards that were triggered by the Dark Mark? There had been no Death Eater activities for the last years, so why did Janus feel the need to protect him and Harry against them now?

And what had worried Remus even more had been the revelation about Lucas' Dark Mark and the circumstances under which he had received it. Remus had tried to talk to his brother about it once more the day after they had come back, but Janus had refused to answer.

Once more, he had taken his position as an Unspeakable and his prohibition to talk about anything job-related with outsiders as his excuse, but it had not been easy for Remus to get rid of the leaden weight in his stomach that occurred whenever he thought about all this.

But nevertheless, he had not been upset enough during those past days that Moony could surface so strongly. Not once. 

The wolf had begun its pull this afternoon, after Janus had fetched Harry from school and had brought him into the store. They had gone home together, but after Remus had once more tried to pursue the topic of the additional wards around his house, Janus had quickly left and had gone home. Ever since then, Moony had started to pull, getting stronger and stronger by the minute.

And for the first time in long years, Remus had the feeling that he didn't know his inner wolf well enough to tell its reasons for this behaviour. He was at a loss of explanations for it.

He only knew that Moony's pacing brought up memories Remus would have loved to forget.

Remus filed the water kettle and boiled it with a well-practiced wave of his wand. While he prepared his tea with automatically carried out actions, he couldn't help but allow the wolf to finish his thoughts.

…seventy moons ago. More than seventy times the moon had come and waned again since Moony had last felt this restless and excited when full moon had still been so far away.

Seventy moons ago, Moony had not understood yet. He had not understood yet the full impact of what had happened to him. Of what had happened to them.

Seventy months ago, Moony's pack had died. The only pack Moony had ever known. Oh, not all of them were dead, but the stag was gone and so was the rat. They were dead, but the wolf's favourite had not died. It had taken Moony a long time to understand that the dog was worse than dead.

Long months of restless longing later had Moony finally understood: his pack was gone, he'd never see, hear, feel or smell any of them again.

During those months of realization Moony had been just as restless, he'd tried to pace away the anticipation so see his pack mates again. He had not believed then, had not wanted to believe, that he would never see any of them again.

But why did Moony behave like this, especially right now? Remus thought of himself that he understood the wolf after so many years, but he didn't understand Moony's current behaviour.

Why did he behave as if he was restlessly waiting for his pack mates? As if his pack mates were near? His pack mates were dead, and Moony knew that. He had learned it the hard way.

It had been hard and painful for Moony to learn, but his pack mates were gone. The were out of his reach and they would never return. Never again would they run under the full moon together.

Worst of all the dog. His favourite. Padfoot. His mate.

But something was not right tonight, Moony could feel it, could smell it so strong in the air that he was surprised his human self didn't seem to feel it as well.

All of his instincts were heightened, every alarm bell inside of him was ringing.

Maybe something was wrong with the last member of his pack. Had something happened to the pup?

Remus sighed and put down his cup of tea. He should have known that it would come to this, that the wolf would think along these lines.

And now Moony wouldn't let go until he had been shown that the pup was alright. 

With another deep sigh, Remus got up from his chair and walked over towards the staircase in the hall. Remus could smell that nobody had been here ever since he had brought Harry to bed, there was no trace of any intruder in the air. Remus already wanted to turn around again, but Moony wasn't pacified so easily. 

'The pup', he screamed, 'look after the pup. Go and see if the pup is alright.'

Remus sighed deeply and rolled his eyes, but he knew that he'd better follow Moony's instincts or it would not let go of him all evening. He climbed the stairs to the upper floor and opened the second door to the right. One look inside the room confirmed that everything was alright. The window was closed and the small form on the bed was breathing evenly, obviously fast asleep.

The pup was alright, Moony could smell it. It was lying in its bed, and taking in a deep breath Moony found that there was no other smell in the room than his own and that of the pup when it was content and peacefully asleep. Nothing had dared to attack the pup tonight, not even one of the nightmares it still suffered under from time to time.

Though the wolf wasn't pacified, he now at least knew that his restlessness was not caused by the pup being in danger. Nobody had come near his most precious pack-member.

For some long moments, Remus stood next to Harry's bed and watched his seven year old godson sleep.

He gently tucked some loose strands of hair out of Harry's eyes, revealing the lightning shaped scar on his forehead. The scar that still connected him to the night in which he had lost everything, just like Remus and Moony had lost everything that night.

And just like the huge scar on his right shoulder branded Remus as an outcast, especially without his pack, did the lightning shaped scar mark his godson and outsider. He might be considered a hero, the golden boy, saviour of the wizarding world, but an outsider he was nevertheless. An outsider who needed to be protected from the long shadow that his own fame threw upon him.

Remus pulled up the discarded blanket and tucked Harry in. A kiss on the forehead and a whispered 'Good night, pup' later he turned around and left the room again.

He went downstairs to at least try and get some of his work finished. Tomorrow he had a meeting with his former Professor at university, and he still needed to file out some catalogues and reference works.

Moony was getting more and more excited as they went downstairs again. He felt a presence he had not felt for many moons, a presence he had thought impossible ever to feel again. And it wasn't even full moon.

Remus stepped into his study and stopped dead in his tracks. The room wasn't illuminated except from the faint moon- and starlight that fell through the window, but Remus didn't need to see what was going on to know that something here was not right. On the contrary, something was awfully wrong.

Moony was howling in joy because of the presence he felt. A presence Remus now felt too, but he knew that it could not be true. Could it?

Remus turned towards the wall on his right, but before he cold even draw his wand he was interrupted.

Moony howled as he heard the voice of his old pack mate again. How long had it been since he had last heard this voice, since his human self had laughed about a joke it had made, since he had last heard his human self talk with it until dawn had risen? When had he last heard this voice speak encouraging and consoling words before and after he had once more taken over his human host's mind?

But something was wrong, somehow his pack mate's voice now didn't sound encouraging and friendly at all. It had a menacing quality Moony had never heard it hold before.

Moony flinched and howled in pain when he realized that his pack mate's intention this time wasn't to help, but to harm.

His pack mate's cold voice said just one word, one word that made Moony's world collapse once more in the blink of an eye.

His pack mate's voice said _'Crucio'_.

Without a chance to react or to defend himself, Remus fell to the floor and screamed in pain.


	10. Turn Of The Tide

Okay, again this took longer than expected. My apologies. But it's the key-chapter. Well, at least I think it is, because now the shit has hit the fan and things start to go downhill. You'll see. Sorry that I kept you hanging on that cliffie, but I don't think you'll complain, because this is by far the longest chapter up to now. Nearly 17.000 words, twice as much as the last one. So I hope the wait was worth it.

A/N for the week (I don't know if I covered all the reviews, ff.net is doing weird things. Again.):

**Mare: Keep on wondering. *g***

**Nicky: I'll answer in English here because the others wouldn't be able to read the German reply (Hi Morgan *waves*^_^). Yes, I'm German, didn't you know? It's my favourite excuse for all the weird language mistakes I make. *g* I'm glad you like the flashbacks. And I can tell you without spoiling too much that the fact that Remus never told anybody about his friends becoming Animagi will turn up in the story again.**

Why he never told (in canon) I can't tell exactly. Probably he thought that with James, and Peter dead and Sirius in Azkaban, it would never again be important. He'd never have to deal with any of them again. But Remus doesn't place shame above Harry's protection, it's just that he had never thought it possible that he'd ever encounter any of his pack mates again.

You're right, Moony doesn't understand the concept of treason, or at least he takes a lot longer to understand it than Remus himself does. That's why Moony has been excited about smelling his pack mate.

Concerning Sirius' role: there isn't just 'mad' or 'evil', just like there isn't just black or white. There are a lot of shades in between, but which one applies to Sirius, I can't yet tell.

Okay, I know by now that Janu

**Kyra: Thank you. I always imagine that Remus' psyche cannot really be separated from the wolf, though it only surfaces once a month. You'll find out what happened to Remus (and Harry) in this chapter, though. But beware – it's getting darker. Fast.**

**Jenn: Thank you. I've been struggling a lot with the legal stuff in this story, and I am still deeply convinced that what I provided as an explanation has huge loopholes. But I hope it works out for the readers and doesn't seem too weird and convenient.**

**Starlette: Yes, Harry will get out of there. Mwhahahaha! It was not mentioned whether Sirius is after Remus alone or not. You'll see. And six years in Azkaban definitely confuse a prisoner, though I can't tell you how important that will be for the story. Just wait and see.**

**sarahpeach**: I thought we had long cleared that I simply love writing cliffhangers? And come on – you already knew that part from the preview, so you knew it had to happen. But thanks that you like the chapter nevertheless. I'm glad you liked Remus' "interaction" with Moony, I always imagined his mind to be somewhat split in two.

You already said it, I can't tell you about Sirius' further role in the story. But to release you from pondering for hours, I'll also not give you a clue (I've noticed that some readers use them to deduct the further course of the story. And now that's something I don't want. *g*).

**vmr**: Thank you!

**anaticulapraecantrix: Can't tell. Well, I could, but I won't.**

**Jakia: Thank you nevertheless. I'll try to be a better person, though I can't promise anything *g*.**

**Leandra: Thank you ever so much! I'm glad the flashback-present style seems to work out the way I wanted it to. But it won't be too long, I promise. See – it's already here!**

**Nagini: Now that you asked so politely for the next chapter – here it is. Don't like me? *sniff* that hurts. But no, I'm no sadist. Everything that happens here happens for plot reasons. Well, nearly everything. And if Harry is safe…well…read and see.**

**Amy **Potter** ****13: Yes I can. I did. And it was fun to stop exactly there. *g* But I can't answer your questions now, you'll surely understand.**

**Silver **Scale** ****Serpent: I'll tell him as soon as I see him the next time. Could be a while, though. *g***

**Sailor **Sol**: I can't tell you it's Peter just to make you feel better (or to not to make you angry) *hands Sailor Sol a handkerchief* But you'll not get to know who it was in this chapter, I'm afraid. It'll have to wait a little while longer.**

**Sk8reagle: Confusion is just what evil little FairyTale likes.**

**Aeryn **Alexander**: Thank you.**

**Moonlight: Here you go, that's all I can say.**

**tinytoonyloonyme**: I'm the one who has to say thanks. I'll try not to take too much time between the updates.

**MerlinHalliwell: Thank you.**

**elmtree**: No, bigger climax. But not the climax of the story yet, that one will take at least two cliffies. Erm – explanations? As in 'explaining why things were done and who did them and why'? Hmmm…you'll see Janus guessing those things, does that count as an explanation?

Glad you liked the morning revenge. But yes, it's getting darker. I personally think that's not that much of a bad thing, glad you think the same. Thank you!

**Bookworm2000: Why was it redundant? You really want to see Janus in pain, don't you? I can't understand why, he's such a lovable character. *hugs Janus tightly***

**Naomi **SilverWolf**: Thank you!**

**A.Dee: Okay, I'll let you see:**

1. Correct

2. Correct

3. *grins* I know.

BUT

1. hmmmmm…

2. but I do

Not the answers you wanted, are they? But glad you liked that chapter. Was the ending really that bad? Sorry.

**Kathleen: *g***

**thewalrus**: What's mentioned in the summary hasn't happened yet, actually it happened at the end of the last chapter and continues in this one. So you didn't miss anything. Thanks a lot. I know it took me slightly longer to update this story, but now it should come more regularly.

**padfoot1979: Now that is the big question. You all seem to reduce the choice to those two. I hope that in the end it'll all explain itself.**

**Darcel: Thank you. But I can't tell you yet, you'll have to wait and see. I'm glad you like the story, I actually wrote it because I've never seen that scenario, either. Thought it would be interesting.**

**PJinNH: Thank you ever so much. But what does 'thank you for penning it' mean? I don't know what 'penning' its.**

**Moonlight **Snitch**: Thank you. And here you go with the chapter, I promise upcoming Baby Harry. Much Baby Harry. Hope you'll like it. I'm so glad you like the flashback-style of the story, it'll continue though after this chapter the custody case is over. But there'll be more flashbacks, I promise. **

**Aurelia: To be honest, I had not really thought about you (consciously) when I named Aurelia Sanders. But it suits, and after all she is seemingly the only nice person in the Department of Family Regulations. But you're way behind girl, catch up! *g***

**Morgan **D.**: Here you go. *leans back in chair with a sigh* Now I'm waiting.**

That's it, now only the usual is left to say:

Enjoy!

**Turn Of The Tide**

_Remus still could not believe everything that had happened after the last hearing in his custody case._

_He and his family had returned home, that much he remembered, but the rest of that day seemed to have passed in a blur. All he could remember was one thought, three words that had not vanished from his mind ever since Fudge had closed the meeting. 'I've done it.'_

_And done it he had. _

_Professor Dumbledore had warned him that Fudge and the Ministry officials would take some time to thoroughly check the legality of Dumbledore's proposition, but his old headmaster had also promised him that they would not be able to find anything that could prevent them from granting Remus custody._

_Six weeks had passed with no news from the Ministry. Six weeks during which Remus had been as jumpy and short-tempered as he had never been before in his entire life. He had been constantly walking the edge between extreme anticipation and a mood that closely resembled desperation. More than once he had lost his temper, and Janus or Richard had suffered under his outbursts. Looking back now, Remus wondered that they had never complained about it, not even Janus when Remus had once more made a scene in front of him and had attempted to shout him down.   
Both men must have understood what those past weeks had felt like for Remus, nevertheless he made a mental note to apologize as soon as possible. Just in case. Janus could bear grudges for even longer than Snape did, Remus knew that._

_Six weeks after the final hearing, a large barn owl had been flying towards his kitchen window while he had been sitting at the breakfast table together with his father. It had been a Ministry owl, Remus had realized this immediately after the bird had dropped the official looking envelope._

_Much to his surprise, the owl had also delivered a package, but Remus had not noticed this at first._

_He had held the envelope in his shaking hands, his gaze transfixed on it. This was it. The final answer, he would not get another chance for a custody claim, that much he knew. Either Dumbledore's arguments had eventually convinced the Minister, or…or it had all been in vain._

_Remus didn't know for how long he had been staring at the envelope in his hands, but when he had eventually looked up he had found his father smiling encouragingly at him. Remus had just shaken his head._

_"I can't do that. I can't open it up."_

_And with this, he had handed the envelope over to his father. Richard had lost no time in ripping the seal open and scanning the piece of parchment he had pulled out._

_"Mr. Lupin,_

_concerning__ your petition for custody over Harry J. Potter we are to inform you that the Ministry of Magic, Department of Family Regulations has come to a decision._

_In accordance to the custody law from __March 21st 1407__, the child's momentary legal guardians, Mr. and Mrs. Vernon and Petunia Dursley, have been interrogated. Both have stated that they are willing to refuse their right as legal guardians as the child's closest blood relatives, if the Ministry can provide the child with another guardian._

_Due to the application of the custody law from __March 21st 1407__ and § 188 of the "Ministry Regulations Concerning the Dealings With Lycanthropes" from the year 1786, with Albus Dumbledore acting as your guarantor, we hereby inform you that you have been granted custody over the child Harry James Potter._

_Due to your lycanthropy, the custody will be granted under certain restrictions. A complete list of the restrictions as well as the paperwork concerning the application of § 188 is enclosed in the delivery. Please note that any violation of the restrictions will lead to an immediate re-evaluation of the custody case._

_A caseworker from the Department of Family Regulations will arrive at your house on October 21st to go through the needed preparations of the living arrangements with you._

_The child has to be fetched at the home of his momentary guardians in the presence of a caseworker from the Department of Family Regulations, the respective date will be set on October 21st as well._

_Sincerely,_

_Cornelius S. Fudge, Minister of Magic"_

_After Richard had finished reading out the letter, Remus had stared at him as if he had just read a passage in Greek. Of course he had heard the words his father had read out, and he had understood their meaning, but Remus had not dared to hope that this meant what he had thought it did._

_Only when Richard had smiled at him, a long and genuine smile that had spread up into his green-brown eyes, Remus had dared to smile back. Remus had realized that he had not seen his father smile truly like that in ages._

_"Remus, you've done it. You really have done it! In no time, you'll have Harry here with you."_

_Remus had only shaken his head, disbelief clearly visible on his features. Even when his father had gotten up from his chair and had given him a long hug, Remus had not seized shaking his head._

_That day a week ago, it had taken him a couple of hours to fully understand that he had been finally granted what he had been fighting for so hard._

_Realization had dawned later in the afternoon, when Richard had left him alone to go into town and do some shopping. Remus had gone upstairs into the room he had planned as Harry's room when the full impact of the morning's letter had hit him. _

_He had been standing in the still empty room, and suddenly he had realized that in a couple of days Harry would be living here. Harry would be living here in this room, would be living with him._

_At that moment of realization, all the tension and despair of the last couple of months had flooded out of him._

_He had still been sitting on the floor of Harry's room, crying his eyes out, when Richard had come back from town. At first his father had not understood, he had thought that something was wrong, and admittedly Remus had felt a little stupid. After all, what was the use in crying his eyes out if he actually felt rather like smiling, but he just couldn't help it._

_The rest of the week since the letter had arrived had passed in a blur._

_On Thursday, October 21st chief-caseworker Gwendolyn Smith had arrived at his house. It hadn't taken long for Remus to understand that she still had not forgiven him either his reluctance to give in and accept his non-existent chances for custody, or the problems that his repeated petitions had caused her. Remus was still undecided which it was. _

_But Smith had been in an exceptionally bad mood when she had been inspecting the house and checking the arrangements for Harry's arrival._

_Remus had been quite thorough in his preparations, Harry's room was completely prepared and furnished by the time Smith paid her visit, but the chief caseworker had found things to complain about. Many things to complain about, in fact. The staircase had not been secured to protect a two and a half year old from falling down, the floo powder was not out of reach for the child, the fireplace was not secured and the entire kitchen had been declared as 'danger zone' by Smith. Not that Remus really cared. Her rants had been annoying, but it hadn't been in her power to deny him custody anymore. After all, her visit had had the reason to give him pieces of advice and help him to make the house secure for Harry's arrival, Remus couldn't care less about the mood she was in while doing so._

_So Remus had kept his mouth shut and his temper at bay, had listened to Smith ranting and had heeded her words of advice. The stairs were now warded so that Harry couldn't fall down, the floo powder was secure out of reach, the fireplace was blocked and the kitchen was now child-proof._

_Harry's room was finished, the wardrobe was filled with clothes Remus hoped would fit the child, there were books and toys to keep him occupied, but not enough to spoil him right from the start. Remus could wait for a couple of days before he began the real spoiling._

_And right now he was standing in Little Whinging, Surrey, at the edge of the anti-apparition field around Nr. 4 Privet Drive, and waited for Gwendolyn Smith to arrive._

_It was __Saturday, October 23rd 1982__, ten minutes past nine in the morning._

_Today Remus would fetch Harry. Would bring him home. Once and for all._

_And Smith was already ten minutes late._

_Though Remus knew that she would eventually turn up, he was quickly running out of patience. Too long had he been fighting for this moment, too long had he been dreaming of how it would be like, how it would feel like to finally take Harry out of this poor excuse of a home and to a place where James' and Lily's son belonged. To a place in the wizarding world, to a home where he was loved._

_Remus was scared out of his wits that raising a child was too big of a task for him._

_He was terrified._

_So terrified that he'd have preferred to turn around and apparate away before it was too late, but he had fought too hard to give up now. And with a sudden pop_ _Smith apparated into the shelter of a bus stop next to where Remus was waiting, her appearance making all thoughts of flight vanish within an instant. _

_And the glare she gave him was reason enough for Remus not to mention the fact that she was late, he guessed it wouldn't be too good for his health to criticize Smith right now. If Remus had ever seen someone emotionally unstable, Smith was on top of the list at the moment._

_The caseworker didn't say anything, she merely grunted something that could be regarded as a greeting, then she started to walk towards __Privet Drive__ without another word._

_Remus shook his head, then started to follow her. After all, he was not here to start a friendship with the caseworker, and with a little luck today would be their last encounter for quite some time. Though he'd be assigned a caseworker for the monthly and the irregular checkups, Remus doubted that it would be Smith. He only hoped it wouldn't be Nichols, either. With neither of them he even wanted to imagine having further dealings._

_The two spent the short walk to __Privet Drive__ in complete silence, then Smith climbed the front steps and knocked on the door. It took some moments until it was opened, in fact Remus already asked himself whether the Ministry had told he family that Harry would be fetched today._

_After what seemed like hours, the door opened and a rather large man with a huge moustache stood in the doorframe. He eyes Smith and Remus with a distrust bordering on annoyance, and upon seeing their robes he frowned his forehead and his expression turned into one of barely hidden disgust._

_"What do you want?"_

_His voice was harsh and extremely unwelcoming. Smith aimed one of her trademark glares at the man, who obviously was Vernon Dursley, and Remus was torn in two by the question which of the two he should pity._

_"Ministry of Magic, Department of Family Regulations.__ My name is Gwendolyn Smith. We're here to fetch the child Harry Potter."_

_Vernon__ nodded grumpily._

_"Ah, you're here for the boy. About time, I already thought you'd forget about him. Well, what are you waiting for? The sooner he and you are out of my house, the better for all of us."_

_Dursley opened the door a little wider and impatiently gestured Smith and Remus to come in. While Smith remained in the hall, __Vernon__ showed Remus into the living room, where the werewolf had last seen his friends' child nearly a year ago._

_Remus' heart was beating faster and his hands began to sweat in anticipation. What would Harry be like? How much had he grown? Could he already talk fluently? What kind of a child was he? Had he become more shy and withdrawn, or had he become the smart and lively little child Lily and James had expected him to be? _

_Maybe Harry had really gotten used to his family by now, maybe the child truly had only been disturbed by his parents' death when he had last seen him. What if Harry didn't want to leave anymore?_

_What if he didn't even recognize him?_

_All those thoughts, questions and doubts shot through Remus' mind while he was walking into the living room, waiting to see his godson again, hoping that he was doing the right thing._

_Just like the last time, the first thing Remus saw when entering the room was the enormous figure of Harry's cousin, Dudley. Even more than last time it was unbelievable that mere weeks of age separated the two children, for a two and a half year old child the blonde kid was enormous. Huge. There really were no proper words for Remus to describe the size of this child._

_But his attention was quickly distracted from __Dudley__ anyway, when his eyes found the figure of another child that was sitting in the corner._

_Remus had nearly overseen it, because the little kid made no movement of any kind, even when Remus approached him. Harry had grown since Remus' last visit, but he was still small and scrawny, too thin for his age. But that could also be deceiving looks, because the clothes Harry wore were too big for him. They could have suited Dudley, were it not for the fact that they were either torn on the joints or stained with something that suspiciously looked like chocolate and food of other origins that had not cleaned out in the laundry._

_Harry didn't look up when Remus approached him, the only sign that the toddler realized the werewolf's presence in the room was the death–grip with which he suddenly clung to the stuffed lion in his hands._

_Remus smiled. Harry still had Rory the lion, so Petunia had not dared to take away this toy from him. And maybe, maybe Harry even still remembered who had given him that plush animal. Maybe. He'd have to try to find out._

_Crouching down in front of his godson, Remus took some shaky breaths and tried to keep his emotions in check. It would do no good to start crying now, not in front of Harry, not when he was about to take him with him._

_"Harry?"_

_It didn't come out as firm as he had hoped it would, but it drew Harry's attention. And after all, that was what counted._

_Green eyes looked into amber ones and Remus swallowed hard._

_'Just like Lily's. He looks like a carbon copy of James, but his eyes are exactly like his mother's.'_

_Remus hands started to shake and he quickly forced himself to think about anything but Harry's parents and their deaths now. Not that it was easy, not with the last living reminder of them sitting in front of him, staring at him from those incredible green eyes. _

_The watery shine in his eyes betraying his emotions, Remus swallowed against the lump in his throat and forced himself to smile._

_"Hiya Harry. Do you remember me?"_

_Harry didn't answer, he just kept on staring at him. Remus sighed. If this was already so difficult, how could it possibly go on from here?_

_Remus' eyes fell onto the stuffed lion Harry still held in a death grip in his hands. He held it so tightly that the knuckles on his small fists had turned white._

_Remus stretched out his hand and tried to put it onto the lion, but Harry was too fast. With reflexes that would have honoured every seeker, he pulled the lion out of Remus' reach and scooted away from him._

_'He doesn't recognize you. Of course he doesn't. What did you expect? A hug? Tears of joy? The child has not seen you for nearly a year, surely he has already forgotten you.'_

_But he had to try. After all, he'd take Harry with him today, and Remus definitely wanted to get off a good start with his godson._

_Not taking his eyes from Harry, Remus got out of his crouch and instead knelt down next to Harry, who by now had buried his face in the mane of his beloved stuffed lion. The sight nearly broke Remus' heart. Harry had always been such a happy child, he had been so open with his family and their friends, the mere thought that Harry was now shying away from him made Remus want to punch the Dursleys into bloody pulps with his bare fists._

_Moony was stirring, Remus felt it._

_'Don't get angry now, Remus. Keep yourself in check, you don't want to scare the child even more.'_

_It was easier thought than done, but after some shaky breaths Remus felt he had enough grip on himself again to give it another try._

_"Harry? Harry, it's alright, you don't need to be afraid. I won't hurt you."_

_The small face remained hidden behind the wide fur of the lion, but the grip Harry had on it lessened somewhat._

_Stretching out his hand, Remus gently caressed the animal's fuzzy mane. It was obvious that during the past months, the lion had suffered under many similar 'attacks'._

_"That's a nice tiger you have there."_

_Remus had to hide a grin when suddenly the lion was lowered and Harry's face appeared, a look of disapproval in his emerald eyes._

_"It's a lion."_

_The first words Harry had spoken so far, and Remus was glad that at least this barrier seemed to have been overcome. _

_But quickly, as if he had just realized that he had done something wrong, Harry's eyes widened and he tried to crawl farther away from Remus. The werewolf frowned. Why did Harry seem scared all of a sudden? The only thing he had done had been correcting Remus' obvious mistake, exactly what he had wanted the child to do._

_Did Harry think he was not allowed to talk back to him? That could not be, could it?_

_But then Remus remembered where Harry had lived for the past eleven months and it hit him. Of course Harry thought he was not allowed to talk back to an adult, trust those muggles to plant such a ridiculous idea in the child's head._

_Remus shook his head, hardly noticeable. One way or another, he'd have to deal with it now._

_Putting all efforts into what he hoped was an encouraging smile, Remus hit his forehead with his palm in a fake gesture of realization._

_"You're right, how could I have confused that? It's got no black stripes, and it's got a huge mane, of course it's a lion. Thanks for telling me, Harry."_

_Harry just stared at him, obviously still not entirely sure what to make of him.__ Well, Remus had to keep on trying._

_"Does the lion have a name?"_

_Not taking his eyes off Remus, Harry nodded. Remus smiled. Harry obviously wasn't very talkative. Well, he'd change that soon enough._

_"Do you want to tell me its name?"_

_His eyes quickly darting through the room, as if to make sure that neither his aunt nor uncle were there, Harry gave his lion a quick, but very fond smile._

_"Rory."___

_Remus felt the corners of his lips twitch upwards._

_"That's a beautiful name."_

_There was silence for some moments, before Harry, his eyes still fixed on the lion, spoke again._

_"Moony gave me."  
Remus' heart skipped a beat. Harry remembered! He was sure that he was grinning like an idiot, but at the moment Remus couldn't have cared less. Harry remembered that he, that Remus, had given him the lion._

_"I know. Moony gave you that lion and Moony promised that he'd come back and take you home with him. Do you remember, pup?"_

_Whether it was hearing the long-unused endearment or the memories he had evoked with this last sentence, Remus did not know, but Harry looked up at him and smiled shyly, his eyes lightening up a little in what Remus hoped was recognition._

_"Moony?"_

_Barely audible, as if Harry was afraid that calling him by that name would anger Remus, Harry's voice trembled. Remus smiled down at the child, still struggling desperately to keep his own emotions in check, which was by no means an easy task at the moment. His heart ached when he tried to imagine what Harry had to feel right now, what he had felt like during the past eleven months. Remus wasn't sure what Harry had been told where his parents were and what had happened to them, but the child surely had realized that they were gone. Not only them, but also all the friends Harry had known from his very first year of childhood. Remus knew that his one single visit could not have helped Harry to cope with all that loss, promise to return or not._

_Time was a concept that didn't hold much implication for children of Harry's age, and though Remus had promised to return it had taken him nearly a year to eventually do so. Surely Harry had thought he'd never come back at all._

_Realizing that he had yet to answer to Harry's question, the way Harry had said it, it definitely had been a question, Remus kept his eyes fixed on the large emerald ones that were still watching him with the same nervous yet curious expression._

_"Yes Harry, it's me. Moony. I'm sorry it took me so long to come back, but I just couldn't come earlier. There were some things that I needed to get out of the way first, and I didn't want to come again and give you false hopes in case it failed. I wanted to, I really did, but there simply wasn't a way for me to come earlier. I should have, but I just couldn't."_

_He was babbling, Remus realized. There was no way Harry could understand what he was talking about, but he just couldn't stop himself. It seemed as if all the tension he had thought vented off weeks ago still was there and needed to get out. This was it, this was the big thing. Today he'd take Harry home, now he only needed to explain it to the child._

_"I missed you, pup."_

_Another shy smile was all Remus received as an answer, then the child quickly turned back to the task of petting Rory's mane and fur._

_"I promised I'd take you home with me pup. Do you want to come?"_

_Harry's head snapped up._

_"Home?"___

_His little brow frowned and Remus had to keep himself from sighing. He had confused Harry again._

_"Yes Harry. Home, with me."_

_"But here's home."_

_Yes, Harry was confused. Again, his eyes darted across the room as if he expected __Vernon__ or Petunia to come running into the room any minute, scolding him for even talking to Remus. Not that he could blame Harry, from all he guessed that was exactly the kind of treatment Harry was used to._

_Slowly, Remus nodded._

_"Yes, this has been home for you for the last year. But if you want, you can come and live with me."_

_"With you?"___

_Again, Remus nodded while he gave Harry some time to process this information, as far as his two and a half year old mind would allow._

_"Uncle Vernon 'n Aunt Petuna?"_

_Remus smiled as he heard that Harry still had not managed to pronounce his aunt's name properly. Then he shook his head._

_"They'll stay here with __Dudley__ and you'll come with me. You'll live with Moony. Would that be okay?"_

_Remus didn't know what kind of answer he expected from the small child, after all Harry had not really known any other home than the one he had lived in since his parents had died. And surely he could not really imagine an abstract concept like 'living with Moony' and ponder if it would be better than living here._

_And, as he had expected, Harry just stared ahead, frowning his little brow again, all the while nervously fidgeting with Rory's mane._

_That was the moment Petunia Dursley chose to come running into the living room._

_"Duddykins, my poor little Dudders, did the freaks hurt you?"_

_Hearing her frantic and worried calls, Remus turned around and got to his feet, just in time to see the tall blond woman fussing over the large toddler and lifting him out of the playpen into her arms._

_Remus rose an eyebrow at the fact that she had actually managed to lift the enormous child up._

_Due to her fretting, she had not yet realized Remus' presence in the room. _

_Lifting one of __Dudley__'s two chins up with her left hand, she smiled and cooed at him. Remus thought he'd get physically sick if he had to keep on watching this for a longer time._

_"Don't worry Duddykins, Mummy won't let the freaks get near you. They're just here to take the freak boy, and they'd better hurry. Then he won't annoy you anymore, there won't be no more of his abnormalities in our house. Did take them long enough, but no wonder. After all, who would want such an abnormal freak living in their house?_

_Do you hear me boy? Better get your ungrateful little butt out of my sight right now, before that, that _woman_ out there changes her mind and leaves you. I'll be damned if I have to bear with you for another year. Hear me?"_

_With her last words, Petunia put Dudley down into his playpen and turned around to where she was suspecting Harry to be sitting, her expression furious and filled with disgust. But instead of facing a terrified small child, she found herself face to face with a pissed off, fully qualified wizard. _

_A strange feeling of déjà-vu overcame Petunia Dursley._

_During Petunia's rant, it had cost Remus every last piece of self-control he had not to hex the woman right on the spot. If that was the way she had been treating Harry, then it was no small wonder that the boy was behaving like he did. Remus' jaw hardened, he was pressing his teeth so hard together that he could feel the first tingles of a headache starting to spread behind his forehead. His hands were balled to fists and his breathing was becoming harder and faster. _

_Petunia on the other hand seemed to have overcome her surprise at finding Remus with Harry quite quickly. _

_"Why are you still here?"_

_She demanded harshly. Remus tried to keep the threatening edge out of his voice, but only when he remembered that Harry was within earshot he managed to do so._

_"You seem unable to wait for his departure. But don't worry, we'll be off soon."_

_"You'd better be. I wouldn't want you freaks anywhere near my baby if it isn't absolutely necessary. _He's_ been here for long enough as it is."_

_With her last words, she made two steps into Harry's direction, and Remus was very surprised when suddenly he felt a small hand grab the sides of his trousers. Looking down, he found that Harry had gotten up from his spot next to the wall and now stood next to him, his large green eyes staring terrified up at his aunt while his left hand clung to Remus' leg as if it was his lifeline. _

_Remus put down his hand on Harry's head and stroke through the unruly hair in an attempt to reassure the boy. He shot Petunia his most dangerous glare, throwing all the wolf's anger he could muster into it. It had the desired effect – Petunia backed away a little, eying the pair of them suspiciously._

_"Don't worry", Remus repeated, "we'll just get Harry's things and then we'll leave and you'll never have to see him again if you don't want to."_

_Petunia just raised her eyebrow._

_"I should hope so, for I definitely don't want to ever see him or any of your…your kind here again. Ever!"_

_Remus felt rather than saw Harry flinch as Petunia's voice rose and became shriller and shriller with every word. He removed his hand out of Harry's hair and put it on the small child's shoulder, his surprise only growing when he felt Harry's little hand move away from his leg upwards to grab his own hand. Squeezing it gently, Remus looked down at Harry again._

_"Ready to leave, pup?"___

_Burying his face in Rory's mane again, Harry nodded. Remus steered the child out of the living room, making an effort of staying as far away from Petunia as possible, and into the hall where Gwendolyn Smith was waiting for Harry and him. Harry's uncle, Remus noted, was standing next to the door, impatiently waiting for them to leave. _

_Smith looked at Remus, the question why it had taken him so long to fetch Harry lying unspoken in her gaze, then she shifted her eyes towards Harry and smiled. Remus realized that, even though her attitude towards him had been prejudiced right from the start and had not changed the slightest during the past months, her smile for Harry was warm and genuine. If that was the way she met all the children of the cases that went over her desk, then at least there was one single reason why she was in that job._

_"We'd better be off, Mr. Lupin. Is there something else Harry needs to take with him?"_

_Remus thought for a moment, then nodded._

_"Yes, there is the book I gave him last year. Other than that, I don't think there's anything."_

_Smith rummaged in her bag and pulled out the slightly battered copy of 'Donnie the Little Green Dragon'._

_"This book?__ Mr. Dursley was so kind__ to hand it over to me while we were waiting."_

_Remus nodded and had to hide a smile. Judged from the steely tone of Smith's voice and from the venomous look she shot at Vernon, the time while he had been in the living room with Harry had not been spent with nice conversation between those two. No wonder, thinking of the Dursleys' attitude towards anything magical._

_Remus quickly crouched down next to Harry again, still not letting go off his hand._

_"Is there anything you want to take with you, Harry? Another book, a toy, a shirt, anything?"_

_Harry seemed to think for a moment, looked around the room and then shook his head._

_"Nothing?"___

_Again, Harry shook his head._

_"Alright then._ Ready to go?"__

_Harry shrugged his shoulders and again buried his face in Rory's fur. Remus sighed and gently ruffled across his unruly black hair. He looked at Smith and nodded._

_"Let's go then."_

_Smith took a watch out of the pocket of her robe and checked the time._

_"The wards have been lowered five minutes ago. We can apparate anytime now."_

_They had agreed that taking a portkey might be too confusing for Harry, seeing that he had not been exposed to that kind of travel ever before. Though apparating might also confuse him to some extend, it was the fastest and least disorienting possibility they had been able to come up with, especially since both had agreed that arriving at Remus' house as quickly as possible might be the best solution._

_Remus bent down and picked Harry up, noticing slightly startled that the child immediately stiffened in his arms._

_"Harry, do you want to say goodbye to your aunt and uncle?"_

_Not taking his face out of Rory's fur, Harry mumbled a weak "bye". Remus realized that this was all they'd get out of him for the moment, and one look at Harry's relatives told him that they did not intend to say any words of parting at all. Remus shook his head and tightened his hold on Harry a little. _

_"Okay pup, we're going now. Don't be scared, we'll apparate."_

_Harry looked up, visibly confused. Remus smiled fondly._

_"Don't worry, it's alright. It's magic."_

_Harry ducked as if someone had slapped him. Now it was Remus' turn to be confused. Surely the Dursleys had not told him…blast it, of course they had._

_"Pup, magic exists. And it's nothing bad, you'll see. It can be a lot of fun and I promise I'll show you how. Now let's leave, alright?"_

_Again, Harry only shrugged his shoulders, and with a sigh Remus nodded at Smith. Making sure that she had put Harry's book back into her bag and once more securing his hold on the small body of his godson, Remus apparated away from Nr. 4, __Privet Drive__.___

_A moment later, the two adults and Harry reappeared in front of Remus' house near Highley. _

_Remus gently nudged Harry's face out of Rory's fur where he had once more buried it._

_"Look pup, we're there."_

_The child looked up and immediately his eyes grew wide. He gave Remus a very puzzled look which made the older man smile widely._

_"I told you, it's magic. Now Harry, this is your new home. Do you like it?"_

_Harry stared at the house in front of him with wide eyes and open-mouthed.__ Remus had to admit, it couldn't look more different from Nr. __4 Privet Drive__ at all. There were no immediate neighbours, the small town was a five to ten minute walk away. Also, nothing around the house resembled the tidy suburban order Harry had grown up in. _

_The two-storey house was painted in a light yellow, the shutters and window frames were dark red. Smoke was coming out of the chimney and rose up into the clear autumn sky. _

_From the front yard, the large garden behind the house could not be seen, but there were rather untidy herbal gardens on each side of the house, and some small trees and larger bushes in front. _

_From the outside, it didn't look like a wizarding house at all if one had no eye for the small details of it, for example the open windows in the attic through which Remus' owls could come and go as they pleased, or the occasional gnome that ripped out Remus' parsley._

_"Now, let's get inside, shall we?"_

_Harry really wasn't a very talkative child, Remus once more realized. But he hoped that would be pastime behaviour very soon. He'd try everything he could to make that happen, that much he knew._

_He opened the front door for Smith to enter, then followed her into the small hall._

_Smith reached into her bag and pulled out Harry's copy of Donny the Dragon, then put it on the small table next to the door._

_"I'll take my leave now, Mr. Lupin. Your caseworker will drop by on Sunday to see how the child has settled in. If anything happens, just contact out Department, we'll send somebody over then. Good bye Mr. Lupin, bye Harry."_

_"Thank you Mrs. Smith. And Good bye."_

_Harry gave the caseworker a small smile which she returned, then she left the house and closed the door behind her. Apparating right in front of Harry's eyes might be too much for the child to process right now, and it would take Professor Dumbledore until afternoon till he had put up the anti-apparition wards around the house. Or so he had said yesterday._

_Remus sighed. All of a sudden, the house seemed so huge and silent. _

_He was alone with Harry, Remus all of a sudden realized. Richard was staying with Janus at the moment and would not show up until tomorrow, they had thought it better for Harry if he wasn't around too many stranger immediately. Though it had been a hard job to convince his father of it, Remus remembered with a smile. Richard's grandparenting urges had already kicked in, but Harry now definitely didn't need a complete stranger to fuss and coo over him._

_With a shake of his head, Remus pulled himself back into the here and now and smiled down at Harry._

_"Are you hungry?"_

_A small nod of the head._ Remus smiled.__

_"Well, then let's make something to eat."_

_He put Harry back down on the floor and again took his small hand into his own, gently steering him towards the kitchen. He helped the child to climb into one of the kitchen chairs, then went to fetch some cushions for Harry to sit on. It would not be of any use if he could barely look above the table._

_Once Harry was settled to his content, Remus opened the fridge and scanned its contents. It dawned him that he didn't know anything about Harry's eating preferences at all. Well, he'd have to find out._

_"Harry, what do you want to eat?"_

_Harry once more shrugged his shoulders. Now, that wasn't very helpful at all._

_"Hmm, we have cereal, or I could make you a sandwich, or some pancakes?"_

_Again, Harry only shrugged._

_"Cereal?"___

_Harry quickly nodded. Too quickly, for Remus' liking._

_"_Sandwich___?"__  
Again, Harry nodded. Remus sighed. This wasn't easy, not at all._

_He pulled out a bottle of milk from the fridge and took two cups and the chocolate powder from the shelf, then settled himself on the table, opposite to Harry. The child was once more completely focussed on his stuffed lion._

_Remus' heart wrenched once more at that sight. Harry shouldn't be so shy, shouldn't be so withdrawn. If things had gone differently, Harry would have had a brilliant childhood with parents who literally drowned him in their love, not some muggle-relatives who had despised him for something he couldn't help._

_Remus poured the milk into the cups, added some chocolate powder and warmed the cocoa with a wave of his wand. This action made Harry look up immediately. _

_Remus pushed one of the cups over towards Harry, but the child didn't seem to realize._

_"How?"___

_Remus smiled and indicated his wand._

_"Magic, Harry. I'm a wizard, and so are you."_

_Harry just shook his head._

_"There is no magic."_

_Remus sighed._

_"You uncle told you that, didn't he?"_

_Harry nodded shyly._

_"Harry, there is magic. Your uncle just didn't believe in it. Look."_

_Remus pulled today's copy of the Daily Prophet over from the counter and showed Harry the pictures on the front page. There was a report about Ludo Bangman, and a picture of his younger self in Quidditch robes was zooming in and out of the picture. Harry watched him in awe._

_"They move."_

_Remus nodded._

_"Yes, they're magical pictures."_

_Remus took his wand, and after a quick search in his mind for the right spell, he transfigured the paper into a picture frame. The paper vanished, and Ludo Bangman now zoomed in and out of the frame, waving at Harry every time he came into sight. Harry couldn't stop watching it, completely transfixed because he didn't understand what had just happened. _

_Remus gently ruffled his hair again and got up from his chair. _

_"Now about those sandwiches."___

_They ate their breakfast, and Harry was still all the while staring at the image of Ludo Bangman. At some point, he even shyly waved back at the man and stifled a laugh when Bangman flew loops as a response._

_The initial ice had been broken a little, and Remus decided to thank Ludo Bangman for it, should he ever encounter the man._

_After the belated breakfast, Remus once more took Harry's hand and steered him out of the kitchen again. The child gave him a quite confused look, which Remus returned with a smile._

_"I'm going to show you your room now, okay?"_

_With a wave of his wand, he took down the 'childproof' wards on the stairs, then guided Harry upstairs. At the second door on the right, he stopped and opened it up._

_It was hardly imaginable that the room had been nearly empty only a couple of weeks ago. A cupboard and a shelf lined one wall, the other was taken by two large windows and a small table in front of them. There was a small trunk which contained some toys and games for Harry, and also parchment and crayons. On the other side of the square room stood a child-sized bed with forest green covers that stood out against the yellow walls. _

_Nervously, Remus looked down at Harry. What if he didn't like his room? What if he didn't want to stay here, if he didn't want to live with him at all?_

_Harry stood in the doorframe as if he was rooted to the spot. _

_Concernedly, Remus crouched down next to Harry._

_"What's wrong, pup? Don't you like it? We can change it if you don't like it."_

_Harry didn't answer, so Remus tried to gently pull him further into the room. Harry resisted._

_"What is it, Harry? You can come in, it's your room."_

_Green eyes stared up at him in disbelief._

_"My room?"___

_Remus nodded._

_"Yes, your room. Come in."_

_Hesitantly, as if he was afraid that he'd get scolded for entering even despite Remus' statement that it was his room, Harry made a couple of steps into the room. He glanced up at Remus and, seemingly encouraged by his smile, tentatively made his way over to the window and sat down on the small chair next to the small table._

_"My room?"___

_He asked it again as if he still couldn't believe it. Remus frowned. Surely Harry had had a room at the Dursleys', he could not imagine that Petunia had wanted him to share the bedroom with __Dudley__._

_"Yes, it's your room, pup. All yours. There are some toys in the trunk, and also crayons if you want to paint something. What do you want to do?"_

_Harry looked up at Remus and nervously bit his lower lip. Remus realized that Harry was not to make a decision anytime soon, so he settled for suggestions._

_"Do you want to read something with me?"_

_Harry's green eyes lit up and he nodded emphatically, but as Remus made his way over towards the few children's books on the shelf, Harry protested._

_"No."_

_Remus turned around and was startled when he saw Harry flinch back from him. He quickly raised his hands in a calming gesture._

_"Harry, I'm not going to be angry. Don't you want to read with me?"_

_"Yes, but…"_

_And suddenly, realization dawned._

_"Ah, but not those books, right?"___

_Harry nodded._

_"Do you want to read Donnie the Dragon?"_

_A huge smile spread across Harry's face and he nodded again._

_"Alright, wait a minute. I'll be back with the book."_

_Remus quickly hurried down the stairs, grabbed the book from the small table where Smith had left it, and went upstairs again._

_He found that Harry had not moved from his chair and was patiently waiting for him to return. Remus inwardly shook his head. The child should be searching the trunk for his toys, he should start making his room untidy, not sitting there like a ten year old in school._

_When Harry saw the book, his eyes lit up even more._

_Remus sat down on the edge of Harry's bed, one leg on the mattress and the other on the floor, and patted the spot next to him._

_"Come here, Harry."  
Again there was hesitancy in Harry's steps as he approached the bed, but when he realized that Remus really wanted him to sit down on it, he did. Remus shifted a little closer to the child, so that Harry would be able to see the pictures while Remus read the story, and then opened the book._

_It looked as if the book had been read hundreds of times, but when Remus thought about it, he thought it was more probable that Harry had looked at the pictures than that Petunia or __Vernon__ had read him the story. Well, he'd make up for that._

_Carefully, Remus put his right arm loosely around Harry, who was snuggled into the pillow, Rory clutched tightly in his arms, his eyes fixed on the book._

_"Comfortable?"_

_Harry nodded._

_"Alright.__ Once upon a time, there was a little green Dragon named Donnie."_

_"Dragon Don", Harry piped up. Remus laughed._

_"Yes, Dragon Don. Donnie lived with his Mum and Dad", here Remus indicated the picture of the little dragon with his parents, "and with many other dragon families in an old forest. But there was something different about Donnie. Donnie, the little green Dragon wanted to become a fire-fighter…"_

_Twenty minutes later, Remus tucked a sleeping Harry into a woollen blanket and pulled some lose strands of hair out of his eyes. Harry had slept in halfway through the book, Rory still clutched tightly in his arms, exhaustion of that exciting morning finally taking over. The book lay open next to him, on the page where Remus had left off. They could always finish it later._

_With a last look and a smile at the sleeping form of his godson, Remus closed the door. He'd go downstairs and prepare something for lunch while Harry was sleeping, but before that he'd fire-call Janus and his father. He had to tell them that Harry had arrived and was settling in._

_That Harry was home._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Claire was slightly startled when she arrived at the bookstore at half past eight and found the doors still closed. She was late, just as she had been about to leave the house, her mother had called through the fireplace. Though she had told her numerous times that she had to leave for work, her mother had ignored this and ranted on and on about the upcoming birthday party for her father. After she had been finally able to break the connection, she was already half an hour late.

There was a huge stack of ordered books bound to arrive that morning, and she and Remus had wanted to go through them and sort them into the shelves before the first morning rush of university students would arrive. After all, exams were only five weeks away. And Remus would not have the time to help her after the shop opened, he had an appointment with his former professor who was searching specific foreign literature on Defence. So she'd have to deal with the customers on her own until Martin would arrive around noon while the two of them would be in the back room, bending over large volumes of old catalogues and order forms. 

They had to get the new books into the shelves, otherwise she'd be running to and fro between the storage and the shop for the entire morning.

And the fact that Remus wasn't there startled her even more as she contemplated this. With a frown on her face, she pulled out her own key and stepped into the store, locking the door behind her again to prevent possible early morning customers to come in before she was ready.

Maybe Remus had already been here and then had to leave again. She quickly checked the counter, the backroom and the storage rooms, but found no sign of her colleague. Neither had he left a note, which she was sure he would have if he had already been here.

She opened the window, looking out into the backyard whether there was an owl waiting for her, but the only birds to be seen were some sparrows hopping around the yard.

Claire frowned her forehead. This was strange. Remus had been really looking forward to meeting his old professor again, and normally she had to literally drag him out of the shop when new books arrived. It was so unlike Remus not to show up for work, he only did that if something was wrong with Harry. And even then he took time to at least send an owl.

A lump formed in her stomach as she contemplated the possible reasons for this. Something was not right, this was completely untypical behaviour for Remus. What if something had happened?

With quick steps, Claire returned into the backroom and lit a fire in the fireplace. She knew that she could not floo into Remus' house, apart from it being completely impolite to simply show up there without a warning, there were way too many protection charms and wards in between to protect Harry. But she could call him on the network.

She grabbed some powder from a jar above the mantelpiece and threw it into the flames.

"Remus Lupin's."

The flames flickered blue for a moment, signalling that the connection had been established.

"Remus? Remus, it's me, Claire. Remus, are you there?"

She waited for a moment, giving Remus time to come to the living room in case he had been upstairs. After a minute, she tried again.

"Remus, can you hear me? Remus? I'm getting worried here, are you at home?"

Still, nobody answered.

For some time more, Claire tried to reach Remus via his fireplace, getting more and more worried with every minute that passed. Remus obviously wasn't at home, but where could he be? He only lived a ten-minute walk from the store, even if he had left just as she had called him he should be here by now.

Claire ran a hand through her long brown hair, trying to think of what she could do. Where could Remus be if he was neither home nor here?

"Richard Lupin's."

Again, the flames flickered blue.

"Richard? Richard, here is Claire, are you at home?"  
This time, it took only moments before the head of Remus' father appeared in the fireplace. Seeing who had called him, he smiled.

"Claire, good morning. What can I do for you, is there a problem at the store? Shall I come over?"  
"Well, yes there is a problem. I was wondering whether you knew where Remus was."  
Richard's smile immediately vanished and his forehead frowned.

"No, I don't know where he is. Why do you ask?"

"Well, when I came here fifteen minutes ago, the shop was still locked though I was already half an hour late. And I would have expected Remus to come here around half past seven latest, we've got a busy day in front of us."

"Maybe Harry is sick and he stayed home."

Claire shook her head.

"No, then he'd have send me an owl and surely he'd have asked Martin to come earlier. And he's not at home either, I've tried to reach him for minutes."

Now Richard looked downright worried. He too knew that this didn't sound like his son at all.

"That's strange indeed. Listen, I'll apparate over and then we'll check on him, okay? I'm sure nothing's wrong, but better be safe than sorry."

Claire nodded and broke the connection. After she had extinguished the fire, she left the shop and locked the door. Whoever wanted to purchase books this morning would have to wait until they were back.

With a low *pop*, Richard apparated next to her only moments after she had left the shop. The anti-apparition ward around Remus' house prevented him from apparating closer anyway.

Richard gave her a forced smile that could not entirely hide his concern.

"Good morning Claire. Shall we go?"

"Good morning again. Yes, I think we should."

They walked in silence for some moments, both not knowing exactly what to make of this strange morning. Richard finally broke the silence.

"When have you last seen Remus?"

"Yesterday afternoon when he left the shop. Janus had fetched Harry from school and had brought him over half an hour earlier, and before they went home he reminded me that today would become quite busy because of the large delivery and his appointment. It was nothing unusual, maybe he's been a bit restless all afternoon, but I guessed he was just excited to see his old professor again today."

She made a pause.

"It can't have anything to do with the full moon, can it?"

Richard shook his head.

"No, I don't think that. Full moon has been two weeks ago, that would be a first if his lycanthropy would affect him at a time like this."

Claire sighed and both continued their way towards the house. Nothing seemed unusual as they opened the garden door and stepped onto the front steps. Richard knocked and waited for a couple of moments, but when no reply came he tried to open the door on his own. He was more than surprised that it opened immediately.

Normally the door was locked during the night and when Remus wasn't at home. He looked at Claire and drew his wand. She mimicked his action, the leaden lump in her stomach growing bigger with every moment. Something was not right here, this wasn't like Remus at all.

"Stay behind me, okay?"

Claire nodded and they entered the house. The first thing they noticed was that despite the fact that everything looked normal, something definitely wasn't right. Claire wrinkled her nose. There was a horrible stench in the air, and knowing Remus' sensitive smelling sense, this was not normal.

"Do you smell that?"

Richard nodded.

"Dungbombs."

"What?"

"Dungbombs. Believe me, with two sons like Janus and Remus, let alone Remus' friends from school, I'd recognize that smell everywhere. I'm just wondering why Remus would set off dungbombs in his house."

They followed the biting stench towards its source, it seemed to come from the study. The door was slightly ajar, but Richard could not make out what was inside. With his hand, he gestured Claire silently to stay behind, then he opened the door and entered the room.

Claire saw him look around, then stop dead in his track. After a short moment of paralysis, he cursed loudly, stormed forward into the room and out of her sight. Claire quickly followed suit and she too stopped dead in her track when she took in the sight before her.

The room looked exactly like it had done when she had last seen it a couple of weeks ago. The books were neatly arranged in the shelves, except from two stacks that lay on Remus' desk amidst another stack of parchment. The chair in front of the desk and the two armchairs in front of the fireplace stood exactly where they usually stood. All in all, there was nothing unusual in the study.

That was, except from the slumped down figure that was lying in front of the fireplace, unmoving. Remus.

Richard bent over his son and frantically tried to get him awake.

"Remus? Remus, can you hear me? Come on Remus, wake up. What happened here?"

Claire made a tentative step forward, her voice nearly breaking.

"Is he…?"

Richard shook his head without looking up.

"No, he's still breathing. But he's unconscious and won't wake up. Come on Remus, wake up. Don't do this to me, you have to wake up."

He gently slapped his son's cheeks, then pulled his eyelids open and looked at his eyes. 

Even on a closer look, Remus appeared to be unharmed to Claire. The only obvious sign that there was something wrong with him, apart from the fact that he was not conscious, was the dried blood on his lower lip. It looked nearly as if he had bitten through it.

Claire shook herself out of her momentary shock and turned around.

"I'm going to call a medi-wizard."

Again, Richard didn't look up from his son as he nodded. Claire ran into the living room, lightened a fire and contacted St. Mungo's. After she had given the receptionist the address and warned them about the anti-apparition field, she went back into the study again.

Richard was still bent over Remus, but it seemed that he had run out of ways to wake his son up. The discarded wand next to him told her that even 'Enervate' hat not worked on Remus. By now he had pulled Remus' head into his lap and pleaded him to wake up in a low voice.

"The medi-wizards should be here in a couple of minutes. I don't know how to take the wards down, so they'll have to walk the last part of the way. But they should be here soon. I just wonder why Harry hasn't woken up and found him."

Richard spun around and stared at Claire with wide eyes. Over the shock of finding his son like this, he had completely forgotten about Harry. Claire gestured him to stay where he was.

"I'll go and look after Harry. I don't think it would be wise for him to see Remus like this."  
With this, she turned around and went back into the hall and up the stairs. She opened the door to Harry's room, expecting to see the boy still asleep in his bed. The sight that greeted her in Harry's bedroom was not what she had expected at all.

Even though the ground floor had appeared completely normal, Harry's room showed clear signs of a fight. Not that a seven year old boy could put up that much of a fight, but the blankets and pillows from his bed were strewn all around it and the bedside table had been knocked over. Also, one of the curtains had been ripped off and pulled across the room, just as if someone had grabbed it while being dragged away. Harry.

Claire felt sick. This could not be, could it? Harry had to be here, he could not have been taken away, not with all those wards and charms around the house. But then – those wards should have prevented anybody from coming into the house in the first place, but somebody had been here and attacked Remus.

Claire sank to her knees and looked under the bed, then opened the wardrobe and looked inside. No Harry. She checked all rooms on the upper floor, constantly calling out Harry's name and telling him that it was okay to come out of his hiding place, but received no answer. There was no trace of Harry anywhere here, not even in the attic.

Claire ran downstairs again, checking the kitchen, the storage and living room, but Harry was nowhere to be found. She looked into every cupboard which was big enough for the small boy to hide in, looked behind every curtain and even checked the garden and the garden shelter. No trace of Harry anywhere.

After long minutes of frantic search, Claire ran back into the house, nearly knocking one of the medi-wizards that had arrived in the meantime over on her way. Richard was still in the study, explaining the situation to the doctor that was bent over the still unmoving form of his son. 

"Richard?"

The older wizard turned at the sound of her voice and looked at Claire with a questioning gaze. Seeing the look on her face, he immediately got to his feet and went over towards her.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't find Harry. I checked everywhere, but he's not here. And his room…"

She had no time to finish her sentence because Richard already bolted upstairs towards his grandson's room. When he entered the child's bedroom, his first thought was the same Claire had had. Somebody had dragged Harry out of here.

Richard sat down on Harry's bed and buried his face in his hands. What in Merlin's name had happened here? Where was Harry? How could they find him?

Suddenly, an idea struck him. If Harry was till somewhere near the house, despite everything Richard believed, there was a way to find out.

He grabbed a t-shirt from the chair near the bed, Harry must have put it there before going to bed the previous evening. He put the shirt on his outstretched palm, his wand above it and muttered an incarnation.

"What are you doing?"

Claire had entered the room without him realizing and stared at him in a puzzled way.

"Tracking charm. If Harry is still anywhere here, it should show us."

He repeated the incarnation, but still nothing happened. The wand didn't move to point in any direction at all. Richard sighed and buried his face in his hands again. Claire sat down next to him on the bed.

"What now?"

He only shook his head.

"I don't know. I guess I should go back down and ask the doctor about Remus. And then we need to alert the Ministry. Janus will know what to do."

With a sigh, he got up from the bed and together they left the room. Downstairs in the hall, Remus was floating on a stretcher while the medi-wizards prepared to leave.

"Mr. Lupin?"

Richard went over to the doctor that had examined Remus.

"What is wrong with my son?"

The doctor sighed.

"The way it looks now, he's been put under the Cruciatus Curse."

Claire involuntarily shivered. Who would do something like that? Richard had blanched visibly.

"How long?"

The doctor shrugged, but it was obvious that he was concerned.

"Quite long, from the look of it."

Richard closed his eyes and stretched out his hand to steady himself on the wall. He dreaded the answer to his next question, but he needed to know.

"Will he be…was it too long? Will he wake up? And if, will he be…will…what will the curse have done to him?"

The medi-wizard sighed.

"Mr. Lupin, I can't tell you anything precise without a further examination in the hospital. Normally, I'd say that it was too long, but with your son being a lycanthrope I really cannot say. I do not have experience enough with your son's condition to tell you something precise. We'll alert a specialist on lycanthropy at the hospital."

Richard nodded, too concerned about Remus to even realize that if Claire had not already known about Remus being a werewolf, the doctor would have spilled the secret at that moment. Under different circumstances, he would have given the man a piece of his mind about it, but at that moment, he hadn't even realized what the man had said.

Someone had put his youngest son under the Cruciatus. And that someone had held the curse long enough that it was possible…Richard didn't allow himself to finish that thought. He would not think about the possibility that Remus might lose his mind, that he might have gone insane because of that curse. It would only drive him mad as well.

He and Claire watched the medi-wizards leave the house and only after they had left Richard was able to bring his thoughts back into something that at least resembled an order. 

The officials at St. Mungo's would report the incident to the Ministry as soon as they arrived, it was law that every use of an Unforgivable Curse had to be reported immediately, but he didn't want Janus to find out that way.

Slowly, as if he wasn't completely sure if he could trust his legs, Richard made his way over into the living room where the fire Claire had lit earlier was still burning.

Throwing some powder into the flames, he called up his son.

"Ministry of Magic, Department of Mysteries."

He was astonished as to how firm his voice sounded, but had no time to contemplate about this any longer because the head of an elderly woman appeared in the fireplace.

"Good Morning Sir, how can I help you?"

"I need to speak with Janus Lupin immediately."

The woman raised an eyebrow an looked at him with a piercing glare.

"I'm afraid that isn't possible. Do you want to leave a message for him?"  
Richard sighed. Blasted Department of Mysteries and all the fuss they made about the Unspeakables.

"Listen, I don't have time to argue with you, I need to speak to Janus Lupin. It's important."

The woman made a face as if she was about to explain something to a small child for the umpteenth time.

"You can't speak with him now, but I'll tell him that you've called. What shall I tell Mr. Lupin who wanted to speak to him?"

Richard inwardly counted to ten, but realized that this didn't help to calm his anger one bit.

"Listen carefully, because I don't want to repeat myself. You will get me Janus Lupin in a fireplace right now, I know that he's not out on a mission. I'm his father, for Merlin's sake, and I wouldn't call if it wasn't an emergency. Now stop idly polishing your nails, get your ass out of your chair and connect me to my son, or I'll apparate over and show you what I think about your blasted 'Unspeakables are not available to common people' attitude. Did I make myself clear?"

Richard had not even realized that he had started shouting, but the secretary flinched as his voice grew louder with every word. She stared at him for a moment, then her head vanished from the fireplace.

Just as Richard was about to turn around to make his threat of apparating to the Ministry a fact, a voice from the fireplace told him to wait while he was connected.

He sighed and started pacing in front of the fireplace until, after maybe half a minute, the head of his oldest son appeared in the fireplace, a bemused smile playing around his lips.

"Dad? What's wrong? You disturbed Maggie quite a lot, I don't know if she was scared to death or willing to hex you into next year. What is this all about?"

When Janus saw the look in his father's eyes, his face fell and his own eyes grew wide.

"Dad? What has happened?"

"Janus, please come over to Remus' house immediately. I don't want to talk about it through the fireplace."

Janus thought for a moment, then nodded. 

"I'll be there in a couple of minutes."

His head vanished and Richard fell backwards onto the sofa. Claire, who had been silent up to that point, sat down next to him and put a comforting arm around his shoulders. But as much as she wished to tell the older man that everything would be alright, she could not bring herself to tell him something that might turn out a complete lie. Remus might have been driven mad by the Cruciatus, and where Harry was only Merlin knew. 

Claire was not oblivious to her surroundings, she knew that Harry was no ordinary child. His life was connected to You-Know-Who and his downfall, and if there were still Death Eaters out there, they would not want Harry to grow up in peace. But there had been no Death Eater activity, none at all, not since a year after You-Know-Who vanished. Why now? And who? Even if it wasn't a Death Eater who had abducted Harry, the child had been taken from his home by force, by someone with whom he had not willingly gone. And that meant that Harry was in danger.

Janus' voice from the hall made her look up.

"Dad?"

"In here."

Janus hurried into the living room, wand in hand as if he expected an attack at his entrance. As soon as he realized that no threat was present, he pocketed his wand and crouched down in front of his father, putting his hands on the older man's knees. Richard looked up.

"Dad, what happened? What's that smell? And where's Remus? And Harry?"

Richard sighed and put his head back in his neck, staring at the ceiling. Tears had started to form in his eyes, but he would not allow himself to break down and cry in front of his son. Not here, not now. After some short moments, he seemed to have collected his thoughts and looked back at his son.

"Remus didn't turn up at the bookstore this morning, and when Claire called me about it, we came here to check if everything was alright. He…Janus, somebody has been here last night. Somebody managed to get through all the wards and protection charms, put Remus under Cruciatus and took Harry."

Janus' eyes grew even wider and he gripped his father's knees tightly, as if they were all that kept him in balance.

"You're sure Harry is gone?"

Richard nodded.

"I performed a tracking charm. He's not anywhere near anymore. And his room looks as if someone had taken him against his will."  
Tense moments of silence followed during which Richard tried to prepare himself for his son's next question. But he knew he couldn't.

"What about Remus? How long?"

Just as Richard when he had asked the doctor earlier on, Janus didn't need to elaborate what he was talking about any further. He too knew exactly what the consequences of being held under Cruciatus for too long could be. He maybe more than anybody else, he had seen more than his fair share of it during his years in the Department of Mysteries.

"The doctor said maybe too long. But he wasn't sure because of his lycanthropy."

Janus nodded and got up from his crouch. But instead of sitting down, he started pacing in front of the couch table. 

Claire finally found her voice again and asked what had been on her mind for quite some time now.

"But who? I mean, who would be mad enough to risk getting caught while breaking through the wards of such a well-protected house, and who would want to do that to Remus and the child? Who would attack Remus in the middle of the night and then take away a defenceless seven year old child? Who would be mad enough to do that, and intelligent enough not to get caught in the act?"

Richard's face became an emotionless mask.

"I don't know. I just don't know."

Janus turned around and looked at his father. He had a very good idea who it could have been, but he couldn't tell his father about it. He just couldn't.

But if Janus could ever lay his hands on Sirius Black, nothing would be able to save that man.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Richard and Janus apparated into the waiting area of St. Mungo's a short while later. Claire had, reluctantly, agreed to go back to the shop and deal with the delivery and the customers during the day, as well as to tell Remus' former Professor that he was ill and therefore could not keep up their appointment. She had only agreed after Richard had promised to let her know immediately in case they got news on Remus' state.

None of the two men was too surprised to see Albus Dumbledore sitting on a chair in the far corner of the waiting area. Though they couldn't imagine how, the older wizard always seemed to know everything immediately.

When he saw Richard and Janus approaching he got up from his chair to greet the pair.

"Richard, Janus. I came as soon as I could."

Seeing their confused faces, Dumbledore realized that a little further elaboration would be right.

"The Ministry immediately informed me that something had happened at Remus' place. I guess they'll start questioning us about it anytime soon."

Richard nodded.

"Any news?"

Dumbledore shook his head and Richard dropped into a chair with a deep sigh. He really didn't want to think about whether no news was bad news or not. He was too afraid that the answer would be yes. He was quite glad when Janus put his focus on something else.

"Do you have any idea how somebody could have gotten around all those protection spells and wards, Professor? I can't imagine how."

Dumbledore sighed deeply.

"To be completely honest, neither can I. I don't think that those wards have flaws. Nobody could have apparated into the house, and in case somebody had tried to breach them, especially after dark, the alerts would have gone off. Not only in the house, but also in my office. But nothing happened last night. Also, nobody without the password could have flooed in.

So either Remus has let the attacker into the house, or they have gotten through the wards."

Janus thought for a moment, then shook his head.

"No. Those wards have no holes. I have checked and strengthened them, just like you and Remus himself have done. We'd have realized if there was any hole for somebody to get through. And there wasn't, I'm absolutely positive. 

And neither can I imagine that Remus has invited somebody in, not after nightfall. The only persons he'd have let in would have been our Dad, me, my wife or Claire. No, I can't imagine that."

Dumbledore stared at the two others with a concerned frown.

"Maybe someone used Polyjuice and disguised themselves as one of you."  
This time, Richard shook his head.

"No, you can't fool Remus that easily. Though full moon was as far away as possible, he'd have gone suspicious. His smelling sense is incredibly strong, he'd have at least smelled that something was not completely right."

Suddenly, Janus cocked his head and frowned. Richard looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"What is it, Janus?"

Janus shook his head.

"I was just wondering. That smell in Remus' house."

Richard nodded.

"Dungbombs, set off in the study."

"Yes, but that's strange. Remus can't stand having that smell around, and he'd never allow Harry to set them off. And even if the child did, he'd get rid of that smell immediately, because for him it's even more unbearable."

Dumbledore raised his hand.  
"Wait. Somebody set off Dungbombs in Remus' study? The place where he was attacked?"  
Both men nodded.

"And you're sure that it was neither Remus himself nor Harry? Maybe a prank?"

Richard shook his head.

"Absolutely. Remus once got really furious when he found a Dungbomb in Harry's room. I'm sure that the child never again thought about Dungbombs, let alone brought them home."

Dumbledore frowned his forehead and thought for a moment. A suspicion that had been growing in him increased steadily, but he needed to ask Remus about it.

"Maybe we should try to think who could have done it, and wonder about how it was done when we found Harry."

Richard just buried his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes. Suddenly, he felt very tired and old. He didn't need all this sorrow, not again. Janus put a comforting hand on his father's back, but Richard didn't even realize it.

Dumbledore just wanted to say something, but at that moment a nurse came into the waiting room.

"Are you here because of Remus Lupin?"

The three men nodded and got up.

"Dr. Waters is waiting for you, if you'd follow me, please."

The nurse led them out of the room, down a corridor and into an office near the end. She opened the door and gestured them to come in.

They entered a typical office in a hospital. A desk stood near the window, some chairs in front of it, and the rest of the space was taken by a rather large amount of medical instruments, reference books and physiognomy charts on the walls.

Richard distantly remembered Dr. Waters, the old wizard was a specialist in the field of lycanthropy and once or twice, he and his wife had visited him when Remus had still been very young.

Dr. Waters stood up and gestured the three men to take a seat.

"Hello Mr. Lupin, it's been a long time since we've last met."

He nodded his greetings at Dumbledore, whom he knew from various occasions, and Janus. The similarity between Janus and Richard immediately related them, so he didn't inquire his identity any further.

Richard didn't want to wait any longer.

"What about my son, Dr. Waters. What has happened to Remus?"

The elderly medi-wizard sighed.

"I've examined Remus very thoroughly and found the assumptions of his first examination confirmed. Somebody had held Remus under the Cruciatus Curse, and has done so for a very long time."

He glanced around the three men in front of him, his next question unspoken until Janus answered.

"We all know about his lycanthropy. I'm his brother, it would have been quite hard to hide it from me."

Dr. Waters nodded.

"Well, we can only evaluate the damage that has been caused by the curse when he wakes up, but I'm fairly convinced that he'll be alright within a week. Lycanthropes have an extreme physical and psychological stability against those kind of curses, they are able to distribute the damage a lot better because they are not entirely human. Though Remus was fairly lucky that he was attacked at this time of the month. Had it been close to or, even worse, shortly after the full moon, his lycanthropy would have exactly the reversed effect. But now, with his physical and mental condition not harmed or strained by the wolf's pull, he'll manage to cope with the effects of the curse without lasting damage."

Richard let out a breath he had not even known he'd been holding while Janus next to him sighed deeply. At least for once that blasted curse had proven good for Remus.

"Is he awake? Can I see him?"

Waters nodded.

"Yes, you can see him, though he is not awake yet. He might be sleeping for another couple of hours, but you can stay with him if you want to. I'll show you his room."

The three men got up and followed Dr. Waters out of his office, down a variety of corridors until they reached a secluded corridor. Waters gave Richard an apologetic glance as they went through the glass door that separated the so called 'lycanthropy unit'.

"The Ministry insists that lycanthropes are separated from the other patients. Though I have to admit that it's necessary as well as useful at full moon."

He stopped in front of the second door to the right. 

"This is your son's room. You might stay with him as long as you like, if you want to stay overnight just tell one of the nurses, they will arrange a place to sleep for you."

He shook their hands and left them. Richard already wanted to open the door, but Dumbledore held him back.

"Richard, I'll take my leave as well. Inform me as soon as Remus wakes up, I'd like to talk to him before the Ministry starts upsetting things."

Richard nodded and Dumbledore too left them. With a deep breath, Richard opened the door and he and Janus entered Remus' room.

There was only one bed in it, next to the window. Remus was lying in it, blankets drawn up to his chest and his head fallen to the side. He was still sleeping.

Richard immediately walked to his side while Janus pulled up another chair for himself. Had it not been for the clinical environment, Remus could have been peacefully sleeping in his bed. They both sat down and Richard took one of Remus' hands in his.

Hours passed during which Janus and Richard silently sat beside Remus' bed and watched him sleep. Inwardly, Richard was thinking over and over again for a way to tell his son what had happened to Harry. But he knew perfectly well that no matter what way he chose to break the news, it would upset Remus greatly. He loved Harry like a son, no matter that there were no blood ties existing between them. Remus would be positively petrified and devastated by the news that his beloved godson had vanished without a trace.

Both men nearly jumped in shock when suddenly a voice addressed them from behind.

"Mr. Lupin?"

Richard and Janus turned around and saw that a nurse had quietly entered Remus' room.

"Sorry to disturb you, but there are Ministry officials out there who want to speak to Mr. Richard Lupin. I told them that you were with your son, but they said the matter was urgent."

Richard nodded and got up with a sigh. Of course they thought their matter was more urgent than anything else. This was the Ministry of Magic, after all.

"Ill try to make it as short as possible, Janus. Call me if anything changes."

His son nodded and Richard left the room.

Janus got up from his chair and stretched his aching back. Four hours in a hospital chair and he already felt as if he was getting rheumatic. They were making them uncomfortable on purpose, he suspected. 

After the pain had subsided a little, he went over to the large window and looked outside. Remus' room was facing into the backyard of St. Mungo's, but Janus didn't really pay any attention to the constant activity three floors below. His gaze unfocussed and his thoughts drifted off to what might have happened last night.

He was sure that the wards protecting Remus' house would have never allowed anybody to enter it without Remus' explicit permission. If somebody had tried to breach them, had only set lose a weak curse into the direction of the wards' sources, several alarms would have gone off, and there had been no sign indicating that this had happened.

It was no surprise that somebody had been able to leave with Harry without disturbing the wards, they were set up to hinder people from entering, not from leaving. So the question was not how Harry had been taken away, but how the attacker had come into the house.

The only answer Janus could think of was that Remus had let the perpetrator in, that it had been someone Remus didn't consider to be a threat. It couldn't have been Harry, the boy knew that he wasn't allowed to let somebody enter the house without asking for Remus' consent.

Maybe they had flooed in?

Janus sighed. No, that was not a possibility either. The fireplace was password-guarded, and Remus changed the password everyday. Sometimes even Janus or their father didn't know the momentary password and had to wait for Remus to let them in. The 'Paris Panthers incident' was still vividly in Janus' mind.

'Think Janus, think. Somewhere there's the loophole, there must be something you haven't considered yet.'

Janus had started pacing in front of Remus' bed without even realizing it. Maybe he was looking at things from the wrong angle. Okay, what else had been strange?

Harry's room had looked as if the boy had tried to put up a fight. So, even if Remus had let in somebody he knew, Harry had not wanted to leave with the person.

There had been no signs of a fight in the study. Maybe Remus had known the person, or maybe he had been taken by surprise.

The dungbombs. Another piece that didn't seem to fit in the puzzle. Neither Remus nor Harry would set off dungbombs in the house, Remus smelling sense was far too sensitive for that. But why would somebody whose intention was to hurt Remus and take Harry set off dungbombs in the process?

Then something clicked.

Something about the dungbombs. 

Something Richard had said earlier to Dumbledore.

Something about Polyjuice.

Of course.

Richard had explained to Dumbledore that Remus would have grown suspicious even if the attacker had disguised himself with Polyjuice, because Remus would have realized that the smell did not fit with the disguise.

Why would somebody set off dungbombs in the house? Assuming that the attacker had known about Remus' lycanthropy and his heightened senses, he would have tried to cover up any traces of himself in the house, just in case that Remus recovered from the curse.

So the attacker had to be somebody Remus knew, somebody whose smell he would immediately recognize.

Sirius Black.

Janus sighed. He didn't know more than before, but at least is somehow made sense now. The only question that still remained was how that maniac had managed to get into a house that had nearly as many wards and charms around as Hogwarts.

Ever since Black had escaped from Azkaban, the Department of Mysteries had been in a state of constant alert and panic. Many people feared him because they believed all those rumours about his ability in the Dark Arts. Janus didn't.

Oh, he had no doubt that Black was deranged and dangerous, but he didn't believe him to be the world's most capable Dark Wizard. From all that he knew about Black, from the few times he had met him, he knew that he was a capable and powerful wizard, but not beyond the level many other skilled wizards were able to achieve.

But Black was highly intelligent, clever and cunning. He was a fast learner, and no doubt he had learned his fair share of Dark Magic in the ranks of the Death Eaters. It was this combination that made him dangerous, not the silly belief that he was capable of doing practically anything. Really, some of the stories he had heard during the last couple of days…

Janus by now had stopped pacing and stood again at the window, his hands balled to fists on the windowsill, and stared outside. Somewhere out there was Black, and he had Harry. Had he already delivered the boy into the hands of the other Death Eaters? What were they trying to do with him? Bring Voldemort back? Was Harry still alive? Where was he?

"How does your twisted mind work, Black? Where did you take the boy?"

"Janus?"

Startled, Janus spun around. He hadn't even realized that he had uttered those last words aloud, but Remus seemed to have woken up at hearing his voice. Janus sat back into the chair and forced himself to smile at his younger brother.

"Good to see you awake again. How are feeling?"

Remus seemed to contemplate that question for some moments and Janus realized that he still had to be feeling very weak. His face was abnormally pale and his lower lip was still swollen, though the doctors had mended the cut. Remus too seemed to realize this because he started to run his tongue along his lip and his eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Alright, I think. Somewhat sore and tired. Janus, what happened?"

Janus sighed and unconsciously looked at the door. He wished his father was here to explain the situation. Truly, he and Remus had gotten closer throughout the last couple of years, but there was still a strain in their relationship that had its origins many years in the past. And though they got along quite well by now, they still walked on thin ice emotionally.

"Janus, what happened? Where am I?"

Janus realized that he would have to get through with it alone.

"You're in St. Mungo's. Remus, what do you remember of yesterday evening?"

Remus frowned in confusion and thought for a moment.

"You brought Harry into the store, and some time later we went home. Maybe half an hour. I made dinner, looked over Harry's homework and then put him to bed. Then I went downstairs again and tried to get some work done, to leaf through some catalogues for my meeting with Professor Reynolds today."

Suddenly he sat bolt upright.

"Oh my, the meeting! Professor Reynolds! And I promised to help Claire with the delivery!"

Janus put a calming hand onto Remus' shoulder and pressed his brother back into the mattress.

"We've taken care of that. What else do you remember?"

Remus thought again, growing more and more confused.

"Nothing really. I…I think I made myself some tea and went back into the living room, but then…nothing."

He looked up, confusion and a slight hinge of panic in his eyes.

"Janus, what in Merlin's name happened last night? And where is Harry? Is Harry alright? Janus?"

Janus sighed an rubbed his eyes with the balls of his hands. Suddenly, he felt very tired.

"Remus, somebody attacked you last night. Somebody got through the wards without triggering the alarms and then put you under Cruciatus in the study. That's where Dad and Claire found you this morning after you didn't show up for work. 

Whoever did that held the curse for long. The doctors…they weren't sure if…gosh, Remus we were afraid that it had been too long…"

Janus' voice broke and he bent his head, gripping his hair in his hands in a gesture of frustration. He knew that he hadn't answered Remus' question and he dreaded the moment that he would, but he also knew that there was no way he could get out of this.

"Janus, where is Harry? Is he alright?"

Summoning the last piece of courage, Janus looked up and straight into his brother's eyes.

"Remus, Harry is gone. Whoever attacked you took Harry with them, and we don't know where he is."

Remus' eyes widened as realization dawned. Again, he jumped up into a sitting position.

"What do you mean he is gone? Where is he? Is he alright?"

"Remus, we don't know. Harry wasn't in the house when we got there, and every tracking charm we tried showed no trace of him. He's been taken away."

With a speed far to fast for Janus to react, Remus had gotten out his bed. Not caring that he didn't wear anything except a pair of boxer shorts, he started pacing up and down.

"What do you mean you don't know? He has to be somewhere. There has to be a simple explanation for this, there simply has to be. Maybe you just didn't look close enough."

He went over towards the cupboard and ripped it open in haste.

"Where are my clothes? I have to get back home, I'm sure he is still somewhere around. He's good at hiding, you know? You just haven't looked close enough, it's impossible that somebody has taken Harry away from the house. I was there, I would have done something to prevent that. He's still there Janus, I'll find him."

Remus was just about to pull on his shirt when he felt strong hands gripping him around the waist from behind and dragging him back towards the bed. He struggled against Janus' hold on his body.

"No, let me go, I have to look for Harry! Janus, you don't understand…"

Janus winced when one of Remus' elbows hit him square across the jaw, but he didn't release his hold on his brother. Blasted werewolf strength.

After some minutes of struggle he finally had Remus seated on the bed again and loosened his grip on him a little. Taking the shirt out of Remus' hand, he forced his brother to look him in the eye.

"Look at me Remus. We don't know how, but Harry is gone. He's nowhere in or around the house, we've checked everything at least twice. I know that it's hard, but that's a fact. It's important now that you don't lose your head, alright? Harry needs you now. If you want to help him, you've got to remain calm, okay?"

Remus shook his head but he seized struggling against Janus' hold on him. 

"But how? How could somebody get into the house? And why didn't I realize it? Why don't I even remember it?"

Janus just shook his head. 

"I honestly don't know Remus. I just don't know. The strangest thing is that the last thing you remember is being in the living room, but you were found in the study. Think again Remus, try to remember what happened after you went into the living room."

Remus just stared unfocusedly ahead.

"Remus?"

No reaction.  
"Remus, please talk to me."

"The Ministry was right."

"What?"

Janus didn't really know what to make of that comment.

"I couldn't protect him. He was taken from straight under my nose and I couldn't prevent it. They've been right all along, I couldn't protect Harry. And now he's gone, Merlin knows where and it's all my fault. It was my task to protect him and I failed."

And then Remus broke down. With a loud sob he started crying, burying his head in his hands. 

At first, Janus didn't know how to react, but after some moments he awkwardly pulled his brother into an embrace and let him cry on his shoulder. This was not like comforting a small child like his daughter or Harry, and neither was it like comforting his wife. 

He had never seen Remus let his guard down like this. Normally, his little brother had his emotions under a very strict control and didn't allow himself to break down like that, and Janus didn't really know how to react to this new development.

"Listen, it's not been your fault, okay? I know that you would have done everything in your power to prevent this. You would do anything for Harry, no matter at what personal risk. Nobody blames you, understand?"

He got no reaction out of Remus, so he rubbed his back in what he hoped was a calming gesture. At least it always helped with Julia.

"Shhh, it'll be alright. We'll do anything we can, but you need to calm down. You still need rest, and maybe we'll already know more tomorrow morning, okay? I'll fetch the nurse to give you something to calm down, and then you, I, Dumbledore and Dad will talk it all through. We'll find out what happened, alright? We'll find Harry."

He lowered the now silently crying Remus back onto the mattress and pulled the blanket back over his body. Their eyes met for a moment and Janus inwardly flinched as he saw the pained expression on his brother's face. Remus raised one of his hands towards the spot where his elbow had connected with Janus' jaw.

"Sorry about that."

Janus absent-mindly rubbed his chin and shook his head.

"It's alright, nothing that a quick spell can't heal."

Remus let his hand fall back onto the mattress and stared out of the window.

"I just want him back, Janus. I just want him to be safe."

Janus nodded and pushed away some strands of hair from Remus' face.

"We'll do everything we can to get him back. I promise."

As he turned around to call his father and a nurse, only one thought was on his mind.

Black would pay for this, and he would pay bitterly.


	11. Bitter Truths

I'm finally back with the next chapter!

Thank you all for waiting so patiently, and thanks for all the well-wishes I received during the past week. Everything is nearly back to normal here, including all family members healthy. 

I don't have an own flat anymore (and I'd really, really advice you not to move back with your parents after living alone for 3 ½ years), but that's okay for now. Worse is that I don't have an own internet connection anymore, none at all to be precise. I have to go to university to go to the internet.

That's why there are no review responses this week. Though I've read them all and can't thank you enough for taking the time to leave a remark, I just don't have them here on my computer to answer them.

Just one remark stayed in my mind, and I'd like to take the time to answer it now. Unfortunately I can't remember who it was, but somebody mentioned that my way pf putting the "…" to mark direct speech are wrong. Thanks for letting me know, and now I understand why so many other authors repeat them at the beginning of every paragraph during one and the same direct speech. 

But I guess everybody who doesn't like my way of handling the direct speech marks (namely one at the beginning of the direct speech and one at the end, not minding any paragraphs), just has to live with it in that case. In Germany we handle them differently, namely the way I do them, and every other way just screams "WRONG" at me. And I'm sure that when I start doing them differently, I'll just start mixing the two ways up and things will get really, really confusing. 

But thanks for pointing it out, usually I'm eager to improve what I do wrong.

That's all left for me today, so here you go with the 'real' chapter 11. 

Enjoy!

**Bitter Truths**

Harry Potter was not happy. 

Until yesterday, he had been. But now, he most definitely was not happy.

Until yesterday evening, everything in his life had been normal. Well, as normal as it could be. There had only been this one evening when his uncle Janus had sent he and Remus to Hogwarts because he had thought the bad men had come for Harry and Remus. But in the end it had shown that there had been no bad men, only uncle Janus' friend Lucas, and so going to Hogwarts had not been much different from the many times he had been there before. And this time he had met the house elves, and they had given him a huge piece of chocolate cake, so it really hadn't been that bad.

Until yesterday evening.

Harry still didn't know what had happened or why it had happened. Everything had been so normal. School, his uncle Janus bringing him to the bookstore, dinner with Remus at home, a goodnight story, a kiss on the forehead and then he had been asleep.

And had only woken to the sound of blood-freezing screams from downstairs.

Remus' screams.

Harry had never heard his godfather scream before. He had heard Remus a couple of times, on some occasions he had even been the receiving end of those shouts, but never had he heard Remus scream like that. Maybe because of that those screams had scared him even more. And because it had sounded as if his godfather had been in horrible pain.

But that couldn't have been true. Remus had once told Harry that his transformations were quite painful, but yesterday evening had not been a full moon. Remus never let Harry be around him during full moons. And there couldn't have been something else hurting Remus, because Remus could make everything better. Everything.

Whenever Harry had a tummy ache or a scratched knee, Remus always had a potion or a quick spell at hand, or sometimes he only needed to hug Harry and a ruffle across his hair to make it better. And it always helped. Remus could always make the pain go away, so why had he been screaming so loud then last night?

Harry had not liked to hear Remus scream, it had hurt him. He had wanted to get up and find Remus, give him a hug and try to make it all better for his godfather, but something had held him back. For some reason, Harry had not climbed out of his bed and tried to find Remus, and after some minutes the screams had stopped.

Harry had sat on his bed, his hands covering his ears, hoping for the screams to stop for minutes, but when they had finally ended and the house had been silent again, it had been even worse. This had not been one of the comfortable silences that sometimes just happened. It had immediately reminded Harry of this one time when he and David had 'lent' the broom of David's mum. And just like back then, when David had lost his grip on the handle and within a second his whops and laughs had turned into a shrill shriek and then silence, just like Harry had known it then he had known it yesterday evening. Something had happened, and it had been something really, really bad.

Harry had even wished that Remus would start screaming again, even hearing his godfather in obvious pain was better than not hearing him at all. 

And then everything had happened so fast, Harry hardly remembered it at all. He knew that he had been climbing out of his bed when suddenly his door had been thrown open and a man in a hooded cloak had stood in the doorway.

He must have screamed in surprise, but Harry didn't remember that. He remembered throwing pillows, crawling away, shouting Remus' name, and he remembered the vise-like grip with which the man had grabbed him on his shoulders. He had been screaming then, Harry was sure about that. But it hadn't helped any, either. Not at all. He had tried to hold himself at the curtains, but they had torn off quickly and the man had carried Harry out of the room, down the stairs and out of the door. They had passed the study, and there Harry had seen Remus. His godfather had been lying on the floor, eyes closed as if asleep. But there had been blood on his face and he had not looked as if he was sleeping. Harry had screamed his name, had called him over and over again, but Remus had not reacted. Remus was a light sleeper, he always woke up when Harry called him.

But he had not woken up yesterday evening. He had not even moved, no matter how loud Harry had screamed or how hard he had struggled to get to his godfather's side.

The only reaction his struggles had provoked had been that the man who had been carrying him had raised his wand and muttered a spell, and after that Harry didn't remember anything.

The next thing Harry remembered was waking up here, in this small room. He didn't know where he was, he had never been in that particular room before. There was no window he could reach to look out, only some small slits near the ceiling. Too far above for Harry to reach. There also was no real furniture in the room, only a small cot with a dirty blanket.

And he had been alone.

This realization had maybe been the most scary of them all. As soon as he had woken up, Harry had started to scream for help, to scream for Remus, for his uncle or grandpa to come and help him, but no matter how long he had shouted, there had been no reaction. Nobody had come for him, nobody was there to come and help him. And Harry didn't know why all this was done to him.

As he had realized this, Harry had done the only thing he could think of, and the one thing he couldn't help but do, no matter how childish it had seemed. He had sat down on the cot, had pulled his knees up to his chest and had started crying.

After some minutes he had felt something press into the small of his back, and upon grabbing for it, he had found that somehow his beloved stuffed lion had been brought here, too. He must have held onto it while that cloaked man had taken him away, and while he had been sleeping it had been lying on the cot, only waiting for him to wake up and find it.

"Rory."

Though Harry was still far too confused to smile, he held his lion tightly and stroke the amber fur and mane, a movement that soothed his own fear a little. Now there was something he knew, something he could rely on. Rory. His stuffed lion. Remus had given it to him, back when Harry had still been living with his other aunt and uncle. He had given it to Harry so that he wouldn't forget Remus (though Harry doubted that anybody could ever forget his godfather) and surely Remus would never forget Harry either. He'd come and get him as soon as he could. 

That man had hurt Remus, but as soon as uncle Janus or his grandpa had made him stop hurting he'd come and get him. Remus would come, but Harry only hoped it wouldn't take him too long.

Burying his face in Rory's mane, Harry wiped away his tears.

"Please come fast, Remus. I'm scared."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_Remus woke up, not really knowing what it was that had disturbed his sleep. He was a light sleeper, nearly everything out of the usual woke him, but he had no idea what precisely it had been this time. Usually in those situations, Remus was able to pinpoint the source of his distraction quite quickly, but tonight he was at a loss._

_Remus craned his neck to glance at the clock on his bedside table. __Half past three__. Groaning, he turned around in his bed and did his best to rebuild his comfortable cocoon of blankets. Just as he buried his head in his pillow and closed his eyes, he heard it again._

_A small, choked sob.___

_Remus sat up in his bed and frowned, not able to explain the uneasy feeling that immediately started to rise inside of him._

_Where did that sound come from? He was alone in the house, who could be…and then it hit him. Harry! How could he have forgotten about Harry?_

_As fast as he could, Remus dug himself out of his blankets and hurried out of the room. He was mentally slapping himself over and over again that he had forgotten about Harry. He should have realized that it was about Harry the moment he had woken up from his sleep._

_True, this was only the second night Harry spent with him, and surely it would take him some time longer to get used to this new situation, but still he should have thought about Harry straight away._

_It was obvious that Harry wasn't really comfortable with his new circumstances of living, too. He was still shy and withdrawn, hardly ever dared to speak up when he was not asked directly, and most of the day he spent in his room when Remus didn't ask him to come downstairs. But it had only been two days so far, Remus couldn't really expect Harry to be head over heels after only such a short time._

_Right now he was more worried what was causing Harry to sob and cry like that in the middle of the night. _

_Carefully so as not to startle the child, Remus opened the door to Harry's room and lit the tip of his wand, so that a soft glow emanated from it, just enough to chase the shadows of the dark room away._

_"Harry?"_

_The child didn't answer, but another stifled sob from the direction of the bed told Remus that Harry indeed was crying. Slowly, Remus approached the bed and sat down on the edge. In the dim light his wand provided, Remus could see that Harry's small body was curled up into a tight ball, the stuffed lion once more clutched tightly in his small arms._

_"Harry?"_

_Remus stretched out his hand and lightly stroke Harry's mussed black hair. This small contact was enough to send the child jumping up into a sitting position, trying to get as far away from Remus as possible. His green eyes were flung wide open in panic, and they were still glassy with tears. The tear-tracks were still standing out prominently on his small cheeks._

_His expression was so fearful, it melted Remus' heart._

_"I-I'm s-sorry. Sorry, sorry, s-sorry."_

_Harry's voice was small and barely audible, but what startled Remus even more than this and the stuttering was the fact that Harry was apologizing to him._

_"Harry, what's wrong?"_

_He tried to sound as warm and gentle as possible, but even though Remus himself thought he had succeeded in this, it didn't seem to soothe Harry's fears. On the contrary, the small boy started shaking even more. Alarmed, Remus lit the lamp on Harry's bedside table and raised his hands in a calming gesture._

_"Harry?"_

_"Sorry."_

_The child sounded defeated and he didn't look up to meet Remus' eyes. It was a heartbreaking sight._

_"Harry, why do you apologize? Whatever are you sorry for?"_

_Harry sniffed, wiped his face with the sleeve of his pyjama and kept on staring at his blankets, his small fingers nervously working through the mane of his stuffed lion._

_"W-waking you."_  
Remus shook his head and slid closer to the still trembling child.HH During the past two days he had realized that Harry was not used to any kind of physical comfort at all, but nevertheless Remus couldn't help but put his arm loosely around Harry's shaking shoulder.__

_"Did your aunt and uncle get angry when you woke them up at night?"_

_The small head nodded up and down barely visible. Remus sighed. He should have known. If he ever encountered those blasted relatives of Harry's again, he'd show them what he thought about the way they had treated the child. A two and a half year old should not be plagued by nightmares in the first place, but teaching the child that he wasn't allowed to wake them up in search of comfort was too much for him to understand._

_"Harry, I'm a really light sleeper. Everything wakes me up, it's not your fault, okay? Harry?"_

_Watery green eyes looked up at him, and it took Remus every piece of self-restraint not to scoop the toddler up in his arms and hug him tightly. He didn't know whether Harry would appreciate this very much at the moment._

_"Harry, why are you crying?"_

_Harry just shrugged his shoulders and let his head sink down._

_"Did you have a bad dream?"_

_A small nod of the head._ Remus let out a small sigh of relief. If it had only been a nightmare, it wasn't so bad. Nightmares they could deal with, but there were some things he needed to tell Harry first.__

_"The dream scared you?"  
Again, Harry only nodded._

_"Harry, please look at me."_

_Still Remus managed to keep his voice gentle and soothing, but the look in Harry's eyes clearly told that the boy thought he was in deep trouble now. He gave Harry a small smile._

_"Harry, when you have a bad dream and you're scared, I want you to tell me about it. Alright? Just wake me up and tell me about it. Okay?"_

_Harry looked up at him as if he could not believe what he had just heard. Again, Remus smiled down at him and gently rubbed slow circles across Harry's back. He was glad to see that the shaking and sobbing seemed to have stopped for the moment._

_"Tell me about the dream, Harry."_

_Immediately, Harry's chin started to tremble and his eyes filled with tears again. He vigorously shook his head._

_"You don't want to talk about it?"_

_Another shake of the head.___

_Remus sighed. This was far more difficult than he had ever imagined it to be. Tomorrow, when his father would come over for his first visit, Remus would apologize. Just in case._

_One look at Harry made Remus smile. Under his continued caress on Harry's back, not only Harry's trembling had subsided, but also his eyes were beginning to drop close again._

_"Harry? Come on pup, let's get you back to bed."_

_"NO!"_

_Immediately, Harry forced his eyes as wide up as they would open._

_"No, 'm not tired."_

_Remus just raised an eyebrow. One moment, the child had been half asleep, and the next he pretended to be wide awake. Remus really didn't understand him._

_"Harry, it's four in the morning. It's still too early to get up, you should really try to sleep for another couple of hours."_

_"No."_

_Remus sighed. Harry was tired, that much was sure. And he needed to sleep, because if he stayed up now he wouldn't make it past breakfast without his eyes falling close._

_"Harry, how about that, you try to get back to sleep now, and I stay here until you've slept in? Would that be okay?"_

_Harry seemed to think for a moment, then he slowly nodded. With a small smile, Remus pulled one of the small chairs over and transfigured it into a more comfortable armchair. Harry watched him in awe, like he had done every time Remus had performed magic in front of him. It would take a lot more time until he'd get used to living in a wizarding household._

_Now that Remus watched the small child, sitting in the far too big bed, blankets and the stuffed lion tightly in his grasp, he couldn't help the warm, fuzzy feeling that spread through his stomach. Two days, and he had already fallen for the child. Fallen hard. Truth be told, Harry had always had a place in his heart, ever since the very first moment he had seen him. Harry's relatives had to be deaf, blind and stupid if they didn't realize what a special child he was._

_With another wave of Remus' wand, the armchair was turned into a rocking chair and before Harry really knew what was happening, Remus had wrapped him tightly in a blanket and had placed him in his lap, leaning against Remus' chest._

_At first, Harry stiffened in Remus' arms, but as he took up his soft strokes along Harry's spine again and slowly began rocking him back and forth, Harry visibly relaxed._

_"You comfortable, pup?"___

_"Hmmhmm."___

_The reply was already sleepy, and Harry tiredly rubbed his face against Remus' shirt once again before his breathing evened out more and more. After a minute or two, he was back asleep again. Remus sighed and closed his eyes. He'd wait a couple of minutes, until he could be sure that Harry was sleeping soundly, then he'd put him back into bed and return to his own room, to get himself another couple of hours of sleep. Tightening his hold on Harry's small body, Remus leaned back in the rocking chair._

_Just a couple of minutes.___

_Richard arrived at Remus' house at half past eight, just like he and his son had agreed upon. The idea of a password-guarded fireplace and anti-apparition wards around Remus' house were still something he needed to get used to, but who was Richard to argue if this was about Harry's safety._

_And at the moment he could not have cared less about the annoyance of a five-minute walk to Remus' house, his mind was somewhere completely else._

_Today was already the third day of Harry's stay with Remus, and today Richard would finally get to see the child. From what Remus had told him via the fireplace on Saturday and yesterday, Harry slowly started to settle in. He was still shy and didn't talk much, but his son had sounded confident that this would vanish, given enough time._

_When Richard reached the front door, he knocked and waited for Remus to tell him to come in. He waited for maybe half a minute, then he knocked again. Still nothing. When Richard tried to door, he found it not locked. Well, Remus never really locked his door at night, Highley and the surrounding villages were not the sort of area where you needed to lock your door at night._

_Richard wasn't worried, but it was a little unusual for Remus not to answer the door. A grin threatened to spread across Richard's face. It had been a while since he had been around little children of Harry's age, but he already had an idea or two what could have caused his son to sleep in today._

_As quietly as he could, Richard closed the door behind himself and started climbing the stairs towards the upper floor where the bedrooms were. Had Remus been in one of the downstairs rooms, he'd surely have answered the door._

_Richard first checked Remus' bedroom, but though the bed had been used the night before it was now empty. With a grin on his face, Richard made his way down the corridor towards the room his son had prepared for Harry. His smile grew only wilder when he opened the door and looked at the scene before him._

_His younger son was sitting in a rocking chair, barefoot and wearing only a pair of pyjama pants and a t-shirt. Remus was still sleeping soundly, his head resting on the back-lean of the rocking chair. Remus' sandy brown hair was hanging into his eyes and his mouth was slightly open in his sleep. In his lap, wrapped tightly in a dark green blanket, was a small child that looked a lot younger than the two and a half years Harry was supposed to be old. The toddler had his head leaning against Remus' stomach, his hands buried in the shirt Remus was wearing. _

_Remus was holding Harry with his left arm, his right hand was preventing a stuffed animal from falling out of Harry's grip._

_Richard didn't make a sound, but leaned against the doorframe and silently watched the scene before him. If that was what Remus called Harry being shy, then he really wanted to see how those two would look like once the child had really settled in._

_For long moments, Richard relished the sight of Remus with Harry in his arms. _

_When Remus had been bitten by the werewolf, his life had changed drastically and many chances for his future had been obstructed. Some of the consequences had affected Remus immediately, like the horror of the transformations once a month, his unexpectedly heightened senses and the rejection he was suddenly facing by everybody who discovered his secret._

_But some consequences didn't hold a meaning for a five year old child, or a teenager in his first Hogwarts years, but did seriously affect an adult person. Like the strict prohibition for every part-human creature, werewolves included, to legally marry somebody or to have own children. Since he had been five years old, it had been clear that Remus would never be able to have a family of his own._

_Though Remus, in Richard's opinion, would make a wonderful father, he had never even contemplated the idea of having an own family. Remus had grown up in the knowledge that this was an obstacle he could not possibly overcome, so he hadn't wasted too many thoughts on it. _

_Richard hadn't, either. On the contrary, Richard had given up any hopes of having grandchildren one day completely. Remus was not allowed, and Janus…well, Janus was Janus. His older son was married with his work, and he had just enough time in his life for his ever-changing girlfriends who vanished as quickly as they came. No, some things would have to change drastically for Janus to ever make him a grandfather._

_And while Richard was looking at his younger son and the unexpected newest addition to their family, he couldn't help but think that Harry was the closest he'd ever come to having a grandchild. _

_Richard didn't envy Remus for what he'd still have to go through, like dragon-pocks, vomit at three in the night, temper tantrums, fights over stupid little things like bedtime, punishments for pranks, nightmares, problems with teachers, all those small things that made fatherhood such a pleasant experience._

_Richard crossed his arms in front of his chest. He'd been through that with both Janus and Remus, he had no desire to ever repeat that. Oh, being a father wasn't all pain and tears, of course. There were much more good things about it than bad ones, but Richard realized that suddenly he was in the perfect position of leaving the struggles of raising Harry and teaching him rules to his son. All the annoying and demanding stuff could be left to Remus while he could lean back and focus all his energy on spoiling the child. And spoil him he would. _

_He had the distinct feeling that this was going to be a lot of fun._

_Harry moved around in his sleep, pushing one of his hands into Remus' stomach in the process. Remus frowned his brow, though he remained fast asleep. Some moments later, Harry moved again, and this time his right foot found his way into the area around Remus' liver._

_Richard chuckled. Oh, the joy of sleeping close to a small child, he remembered it only too well. Children's knees and elbows seemed to be especially sharp in the age between two and nine._

_Suppressing another chuckle, Richard watched as his son woke up._

_When Remus opened his eyes again, he realized with quite a shock that the room was already filled with daylight. From what he guessed, it had to be somewhere around nine in the morning, maybe a little earlier._

_He hadn't meant to sleep that long, and he hadn't really meant to sleep in Harry's room at all._

_Harry._

_The movement of a small hand against his stomach made him look down. Harry was still lying in his lap, curled up against Remus, his small hands vanished somewhere in the folds of Remus t-shirt. He was still soundly asleep._

_As careful as he could, Remus smoothed strands of Harry's hair from out his eyes and placed a small kiss on the top of his head._

_Only when somebody cleared their throat to his left did Remus look up. His father was leaning in the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest and a huge smile on his face._

_"Good morning, Remus."_

_"'Morning, Dad._ How long have you been here?"__

_Richard Lupin shrugged._

_"Ten, maybe fifteen minutes._ The two of you were sleeping so soundly in that chair, I just couldn't bring myself to waking you up."__

_Richard looked at Remus and Harry for some long moments with a smile on his face before he stepped into the room and crouched down in front of the rocking chair._

_He could remember the time when Janus and Remus had been small only well enough to guess what kind of night Remus must have had._

_"Somebody here looks comfortable."_

_Remus snorted lowly._

_"He should be. After all, he isn't the one with a numb left arm."_

_The smile never left his face, and neither his father's._

_"I had never thought I'd see you like this one day."_

_Richard looked down at Harry, then up into his son's eyes._

_"You mean like that, with a child which I don't have to return once my babysitting time is over?"_

_Richard nodded. Remus looked down at Harry and unsuccessfully tried to smooth down his unruly hair._

_"Me neither, dad._ Me neither. Now, did you at least bring over some breakfast, or have you merely been enjoying me sitting here with numb limbs?"__

_Richard laughed._

_"Oh, I think there might be something edible down in the kitchen. Care to tell me how you ended up in this predicament?"_

_Remus sighed and shifted Harry's weight in his arms, careful so as not to wake the child._

_"Nightmare."__  
Richard nodded. He had thought as much already. He opened his mouth to reply, but at that moment Harry stirred in Remus' arms and a pair of bright green eyes looked at Richard curiously. Their talking, no matter how low they had kept their voices, seemed to have woken him up._

_"Good morning Harry."  
Harry stare at the stranger with wide eyes, then quickly turned his head back towards Remus, searching for assurance and explanations there. _

_Though Remus knew that Harry still wasn't entirely comfortable around him, his confusion and shyness upon Richard's presence showed him that the child at least considered him a little less as a stranger. He rubbed Harry's back in a soothing gesture._

_"Morning, pup._ Sleep well?"__

_Harry nodded and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands._

_"Harry, there is someone I want you to meet. Harry, this is my dad. Dad, this here is Harry."_

_Harry looked at Richard for a long moment, taking in his appearance with bright green eyes. Richard smiled down at him._

_"Hello, Harry. I'm Richard."_

_Harry quickly looked away and buried his face in Remus' shirt. Remus soothingly stroke his back, but he wasn't able to keep from chuckling into the direction of his father. Richard just shook his head and got up from his crouch. _

_"Well, I'll go downstairs and take care of the breakfast while you two make yourself ready, how about that?"_

_Remus nodded and got up, while Harry made absolutely no movement and gave no other indication that he might want to change his position in Remus' arms. Not able to keep the smile from his face, Remus made his way over towards the bathroom, the feeling slowly returning into his numb left arm._

_Twenty minutes later, Remus and Harry made their way down the stairs towards the kitchen. It had taken him a while to make Harry cooperate with brushing his teeth, something he didn't seem to be particularly keen on. If Remus remembered correctly, this was a trait a lot of small children shared._

_It had taken him only two days to realize that trying to smooth down Harry's hair was a more than just futile effort, so he pulled the comb twice through the unruly black mop and then let it be. After he had taken a shower himself, he had dressed Harry in a pair of dark blue trousers and a green t-shirt. He would need to go shopping with Harry soon, he had not bought as many clothes as the child would need beforehand to avoid having to change all of them in case they didn't fit. Shrinking or expanding clothes was not one of Remus' favourite magical activities, and he shuddered at the thought of doing it to a complete wardrobe of children's clothes. No, next week when Harry was settled a little more he'd take him on a round of shopping._

_On their way down the stairs they were greeted by the smell of fresh coffee from the direction of the kitchen. Remus shook his head. He'd never really understand his father's liking for that brew, Remus himself could not find anything in it. Maybe it was the last piece of Richard's silent protest against being completely naturalized in __England__. After all, by now he had accepted that everybody pronounced his name, be it first or last, as if it was of English origin, he had learned to live without most delicacies of the French cuisine, he accepted most of what the British called food and from time to time he even drank a beer instead of wine. _

_But there was one thing Richard Lupin would never give up, and that was drinking strong coffee with large amounts of milk. The thought already turned Remus' stomach, but he had long since given up trying to talk his father out of this. As long as nobody forced him to give up his English Breakfast Tea, he could live with nearly everything._

_Remus realized that Harry was a little hesitant to enter the kitchen, but whether this was because of Richard's presence or because of something the Dursleys had done, Remus could not tell. He still didn't know the child well enough to make sense of every behaviour Harry showed. He gently squeezed the child's shoulder and steered him into the room. _

_Richard was already sitting at the table, a large cup of coffee in front of him. A plate of toast stood in the middle of the table, next to some scrambled eggs and cereal. Also, Remus noticed with relief, there was a pot of tea standing next to his plate. _

_He helped Harry into the high chair on the front side of the table and poured him some juice and cereal with milk. Breakfast yesterday had been a smooth affair without any problems at all, but today Harry seemed reluctant to start eating. _

_Richard looked at the child, then at Remus and the younger wizard felt himself shrink under his father's gaze. The first time his father saw him together with Harry, and he looked like a failure. He couldn't even make Harry eat, not even mentioning the fact that Harry had not said one single word since they had gotten up. Harry had not been the most talkative child ever since he had taken him home, but today he was taking it to the extreme._

_Forcing a smile on his face, Remus turned towards the child._

_"Hey pup, what's wrong? Aren't you hungry?"_

_Harry just shrugged his shoulders and pulled his spoon through the cereal._

_"Do you rather want some toast?"_

_Harry shook his head, still not meeting Remus' eyes. _

_"Harry, please look at me."_

_Reluctantly, the child lifted his head and those unbelievable green eyes looked into Remus' own. _

_"Harry, what is wrong? Why are you so uncomfortable?"_

_Still the child didn't answer, but his eyes quickly darted to Richard and back again, almost unintentionally. Remus understood what this gesture meant, and judged from the grin on Richard's face he had, too._

_"Harry, you don't need to be uncomfortable around Dad, not at all. He's family, something like your grandpa."_

_Harry looked at Richard for a long time. Not for the first time Remus asked himself what might be going on in that small head. He didn't know whether Harry knew what a grandpa was, but he only hoped that the word was not marked with a negative association from his time with the Dursleys._

_Harry seemed to trust Remus, and hopefully Remus' word that Richard was alright was enough for the child to trust him, too. Or at least not to distrust him straight away. Harry wasn't comfortable in the presence of other people, that much Remus had already learned, but this was hopefully something that could be stopped in time._

_Besides, Remus knew he could not have kept his father away from Harry for much longer, and once the child was a little more comfortable around Richard, Janus was also eager to get to know the newest addition to their family. _

_Harry was still watching Richard curiously, but after some moments more he seemed to have come to a conclusion. He gave his newly acquired 'grandpa' a shy smile and then spooned some soggy cereal into his mouth. Richard chuckled and helped himself to some toast. _

_"It seems that I've passed the test."_

_Remus grinned and started his own breakfast, still not really knowing what he was supposed to think of his father's first meeting with Harry._

_The rest of breakfast passed without anything out of the unusual. Richard drank two other coffees, which made Remus' stomach jerk a little, and Harry finished his cereal except from the really soggy bits on the floor of his bowl, which Remus decided to let go through today._

_He helped Harry out of the high chair and the three of them went over into the living room, where Harry's presence already made itself noticed. The painting utensils from his room had been moved downstairs yesterday and now lay strewn all over the coffee table. _

_Remus had brought down some other toys and two or three books as well, but Harry still didn't seem to be comfortable with the idea of having many toys to play with, so he had ignored everything except from the crayons, some pieces of parchment and the colouring book._

_"Alright little one._ What would you like to do now?"__

_Harry looked up at Remus, who was holding his hand in his own, and frowned his small brow. His green eyes darted through the room, and finally they settled on the crayons that were still lying on the coffee table. Harry grinned._

_"Wanna paint!"_

_Remus laughed. _

_"You want to finish your picture from yesterday?"_

_Harry nodded enthusiastically.  
"Yes. May I?"_

_Remus smoothed his hand through Harry's hair._

_"You don't need to ask. Sure you're allowed to paint."_

_He let go off Harry's hand and the child immediately ran over to the coffee table and knelt down in front of it. He took up a blue crayon in a vise-like grip in his right hand and bit his tongue in concentration as he continued the picture he had started the day before._

_Remus smiled and sat back down on the kitchen table, turning his chair so that he could look into the living room and watch what Harry was doing. Remus looked at Harry for some long moments, a smile unconsciously playing around the corners of his lips, until he felt a hand on his shoulder._

_His father was looking at him intensely, and suddenly Remus felt very small again. He smiled at Richard somewhat apologetically._

_"We're still adjusting. He's shy, not the world's most talkative child."_

_Richard just smiled and squeezed Remus' shoulder._

_"I think you're holding up really good."_

_Remus turned and raised an eyebrow._

_"Good? He's hardly talking and he didn't even want to eat at first."_

_"Has eating been a problem yesterday?"_

_Remus shook his head.  
"No, not really."_

_"See? It surely was because of me."_

_Remus shook his head and leaned it heavily onto his hands._

_"I don't know Dad, I really don't know. It's…I just feel as if everything I do was wrong. And there are moments when I really don't know what to do. What do I know about small children and their needs, Dad?"_

_Richard laughed._

_"Just as much as I knew when Janus was born."  
"But you had Mum to help you. And Janus wasn't a two and a half year old who had been neglected by his only living relatives for the past year."_

_"Remus, you don't have to do this alone, I hope you know that. I know that Harry has been though a lot, and that it might not be easy to get him really settled so that he feels at home here. Nobody said it would be. _

_Remus, I might not be 'father of the year', but when you have a question, or don't know how to deal with something, just ask me, alright? I'll always listen and try to help."_

_Remus only shook his head._

_"I can't come running to you every time I don't know what to do."_

_"Why not?"___

_Remus looked up._

_"What do you mean, 'why not'?"_

_"Well, I mean 'why not'. Remus, nobody expects you to be the perfect father-figure from the very first moment on. You need to adjust to this nearly as much as Harry needs to. Don't think that everything that doesn't go smoothly is your fault, alright? You'll learn, and you have people who are willing to help Harry and you."_

_A smile started playing in Richard's face._

_"And from what I have seen this morning, you're already learning quite fast. I didn't exaggerate when I said Harry looked comfortable, sleeping where he was. And not only Harry."_

_Remus laughed._

_"Yeah, until I realized that my arm was completely numb."_

_Richard grinned mischievously._

_"Oh, the joys of parenthood._ Just wait until you have your first encounter with his elbows and knees, that will be fun. And now we should maybe get up and see what the little one is up to. Perhaps we can convince him to have a walk, we should use the weather as long as it's still good."__

_He got up from his chair and walked towards the door, but was soon stopped by a hand on his elbow. Remus smiled fondly a his father, then got up and gave him a long hug._

_"Thanks, Dad."_

_Richard patted his son's back._

_"You're perfectly welcome, Remus."_

_When they let go, Remus gave Richard a playful punch on the arm._

_"You know, I'd have voted for you, I think."  
Richard frowned his brow in confusion._

_"Voted? When? What?"_

_Remus walked back into the living room to look after Harry and called the answer over his shoulder._

_"That father of the year thing. If they had asked me, I'd have voted for you. You weren't that bad as a father, you know?"_

_Richard just shook his head and followed Remus out of the kitchen. Sometimes it was hard to imagine that those two lively little boys he had raised were adults old enough for children of their own by now. Merlin, he was getting old._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Remus didn't get the sleep Janus had promised him, at least not anytime soon. St. Mungo's was not the Hogwarts infirmary, and Dr. Waters and the nurses were not Madam Pomfrey with her extreme urge to grant her patients the rest they were supposed to have.

Though Janus had left the room in search of a nurse and some sleeping potion, he returned with neither. Instead, he had their father and Albus Dumbledore in tow. Richard Lupin had a slightly exasperated look in his eyes and the Hogwarts headmaster didn't look too happy, either.

Richard immediately hurried over to Remus' bedside and took him into a long embrace.

"Remus, we've been so worried about you."

He let him go and took a closer look at Remus' appearance. His red-rimmed eyes told clearly that he had been crying, but Richard decided not to comment on this right now. Janus had already told him that he had broke the news about Harry to Remus, and he had also told him that Remus had not taken it too well. He had not expected it any differently, but he had at least hoped to be there for Remus when it happened.

Richard sat down on one side of his bed and took Remus' hand into his own. Under any other circumstances, Remus would have felt childish at the thought of his father holding his hand, but at the moment he hardly realized it. 

Janus and Dumbledore sat down on the other side of Remus' bed and the next moments seemed to stretch endlessly. Finally, Dumbledore broke the silence.

"How are you feeling, Remus?"

Remus shrugged his shoulders.

"Alright. It's Harry I'm worried about."

Dumbledore nodded. 

"So am I, and I guess everybody else in this room. But I'm afraid that at the moment we only know that Harry is gone. We don't know who has done it, and neither do we know how it was done. The Ministry has been alerted and they have already been here to interrogate you. For today we have managed to convince them that you're in no shape to answer any questions, and before they return tomorrow I'd like to talk to you."

Remus nodded and bit his lip.

"Sure, Albus."

"Janus told me that your memory of the previous night is somewhat blurred. I need you to think very hard and try to remember what happened."

Again, Remus nodded and tried to sit up in his bed. He didn't manage it at first, but with a little assistance from Richard he was finally settled in a sitting position with his back against a pile of cushions.

"Albus, ever since Janus told me what happened I've been trying to remember. But I can't. It's all there, how Janus brought Harry into the store, how we went home, dinner, how I checked Harry's homework and then put him to bed. I remember that I went downstairs again because I wanted to get some work done, but then – nothing. I just don't remember a thing. No matter how hard I've tried, I just can't remember what happened when I came back down. I know that I wanted to make some tea, but I can't even remember whether I really did that or not."

Dumbledore watched Remus intensely for some moments, then he nodded. He pulled out Remus' case file from the holder on the foot end of the bed and leafed through it. Remus frowned his brow in confusion. Why was Dumbledore interested in the examinations he had gone through?

After some moments, Dumbledore closed the file and put it away again. 

"Tell me Remus, have you been examined on memory charms?"

"What?"  
"Has somebody examined whether a memory charm has been performed on you, or not?"

Remus looked at his former headmaster as if he had grown a second head, but she shook his head nevertheless.

"No, no I don't think so."

Dumbledore nodded.

"Alright. I'll ask your doctor to catch up on that one."

Remus still shook his head in disbelief.

"But what…Albus, why do you think…?"

"Because, Remus, everything looks like a memory charm to me. You haven't been hit on the head, and the use of Cruciatus isn't an explanation for the loss of your memory, either. It just strikes me as strange that you can't remember anything, and I'd like to rule out the possibility that somebody tampered with your memory.

Tell me, Remus, did you or Harry set off dungbombs in the house?"

Remus frowned his brow again.

"No. Surely not. I can't stand their smell, I think I haven't set one off since I've been fifteen. And Harry knew that, he wouldn't have done it, either. Why?"

"Because somebody set off dungbombs in your study."

Remus shook his head.

"But that doesn't make sense!"

Dumbledore slowly nodded.

"No, it doesn't. But somehow it has to make sense. Somehow it has to."

Silence settled over the room once more while each occupant got lost in his own search for an explanation. Finally, Janus pushed back his chair and got up.

"I'll go to the Ministry and see if I can find out anything. I just can't sit here and wait for an explanation to fall into my hands. I'll see you, Professor, Remus, Dad."

He nodded at the three other men and then quickly left the room. Richard looked somewhat puzzled at Remus, but the younger man just shrugged.

"I don't know what's up with him, either. But he's right, maybe he'll find out something."

Dumbledore nodded and got up.

"I'll see if I can find your doctor. I'd like to have that possibility of a memory charm examined before the Ministry comes back and involves themselves into the whole thing."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

"You don't understand, I have to tell them."

Janus was pacing his office as if he wanted to burn a hole into the carpet. Not that there was a carpet to burn holes into, but Lucas decided that it might be a better (and more healthy) idea not to utter this thought aloud at the moment. 

Janus Lupin was a walking powder-keg, and Lucas didn't want to be the one playing with fire while around him. His groin was finally pain-free again, there was simply no use in risking his private parts without reason.

"Janus, you can't tell them. You simply can't. That is the whole sense behind our department, you know? If we just go out and tell everybody what we're working on, then we can as well hire at the Auror Department."

Janus seized his pacing and spun around, slamming his fists onto Lucas' desk for emphasis.

"I know all that shit, Lucas. You can bet that I know it. But this isn't just any case we're working on, this is personal. If it were only for Black running free out there, I'd not do anything. But that maniac bloody broke into Remus' house! He cast a bloody Unforgivable at my younger brother for long enough to drive any human being insane! And as if that still wasn't enough he kidnapped Harry! Listen Lucas, this isn't just about Black and what he did six years ago anymore. This is about Harry, and I'll do anything I can to bring the little one back."

Lucas just sighed. Janus had held that particular speech for a couple of times already, though his use of the word 'bloody' had become more and more frequent during the past minutes. 

"Sit down, Janus. You're driving me mad with all that pacing. And if you took enough time to think calmly about it for just a minute, then you'd see reason. You can't tell them about the Azkaban raid."

Janus let himself fall into his chair and angrily kicked at the feet of his desk. How much he wished to break something right now.

"I wouldn't need to tell them about what happened in Azkaban. I'd just tell them that Black has escaped."

Lucas shook his head. He was that close to lose the last bit of patience he still had with Janus. His partner's stubbornness had been amusing and also helpful a couple of times in the past, but at the moment it was just driving him mad. 

"And of course nobody would ask any questions as to why a high security prisoner was able to escape from Azkaban, when none of the less guarded prisoners has ever managed to do that. 

For fuck's sake Janus, be reasonable for once in your life. If you'd tell them about Black, that would just lead to more questions. And in the end you'd have to tell them everything anyway."

"And pray, what would you suggest me to do?"

Lucas folded his hands behind his head and leaned back in his chair. He watched Janus for some long moments, until he was sure that the other man had calmed a little.

"Wait, Janus."

"WAIT???"

Janus was on his feet within fragments of a second and resumed his pacing again. If he had been angry before, then he was downright irate after Lucas' suggestion.

"Wait? You don't seriously expect me to wait? Lucas, are you mad?

This is Harry we're talking about, in case you have forgotten. Harry. Remember? Black hair, green eyes, cute little kid? That madman Black has taken Harry Merlin knows where, and you tell me to wait? This is Remus' godson we're talking about. I happen to love that kid, alright? You really expect me to wait? I don't want to imagine what might happen to him while we sit back and wait, what already might have happened to him."  
Lucas massaged his temples in an attempt to force back the headache that was starting to spread through his skull.

"There is a reason why nobody of us is supposed to participate in investigations that concern family members, and that's just it. You've lost your objectivity, Janus."

"Objectivity?"

Now Janus was fuming.

"Fuck objectivity, Lucas! Do you know where to put objectivity? I'll tell you, you can push it up your a…"

Lucas raised his hands.

"Alright, alright, I get the picture. Just listen to me, okay? Just listen for a moment."

Janus crossed his arms across his chest and leaned against the wall. His raised eyebrow was the only indication that he was willing to listen. Lucas sighed.

"Let's just assume that you tell them about Black's escape from Azkaban. They'll ask how he managed to do it, and possibly you even tell them about the raid. Your father, your brother and Professor Dumbledore will make up their minds about the whole thing and come to the same conclusion that we have. That Black has kidnapped Harry. And then?"  
Janus looked up.

"What then?"

"Exactly my question, Janus. What then? If they know that Black has taken the kid then we're not in a different situation than we are now. Your brother will get an ulcer and a guilt complex because his old school friend has kidnapped Harry, your father will get angry and Dumbledore will get this sad, pitiful look in his eyes. But matter of fact is that this won't help us any. Whether they know about Black or not won't help just a little in searching Harry. Not. At. All. The only thing that'll be different is that you'll be in a damn lot of problems if somebody with a say in the department finds out about that."

Janus kicked violently against the flower-pot that was standing next to the window, sending his favourite cactus flying towards the far-off wall.

"You don't understand me, Lucas. I had a bad feeling about this right from the start. Not telling Remus about Black being on the loose felt wrong right from the start. Remus knows him, if I had told him about it he might have known what Black's next move had been."

He shook his head and grabbed his coat from the hook. 

"I'm sorry if you don't understand it, but I have to tell Remus about it."

He turned towards the door, and Lucas immediately jumped to his feet. He hurried over towards his partner and grabbed his arm, holding him a little more tight than it would have been comfortable.

"You can't tell them about what happened in Azkaban, Janus."

His voice was low, nearly a hiss, and held a somewhat menacing quality in it. Janus looked him straight in the eye.

"What can you do to stop me? Nothing, Lucas, that's what you can do. Nothing. Now let go off my arm."

They stared at each other for some long moments, but then Lucas slowly loosened his grip on Janus' arm. The other man immediately opened up the door and left their office. Lucas closed his eyes, his jaw tightening painfully and he kicked the door shut behind Janus with all his might.

"Fine! Go and tell them, you'll see what good it does!"

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

One and a half hours after the nurses had taken Remus from his room to undergo further examinations, he was returned to his room and the nurse told Richard and Dumbledore that Dr. Waters would arrive soon with the results. 

Remus looked a little worse for wear. It was never a pleasant feeling to have another wizard examining one's mind in search of a memory charm, but he'd recover quite quickly from it. 

They didn't have to wait long for Dr. Waters to arrive. The elderly medi-wizard entered the room, nodded at Richard and Dumbledore in silent greeting and immediately pulled out a sheet of parchment from the folder in his hands.

"Mister Lupin, Professor, I don't know what gave you the idea that somebody placed a memory charm on Remus." He took a deep breath. "But it seems that whatever reasons you had, you were right about it."

Dumbledore looked up. 

"Somebody obliviated him?"

Waters nodded.

"Yes. And whoever it was, they did a very good job with it. It's a strong charm, too strong for us to break it. And it just affects the last two to three hours before he was attacked. It seems that the ones who attacked Remus had given quite some thought to the way they wanted to hide it."

Richard sighed.

"You can't break through the memory charm?"

Waters shook his head.

"No, I've had one of our mind-specialists examine it. Usually, with unprofessionally executed memory charms there is a starting point from which it can be broken. Something like a lose thread from which it can be unravelled. The better a memory charm is performed, the more difficult is it to find that lose thread. In Remus' case we didn't find any lose threads at all."

The three men looked at the doctor, trying to process what they had just heard. It was Richard who broke the silence.

"So you want to tell us that there is nothing you can do about it. You can't break that memory charm."

Waters nodded.

"I'm sorry, but there is nothing we can do. If our mind-specialists don't find a way to break the charm, I don't know anybody who could."

Dumbledore nodded at Waters.

"Thank you, doctor."

"I'll be back tomorrow to check on you, Remus. Good evening, gentlemen."

Dr. Waters picked up Remus' file again and left the room.

The three men remained silent for a while. There was nothing left to say, really. Somebody had tempered with Remus' memory, obviously in an attempt to prevent him from remembering who had carried out the attack and had abducted Harry. And if they didn't find either a way to break the charm, which didn't seem to exist, or another hint that would expose the identity of the attacker, there was no starting point in the search for Harry. By now, the child could have been taken anywhere, and anything could have already happened.

Nobody said it out loud, but they all were afraid that it was already too late.

Just as Dumbledore was about to get up and leave, the door to Remus' room opened up and Janus appeared. Richard immediately realized that something was not right. His son was pale, he looked as if he had just seen a ghost. His jaw was set and his face determined, but Richard knew his son well enough to tell that it didn't take much more for him to start shaking. And if there was something that worried Richard, it was this.

Richard immediately got to his feet.

"Janus? What's wrong?"

Janus bit his lower lip and slowly came closer, leaning against the empty bed that had been placed next to Remus'.

"Any news?"

Richard shook his head.

"Janus, what is wrong?"

Janus raised his hand.

"Please, just answer my question."

Dumbledore eyes the older Lupin son attentively, even suspiciously. It was he who answered the question.

"Somebody obliviated Remus, and did so very professionally. We can't break the charm and make Remus remember the attack."

Janus sighed and seemed to slump down.

"Janus, I know that there is something bothering you. What is it? Do you have any news?"

Janus shook his head.

"No. No, I don't have any news. But…but there is something I need to tell you. Something I should have told you a couple of days ago already."

"What?"  
Janus sighed deeply and gripped the foot-board of the bed with a vise-like grip.

"This isn't going to be easy."

"Janus."  
"Okay, okay. We think we know who is responsible for the attack and for the abduction."

Remus sat bolt upright in his bed immediately, and both Richard and Dumbledore straightened in their chairs. Remus was the first to re-gain his speech.

"What? Why didn't you tell us earlier? Who?"

Janus rubbed his hand across his face and prayed that this was already over.

"I can't tell you how it happened, so please don't ask. Just believe me that it happened. And it all fits."

Remus was getting impatient.

"Janus, for fuck's sake just say what you have to say!"

Janus leaned his head back and closed his eyes. After another deep breath, he looked at the three men in front of him, his eyes finally settling on Dumbledore.

"Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban."

"WHAT?"  
Before anybody could react, Remus had jumped out of his bed and had his brother roughly pinned up against the wall, his hand gripping the collar of the other's robes. He didn't care that he was smaller and scrawnier than Janus, and his older brother seemed too surprised to use those advantages.

"For how long? How long have you known that? You stupid, bloody idiot, do you know what you have done? That is the reason for the additional wards, the reason why you've 'dropped by' so often, isn't it? You've bloody well known this since a couple of days already, isn't it so? And you didn't tell me because your fucking job and its fucking rules are so much more important than your own family! 

Do you know that all this wouldn't have happened if you had told me? Harry would still be here, safe with us, if you had only for once thought about your family first! I could have protected the house against Sirius, I could have made sure he couldn't come into the house. But no, you didn't tell me! I thought he was still in prison, I thought it wouldn't be necessary to protect the house against him. And now look what you've done!"

Remus slammed Janus roughly against the wall and did only stop when his father pulled him away. The look he gave him was one of pure bewilderment.

He gently pulled Remus back towards the bed and forced him to sit down. Dumbledore had watched the whole scene with surprise, but something in his face looked as if he already knew what this was all about. He turned his bespectacled blue eyes on his former pupil.

"While I agree that your brother has kept a very important piece of information from you and all of us, I don't quite see what the difference would be. There wouldn't have been anything we could have done differently. The wards around your house should have been enough to keep anybody away, Sirius Black or somebody else."

Remus shook his head and wearily rubbed his eyes with his palms.

"No, those wards wouldn't have kept Sirius away. Not him."

Richard looked astonished. 

"Why not?"

Remus breathed deeply, then looked up into Dumbledore's eyes.

"Sirius Black is an illegal animagus."


	12. Falling Apart

Okay folks, I know I've kept you waiting for quite some time with this. This had several reasons, and I hope you forgive me. 

I've moved into another flat and had to get everything arranged there, then I took a little holiday a couple of weeks ago (and this has been the last holiday for this year…*sigh* - But I've seen Iron Maiden, Metallica and Placebo live!), and most of my free writing time went into Morgan D.'s challenge.

By the way, my response to her challenge, Pack Issues, the nice little fic that suddenly grew longer than The Last Marauder won't be up here on my profile (at least not till I know what happens in OoP), but only on Morgan D.'s Hogwarts Letters Site. If you want to read it (about which I'd be more than glad) then you can find the link on my profile page.

Well, and when I had the challenge finished I found it a bit harder to get back to writing this story here, so it took a tad bit longer to get this out.

Thus said, I think I stop boring you with news about my life.

This is the last chapter before the release of OoP (duh!), but I guess the book won't be lasting long for me so I should be back with a new chapter within a fortnight. Posting patterns are hopefully back to normal from now on.

Thanks to everybody who stuck with me so far, despite all my delays and non-posts. I haven't abandoned the story, and from now on it should become better. No personal A/N this time, I'll try to cover them next chapter.

So all that's left for me to say is:

Enjoy!

**Falling Apart**

An eerie silence settled over the hospital room after Remus' soft spoken words.

Richard looked dumbfounded at the revelation, still trying to process the fact that the man who had caused his younger son so much pain and grief six years ago had done the unthinkable and broken out of Azkaban.

Janus looked equally baffled, but the professional part of his brain was already beginning to interweave this new piece of information into the ever-increasing puzzle he had been dealing with for the past weeks.

Dumbledore had an unreadable expression on his face, even to those who had gotten to know him better during the past years. Remus blushed, his earlier anger all but forgotten at the reaction his confession had provoked, and stared at his bare feet that were dangling over the edge of the bed. He didn't dare to look up into his old mentor's face now that he had confessed his one big treason against the man who had removed so many obstacles for him in the past. Remus knew Dumbledore well enough by now to be sure that it wouldn't take him longer to figure out the circumstances that had led to Sirius becoming an animagus.

But he also knew that this would not free him from the duty of an explanation, for Dumbledore as well as for his father and brother. Time for tabula rasa.

"What?"

Janus was the first to gain speech again, though he clearly wasn't back on the peak of his eloquence yet.

"Fuck…but how? Why? And how come you know?"

He was getting better at it, though he was still gasping like a fish out of water in between the sentences. Not that Remus really cared, he was still angry enough to pound at Janus if he only had the physical strength to do so.

Remus was slightly startled when he felt a hand on his arm and upon looking up from the floor found that Richard had gotten up from his chair and now stood by his side, one of his hands gently resting on Remus' arm.

"How about we get you settled back to bed completely before we do anything else? You look ready to collapse again."

Remus only nodded and allowed himself to be pushed back fully onto the bed, back into the sitting position he had been in earlier. He was glad for the interruption and the chance to gather his thoughts, but this didn't buy him nearly as much time as he would have liked.

Dumbledore turned slightly in his chair so that he was facing Remus again, and Richard took up position on the other side of Remus' bed. Only Janus remained standing, his shoulder leaning against the wall so that he was looking straight at Remus. Richard gestured for him to sit down as well, but Janus ignored his father.

Even when Richard glared at him in a patronizing manner that would have extremely annoyed both adult Lupin sons under normal circumstances, Janus only crossed his arms in front of his chest defiantly and glared back at his father.

Dumbledore interrupted the tense silence that once more had begun to settle over Remus' hospital room.

"It seems that both of you", he glanced from Remus to Janus and back again, "have something of interest and importance to share with us. If you don't mind, Remus, I'd really like to know how Mr. Black managed to become an animagus without anybody else noticing, and especially how come that you obviously did know it."

Remus sighed and closed his eyes tightly, willing down all the unwelcome emotions that threatened to resurface again. Lying here in the hospital bed because he was hardly able to hold himself upright for more than ten minutes was already embarrassing enough, especially with his family and Professor Dumbledore present, he didn't need to add an emotional outbreak to his current list of humiliations. 

But somehow he had the feeling that he had already lost that fight.

After a moment, when he was half sure that he would at least not burst into tears straight away, he opened his eyes again and looked at the three men in the room, finally settling his gaze on his father. It would be more easy if he looked at Richard while telling the story.

"There's not really that much to tell. James, Peter and...Sirius", Remus swallowed heavily and tried to will down the huge spectre of emotions that was running amok inside of him right now, "they found out about me being a werewolf in my first year already, after Easter."

Remus still looked straight into his father's eyes and saw Richard nod. This was no secret, Richard as well as Janus and Dumbledore had known that Remus' lycanthropy had not remained a secret from his close friends. Nobody had been happier than Richard that Remus seemed to have found some friends who really stuck to him, no matter what. Remus ran a hand through his hair and continued.

"It was a lot easier afterwards. I didn't have to lie to them anymore, that had been the hardest thing. Now they knew where I went once a month and Merlin only knows why, but they didn't turn their backs on me. They wanted to stay my friends and they wanted to help me wherever they could. They took care that nobody else realized what was wrong with me, they backed up my excuses, took care that I received my homework and my assignments when I was in the hospital wing, heck sometimes they took their playing nursemaids so seriously that it was downright annoying. But they knew that they couldn't help me when it came to the actual transformations. They couldn't be with me then, I'd have hurt or killed them and they all knew that. Not as humans."

Remus tiredly pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. 

"They didn't tell me about it. I guess they knew that I'd have done everything in my power to stop them had I known what they were working on, but I just didn't realize. They did all their researches and preparations at times around the full moon or when I was working on other assignments, or sometimes in the dead of the night. For three whole years they kept it a secret. A small miracle as such, James and Sirius were always too excited about their schemes to keep them secret from Peter or me, and Peter usually blurted things out by accident. But not this one, that they were quite careful with. I didn't realize anything amiss. And then, at the beginning of our fifth year, they showed me what they had been working on. James, Peter and Sirius had become animagi so that they could be with me during my transformations."

Remus looked at his hands and gave that information a couple of moments to sink in. Quite surprised he realized that his father had taken one of his hands in his own and even now was making no movement to let go. But even despite this physical reassurance, Remus didn't dare look up into his or Dumbledore's face to confront their reactions. 

"That's been bloody illegal!"

Janus. Who else would point out this as the first reaction to his story. Remus shook his head and met his brother's eyes, trying to hide how bad he was really doing at the moment. Instead he shot his brother a pointed glare, trying to put as much loathing in it as he could. Remus had not forgotten that Janus had kept Sirius' escape a secret from him. If his stupid brother would have for once just seen his family as his priority then they wouldn't be in this situation right now. Then Harry could still be safe.

"Of course that's been illegal, Janus. Thanks for pointing it out. What should I have done? Pressed charges against them?"  
Janus just waved him off and tried to remain looking dignified. Well, if he wanted to pout because his little brother had been involved in the breaking of the law, Remus could not help him. Merlin knew there were more important things to think about at the moment.

"What forms did they adopt?"

Dumbledore. That was it, now Remus had to face it. He had betrayed the old wizard's trust for so many years, and now that he was already in enough trouble as it was because he had been stupid enough to let Harry get kidnapped, now Remus also had to confront Dumbledore with the extend of his betrayal. But if he already did that, he'd look into Dumbledore's eyes while doing so.

Slowly, Remus raised his head again and shifted his gaze over to the old headmaster. Dumbledore was sitting in his hospital chair, his eyes turned onto Remus. There was no emotion which Remus was able to read in those pale blue orbs behind the half-moon spectacles, but Remus knew Dumbledore well enough to know that he was able to hide what he was thinking and feeling very well.

"James was a stag. Peter was a rat, small enough to escape the branches of the Whomping Willow and to open the passage for the others. And Sirius was...Sirius is a big black dog. Huge, with shaggy fur and pale blue eyes. Looks a lot like the grim, actually."

This said, Remus felt most of the tension leave his body and fell backwards into his pillows. He had said what he needed to say for the moment, everything else would be saved until he and Dumbledore were alone. That was, in case Dumbledore still wanted to hear anything Remus had to say. Remus would not be too surprised if it was not like that at all. But at the moment he really didn't want to think about that. He didn't have the strength or will to worry about Dumbledore's reaction at the moment. Harry was out there and if Sirius had him...Remus didn't want to think about it. Sirius had betrayed his best friend to Voldemort, heck he had even delivered Harry into that madman's clutches once already, he would not care a bit about the boy's wellbeing. It could already be too late while he was lying here in St. Mungo's, worrying about Albus Dumbledore's opinion of him. It had been – Remus quickly did some maths – something around sixteen hours since Harry had been abducted. Give or take two or three hours. It could already be too late. That thought ached more than anything Remus had felt during the past years. Ever since Harry had come to live with him he had not felt that sad and terrified anymore. Without Remus being aware of it, he had not only granted Harry a place in his life and in his heart, but he had allowed the child to become the one single most important thing in his entire life. The thought that something had happened to him, that he might even be dead, slammed into Remus' awareness like an iron fist. Breathing became more and more difficult, and though he tried to, all the air seemed to have vanished from the room.

"Remus?"

Remus tried to turn his head into the direction of his father's voice, but the only effect was that the room started to spin and that he felt very light-headed all of a sudden. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to will down his nausea and vertigo. The voices around him suddenly became hectic and confusing, though Remus heard the words he could not make any sense of them or react to them.

"Remus? Remus, what's wrong?"

"He's hyperventilating."

"Janus, call a doctor. Hurry!"

"Remus? Can you hear me? Say something, please. Remus!"  
"What is happening here? Please leave the room everybody, I need to look after my patient."

"Dr. Waters, I will definitely not leave my son alone now."

"Then move aside and don't stand in our way. Mr. Lupin, can you hear me?"  
Remus thought that after this question (had the doctor been talking to him or to his father?) somebody slapped him on the cheeks twice or so, but it could as well have only been his imagination. Things were everything but clear for him at that moment. He did realize that somebody forced a potion down his throat, but then everything went black as consciousness fled.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Harry jumped in surprise as he heard steps on the corridor, nearing the room he was being held in. Ever since he had woken up, he had been alone and not seen a living soul. Also, Harry didn't really know for how long he had been in that cold room with its clammy stone walls and floor and nothing for company except from his stuffed lion. It was still light outside, though it seemed to be getting darker, but for a seven year old, terrified child this was not really something he could use as a source of information. 

Harry's first thought was that it was Remus, coming to bring him home and he nearly jumped to his feet and called out to his godfather right then. But if that was Remus coming down the corridor, he'd have surely called out for him by now, wouldn't he? Harry didn't know why, but instead of running to the door he climbed back onto his cot and pulled his knees up to his chest.

And if it wasn't Remus who was coming for him? What if it was someone else, someone bad? Like the bad men he had seen in his dreams? They had made the other people in his dream scream in pain, just like the man who had taken him had done to his godfather.

Harry pressed Rory tightly against his chest.

Maybe those steps weren't heading for his room at all. Maybe whoever was walking down the corridor would not stop in front of his door, but walk by and leave him alone. Remus would surely come for him soon, all Harry had to do was wait and hope he'd be left alone until then.

The steps were right in front of his door now, and Harry's breathing hitched and his hands started to tremble as the person on the other side of the door stopped. Right in front of Harry's door. There was a clinking sound, and then the door on its rusty hinges swung inwards, slowly. The figure of a man appeared in the doorway, dark and threatening against the light that came from the corridor. Harry could not say for sure whether this had been the man who had taken him away from his home last night, he looked somewhat like him, but Harry wasn't sure.

The man made a step towards Harry's cot. The trembling child did his best to skid away from him, but there wasn't very much room for Harry to skid into, and the man was blocking the only way to the door.

The man stopped directly in front of the frightened child who was huddled in the corner of the cot and looked down at Harry with a smirk on his face. 

"Get up!"

Harry flinched at the barked out command, but didn't move. Even if he had wanted to, his legs were trembling so hard that Harry could not have moved them.

"I said get up!"

Harry bit his lower lip and slowly shook his head. He couldn't, didn't the man realize that? 

When the man spoke again, his voice was low, but filled with a fierce venomous quality that sent shivers down Harry's spine. Never in his entire life would he forget that voice.

"Are you deaf or just too stubborn for your own good? Come with me now or you'll regret it. Do you understand? Now, get up!"

Again, Harry shook his head. By now, his whole body was trembling, but he just couldn't do what the man said. For one, Remus had told him over and over again never to go with strangers, no matter what they told him. But, even more important, his body just wouldn't obey. All that his arms and legs did was shivering violently, and heart was pounding so fast that Harry thought the man had to hear it, too. 

Harry didn't know what reaction to expect from the man, but it definitely had not been the sudden blow that threw his head to the side and knocked his nose quite painfully against the stone wall. His glasses slid down from his left ear, and where the man's hand had hit his cheek Harry's face felt as if it was burning.

Never, never in his entire time with him had Remus slapped Harry. Not even when Harry had made him really angry, like when he had tried to read the cursed book in the store. Remus had gotten mad with him sometimes, and he had even shouted at him a then, but he had never hit him. And neither had his grandpa or his aunt Serena and uncle Janus. 

Eyes wide open, Harry stared at the stranger. His left hand was holding his aching cheek and there were tears running down his face. Suddenly, hands roughly gripped for the collar of his jumper and pulled Harry up to his feet, dragging him towards the door. Harry did the only thing he could think of and struggled against the man's hold as much as he could. But to no avail. The stranger was twice his size and much, much stronger, for him was the child's struggle just a minor annoyance. 

Not really knowing why, Harry began to scream for help, for the only person who could make everything better.

"Remus!"

"Shut up!"

"Remus!"

Suddenly, the man crouched down until he was at eye-level with Harry, pulling him so close that their noses were nearly touching. His eyes, icy blue or cold grey in the dim light, bore into Harry with such a force that his crying started anew.

"Now listen to me, you little nuisance. If you hope for your precious _Remus", he spat the last word out with disgust "to come for you then you are badly mistaken. The werewolf is lucky if he's still alive, and even if he survived he'll never find you here. So shut up and come with me, or I'll have to hurt you as well."  
The man got up from his crouch again and without another word continued to drag Harry across an uncomfortably dark corridor. Harry didn't struggle anymore against his hold, too scared that the man would hit him again and too occupied to process what he had just heard. Remus wouldn't come? Remus couldn't come because he was hurt? But Remus had to come for him, or how else was Harry supposed to get back home? And there was nothing Harry wanted more at the moment than being home again, safe in his godfather's arms. _

Harry wanted to grip for Rory, seeking at least a little comfort in the presence of Remus' present and with a tremendous shock he realized that he didn't have his stuffed animal anymore. He had lost his beloved stuffed lion, back in the room he had been in earlier.

Now Harry really was alone. And Remus wouldn't come for him.

The man dragged Harry down another corridor.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_Remus realized with quite some glee that Janus was nervous. His big brother, usually the incarnation of calm and ordered behaviour was nervous because of a two and a half year old child. And knowing that Harry's presence would keep Janus from making any rude comments – or at least hoping it would – Remus did nothing to hide how much this amused him._

_Truth be told, Remus himself had been nervous as hell around Harry as well, during the first two or three days, but by now Harry was living with him for nearly two months and Janus still hadn't gotten used to it. _

_Remus' older brother had seen Harry for the first time slightly less than a week after Harry had arrived. Back then, Remus had understood that Janus was nervous. Both of them were not very experienced when it came to handling small children, Janus even less than Remus. And back then, Harry had been wary around Janus, just like he had been around Richard. But, even though Harry still wasn't the world's most active and talkative child, things had improved when he was around Richard and especially when he was around Remus. Remus, Richard and Janus were the three people Harry's world consisted of at the moment, with the slight problem that one third of this world was trying to stay away from him as far as possible. Janus was avoiding any confrontation with the toddler, just as if the child carried a contagious disease. And Janus really wondered why Harry still did behave as if Remus' brother was a stranger?_

_At the moment, Harry was contently kneeling in front of the low sofa-table, playing with his miniature-magical-creature-set, one of the many parts of the 'Richard Lupin spoils his newly acquired grandchild' campaign. And his father really thought Remus would not realize what this was all about, Remus thought with a bemused smile._

_From the kitchen Remus could see Harry chasing the unicorn across the table, while the dragon (Richard had tried to teach Harry that it was a Common Welsh Green, but the child had not been particularly interested in that piece of information) was flying around Harry's head._

_Remus smiled, then looked up at his brother. Janus was sitting on the other side of the kitchen table, eying Harry warily and ready to jump up and pretend being busy as soon as Harry would make only a move towards the kitchen._

_"He doesn't bite, you know?"  
Janus raised an eyebrow._

_"I wouldn't be too sure. Oscar Delaines' two year old nephew bit him in the calf last Christmas. Got a nice little infection from it. You can't even imagine what kind of germs those little kids have in their mouths. No surprise, actually, not if they're trying to eat literally anything that crosses their way and isn't fast enough to escape."_

_Remus laughed._

_"Janus, Harry is two and a half. He's a little kid, not a monster. You're bigger than him, stronger and a lot faster. It's ridiculous that you're scared of him."_

_"I'm not scared!" Janus rose himself to full height on his chair. "I just don't know what to do with him. It's been quite some time since I've been his age, you know? How am I supposed to know what to do?"  
"Really. There's no manual for handling little children, I knew just as much as you do when he arrived here. And if I had behaved like you, it would have stayed like that. It's not that difficult, Janus. Harry likes to paint, or to play around with those blasted charmed animals dad saw the need to give him. Though I'd be thankful if you could take him outside for a moment so that I can chase them together and lock them back in their box again. I'm fed up with stepping on miniature fire-scorpions first thing in the morning. Barefoot. _

_Childproof or not, I'll have a word with dad about his spoiling attempts. He could at least be a little more subtle with it. Janus, are you listening to me?"  
Janus was staring at Remus with a completely thunderstruck expression on his face, not having heard the last part of Remus' little speech at all._

_"You want me to take the child into the garden? Now? Alone?"_

_Remus laughed out loud._

_"I'd be thankful if you would take him away from the animals for a moment, yes. Out in the garden, Janus, I didn't ask you to take him home and baby-sit him for a week, just to watch him in the garden for twenty minutes or so. I'll be close enough for you to call me. I'll fetch his jacket and shoes and he'll be out there on his own in no time. All you have to do is walk with him and watch that nothing happens. Come on Janus, it's not that difficult."_

_"But...what if he starts talking, or asking questions? I don't understand this udu-ada-baby-syllable language."  
"Harry is capable of speaking quite clearly, you know?"_

_Janus sighed._

_"And if he starts crying?"_

_Remus shrugged confusedly._

_"Why should he start crying all of a sudden? He won't, Janus. Harry is a very silent child. And in case he really falls and gets a scratched knee or something like that, just...just give him a hug, or do the old 'shall I blow it better' parenting number. Just act on instinct once, but please try and get to know him. I don't want you to be wary around Harry until he's old enough to graduate. Please?"_

_And before Janus had the time to protest, Remus was already on his way into the living room, Harry's outdoor-clothing in his hand and a smug and superior grin on his face. Janus sighed and got up. He'd go out there with Harry if Remus forced him to, but if the child started crying, or only showed a trembling bottom lip, then he'd call Remus out to calm him. No doubt Harry was a cute child, but cute or not he was a child. And that was the one group of humans Janus Lupin just didn't mix with._

_Remus came to a halt in front of where Harry was crouching, and when the child looked up and saw the jacket and the shoes his godfather was carrying his green eyes lightened up._

_"Outside?"__  
Remus nodded._

_"Yes Harry. How about you go and play outside for half an hour or so? Together with Uncle Janus?"_

_The enthusiasm in Harry's expression immediately died away when he heard just whom should accompany him outdoors and he eyed Janus with as much childish wariness as he could muster. But as it was his upbringing, Harry didn't complain or contradict, he merely showed a lot less enthusiasm when Remus put his warmer clothing on him._

_Janus himself was not faring a lot better. Inwardly, he had already planned on how to spend the twenty minutes Remus had been talking about without getting involved in a major catastrophe like the ones only small children could produce, and now his little brother was already talking about 'half an hour or so'. How on Earth was he supposed to spend half an hour with a small child about whom he knew next to nothing?_

_And it wasn't as if he could just start up a conversation with the child. Though it was a funny idea. 'Hey Harry, what do you think about the Dragons this season? Don't you agree that buying the Russian chaser has increased their chances to win the cup this year?' _

_The kid probably didn't even know what Quidditch was, and from everything Remus had said Harry didn't know that much about the magical world in general. Which meant that most of Janus' conversation potential was ruled out._

_With a start Janus realized that Remus had finished tying Harry's shoes and that the child was standing near the back door, completely equipped with a scarf, gloves and woollen cap, eying him expectantly. As did Remus, who was standing next to Harry, one hand protectively on the child's shoulder. Janus quickly grabbed his jacket and scarf from the nearby armchair and went over towards the two._

_He gave Harry what he hoped was an encouraging smile, but this only led to Harry clinging closer to Remus' trouser leg. Remus smiled and gently steered Harry towards the backdoor. _

_"Have fun, pup. Why don't you show your Uncle Janus the rabbit burrow we found last week?"_

_Harry nodded, though it was still obvious that he wasn't all too excited about the idea of spending time with Remus' brother. The child reluctantly walked out of the back door and Janus followed suit. As he passed his grinning brother, he decided a little glare would be in order._

_"Uncle Janus?" he hissed, still not completely believing what he had just heard. Remus just shrugged and grinned some more._

_"Don't let him get his clothes all too muddy if possible, after the rain yesterday the ground must still be soaked. And if he gets too cold, just bring him back in, all right?"_

_Janus just shook his head and went outside where Harry was standing and obediently waiting for Janus to join him. Pulling himself together, Janus went over towards the child and stretched out his hand. Reluctantly, Harry took it._

_"All right Harry, do you want to show me the rabbits?"  
Harry just shrugged, but started walking towards the small forest nearby._

_Harry indeed showed Janus the rabbit burrow he and Remus had discovered a week earlier. What the child didn't know was that the rain from the day before had literally soaked the forest floor around it and formed a huge poodle of mud. Janus was watching out that Harry didn't stumble and fall and while doing so didn't pay enough attention to his own footing. Janus didn't see the root sticking out in his way and stumbled straight over it. Luckily, Janus let go off Harry's hand before he fell into the mud, so that he at least didn't pull the child with him._

_The next thing Janus realized was that he was sitting on the forest floor, covered in mud and ice-cold water from head to toe. Harry was standing near the poodle of mud, staring open mouthed at Janus with what could only be described as plain panic on his face. That probably shocked Janus most._

_He couldn't remember being at Harry's age very well, but Janus was convinced that if his father or any other adult had been clumsy enough to stumble and bathe himself in mud, he would have surely laughed his head off, not stared at him as if he feared to be blamed for his mishap any moment._

_Janus imagined what he had to look like, all dignity and composure completely forgotten, mud dribbling from his hair across his face and down his clothes (not to mention under his clothes as well), and he just couldn't help it. He started to laugh, loud and long, about what he had to look like and what Remus would say once he got to know about this._

_Harry stared at him as if he had lost his mind, but after a short moment of hesitation a slight smile spread across his face._

_"Oh, you think this is funny, don't you?"  
At first, Harry immediately stopped laughing. He shouldn't have started at all, he should have known that he'd get into problems for it. But then he saw the enormous grin on Janus' face and relaxed a bit. His Uncle Vernon would not have grinned like that if he had been about to scold and punish Harry, and the child only hoped that this would be the same with Janus. Remus had said it was okay for him to go play with Janus, and Remus hadn't lied to him so far._

_Harry was about to find out during the next minutes that rabbit holes were quite uninteresting if there was a huge poodle of mud nearby, that Janus didn't particularly mind if somebody laughed when he fell into aforementioned poodle, but that he also didn't like being the only one who was all wet and dirty. _

_Within moments, Janus and Harry had started a nice little mud-battle, and after ten minutes the only way to tell the difference between them was looking at their height. Janus, much to his delight, also found out that Harry was extremely ticklish and that he had a very contagious laugh. _

_Baby-sitting wasn't all that difficult, Janus decided. Okay, maybe next time he'd have to look for a way to spend the time without getting the child all dirty because otherwise Remus would get an ulcer, but so far being around the child wasn't half as bad as Janus had expected it to be._

_When they had finished throwing mud at each other, both completely wet and dirty, sitting on a fallen log and trying to catch their breaths, Janus realized that Harry was shivering. He pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket, cleaned it with a quick spell and wiped away the dirt and water from the child's face as good as possible. With quite a shock he realized that Harry's lips had turned a bluish shade, as had the skin under his fingernails. _

_"Are you cold?"  
Harry bit his lower lip and nodded shyly, as if he was expecting to get scolded for admitting that he was freezing. Janus just shook his head. So far, he had thought that Remus was exaggerating a bit whenever he talked about the circumstances Harry had lived in during the past year, but as he saw the child's reluctance to admit that he was cold, and as he remembered the look of panic on Harry's face when he had fallen into the mud, Janus thought that maybe his little brother had been right about the muggles who had raised Harry._

_But right now it was important to get the child warm and dry again. Not only would Remus throw a fit if Harry got sick from the first time he was left alone in Janus' care, but also because Christmas was approaching rapidly and Harry should not spend it lying in bed with pneumonia. _

_Janus pulled out his wand and raised it at Harry, intending to perform a simple drying charm. He didn't think anything unusual about it, he was so used to magic that this simple charm seemed nothing out of the ordinary for him. But Janus had forgotten that Harry had not been raised in a wizarding home and that he was still a bit sceptical concerning everything magical, especially if somebody was waving a wand at him._

_Upon seeing the wand, Harry immediately tried to scoot away from Janus as fast as possible. Janus frowned, then looked at his wand and suddenly he understood._

_"Hush, Harry. I'm not going to hurt you, all right? I'm just going to dry your clothes and warm you up a bit. It won't hurt, I promise."_

_Reluctantly, Harry nodded, but he still eyed Janus' wand warily. Janus performed the two charms and put his wand back into the holster on his right wrist._

_"Feeling warmer, little one?"_

_Janus himself didn't quite know why he chose to use that particular endearment for Harry, especially since only this morning he had been convinced that it would be best to stay as far away from the child as possible. Endearments had not been part of the plan, heck he hadn't even wanted to talk to the child at all. But Harry just had his way of sneaking into peoples' hearts and Janus was already realizing that despite all his resolve, he was starting to like the child._

_Little one had been his own nickname, years and years back. His mother had never used it, but his father had, despite the fact that he had been the older one of the two brothers, and also despite the fact that he had always (and still did up to this day) towered his little brother by at least half a head. The name had stuck with him until Janus had been about nine years old and had felt too old and grown up to be called like that. But Harry was only two and a half years old, he surely wouldn't mind for quite some time to come._

_Harry only shrugged as a response to Janus' last question, obviously not overly concerned about Janus' use of the nickname for him, but Janus could see that Harry was still shivering slightly. Janus quickly unwrapped his own scarf from his neck, dried it and charmed it warm. The scarf was long enough to cover half of Harry's face and most of his upper body._

_"Better?" Janus asked as he had tucked the child in as good as possible._

_Harry nodded and smiled slightly from underneath the dark blue wool of the scarf that covered his chin and mouth._

_"Yes."_

_"Good."_

_Janus looked around, scanning whether they had left nothing lying around._

_"I'd say we chased away the rabbits with all the ruckus we made. You'll have to show me some other day, maybe when it's a bit warmer."  
"'Kay."_

_"So, how about we head back home, get you into a nice hot bath and convince Remus to make us some of his hot chocolate? Sounds good?"_

_He stretched out his hand to Harry, and instead of verbally answering the question the child took the offered hand and started to walk back into the direction of Remus' house._

_The pair of them made quite a sight as they emerged from under the trees. Both were covered in dirt and mud from head to toe, and the small child was wrapped up in Janus' huge (and dirty) scarf that his upper body appeared to have twice its normal width. Halfway towards the house, Harry's pace grew more hesitant and he fell back behind Janus. Concerned, the older man turned towards the child and crouched down in front of him._

_"Hey, what's wrong little one?"_

_"Uncle Janus?"_

_Despite himself, Janus smiled. He guessed that Remus had only talked about him as 'Uncle Janus', thus convincing the child that it was perfectly alright to call him like that. He was a little surprised that Harry was willing to call him that, after all from what Remus had said Harry didn't have that many positive associations with the word 'uncle'. And up to this afternoon, Janus had been firmly convinced that he'd not get closer to the child, under no circumstances. He already had enough family members with whom he didn't necessarily get along._

_But now that he heard Harry say it, he didn't mind it as much as when Remus had teased him with the word uncle this afternoon. Uncle Janus. It had a certain ring to it, Janus had to admit. _

_"Yes Harry?"_

_The child nervously fidgeted with the rim of his dirty jacket and tried to rub away the mud stains on his jeans._

_"Remus..."_

_Janus framed Harry's face with his hands and did his best to smile encouragingly. This time at least, Harry didn't immediately cower away from him._

_"Are you worried what Remus will say because we're dirty?"_

_Harry nodded, his eyes turned towards the floor._

_"Hey, little one._ Remus won't get angry about it, okay? Did you have fun this afternoon?"__

_Another shy smile was playing around Harry's lips as he nodded._

_"You looked funny."_

_Janus laughed._

_"Yes, I guess I did. So, we had fun this afternoon and got ourselves a bit dirty. So what? The clothes can be washed and if we dry and warm ourselves up a bit, we won't get sick either. It's alright, okay?"_

_"'Kay."___

_Harry tried to stifle a yawn but failed miserably._

_"Tired, little one?"___

_"Hmmm."___

_"Come on, I'll carry you."_

_Before Harry could protest, Janus had lifted the little child up into his arms and started walking back towards the house. Just as they entered the back garden, Remus stepped out of the back door and looked at them, his expression lost somewhere between worry and exasperation. It clearly wasn't the first time that he had left the house to have a look out for his overdue brother and godson. He took in their dirty and dishevelled clothing, the fact that Harry was tiredly clinging to Janus' neck and raised a tawny eyebrow in question._

_"You've been away for more than an hour, I was starting to worry. And what has happened to your clothes? Did you crawl into the rabbit burrow?"_

_Janus laughed._

_"No, but the place has been flooded. I...well, I kind of stumbled, and the little one thought it was funny to see me dripping wet with mud. So I showed him just how funny it is."_

_Remus just shook his head._

_"The 'little one'?"_ There was a definite note of sarcasm in Remus' voice as he thought back to the way Janus had been behaving only slightly more than an hour ago  
Janus shrugged.__

_"Harry doesn't mind it. Oh, and by the way, thanks for promoting me to 'Uncle Janus'. He's taken up on that one."_

_Remus laughed._

_"It could have been worse than that, I could have told him your second name. There are awfully funny nicknames that can be made of Frederick, you know?"_

_"Oh yes, I do know. Well, I'm not the most experienced person in those matters, but Harry is freezing and I wouldn't mind taking a hot shower, either. We'd better get him inside before he gets sick and I get blamed for it until doomsday."_

_"Right.__ Just try not to make the house too dirty, alright?"_

_Obediently, Janus stepped out of his boots and made his way upstairs towards the bathroom. Carefully and not just a little bit hesitantly he undressed the sleepy child who was still clinging to him, while Remus was filling the bathtub with warm water. When Janus put Harry into the tub, the child for the first time seemed to realize Remus' presence. He smiled shyly and was rewarded with a warm smile in return._

_"Hi Harry."  
"Hi."  
"Did you have fun this afternoon?"  
Harry smiled and nodded._

_"Uncle Janus fell."_

_Remus laughed.  
"Yes, he told me as much. Did he look funny?"_

_"Yes. Made me muddy."_

_Harry shyly glanced at the dirty heap of clothes on the bathroom floor and thus missed Remus' bemused smile._

_"I can see that. Let's try and get that mud off of you again, alright? Head back, here comes the water."_

_Harry put his head back as Remus poured a can of water over his muddy hair. Remus grabbed for the shampoo bottle, then looked at Janus who was kneeling beside the tub and handed the bottle over to him._

_"Here, you wash his hair. I'll go and fetch some of his clothes and search something for you to wear."_

_Janus eyed the bottle in his hand suspiciously, which made Remus grin._

_"Janus, really._ Washing shouldn't be that much of a new concept for you. Just try to get off all the bits that don't belong on Harry and watch that he doesn't drown. And you need something to wear because, as we both know, cleansing charms are neither your nor my strength. I'll be back in a couple of minutes."__

_And with this, Remus turned and left the room. Janus shook his head. Trust Remus to go the whole way to make him get acquainted with the child._

_"Alright Harry, let's see if we can get you clean again."_

_Janus carefully poured some shampoo onto Harry's hair and began foaming it up. _

_No problem there, Janus thought. This was ridiculously easy, come to think of it. All you had to do was keep the child occupied and tire it out until it was too tired to protest against being put in the bathtub. Ha, if his father would just once more complain about how exhausting he had been as a child, he'd have the perfect answer for him. Taking care of children was easy, he should have known that his father was exaggerating._

_"Ouch!"_

_Janus nearly let the can of water with which he had just rinsed the shampoo out of Harry's hair fall into the tub in surprise. Harry was sitting in the tub, his eyes pressed tightly closed and a pained expression on his face. There were tears running down his cheeks, along with the water from his head._

_"Harry, what's wrong?"  
"Ouch! Hurts!"_

_"What Harry? Where does it hurt? You'll have to tell me, otherwise I can't do anything about it."  
"Ouch!"_

_Harry started crying harder, his hands clamped tightly over his face. Janus was close to panicking right now. He tried to pry Harry's hands away from the child's face, but even when he managed to pull a hand away, there was nothing unusual about it that Janus did notice. But then why was Harry crying?_

_"Harry? Come on, tell me what's wrong?"_

_The only answer he received was another wailing sob, and that was enough for Janus to do the only thing he could think of: call for help._

_"Remus!__ Remus, come here!"_

_Moments later Remus appeared in the doorframe, some children's clothes in his hand and a worried frown on his face. Seeing his panicking brother kneeling next to a crying Harry, Remus immediately put the clothes aside and knelt down next to Janus._

_"What's wrong?"_

_"I don't know, he...he just started crying. I don't know what's wrong with him."_

_"Harry? What's wrong with you?"  
Remus ran a hand over Harry's hair and when he realized that all the shampoo had run over his face he grabbed the can out of his brother's hand._

_"The soap got in your eyes, right?"  
Harry nodded weakly.  
"Alright, we'll wash it out in no time. Just put your head back again, okay pup?"_

_Remus carefully poured the water over Harry's face and washed away the soap, carefully cleaning especially the area around his eyes. Then he took up a washcloth and ran it across the child's still tightly closed lids._

_"Try opening them up, Harry."_

_Harry did, but immediately closed them again. There were still tears streaming down his face, but after opening and closing his eyes for a couple of times the pain seemed to lessen. Other than being a little red, there was nothing unusual about his eyes._

_"Better, Harry?"_

_"It stings."_

_"I know, but that'll go away."  
Remus smoothed a hand over Harry's now clean hair. _

_"Let's get you cleaned up and into some warm clothes now."_

_Harry nodded and within minutes, Remus had him cleaned up and wrapped in a large fluffy towel. Janus was glad that Remus had taken over again and only when Remus lifted Harry up and carried him out of the room did Janus leave his position on the floor and started to get ready for his own shower. _

_Remus returned a moment later with a pair of jeans over one arm and some other items in his other hand. He deposited them on the toilet seat._

_"The jeans might be too small, but nothing that a small lengthening and widening charm can't correct. The other clothes should fit. I'll take Harry downstairs into the kitchen while you shower."_

_Remus turned to leave the bathroom again but Janus' hand on his shoulder stopped him._

_"I'm sorry."  
Remus frowned._

_"Whatever for?"  
"_Harry. I didn't mean to...he just started crying. I should have paid better attention. I'm sorry."__

_"Janus, Harry just got some shampoo in his eyes. It's not as if you had tried to drown him in the tub or something like that. Things like that just happen, you didn't do it on purpose. It has happened to me as well, a couple of times. If it is any relief for you, he's sitting in his room, already demanding the hot chocolate his Uncle Janus has promised him. And now, better take a shower before that mud in your hair becomes as hard as concrete and never washes out again."_

_Janus nodded and shrugged off his shirt while Remus closed the door behind him. _

_Maybe, Janus thought, maybe there was a bit more to parenting than he had thought half an hour ago. He couldn't remember when he had last felt so helpless like when the crying Harry had been sitting in front of him. And if there was one thing Janus didn't like, then it was feeling helpless. Absolutely not. Maybe mixing with the child had not been such a good idea after all._

_Twenty minutes later, Janus was seated at Remus' kitchen table, across from his brother and with Harry's high chair to his right, a steaming cup of hot chocolate in front of him. He and Remus were both listening to Harry's recount of this afternoon's events. Remus had been right, for a two and a half year old Harry was able to speak quite clearly and much, but Remus said he guessed that was because his aunt and uncle had only reacted to him whenever he had expressed clearly what he wanted._

_But even though, Janus would have only understood half of Harry's story had he not been present during the mud-bath that afternoon.___

_Janus watched his little brother as he listened to the child's short sentences that were only interrupted by the sound of a biscuit being chewed from time to time. _

_Remus watched Harry attentively, a fond smile on his face. He was watching Harry's every move as if to memorize the moment, just as if the next minute the Ministry would burst into the house and take him away again and he wanted to create some positive memories before that._

_Remus had changed since Harry was living with him, Janus realized. He seemed even more calm than he had been before, more centred. He was smiling far more often than he had during the past year and seemed to be more at ease with what had happened. Though Janus was sure that there was still a lot of grief for his dead friends and the one who had betrayed them, the thought that Remus had been able to give Harry a better home and a lot more love than the child would have had with his muggle relatives seemed to have taken a huge weight off Remus' shoulders._

_What had changed most about him were the eyes. Formerly, before the curse had claimed Remus his eyes had been hazel, but ever since the first moon cycle after he had been bitten they had become amber, their gleam various degrees of soft or feral, depending on the form of the moon. The wolf's eyes, and for nearly eighteen years they had reminded Janus every day that his little brother wasn't completely human anymore._

_During the past year, especially when Janus had first seen Remus after Voldemort's downfall, those amber eyes had been dull and lifeless, without expression and hope. And only now that Harry was finally living with Remus had his eyes gained their old sparkle back. Especially when he looked at Harry._

_A hand that waved in front of his eyes made Janus look up.__ Remus was looking at him, an eyebrow raised and a slight grin on his face._

_"Janus? What's wrong with you? You've been staring at me for minutes."_

_Janus quickly shook his head and looked at Harry. The child had sunk down in his chair, a bit of chocolate smeared on his upper lip, and his eyes nearly closed._

_"I've just been thinking that taking care of Harry is good for you. You've changed since he's here."_

_Remus smiled and looked back at Harry, carefully taking the child's empty mug out of his reach and placing it on the table._

_"That's what I've been fighting for all this time. It's been a hard year, but Harry made it worth it. And now I'm just looking forward to a little peace and quiet with him. Getting used to family life."_

_Janus laughed._

_"A little peace and quiet?_ Remus, I don't want to smash your hopes, but that child threw mud at me this afternoon. I don't think that 'peace and quiet' is an appropriate expression for that."__

_"I'm fairly convinced that Harry didn't start throwing mud at you."  
Janus raised an eyebrow._

_"You're biased, Remus. Just because he's the cute child and I'm the adult you automatically assume that it was me who started it."_

_"Did you?"  
"Yes, but that's not the point..."_

_Remus shook his head._

_"Just give up, Janus._ You've lost. I don't know what gave you the idea to start throwing mud at my godson in the middle of winter, but somehow you've finally broken the ice. He's not as shy and uncomfortable around you anymore like he was before. Not entirely comfortable, but it's a step."__

_"I'm not good with children."  
Remus just looked at him and smiled knowingly._

_"You'll learn it. That is", he glanced uncomfortably at Janus, "if you want to. I'd be glad if you wanted to spend time with Harry."_

_"But?"__  
Remus frowned._

_"But what?"  
"_Your sentence sounded as if there was a 'but' about to come."__

_Remus shrugged._

_"I know that you helped me during the past year because Dad asked you to. I might not have been at my best a year ago, but I'm not stupid, Janus. I know that we didn't really get along, and that during the past year we've only been around each other when it was because of the custody case. But I'd be glad if you wanted to spend some more time with Harry, even now that you've not promised Dad."  
"Remus, I'm nearly twenty-seven years old. I think I can very much decide on my own what I do and what I don't, I don't need Dad to tell me._

_Harry is a cute kid, but I'm not really comfortable around small children. Just give it some time and we'll see what comes out of it, okay?"_

_Remus nodded._

_"Okay. Right now I should maybe take the pup upstairs in his bed. Whatever you did to him, it has sure tired him out."_

_Janus grinned as he watched his brother struggle the sleeping Harry out of his high chair and carry him up the stairs. Harry seemed to be sleeping so deeply that he didn't even realize that he was being moved around. Minutes later, Remus came back down just as Janus had finished packing up his stuff and was about to leave homewards._

_"Dad suggested to celebrate Christmas here. Will you come?"_

_"Do I have to crawl around in the forest again?"  
"Not unless you want to."_

_Janus thought for a moment, then nodded._

_"Alright.__ But I'll bring a spare set of clothes, just to be on the safe side."_

_"If you think._ Bye Janus, and thanks again."  
"Nothing to thank me for. Bye Remus."__

_As Janus left the house and apparated home, Remus looked after him with a grin on his face. He'd give his brother another two weeks maximum before he would fall just as hard for Harry as Remus himself and Richard had._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

As consciousness slowly returned, Remus had a hard time to suppress a groan. He didn't really remember what had happened that had knocked him out cold again, but slowly being so weak and helpless became embarrassing. Not to mention the fact that his head was feeling as if he had held it on the rails of Platform 9 ¾ while the Hogwarts Express had passed through. 

Merlin, how he only wanted to get out of this blasted hospital and get Harry back, simply return to his normal life.

Harry.

How long had he been unconscious? Where was Harry? Maybe the others knew something more about Harry's whereabouts by now, that would at least be something worth the effort of opening his eyes.

"Remus? Are you awake?"  
Slowly, Remus turned his head towards the direction from which his father had called him and opened one bleary eye.

"Dad?"

A chair was moved next to his head and the mattress bent lightly as Richard leaned his arms onto it.

"I'm here, Remus. How are you feeling?"

Remus thought for a moment, but as his vocabulary didn't hold an appropriate word to describe just how bad he was feeling, he didn't answer that question. Maybe he should have listened some more on the various occasions when Janus had been swearing like a sailor.

"What happened?"  
"You had some kind of fit and hyperventilated. Dr. Waters says you've had far too much stress since you've woken up and your body protested against it."

Suppressing another groan, Remus opened his other eye and tried to get accustomed to the brightness in the room. The first thing he saw clearly was his father's face to his left, an immense amount of concern in his green-brown eyes. It hurt Remus nearly physically to see how much his father worried about him. Again. It seemed that ever since that blasted wolf had bitten him all those years ago, his father had not had a chance to stop worrying about him. And it seemed that no matter how desperately Remus tried to change this, he only made things worse, again and again.

Weakly, Remus pushed his hands against the mattress and tried to lift himself into a sitting position, but he soon had to realize that he didn't have enough strength to sit up on his own. A frustrated growl escaped his throat. God, how much he hated to be this helpless, he really did.

Hands on his shoulders gently pressed him down onto the mattress again. Remus looked up at his father, words of protest already on his lips, but every thought of contradicting the older man died when he got a look at his eyes. With quite a shock Remus realized that whatever it was that kept his father upright, it wouldn't last long anymore. Richard Lupin had visibly reached the end of what he could bring up the strength to take.

"Remus, please."

For the moment, Remus allowed his father to press him back onto the bed. He wasn't sure he'd have the strength to stay upright for long, anyway.

"How long have I been out?"  
"A little more than an hour."

"Albus? Janus?"

"Janus has returned to the Ministry, he said there was something he needed to check and to bring their information about Black up to date. Albus has gone with him, trying to find out what they're doing to find Harry."

Slowly, Remus nodded, somewhat relieved that his next confrontation with Albus Dumbledore, inevitable as it was, had been postponed a little. If he already had to face the consequences of his betrayal, he'd prefer to do so with enough strength to stand on his own feet.  
"No news?"  
Richard shook his head.

"No, nothing about Harry. Janus didn't say much about how Black escaped from Azkaban, either. He just said that he's been gone for quite some time now, something around ten days. The Ministry will know about his animagus form by now, but Harry is gone for quite some time already, Merlin only knows where he's taken the little one to by now."

Again, Remus struggled to get himself into a sitting position. He couldn't just keep lying here while Harry was somewhere out there, alone and terrified in the hands of the man who had already delivered the child's parents to certain death.

Again, Richard's hand pressed him back onto the mattress, forceful this time and without his previous concerned gentleness.

"For Merlin's sake, Remus! Keep lying in that bed or I swear I'll fetch the doctor and let him sedate you!"

Remus looked up, startled, and found that his father was glaring furiously at him.

"Dad, you don't understand. I have to..."  
"You have to do nothing right now, Remus! Got me? Nothing except from getting some rest."

"I can't just lie around here and do nothing!"

Richard got up so suddenly that his chair fell backwards and hit the tiled floor with a loud clattering sound. Even to somebody who didn't know Richard Lupin as well as his son did it was obvious that he was furious now, pacing up and down Remus' room. Remus caught himself trying to remember when he had last seen his father like this, but as much as he thought back, he could not recall any occasion in the past years when his father had lost his temper with him.

Richard ran his hands through his hair in frustration, a gesture both Janus and Remus had internalized as well over the years.

"Yes you can and you will. Whether you like it or not, Harry is gone and at the moment it's not in your hands to try and find him again. Leave that to Janus and the people at the Ministry and for once in your life think about yourself for a change!"

"Dad, I can't just sit back and wait. Harry could be hurt..."  
"Don't you think I know that?"  
Remus flinched back as his father paced over next to the bed again and glared down at him, shouting out the words.

"Don't you think I know that he's out there, alone, in the hands of a ruthless madman? That he could be hurt, even dead by now? I know that, Remus, and there is nothing more that I'd want than to change this and bring the little one back, right here, right now. But I can't. You can't."

"I have to try."

"No!"

Remus could be stubborn if he wanted to, but he began to realize that he was fighting a losing battle here.

"You bloody well don't have to try, Remus. You can't even sit up on your own at the moment, how do you think you could be of any help in trying to find Harry right now?"  
"I..."

"No, Remus. I know that you're worried about Harry, but you have to understand that it's out of your hands at the moment. All you have to do at the moment is seeing to it that you get well again."  
"I'm not important right now, dad. It's Harry..."  
"No!"

Richard had come to a halt next to Remus bed and looked down at his younger son with a piercing glare that interrupted any movement of getting up Remus might have planned.

"Remus, you don't seem to understand the obvious here. You've been hurt, you need time to get better again. You are worried about Harry, we all are. But I'm worried about you, as well. 

Do you even begin to understand how close you've come to dying yesterday? Have you just wasted one single thought on that? 

When I found you in your study, I thought I had lost you. If you were no werewolf, you'd be dead by now, insane at best! Have you just the slightest idea what I've gone through ever since Claire called me up and told me that you didn't answer her calls? I've been worried sick that I might lose you, Remus. I'm still worried about you. Just an hour ago, you've collapsed again, in case you've already forgotten, and I for one won't sit by and watch you drive yourself into exhaustion again. 

If I have to petrify and tie you to the bedposts to keep you in here, then I'll do it. But I'm royally fed up with worrying about you, Remus. I've reached the limit of what I can take. So for Merlin's sake just once in your life stop thinking that you are the one who has to do everything! Just for once think about how the people around you have to feel about things. You're not the only one who doesn't particularly like the momentary situation. You're not the only one who is worried for Harry. Janus is, Albus is, I am. We all have to manage this situation somehow, not only you. So for once in your life try to look past your own self pity and understand that you're not the only one who is suffering right now.

Because I for one don't have any strength left to catch you again. I just can't, I'm sorry."

And with this, Richard turned around and left the room, slamming the door shut behind him. He left Remus lying on the bed, staring at the spot where his father had stood only moments ago. 

Now this was something new. Richard had rarely lost his temper in the past, he had always made out his problems with himself rather than burdening his sons with them, even by the time Janus and Remus were adults themselves. It was rare that Richard admitted to be overtaxed by something, and even rarer that he lost his patience and calm demeanour and started shouting. Though Remus and Richard didn't seem very much alike at first sight, this was a trait of character both shared. The past day must truly have stressed the seemingly endless patience with which Richard bore things until it snapped.

With a groan, Remus sank further back into his pillow.

Great, he thought. He had always tried not to be selfish, but somehow he just never seemed to manage it. He always pulled others with him, and now he had finally hit rock bottom. Not only had Sirius managed to take Harry and Remus had not been able to protect his godson, but he had also disappointed Dumbledore's trust in him and had his father close to a nervous breakdown. And it was all his fault.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

After the doctor had convincingly assured him that Remus' seizure had been nothing serious, only a signal of his brother's body that it had been stressed beyond what it could take and that he would be fine again once he allowed himself to rest, Janus had apparated back to the Ministry. Not after he had been forced to answer his father's and Professor Dumbledore's questions about how Black had escaped from Azkaban, how Janus knew this for a fact and how long ago this had been. Really, those two had behaved just as if Janus had not said that he wasn't allowed to reveal the precise circumstances of Black's escape. Janus hat told them how long Black had been on the run by now, nothing more, but that had already been enough to make his father's eyes blaze over with fury because Janus had withheld that vital information from both him and Remus, and Dumbledore had smiled somewhat sadly before he had excused himself and apparated to the Ministry himself, to speak to Minister Fudge, as he had said.

Come to think about it, it was nearly scary how precise Lucas had been in his prediction concerning the reactions Janus' revelation would provoke.

With a sigh, Janus climbed the last staircase and started walking down the corridor towards his and Lucas' office. He'd rather not think about his partner right now, not while he still had maybe twenty seconds of relative peace.   
If Janus knew Lucas as well as he thought – and after all those years of working together so closely, Janus would say that Lucas was the person he knew best – then his partner was still fuming with anger. He had been against telling his family and Dumbledore about Black, not because he had personally disapproved of the idea, but because it went against Ministry regulations. Now, Janus had never been the one to know the rule-book by heart and follow it always, and Lucas had learned to live with that over the years. Most of the times, they had been successful, and though the two Unspeakables had been reprimanded about their methods more than once, there had never been serious consequences if Janus or Lucas hadn't exactly followed Ministry guidelines while investigating their cases. But so far, none of them had crossed the one firm border Janus had broken down today. 

The vow to keep everything about their work a secret which was to be kept from literally everybody else except the respective Unspeakable's partner was the rule of importance in their field of profession. So far, Janus and Lucas had stuck to it as if their life depended on it. Not only because mostly they were working on cases they wouldn't want to burden their friends and family with, but also because that was basically what the whole Department was all about. If somebody wanted to work for the Ministry and boast about what kind of dangerous field work they did, then they became Aurors.

Though it was basically no secret who was working at the Department of Mysteries, the exact workings of that Department as well as the kind of jobs the Unspeakables were doing had to be kept a secret. It would be pretty senseless to have an elite crime-fighting unit about whom the opposite side knew practically everything. Creating this extreme mystery about the Unspeakables and their work also served to keep up their general reputation as extremely skilled wizards who were not necessarily limited by the same restrictions and moral guidelines like the Aurors were. 

And this evening, Janus had for the first time since he had joined the Department broken his vow of silence. Even worse, he had done so deliberately without even listening to Lucas as his partner had tried to convince him otherwise.

Janus knew for a fact that if their roles had been reversed and it had been Lucas blurting out the facts about Black's escape, he would be seething with anger and his partner could be glad to get out of this affair with nothing but a (metaphorical or literal) black eye. It wouldn't have mattered to him whether Lucas' family had been involved in it or not. So far, Janus had taken the rule of secrecy extremely serious.

There had been times when tonight's moral dilemma simply would not have presented itself to Janus, but the older Lupin son had changed a lot during the past years, especially concerning his family. He didn't really know whether it had been merely Harry's arrival in their family and the immense speed with which the little child had wormed his way into all their hearts, including the one of the normally level-headed and rational Janus Lupin. He didn't know whether the time he had spent with Harry, his own slowly increasing relationship with his younger brother and the changes he had seen Harry bring out in Remus had influenced him that much that he had reconsidered his own view on family life and his relationships so far, but somehow it hadn't taken that long after Remus had been granted custody for Janus to stop his ever changing affairs and start something serious on his own. 

Little Harry had changed a lot in Janus' life, though he had not wanted to admit it at first, and today Janus found himself with a wife and a daughter of his own, an idea he would have laughed about only four years ago. But even though he might not want to admit it openly, but somehow Janus had become a family person, and the thought that Harry was out there, alone, probably hurt or even worse had been enough to make him forget what up to some time ago had been the most important part of his life. Fuck the bloody Ministry rules, he had to tell them about Black and his escape, anything that could help bringing the little one back was worth the trouble. 

Not knowing where Harry was and if he was still alive was a horrible feeling, and Janus didn't even want to contemplate what it had to feel like for Remus, who was still a bit closer to the child. Janus knew that if it was Julia who had been kidnapped, he'd be going ballistic by now. The thought of somebody hurting his little princess was enough to tear him apart between fury and fear, and Harry was nearly as close to him as his own child. Not quite, but still important enough to justify the means Janus had taken. 

The problem was, Janus knew that Lucas would not exactly think along the same lines right now.

So Janus was in absolutely no hurry to get into his office and thus into Lucas' proximity again. But as this could hardly be avoided for any longer, Janus decided that he'd better get over with it. There were many things that could be said about Janus Lupin, but not that he was a coward.

Taking a last deep breath and steeling himself for what was about to come, Janus opened the door and entered their office.

Their secretary Maggie was not sitting in her chair in the small antechamber of their office, but that was nothing really unusual. Maggie was often to be found in other parts of the Department, or in the Archive to search out older case-files. Janus wasn't particularly worried about Maggie, his sole focus of worry was his partner behind the next door. But as there was no reason for him to delay the confrontation any further, not with Maggie being absent from the office, Janus stepped over towards the office door and opened it up in what he hoped was a determined and self-confident way. The sight that greeted him was not at all what he had expected to see.

There was Lucas, his partner, standing behind his desk. That as such was no surprise, and also the fact that he didn't look up upon Janus' entrance wasn't extraordinary. Lucas didn't need to look up to see who entered the office, except from Janus nobody ever did so without knocking. The only sign telling that he had noticed his partner's presence in the room was the hardly noticeable hardening of his features and the scowl that seemed to deepen on his face. 

But what had surprised Janus were the boxes standing on his and Lucas' desks, boxes that were in the process of being filled with parchment and files from their shelves and desks. Janus' half of the office was nearly empty by now, the only remains being the personal items that were not part of their actual work.

Janus frowned. He had expected to find his partner extremely angry upon his return, maybe even a confrontation with their boss, the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement William Ryder. That he could have dealt with. But being greeted by eerie silence, his partner completely ignoring him but instead packing up what seemed to be everything they had been working on so far was not at all what Janus had expected.

"Lucas?"

Lucas looked up shortly, measured Janus from head to toe with his gaze and then returned to what he had been doing – placing files and reports into the last box on his desk.

Janus decided to try again.

"What are you doing here?"

Lucas let the stack of paper in his hands fall into the box with an extremely loud sound, then slowly turned around and looked Janus straight in the eyes.

"What does it look like?"

Great, Janus thought. Really great. If there was one thing he absolutely didn't like, then it was playing question and answers when things were serious. 

"Well, it looks like you're packing everything in this office into boxes. What's this, are we fired?"  
That had been the first idea to cross Janus' mind upon entering the office. Though he surely would not like losing his job, it wasn't a thought that scared him very much. He had not thought about this possibility when he had left the office to tell his family about Black's escape, but it seemed only a logical consequence to him. Janus wasn't that worried about losing his job because despite the fact that he liked his job at the Department of Mysteries and didn't necessarily want to lose it, a man with his skills and qualifications would not have problems in finding a new occupation. He only regretted that he had pulled Lucas into all this as well.

Lucas calmly finished packing the box and placed it next to the others on the floor. Then he leaned against his desk, his arms folded across his chest. His blue eyes pierced Janus with their glare.

"No, we're not fired. But that's the only good thing that can be said today."

Janus fully entered the room and left his position at the door. He sat down on his own desk and returned Lucas' glare nearly as hard as his partner had done.

"Then what is this all about?"  
He gestured around the office as he spoke. Lucas might be angry as much as he wanted, but Janus finally wanted to know what was happening in his office. He didn't have time to do some redecorating, they needed to search for Harry. They just didn't have time for this.

Lucas on the other hand didn't seem to be as eager to get back to work as Janus was, on the contrary. He hid whatever was going on in his mind behind a mask of calm and patience, just as if he had all the time in the world. Lucas had to know that he was stressing his partner's patience, but he didn't seem to care all that much about it. 

"You should know what this is all about, Janus. Merlin knows you should know. What did you expect would Ryder do if he got to know you've been blurting out details about your work to your family?"

"Fire me."

Within a moment, Lucas had crossed the room and come to a halt in front of where Janus sat, his balled fists and the way he bit his lower lip betraying just how close he was to losing his temper only to somebody who knew him very well.

"Listen Janus, to you this might be all fun and games, but believe me that I don't particularly like the situation we're in right now. You might consider it a great idea to break every rule in our department, one after another, but believe me that I'm royally fed up with that. Things would be even worse were it not for me."

Janus just shook his head, completely ignoring Lucas' threatening posture that would have made most people shut up immediately.

"Forgive me if I'm a bit thick today, but what is going on here? All I know is that when I left two hours ago, everything seemed to be in order, and now I come back and find you packing all the contents of our office into nice little cardboard boxes. It seems I'm missing some crucial steps here."

"We're out of it. Ryder has called us off from all the cases we were working on and has ordered all files to be brought into his office by six o'clock tonight. Do you have just the slightest idea for how long we'll be dealing with unlicensed apparition and other traffic issues because of the stunt you pulled this afternoon?"  
Janus leaned back and cocked his head, seemingly unimpressed by Lucas' anger.

"And how does Ryder know? I've only just come back from the hospital."  
Lucas didn't answer, but he didn't need to. The look in his eyes told Janus all he wanted to know. Janus had known the answer to his question even before he had asked it. Lucas had been the only other person who had known what Janus had been up to.

Janus shook his head in disbelief.

"You've told on me? You went to Ryder and told on me? Fuck Lucas, what's that all about?"  
But if Janus was angry, so was Lucas, and both were men who didn't particularly like backing down in a confrontation.

"What that's all about? Excuse me, but I've been trying to save our jobs! I have told you before you left that you shouldn't be in those investigations at all. That you're not objective. But no, you just didn't listen to me. Instead you set off and started to commit some real idiotic stupidities. What else should I have done, tell me? Sit back and wait until you come back so that I can pick up the pieces of whatever catastrophe you've gotten yourself into now? I don't really think so."

"Lucas, you're my partner. I've trusted you and now you go and tell on me behind my back? I can't believe you did that!"

"I told you to let it be before you left. I told you not to go and tell Dumbledore and your family about the investigations. I told you to leave the search for Harry to people who weren't as involved as you are. I told you all that but you just didn't listen to me. So I went to Ryder and told him what you were up to save you from even more trouble.

Janus, don't you understand? If Ryder had gotten to know about all this by somebody else, then he'd have fired you. Both of us. This way we'll just have to deal with some serious repercussions, but in a couple of weeks it'll all be back to normal. You should thank me for that."

"Thank you for that?"  
Janus jumped off the desk in one smooth movement, advancing on Lucas until his partner was backed up against the wall.

"I trusted you Lucas, and behind my back you go telling on me? And you have the guts to say that I should be thankful for that? Thankful for breaking my trust?"

Lucas pushed Janus back so forcefully that he stumbled, nearly losing his balance completely before he managed to steady himself on a nearby shelf. 

"I broke your trust? Excuse me but who walked out of this office with the intent to place his family issues above the trust that's needed to work together? That was you, not me. We both knew what kind of work would expect us in this department, and if you suddenly feel that you're not cut out for what it might demand of you then you can leave anytime. But don't place the blame on me. I did what I thought was right."

Lucas angrily turned around and levitated the filled boxes onto one stack next to the door, but before he left he once more turned towards Janus.

"You'd better pack up the rest of those files and bring them to Ryder's office. And then you better take some days off and think about your priorities. I need to know that I can trust you, and at the moment I'm not sure I still can."

With this, Lucas levitated the boxes into the air and left the office, the stack of cardboard boxes floating behind him before Janus had the chance to repeat something. Lucas knew that such a behaviour made Janus more furious than most other things, but at the moment Janus didn't particularly care. There were more important things on his mind.

Dumbledore was meeting with Fudge at that moment, and the first thing he'd tell the Minister was that Black was an illegal animagus. From all that Janus knew, Fudge would immediately call Ryder into the meeting and inform him about this new development, so he needn't worry about hurrying to see his boss. And while he still had time, he'd better have a look at all the files about Black's case and the Azkaban raid again, for as long as he still could. There simply had to be some hint in the files, some clue as to where Harry had been taken. If Black had simply wanted to kill Harry, then he'd have done so in the house. There had been no need for him to take the child, not if he didn't have another plan for Harry. And that could mean that the child was still alive, and Janus would be damned if he gave up searching now. Ryder could call him off the case as much as he liked, but Janus had no intention to stop his investigations concerning Harry and Black. This was personal now.

Deciding that there was nothing to gain in standing and staring at the door, Janus went over towards his desk and looked what files Lucas still had left. All he needed were the reports of the Azkaban raid and of Black's arrest six years ago.

Janus sat down on his chair and with a flick of his wand cleared the white board on the far off wall which Lucas and he normally used to pin memos or other internal affairs information to and then slowly began to arrange all information from the files on the board. There had to be a connection somewhere, he just had to find out which. Somehow, it made sense, Janus only had to find out how. And he would not leave before he had done exactly that.

**----------**

**Alright, I know that nothing really much happens in this chapter, but believe me when I say that it was kind of necessary to have the chapter the way it is. The next chapter will be a tad bit more difficult to write and read, but there will finally be some action in it.**

**So stay tuned for chapter 13 – "Remember the Wolf is a Hunter" – which will be up as soon as possible, somewhere during the next two weeks. It's not as if you wouldn't have (finally) something 'original' to read in the meantime.**

**Have fun with Order of the ****Phoenix**** everyone, I'm signing off until I've read the book so that I can be sure nobody spoils it for me. Should be back on Sunday evening *g* ****à**** hey, I waited 3 years for that book!**


	13. Remember The Wolf Is A Hunter

All right, here it finally is. Sorry for the delay, I encountered slight problems while writing the last part of this chapter. Hopefully, you're still with me out there! *g*

For the next chapters, I won't give you announcements that I can't stick to, but hopefully I've overcome all the "how am I supposed to do this" questions and am ready to finish this fic more quickly.

Enjoy!

**Remember The Wolf Is A Hunter**

****

At half past seven in the evening, Janus was still sitting behind his desk, staring at the board in front of him. During the past hours, he had rearranged the information from the files at least a hundred times, but he had the feeling that he hadn't come closer to solving the puzzle than he had been this afternoon. Slowly, it was getting unnerving. 

His deadline to deliver the files into Ryder's office had passed, but Janus wasn't particularly worried about that. His boss was already angry anyway, and now that the news about Black being an illegal animagus had been broken, Ryder would have something else to do than worry about the files. After all Hopkins had copies of every file down in his archives, and quite frankly Janus wouldn't have cared if he didn't have them, either. 

A knock on his office door made him look up just as he was about to move the contents of the board around again, hoping they would finally start making sense. His secretary Maggie stuck her head through the gap of the partly opened door and smiled sympathetically as she saw the mess of parchments and folders that covered Janus' half of the office.

"There's a fire-call for you."  
Janus frowned. "Who?"

"Your wife. Shall I put her through?"

Maggie really needn't have asked, she knew the answer to that question already. Nevertheless she waited until Janus had nodded before she went back into the antechamber to connect the call. Janus got up from his chair and crouched down in front of the fireplace, a worried frown on his forehead. A moment later, the fire sprang to life and Serena's head appeared in the fireplace, smiling slightly as she saw her husband.

"Serena? Is something wrong?"

Hearing the worry in Janus' voice, Serena immediately shook her head.

"No, don't worry. Everything is alright. Something new about Harry?"  
Janus shook his head and Serena's expression saddened.

"I've been digging through the case files for the past hours, but I just don't find any clue. And to top it all we've been taken off the case. I don't know how much I'll get to know about the investigations come tomorrow, and I have the feeling that we need to find Harry fast. Remus isn't holding up well, either."

Serena nodded.

"I know. I visited him this afternoon with Julia. I thought that she might take his thoughts off of things for a while, but I think seeing her with me only made it worse. I'm worried about him."  
Janus nodded, running a hand through his hair.

"He had a row with Richard."

"What?"

Serena only shrugged. "Don't ask me what they were fighting about, but when we arrived at St. Mungo's Richard was pacing the cafeteria and it was a small wonder that there was no steam coming out of his ears."

Janus sighed frustratedly. He should have seen that one coming.

"This is getting out of hand. I don't want to imagine what it'll do to Remus if something happens to Harry."  
For a moment, both silently fought down the images of what those consequences might look like, not really wanting to contemplate the idea that something serious could happen to Harry.  
"When will you come home?"

Janus looked from his wife to the huge stack of files on his desk and back again. He had been brooding over those parchments for hours on end without finding something, and he desperately needed to try and take his mind off things. Maybe that would bring the answer.

"Just let me pack up those files and then I'll be home. Give me half an hour or so."  
Serena smiled at him for a moment before her head vanished from the fireplace. With a sigh Janus rose to his feet again and began floating the spread files into the cardboard boxes. Surely nobody would miss them if he took them home overnight, just in case the missing connection would finally occur to him.

Ten minutes later Janus wished Maggie a good night and left the office, the boxes containing the case files shrunk and securely placed in his pocket. Usually, Ministry workers were not searched when entering or leaving the building, especially not the Unspeakables, and even if they were it was nothing unusual to take some work home with them. 

But nobody even bothered to search Janus as he left the Department and stepped into the large courtyard from where he apparated home.

Serena was just coming down the stairs when Janus opened the front door and stepped into the hall. She smiled as she saw her husband and came over towards him. Despite all his worry and frustration, Janus couldn't help but smile back as he kicked the door shut behind him and took her in his arms. For a short moment he just wanted to forget that Sirius Black was out there, that he had Harry and that only Merlin knew what he had done to the child already. The worry about Harry and Remus was eating at Janus from the inside, and he just needed to let go for a moment. And the only place where he could do that was here, with his wife and daughter. He kissed her tenderly and for a long moment they just stood there in the hall, holding tightly onto each other.

"Julia is asleep already?"  
Serena pulled back from the embrace and mock-glared at her husband, one eyebrow raised. Janus laughed.

"What? Wrong question?"

"I've been trying to put her to bed for the past hour."  
"But?"  
"But she insists that she wants her Daddy."

Janus smiled widely and with a definite note of pride.

"Then I'd better get upstairs and look after my girl."

"Yes, better do that. Would be a real shame if Daddy's little princess had to go to bed with nobody but her Mum to say her goodnight."

Janus laughed, knowing fully well that Julia was a _Daddy's girl through and through already. No chance to get that out of her anymore. Not that he would have wanted to, anyway. He himself was completely and utterly in love with his little princess._

Serena stood on tip toe and gave him a kiss on the cheek before she turned around and walked into the kitchen while Janus went upstairs into Julia's room to put his daughter to bed.

As Serena had said, Julia was sitting up in her small bed and showed no inclination to go to sleep just now, though her eyes showed exactly how tired she was. Janus smiled as he tried to imagine the tantrum his daughter must have thrown when Serena had tried to put her into bed. Hearing the door being opened, Julia looked up from her teddy bear and her face lightened up as she recognized her father.

"Daddy!" Julia's small arms stretched towards him in the universal toddler demand to be picked up.

"Hello princess." Janus obediently lifted her up and cuddled the small girl close, placing a kiss on her dark blonde curls. Sitting down in the rocking chair next to the window he held Julia against his shoulder, smiling as he heard her sigh contently.

"What's that I hear about you not wanting to go to bed?" When he received no answer, Janus tickled Julia slightly along the ribcage. She giggled lowly and tried to move away from his hand.

"Story."  
"You want a story?"

"Hmmm."

"Then let's see what we can do." Janus stretched slightly until he could reach the books that stood on a shelf to his right, taking Julia's favourite book down and opening it up with his free hand.

Ten minutes later Janus put the book away again. Julia was fast asleep in his arms, she hadn't even been awake to hear the first few minutes of the story, but he had no intention to put her to bed just yet. He'd rather watch the small chest rise and fall with every breath, look at her relaxed and content face and ask himself over and over again how he with all his faults and vices could have helped in bringing something so wonderful and perfect into this world. 

As he watched his daughter sleep peacefully, Janus got immensely thankful that it was Harry who had been taken away and not his little princess, that while Harry was out there and possibly hurt or worse, his daughter was still here in his arms where he could protect her. As soon as that thought formed in his mind, Janus felt guilty for even thinking it, but he just couldn't help it. He loved Harry, no doubt about that, but no matter how much he did, Harry was not his own child. Julia was, and he was grateful that she was still here with him.

"Janus?"

Serena was standing in the doorway, softly calling out to get his attention. She was smiling at the sight of her husband and daughter, but the look in her eyes told that she had realized something was weighing on Janus' mind.

Carefully, Janus got up from the rocking chair, walked over towards Julia's bed and put her down into it.

"Good night, princess."

Julia was fast asleep already and only shifted slightly in her sleep as Janus softly kissed her cheek and tucked her in before he turned back towards Serena. They left the room, leaving the door open so that they would hear if Julia woke up at some point in the night, then they went downstairs.

"Do you want something to eat?"  
Janus just shook his head, though he had not eaten anything since lunch that day, and instead went over into the living room and collapsed onto the sofa. The boxes with the case files were still in his pocket outside in the hall, but he'd not unpack them just yet. Serena was standing next to the fireplace, eyeing her husband attentively. After some minutes during which Janus unfocusedly stared into the fireplace, Serena sat down on the sofa next to Janus and put a hand on his arm.

"Janus?"

He turned and looked at her, forcing himself to smile. The look in Serena's eyes told him that it had not been one of his more convincing smiles.

"What's wrong, love?"  
Janus tiredly rubbed his eyes and shook his head.

"Other than the complete mess that's been happening during the past days?" He sank back further into the sofa and allowed Serena to pull his head against her shoulder. It didn't happen often that Janus let his guard down completely, and hardly ever when he was not at home. But even here, with only Serena to witness it, it happened rarely that Janus admitted or even showed that he was overtaxed or exhausted. He could not afford to let his emotions take over at work, and it was hard to let go of that when he came home. He was still searching for the switch to turn off professionalism when he left his office.

Serena didn't say anything, she just sat there and softly ran her hand up and down his arm. Janus would start speaking when he was ready, she had learned quite early that it was of no use to push him into talking.

"I've caught myself thinking that I'm glad it's Harry and not Julia who has been kidnapped."

Serena nodded, though Janus could not see her in his current position. "And now you think you're an insensitive chunk because you're grateful that you're not in Remus' situation."

Serena felt Janus nod and shrug at the same time and tightened her arm around him.

"Shouldn't I? Remus nearly got killed yesterday, Harry has been kidnapped and could be dead by now and here I am, contemplating how lucky I am that it's not hit me and my own family. That's not a really sensitive reaction, is it?"  
"No, but it's understandable."

"Is it really?"

Serena shifted slightly so that Janus' head ended up in her lap and she could look into his face. She ran her fingers through his short, dark brown hair and along his face, smiling sadly at the pained expression on his face. 

When people described Janus, especially those who didn't know him more closely, they often used the words harsh, demanding, cold and arrogant. Nobody ever dared to describe him as 'emotional' or anything remotely resembling. There were only few people who knew that Janus' expectations on himself were even stronger than what he demanded of others, and that his strict emotional guard was an act of self-preservation rather than anything else. Serena knew that she was one of the few people who ever got to see him vulnerable and in need of emotional support. She herself didn't get to see him like that often either, but she knew that the events of the past days were nagging at him, eating him up from the inside though he did his best not to show it. Family had always been an ambivalent concept for Janus, but Serena knew that no matter how difficult things had been in the past between him, his father and brother, seeing things falling apart so rapidly was straining as well as hurting her husband. And it would not help things if he now started to think that he should feel guilty because it had hit Remus and not him. 

"Janus, you are glad that nothing has happened to our daughter. That's not an objectionable or selfish thought. It doesn't mean you're gleeful that something has happened to Harry. I know that you're worried about him, as do Remus and Richard. And I know something else."

"Which would be?"

"I know that if the situation was different and Remus had been taken you'd not hesitate to swap places with him if you could. Probably you'd say because you know so much better how to handle such a situation but in truth because you wouldn't want to see your little brother get hurt. Just like you don't want to see Harry get hurt. But that's not how the situation is and it's only understandable that you would not want to see Julia in Harry's situation. That you care about your own daughter doesn't mean you don't care at all about Harry. You're thankful that Julia is still here with us, but that's nothing wrong. You want Harry back just as much as Remus wants it, so don't start brooding over what you're feeling. You're already exhausted enough as it is."

Janus closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, willing down the turmoil of his emotions. Serena bent down and kissed him, then she carefully got up and handed her husband a pillow. 

"Try to relax a little, please. I'll make you something to eat and you just try to take you mind off things for an hour or so."

Janus nodded slowly and put the pillow under his head, trying to get the tension to leave his body. Serena turned and walked towards the door, but before she left the room Janus called her back.

"Serena?"  
She turned around. "Yes?"  
"I love you."  
Even after nearly four years, hearing Janus say those words still made Serena's stomach flip around. 

"And I love you, Janus. And now try to get some rest, or I'll have to drug you."  
Janus laughed. "I'd love to see you try."

"Believe me, you wouldn't. Rest, Janus. I'll be back soon."

Obediently, Janus relaxed back into the cushions and closed his eyes. He already knew that he would not be able to sleep, but maybe an hour or so of rest would help him sort out the chaos of thoughts on his mind.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_Harry was sick._

_Now, that wasn't something completely new for Remus, during the past fifteen months Harry had been sick before, but that didn't mean Remus had to like it. On the contrary. And while the nearly four year old child had suffered from a couple of flu-bugs and stomach aches before, Remus had the bad gut feeling that this time it was something more serious. _

_During the past day, Harry's fever had constantly climbed up until it now nearly reached the border of what Remus would call alarming. Remus was not the type of person who dragged their children to the doctor at the tiniest sneeze, but if Harry's fever would not stop climbing in the next hour, despite all fever reducing potions and Remus' attempts to cool him down, then he would call the doctor. This was no normal flu, and Remus didn't like seeing Harry like that at all. The child had settled in so well during the past fifteen months, he had left most of his initial shyness and withdrawal behind, but seeing Harry this unwell and quiet in his bed reminded Remus too much of how things had been when he had fetched the child from his relatives to be comforting._

_The last night had not been pretty, and Remus had not slept well – or much for that matter. Harry had cried out for him shortly after Remus had put him to bed, and from then on the child had refused to let him leave for longer than it took to fetch another potion or a cup of tea. Harry didn't like being sick, but from the looks of it he liked it even less when he was alone._

_Just as Remus was making his way down the stairs, somebody knocked on his door. Frowning, Remus put down the empty tea cup he was carrying and opened the front door, for a moment staring completely bewildered at the two people standing in front of it._

_"You do know that it's a lot easier to get into the house if you don't block the doorway, don't you Remus?"_

_Remus just nodded a bit dumbly and stepped aside, thus allowing Janus and his girlfriend to enter the hall. He was still staring at the pair, desperately trying to figure out why they were here, behaving as if this had been planned for quite some time now._

_"Erm...Janus?" Remus' older brother turned from where he had been showing Serena into the kitchen._

_"Yes?"_

_"Why exactly are you here?"_

_There it was again, the look that told Remus that he was missing something obvious here._

_"Don't tell me you forgot about it Remus. You promised not to leave me alone with all those relatives I haven't seen in years. You promised!"_

_His aunt's birthday, now Remus remembered. And for the first time in a couple of years their father had gone all authoritarian and had told his two sons that he expected them to show up at the party. After all, he had reminded them, Estelle was his only sister and would only turn fifty-five once. Janus had answered that no doubt there would come a 60th and a 70th birthday to celebrate, but after working on his sons' bad consciences and a bit of downright blackmailing, Richard had his sons where he had wanted them and Janus and Remus had agreed to show up. Remus knew that as long as Harry was with him, all those elderly ladies who always surrounded his aunt would leave him alone and spend their time feeding Harry sweets, that's why he had not been overly concerned about it._

_But now, with Harry sick, he had completely forgotten about it all._

_"Remus?"__ Janus waved a hand in front of his eyes. "Did you hear just one word of what I've been saying? What's wrong with you? You look like hell, you're not dressed for leaving yet, you're unshaved and if I'm the one to judge you haven't slept at all last night. What is it?"  
Remus sank down onto a kitchen chair and sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly._

_"That's because I haven't slept. Harry is sick."  
"Sick?" Janus immediately turned towards the door. "What's wrong with him? The flu?"  
"I thought so at first, but I'm not so sure anymore. I can't get his fever to break, and ever sine last night he's developed a skin rash that worries me. I wanted to call Dr. Mitchell this afternoon."_

_"Shall I have a look at him? Maybe I can find out what he has."_

_Remus looked up at Serena and she blushed a bit._

_"I know I'm not a specialist on children's sicknesses, I just thought I might be able to find it out."_

_Remus raised his hands._

_"No, it's a good idea. I'd be thankful if you could check him through."_

_He smiled at the blonde woman who returned the smile. _

_"He's upstairs?"_

_Remus nodded and the three of them turned towards the stairs, following Serena up into Harry's room. Janus rubbed his hands gleefully._

_"As much as I hate it when the little one is sick, anything that keeps me from Aunt Estelle is something good."_

_Remus just shook his head, but when he looked at his bother he found that Janus wasn't looking at him, but had his eyes trained on Serena's – admittedly very attractive – backside. He shook his head again. Serena and her impact on Janus' life was still a complete mystery to him._

_Serena Collins had entered Janus' life just like her many predecessors had. Just like Lucy, Sondra, Tabby, Sarah, Rita, Andrea, Katherine and all the others whose names Remus had already forgotten, Janus had met her and hadn't wasted much time to start one of his (usually short-lived) relationships with her._

_From all that Remus knew, the two had met in a pub where Janus had enjoyed an evening out with an old school friend from Beauxbatons. Then he and Serena had run into each other on the way to the bar, and ten minutes later Janus had returned with her address and a date for the next evening._

_But unlike her many predecessors, Serena simply had not left Janus' life after a week or ten days. Whether his brother had realized something was different during that time, or whether he had seen something different in Serena right from the start Remus could not tell, but he knew that something was different this time. His brother and Serena didn't seem to live in a short-lived fantasy bubble in which the world solely revolved around themselves until after a short time reality poked through and one of them chickened out, thus ending their affair. No, something about Serena was different from Lucy, Sondra, Sarah and all the others._

_As a medi-witch in the last year of her training, Serena had quite a busy job working in St. Mungo's. The little spare-time she had she preferred to spend with Janus if his own busy schedule allowed it, but from all Remus knew about them Serena wasn't completely dependent of Janus being around. For all he knew, her world didn't solely revolve around Janus Lupin and a couple of times in the past four months she had already cancelled dates, telling Janus she had other plans. If that had left him angry or confused Janus hadn't shown, on the contrary he seemed to be glad that Serena was a woman who also had a life of her own besides him. After the first weeks had passed and it had become apparent that Serena had no intention to leave Janus anytime soon - as well as vice versa – Janus had insisted to introduce her to his family._

_Richard had nearly had a heart-attack when Janus had come and introduced Serena as his girlfriend to him. The last time one of his relationships had lasted long enough for Janus to make that step, he had been seventeen years old and inwardly Richard had not believed that it would ever happen again._

_Nearly five months had passed and they were still together. Remus sometimes wondered how two so strong-minded, stubborn personalities with big egos managed to get along with each other, but somehow it seemed to work. And though Remus wasn't close enough to Janus to be sure what was going on in his mind, he had the feeling that Janus had no intention to end that relationship. By now, Remus wouldn't be all that surprised if those two ended up married one day._

_When they stepped into Harry's room Remus found that Harry was still lying there like he had left him, his face flushed and sweaty, grimacing slightly as he was caught in a fitful feverish sleep. Serena immediately went over and knelt down next to the child who slowly seemed to realize that he wasn't alone in his room._

_"Hi Harry." Serena tried to sound cheerful despite the frown that had appeared on her face as soon as she had seen just how high his fever had climbed. Harry looked at her from glassy green eyes, after a moment obviously recognizing her from the few times he had seen her._

_"Hi", he repeated weakly. Then, though a bit firmer also not just a little scared "Remus?"_

_Immediately, Remus was sitting down on the bed next to him and stroke the sweaty hair from Harry's forehead._

_"I'm here, pup. Serena is just trying to find out what we can do to make you feel better again."_

_"Don't go."_

_"I won't go anywhere, I promise." Remus sat as close to the small child as possible and watched as Serena finished her examination. Her expression was getting darker and Remus saw his fears that it was a serious illness that was plaguing his godson confirmed._

_"How long has he been like that?"  
"He's not been well the day before yesterday, and yesterday it looked as if he was coming down with the flu. Only this night it got worse, and he got this skin rash since this morning."_

_Serena nodded._

_"Did he eat?"_

_"Not much. Some soup and toast yesterday for lunch, after that he only took water and tea. He said he wasn't hungry."_

_Serena looked down at the child who had dozed off again during the past minutes._

_"I'm fairly sure it's chickenpox", she said after a moment. Before Remus could say anything, Janus interrupted._

_"What?"_

_"Chickenpox, Janus. That's a muggle children's sickness."_

_"But Harry is a wizard..."_

_"Oh, don't be daft, Janus."_

_Remus had to hide a smile at Serena's words. There weren't many people who dared to talk to Janus like that, and even less who could do so without really pissing Remus' older brother completely off. Obviously, Serena belonged to those few, a privilege Remus wasn't even sure he had himself._

_"Just because he is a wizard doesn't make him immune against muggle diseases." She turned to Remus._

_"He has muggle friends?"  
Remus nodded.  
"When have you given him the last fever-reducing potion?"_

_Remus checked his watch._

_"Slightly more than two hours ago."_

_Serena felt Harry's forehead again._

_"His fever is too high for that. He needs a different medication, something stronger. It'd be best if you called his doctor up and asked him to come over as soon as he can. I can recognize Chickenpox, but I'm not experienced in treating them."_

_Remus nodded thoughtfully._

_"If it helps to make him better again._ I just hate it when he's sick."__

_Remus swung his left leg down from the mattress again, but he didn't get much farther. As soon as Harry realized that his godfather's comforting presence moved away from him, he woke up from his fitful slumber and weakly grabbed Remus' sleeve with both hands._

_"Don't go! You promised!"_

_"Shhh, it's alright Harry. I'll just call the doctor, I'll be back in a minute."  
"NO! Don't go!"_

_Helplessly, Remus smoothed his hand through Harry's sweaty hair and looked pleadingly at Janus. "Could you call Dr. Mitchell, please?"_

_Janus grinned. "You'll let that old quack doctor treat Harry? I remember I've never felt worse than when he treated my Dragonpox."_

_"No Janus, you felt that bad because of the Dragonpox. Just imagine how much worse it would have felt without Dr. Mitchell and the potions he gave you."_

_Janus waved him off and turned towards the door. "All right, all right, I'll call him. And when I'm already downstairs, I'll try to reach Dad and tell him why we can't come to Aunt Estelle's party."_

_"We, Janus?"___

_"You don't think I'll go and have the time of my life at her birthday party while my little brother has to deal with a sick child all by himself, do you? Remus, really, not even I could be that heartless."_

_"Sure. And you have been looking forward to seeing her again that much, it's a real pity you can't go."_

_Janus just waved over his shoulder and walked out of the door. Remus turned towards Serena and could not suppress a grin as he saw her completely helpless expression._

_"What was that all about? I already knew that Janus wasn't looking forward to that birthday party, but what is that with him and this doctor?"_

_Remus laughed out loud._

_"Well, Janus hates Dr. Mitchell with a passion." Seeing Serena's still lost expression, Remus explained further. "Dr. Mitchell is an old friend of our father's, and he's always treated us as children when we were sick. And Janus – as you might already know – is the world's most horrible patient. He thinks he's about to die whenever he gets the flu, and when he's sick he suspects all doctors of treating him wrongly, making him feel worse on purpose. Dad and I used to call it the worldwide conspiracy of doctors against Janus Lupin. Doctors and Janus just don't mix...well, or at least so I thought until a while ago." He smiled at her. "Maybe it's just for certain doctors."_

_Serena smiled. "So far, he's not been sick, but now that you've told me, I can't help but look forward to it. It sounds like this could be fun."  
Remus just shook his head._

_"You don't even begin to know what you've let yourself in for."_

_He reached for the bowl with water on Harry's bedside table and began to wipe the child's forehead with the cold and wet cloth. As if knowing what was going on in his mind, Serena smiled encouragingly._

_"As soon as the doctor comes he should be able to do something about the fever. Then the worst will be over and he'll sleep it off."_

_Remus nodded and was about to repeat something when raised voices started arguing downstairs and Harry stirred, risen by them._

_"And that would be Janus talking to Dad. Shhh pup, it's alright. The doctor will be here soon and then you'll be better in no time."_

_Dr. Mitchell indeed arrived only moments later, followed closely by Janus and Richard who were arguing loudly without bothering to lower their voices. Harry watched them enter the room from fever-glazed eyes and began to cry silently at the sight. At normal times Harry was already extremely sensitive to people around him arguing and shouting. The child didn't like the sound of raised voices and always shrank back when Richard, Janus or Remus were arguing with each other, afraid it might have been him who had cause the argument. And now with the fever wracking through his body it was worse, making him even more touchy about it. Remus noticed Harry's discomfort immediately and soothingly ran his hand through the child's hair, his other arm protectively around Harry's slim shoulders. The glare Remus shot at his father and brother was extremely dark._

_"Could the two of you be a bit more quiet?", he hissed, drawing Richard's and Janus' attention, "You're upsetting Harry!"_

_Both immediately fell silent and Richard stepped over towards the bed where Remus sat. He was already wearing his dress robes and seemingly Janus had just caught him before he had left for his sister's birthday. His expression softened immediately when he looked at the sick child who had buried his tear-stained face in his pillow, his shoulders still shaking slightly under Remus' hands._

_"What's wrong with Harry? Why didn't you call me earlier?"  
Remus rolled his eyes._

_"Harry is sick, I didn't call you earlier because it only got worse this night. And now could you all maybe let Dr. Mitchell have a look at Harry?"_

_"Thank you Remus." Dr. Mitchell, an extremely small man who towered Filius Flitwick maybe by one head, tried to push his way through between Richard and Janus. "Maybe you all better wait outside while I have a look at the child. Sick children don't really need an audience, you know?"_

_Hesitantly, Janus, Richard and Serena left the room, but Richard's face clearly told that he intended to discuss the matter of his sister's birthday party and Janus' attendance further while Harry was being examined. Remus breathed a sight of relief when the three had left and no sound from outside indicated that further arguing was going on._

_Dr. Mitchell unpacked his things onto the bedside table and then indicated that he needed to see more of Harry, who by now had completely buried himself between his pillow, Remus and his blanket, to examine the child. Mitchell hopped onto the bed and sat down, his wand lying on his thigh, while Remus gently nudged Harry._

_"Harry? Come on pup, Dr. Mitchell is here and needs to look at you."_

_Slowly, Harry disentangled himself from his blankets and looked at Mitchell, his face scrunched up from crying and covered in red spots that had gotten more and more distinct over the past hours. Dr. Mitchell smiled at him._

_"Hey Harry. How are you feeling?"_

_The four year old bit his lip and leaned his head against Remus' hip._

_"Sick."_

_"Shall we look how to make you feel better?"_

_Harry shrugged and nodded at the same time, and Mitchell took this as an invitation to start the examination. For the next minutes, he waved his wand over Harry, muttered spells, wrote things down on parchment and frowned from time to time. After he had finished, he turned towards Remus._

_"When did you give Harry the last fever-reducing potion?"_

_"It's been nearly two and a half hours."_

_"A normal children's dose?"___

_Remus nodded. Mitchell again wrote something down on his parchment, then he looked up at Harry and smiled._

_"Well Harry, it seems that you indeed have the chickenpox. But don't worry, that's nothing we can't deal with. You'll have to stay in bed for some days and I'm afraid you'll also have to take some potions, but you'll be fine again in no time."  
Harry just looked at the small doctor, his eyes already dropping close again._

_"Remus, I'll leave you a stronger potion against the fever and something that lets him sleep better. As I said, Harry will be sick for a couple of days, but it should get better within the next twenty-four hours. He'll sleep most of it off on his own, you just have to look that his fever doesn't get too high and that he drinks enough. Did he eat regularly?"_

_Remus shook his head no. "Not during the past day. He said he wasn't hungry."_

_"Yes, that was to be expected. You should try to give him some soup later today, though. He needs some nourishment. His appetite should get better during the next two days, then you'll have to make sure he gets some fruit and juice, or vegetables. He'll need the vitamins."_

_Remus nodded. "What about the skin rash?"  
"That'll be the unpleasant part about it. He'll get pustules all over his body, and they'll start itching. I'll leave you a potion to treat them with, an in about a week they'll be nearly gone again. He also shouldn't get in touch with other children for the next week, he's contagious. You and your brother don't need to worry about that, though. I clearly remember you and especially Janus having the Dragonpox, that should make you immune against them. It's kind of the magical equivalent of the chickenpox, so we don't need to worry about the two of you getting sick. Merlin help us should your brother just have a raised temperature by the end of the day!"_

_Both men laughed, imagining what kind of catastrophe that would be. Though, Remus had to admit, that would give Serena just the possibility he had been talking about earlier – getting to know the hypochondriac side of Janus Lupin._

_While Harry was drifting off into a blissful, potion-induced sleep, Remus went downstairs with Dr. Mitchell to see him out. The rest of the family wasn't in the hall or kitchen when Remus bid the small doctor goodbye and again thanked him for coming over immediately, so Remus assumed they had settled down in the living room. He indeed found them there, settled on the sofa and in the armchairs, Richard and Janus lowly discussing what seemed to be the need for Janus to remain with his brother and Harry. They fell silent when Remus entered the room, eying him expectantly._

_"And?"___

_Remus waved them off and let himself fall into his favourite armchair._

_"It's the chickenpox, just like Serena said. Dr. Mitchell said it would take about a week until Harry's fine again. He left a different medication for him and right now the pup's asleep, and I think I'll do the same." He rubbed his eyes wearily. "Didn't get that much sleep at all last night."_

_Hesitantly, Remus raised his head and looked into his father's eyes._

_"I really can't make it to Aunt Estelle's birthday tonight. I can't leave Harry alone, and bringing while he's sick just doesn't work. Besides, I'm dead on my feet, I don't make good company right now."_

_"That's all right, Remus, I'm sure she'll understand. You on the other hand", Richard turned towards Janus and glared a little at his older son, "will have some serious explaining to do to her. And don't expect me to come to your help when she comes apparating into your living room tomorrow with a lecture on her lips."_

_Remus frowned at his older brother._

_"You're not going, either?"_

_Janus shook his head._

_"No. Because you'll explain Harry's medication to me and then you'll get some sleep yourself while I have an eye on the little one."_

_Under any other circumstances, Remus would have told his brother that he didn't need to do this. But he knew that Janus wasn't really keen on going to the birthday, and if he was honest Remus would really appreciate the chance of getting some sleep back without having to worry about Harry. With Janus there he'd know the pup to be in the best of hands, and already thinking about his bed made Remus sleepy. So right now he merely nodded into his brother's direction, barely noticing that Richard and Serena said goodbye and left. He would have fallen asleep right there and then had not Janus nudged him awake again and seen to it that he got upstairs and into his bed._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

The next morning found Janus still on the living room sofa, a place to wake up which made him frown. It had been quite some time since he had last been forced to sleep on the sofa, and that had been for a different reason altogether. If he remembered right, it had had something to do with him getting absolutely drunk and Serena getting absolutely pissed off about it. Janus frowned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. The clock on the mantelpiece told him that it was quarter to seven, meaning he had gotten slightly more than two hours of sleep after all.

His head throbbed painfully, reminding Janus that he had spent the past night after waking up around nine and eating something with result-less staring, thinking, reading and rearranging of files. No matter how he turned it, the case around the Azkaban raid and Harry's abduction just didn't make sense.

With a loud sigh, Janus rose from the sofa, stretched his aching back and made his way towards the bathroom. On his way he made a stop in the kitchen, using one of the few household spells he knew to set the coffee boiling and the breakfast prepare itself.

The hot water of the shower was exactly what Janus needed after this night, loosening the knots in his stiff muscles. His thoughts drifted off to what he could possibly do today. He'd visit Remus after breakfast, to check out how his little brother was holding up. If Serena was right and Remus had been fighting with their father, Janus would have to see just how bad it was. The last thing they needed right now was them being at each other's throat.

After the shower Janus still didn't feel particularly ready to face the day, especially another one like the last two, but it wasn't as if he had a choice in that matter anyway.

When he left the bathroom, crying from across the hall attracted his attention. Janus quickly turned towards his daughter's room, intending to calm Julia down before she woke Serena up. But his wife too must have heard their daughter's crying, but as she stepped out of the bedroom and saw Janus heading towards Julia's room, she quickly turned towards the bathroom, one hand clamped tightly over her mouth and a sickly green colour visible on her face.

Janus frowned concernedly, but quickly turned his attention back to Julia's cries. When he reached her room, the little girl was standing up in her bed, trying to climb over the protective side-bars and wailing because she didn't manage. Upon seeing her father she stopped crying and stretched out her small, still somewhat chubby arms.

"Up! Up!"

Janus smiled and only too willingly complied. As soon as she found herself in her father's arms, Julia immediately stopped crying.   
"Good morning, princess. Sleep well?"

Julia only snuggled closer to James, the pink teddy bears on her nightshirt clashing horribly with her father's dark red robe.

"How about breakfast? Are you hungry?"

Julia excitedly clapped her hands and her face lightened up.

"'tchup! 'tchup!"

Janus  laughed. "Princess, I doubt you'll get ketchup for breakfast. But I'm sure we'll find something else for you."

"'tchup!"

Janus sighed. His daughter had taken a sudden liking for ketchup during the past couple of weeks, demanding to eat just about anything with it, but so far breakfast had been the sacred exception from that liking. Until today, it seemed. He carried Julia down into the kitchen and poured himself some coffee. When he had finally convinced Julia that her cereal would taste far better with a banana than with ketchup, and he sat down with his own toast, Serena came into the kitchen.

She was wearing Janus' dark blue bathrobe which was a couple of sizes too big for her, and her face was extremely pale. Janus immediately hurried towards her, taking his wife into a long, steadying embrace.

"You alright, love?"

Serena nodded into his shoulder. "Yes. I must have eaten something wrong yesterday, that's all."

Janus led her over towards the table and poured her some tea, all the while watching his wife concernedly. Serena smiled at him.

"I'm alright, Janus. Really. I'll eat some toast now and in half an hour my stomach will be fine again."

As if to underline her words, Serena took a piece of toast and spread some butter on it. With growing concern Janus watched her add jam and peanut butter. Things didn't get better when Julia watched her mother and clapped her hands in excitement. "'tschup!" Serena smiled at her daughter.

"Sweetheart, that's a wonderful idea."

And she reached for the ketchup bottle on top of the fridge, pouring some over her toast.

Janus only shuddered but decided not to comment on Serena's strange breakfast combination. They finished eating without haste and Janus was glad that he could take his mind off of things for a moment. He already knew that the rest of the day would be filled with straining visits to Remus' bedside and even more desperate attempts to make some sense of it all, to find Harry. The least he could do was try and take his mind off for now.

They had just finished and Serena had come back downstairs with a washed up and dressed Julia on her hip when the fireplace in the living room sprang to life. There were only few people who knew the password to Janus' fireplace, in fact only Lucas, Richard and Remus, but nevertheless Janus' hand automatically moved towards his wand holster in his left sleeve.

I immediately let go off his wand however, when he saw just who had arrived. Richard came storming into the kitchen, as pissed off as Janus had ever seen his father. Richard's face was flushed and his eyes blazed with anger, warning every sensible person to stay away from him.

"Where is he?", he barked out harshly.

"Good morning dad, how are you? Do you want a cup of coffee?"

Richard stared at Janus for a moment, seemingly irritated by his light and conversational tone, then waved him off and was about to start a tirade when Julia interrupted him. Seemingly uncaring about Richard's obvious fury she struggled against her mother's hold and stretched out her hands towards her grandfather.

"Gran'pa! Gran'pa!"

Richard's expression immediately softened and he obediently took Julia out of Serena's arms, placing her on his hip instead. Thus calmed, Richard sat down at the table and accepted the cup of coffee his son was handing him, shifting Julia into a more comfortable position on his lap.

"Where is he?" Richard repeated, more calmly this time. Janus took a sip of his own coffee.

"Where is who?"

"Your brother."  
"Remus?"  
"You have another brother I don't know of?"  
Janus sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"No. But last I heard, Remus was in St. Mungo's. You know that."

Richard shook his head.

"He isn't there anymore. I went over to visit him this morning, but his bed was empty. Scared at least ten years of my life out of me, I thought something had happened, that his condition worsened or that he had another seizure like yesterday."

A look of concern crossed Janus' face.

"What happened?"

"When I asked the doctor, I got told that he got himself released at his own risk first thing in the morning."

Janus gasped and stared disbelievingly at his father.

"What? He had a serious seizure not only twenty-four hours ago, not to mention that Black nearly killed him the day before that. I thought they'd keep him in hospital for at least another week or so!"

"I know." Richard nodded wearily, ignoring the way Julia was squirming in his lap, obviously unsettled by the sudden change of mood in the room. Serena took this as her clue to take the little girl away from her grandfather's lap and carry her upstairs. Julia protested a little against being taken away from her father and grandfather, but eventually allowed her mother to take her upstairs.

Janus went over towards his father, put a hand around his arm and pulled him to his feet.

"Let's go into the living room, it's more comfortable there. We'll think about something, I promise."

Richard followed his son wordlessly and sank down onto the sofa. Janus sat down bedside him and watched him with a worried expression on his face.

"I was hoping he had come here."

Janus shook his head.

"I don't think so, Dad. Just remember that Remus is still furious with me for not telling him about Black earlier. I don't think he'd come here if he had another choice."

"I was at his place, but he's nowhere around the house. I guess he has been there shortly this morning, because there were clothes lying around in his room and it looked as if he had been in Harry's room as well. I called up Claire and even went into the bookstore, but nobody has seen him today. I left messages for him everywhere to call me or you immediately, though. I don't know where he could have gone to. I just don't know."

Richard exhaled deeply, making it sound more like a weary sigh. It was obvious that there was something more bothering him and Janus could already guess what this was.

"Dad, what happened in the hospital yesterday?"

Richard looked up, frowning as if he didn't know what Janus was talking about.

"When? What do you mean?"

"Serena told me that she found you stewing angrily in the cafeteria when she went to visit Remus. The two of you were fighting?"

"You know your brother. When he woke up, he immediately wanted to get out of bed and do something to help search Harry. No wonder he got himself released this morning, I should have known how stubborn he is.

I...I told him that there was nothing he could do for Harry right now, and that he had to see that he himself was getting better, but he just didn't listen to me. You know how stubborn he can be. We got into a fight, I told him that not everything had to be done by him and that he'd be of no use if he collapsed again and his health only got worse. I got really angry and told him that I'd have something better to do with my time and strength than to help him patch himself up again if he collapsed needlessly. Then I stormed off and when I returned this morning he wasn't there anymore."

Janus squeezed his father's shoulder gently and then pushed him into a lying position on the sofa. It had not gone unnoticed by him that Richard looked more weary than he had ever seen him. There were dark circles under his bloodshot eyes, he didn't seem to have shaved this morning and his hands were shaking ever so slightly. And what they definitely didn't need right now was another member of their family collapsing from exhaustion, Harry's abduction and Remus' disappearance in his current state was more than enough to deal with already.

Richard tried to protest, but Janus just didn't give him a chance to say something. Instead, he picked up the blanket he had discarded earlier upon getting up and spread it across Richard.

"When was the last time you slept? And I don't mean dozed off for an hour or two."  
Richard shrugged wearily. "I don't know. Not since all this happened, I guess."

"Try to get some sleep, Dad. I'll wake you as soon as I get to know something."

Richard tiredly nodded and leaned back into the pillows. He was sure that he couldn't sleep anyway, but for Janus' sake he'd at least pretend to be trying. He was weary beyond measure, that was true, but he was just too restless and worried to relax enough for sleep now. Janus seemed to guess as much as well, because a moment later he returned to the living room with a goblet in his hands. Richard eyed him warily.

"What's that?"  
"Sleeping potion. You look as if you might need it."  
Richard shook his head feverishly. "No. It's well meant, but I won't get myself drugged."

Janus just raised an eyebrow and looked down at his father, an extremely authoritarian look on his face. Were the situation any different, it might have made Richard laugh. How many times had he been the one in Janus' position, trying to convince one of his stubborn sons that what he intended for them was only the best. And now he was the one who was being stubborn, refusing to see that maybe sleeping now was the best for him, though he so desperately wanted to do something.

Janus pushed the goblet into Richard's hand, making clear that 'no' was not an answer he would accept from his father.

"Drink it. It's a small dose, hardly enough to make you sleep for two or three hours and weak enough so that I can wake you in case something happens."

With a sigh, Richard rose into a half sitting position and drained the potion in one gulp. He made a face, not unlike the grimaces Janus always made when he was forced to drink a healing potion, and sank back into the pillows.  
"But wake me if you hear something. Promise."  
Janus nodded and took the goblet from his father's hand again.

"I will. Now try to sleep."

Janus turned and left the room, heading for his study. There he sank down in his favourite armchair which he had removed from the living room and placed in front of the fireplace here. Often when he was faced with a problem, or had something on his mind Janus sat down here, stared into the fire and thought things through. It didn't bring him closer to the solution every time, but it helped him relax and get his mind sorted out.

It was just so weird, nothing in this case seemed to fit together.

Azkaban had been raided, by whom was still unknown, and Voldemort's most dangerous supporters – at least the ones who had not been turned into mad but empty shells in Azkaban – had escaped. Somebody in the Ministry must have helped the intruders, because the wards around the island had not been breached. There had been an internal investigation, Janus and Lucas themselves had been involved and interrogated the Aurors who were responsible for guarding the wards around Azkaban, but nothing had turned up about the leak in the Ministry. Somebody from their own ranks was supporting those who had freed the Death Eaters, but whoever it was had been clever enough to cover up all of their traces.

Black's escape was a mystery itself. The wardens had been killed in his cell, and even though that might have been coincidence there was still the one warden who had shown signs of being attacked by an animal. Now that Janus knew Black was an illegal animagus it made a bit more sense. Obviously Black had killed that warden in his animagus form, but why still wasn't entirely clear. If Black's former buddies had already been in the prison, killing the other wardens, then it had not been necessary for him to kill the single warden that brutally. But maybe Black just had seized his first opportunity to kill in more than five years, Janus could not know how that man's mind was working. Maybe it just didn't have a reason at all, maybe Black had gone mad in prison and had just seized his chance to kill. Maybe there wasn't a reason which a sane man could understand.

But Black had escaped that night and with him being an illegal animagus without anybody's knowledge it was no big wonder that he had not been captured. But then again, none of the other escaped prisoners had been either. Their number had been smaller than the Unspeakables had anticipated right after the raid, obviously truly only the ones who were still relatively sane or who could be useful to their purpose had been taken. The mad ones had been left in their cells, and the prisoners who had not been Death Eaters but who had been imprisoned out of different reasons or for minor crimes had been locked up in one part of the prison.

But somehow, Janus didn't think that Black had taken refuge with the other Death Eaters, at least not immediately. No, he imagined that after getting reacquainted with his former 'colleagues' and getting informed about whatever it was they were planning, Black had headed south, towards Kent. Apparating or the use of portkeys and fireplaces could have attracted unwanted attention to him, so Janus guessed that Black had travelled in his disguise as a dog, and when he had finally reached Highley he had headed straight to Remus' place, intending to finish what had not been finished five years ago. Maybe he had thought Remus dead or as good as dead after cursing him, he surely would not have left him had he considered the effect Remus' lycanthropy could have on him in that situation. But why he had not just killed Harry remained a mystery to Janus.

Five years ago, Black had delivered Harry's family to Voldemort, accepting that the Dark Lord would kill both his parents and the boy without mercy or remorse. If Black wanted to finish what his master had not been able to do all those years ago, why go the lengths and abduct Harry? And where to take him? If he had taken him to the Death Eater hideout, there had to be a reason for it.

And as if that wasn't enough, there were those two attacks that showed every sign of being the work of Death Eaters. Fudge had been very insistent on the investigations on those cases being ended as soon as possible, but as the Minister had been denying the possibility of Voldemort's return from the beginning on Janus wasn't surprised. Death Eater activity just didn't fit into that picture.

But Janus had seen the crime scenes, and every instinct told him that it had been Death Eater work, and throughout the years Janus had learned to trust those instincts. But the sudden closing of the cases had meant that Janus could not look into them as much as he had wanted to, and so he was just unable to make a connection between those murders and everything that had happened after the Azkaban raid. But there was a connection, Janus only had to find it.

So far, the only existing connection was Harry. Harry was not a seer and he had never had visions before, but somehow he had dreamt about those attacks. And now Harry was gone. Was that the reason why Black had taken the child instead of merely killing him? But where was the sense in that?

Janus sighed and rubbed his eyes with his thumbs and forefingers.

He'd have another look into the files that had been left. As soon as Ryder got to know that he had not returned them yesterday evening as he had been supposed to, and that even worse he had not shown up for work today, he'd have somebody from the Department standing in front of his door to collect them. The solution was somewhere in those files, Janus knew, he just had to find it. There was something he didn't see.

Nearly three hours later Serena stuck her head into the room only to find her husband sitting on his desk, his head bent over a stack of parchments in front of him. Janus didn't even seem to realize her presence, so focussed was he on what he was doing. While he was reading, his right hand was busy writing things down on a spare piece of parchment. Janus wasn't even looking at what he was writing.

Serena cleared her throat twice until Janus finally looked up. He seemed a bit surprised to see her standing in the doorway.

"You've been standing there for long?"

Serena laughed. "About two or three minutes maybe. You were so wrapped up in your work you didn't notice."

"Sorry."

She waved him off.

"Nothing to be sorry about. Actually, I just wanted to know if you want to eat something, it's half past one."

Janus shook his head.

"No, I'm not hungry. And I need to get those files worked through before Ryder sends somebody to fetch them." He thought for a moment. "Dad is still asleep?"

"Yes, he's lying on the sofa, sleeping like a baby. I guess that even when the potion wears off, he'll be out of it for a while longer if nothing wakes him. Though I already had to restrain Julia from waking him up."

"Maybe you should give her some ketchup to calm her down for a while."  
"Janus, that's not funny! Just because you let her get away with everything doesn't mean that there's no need to give her a bit of an education and some rules. Not eating ketchup whenever she likes being somewhere on top of the 'no' list."

"I know, I know. Sorry. I just have so many things on my mind at the moment, I might be neglecting the husband and father aspect of it all a bit."

Serena walked around the desk and put her hands on Janus' shoulders from behind, gently massaging them.

"You're doing quite alright, Janus. But you're brooding too much, you're wearing yourself out."

"It's just that I have the feeling that the solution to the problem is right in front of my eyes, but that I don't see it. And I can't stand the thought that Harry might get hurt because I didn't see the obvious clues in time." He turned around and looked into Serena's eyes, a tired and haunted look on his face. "The little one might be hurt, Serena. Or worse. He might be suffering somewhere, or maybe it's already too late because I can't find out where he is. He's all alone and helpless, and we don't come for him because we don't know where he is. We don't even know if he's still alive."

Janus let his head sink down onto his chest and Serena wrapped her arms around him from behind, holding him tightly. She desperately wanted to tell him that it was all right, that they would find Harry and bring him back, but she knew that Janus would not believe her platitudes. She herself didn't believe that it would all necessarily turn out all right. The longer they didn't find Harry, the smaller the chances became that they'd bring him back alive, Serena knew that. She didn't think it was Janus' fault, but knowing how protective her husband was of his little brother and of Harry, she also knew that it would be a hard thing to convince him of that. So she just held on to him tightly for some minutes longer, finally breaking the embrace and giving him a kiss on the top of his head.

"Maybe you should try to take your mind off those files for some time nevertheless. You've stared at them ever since yesterday afternoon and haven't found anything. You might be trying too hard, maybe it'll be easier to find something if you take your mind off for a while first."

Janus stared ahead for some moments, then he nodded.

"You're right. Maybe I should go and see what Julia's up to."

Serena rolled her eyes.

"I left her in the kitchen, and maybe you can convince her that there will be no ketchup with the food, no matter how many tantrums she'll throw."

Janus sighed heavily.

"Didn't we agree that when Julia is concerned you're the evil Mum who forbids her everything that's fun and I'm the good Daddy who allows her anything?"

"No, you decided that because from the very first moment on you were completely unable to say no to your daughter. About time you learned it, if you ask me."

Janus got up from his chair, playfully stuck out his tongue towards his wife and then left the room, heading for the kitchen. Serena looked after him, shaking her head, a slight smile on her face and one hand pressed against her belly. After a moment's hesitation she followed him into the kitchen, intending to make sure that at least just for once Janus would not give in to their daughter.

Richard woke up around three in the afternoon, a bit grumpy that nobody had woken him up. By then, Janus had already been through a quite upsetting shouting match with Lucas who had arrived shortly after lunch to collect the files Janus had failed to deliver. Lucas' mood definitely had not improved since the last afternoon, if anything he had been even more angry at his partner. The two of them had retired into the study, a silencing charm preventing anything form their conversation to reach Richard's or Serena's ears.

There had never been a time when Janus had wanted to throttle his partner, but that afternoon he came close. For all those years of working together, Janus had always thought he could rely completely on Lucas, no matter what the problem was. That his partner had gone telling on him at Ryder's stung deeply, and Janus was stubborn enough not to back down on that one. That was why he was not exactly polite to Lucas when his partner admonished him about not returning the files to their boss. Instead he just shrank the files, pushed them into Lucas' arms and told him in non too friendly terms what he thought of his attitude.

The previous afternoon, Lucas had told Janus that he didn't know if he could still trust him, but slowly Janus realized that this feeling was becoming mutual. Never had he imagined that when it came to the crunch, Lucas would not stand on his side. Surely, there had been disagreements before, about private matters between them as well as about different views on their respective cases, and surely they had shouted at each other before in the heat of the moment, but never before had Janus had the feeling that Lucas was not on his side. Never until now, that was.

Janus knew that he had overstepped a boundary when he had told Remus and especially Albus Dumbledore about Black's escape and yes, he knew that he was not as objective as he should be when Remus was concerned, but that this was enough to drive a wedge between him and his partner was still something Janus could not completely comprehend.

Before that conversation, Janus had intended to tell Lucas about Remus' disappearance and had wanted to ask him to keep his eyes and ears open in case he heard something about him, but after shouting at each other for about fifteen minutes he dismissed that thought. Janus had enough sources in the Ministry even without his partner, he really didn't need to bear his attitude at the moment. So instead he slammed the door shut behind Lucas, kicking hard against the wood for good measure.

After Lucas had left, Janus paced his study angrily, muttering curses under his breath until he had calmed down a little. Then he placed a couple of calls to the Ministry, telling Maggie and some acquaintances in the Auror Department about Remus' disappearance, asking them to notify him in case any news about him turned up. Then he called up the few hospitals in the area as well as St. Mungo's to make sure that his brother had not collapsed again and been brought to one of the hospitals, but he came up empty handedly. After calling up Remus' fireplace without result and talking to Claire and even Professor Dumbledore with equally little outcome, Janus was at a complete loss as to what to do.

That was when Richard woke up and grumpily complained about not being woken up earlier.

There were still shadows under his eyes, and it was obvious that he still lacked another couple of hours of sleep, but at least he didn't look about collapse anymore. Janus told him what had had happened while he had been asleep, and Richard's face fell as he realized that there was still no trace of his younger son anywhere.

"You think we should report him missing?"

Janus sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know if that would be effective. He's a grown up man and he's not actually 'missing' as such. Just because he's not been in contact for the past hours won't make the DMLE go searching for him. I asked a couple of people in the Ministry to keep their ears open, maybe we'll know some more this evening. Else, I don't know where to search for him anymore. He's nowhere where he's normally to be found, not even at Hogwarts. I'm afraid we'll just have to wait for him to come back."

The worried look on Richard's face didn't disappear despite all of Janus' reassurances, and Janus actually hadn't expected it to. Richard would always worry about Remus, and right now with everything that had happened this only increased. And there was nothing Janus could do about this, no matter how hard he tried.

"Dad, Remus will come back home as soon as he gets into his thick head that he won't find Harry on his own."

Richard just shook his head.

"That's not what worries me, Janus. I'm scared that while he is so absorbed in finding Harry, Black will find him."

Janus remained silent after this, there was simply nothing to say. If Black found Remus, he was sure that his little brother would not get away relatively unharmed again. He'd most probably not get away alive again, not with him being as exhausted and confused as he was right now. Janus didn't even want to consider the possible outcome if Black found his brother before he turned up again.

Half an hour later Richard left for home, unable to sit and wait anymore. Janus could understand that feeling, but at the same time he was aware that they had absolutely no idea what else they could do to find him. Remus was a grown up man, and surely able to defend himself should the need arise, intelligent enough to know when a situation got dangerous, but right now he wasn't quite himself and Janus' guess was as good as anyone's as to where he might be.

Serena did her best to try and distract her husband, but not even playing with Julia could make him relax. If there was one thing Janus really hated, then it was being helpless, and right now that was exactly how he was feeling.

That feeling still lasted on, the tension in the air so thick that it was nearly touchable when at shortly past five the front door to the house opened. Serena was upstairs with Julia, thus didn't hear it, but Janus immediately got up from the armchair in his study and hurried towards the hall. 

Remus was standing in front of him, hanging his summer coat onto the wardrobe as if this was the most normal thing in the world.

"Remus?"

His brother turned and Janus flinched back a little as he took a closer look at him. Remus was still extremely pale, and despite the fact that it was a relatively cold day there was a thin layer of sweat on his brow. With one hand he held on to his coat at the wardrobe, as if to keep himself from falling over. Without another word, Janus took his arm and literally dragged him into the living room, placing him on the sofa Richard had vacated earlier. He left the room and returned some minutes later with a glass of water, some Pepper-Up potion and a sandwich which he all forced Remus to take, eat and drink before he spoke again.

"What the bloody hell did you think you were doing?"

Remus swallowed the last bite of the sandwich, then frowned. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean?" Janus jumped up and built himself up in front of Remus, his posture every bit intimidating. Janus didn't even bother to lower his voice, and Remus obviously was quite surprised at being shouted at. But Janus wasn't quite finished yet.

"You're getting yourself released from hospital when it's obvious to everybody that you'd have needed to stay there for another couple of days at least, without telling anybody, you vanish for nearly an entire day in a bad physical condition, making Dad and me worry that you might collapse again somewhere without anybody there to help you and you have the guts to ask me what I mean?"

Not even giving Remus the chance to respond something Janus continued his tirade.

"Do you know how shocked Dad was when he wanted to visit you this morning? When he found your bed empty, got to know that you had gotten yourself released without anybody knowing where you had gone to? Do you have just the slightest idea what he and I have done to try and find you for the entire day? We called anybody we could think of, searched everywhere, called up the hospitals and I even asked some of my colleagues to keep an eye out for you! Do you have any idea how worried we've been? How worried Dad has been and still is? Fuck Remus, do you just once think about others before you storm off and do your own thing?"

Remus shook his head and stared at his brother in disbelief.

"Do I get this right and you are reprimanding me? Scolding me for not telling anybody what I was doing?"

Janus didn't even respond, instead he angrily stormed over towards the fireplace and threw some floo-call powder into it. He called up his father's fireplace, then knelt down and waited. It didn't take long until Richard responded.

"Janus?"  
"He's here."  
Without saying anything more, he got up and only moments later Richard stumbled out of the fireplace, his eyes darting through the room. As soon as they fell on Remus, a look of relief crossed his face, only to be replaced by one of seething anger immediately afterwards. He went over towards Remus and was just about to start his own tirade when Remus held up his hands in a defeated gesture to stop him.

"Stop it, Dad, please. I already got the lecture from Janus."

"You know what? I don't care about that! Not at all! Could you tell me why you just vanished without a trace, worrying all of us sick? Did you just take one moment to think before you did that? Why didn't you at least let us know where you were? And where the hell were you? Believe me, if you weren't too old for me to cream you, you'd have earned the spanking of your life for that stunt!"

Remus tiredly shook his head, knowing at least the last part to be an empty threat. Richard had never spanked them, that just was not like him. But both his brother and father were right, he had exhausted himself today and he felt it catching up rapidly.

Wearily, he leaned back into the sofa.

"I've been looking around, trying to find out where Sirius might be."  
"What???" Two voices chorused from beside him.  
Janus glared at him angrily, but before he could say something Remus raised a hand to stop him. 

"I didn't seek him out, I was just looking around at places I thought he might have gone to. His parents' house, some places around Hogsmeade from our time at school and the like. I'd not have tried to confront him in case I had found him, but I just needed to do something. And you'll have to agree that I know more about Sirius than any other person involved."

But Janus wasn't pacified that easily. "Why didn't you take anybody with you? Why go there alone, instead of asking me to come along?"

"Would you have let me, had you known about it?"  
"Of course not!" Janus weakly shook his head. This was not leading anywhere, and if he was honest with himself it was a line of thought he didn't want to pursue. Remus had not only been walking around on his own with Black on the lose, no – his idiot of a little brother had actually tried to seek Black out! And from what it looked like he didn't seem to realize how dangerous this had been. How bloody stupid it had been. And if Remus didn't understand that, Janus didn't have the will to explain it to him. He abruptly turned around and left the room, mumbling something about calling off the search for Remus before he vanished into his study.

There he called up Claire and Maggie, assuring the first that Remus was alive and well and asking the second to spread word about Remus' return to those whom he had asked to keep an eye out for him. Then he sank down into his favourite armchair, slowly counted to fifty, sang the national anthem twice and punched the armrests of the armchair a couple of times. After that, he felt calm enough again to face Remus without throttling him.

By he time he came back into the living room, Serena had come down, attracted by the sound of voices shouting downstairs. She was in the kitchen, from the looks of it scraping together a quick dinner. Richard and Remus still were where Janus had left them, Remus half sitting, half lying on the sofa with his eyes closed and Richard sitting in an armchair beside him, Julia in his arms and glaring daggers at Remus.

Janus sank down in another armchair and watched the two of them silently. Remus was back and he was still in one piece, that at least was something. But whatever he had done today, it had not brought them any closer to finding Black or Harry, either. They still had nothing, absolutely nothing, and slowly that thought was driving Janus insane.

The more time passed, the smaller chances became that they'd find the little one alive. Janus didn't know what the Ministry did to find Harry, but he knew a bit how the DMLE worked. And he knew that whatever they did, it might be too late or too slow, especially since they possibly neither knew about Black nor about the escaped Death Eaters. So all their chances to find Harry lay in the hands of the three exhausted men here in Janus' living room. That didn't exactly bode good.

Some time later, Serena called them into the kitchen and with a combined effort Janus and Richard forced a healthy portion of dinner as well as another dose of Pepper-Up Potion into Remus. It took effect, some of the colour came back to his face and he didn't look as if he was about to keel over any moment anymore, but nevertheless Janus had already decided not to let his little brother out of his sight for the next couple of hours. Remus had a tendency to overestimate his physical strength, something that went way back with him, and Janus had absolutely no intention to see him brought into the hospital again anytime soon.

He also planned to talk to Remus again, ask him to tell everything he could remember about Black no matter how painful it was. Maybe there was something in Black's common past with Remus that would bring them closer to finding Harry. It was some sort of last straw, Janus knew that. If that failed, then he didn't know what else to do. But he'd let Remus get some hours of rest first, his little brother still looked as if he could need it, despite all the potions.

After they had eaten, the three men returned in to the living room where Janus and Richard all but ordered Remus to lie down on the sofa and take a nap, something this sofa was used for a lot recently as it seemed, and Janus fetched his notes on the case from his study. He had already overstepped more than one boundary when he had told his family and Dumbledore about Black's escape, and right now he didn't think it would hurt any more to let his father know everything he had found out in the cases. Maybe Serena had been right this afternoon, maybe his involvement in the case and the fact that he had been staring at the files for hours on end had made him blind to the important facts. He handed his notes over to his father, asking him to read them. it was a slim chance, but maybe Richard would find something Janus had not seen.

It was half past nine when there was a tapping on the window, announcing the arrival of an owl.

With a frown, Janus got up from where he had been sitting and walked over to let the bird in. Richard stopped reading and Remus sat up from where he had been dozing off on the sofa.

As soon as Janus had opened the window, a large brown barn owl flew into the room and circled around once before settling on the table and stretching out its leg. A letter and a package wrapped in brown paper were tied to it. Remus who was sitting closest untied the bird's load, and without waiting for another beat the owl rose into the air again and soared out through the still opened window. 

Again, Janus frowned. He knew that owl, he just could not place it at the moment. But something about the bird had seemed very familiar. If he only had had time to look at it more closely. And who could send him letters and packages right now, late in the evening, without waiting for a reply? Janus absent-mindly stared out of the window to where the owl had vanished.

A choked cry from behind himself made him spin around immediately.

Remus was holding the letter in his hands, his face white as the walls and his whole body trembling. Richard had sat down beside him and stared at the parchment as well, and equally shocked expression on his face.

Janus hurried over towards them, leaning over the back of the sofa between his father and brother and taking the letter out of Remus' shaking hands. It was a small and crumpled piece of parchment, and there were only three words on it. In a childish scrawl, a bit shaky as if the writer had had problems to keep his hand steady, there stood a message that made the hairs on Janus' neck stand up.

_Help me Remus._

"Harry?"

Remus nodded slowly. "Yes. I...I think so, at least."

Janus got up into a standing position, the parchment still tightly in his hand. If Harry had really written that message, then at least he was still alive. Or had been alive long enough to write it, at least.

From the corner of his eye he caught movement and turned his head just in time to see Remus reach for the package that still lay on the sofa table. He unwrapped the brown paper as quick as his numb and shaking fingers would allow it, and Janus made a step towards him in alarm. He somehow had the feeling that whatever was in that package was not something Remus needed to see.

Btu it was too late for him to react, and before he could do something, Remus had finished unwrapping the package and with a shocked expression stared at the object it had contained. On the sofa table, in the middle of the brown wrapping paper, lay a stuffed animal. It's fur was battered and thinned out from years of use, and one of the glass eyes was hanging off loosely.

It was Harry's stuffed lion.

Remus stared at it for a moment, too stunned and shocked to do anything. There were tears streaming down his face, and after a moment's hesitation he stretched out his hand to reach for the lion.

At that moment all the alarm bells in Janus' head went off, every sense telling him that touching the stuffed animal was exactly the wrong thing to do. The back of his neck was prickling again and without thinking about it, Janus leaped forward.

"Remus, no!"

Richard turned towards them, frowning, but before he could do or say anything Janus had already thrown himself over the back lean of the sofa, his arm stretched out to swat away Remus' hand. He missed, though, because Remus shifted slightly to the side and Janus' hand came to rest on the lion at the precise moment when Remus grabbed for it.

Before he even hit the ground again, Janus had the sickening sensation of a huge tuck behind his navel as the portkey activated and took him and Remus away.  
  



	14. Cui Ci Sono Dei Mostri

Okay folks, here goes chapter 14. That was faster than last time, wasn't it?

The chapter is quite long again, but there are long A/Ns at the beginning, so if you're not interested in them you'll have to skip them.

**A/N:**

**Mia: Erm…yes, you see: when I posted the part about "Chapter 13 will be up in two weeks", I was convinced that it actually would be up in that time. I'm sorry that things again didn't work out as I thought. I learned my lesson, and from now on will refrain from making promises I can't keep. But the one big barrier is crossed, and I got myself some help (a big bow in front of Morgan D.) for the last obstacles I have to overcome, so I hope that things will go more smoothly from now on.**

But thank you for bearing the wait and for keeping up with me (though that poke in the eye hurt!).

Ah, and now I'm evil, yes? Well, thank you. *g*

**Mella **deRanged**: Now, if I'd answer that question, I could as well save myself the trouble of writing the last two or three chapters at all, couldn't I? All I can say is that I hope the end will be a bit surprising, gripping and shocking. I hope it'll work out. I can tell you that Sirius is not insane without telling too much. No, not insane. It's a bit more difficult with him, you know?**

**Nicky: Thanks, I'm doing my best to get the next update out faster. You're taking really wild guesses there, but from what I understood you got a thing or two wrong. Janus didn't lose his good position due to Lucas telling on him. They're both still in the same position than before – and partners – and the only disadvantage they'll have from what Lucas did is that they'll be closely observed for some time and maybe won't be given the high-explosive cases. But they haven't been degraded. And though you do a good job there in blaming everything on Lucas, I can tell you that he did not tell on Janus out of disloyalty. He just thought that **a)** Janus had done the wrong thing even though he had warned him ****b) it would be blamed on both of them as they're regarded as a team and **c)** because he thought that the consequences would be far worse if their boss found out about it from other sources. Lucas *did* warn Janus, you know?**

Who will be expecting them when they arrive? *g* Who said somebody would?

But you're perfectly right about Serena. LOL!

**NightSpear: Yes, I'm still there. You are right, the story *has* been moving slowly, or more slowly than any of my other stories at least, but you might have guessed after the end of chapter 13 that now things get moving. Quickly. Thanks for thinking I keep everyone in character. Even my OCs, I think it would be weird if they started acting differently in the end of the story than in the beginning. Thank you for the compliment.**

**A.Dee: Calm down. Breathe. All right? You weren't very communicative in your review. Sounded like a faint, to be honest. Breathe and trust me...oh well, maybe add a little prayer or two. *g***

**Anaxandra: Thanks a lot. I'm glad you like the style of the story. Though the flashback in this chapter is probably the last one. No, Serena's pregnancy won't play a big role in this story, it's just a little side-touch. I'm playing around with the idea of letting you all see Janus' whole family in one of the later chapters of "The Last MarauderRevised". Poor Janus. But it's definitely not important in the remaining chapters of this story.**

**Rykatu*L: Yes, I simply needed a Janus chapter right now. Yes, that portkey...**

**Azn **A**: Yes, the wonderful world of cliffhangers – welcome back! Oh come on, I had so few of them in this story. I know that the chapter was not eventful, but as you said it was needed. Both the chapter and the flashback mostly served for the purpose of shedding some more light on the character of Janus and his part of the family. But you might have guessed that things get moving now. I cut out the Harry scene and put it into this chapter. First for length reasons, and secondly because of chapter composition (yes, lately I've been paying attention to that one!). It just didn't fit into the Janus chapter.**

**Moongirl: I might have been accused of being evil lately, yes. Though I always try to take it as a compliment. *g***

**chips **challenge**: Why do they want Remus? Interesting question indeed. To answer that question, it would be interesting to know who 'they' are, wouldn't it? And then the next question would be "Who do they want to get whom?", but maybe that one is already answered when you find out who 'they' are. And why are you talking about 'they' by the way?**

I don't think it's all that surprising that Remus would try and search Sirius on his own. He's desperate, he wants to find Harry. Janus told him that Sirius has escaped from Azkaban and the logical deduction is that he has something to do with Harry's disappearance. He thinks he knows Sirius better than anybody else involved in the search, but he also knows that Janus and Richard would rather tie him to the bed before they let him go out and search fro Sirius in his current state. So he gets himself released from the hospital and starts looking for Sirius in the places where he thinks his former friend might have hidden, places he thinks the Ministry won't search. But I hope your wondering will stop in one or two chapters, then things should be clearer. Until then, I'm glad you like the story so far.

**Lisande: Oh, but cliffhangers are just so much fun! At least from this side of the story (meaning my place as the all-knowing author *g*). Thank you. Actually I don't really like Harry being sick, and the chicken/Dragonpox coincidence was not meant to be published so close to each other. The sick!Harry flashback was written mostly with the intention to introduce Serena in the flashbacks. I'm glad you liked Janus in this chapter, thanks. Somebody actually asked for more about Janus and his family, and I myself wanted to have some more of him in the story before...well, before the next couple of chapters come out. I'm doing my best not to take that much time again before the next update.**

**Fantome: I'm trying my best to get the next chapter out sooner. But who said it would contain the answer to where Janus and Remus were taken? There's so much that needs to be done before that could easily fill the next chapter without answering that particular question... *evil chuckle***

**Bookworm2000: Now don't laugh, but the reason why the chapter took so long to finish was that I had no idea how I could get Janus and Remus to the place where I wanted them to be. And then I thought '_this is a magical world we're talking about, isn't it?_', hit my head against something hard for about an hour or so and wrote the portkey scene. I was searching for a difficult answer to an easy question, actually. But you're right, the next chapters are going to be interesting for our dear protagonists. Not to mention confusing and taxing and scary and dangerous and exciting and ... well, you get the point.**

**Moony **Lover**: Thank you. Now, I can't answer that question, can I? Try answering it for yourself. Who could it be? Make a list of the suspects and cross out the ones who can't be it. The one who remains, no matter how unlikely, has to be the perpetrator. I think Arthur Conan Doyle always lets Sherlock Holmes say something along those lines. But to answer at least one of your questions: yes, definitely pregnant. Only Janus is a bit clueless about it, you know? If nobody told him, he possibly would not realize it until the baby was born. *g* Men.**

But which Auror-Death Eater thing are you talking about which you suspect Lucas about? I didn't quite get that reference.

**Aubretia **Lycania**: Hmmm, my dictionary gives me two translations for "dastardly": insidious and cowardly. I do hope you mean the first one. *g* I'm glad you like the flashback/present style of the story, I keep trying to connect the contents of both of them. Update ASAP, but I can't make any promises or give exact dates. But what's your id? *frowns***

**C. **Rose**: Do I have? Hmmm, maybe. But maybe not. You'll see.**

**Eva: You're definitely right about the upcoming excitement. Very much excitement indeed...**

**Shawny **Wong**: I'm glad you liked how I kept Janus in that chapter. But whether he feels more guilty because he and Remus didn't get along for so long is a difficult question to answer. But it's interesting that you should ask it. Let me put it this way: both of them have changed a lot since Voldemort's downfall, and they have definitely grown closer since then. But that does not answer the question whether the initial reason for their estrangement has been overcome completely. I say it's interesting that you ask about this because it will have to be seen in a later chapter. To give you an answer: Janus cares deeply for Remus, he definitely loves his little brother, but there are some issues he simply has not thought about for a couple of years. And they might re-surface. Might.**

**Blueberrie: Thank you!**

**Ms. **Issues**: Here you go! Thanks!**

**tcoflvrdkisses07: That name is a real pain to type, do you know that? Thank you, though, and here you go.**

**padfoot1979: Thank you! I'm glad that there are people who start liking Janus because he's very dear to me. You will get all your answers as the story concludes, so don't worry about that. And my next story will have far more Sirius in it, I promise.**

**Liara: *hands tissue for Liara's drooling problem* Thank you. But unfortunately I can't answer your questions now, you'll surely understand why. I'd not say you're gullible, I'd say you're suspicious, as it is your right to be. Well, but healthy or not Remus has grabbed that portkey and now he'll have to confront whatever is waiting for him. At least he has Janus to take care of him. *g* Thank you so much, I'm glad you like my characters. OCs are really hard to work out, they took me quite long to develop and I'm kinda proud of them.**

**Lady **Coia**: Yes, at least both of them went. Though Janus will be a bit angry about it, I can promise that much. Thank you so much for all your compliments, I'm just glad that you like the story and my writing style. So thank you very much and here is your update.**

**Sailor **Sol**: Thank you! And you definitely don't need to be sorry for not reviewing earlier, I'm glad about every review I get. I read "Enemies" regularly, and you're right that there are some similarities between Charly/Orion and Lucas/Janus. But on a closer look the similarities are more superficial than anything, but I think they seem so strong because the basic idea with the Unspeakables as something like an "Elite-Auror" unit and the partners there being close friends who trust each other completely is similar. But Charly is definitely more funny in his conversations with Orion, I always enjoy those. But I enjoyed it quite a bit when she started posting "Enemies" to find those little similarities, it's funny because none of us took the idea from the other (and I'm convinced that the stories will end up quite differently).**

**Morgan D.: I haven't even said Thank You yet, have I? Your comments on the chapter-parts I sent you helped a lot, though you won't find any remarkable changes in this chapter which had to be made after your comments. That might come next chapter...**

All right, unfortunately I didn't catch everybody who was so kind to leave a review. Sorry, but I appreciated all of them. **Thanks!**

A big **Thank** **You goes out to **Morgan** ****D. who took the time to pre-read this chapter and parts of the next chapter and commented on them to help me find out if the story was moving into the direction I want it to without being all too obvious about it.**

Well folks, that was faster than the last one, wasn't it?

By my momentary estimation we have about four to five chapters plus an epilogue left, so there's still something to come.

The first part of this chapter moves back a little to let you see what led to the last part of the last chapter.

As for now:

Enjoy!

**Cui Ci Sono Dei Mostri**

Harry had stopped struggling against being dragged down corridors and through rooms by the stranger who had hit him. There were still tears streaming down his face, and from time to time the child could not suppress a sob, but he did his best not to make any sounds. Too scared he was that the man in the dark robe might hit him again, might shout at him again and said more things he didn't want to hear.

Harry was still trying to understand what the man had told him when he had taken him out of the room Harry had woken up in. That Remus would not come to get him. Could not come and bring him home. That was what the man had said. That Remus was lucky if he still was alive. But Remus could not be not alive, could he? He was Remus, he would always be there. And Remus would come for him, Harry only had to hold on until he did.

Harry sniffed lowly and again wished that he still had Rory to hold on to. What would Remus say if he found out that Harry had lost the precious stuffed lion? It had been a gift, the first gift he had ever received from his godfather and now it was gone. Harry wanted his lion back, and even more so he wanted Remus to come and take him home. 

But Remus was still not here.

With quite a start Harry realized that the man who carried him had stopped moving. From out his tear-fogged eyes and glasses Harry saw the man fumble around with his wand in front of a locked door, then he roughly kicked it open and non-too gently pushed Harry inside where he landed on his bottom quite painfully. Before the child realized what was going on, he heard the lock snap shut behind him and again he was alone, in another dark room without a real window.

Panicky, Harry looked around the room with wide eyes and a trembling lower lip, no longer caring to wipe away his tears. Not even bothering to get up Harry scrambled backwards until his back came into contact with the wall, then he quickly pulled up his knees to his chest and tried to will himself to stop shivering.

What did that mean? Why had that man taken him out of the first room and dragged him around for minutes on end only to lock him up again in another room that looked just like the first, only that it had absolutely no furniture? Why? And what would come next?

Harry had never been so scared before ever in his entire life, and he didn't like that feeling at all. He was hungry and thirsty, shivering with nothing but his thin pyjamas to keep him warm, and his clothes were damp and dirty. And he was tired. If Harry had not been so scared, he could have closed his eyes there and then and slept for at least a day, but as it was fear and adrenaline were keeping him awake.

So he sat there, shivering and crying silently, waiting for what was to come.

Harry didn't know how much time had passed before he heard footsteps approaching in the corridor again. This time he didn't even allow himself to hope that it might be Remus who was finally coming for him. Nevertheless, Harry flinched back as the sound of the lock snapping open sounded unnaturally loud through the room. The door opened up and there was the man again, towering dangerously over Harry's shivering form. Totally scared, Harry buried his head in his arms and silently hoped that the man would go away.

But he didn't.

Of course.

Instead, Harry felt something being thrown into his lap. Confusedly, he looked up. A piece of parchment? When Harry looked up farther, he flinched as the man's icy eyes were still turned on his face, unwavering.

"Can you write?"

Automatically, Harry nodded, still too scared to speak. His breaths were coming in small gasps by now and his head was starting to ache.

"Then write."

It took Harry some moments to realize that the man was holding out a quill to him. But still, he didn't understand. What did the man want him to write? Why? He could spell, and in the past year in school he had learnt writing. He was quite good at it, though not really fast yet, but he didn't know why the man was asking him about that now.

"Write!"

"What?" It was a squeaky, shaking syllable, but it seemed to anger that man only further. He lifted his hand as if to strike Harry, but instead he grabbed Harry's left arm and held it tightly in a painful grip. Harry winced.

"You are daft, aren't you? Write to your godfather. Ask him for help. Actually, I don't care what you write as long as he recognizes your handwriting."

Harry didn't really understand anything of what the man was saying, the pain in his left arm was just too much for him to notice anything but. The man's fingers were digging in his flesh with bruising force and Harry could not help but cry out.

"Ouch! Stop...stop..."

The pressure on his arm was released a little, but not enough to completely stop it from hurting. The man laughed harshly.

"Write. As it seems, your precious godfather is miraculously still alive, so I think we invite him for our little gathering here, don't you think?"

If the situation had been different, and if Remus or another member of his family had used the word, Harry would have asked what a gathering was. But as the situation was, he wasn't even particularly interested in knowing. Something in the man's voice told him that it would not be good if Remus came here. Of course Harry wanted Remus to come and take him home, but what if that man here hurt his godfather, just like he had tried to hurt him? Harry didn't want Remus to be hurt, but he also didn't want the man to hurt his own arm again.

The man thrust the quill into Harry's right hand and pushed it towards the parchment.

"Will you finally start writing, or do I have to force you?"

Harry's hand was shaking too badly for him to even write something legible, and as he didn't immediately start writing the man increased the pressure on his arm again. Again, Harry cried out in pain.

"It can't be too difficult, can it? I don't want you to write a novel or a poem, so for Merlin's sake finally get it done! I don't have time for this!"

Harry pressed his eyes close tightly, and after a moment the man let go off his arm. Hesitantly, Harry opened his eyes again.

"Now, one last time. We can make this easy, or we can make it hard. Either you write something like 'Help me Remus' right now, or I will have to hurt you some more. It's your choice."

It wasn't really a choice, that much was clear even to a seven year old boy. And Harry didn't want that man to hurt him again, his arm was still aching even though the man had let go off it by now.

His hand still shaking, Harry brought the quill down on the paper and wrote the words the man had told him. The letters were shaky and didn't look too much like his own handwriting normally did, but Harry hoped that it was good enough for the man to just leave him alone again.

Without another word, the parchment was ripped out of Harry's hands, as was the quill, and with another steely look at Harry the man left him alone in his cell again.

Harry cradled his hurting left arm against his chest, pulled his knees up again and started crying anew. He didn't know what would happen next, but still he wanted to go home more than anything else. Maybe if he closed his eyes tightly for some time he would wake up and find that it all had been a horrible nightmare. Then he could sneak into Remus' bed and feel safe again. But even as Harry closed his eyes he knew that this was not true.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_Remus felt Harry's hand tightening its hold on his own and he squeezed his godson's hand once in reassurance. Harry had never liked big crowds, and though most of his initial shyness had vanished over the past two and a half years, the five year old boy still didn't like being around too many strangers at a time. But today it could not have been prevented. For one, Harry could not stay away from strangers forever with only his family around him. And secondly he had needed new clothes after his last growth spurt, and buying clothes for Harry was something Remus could not do by eye measure. So he had taken an afternoon off and had spent it with Harry in Diagon Alley. By now it was nearly evening, Remus was laden with bags and packages that contained robes, trousers, shirts and shoes and he was glad that they were finally finished and on their way back to the Leaky Cauldron. There was full moon the next evening and he already felt tired and drained._

_He heard Harry noisily suckling on his ice-cream – strawberry and chocolate, wrung out of Remus by Harry's famous 'lost puppy look' despite all of Remus' reservations against sweets before dinner – and smiled down at the child._

_"Better finish that, we're going to floo soon."_

_Harry nodded and tried to swallow as much of the ice cream as soon as possible. Remus rolled his eyes. He had not meant for the child to devour the ice all on one bite._

_"No need to hurry just that much, you'll only give yourself a headache, pup."_

_They stopped in front of the pub and Remus patiently waited for Harry to finish his ice. When the last bit of the cone had vanished, he reached into his pocket for a tissue and crouched down in front of Harry to wipe away the chocolate streaks around his mouth. Harry pulled a face and squirmed, trying to move away._

_"Don't Remus! I'm not dirty."_

_Remus only laughed._

_"Oh no, of course not. You only got the chocolate smeared all over your face, it's a wonder you haven't smeared it into your hair as well. There you go, now you look like a child again and not like a cave-troll."_

_"I'm not a cave-troll!"_

_Remus affectionately ruffled Harry's hair. "No, of course you're not. Right, how about we go back home now, I make us something to eat and then we'll sort out all the old clothes from your wardrobe?"_

_Harry nodded.  
"And then you go to bed early just for once, so that you won't be so tired for your sleep-over at Janus' tomorrow."  
Harry pulled a face. "I don't want to sleep over at Uncle Janus'!"_

_"Why not?"_

_Harry shrugged. "I just don't want to. I want to stay at home with you."_

_Remus sighed. Discussing with Harry had become a bit exasperating lately as the child obviously was in the middle of a phase where he thought he had to disagree with his godfather about everything, just for the sake of it. Harry was testing his limits with Remus – something that was only normal and natural – but from time to time Remus had to fight hard as to not to lose his temper with the child. He didn't like going all authoritarian on Harry, but lately it could not be avoided from time to time._

_"Why don't we floo home first and then talk about it, all right?"_

_Harry defiantly shook his head. "No! I don't want to floo home!"_

_Remus sighed. Why couldn't he have waited to mention the sleep-over until they were safely at home? Now he had a stubborn Harry to deal with about something as unimportant as flooing home. But he would not settle that particular argument here on Diagon Alley, definitely not._

_"Well, you will have to or you won't get home."_

_Harry pulled his lips into a pout and stomped his foot once._

_"I don't want to floo."_

_"Oh, and how do you want to go home?"_

_"I want to fly home!"_

_Inwardly, Remus sighed. Flying. He wanted to kick Janus into the behind for taking Harry with him on his broom a couple of months ago. Ever since then the child had been obsessed with flying and had been constantly begging Remus for his own broom._

_"We can't fly home, Harry. We can't just take a broom and fly across Muggle London. And flying home will take many hours from here, and it will be quite cold up there. And we don't have a broom with us. So I guess we will have to floo home."_

_Harry wordlessly shook his head and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Fine, if the boy wanted to pout he should just try it, but Remus would not give in to that._

_"I don't know what you will do, but I will go into the pub now and floo home. If you don't want to come with me, then I guess you will have to stay here for the night."_

_"I'll stay here!"_

_Harry still glared at Remus, but the older man could see the child's resolve start to crumble despite his words, and his green eyes flickered a bit as if he was debating inwardly what to do next. Remus continued talking Harry into agreeing.  
"I don't think it would be comfortable to sleep here, on the hard stone floor. And you would be hungry, because there is nobody here to cook dinner for you. Nobody to tell you a story, and nobody to kiss you goodnight before you go to bed." Again, Remus crouched down in front of Harry so that he was on eye-level with the child. He didn't particularly like bribing the child into agreeing like that, but at the moment he neither had the will nor the strength to go through a lengthy argument with Harry. "And I would be quite alone without you, Harry. The house would be all too empty and silent and I would be lonely. I really don't want that, Harry."_

_Harry's green eyes stared into Remus' for a long moment, then he hesitantly nodded and reached for his godfather's hand._

_"Okay. But I won't sleep at Uncle Janus' tomorrow."_

_Remus could see another discussion coming up, but he decided not to say anything about that until they were safely home._

_"Thank you, Harry. Let's go home and I'll make us some dinner."_

_He lead Harry into the dark and smoky interior of the Leaky Cauldron and after a short small talk with Tom the owner he shrunk their shopping bags and put them into his pocked. Then he lifted Harry up, placed him on his hip and threw the floo powder into the flames before he stepped into the fireplace. Harry held on tightly and buried his face in Remus' shoulder as the fireplaces began to spin by in front of them._

_With his five years, Remus thought Harry far too young to floo alone, afraid that he would say something wrong and end up somewhere completely different than intended, but using the floo network with a five year old child in his arms was not Remus' favourite way to travel either. They fell out of the fireplace in Remus' living room quite clumsily, but at least Remus managed to regain his balance before he and Harry hit the floor. Harry quickly disentangled himself from his godfather and tried to wipe some of the soot from his face._

_Remus unpacked the shopping bags and gestured Harry to move upstairs. "Okay pup, why don't you get out of your robes and clean yourself up a bit before I make dinner?"_

_Remus was already prepared for another minute-long argument, but much to his surprise the child only sighed loudly to show that he didn't really want to do it but nevertheless moved towards the staircase without complaining any further. Remus silently thanked the boy for being so obedient just for once._

_About an hour later Harry and Remus had eaten dinner, all of Harry's new clothes had been sorted into the wardrobe and the two of them were sitting on the living room sofa. But before he sent Harry to bed, Remus wanted to approach the necessity of Harry spending the next night with his uncle rather than at home once more._

_"So, what are you planning to do with your aunt and uncle tomorrow?" Remus tried to sound cheerful and without any intention in his voice, hoping that Harry had already forgotten about his earlier unwillingness to spend the night away from home. But Remus didn't have that luck, which he soon realized from the way Harry's face started to transform into a pout again._

_"I'm not going."_

_Remus sighed._

_"Why not? Don't you want to spend time with your Uncle Janus and your Aunt Serena?"_

_"Not tomorrow. Don't want to go tomorrow."_

_"Why not tomorrow?"_

_Harry shrugged and turned his eyes back onto the colouring book he had been doodling into earlier._

_"Because."_

_"Just because?"_

_Harry nodded, not looking up from his drawing. "Yes. Because I don't want."_

_Remus sighed and put his hand on Harry's back to get the child's attention. Harry looked up._

_"Listen Harry, I'm afraid that you will have to spend the afternoon and night tomorrow with Janus. I won't be here, I'll be with Dad like every month."_

_"Can't I come with you to visit Grandpa? I want to visit Grandpa, not Uncle Janus."_

_Remus sadly shook his head. "No Harry, I'm sorry but you can't. We can visit your Grandpa the day after, or he can come over."_

_"Why not tomorrow?"_

_Remus bent his head and wearily rubbed his temples with his hands. He knew that when Harry wanted to know something and started asking questions he could be quite persistent. A couple of times Harry had already questioned the reason for Remus' monthly disappearances, but somehow he had the feeling that if Harry seriously started this today, he would not be able to evade answering them this time. Remus knew that he would have to tell Harry that he was a werewolf, and sooner rather than later, but for the life of him he had absolutely no idea how to do that. He couldn't just say 'Oh pup, by the way, I vanish once a month because I turn into a savage, raging beast'._

_Only thinking about it made him remember the one moment, two months ago, when he had had a similarly difficult talk with his godson. Janus' wife Serena was six months pregnant by now, and when they had told Harry that she was having a baby the child had turned his innocent green eyes on Remus and had asked him where the babies came from. Remus' chin had dropped as far as it went, Janus had started laughing out loud and Serena had quickly left the room before anybody could ask her to tell Harry about the facts of life._

_What had followed had been the most embarrassing thirty minutes of Remus' life during which he had desperately tried to give Harry the answers to his questions in a way a five year old boy could understand. In the end Remus had been flushed a deep tomato red in embarrassment, Harry had been appalled and Janus had been having the time of his life making fun of his little brother._

_And compared with what was about to come now this had been a picnic._

_Remus sighed deeply and tried to steel himself for what was about to come._

_"Harry, you can't come with me to Grandpa tomorrow. It's like last month when you stayed with Janus and Serena."_

_"Why?"_

_"I'm going to tell you why, but...it's not easy to explain, Harry. It's a long and difficult story and I hope you understand it. It might be a bit scary, but there is no need to be afraid, okay? And if you don't understand something, just ask."_

_Harry nodded, muted by the sudden serious and heavy tone of Remus' voice._

_"Okay. You know that when I was at your age, your Grandpa, Uncle Janus and I lived in France, right?"_

_"Yes."_

_"We were living in a small town and there was a forest nearby. Your Grandpa had forbidden Janus and me to go in there without an adult, because it was big and especially at night also dangerous. Now, when I was five years old I snuck out of my room one night. Dad had not allowed me to go outside that day because I was slightly sick and I was pouting. So I decided that I could as well sneak out for an hour or so after dinner, when they thought I was already asleep. I somehow managed to get past my parents and Janus without them noticing me and snuck out. I don't know how late it was, but it was autumn and already dark outside. But the moon was full and there was enough light to see everything clearly. I don't really remember what happened then, but somehow I must have gotten too close to the forest during my playing in the garden. I was already beneath the first trees and though I could still see the house I was farther away than I was allowed to be._

_As I said, I don't remember what happened, but I know that while I was out there in the forest I got bitten by an animal. Dad heard me screaming when it happened and he and my Mum ran out to see what was going on. When they were coming for me they scared away the animal that had bitten me. They brought me back into the house and called a doctor._

_Harry, you remember the scar that I have on my shoulder?"_

_Remus ran his hand along the outline of the scar that was hidden under his shirt. Harry nodded._

_"That was where I was bitten."_

_Harry's eyes widened in shock._

_"It must have been a really big animal."_

_Remus shook his head slowly._

_"No. I was a lot smaller when I got the bite, as tall as you maybe. And when I grew, the scar grew with me, that's why it seems so big. But the animal which bit me wasn't."_

_"What animal bit you?"_

_Remus closed his eyes and took another deep breath._

_"It was a werewolf, Harry."_

_Remus knew that he had not told the child anything about werewolves, but he could not be entirely sure that the child had never heard the word before by somebody else. But Harry's somewhat blank expression told him that obviously the child hadn't, or if he had he didn't remember._

_"You were bitten by a wolf?"_

_Remus nodded._

_"By a werewolf, yes. It's...not exactly a normal wolf."_

_Harry's small forehead frowned, his eyes shifting back to where he knew the scar from the bite wound was on Remus' shoulder._

_"But...but that was long ago. It's good again now, right? I got bitten by Eric's mouse once and it got better soon."_

_Remus watched his godson with a pained sadness in his eyes. He only hoped that Harry would take it well when he told him the truth now. There would be nothing able to devastate him more if Harry got frightened or appalled by this so far unknown side of Remus.  
"No Harry, unfortunately it's not good again now. Werewolves are not like normal wolves. Werewolves are magical creatures, and they only become wolves one night a month, when it is full moon. During the rest of the time they are humans."_

_The look in Harry's eyes told Remus that he had absolutely no idea what his godfather was talking about._

_"Harry, when somebody is bitten by a werewolf like I was, they become a werewolf themselves."_

_A pause during which the silence was oppressing. Then, after what seemed like a small eternity:_

_"You are a wolf?"_

_Again, Harry's eyes widened remarkably, even more so as Remus nodded._

_"One night a month, when there is a full moon, I turn into a wolf."_

_Remus gave Harry some time to process that piece of information, all the while watching the child's face intensely. Harry was staring at the carpet, his brow furrowed and a look of extreme concentration on his face. After some moments, he looked up at Remus again.  
"But why can't I be with you when you turn into a wolf? I want to see you as a wolf!"_

_Remus shook his head._

_"You can't. Werewolves are not normal wolves. They are dangerous and try to bite and hurt every human they meet. That is why every full moon, I go to your Grandpa's house and lock myself in for the night so that I won't hurt anybody. It's going to happen again tomorrow, and that's why you can't come with me. It's too dangerous."_

_Harry shook his head vehemently. "You would not hurt me."_

_Remus smiled sadly and ran his hand through Harry's hair, resting it against the boy's cheek as he spoke._

_"Harry, I would never hurt you. Never. But when I turn into the wolf, I'm not myself. I'm dangerous to everybody, even the people I love. I take a potion every month", Remus smiled as Harry disgustedly pulled a face, showing his extreme dislike for any potion he had been forced to take in his life so far, "and that potion makes me a bit safer. But it would still be too dangerous for anybody to be with me. That is why I want you to stay with Janus and Serena tomorrow night, okay?"_

_Harry nodded, though somewhat reluctantly still. Remus guessed that the child didn't really understand the full impact of what Remus had just told him. How could he? Harry was only five years old, five and a half nearly, and so simply could not grasp the extend of what he had heard completely._

_"Is there anything you want to ask me?"_

_Harry looked up and just stared at Remus for a long time. He tried to read the child's expression, tried to find out what Harry was thinking, but a bit concernedly he had to realize that he could not read what he was thinking from Harry's face._

_"You only are a wolf at one night?"_

_Remus heard the worry in Harry's voice and immediately put a calming hand on his shoulder._

_"Only one night. When the full moon comes out I change into the wolf and when the moon sets in the morning I change back again. But it can't happen any time else, only during full moon nights. There is no reason for you to be afraid of it, you'll never be around when that happens."_

_A pause._

_"Okay."_

_Harry didn't sound entirely convinced._

_"There is one more thing Harry." Remus gave another sigh and hoped that Harry would understand how important this was._

_"You mustn't tell anybody what I just told you."  
"About you being a wolf?"_

_Remus nodded. "Yes."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because Harry, people are afraid of werewolves. They know that werewolves are dangerous and so they are afraid. Which is good, because if they are afraid they will take care that they never meet one. But they are not only afraid of the wolf, they are also afraid of the humans who are a werewolf. Do you understand that difference, Harry?"_

_Harry frowned again and thought for a moment._

_"You mean that you are not dangerous when you are you. Only when you are a wolf."_

_Remus nodded. "Yes. But not everybody understands that. And when people know that somebody is a werewolf, they get afraid of that person and often try to stay away from them and their families."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because they don't know better. They're afraid of what they don't know. A couple of people know about me being a werewolf, your Grandpa, Janus, Serena, Claire, but I don't want everybody to know. I don't want people to behave differently towards you just because they are afraid of me._

_Can you promise me that you won't tell anybody about it?"_

_Harry looked into Remus' face and slowly nodded._

_"'kay."_

_"Promise?"_

_"Promise."_

_Remus smiled in relief and squeezed his godson's shoulder tightly. "Thank you, Harry."_

_Remus could tell that a lot of things were going on in Harry's mind and that he still needed time to process everything that he had been told during the past minutes. He didn't want to push the child, but nevertheless he hoped that it would not be bothering Harry for too long._

_"If there is anything you want to know, you can always ask me. Anytime."_

_Green eyes looked up at Remus and he saw that there was something bothering him. He tried to smile reassuringly. "You can always ask me everything Harry. Always."_

_"Does...are you...are you bad?"_

_The last word came out as a low whisper and Remus felt a painful tug in his chest. That was what he had been worried about, that Harry would be scared of him once he got to know that his godfather was a werewolf._

_"Harry, I'm still the same person I was before I told you this, the same person you've always known. Do you think that I'm bad?"_

_Harry shook his head, not daring to look up in his godfather's eyes._

_"I didn't tell you about all this before because I wanted to scare you. I told you now because I think you're old enough to understand it, and because you asked why I go away once a month and I think you earned an honest answer. I've been a werewolf long before you came to live with me, and things won't change because now you know about it. I'm still the same person you've always known, only now you know why I can't be with you one night a month."_

_He watched Harry chew on his bottom lip, a sure sign that the boy was thinking about something very hard._

_"You are a bit confused now, right?"_

_Harry nodded, still not meeting Remus' gaze. With his hands Remus gently framed Harry's face and lifted it up so that their eyes met._

_"Don't worry too much about it, okay? Nothing has changed, only that you now know the truth."_

_He smoothed his hand through Harry's hair, inwardly chiding himself that he had started his whole 'coming out' shortly before Harry's bedtime. It would be his fault if the child would not be able to sleep in tonight because he was too confused. Harry sat next to him for a moment, his legs dangling off the edge of the sofa and his eyes on the long-forgotten drawing book on the table, though Remus guessed he was not really looking at it. After some moments, Harry leaned against Remus' side and tucked himself under his godfather's arm. Remus smiled as Harry soon afterwards seemed to have come to the decision that this was also not a truly comfortable position, climbed into Remus' lap and hugged him around the waist as tightly as he could. Remus immediately wrapped his arms around the small boy and for some long minutes just hugged him tightly without saying a word._

_He took it as a good sign that Harry still wanted to be close to him and seemed to draw comfort from that proximity. The child was confused, true enough, but Remus hoped that this was something that could be settled with more open and honest talking. With his five years Harry was too young to understand it fully, but telling him now was definitely better than confronting him with the truth in a couple of years when it would come like a big, bad surprise. No, it was definitely better to let him grow up knowing the truth and Harry's reaction was better than Remus had expected it to be._

_James would have been proud of his son, Remus thought._

_Tears dwelled up in his eyes beyond his ability to control it and with quite a surprise Remus realized that he had not thought about James or Lily in a very long time. When Harry had first come to live with him, only looking at the child had often conjured up painful memories of them, but over the years this had lessened more and more. Of course Harry would always remain James' son, but somewhere along the way that had stopped being the fist thing Remus thought about when Harry was concerned. _

_He would change it if he could, would gladly give Harry his real family back if there was any way to do that, but as he knew this was impossible Remus had accepted it as his responsibility to raise the child and fill the gap that had been torn into Harry's life. Truth be told, he didn't think he could love Harry any more than he already did, even if he had been his own child._

_Remus didn't know what he had done to earn something as precious as this, but he was glad that he had it._

_Harry shifted slightly in Remus' lap and when Remus looked down he saw him yawn heartily. One look at the clock told Remus that it was nearly an hour past Harry's bedtime. He carefully got up from the sofa and shifted Harry slightly in his arms so that he could carry him more comfortably up the stairs. The fact that Harry didn't even protest against being brought upstairs showed Remus that he was obviously very tired. Ten minutes later he had managed to make Harry brush his teeth and change into his pyjamas for the night, though this had not gone without the usual tired protests about not wanting to go to bed. Despite all this, Harry was nearly asleep by the time Remus pulled up the blanket and bent down to kiss him goodnight._

_"Sleep well, pup. I love you."_

_Harry smiled sleepily and snuggled deeper into the pillow, holding his stuffed lion tightly in his arm like he did every night. Harry mumbled something that Remus decided to understand as 'love you, too'. He gave Harry another quick kiss on the forehead, then tucked him in tightly and turned off the lights, leaving the room with the feeling that a huge weight had been taken from his shoulders._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Janus fell to the ground hard, the force of the impact knocking the air out of his lungs and for a moment his vision turned black, bright red and white stars dancing in front of his eyes. That was exactly why portkeys should only be taken while standing still, the transport only increased any movements that were made, and right now Janus felt thoroughly smashed. His vision was still blackened and blurry, and his chest felt as if somebody had used his ribs to play xylophone on them with an iron bar. He didn't even dare to take a breath at the moment.

"Janus?"  
Upon hearing Remus' concerned voice he drew a deep shuddering breath despite all his reservations against it and suppressed a wince as the immediate result was a searing pain that shot through his ribcage.

"Janus, can you hear me?"

Remus definitely sounded worried now, so Janus gingerly lifted his left arm and waved his hand in what he hoped was understood as a gesture to give him a moment to compose himself. He slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position, one arm wrapped around his aching middle.

"Are you all right?"

As his vision slowly cleared, Janus saw that Remus was kneeling next to him, one hand placed steadying on Janus' shoulder. Janus quickly nodded and rose to his feet as fast as his body would permit it. Remus was still steadying him and only let go when Janus was standing securely on his own feet again.

"Yeah, I'm all right. You?"

He looked up into Remus' face and saw his brother nod. Anger flared up in him as he remembered that his brother's carelessness had brought them into this position.

"What the fuck did you think you were doing? Didn't you think for just one moment before you opened that bloody package? It was a bloody obvious trap and you fell for it!"  
Remus just stared back at him confusedly, the stuffed lion still clutched tightly in his left hand.

"I...but it was...Harry, it was his stuffed lion and I didn't think..."

"That's right, you didn't think! Bloody hell Remus, do you think whoever kidnapped Harry just sends you his stuffed lion because they think you might want it back? Fuck Remus, you are not completely daft, are you?"

Remus simply stared back at his brother, too stunned by Janus' angry outburst to reply anything. Janus glared at him some more, then he abruptly turned around and vented off his remaining anger in a harsh snort. He wanted to knock his brother on the head for this stupidity, but at the moment there were more pressing matters to be seen to. Like trying to get home, for example. Unharmed, if Janus got his will. 

Both then took a closer look at their surroundings, Janus drawing his wand in an automatic movement. At least it had not been damaged by his rather unprofessional landing.

They were in a plain room in what appeared to be an old mansion of sorts, the thick stone walls enough indication for that. There was no furniture in the room, and the two small windows that allowed some moonlight to filter in were too high above for them to look through. At the far off wall there was a door, closed at the moment but seemingly the only way out of the room.

Janus lit his wand and quickly strode across the room, searching the walls and corners for concealed exits or other things that might not be visible on first sight. After he had convinced himself that they were alone in a room without any other exits, he returned to Remus' side.

Remus was leaning against the wall, still holding Harry's stuffed lion, his hands absent-mindly stroking through the fur of the animal. He had the feeling that his heart had stopped beating the moment he had seen Harry's writing on the letter. He was fairly sure that it was Harry who had written it, though small children's handwritings often looked alike. But somehow he had just felt that it had been Harry's handwriting, that it had been Harry begging him to come and help him. The thought that Harry was alive rose his hopes a bit, but thinking that his pup was alone and scared, hoping for him to come, was heartbreaking. Harry was waiting for him, relying on him to come and help him, and he had left his child alone.

And upon seeing the stuffed lion, Remus had just stopped thinking clearly. This morning after he had gotten himself released from hospital he had spent a good half hour sitting in Harry's room, looking through his things. He had immediately noticed that Rory was missing, but as the stuffed lion always lay in Harry's bed at night he had already guessed that the child might have clung to it while he had been taken away. And that fear had been only confirmed when whoever had taken Harry had sent it to him, as if to mock his fears.

Turning the lion in to a portkey had been a devious way to get Remus here, and a sure one at that.

Janus on the other hand was thinking about something entirely different.

Why would someone go the lengths of nearly killing Remus the night Harry was abducted only to send him a portkey to this place two days later? That would only make sense if the plan had been to kill Remus that night and whoever was responsible for it had found out that it had not succeeded. But still, there were easier ways to accomplish that goal than taking the risk of sending him a portkey. Black – if he truly was behind it, which Janus didn't doubt – must have been so sure that the portkey would reach Remus in person, and that his younger brother would take it.

Janus sighed, trying to suppress the leaden lump that was beginning to form in his stomach. Black had sent the portkey to his place, and that strung a chord which made him feel slightly sick. Either that meant that the portkey had been designed to send him and not Remus here, in that case it could be a most dangerous trap and he needed to get his brother out of here as soon as possible. But somehow he didn't think that this was the case. Black was stupid if he just sent Janus a portkey and hoped that would be enough to bring him here. Janus would surely not have touched the stuffed animal without further examination had it not been for Remus, and identifying it as a portkey would have been a matter of moments.

That left another possibility, one that made Janus' stomach jerk painfully. Black must have known that Remus was at his place, that his brother would not share Janus' professional hesitation when faced with something that belonged to his missing godson. And that meant Black must have been watching the house, must have been around somewhere waiting for Remus to show up. The thought that Black had been around the house in which his brother, wife and daughter had been made Janus' hands shake in anger.

But no matter what Black's plans and motives were, they needed to get out of here as soon as possible. They didn't know if being here brought them any closer to finding Harry, but even if it did, Janus would not play the game according to Black's rules. It was far too dangerous, especially for Remus.

"It's a trap. We need to get out of here."

Remus just stared at him dumbly, protest already written across his features. "But Harry..."

"Remus, we don't know if he's even here. Black is playing his games with us, we could be anywhere."

Remus shook his head determinedly.

"No. No, I won't go away as long as I didn't make sure that Harry is not here. You can't force me!"

Janus closed his eyes and slowly counted to ten. He could force Remus to leave, and his brother knew that as well, but he'd rather have him see reason and leave on his own.

"Listen to me, because I won't repeat myself. This is a trap. We don't know where we are and who else is here. We could be outnumbered by twenty to one, and if we're dead we won't be of any use for Harry. Listen, we'll take the portkey back with us and as soon as we're safely out of here I'll have a tracking charm placed on the lion. Portkeys can be traced back, you know that, and as long as we have the lion I'll be able to come back here and search for Harry, but with reinforcements and a plan."

Remus still shook his head to show his disagreement.

"No, we don't have the time. If we come back later, Harry could be hurt or...or worse in the meantime."

With a sigh, Janus made a step towards his brother and framed Remus' face with his hands, forcing him to look into his eyes.

"We need to get out of here. Now. Because if we stay, it's likely that we both get hurt or killed, and then we won't have another chance to get to Harry. I know that it's hard for you, but it's the only way. Trust me, okay?"

Remus hesitated for a moment, but then he nodded, dropping his eyes in defeat. Janus couldn't even begin to guess how hard it was for him to even consider going back without having searched for Harry. With every minute that didn't bring him any closer to finding his pup, Remus felt like he was failing Harry over and over again. He would not be able to take this for much longer.

"Do you have gloves with you?"  
Remus frowned at the strange question and shook his head. "No, why?"

"Never mind."  
Janus rummaged around in his pockets, finally producing a handkerchief which he transfigured into a glove and handed Remus. His brother frowned, but obediently put it over his left hand. Janus then produced the emergency portkey he always carried around with him and held the box open for Remus to see.  
Remus grimaced upon recognizing the silver sickle.

"Sorry, I never thought I'd have to take you with me, otherwise I'd have taken something else."

Remus just shrugged. "I don't think that matters right now."

"All right. On the count of three."  
He activated the portkey with a tip of his wand and looked at Remus. His brother nodded, and Janus counted them down.

"Okay, one – two – three."

Even as Remus' hand descended towards the small coin he felt Janus' fingers close around his wrist, thus making sure that Remus indeed touched the portkey and not only pretended to do so to start his own search once Janus had vanished. He didn't have much time to think about that small breach of trust because then his finger touched the portkey and he steeled himself for the upcoming transport – and nothing happened. Janus tipped the portkey again with his wand, but only a soft blue glow lightened up that vanished immediately, like a muggle light bulb that burned out. Remus frowned.

"Erm, Janus? I know that I'm not an expert on these things, but shouldn't the portkey...well, you know – take us away?"

Without reacting to his brother, Janus waved the wand a couple of times above the portkey, then with a frustrated sigh stuffed the box into his pocket again.

"It's blocked! That bloody bastard blocked the bloody house against portkeys. I don't believe it! All right, I'm afraid it won't be successful either, but we should try apparating out. It could draw unwanted attention to us, but whoever sent the portkey knows that we landed here, anyway."

Remus nodded and drew his own wand, but moments later pocketed it again after two attempts to apparate without success. Janus was right. Whoever had tricked them here, they'd been extremely thorough in their preparations.

"All right, just give me a moment to think this through."

Janus started pacing the room for what appeared to be endless minutes, all the while scratching his head absent-mindly with his wand. He was still moving a bit gingerly, as if the pain from his previous impact had not completely vanished yet. Remus noticed this, but he knew that any further inquiries about his brother's wellbeing would only fall on deaf ears in their momentary situation.

"Okay, I'm afraid we'll have to play along to Black's rules until we find a way out here. He got us transported into a room with only one door, so I guess he wants us to leave through it. But he also would want us to search for the little one heedlessly, and that's where we won't play along with him. As soon as we find a fireplace or any other way to get out, we'll leave, understand?" When Remus nodded reluctantly, he continued. "It's important that no matter what happens Remus, you listen to what I tell you. I know that you're a good wizard, but you're not experienced with those kinds of situations. I need you to promise me that whatever happens, you'll do what I tell you. No matter what, promise me?"  
"Yeah, whatever."

Janus had to hold himself back from forcefully shaking his brother then until he saw sense in it all. He knew that Remus' mind was on Harry and on Harry's safety alone, but he also knew that this was exactly the wrong thing in their current situation. They could not rescue Harry as long as they themselves were potentially in danger. He could not walk around unknown territory with the possibility of being attacked any moment when his brother had his mind somewhere completely else.  
"Remus, I'm not joking! This is important!"

Remus sighed loudly.

"All right, all right. I promise."

Janus nodded. "You'd better stick to it. If you don't, I won't hesitate to stun you and take you out with me. Right, keep your wand out and stay behind me."

Janus carefully opened the door and looked out, finding himself faced with a corridor that stretched out in both directions. He carefully let his gaze wander along both to the left and right. After a quick moment of thinking Janus decided that as he had no indication to which direction would be best to take either decision was as well as the other. He stepped out and gestured his brother to follow him as he turned towards the left.

"Listen Remus, we're searching for either a fireplace or a way out of that mansion to get behind the anti-apparition wards. That means we'll probably have to look downstairs, see if we find a kitchen or a lounge of some kind. If you see something, tell me, but keep your eyes open and watch your back. And hold on to that lion."

Remus placed Rory into the inner pocket of his robe, securing it with a sticking charm, then followed his brother down the corridor. At the end they found a staircase leading both down as well as upwards. After Janus had looked gone upstairs a few steps, listened and searched for possible booby traps he gestured for them to move on downstairs. They descended one storey until the stairs ended, though Janus was convinced they were not on ground level yet. As they emerged they found themselves in another corridor that looked exactly like the one above. Plain stone walls, no picture frames anywhere, from time to time a locked door to the left or right. No windows as there were rooms to both sides of the corridor, but torches in irregular intervals lit up the space in ghostly light, making the shadows come alive around them. In the dim light, they could not see the other end of the corridor.

"In that kind of house, one can get lost for weeks on end on the search for the bathroom."  
Remus didn't respond to Janus' jest, and Janus had to forcefully remind himself that he was not investigating this scene with his partner, but with his brother. With Lucas, the tasks were distributed clearly, and Janus could rely blindly on his partner covering his back. That's why with Lucas he could allow himself such a little joke at the right time. But right now, he was here with Remus and that meant that Janus had to pay more attention than usual, that he had to watch his brother's back as well as his own. Their lives were his responsibility right now, though Remus would protest against that thought had Janus uttered it aloud, but he knew that if his attention got distracted right now, their lives would be in even more danger. Inwardly, Janus cursed himself for not paying more attention earlier. If he had taken that package from Remus, they would not be in this situation right now.

They reached what Remus supposed was approximately the middle of the corridor and to their right was a door that looked different from the others they had passed so far. It was nearly twice as wide, with ornamental carvings and two wings instead of one. Janus tried his memory and came to the conclusion that this door had to be nearly exactly below the room they had first found themselves in. If he had counted the doors right, that was. Janus gestured Remus to stop.

"Double-winged door stands a bit out against the others. Chances are that this might be a study or a living room of some sorts, something bigger than the other rooms here. We might find a fireplace in there."

Remus frowned at him. "But why didn't we try any of the other doors we've passed? Wizarding houses usually have plenty of fireplaces, we could already have found one."

Janus shook his head, again reminding himself that Remus was not Lucas. But how should he explain his brother what came so naturally with their work after years of experience? The more doors you opened, the bigger the chances became that you got distracted by what you found and thus gave the opponents just the chance they had been waiting for to strike against you. It was easier to trap somebody in a room than in a corridor, and it was easier to trace those who were standing still than the ones who were moving. One of the first lessons those who did field work for the DMLE learned was that when trapped in a situation out of your control, the worst thing to do was losing your head. Blindly opening doors and searching for a way out led to panic easily, especially when there were civilians trapped with you.

Stick to the book, think clearly, don't lose your head.

That was what Janus had been taught by his mentor in the French Auror department, and though Janus had not always stuck to the book during his work, he had always preferred to keep calm even when the situation got hopeless. He knew that he himself could have kept calm even if he had blindly flung open every door on their way to reveal anything but the fireplace they searched for, but he wasn't so sure Remus could have. And if Remus lost his head now their situation only got worse. His brother was right, they could have already found a fireplace by now, but just as well they could have found another trap or worse – Black could have found them. And Janus just could not explain all this to his brother at the moment.  
"Trust me?", he repeated his earlier question.

"Yes", Remus answered without hesitation. Janus nodded.

"Then trust me that I know what I'm doing. Now, I'm going to open that door here. Keep your wand out, keep ready to stun anything that might be in there and wait here until I've made sure the room is clear."

Remus nodded and moved to the side while Janus opened the door with a whispered _'Alohomora'_.

The double wings swung open on surprisingly well-oiled hinges and revealed a dimly lit room which was nearly twice the size of the one Remus and Janus had been transported to, but which was equally empty concerning furniture, pictures, or a fireplace. Janus made a tentative step into the room and cursed loudly when he realized that it was not completely empty. In one corner to his right, somebody was lying on the damp stone floor, unmoving and either unconscious or worse. It took Janus only a short moment to recognize the person who was lying there, though his brain refused to process that information. It just didn't make sense. Janus swallowed heavily, and a moment later he was storming towards the prone figure.

"Lucas?"

He knelt down next to his partner's side, his fingers immediately moving towards his throat in search of a pulse. His actions were carried out automatically after years of training and field experience, but in his head one question buzzed through after the other, all of them unanswered. He sighed in relief as he immediately found a steady and regular heartbeat and then slowly and gently turned Lucas over onto his back. Lucas was alive and if they could wake him then maybe his partner would have some of the answers Janus so desperately searched for. 

Moving Lucas to his back drew a low pained moan from him, followed by the fluttering of his eyelids as he slowly gained consciousness again.

Remus had followed Janus into the room and now knelt down on the other side of Janus' partner, turning a questioning and worried gaze on Janus.

"What happened?"

Janus shook his head.

"I have absolutely no idea. Lucas", he patted Lucas' cheek with his hand repeatedly, "Lucas, can you hear me?"

Again, Lucas moaned and slowly opened his eyes, dazedly looking around the room. As his eyes fell onto Janus Remus saw how he struggled to focus his gaze, then he frowned and tried to sit up, only to be held back by his partner's hand on his shoulder.

"Janus? But where...? What...?"

"Lie back for a moment and let me make sure that you're all right." He raised his wand and waved it over Lucas' body, searching for injuries. "Does anything hurt?"

Lucas lifted his hand and gingerly fingered the right side of his head. "My head. Else, I'm alright, I think."

Janus pried Lucas' fingers away and had a look on the rather large bump on the side of Lucas' head.

"Somebody knocked you out pretty good, that's for sure. Lucas, how in Merlin's name did you end up here?"  
Again, Lucas struggled to sit up and this time Janus helped him into a sitting position.

"I don't know. Care to tell me where 'here' is?"

"I have no idea. What happened to you?"

Lucas held his head in both hands as he leaned against the wall for support. "I just don't know. I was in the office after I left at your place, I think until nine or so. Ryder assigned us a new case, I was reading into the files. When I apparated home there was an owl waiting for me, but the letter was a portkey. I don't know why I didn't realize anything amiss, but I think I didn't suspect the letter to be a threat. Before I knew what happened, the portkey activated and...", he looked up at Janus, a helpless expression on his face, "then I don't know. Somebody must have knocked me out, but I don't know who, where or what. It's all so blurred at the moment."

Janus squeezed Lucas' shoulder gently and then stood up again.

"I don't think you have a concussion, but whoever knocked you out did a good job with it."  
"Janus, how come you are here?"  
"Same as you. Somebody sent a portkey, and before I could stop him, Remus had touched it. I tried to intervene, but the portkey took both of us instead. My own emergency portkey is blocked, apparating doesn't work and so Remus and I have been searching for a way out of here. That's how we found you."  
Lucas shook his head, wincing as the movement caused his head to hurt even worse.

"That doesn't make sense."  
Janus sighed wearily and walked through the room, making sure no unpleasant surprises were waiting for them in a corner.

"In a way it does. I think Black sent the portkeys, and if I'm right about that he's somewhere around here, waiting for us. I don't know if he has hidden Harry here, but I'm pretty sure he wants us to think he has. What I don't know is why he should send you a portkey, having you here could only endanger him further."  
"Not while I'm unconscious." Lucas groaned.

"I still don't see how. I could understand if he wants to take out Remus for whatever twisted reason his mind supplies, but bringing either of us here means increasing our advantage. Why not Remus alone? One on one Black would have the biggest chance to kill him. And I more or less came here accidentally. But why you?"

"Bait?" Lucas asked. Janus only shrugged. "I don't know, but it's not impossible. Maybe he's just plain mad, maybe he knows we're partners, maybe he just thinks you're a friend of mine and wants to bait me with you. I just don't know, Lucas. Everything I can think of doesn't make sense."

"What now?"

Both turned towards Remus as he asked the question, and the looks on their faces told clearly that they had already forgotten his presence in the room during their conversation. Janus came over from where he had been inspecting the far off wall and held a hand out to help Lucas up.

"The same as before, we'll go and search a way out of here." Seeing that Remus was about to protest, he quickly shook his head. "No, don't even start it, Remus. Yes, now Lucas is with us as well, but as long as we don't know what we're up against, even two Unspeakables is not enough for my liking, especially since Lucas took a pretty nasty hit on the head. This mansion is huge, and I don't want to think about how many traps there could be in here. No, we'll stick to the plan and search for a way out."

Janus realized that Remus still didn't like the plan, and somehow he could understand his brother. The only thing on Remus' mind right now was Harry and the faint hope that they could still find him alive. The letter and the stuffed lion had only stirred up that hope, and now that they had been transported here – wherever here was – Remus had the feeling that he might have come a step closer to finding Harry. But Janus just could not give in now, he could not go search for Harry despite how much he himself wished to do so.

Janus gave Lucas another minute or two to get his mind and balance together again while he silently contemplated how to get out of this situation. They were still stuck in this mansion, and slowly Janus got the sinking feeling that Black had planned out his trap a lot more carefully than he had anticipated at first. By now, he wasn't so sure anymore that they would find a way out all that easily. They needed to find a fireplace, whether connected to the Floo Network or not, and they especially needed to keep moving. They had already stayed in this one room for far too long for Janus' liking. He turned a questioning gaze at Lucas.

"What do you suggest?"

Lucas looked at him and shrugged slightly.

"No portkey, no apparating, so I guess we'll either have to search for a door or fireplace. What storey are we in?"  
"I don't know. We're above ground, but not on ground level, and there are at least two other storeys above us."  
Contemplating this, Lucas nodded slowly. "Then I guess we search for the stairs leading downstairs, trying to work out way to the ground level. There has to be a way out."

"Yes, but there's also the high possibility that this place is swarming with Death Eaters. Just because we haven't encountered anybody so far doesn't mean that they won't come crawling out of their holes as soon as we make a wrong move."

"The way I see it, we don't have any other choice Janus. We need to get out here, and if we can take out a bunch of Death Eaters on our way, all the better."

Janus frowned at his partner. "This is not about hunting down Death Eaters, Lucas. Especially not when Remus is around and you have just woken up from being knocked out cold for Merlin knows how long. Am I the only one here who had his mind in the right state? We try to keep ourselves hidden for as long as possible, maybe we can get out here without attracting any unwanted attention at all."  
"And maybe Voldemort was just a misunderstood benefactor for Britain's muggle-born witches and wizards. Come on Janus, somebody went lengths to bring the two respectively the three of us here, and now they surely won't sit back and watch us leave again, don't you think?"

"Anyway", Janus sighed impatiently, "we have to move sooner or later and I'd suggest to do it sooner. You sure you're all right?" He'd rather change the topic than think even more about the possibility that with every move they made they did exactly what Black wanted them to do.

Lucas nodded and pushed himself off the wall against which he had been leaning. "Yeah, I am. Let's go."

They left the room again through the door, Janus walking first and Lucas backing up their rear with Remus in the middle. Remus didn't like at all that ever since they had found Lucas, Janus excluded him even more from the decisions about how to proceed. And he could not help but wonder why Sirius should have brought Lucas here. How had he known about his connection to Janus and thus to Remus? But then again, what reason was there for Sirius to kidnap somebody just because he had a connection to Remus? But why Lucas, a trained Unspeakable who posed a possible threat to Sirius' plans and not Richard or Claire who would be more defenceless than Lucas?

Remus had the feeling that it was even more urgent now to search for Harry instead of seeking a way out of this mansion, but he knew that no matter what he said right now he would not be able to convince Janus or Lucas of it. The team of them was together again right now, and Remus was only the tag-along who had to be protected. He had no power to decide anything at the moment, but he just could not help the feeling that something fishy was going on here, and that no matter what they decided to do now, they'd be in trouble pretty soon.

There seemed to be a silent understanding going on between Janus and Lucas, because none of them spoke as they slowly made their way through the corridor again. Not once did one of them stop in front of one of the doors, nor ask the other about the best way to proceed. Remus moved between them, once or twice looking at either of them as if he was about to ask a question but then decided not to.

After maybe five minutes, they reached the end of the corridor, but there was no staircase. Instead, they found themselves in front of another door that looked exactly like most of the others they had passed. One single torch next to it lightened the space up enough to see that there was no other way out from here.

"And now?"

Janus leaned against the wall and looked at Lucas, his wand still in his hand and the watchful expression in his eyes never wavering. He might look as if he was leaning casually against the wall and taking a pause, but both Remus and Lucas knew that he was ready to react to anything that might occur within the fraction of a moment.

Lucas hesitated before he answered, his eyes quickly darting up the other end of the corridor and back again.

"There was no staircase on the other end of the corridor?"

Janus shook his head. "No. Only the one we descended, but nothing that led further down."

"Then I guess either there is no obvious way downstairs, or there is one behind this door."

"Or behind any other door on this corridor", Remus interrupted. Both Lucas and Janus turned towards him, and he got the distinct impression that they were both glaring at him for interrupting their loud thinking.

"Or behind any other door here," Janus agreed. "But either way we have to decide what to do now."

Somehow, Remus got the impression that his voice would not count very much when this decision was concerned and he didn't like this at all.

After a short moment, Lucas spoke again.

"I think we should try that door. It's as good a guess as any, I think. If there's nothing behind it, we can think of another way to try something, but right now the end of the corridor seems most likely to hold a way down to me."

Janus nodded his agreement, and before Remus could do or say anything the decision had been made. Janus pushed his younger brother slightly to the side so that he wasn't standing directly in front of the door anymore, then he and Lucas took up positions. Lucas unlocked the door with a wave of his wand and covered Janus' back as the older Lupin brother stepped into the room with his wand raised. With one look Lucas checked that the corridor behind them was still empty, then he followed Janus in the room, Remus at his heels.

They found themselves in another room that was bare of any furniture or decoration – not to mention that again there was no fireplace – but on the far off wall there was a window which allowed them to look out, showing the treetops of a forest directly outside that indicated they were in approximately the second storey. There was also a small recess in which stone steps led downstairs, the possible way down for which they had been searching. 

A door-sized opening in the wall led into another room, and as Remus looked into that direction movement caught his eye. Janus and Lucas both spun around immediately, positioning themselves slightly in front of Remus. A figure appeared in the doorway, staring at the three men in front of him for a long moment, and suddenly a hell broke lose.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Remus stared at the man he had once called a friend for what seemed like a small eternity though in fact it might have only been the fragments of a couple of seconds.

Sirius was wearing a robe that once might have been black but now was faded to a faded grey colour, worn and dirty, even torn in some places. It appeared to be at least three or four sizes too big for him, but he also appeared to have become so much thinner since Remus had last seen him. His  face was gaunt, fallen in around the cheeks and though for some strange reason he had not grown a complete beard, there were possibly two weeks worth of stubble on the lower part of his face. His hair no longer was shoulder length as it had been during the last two years after school, but hung around his face and across his shoulders and back in long, dirty and dishevelled tresses. From underneath the hair that hung in his face, Sirius' eyes stared hollowly at Remus – and at Remus alone – seemingly not noticing Lucas' or Janus' presence at all. One look into those eyes reminded Remus why he no longer counted Sirius amongst his friends, because the hatred that shone back at him from out their depths painfully reminded him of what this man was able to do and of what he had already done. James, Lily and Peter had been delivered to death by him, and now he had tried to kill Remus and had taken Harry.

Harry.

Just one thought about his godson stopped all musings in which Remus might have lost himself immediately as the pain about the possible loss of his godson stabbed through him with renewed force. Finally Remus was standing face to face with the man who had taken Harry away from him, who might have hurt him or even worse. And Remus could not let the man get away who had harmed his child.

And suddenly all rational thought was forgotten.

Not caring the slightest about what Janus and Lucas might think or do, Remus leaped forward into Sirius' direction, launching himself at the other man with his wand still tightly in his hand.

Sirius started to move at precisely the same moment, and both of them collided in mid-way, each falling to the floor with the impact of it. Remus was lucky enough to land on top, and he immediately seized his chance to grab the collar of Sirius' robes, pulling him up and smashing him down onto the floor again with all the force he could muster. Sirius' head collided with the floor with a force that must have been painful, but his blue eyes turned on Remus as if he didn't even realize that his head was hit against the stone floor. Something seemed to flicker in those eyes, and within the fragment of a moment recognition, sadness, doubt and other emotions passed through those eyes, far too fast for Remus to recognize them all, but after a short moment they were replaced by a look of such seething anger as Remus had never seen it before.

And before Remus could do anything about it, Sirius' gaze became opaque again and he seized Remus roughly by the front of his robe, somehow managing to push Remus away from himself and reverse their positions in one motion, pinning Remus underneath him with bruising force. 

Before Remus could try to do something against his position the first punch had already hit his nose and he was far too busy defending himself. For some long moments, both men lay on the floor brawling like adolescent boys in a fight, but with the full intention to hurt the other as much as possible, without any hesitation or reserve.

After what seemed like a small eternity, Remus saw Janus' face appear in his line of vision and felt how his brother was pulling Sirius away from him, pointing his wand at the escaped convict's throat while he drew Sirius' arm behind his back to stop him from lashing out. Another pair of hands grabbed Remus around his shoulders and pulled him towards the other side of the room, but Remus was just too angry to seize his struggles. He was still trying to lash out into Sirius' direction, trying to hit him even as the two Unspeakables pulled them away from each other. Not even when Lucas poked his wand into Remus' side, threatening to stun him if necessary did Remus stop trying to evade his grasp. he didn't have proper or rational behaviour on his mind right now, he was only thinking about how he could make Sirius feel at least a little of the pain he himself and probably Harry even more so had been put through.

Janus was not fairing better. He tightened his hold on Black's struggling body, but with difficulty. Janus Lupin by no means was a weak man, and Black had spent the past five years in a place that had made physical exercise become an unnecessary pastime activity, but nevertheless it took him all his strength to keep Black from breaking free and storming over towards Remus again. There was something in Black's eyes that that scared even Janus. Those were not the eyes of a person who had become mad in Azkaban, he realized. No, Black was not mad, but whatever had happened to him in that place, it had brought out the worst in him. Black might not be mad, but that didn't make him less dangerous. The contrary, he was probably even more dangerous now than he had been before.

Across the room, he could see Lucas struggling to keep his brother in an equally tight grip. Remus didn't struggle as strongly as Black did, but he was shooting murderous glares into his former friend's direction and there was a wild look in his eyes that made Janus shudder.

Janus kept his wand in a firm grip against Black's throat, his left hand holding the other's arm behind his back in a tight grip, but ready to reach for his knife should Black try to do something stupid again. But he could see that no matter what Lucas did Remus didn't seem to have any intention to stop trying to get at Black's throat. Black just glared at him with equally matched force, so that it was hard to tell who of the two hated the other more.

"Where is he, Sirius?"  
Black's gaze did not move away from Remus as he spoke, but upon realizing that he had been talked to, some of the wild rage seemed to vanish from his expression, his eyes clearing somewhat.

"What?"  
His voice was hoarse and scratchy, just as if he had not used it in a long time. Which was probably true. For a fleeting moment, Janus contemplated whether this came from screaming himself hoarse in the presence of the Dementors, but he quickly dismissed the thought. Actually he didn't want to know what happened to Black in Azkaban, because however bad it had been, it had not been nearly enough to punish him for what he had done to Remus and to Harry.

"I asked you where he is!"  
Remus was losing his patience, Janus realized, but Black either didn't seem to notice or he plainly didn't care. Instead, he looked at Remus from expressionless eyes, his pupils dilated so much that there was hardly any colour except from black visible anymore.

"Who?"

Remus seized his struggles, stunned and angered at the same time. He bit his lower lip as if to keep back a harsh remark, but before he could respond something, Janus beat him to it.

"You know perfectly well who, Black. Harry, that's whom we're talking about. Harry Potter, what did you do to him?"

Black turned slightly for a moment, his eyes quickly darting over Janus' face. For a short moment, something flickered in those blue and black depths, as if Janus' words had penetrated through his hull of anger and loathing for a moment, but when he turned towards Remus again the look had vanished again, replaced by the opaque and yet hateful expression it had shown earlier. He stared at Remus for a moment, the intensity of his gaze making a shiver run down Remus' spine. 

"Harry is dead."  
  



	15. A Question Of Trust

A couple of people asked about the meaning of the title of chapter 14. I just hope that my sources are right, because my Italian knowledge is nearly non-existent.

"**Cui ci sono dei mostri**" is Italian (duh!) and roughly translated means "Here, there be monsters". In the middle ages those words were used by seafarers to mark the "white spots" on maps, meaning the places that had not been explored yet.

I've been told by a reviewer that it should be "Qui ci sono...", contrary to what the book from which I took this says. My Italian is not good enough to tell which one is true, maybe writing it with 'c' instead of 'q' is older Italian. *shrugs and stops her linguistic excursion*

I just thought that this title fitted every part of the last chapter in a sense, that's why I used it.

For those of you who have seen the movie "**Pirates of the ****Caribbean", when Barbossa tells Jack during their fighting towards the end "You're off the edge of the map, mate. Here, there be monsters.", that's a direct reference to this.**

I hope this clears up the questions – sometimes it pays out to study history. *g*

Okay, here is the revised version of this chapter. I didn't change anything before or during the flashback, so those of you who want to know what the changes are should look beyond that.

Enjoy!

**A Question Of Trust**

Harry had indeed fallen into a slight slumber after the man had left him alone, but the sound of approaching footsteps immediately tore him out of his restless sleep. His aching left arm still clutched tightly against his body Harry drew his knees up against his chest and looked at the door, by now not even hoping that it was anybody else than that man who had hurt him before leaving him here alone.

The door was unlocked loudly and even though he had expected it Harry flinched away as the towering form of the man – the only person Harry had seen since he had been taken from home - appeared in front of him.

This time there was no lengthy talking or the demand to write a letter, the man merely stepped beside Harry, roughly seized him around his middle and picked him up. Harry cried out loudly as the man's grip hurt the already bruised skin on his chest and stomach that stemmed from being dragged around earlier, and his hurting arm was also painfully jarred around. Tears shot into his eyes and he could not help the few suppressed sobs that came tumbling out of his mouth beyond his ability to hold them back.

They walked down the corridor which again was only illuminated by a couple of torches on the clammy walls. Beyond, it was too dark for Harry to see anything. He could not have oriented himself anyway even if he had wanted to, and he slowly understood that even if he could break free from the man's grasp it would be impossible for him to find his way out and get back home.

So he just limply hang over the stranger's shoulder and allowed himself to be taken away again, only hoping that whatever would come next would not mean he'd get hurt again.

After what seemed like a small eternity they stopped in front of a double-winged door that was illuminated by two torches on either side, and with his free hand the man grabbed the handle and pulled the door open.

Harry could not see what was in the room they entered until they had stepped into the middle of the large chamber and the man had deposited him quite unceremoniously on the ground.

Harry looked up and found himself facing a large circle of men, men who all wore dark robes with their hoods drawn over their heads and white emotionless masks covering their faces.

Harry swallowed hard in between his erratic breathing, sure his heart would leap out of his throat any moment, so fast was it beating in his chest. 

Those were the men from his dreams, the bad men who had hurt the people in his dreams.

And now they had come to get him.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_"Remus?__ Remus, can you hear me?"_

_Through the thick haze, Remus heard somebody call out those words from a distance, but it took him some moments until he even realized that the voice was calling out to him._

_"Remus?__ Come on child, wake up."_

_Though it hurt, Remus took up the effort and turned his head towards the source of the sound. He didn't particularly want to open his eyes just yet, but the voice calling out to him was growing more and more insistent and he knew that he didn't have that much choice in the matter. Slowly, he opened one eye and immediately shut it close again as the brightness in the room assaulted him._

_From out of nowhere, a cool hand touched his clammy forehead and soothingly ran along his face._

_"Remus, are you awake?"_

_"Hmmm."__ That was the most eloquent Remus could do at the moment while his mind was still busy trying to find out why he was obviously lying in his bed in the middle of the day, feeling like shit, with his father calling out to him. Without consciously realizing it, he turned a bit and moved closer to the comforting presence of his father at his side. He felt Richard close his arms around him and for a moment he was hugged carefully, before Richard gently helped his son into a half-sitting position to better examine him. While he did that, Remus was slowly trying to keep his eyes open and get his thoughts a bit more coherent._

_He was – no surprise there – in his room in the house they lived in, he, his father and his older brother. They had moved here only three or four months ago, one of the many places they had lived in during the past years. This time however had been the first time that Remus' mother had not moved with them._

_Remus' mother had still lived with them near Poitiers, the last place they had lived in before they had moved here, into a very small town south of __Bordeaux__. Their house near Poitiers had actually been a rather nice place to live in, but when again their neighbours and the other people in the village had found out the one big secret of the Lupin family – the fact that their youngest son was a werewolf – they had been forced to move again. Remus had already known that his mother hadn't liked this nomadic and persecuted life, and in __Poitiers__ she obviously finally had had enough. After another big fight with his father, Remus' mother had packed her bags and left her family._

_His brother Janus was probably saddest and most angry about this as he had been a lot closer to his mother than Remus (or rather their mother had been a lot closer to Janus as she had been to Remus), but shortly after their parents had split up his new school year at Beauxbatons had started and he had left Remus alone with their father._

_Janus had not spoken to Remus since their mother had left – not that they had been close anyway even before – and though nobody had spoken it out loud Remus knew that his older brother blamed him for what had happened with their parents._

_What was even worse was that Remus knew his brother to be right about it. He had heard his parents argue and fight more often than talking civilly to each other in the months before his mother had left, and whenever they had assumed their children to be asleep or out of earshot they had been arguing about him. Remus had not always understood what exactly had been said, but he knew that his mother couldn't see him as her innocent little son anymore ever since the wolf had bitten him. She was always edgy and teary around full moon, there were no more exuberant hugs or spontaneous cuddles from her, hardly any physical contact at all to be honest. It had been as if his mother had been afraid of him nearly as much as all the strangers were once they had found out about him and forced them to leave their home towards another place._

_His mother had fixed all her attention and affection on Janus after Remus had been bitten, but eventually Remus' older brother had started at Beauxbatons, leaving Nadine alone with her husband and lycanthropic younger son._

_And three months ago Nadine had left them. For good and without saying goodbye properly._

_"Remus?"___

_His father's voice and a gentle hand on his arm pulled Remus out of his musings._

_"Yes?"_

_"You seemed to have drifted off a bit there." Richard smiled at him. "Come on, I need you to help me when I change those bandages."_

_Remus nodded and for the first time this morning leaned forward and looked down his own body. There were bandages wrapped tightly around his chest and middle, his thighs and upper arms. He could not remember when he had last been injured this badly after a full moon. Tiredly, he leaned his forehead against Richard's shoulder as his father unwrapped the bandages, cleaned his wounds with disinfectant, applied healing potions and in the end gently wrapped them with new bandages._

_With his ten years, Remus didn't know that much about healing magic – though he knew far more than the average ten year old – but he had already learned the hard way that the wounds inflicted on him by the wolf could not simply be healed close. They healed far quicker than similar wounds would on a non-lycanthrope, but trying any healing magic on them other than the potions his father used was futile._

_So he silently allowed Richard to treat his wounds, never once hissing as the disinfectant stung or complaining about any kind of pain at all. He stoically bore the pain until his father was finished and helped him lie down on his bed again._

_"You need to sleep some more, Remus. But first I'll bring you something to eat and drink, do you think you can stay awake that long?"_

_Remus nodded and watched his father leave the room. A couple of minutes later he came back with a tray in his hands. When he set the tray onto the bedside table, Remus suppressed a small cry as he saw the left side of his father's face, the side which had been turned away from him during the past minutes._

_"Dad, what happened to your face?"_

_Richard clamped his hand automatically over the swollen and bruised flesh around his left eye. It looked as if he had tried a healing charm on it to lessen the injury, but it was still plainly obvious that his eye had been badly bruised. Only Remus didn't remember it looking like that before he left for his transformation._

_Richard smiled at Remus, his hand still covering the eye slightly._

_"It's nothing, Remus. Nothing. You only worry about getting better now, all right?"  
"But Dad..."_

_"No buts, Remus. You drink your tea now and eat your sandwiches, and then you try to get some more hours of sleep." Richard's face turned serious before he continued. "You had me worried there after I brought you up from the basement. You were unconscious for the entire day yesterday."_

_Remus frowned, surprised that his transformation had been this bad. Of course he could not remember it, though._

_"It's been that bad?"_

_Richard stroke his hand through Remus' hair and smiled sadly down at his son._

_"It's been worse than usual, yes. But please don't worry about that now. Just rest and see that you get better, please."_

_There was something in Richard's voice that made Remus hesitate, but after a moment he could not stop himself and asked again._

_"Dad, what happened?"_

_Richard sighed and bit his lip, but before he could answer a voice from behind interrupted._

_"Dad, where are the other empty boxes?"_

_Much to Remus' surprise, Janus suddenly appeared in the door. His tall form, which towered his little brother by nearly two heads since his last growth spurt, was leaning against the wooden frame. Janus didn't pay any attention to his bandaged little brother, in fact he didn't even look at him._

_Richard didn't seem all that surprised by his older son's presence, instead he calmly turned around and looked at Janus._

_"The empty boxes are lying on my bed. I'll come over and shrink your boxes later."_

_Janus nodded and pushed himself off the doorframe, vanishing from Remus' sight without another word._

_Remus was confused. Janus was supposed to be at school until the Easter holidays at least, and those were still four weeks away._

_"Dad, what is going on here?"_

_Again Richard sighed and smiled sadly, his hand still combing through Remus' hair._

_"Your transformation was really bad this time, Remus. When...when I came into the basement there was so much blood. I treated your wounds as good as I could, but you simply had lost too much blood. By mid-morning you were also running a high fever which simply didn't break. I couldn't help you any more, that's why I called a doctor."_

_Remus bit his lip and nodded. He knew what that meant, he had experienced it before. His father had quite an experience with treating his wounds after his full moon transformations, and usually it was not necessary to call a doctor at all. Which was good, because doctors in small towns treated of course nearly every inhabitant, and as soon as they found out that one of their patients was a werewolf the whole village knew it. Especially if the people concerned were newcomers and not all that welcome in the town anyway. The direct consequence of other people finding out about Remus was that the Lupins were forced to move away again. People didn't want to live close to a werewolf, and they had already had to move three times during the past two and a half years due to events like this._

_But no matter how often they moved around in __France__, they always moved from one small village or town to the next. Remus had asked his father why they didn't move to a bigger city, maybe even to Paris, but always Richard had said no without giving a proper reason. Not until a couple of years later did Remus eventually find out why they never moved into bigger towns or cities where living was more anonymous and thus would have been a lot easier especially for Richard and Janus._

_Only years later Remus understood, when he learned about werewolf registration, monitoring devices lycanthropes had to carry around their arms or ankles, and about the enforced usage of public transformation institutions. Outside of the bigger cities such a tight and closely monitored system of werewolf control was not possible, so the werewolves there had only to prove that a safe place for the transformation was available and being used._

_It would have been a lot easier especially for Richard without the constant worry of being chased out of town, or being mistreated or even physically attacked as it seemed to have happened that day, but he had chosen not to take that easy way for the sake of his son._

_There were many things Remus thanked his father for, but sparing him the humiliation and pain of being constantly monitored and using the public transformation institutions for the sake of allowing him to remain at home and being cared for by his own father instead was what he was probably most thankful for. Richard had given up a lot without complaining to grant Remus that, and he had stoically bore all the harassment and the attacks that had come along with being the father of a werewolf._

_But now, at the age of ten, Remus didn't know anything about those things yet._

_But when his father had told him about calling the doctor he knew what would come next, and so Janus' presence and his question about empty boxes made sense._

_They had to move again._

_Remus turned his amber eyes on his father who was just about to hand him the sandwiches. Richard stroke his cheek encouragingly when he saw how misted over Remus' eyes were._

_"What's wrong, Remus?"  
"We'll have to move again, won't we?"_

_Richard nodded._

_"Yes, I'm afraid we'll have to move again. We'll visit your Aunt Estelle and your cousins for a while until the house is sold and I've found a new job, and then we'll move to __England__."_

_"__England__?" Remus' eyes widened._

_Richard nodded._

_"Yes, __England__.__ We'll start all over again there, just like a huge adventure. You'll see that it'll be fun."_

_Remus' small forehead frowned._

_"Why __England__, Dad?"___

_Richard sighed and leaned back in his chair, his hands folded in his lap. For a long moment he merely watched his younger son, noticed how small he looked on his big bed, how pale he was and how teary his eyes were. Remus seemed far too young to understand what was really going on. But Richard knew that Remus was far more mature than it looked and that he would understand it if Richard just found the right words to explain._

_"We'd have had to leave __France__ sooner or later anyway, Remus. The _Ministère__ de __Magie__ is about to change their werewolf regulations and I won't let them do that to you, Remus. And now that people here have found out, we'll just have to move a bit earlier than I had expected."__

_"What happened to your eye, Dad?"_

_Remus reached for his father from where he was lying on the bed and Richard took the small trembling hand between his own._

_"Somebody thought they'd have to say something about you when I went shopping this morning, and when I tried to ignore them they chose to tell me a bit more physically what they were thinking of us. But it's nothing serious, just a slight bruise and one more reason to move away from here a bit faster._

_The Beauxbatons headmistress even allowed your brother to take the next couple of days off while we move. So you will eat those sandwiches now and then get some more rest. We can pack your things tomorrow, all right?"_

_He squeezed Remus' hand tightly, but though it was meant to encourage and reassure Remus it only made him shake harder with his suppressed anger, fear and frustration._

_"I'm sorry.", he finally managed to utter from between tightly clenched jaws, nearly too low for Richard to hear._

_"What?", he questioned, leaning forward slightly._

_"I'm sorry. All this trouble is only because of me. If I were normal, it would be different. I'm sorry."_

_Forcefully, but still careful enough to mind his son's injuries Richard pulled him into a tight hug, simply holding him close for a moment. When he finally held him at arms length and forced Remus to look into his eyes, his face was set and serious._

_"Never, never ever apologize for something that is a part of you, Remus. Never apologize for being different, never apologize for something that is neither your doing nor in your ability to change._

_And most importantly, Remus: never apologize because those idiots down there in the village are too narrow-minded and prejudiced to see you for what you really are._

_You're a fine boy, Remus, and I'm sure that you'll grow up into a man who will make me proud. I'll give anything to help you achieve that, and what ignorant idiots like your neighbours think about that is absolutely unimportant. Do you understand me, Remus?  
Nothing matters except from our own small family, nothing except you, Janus and me. And I for one could neither be prouder nor love you any more even if you were no werewolf. Do you understand me?"_

_Remus bit his lip and nodded, fighting down his tears. Nevertheless he allowed his father to pull him close again and rested his face against his father's chest. Richard held him for a moment, then gently eased him back against the pillows._

_"Now how about you eat those sandwiches and then sleep some more?__ Do you need anything else?"_

_Remus shook his head as he listlessly picked up his plate, and with a smile Richard bent down and softly kissed his forehead._

_"Mange ces et après couche toi. Je vais retourner plus tard."_

_"Oui papa", Remus responded, immediately soothed and more relaxed, as always when his father spoke French with him._

_"Je t'aime, mon petit."_

_That brought a small smile on Remus' face and Richard smiled warmly in return._

_"I love you too, Dad."  
Richard smiled as he left the room, heading downstairs to pack up the things from the living room._

_Remus took a bite from one of the sandwiches when a drawling voice in a teary and high-pitched imitation of Remus' own words made him look up._

_"I love you too, Dad."_

_Looking up he found that Janus was leaning against the doorframe again, a stack of empty and folded cardboard-boxes leaning against the wall next to his left knee. Seeing that Remus was looking at him he pushed himself off the doorframe and came walking towards the bed. Janus had always been taller than Remus – no small wonder as he was four years older – but with his fourteen years he had hit puberty by now and his latest growth spurt made him literally tower over the prone form of his little brother._

_"How very touching", Janus grimaced disgustedly, "how very touching indeed.__ Got Dad all teary again, and then those soppy declamations of love..."_

_Remus swallowed his bite of bread and stared up at his brother with wide eyes, intimidation written clearly on his face. In a way Remus looked up to his older brother, just like most little brothers do, but most of the times Janus scared the crap out of him._

_"You've done it again, haven't you?"_

_"D...done what?"_

_"Oh come on Remus, don't pretend to be dafter than you actually are. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You've managed again to get us thrown out of town. Shunned away, call it whatever you like."_

_"But...but I...I mean I didn't..."_

_Janus sneered at his younger brother, enjoying the other's frightened confusion immensely._

_"No, of course you haven't done anything. You never do anything, but somehow we still always get chased away. You didn't do anything, but I can't leave the house alone out of fear that the other kids beat me up or throw stones at me like it happened back in Somloire. And now we have to move again, or rather you and Dad move again. I simply get told that I'm only home for the holidays anyway, so I don't get a say in it. All just because you're such a freak._

_No, you and Dad move to __England__ now, isn't that great? Worked out all fine for you, didn't it?"_

_"You think I planned that, Janus?"_

_Remus wanted to say even more, he wanted to tell his brother that he surely didn't appreciate being chased away again, that he had never asked for that werewolf to bite him and that he could imagine something better than horrible agony every twenty-eight days for as long as he lived, not to mention being harassed by others as soon as they found out about it, and of course being hated by his older brother._

_But the words just didn't come out._

_"You think I planned that?", came Janus' mocking imitation again. "What do I know what's going on in that head of yours. But it's an interesting coincidence that whenever the world doesn't revolve solely around you, something happens to change that._

_First we move away from all of our friends – from all of my friends – then every time I found new friends we have to run away again, then you even manage to chase Mum away while I'm off to school, and now you and Dad move over to England while I am left here in France._

_Strange coincidence, isn't it?"_

_Remus shook his head feverishly, eyes misting up with tears._

_"No, no Janus I didn't..."_

_"Do you really think I care what you have to say? No matter if you plan all this, fact is it happens because of you. Because others are afraid of you, afraid to let their children play with you or even become my friends._

_I'm tainted because of you, Remus. People are afraid of me just as they are afraid of you. Because they know you are dark, Remus, and they're afraid to get tainted by it. Only that I never had a choice, I could never decide whether I wanted to have something to do with you._

_People don't trust you and do you know what? I don't trust you either, whether you only transform once a month or not. The dark is in you every single moment, every minute of your existence, and I wouldn't trust to turn my back on you._

_You might have wrapped Dad around your finger with your innocent pretence, but I keep my door locked at night._

_And one day Dad will see what I see now, and then he'll find that I was right all along not to trust you. Then he'll see that it was wrong to care about you more than about me, because you are a dark creature. You are tainted and most important: you aren't even human anymore and will never be again."_

_Remus stared up at his brother in shock, he took in the other's flushed face and the hard lines around his mouth, but what stung most of all was the unbearable cold and even hatred in his brother's eyes. He tried to say something, tried to convince his brother that he was wrong, but though he opened his mouth, no sound came out._

_Instead, their father's voice called from downstairs a short moment later._

_"Janus? Could you help me here?"_

_Janus turned towards the door. "Sure! Just give me a moment!" Then, turning back towards Remus on the bed he smirked again._

_"You know, when they called me to the headmistress' office and told me that I needed to get home immediately – one day after full moon no less – I thought for one glorious moment that you had mauled yourself for good this time."_

_A single tear escaped Remus' eye and rolled down his cheek. Janus turned to the door and added, like an afterthought, "And maybe one day it will happen and you'll solve the werewolf problem yourself and just don't wake up anymore after that night. I won't be sad Remus, and if I were you I'd not be too sure that Dad will be all that sad either."_

_And with that he turned around and left Remus' room, grinning gleefully as his brother's first suppressed sob reached his ears._

_In his room, Remus curled up around his pillow and pulled the blanked over his head, wincing from the pain this caused him._

_The tears now rolled freely down his face as he cried himself to sleep._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Janus had to fight hard against his urge to knock Black unconscious after he heard him say those words about Harry. A distant part of his brain had feared right from the start that no matter what they did they might not be able to find Harry in time, that the child might be dead even while they still searched for him. But to hear it confirmed by Black was something completely else and Janus felt as if somebody had knocked him forcefully into the stomach.  
He had failed, and now Harry was dead.

But Janus could not allow himself that kind of thoughts right now, there would be a time for that later. Now it was more important that he found a way to bring Remus, Lucas and himself out of here. He couldn't allow himself to fail that task as well. He'd have liked to check on Remus at the moment, but that would have to wait. For the moment Lucas would have to look after him.

Black was anything but holding still and Janus had quite a struggle to keep him in check.

He pressed his wand firmly into Black's ribs and with a quick movement bound the other's hands together behind Black's back. That gave him a bit more freedom to move around without fearing that Black tore himself lose, and he had a relatively free reach with his wandless right hand. With a bit more force than necessary, he pushed the escaped convict's bound hands upwards behind his back.  
If Black tried just one wrong move, he could reach for the knife in his right boot within a short moment, and he was pretty sure that Black was aware of this advantage, because he slowly stopped his struggles and seemed to save his strength for another moment.

Janus inwardly vowed not to give him a chance to escape, but first and foremost he needed to get whatever information he could out of Black. The more he knew about their situation, the bigger their chances were to get out of here as quickly and unharmed as possible.

"Okay Black", he hissed harshly into the other's ear, his wand poking Black's ribs for emphasis, "where are we and how do we get out of here again?"

At first, Black didn't even react to the question, just as if being addressed by another human being was something he was not used to anymore. When it finally trickled through that he had been asked a question, he tore his gaze away from where he had been glaring at Remus and turned his head slightly. Janus could not tell exactly, but he had the impression that Black's blue eyes were slightly clearer than they had been before.

"What?" Again, Janus had the fleeting recollection of the Azkaban prisoners' screams in mind, screams he had heard during one of his many visits to Azkaban while being on his duty. Even when the Dementors had been removed from the main part of the prison for the visit of Ministry officials, those horrible screams had lasted on, sometimes following Janus into his dreams at night. And facing Dementors himself was not one of his favourite pastime activities as well. Janus quickly pushed those thoughts aside. He simply couldn't afford thinking about what the presence of the Azkaban guards did to him and how hard his struggle was to keep his trademark calm and indifference when faced with them, not now.

So instead, Janus tightened his hold on Black and repeated the question.

"Where are we and which is the fastest way out?"

Black chuckled lowly – a definitely unpleasant sound – and shook his head slightly.

"What makes you think I know?"

It was the longest Black had spoken so far and his broken voice had the same effect like fingernails scratching over a blackboard. But it was what he said that threw Janus off balance. What was Black playing at?

"You planned this bloody even here, so don't give me an attitude! Tell me how to get out of here and I might not continue where Remus left off. But get cheeky with me and you will regret it. One last time: where's the way out of here?"

Black shook his head, his eyes solely fixed on Remus again.

"I don't know and I don't care how to get out of here, so why not get over with it, Lupin? Do what you think you have to do, but better pay attention that I don't rip your brother's throat out like that bastard of a traitor has earned it."

The next thing Black realized was that all the air was crushed out of his lungs as Janus roughly pinned him up against the wall.

"Stop fucking around with me, Black. Where. Is. The. Way. Out? Where?"

Black looked at him, then his eyes strayed through the room and glazed over opaquely again. Then, much to Janus' surprise, he began to laugh just as if their situation was extremely funny.

"You have no idea, have you? No idea at all what's going on here." He chuckled again. "Why don't you ask your brother for the way out? If you want to get out of here you'll bloody well have to search for your own way, unfortunately there are no more guided tours after six o'clock."

The last remark earned him a hard smack against the back of his head from his captor that threw Black's head to the side.

"I told you not to get cocky with me, Black!"

But frustration was quickly gaining the upper hand and Janus didn't like it at all how he was losing the little control he had over the situation. It became apparent that Black either really knew nothing that could help them, or that he was not willing to share whatever he knew. There were ways to get it out of him – if he really knew something – but Janus wasn't sure he was desperate enough yet to resort to those means.

But before he could spend more thoughts on that matter he saw movement out of the corner of his eye and turned his head just in time to see Remus forcefully free himself from Lucas' grasp and storm over to where they were standing. There was a look in Remus' eyes that made shivers run down Janus' spine, and before he knew what was happening Remus had pushed him aside and launched himself at Black again.

Remus felt as if somebody had pulled away the floor from under his feet as he heard Sirius speak out the words he had feared to hear ever since Harry had been taken. The words that made his whole world collapse within moments. It was as if anything else in the room lost its importance, as if Remus' world was suddenly narrowed down to contain only Sirius and himself. Breathing suddenly became difficult, and for a moment he thought that his legs would give out beneath him. But then he looked at Sirius, looked into the face of the man who had taken from him the one person who had meant everything to him, and whatever weakness had shortly flared up was replaced by an anger like Remus had never felt it before. He felt numb, cold as if he had been dumped into ice water, but on the inside he was boiling, burning up with a rage unlike anything he had ever felt before. The only feeling he had was the overwhelming desire to lay his hands on Sirius and hurt him just like he had hurt Harry.

From far away he heard a voice shout something, whether at him or at somebody else Remus didn't know. Nor did he care. All he saw was Sirius' gaunt face with the hollow eyes like a grimace in front of him, he only heard the pounding of his own blood in his ears, and he heard Sirius' words over and over again in his mind, as if they were trying to mock him.

_Harry is dead._

If Lucas still had a hold on him, Remus didn't notice it as he leaped forward again and crossed the room in three or four long strides.

Janus looked surprised as Remus launched himself at Sirius again, throwing the taller but thinner man onto the floor with the impact of his weight and fury before his brother had even the chance to react. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that there was his wand in his sleeve, that one single curse would easily end the life of the man who had taken everything that mattered from him, but magic was not what he intended to use on Sirius now. All he could think of was how he could possibly hurt the other as much as he had earned it, and before his former friend could even collect himself again after being thrown to the ground, Remus' first punch already hit him. Mindlessly, Remus hit, knocked, kicked and tried to choke Sirius, willing to cause him as much pain as possible with his bare hands. 

The wolf was taking over, and for the first time in his life Remus did nothing to stop it.

Distantly, he heard Janus call his name, he realized that hands were pulling at him, trying to tear him away from Sirius, but as he pulled his arm back for the next hit his elbow collided with something and the attempt to hold him back was stopped for the moment.

Sirius struggled to fight back against Remus with equally much force, but he was in the worse position and could not get a good grip on Remus in between the blows that hit him. As long as the wolf was letting out its anger this viciously through Remus, a man of Sirius' size and frame in good physical condition would have problems fighting back against Remus, and Sirius was anything but in a good condition. He felt a grim satisfaction when one of his punches seemed to break Sirius nose, but not even this could stop his mindless frenzy. There was only one thought on his mind, and that was that Harry was dead and somebody would get hurt for this. That Sirius would get hurt for this.

"_Petrificus_ Totalis!_"_

Significant for the extend of how far Remus had lost himself in his rage was that it took him a long moment to realized that hits course had been aimed at him and that he could no longer move his arms or legs. He seemed to have fallen down onto Sirius' prone and bleeding form and only when a pair of arms seized him from behind and pulled him upright did he realize that his legs had snapped together and his arms were resting tightly against his side.

'Full-Body-Bind.' A distant part of his brain provided him with that information, but amidst all of his confusion and anger he could not really place it as anything useful at the moment.

Remus' eyes wildly roamed across the room, never really leaving Sirius' unconscious form on the floor, but finally his thoughts became clearer and he settled his gaze on Janus.

His brother was kneeling by Sirius' side, checking his pulse and then prying an eye-lid open and looking at his eyes.

His wand was still trained on Sirius no matter if the other seemed unconscious or not, and with his free right hand we has wiping away the blood from his face and was gingerly fingering his nose.

It took Remus a moment to make the connection between Janus' bleeding nose and his elbow colliding with something, but even when he did it wasn't as if he lost all that many thoughts on it. A small healing charm was all it would take to remedy this little injury. His eyes fell back on Sirius, just waiting for a moment to strike again. He wasn't finished with his former friend yet, the wolf wasn't finished with him yet. Not nearly. Not after what had happened to Harry.

The feeling of Lucas' wand being poked into his ribs – hard – brought Remus' thoughts back to the present. As he could not see Lucas who was standing behind him he turned his eyes on Janus again, realizing with quite a start that his brother was obviously talking to him. It took a lot of effort for Remus to manage concentrating on Janus' lips enough to make his words reach him through the numb haze he was still caught in.

"...do you hear me?"

Remus blinked twice and tried to still his erratic breathing and heartbeat.

"What?", he managed to bark out between his magically clenched jaw.

"I said that you will calm down immediately. For Merlin's sake, this here is serious! Calm down now! I know what you feel like right now, but we won't get out of here anyhow if you keep attacking him at any given possibility! When will you get it into that thick head of yours: You. Are. Not. In. Charge. Here! Understood? I take the curse off now, but if you as much as look at him wrongly I won't hesitate to stun you and levitate you around, is that understood? This is not kindergarten here!"

Remus didn't nod, he couldn't have even if he had wanted it, but Janus didn't expect an answer anyway. It had been a rhetoric question, Remus was aware of that, and when Janus was being in charge and this professional things were going after his will, whether he had to enforce it or not.

"_Finite Incantatem!"_

As soon as the curse was lifted, Remus' knees gave away a little and only Lucas' grip on his shoulders prevented him from falling down. Still breathing harshly, he waited for the momentary weakness in his limbs to pass, aware of Lucas' wand which was constantly pressed between his ribs. He didn't look at Sirius, knowing that it would only make his anger flare up again.

But even if he had wanted to move towards Sirius again, Remus wasn't all that sure he could have. Lucas still held him in a death grip, the wand that was poking into his ribs with bruising force and unmistakable warning. But even if he had been able to move, Remus wasn't so sure whether he still had any strength left to attack him again.

He still felt numb, but it no longer was the kind of numbness that served to better channel his anger. He felt as if he was trying to wade through ice-cold water, and standing on his own feet was getting more and more difficult. Breathing already seemed like a nearly infeasible task to him, and the grip Lucas had on him now didn't serve to hold him back from attacking Sirius anymore, but more and more became the only thing keeping him upright.

Realization hit him hard.

Harry was dead.

Over the past days, the desperate search for Harry and the faint hope to find the child alive had kept Remus going despite his physical exhaustion and his own injuries.

But now Harry was dead and nothing made sense anymore. Whatever had been driving Remus over the past days had burned out and there was hardly anything keeping him upright anymore.

To be honest, Remus didn't know what still kept him going. He felt numb and drained, and was trying forcefully to push all his emotions, all the despair, pain and anger he felt upon what had happened to Harry into the background so that he would not break down under their weight. It didn't work.

Harry was dead, and that meant that nothing would ever be good again.

Only minutes ago, the wolf had been threateningly close to the surface despite the fact that full moon was still over a week away, but by now it had vanished again, retreated into the farthest corner of his human host's mind, whimpering and whining for the loss of its pup. Remus felt that he was starting to shake as slowly the realization trickled through.

Harry was dead.

Remus moved over towards the side and leaned weakly against the wall.

Lucas eyed him warily, but though he didn't let his attention stray from guarding Remus he didn't hinder him either. The exhaustion of the past days, the strain he had been under ever since the night of the attack was suddenly catching up quickly with Remus and his legs felt suspiciously weak.

Why should they still try and find a way out of here anyway? Janus maybe, he had a family to return to. But Remus could as well curl up on the floor here and wait for someone to come by and end his pitiful existence.

He had failed Harry, he had not been able to prevent his child from getting hurt and killed, he had not been there when his pup had needed him most. He had failed, and now he could as well hope to die soon. Without Harry, there was no sense in life anyway. During the past five years Harry had been the single most important thing in his life, but only now did Remus fully realize just how much Harry had meant to him. And without Harry, there simply was no sense in life anymore.

On the other side of the room, Janus was not paying any attention to his brother.

He had been forcefully pushed to the side when his Remus had thrown himself at Black again, and no matter what he had tried, he had been unable to tear Remus away from the convict. The only reward for his efforts had been a sharp elbow jab against his nose which had effectively knocked him back and nearly knocked him out as well.

As if through a haze Janus had watched, but he had not really seen Black's futile efforts to strike back, he had not really noticed any of Lucas' attempts to tear the two men apart. Until a couple of long moments after Lucas had immobilized Remus, Janus had not seen anything aside from Remus in his mindless rage.

Sure, he had definitely seen Remus angry a couple of times, especially when they had been younger. And though Remus had always been an extremely self-restrained person Janus was one of the few who could claim to have irritated him enough to get into a physical brawl with him.

Remus was thin and scrawny, a fact that hid his physical strength excellently, as Janus had experienced more than once.

But never – on not one single occasion in the twenty-eight years of his little brother's life – had Janus seen him lose control like that. Keeping his guard up had always been an important strategy to keep the wolf at bay for Remus.

That was it, Janus realized.

Remus had no longer done anything to keep the wolf at bay.

Janus and Remus had never been close, and even during the past five years Janus had forcefully pushed any thought about Remus' disease into the back of his mind, locked it up safely where he would not be forced to confront the thought. And now he had seen Remus lose control to the wolf, now he no longer had a chance to evade the painful truth:

He was afraid of Remus.

Afraid not of the little brother he knew, but of the potential that was slumbering inside of him. Afraid because there was a large part of Remus' personality he could neither predict nor control.

He wasn't even all that sure Remus could predict or control it.

And once that fear was now unleashed Janus realized that no amount of telling himself how irrational he was could make it go away again.

So after he had made sure that Black was unconscious and would stay like that for a while longer he eyed his brother warily.

Something else was nagging on him, something he could not really point his finger on at the moment. Nothing here seemed right, their whole situation was so...surreal, so artificial.

Lucas' voice rose him out of his musings.

"Black?"

Janus looked up. Lucas kept Remus under a pretty close watch since the Full-Body-Bind had been lifted, but right now he seemed to be sure that Remus would not jump at Black's throat anytime soon and had dared to look up inquiringly.

"Out cold for the moment."

Lucas hissed a curse at nobody and nothing in particular.

"Couldn't we wake him up? We really need to get going if we want to get out of here anytime soon."

Janus simply shook his head.

"Nope, I'm afraid Black is out for now. We'll have to move him around. Might be easier anyway, that way he won't struggle around."

"Bloody great! Exactly what we need now."

Janus didn't answer, he merely walked up and down the room, twirling his wand in his hands. Every other step he threw a wary glance into his brother's direction, but Remus wasn't looking at him – his gaze was still turned on Black.

After a moment of pacing, Janus beckoned Lucas to come over to where he was standing slightly out of earshot from the other two.

Lucas looked undecided for a moment, as if debating whether or not to leave Remus unguarded. In the end he did step over to his partner's side, but his wand remained trained on Remus.

"We ought to move, Janus", he said impatiently, whipping slightly up and down on the balls of his feet.

Janus nodded.

"Yeah, I know. I simply have a bad feeling about this, Lucas. There is something I don't see, or am I imagining things?"

Lucas didn't look at him directly, but let his eyes dart across the room.

"I don't like the idea of taking Black and your brother together, not if they're behaving like that. What is their story?"

Janus shrugged.

"Nothing you don't know already. Best friends ever since school – Black even became an animagus for Remus. Ever since Black betrayed the Potters and killed all those others there's only been hatred from Remus' side."

"An animagus?" Lucas shook his head. "Now that's something new." His eyes shimmered slightly in the dim light of the room as they darted back to where Remus was leaning heavily against the wall.

"I can't get rid of the feeling that there's more to it."

Janus' green-brown eyes turned on Lucas, eyebrows raised inquisitively. He had that feeling too, he just couldn't pinpoint its source.

"What do you think?"

Lucas hesitated for a moment, searching for the right words to express what he was thinking. He breathed in and out deeply.

"Black called your brother a traitor.", he finally said, not elaborating it any further. Janus didn't react, but it had not been a question anyway. It had been a statement.

"Twice", Lucas added.

Janus bit his lip and nodded worriedly. If he was honest with himself he had noticed that too, and it had been nagging at him silently.

By now Lucas was looking at him with an intensity that made a shiver run down Janus' spine.

_I keep my door locked at night._

As much as Janus tried to force those thoughts aside, his mind kept on shifting back to a time when he would not have turned his back on Remus if it could have been avoided.

How much had truly changed since then?

An hour ago Janus would have argued that nearly everything had, but after seeing Remus lose control like he had only minutes ago, he wasn't so sure anymore. He simply didn't know.

Lucas' hand gently touched his shoulder.

"Black called your brother a traitor, Janus. Twice."

"I know", Janus finally breathed out. "I know."

"Why?"

Janus shook his head, as if to clear it from his unpleasant thoughts. "I simply don't know what to make of it, all right? But I intent to find out."

Lucas looked at him for what seemed like a small eternity, then he nodded.  
"Just don't forget it, Janus."

"How could I?", Janus answered.

For a moment Lucas looked at Janus, an unreadable expression in his eyes. He breathed in and opened his mouth and Janus already thought that he wanted to say something else. But after a moment of hesitation he breathed out again and nodded towards the staircase in the corner.

"Let's go."

Lucas went back over to where Remus was still leaning against the wall and Janus followed him with his eyes.  
Janus followed him with his eyes, still wondering what Lucas had wanted to say but then chosen to keep for himself, but after a moment he pulled himself out of those thoughts and went over towards where Black was lying. The escaped convict was still lying unconscious after Remus' assault. Blood was running from a split lip and he was featuring some nice future bruises around his eye and along his jaw.

Janus' hand automatically moved to his still aching nose and he gingerly fingered it. It wasn't broken – as Black's nose quite obviously was – but it was still aching nevertheless. Remus had given him a black eye once, years back, but even then he had had himself under a better control than earlier on.

Again, Janus tried to shake those thoughts away. He needed his mind in the here and now if they wanted to get out of here.

"Mobilis Corpus."

Black's body lifted itself a couple of inches off the ground and floated there. Janus watched him dispassionately while Lucas had moved behind Remus again, his wand inconspicuously directed at the younger Lupin brother. Janus didn't know exactly for what reason his partner did that, but he trusted Lucas with keeping an eye on his brother – in all possible meanings. However, right now he preferred to think it was to keep Remus from going at Black's throat again and for no other reason.

They didn't need to talk about where to head next – they had already made clear earlier that the best choice would be to try their luck with the staircase and see if there was a way out in the lower storeys. With a move of his wand Janus directed Black towards the corner, followed by Remus and Lucas who brought up the rear.

It was the only choice they had at the moment, and that was exactly what gave Janus such a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He liked to know his enemy, he liked to see them.

Right now he had neither luxury, only the sinking feeling in his stomach that they were walking straight into a trap.

And after what had happened during the past half hour he didn't even know whether danger could not also come from an unexpected source...from a source much closer than he had expected. He looked over towards Lucas and his brother, wondering what more revelations this evening would bring for them. He didn't have a good feeling about all this, not at all.

Janus held his wand tightly in his hand as they descended the stairs, ready and willing to let the levitation charm on Black drop any moment to turn his wand on any potential danger.

They reached the end of the staircase and with a gesture of his hand he told Lucas to take over levitating Black for a moment. Carefully, Janus rounded the corner, his wand outstretched in front of him. A completely bewildered look settled on his face as soon as he saw just what awaited them there.

Janus had expected them to find another corridor at the end of the staircase, just like the ones they had already walked through. But instead of a long corridor with doors to the left and right the staircase ended in what appeared to be one large chamber with stone walls and a damp stone floor. Torches lightened up the room from one side – Janus guessed that it was the northern wall. High into the ceiling of the opposite wall windows were set, too high to look out directly. All Janus could see was that the sky was dark and cloudy. But neither that nor the fact that they had obviously finally reached the ground level could hold Janus' attention for any longer than necessary.

What had been one of the first things to draw his attention was the fireplace located in the far off corner of the room.

They had finally found a way out of that mansion!

With a bit of luck it was connected to the floo network, but even if things continues with the bad luck they had had all evening, connecting it to the network was not all that difficult and time-consuming for somebody who knew how to do it. Fortunately, Janus did and so did Lucas.

But still he did not storm over to the fireplace blindly. The mere fact that no threat was to be seen in the room didn't mean that hey were alone, let alone safe here.

His wand raised, Janus deposited Black on the floor near the wall, and trusting that Lucas would keep an eye on things he slowly went over towards the fireplace.

Janus slowly crossed the hall, his footsteps echoing loudly off the walls and ceiling, no matter how silently he tried to tread. He reached the stone construction and warily eyed it for a moment as if expecting a trap. He still didn't like the idea that it had been rather easy for them to come down here, that they had not encountered any obstacles apart from Black – and he hadn't been that much of an obstacle, come to think about it. But surely the reason for Black to bring them here had not been to make it this easy for them to get away again.

Janus placed a couple of tracking and revelations spells on the fireplace, but they came up negative. No booby traps there, another piece in the ever-growing puzzle of what all of this meant. Not connected to floo network either, unfortunately. Well, if he hurried he could connect the fireplace in less than five minutes, so they should not be stuck here all too long. And if that for some reason should not work, Janus was willing to try levitating themselves out of the windows, he didn't care how they got out of here as long as they finally managed it.

With a short look towards the other side of the hall he tried to assure himself that things were still as he had left them. And indeed, Black was still lying against the wall, and Remus was leaning opposite of him with Lucas standing close by. Lucas' wand, he noticed, was still inconspicuously trained on Remus.

Seeing him turn around had drawn Lucas' attention, and now Janus gestured him that he would quickly connect the fireplace to floo network, using gestures rather than words. For some reason, he had the feeling that shouting around in the hall would be a bad choice. Lucas seemed to understand nevertheless, because he nodded and turned back to what he had been doing before –watching the entrance through which they had come and keeping an eye on Remus and Black.

Janus turned and started to work, allowing himself to go over everything in his mind again as he carried out the necessary spells and wand-waves with long-practiced ease.

Where was the sense in going the lengths of transporting them all into this mansion if it was only a matter of time until they found a fireplace and thus a way out? Okay, maybe Black had not planned to bring _him_ here, but Remus and Lucas had obviously been targeted with the portkeys. Why?

He could understand that it had been about Remus for Black, but why Lucas? It simply didn't make sense.

And what was nagging even more at him was the question Lucas had thrown up again. Why had Black called Remus a traitor? Black had been the one to betray his friends to Voldemort, Black had nearly gotten Harry killed, not Remus. Remus had every right to call Black a traitor, but the other way around? That just didn't make sense.

It would only make sense if...but no. Janus could not allow himself even to think that. Sure, it would make sense if Black had at one point thought that Remus was on his side as well, but that just could not be. Janus knew his brother, knew that he would not have betrayed his friend and joined Voldemort's ranks, that thought alone was ridiculous. Not the Remus he knew, never in a thousand years.

But hadn't he thought a bit differently only a couple of minutes ago? He could say those things for sure about the Remus he knew, but only minutes ago he had realized that there was a large part of his brother's personality that he didn't know at all. Just how much control did the wolf have over Remus' mind? Over his actions and judgements? Was it possible, was there even the slightest chance that somehow his brother was more deeply involved in all this than he had thought so far? Not during the past years, that much Janus knew, but years back maybe? Had maybe something happened between the two of them all those years ago?

As much as Janus tried to think, he simply could not find a satisfying explanation as to why Black should call his brother a traitor. Maybe he was just plain mad, after all he had spent the better part of the last six years in Azkaban. But somehow, that thought didn't give Janus any comfort at all, as if he knew that this was a straw to cling to, but nothing more. Black had seemed disoriented, angry, confused, all that, but definitely not mad. If there was one thing Janus was sure about, then it was that.

There was something about the connection between Black and Remus that he didn't know about yet, and that was the cause for the uneasy, leaden feeling that had settled in his stomach.

Just as he was about to finally finish connecting the fireplace, a muffled curse behind him and the sound of his name made him turn his head.

"Janus!"

Turning around quickly Janus all but forgot the fireplace as his eyes fell on the scene at the other end of the room. Lucas was struggling to pull Remus back towards the far off wall, but Janus' brother didn't even seem bothered by that. Instead, he was violently trying to free himself from Lucas' grip, trying to get to where Black was lying. Looking at the escaped convict Janus found that Black had woken up again, but that didn't seem to be the reason for Remus' mindless anger.

Immediately, Janus hurried over to where Lucas was trying to keep his grip on Remus. Janus ran across the hall towards them, far less carefully than he had crossed it into the other direction earlier on. In a combined effort both Unspeakables managed to get Remus pushed against the far off wall again, though he not once seized his struggles against their hold.

"Remus! Remus, for fuck's sake, calm down! What is going on?"

Janus desperately tried to still his brother's frantic movements, he tried to make sense of the words and fragments Remus was shouting at Black, but as much as he tried he could not. He was actually surprised that his little brother still had so much strength left after all that had happened during the past week, but seeing him like that did nothing to alleviate his worries. Seeing Remus lose control like that twice in an hour's time scared him.

Mentally apologizing for it already, Janus slapped Remus hard in the face, then stepped into his line of vision and blocked his view on Black.

"Remus, come on talk to me. What in Merlin's name is going on with you? What is it this time?"

But Remus only twisted and turned his head, trying to get a good view on Black again, all the while cursing and shouting.

"Remus! What the fuck is happening?"

"The bloody bastard, I knew it! I knew something like that would happen. I knew it!"

"Remus, what the fuck are you talking about?"

But Remus only continued to struggle against him, shouting over and over again that he had known it and that he would strangle Black.

Janus could feel himself losing his control quickly, fighting hard against his urge to knock some sense into his little brother. His hand automatically reached for his wand and drew it, noticing from the corner of his eye that Lucas had his pointed straight at Remus. And while he was still thinking about what he could possibly do, Lucas was poking that wand hard into Remus' ribs, his eyes looking towards Janus as if seeking for an answer there. But Janus didn't know what to do, either.

Lucas forcefully pushed Remus back against the wall – again – and tried to catch the other's eye. Remus struggled against his hold, but Lucas grabbed his chin in his free hand and forcefully turned his head so that their eyes met. Lucas' glare could have frozen boiling water.

"Now the two of us will have a little chat, how about that? And you'd damn better have some good answers, because my patience is running thin, and I didn't have much to begin with.

What the fuck is going on here?"

Remus stopped his attempts to look at where his former friend was lying bound up on the floor and stared at Lucas with wide eyes, panting slightly.

"What?"

"I think you understand me. What is going on here?"  
Remus shook his head.

"I don't...I know just as much as you do, all right? But listen, I don't know how Sirius did it but..."  
"No, I get the feeling that you know a little more than we do, isn't it so?"

"What are you talking about?"  
Remus' eyes darted over towards Janus, but his brother was merely watching his partner's interrogation silently, himself not quite knowing what would come next. But Lucas had managed to tear Remus out of his frenzy, and that was something he had not been able to do. Something was fishy here, had been all the time, and he got the distinct feeling that Remus knew the answer to all those questions. He still kept on telling himself that surely he was wrong and that Remus would never do something like that, but the more time passed the worse his gut feeling about all this became. What if Remus had truly...

Remus shook his head as he got not reaction out of his brother and turned back to Lucas.  
"What the fuck are you talking about?", he repeated.

"I'm talking about the rather large number of things that simply don't seem to fit here."

"And what makes you think I know anything more than you do?"  
"Why did Black call you a traitor?"

"What?" Remus' eyebrows shot up and nearly disappeared beneath his hairline.

"Black called you a traitor. Twice. Care to explain that?"  
Remus would have laughed, had the situation not been so serious.

"How should I know? Sirius is mad, how should I know what made him say that? Listen, we don't have time for this, there is something you need to know!"

But Lucas completely ignored the last part of this statement, instead he kept on glaring at him. Remus' eyes sought out his brother, trying to find help against Lucas' senseless pestering there. They simply had not time for this, if they would only let him tell them! But Janus only looked at him with an unreadable expression.

Remus felt Lucas move behind him again, felt Lucas' wand which was pressed firmly between his ribs again. By now Remus was convinced that he would be bruised there tomorrow. If he lived until tomorrow, that was. And at the moment he was not entirely convinced of that anymore.

"What are you talking about, Janus? What are the two of you talking about?"

Remus didn't particularly like his situation at the moment. Sirius was still bound up on the other side of the room, Lucas was still pointing his wand at him though with Sirius out unable to move there was no actual need for that, and Janus had a look in his eyes which made shivers run down Remus' spine. His brother had not looked at him like that for a long time. And the two still didn't know what was really going on here.

"Remus, tell me that it's not true."

Janus' voice was merely a whisper, but it was weighing with something that scared Remus. He knew this side of his brother, knew the emotionally detached sound of his voice and the steely look in his eyes. He knew the professional side of Janus Lupin, only had he never thought it would ever be turned towards him anymore. Not after the past few years. Something was absolutely not right here.

Lucas' breathing sounded loud and harsh in his ears, but Remus only looked at his brother.

"What are you talking about?"  
"Why did Black call you a traitor, Remus?"

"I already told you I don't know. If you'd finally let me explain..."

But again he didn't get a chance to finish his sentence.

"I only wonder", Lucas whispered into Remus' ear, "Why somebody who betrayed his friends – your friends, Remus – and sold them out to You-Know-Who, why somebody who managed to abduct Harry Potter despite all the protection around him should call you a traitor? That doesn't make sense, does it?"

Remus' heard beat so fast he thought it would jump straight out of his throat any moment.

"What???"  
"That would only make sense", Lucas continued in the same threatening whisper, "if you had been working together with him at some point. When was it, five years ago? Did you support him in selling out the Potters and then let him take the blame for it? Did Black pay in Azkaban for something you both planned out while you made yourself a nice life? Or did you help Black to get out of prison two weeks ago but then left him on his own on the run from the Ministry? A combination of both maybe? Which was it, Remus?"

Remus was too stunned to say anything for a moment. Lucas could not be serious, could he? Remus' eyes darted from Sirius to Janus and back again, as if the answer to all his problems was to be found somewhere here in this room. His gaze fell on Janus, but his brother only stared back, his eyes hard and his gaze devoid of any emotion. Remus' throat constricted. This was ridiculous. Janus knew him, he knew that Lucas' idea was just plainly mad. He could not possibly believe that...

"Janus, it's not like that. Listen to me for a moment, okay? I..."

Remus realized how pitiable he sounded and he was aware that this didn't help him in his momentary situation. A pained expression crossed Janus' features and Remus felt Lucas' grip on him tighten painfully. Janus closed his eyes for a short moment and breathed in and out deeply.

"Fuck Remus, why? Why?"

"No Janus, you have to listen to me! It's not what you think..."

The famous last words of the guilty villain in any muggle movie. Remus' words died on his lips as he watched his older brother slowly raise his wand until it pointed straight at Remus' chest.

"Why Remus?"


	16. Never Say Things Can't Get Worse

Hello everybody! I hope you all had a good Christmas time and thoroughly enjoyed yourself. I took the time over the holidays to continue writing this story, so here is chapter 16. Good news is that chapter 17 is also nearly finished. The end is near, my dear readers. Finally!

For all those who have not realized it yet, the **updated version of chapter 15 is up. Better go and check whether you read the changes after the flashback, they might be important to understand this chapter.**

And now without further ado:

Enjoy!

**Never Say Things Can't Get Worse**

Richard Lupin had never felt as helpless in his life as when he had to watch his two sons being transported away in a blur of colour and movement. At first he didn't even really know what had just happened, a distant part of his brain screamed at him that he had just watched a portkey activate, but another part of his brain refused to believe that.

This could not have happened.

For a moment he stared transfixed at the spot where only seconds ago Remus had sat, not noticing that he had started to shake badly.

This simply could not have happened!

It had been bad enough when Remus had been attacked in his own house – in the one place that they had considered to be a safe haven for him and Harry. But against all odds Remus had survived, he had been safe again. Or so Richard had thought.

Over the years he had gotten used to the thought that whatever was happening in the wizarding world, his eldest son was standing in the line of fire. Or rather he had tried to get used to it as much as a father could possibly get used to the thought that his son had a job which could get him killed. That was already difficult enough for Richard to bear, but seeing not only one but _both_ of his sons transported straight into what could very well be a deadly trap was too much, especially after all they had been through during the past days. And he had not been able to do anything against it, he could not have helped his sons.

Richard was shaking so badly that it took him some time to realize that somebody had put their hand on his shoulder and was squeezing it slightly. As he turned his head he was unable to tell whether a minute or an hour had passed since the portkey had activated. His eyes fell on Serena's scared face and he attempted to console her, to say something that would take the terrified expression from his daughter-in-law's face, but he could not think of anything.

"What was that, Richard? What did just happen here? Where is Janus?"

Richard simply shook his head, wearily struggling up from the sofa.

"Portkey", he only said, shocked at how weak and shaky his voice sounded.

"We need to call somebody! Where did Janus go? We need to tell somebody what happened!"

Richard nodded, kneeling down on the rug in front of the fireplace. For the moment ignoring that Serna sounded slightly hysterical already he reached for the floo powder, hoping that the one person who might be able to make sense of things was at home. Throwing some of the powder into the flames he called out "Hogwarts, Headmaster's office", stuck his head into the flames and inwardly prayed that Albus Dumbledore was there.

It took a longer moment until Richard finally saw the older wizard's face appear in front of him, a worried frown on his face.

"Richard, I have to say that this is unexpected. Are there any news?"

As Richard didn't answer, the frown on Dumbledore's face grew even more pronounced.

"Did something happen?"

Richard only nodded.

"Yes, and I'd be glad if you could come over. I'd rather not talk about it via the fireplace."

Dumbledore nodded after a moment of thought.

"I shall be over in a few minutes. But this is not your younger son's house, if my old eyes don't betray me."

"No, it's Janus' place." He quickly gave Dumbledore the password for Janus' fireplace, then as the flames flickered out and he pulled his head from out of the fireplace, he sank back on his knees with a sigh.

The situation had gone out of their control so quickly, too unexpectedly. And if there was one thought Richard didn't want to pursue, then it was that he might see neither of his sons again after this night.

Maybe Dumbledore would know what to do, would be able to reassure, though Richard doubted it quite a bit.

As he got to his feet again he realized that Serena was still standing behind him, staring motionless into the fire. He stepped over towards her and put a hand on her arm.

"Serena? Are you all right?"

Stupid question, Richard scolded himself. She had to be feeling absolutely splendid after seeing her husband being taken by a portkey to Merlin-knows-where, especially since the number of people who could have sent the portkey was extremely limited.  
"Sorry, stupid question."

Serena didn't react, so Richard went over to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Where did he go? Richard, where is Janus?", Serena all but sobbed into his shoulder. Richard just held her tightly, shaking his head in an answer.

"I don't know, Serena. But I'm sure he's all right. Janus can look after himself, he'll be all right."

Richard flinched at his own words. Falsely encouraging platitudes, something they absolutely didn't need now. Normally he knew that, but he realized how much he himself needed to hear that right now. How much he needed to believe and how little he actually could.

He led Serena over towards the sofa and gently pushed her down.

"Professor Dumbledore will be here soon, I'm sure he'll be able to shed some light onto it all."

Another platitude added to the list, another time Richard winced at his own words.

"Julia is asleep?"

Serena nodded, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her robe.

"Yes, she is sleeping and with a bit of luck won't realize anything until tomorrow."  
Richard nodded mutely. A crying and wailing Julia was the last thing they needed now.

Richard gave a start as the flames in the fireplace sprang to life and a moment later Albus Dumbledore emerged, looking worriedly around the room. His eyes fell on Richard and while he was still brushing the soot off his robes he went over to where they were sitting.

Richard got up from the sofa.

"Thank you for coming so quickly."

Relived, he shook the older wizard's hand and lost no time with unnecessary preambles. Before Dumbledore could even ask, he told him what had happened.

"Ten minutes ago an owl delivered a letter and a parcel which Janus and Remus opened. It was from Black, or whoever it is who is having Harry." He sighed. "In the parcel there was a portkey."

Dumbledore looked a bit surprised.

"It took them both?"  
Richard nodded. "I don't think it was intended, but yes, they're both gone."

Dumbledore carefully picked up the letter from the floor where it had fallen after the portkey had activated. Richard didn't follow Dumbledore's lead, he had seen enough of that message earlier to feel physically sick.

Dumbledore turned the note slowly in his hands as if the answer to all questions was to be found there if he only turned it the right way.

"I assume the owl left after it delivered the letter and parcel?"

Richard nodded.

"What was used as a portkey?"

Richard swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. It had been so devious.

"Harry's stuffed lion. A damn sure way to make sure Remus would pick it up."

He turned towards the door and bit his lips, willing his composure not to break just now. There would be a time for that, but it definitely was not now. Over the years Richard had brought the art of keeping his composure no matter how much he felt like breaking down and crying to perfection. And he had learned that there was always a 'later' when he could let his own emotions out, some point in the night when he was alone in his bed and his sons weren't there to see him break down. Or his daughter-in-law, as it was now.

"I'll quickly get us some tea."

When Richard came back into the room a couple of minutes later, carrying a tray with tea in his hands and his composure gained back unshaken, he found Dumbledore sitting on the sofa next to Serena and talking to her in a low, soothing tone. Serena listened to what he was saying and though she didn't appear calm she at least looked a bit better than some minutes ago.

Richard placed the tray onto the table and poured tea with only slightly shaking hands. Then he sat down on the sofa next to Serena and looked at Dumbledore.

"What can we do?"

Dumbledore sighed.

"I'm afraid at the moment there is nothing we can do."

"What? But...I mean, surely there is something – anything we can do! My two sons have vanished some minutes ago and I refuse to sit back and wait to see when they get back, _if they get back at all!"_

Dumbledore watched Richard calmly, waiting for the other man's outburst to pass before he replied in a calm manner that if possible angered Richard even further.

"I have sources that might be able to tell me more about the situation, Richard, but until I hear from them...we will have to wait. I know it isn't easy, but at the moment it's all we can do.

We might call up Janus' partner, Mr. Spalding, to see if he knows anything. And maybe he knows what strings to pull in the DMLE to make them take a look at it – unfortunately I have hardly any contacts in the Department myself.

Let us contact Mr. Spalding, then we can think of what to do."  
Richard nodded and was just about to turn towards the fireplace again when suddenly a flash of bright white light shot though the room, temporarily blinding Richard despite the arm he had quickly raised to shield his eyes. He heard Serena scream in shock to his left, but as he opened his eyes again and turned towards his daughter-in-law, his gaze fell on Dumbledore and the fact that the old headmaster didn't seem all that surprised calmed him somewhat. Gently, Richard put an arm around Serena and looked at Dumbledore.

"What was that?" 

Then his eyes fell onto the thing Dumbledore held in his hand and though he didn't hide it from view it took Richard quite a long moment to recognize it for what it was - a phoenix feather.

Not that this explained things, on the contrary it only posed more questions. Phoenixes were extremely rare as far as Richard knew, and he had not heard about them voluntarily shedding their feathers for anything else than wand production. And even those were pretty rare occurrences.

Hold that thought.

Dumbledore had a phoenix in his office, hadn't he? Yes, now that Richard thought back he remembered the magnificent bird. Now, if a phoenix had already chosen to stay with Dumbledore - an exceptional occurrence in itself - then it would not seem all that surprising for him to receive a phoenix feather, though the cause for that was still a mystery to Richard.

"What does that mean?"

Dumbledore looked up from where he had been studying the feather in his hands, a sudden urgency crossing his features.

"Richard, I'm afraid I'll have to make use of your fireplace again. Why don't we finish this conversation in my office at Hogwarts?"

Richard stumbled across this last part.

"But what of Janus and Remus? Wouldn't it be wise to wait here for news?"

Dumbledore shook his head, his blue eyes turning their intense gaze on Richard's.

"This is too big of a coincidence to not be connected to your sons." He turned towards Serena. "Or your husband respectively. I am nearly sure that whatever news awaits me in my office is closely connected to them."

"How do you know? What about that phoenix feather? From all I know, it is very unusual for them to shed their feathers for humans."

Dumbledore nodded.

"Yes, it is. But Fawkes is something special. Nevertheless I know he would not have parted from that feather if it hadn't been necessary to inform me about an emergency. It is important that I return to my office quickly."

Richard nodded. "All right, we'll come with you."

Dumbledore nodded.

"The password to my office fire is 'liquorice'."

And with that, the old wizard turned, grabbed some floo-powder from the pot on the mantle and threw it into the flames. He shouted out the destination and password and was gone in a swirl of green flames.

Richard gave Serena a smile which he hoped was encouraging, then the two of them repeated the procedure one after another.

By the time Richard stumbled out of the fireplace in the Hogwarts headmaster's office, Dumbledore was already standing beside his desk, reading a piece of parchment with a grim expression on his face which seemed to deepen with every line he read.

Richard stepped closer, making space for Serena's arrival. Silently, he stepped beside Dumbledore and waited until the older man had stopped reading and placed the parchment back on the table. When he looked up he seemingly looked through Richard for a long moment before he focussed his gaze on him.

At that moment Serena came rushing through the fireplace, coughing a bit and brushing the soot off her robes.

"What happened?", she and Richard asked nearly in unison. Dumbledore waited for a moment before he answered, his eyes glued to a map of Great Britain which covered one of the office walls below the snoring images of long-deceased predecessors of Dumbledore's position. With a suddenly renewed urgency he took the map off the wall and levitated it onto his desk while he spoke.

"I think I might have a way to find out where Remus and Janus were transported to."  
Richard's eyebrows shot towards his hairline and he felt anticipation clench an iron fist around his chest.

"How?, he forced out before his voice left him.

"I could be very mistaken, but I think one of my...associates has been called to a meeting of sorts in what I assume to be the place your sons were transported to. I have a tracking charm placed on him for such emergency cases, so it should be only a matter of time until we have an idea where they might be."

Richard looked into Dumbledore's face and felt whatever hope had started to rise up inside of him shatter again at the look in the older wizard's blue eyes.

"What is it?"

Dumbledore sighed and stepped behind his desk, wand at the ready and eyes trained on the map.

"Depending on where my informant was called to and how he travelled there it might take an hour, maybe two, to track that location down."

Richard felt himself shudder as Dumbledore's eye bore into his own, all too easily penetrating to his inner core.

"From all that this note told me", his eyes swept to the scroll of parchment and back again, "that is time your sons don't have. They are caught there and don't even know that they are walking straight into a trap."

As Dumbledore turned his eyes on the map and focussed this mind on performing the tracking charm, Richard sank bonelessly into the chair next to the desk and tried to still his erratic breathing and shaking, hoping that for once in his life Albus Dumbledore was wrong.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Remus' heart was beating so hard he was sure Janus and Lucas could hear it as well. He didn't dare to move even the slightest bit, not with Lucas' wand poking uncomfortably into his ribs and Janus' wand pointing straight at his chest. Within the fragments of a second, hundreds of thoughts shot through his head, some many things he wanted and needed to say, but faced with the fact that his brother was pointing a wand at his heart none of them made it out through his mouth and he simply stood there, opening and closing his mouth for a bit. Struggling against them was useless, Remus knew that the two Unspeakables could have him restrained, stunned or worse in a matter of seconds and he would never even have a chance to stand up against them.

Remus could not stand to look into his brother's face and see the pained expression there. The revelation that his brother thought him able to be somehow involved in all this stung - it stung horribly, if Remus was honest with himself - but there were more important things at the moment. If he could not manage to convince his brother and Janus' partner that there was a more dangerous threat present at the moment, then all the trust issues between himself and Janus would soon become completely unnecessary - because then they would be dead.

"Janus..."

Janus shook his head before Remus could say even more.

"No Remus, whatever it is I don't want to hear it right now. Just tell me _why_, for fuck's sake!"

Remus had never seen Janus this shaken before, though he doubted anybody who didn't know Janus as well as he did would have realized it. But Remus did know his brother and he could clearly see the hurt in his eyes. The hand that pointed the wand at Remus didn't shake, though, but Remus had not expected anything else. Janus was too much a professional to let a little thing like suspicion against his brother make him lose his composure.

Remus felt breathless, as if somebody was forcefully crushing his chest together to stop him from breathing and he realized that he had not felt this afraid in a long time. All evening he had been in danger and had known about it, but then he had still had the hope of finding Harry alive, a hope which had been crushed mercilessly not even an hour ago. And then he had also known his brother to stand on his side and defend him if necessary. The way things looked now, he could not be all that sure that Janus would still do that. And worst of all was that Janus didn't even have a clue yet what was really going on. Would not have a clue, if Remus could not think of anything soon.

"Janus...", he started again, but before his brother could interrupt him this time Remus watched with eyes wide in horror as the first Death Eater in the room took off the disillusionment-charm. Remus gasped slightly and Lucas, who was standing behind Remus, turned his head and suddenly his grip on Remus relaxed somewhat. Janus was puzzled, curiously arching an eyebrow and trying to discern why both Remus and Lucas were staring not at him but at a point somewhere behind his left shoulder, just as if a dangerous animal was luring there, waiting to strike.

"What is going on...?"

Before Janus finished his question, Lucas suddenly sprung into action and pushed Remus to the side with one arm and before Janus really knew what was happening he felt himself being flung to the floor by his partner. He instinctively tightened his hold on his wand, hoping that the impact would not knock it out of his hand and leave him unprepared for whatever was happening now. It had been foolish to think their escape from here would be all that easy, Janus should have known. He felt a curse swirl past over their heads though he had not even heard the incarnation being said. As always in a duelling situation Janus felt an icy calm flow through his veins, a not all that negative anticipation for what was to come which enabled him to keep his expression calm and his hands from shaking.

As fast as he could Janus rolled himself into a ball and balanced his impact, turning the force of his fall into a sideward movement despite the protests of his aching ribs, scrambled to his knees and brought up his wand, quickly pointing it roughly into the direction Lucas and Remus had been staring earlier on.

His heart stopped beating for a couple of seconds as he realized just what had happened behind his back.

Where only minutes ago when he had gone to prepare the fireplace an empty room had been, he now looked into the hooded and masked faces of a rather large number of Death Eaters. Janus didn't know if he could see them all from his position, but from what he guessed after the first shock subsided, there were about twenty, maybe twenty five of them. Too many to fight their way through, that much was immediately clear to him. His still steady wand arm was turning from one of the hooded figures to the next, desperately searching for a weak point in their defences. Twenty five - or how many ever else - wands were pointing straight back at him, unyielding.

"Lucas?", he called without taking his eyes off the so far silent figures.

"Here. Disillusionment Charm, I'd say."

Janus nodded, his partner's statement only confirming his own thoughts. And Remus had known that those Death Eaters were here and had let them walk straight into the trap without telling anything.

It was not true and Janus knew that as soon as the thought had formed in his mind.

That was what Remus had wanted to tell them earlier. And with a sudden clarity that hit him like a bucket of cold water dumped over his head Janus also knew that Remus had not known about their presence here because he was involved with them.

He had been so stupid.

So. Bloody. Stupid.

Remus must have smelled that there were others in the room, and when he had realized that Black had lured them into this trap he had tried to attack him again. That also gave more sense to the things Remus had yelled at Black in his rage. And Janus had been stupid enough not to see it for what it was, he had for one short moment dared to doubt his brother and had allowed his attention to stray away from what should have been his main aim: bringing them out of here alive. Something which suddenly seemed to have moved into a very big distance.

The whole process of realization after his short and taciturn conversation with Lucas only took a couple of seconds, but it made the hairs on the back of Janus' neck stand up. Whatever their situation was now, he needed to get them - and especially Remus - out of here. Alive, in one piece, and fast.

"Remus?"  
"I'm here", came the somewhat shaky reply from somewhere behind him and to the left, and without taking his eyes off of the Death Eaters in front of him Janus moved slightly to the side and placed himself between his brother and most of the Death Eaters. He would not be able to cover Remus completely, but at least the brunt of any possibly attack should thus be distracted from his him.

The Death Eaters were watching them impassively so far, one of them standing slightly in front with his head cocked to the side as if he was watching a particularly fascinating display. Janus did not see it, but he was sure that the man was smiling behind his mask. Or smirking, more like it. His wand came to a rest pointing at that particular Death Eater and though he could not see it he knew that Lucas was covering another one of them just as closely. They were outnumbered, sure, but that didn't have to mean that they would lower their defences for as long as possible.

"_Expelliarmus_!"  
No matter how tightly Janus had gripped his wand it flew out of his hand and into the outstretched palm of the Death Eater he had pointed it at, along with Lucas' and Remus'. So much for putting up a fight. Janus' mind was racing, trying to find out if he knew that voice. He could not say for sure, but even if he did, what good would it do? He thought about slowly rising from his knees into a standing position because he didn't like the fact that all those Death Eaters were literally towering above him, but quickly decided against it. He really didn't need them to feel provoked now, really not. Next to him, Lucas slowly slid closer, and without looking directly at him Janus still knew that his partner tried to cover the remaining space between Remus and the Death Eaters. Janus knew how Lucas' mind worked, he was convinced that he had come to the same conclusions than he had in the past minute.

"And what now?", Janus taunted the Death Eater in front of him, desperate inside to find out a bit more about their situation, to get to know at least part of the Death Eaters plan and maybe find the one small hole that would allow them to flee. The fireplace was connected, they only needed to activate it and off they were. If only...

Somehow, Janus was sure that they would not get a chance to leave thusly. Not with twenty five opponents who were watching their every move.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know, Lupin?"

So they knew who he was. That meant either the portkey had indeed been for him and not for Remus, or even if not they still knew who he was. And did he know the voice? Janus was not sure.

"Get up! Slowly, and keep your hands where I can see them."

Slowly, Janus, Lucas and Remus complied. Five or six of the Death Eaters constantly held them at wand point while the others circled on the other side of the room as if they were waiting for something else to begin.

Janus felt his heart beating fast in his throat and tried to evaluate their situation. His wand had been taken, but that didn't mean he was unarmed. There was still the dagger in his right boot, but that would not be of any use for him in his momentary situation. Lucas was equally equipped, Janus knew, but his partner was in no better position for a knife attack right now. If he attacked instead of surrendered to the Death Eaters, he would surely have the element of surprise on his side, but that would not be enough. Janus could take on one, maybe two armed opponents without a weapon himself if he could surprise them, but not twenty-five. That meant he had no way of guaranteeing that his brother would safely make it to the fireplace and out of here, and as long as he could not guarantee that he would not act. Better wait and see what they were playing at, with a bit of patience he might get another chance to do something. Might.

From the corner of his eye he saw Remus rise half-behind him, his eyes fixed on the Death Eaters in front of them. Janus thought that his brother was shaking ever so slightly, but he didn't dare to keep looking at Remus for longer than necessary to make sure that he was all right. Caught in a room with so many opponents, it would be folly to let his attention stray. And he had been fool enough to last for a lifetime tonight already.

The Death Eater closes to them stepped forward and raised his wand. Before Janus had even the chance to think up something to do, thin but tight ropes shot out from the Death Eater's wand and wound themselves around Janus' wrists, pulling his hands forcefully together and binding them at the wrists, thus effectively making him unable to use his arms or hands. So much for the knife in his boots. The same happened to Lucas and Remus and after a repetition of the spell with the wand pointed at his ankles the ropes also wound themselves around his legs, pulling and binding them together with a sudden movement that nearly jerked Janus off his feet. He managed to keep standing, but only for as long as it took the Death Eater to finish binding Lucas and Remus up. Then a forceful push from the man against his chest knocked him down onto the floor where he landed quite painfully on his backside. He drew a sharp breath and his sore ribs took exactly that moment to remind him that they had not entirely recovered from the abuse they had had to take earlier. Barely suppressing a loud and pained groan, Janus bit his lip and then tried to scoot back enough to lean against the wall. Remus was slouched down next to him, but as much as Janus tried to catch his eyes his younger brother stubbornly refused to look at him. Janus opened his mouth to say something, to explain his brother why he had acted as he had done, why working the way he did for as long as he had done had taught him that sometimes a healthy portion of mistrust even against people you liked, respected, cared for and even the ones you loved was the only thing that kept you from getting killed, but at that moment Remus chose to look at him and that look was enough to shut Janus up effectively. Remus' amber eyes spoke volumes of anger, hurt, pain and rejection and Janus suddenly didn't know what he could possibly say to justify himself. There would be a time for that later, if they made it out of here, but until then he'd have to focus all his energy on actually keeping them alive to see that moment.

Janus opened his mouth to say something, but at that moment the double winged door at the far off side of the room was flung open and drew Janus' attention. For a fleeting moment he wondered why he had not even paid any attention to that door before, but even without thinking very hard he knew why. His attention had been focussed solely on the fireplace, that's why. Another unprofessional act to add to tonight's list, and Janus was shocked how long that list was actually getting.

Janus strained to turn his head and look over to where the other Death Eaters were gathered, trying to find out what was happening there now. There were still wands pointed at them, two Death Eaters were still keeping a close eye on them, but all the others in the room were attentively watching what was going on there as well.

"Lucas?"

"Don't see anything myself, mate."

There was a strain in Lucas' voice that had been there all evening but that Janus was completely unable to place. Things were getting out of hand and Janus could do nothing against it.

Their talking earned them a sharp glare from one of the Death Eaters - at least from all that Janus could tell behind the mask the man was wearing - but that was all for the moment.

Inwardly, Janus' mind was abuzz with thoughts and questions. There had been no Death Eater meeting this size ever since Voldemort had vanished, at least none that the DMLE knew of. And their sources were good, very good. But no matter how much they had strived for this kind of information, they had never been informed of a meeting of this size. And if this meeting had been called, why had Lucas not been invited to attend? Or had Lucas been informed...but no. No more of those thoughts, he could not start doubting his partner now. Doubting Remus had already resulted in a very dire situation, and until he knew better he'd keep himself from those sorts of suspicions. Truly, Lucas had been acting strange lately, but that could have a number of reasons which didn't necessarily have to be connected to the events of the past hour at all.

So all right, if those Death Eaters had decided upon a meeting and had only called together something like the inner core of their organisation, then what was the use in that? Why had Harry been kidnapped? And how did Black fit into all this?  
All right, store that problem for later, Janus needed to focus on more urgent matters now. For one: how on earth were they supposed to get out of here, preferably alive? And what were those Death Eaters up to over there near the other door? One should think that capturing two of the Department's best Unspeakables should be a feast for the remnants of Voldemort's servants, but they didn't pay them any more attention than was necessary to guard them. But what were they up to? From his point of view Janus could not see, but ever since that door had opened and whoever had come through it the main focus of attention had shifted towards what was going on there.

A sinking feeling started to spread through Janus' stomach, clenching it painfully as the truth settled in. If not a miracle of the bigger sorts happened soon, they would not make it out of here. Janus had been in a number of seemingly hopeless situations before, but he had never had the feeling that he was not going to get out again before. But this was different than one of his and Lucas' missions. This time neither of them had been prepared for something like this, and there was no backup plan they could make use of in case things went wrong. They were on their own now, they were unarmed and outnumbered. No chance than to wait and play along with the Death Eaters' plan for as long as it was necessary to find something that evened out the chances a bit better.

Janus shuffled around a bit until he found himself in a straight sitting position and craned his neck to see what was going on at the other side of the room. But even if he had been standing, the many Death Eaters would still have blocked his view. He turned his head to look at Lucas, but his partner stared just as helplessly into the same direction, seemingly not knowing anything more about it than he did. Nevertheless Janus attracted his attention by poking his elbow slightly into his partner's ribs. Lucas slowly turned his gaze on Janus and again Janus had the impression that there was a trace of...knowing something – for a lack of better words – in his partner's eyes.

"What is going on here?", he hissed at Lucas, nearly laughing out loud with the ridiculousness of his attempt to whisper. The only way to better draw the attention of the Death Eater who was guarding them would have been to shout out loud. Nevertheless, Lucas shrugged.

"I'm not sure. Janus, I think there's something you need to know..."

"Enough!"

The Death Eater's wand was trained firmly on Lucas and Janus again and he stepped closer to interrupt the two.

"You keep your mouths shut or I'll have to shut them for you, understood?"

Janus would have liked to reply that this response was as cliché as it could get, but he wisely decided to keep his mouth indeed shut in this situation. No need to bring any additional ire of their captors over their heads, he'd save his wisecracking for some point later.

Movement to their right made Janus turn his head and made him stop thinking about where he knew that voice from. Maybe he had arrested that Death Eater before, he could not be sure, but even then the list was far too long to keep track of it still. But now the circle of Death Eaters next to him was moving slightly, leaving an opening in their circle. Janus felt an iron fist squeeze his heart as he caught a glimpse of what was going on there. The Death Eaters were moving back to form a large half-circle now, all of them crowding around a large cauldron and what on the first look appeared to be a heap of blue rags or cloths lying next to the cauldron. It definitely looked like a heap of blue cloths that had been piled next to the cauldron – had it not been for the mop of jet black hair and the pale white arm which Janus could see sticking out from beneath the 'rags'. Black hair and a small pale arm.

Harry.

Janus swallowed hard, closed his eyes for a moment and opened them again. The picture had not changed and with a start Janus realized that the ragged, loud sound he was hearing was the sound of his own breathing.

Over there by the cauldron lay Harry.

Janus looked to his right and saw that Lucas too was staring into that direction, his gaze fixed unblinking on the gruesome display in front of them. A sound somewhere between a choked cry and a sob from his left told Janus that Remus had seen it as well, and surely his brother had not needed as long to recognize his godson as Janus had done.

With a strength not expected from someone in Remus' exhausted physical and mental condition he started to struggle against his bonds, a futile effort but Remus did not seem to notice. Janus turned around and wanted to try and calm his brother, but the words died on his lips as he saw the raw pain and agony reflected in Remus' face.

The Death Eaters guarding them turned his wand on Remus immediately, ready to silence him with force when suddenly one of the hooded and masked figures drew out of the circle and walked towards them.

"Don't", was all he said, and the guard immediately lowered his wand again. Janus, however, looked up, that one word having been enough for him to identify the speaker. Lucius Malfoy. Janus had been faced with the man before, during the investigation of Malfoy's case after the first war. He had been present at the main interrogation, listening to the cold, drawling voice as the main claimed to be innocent of all charges. How much Janus had wished back then to just give in to his urges and pound the blond aristocrat into a bloody pulp.

Back then the Ministry had not been able to prove anything against Lucius Malfoy, though they had searched desperately, and good connections as well as – Janus guessed – some well-chosen bribes had him out of custody within a day.

Now this was different, now Janus would be able to testify against him. Only he had the bad feeling that Malfoy took the risk of being identified by him because in the morning none of them would still be alive to bear witness.

Malfoy stepped towards them and came to a halt, for a moment wordlessly staring down at them. Janus was sure he was sneering behind his mask.

"My, my, what do we have here?", came the mocking drawl from above them. Now Janus was sure whom he was facing here, and judged by the way his partner tensed at his side, Lucas knew as well.

"Lupin and Spalding, such a pleasure to have you here."

"Malfoy", Janus grimaced, "how nice to see you again."

If Malfoy was surprised that Janus had recognized him, he didn't show it. But Janus had no way of telling for sure as nothing of Malfoy's face could really be seen. This didn't sit all too well with Janus, he preferred to look into people's eyes and faces when he was talking to them, he liked to be able to read somebody's reaction to the things he said.

He was still breathing harshly despite all his efforts to keep his calm, and his still aching chest was protesting against it. He forced his breathing to even out as much as possible and stared back at Malfoy, trying to keep his gaze on the shining reflections of the torchlight in Malfoy's eyes behind the mask.

"It must sting to have walked blindly into such an obvious trap, am I right?"

Janus shrugged as much as his bonds would allow him, his gaze never wavering. "Not really. But I guess you must have felt pretty stupid to stand around here for hours, gazing stupidly at nothing with a Disillusionment Charm placed on you. I'm sure it must have. Especially for you Malfoy, since you like it so much to strut around and be admired. Must have been pure hell for you."

Janus was pretty sure this wasn't the best of times to wisecrack, but he just could not help himself. That was simply his way to deal with stress situations. He had barely finished his words when Malfoy made a quick step forward and kicked Remus hard in the ribs. Janus had to watch helplessly as his brother was thrown to the side, groaning in pain. Malfoy calmly stepped back to where he had been standing before as if nothing had happened.

For a moment Remus hung to the side, nearly leaning on Janus for support, panting slightly and his face grimacing in pain, before he struggled upright into a sitting position again, wincing. Malfoy stared at them and Janus heard a oft chuckle come from behind the mask.

"The next time, think about it before you get smart with me again. You annoy me, your brother pays the prize. Easy enough to understand, stick to it and we won't have any problems."

Janus swallowed hard and tried not to let show that Malfoy got him. So Malfoy knew how the game was played. Threatening Janus would have been senseless and he knew that, so he threatened his weak point – his brother. 

"Why in Merlin's name should we make killing us even easier for you?"

Again that dry chuckle.

"Ever the optimist, aren't you, Lupin? Why are you so sure about that already?"

Now it was Janus' turn to laugh humourlessly.

"Well, kidnapping and restraining us in a room full of your gang gives me that impression. Don't know why, I just can't help it."

"I see. But now that you're already here, why don't you give your host the courtesy of following the few simple rules I've set you?"

"Why stick to your little rules if you are going to kill us anyway?"

Another hissing chuckle and the head behind the mask was cocked to the side as if in great amusement. Then - within a fragment of a moment - he pulled his leg back and kicked Remus in the ribs again. Harder this time. With a cry of pain he was unable to stifle Remus was pushed against Janus' left side, his breaths coming in short pained gasps now and his eyes screwed shut tightly against the pain. Janus' chest seized up with flaring anger and had he not been bound up as he was he'd surely have jumped at Malfoy right there and then. But as he was bound up he had to settle on glaring at the Death Eater, not a very satisfying thing to do but all he could do for now.

"I thought I had given you a warning about that, am I right? That should be reason enough for you for the moment, Lupin. Next time, I will use my wand and that will mean even more pain for your dear little brother. Or is there something you would like to add?"

Janus wanted to respond, but Malfoy settled on ignoring him and turned towards Lucas, watching him silently for a moment. Janus felt Lucas stiffen beside him but was momentarily distracted from the two men when with a pained moan Remus slowly rose into a sitting position again. He still grimaced slightly as Janus turned towards him and raised an eyebrow in silent inquiry. Remus only shook his head and refused to meet Janus' eyes, so after a moment Janus turned towards his right and Lucas and Malfoy again. Malfoy was still watching Lucas silently and Janus was sure he enjoyed every moment of what was happening.

"Spalding", Malfoy finally drawled out from behind the mask. Lucas remained silent, but Janus was watching his partner from the corner of his eye and was extremely startled by his reaction.

Where Janus normally was the kind of person who would start wisecracking when under pressure, Lucas normally bore everything with a stoic calm, taking things as if he had expected them all to happen and only - if at all - allowed his emotions to show when the danger was over and no harm could come out of it anymore.

Somebody who didn't know Lucas all that well might not have realized it, but Janus saw him shake ever so slightly, his hands balled into fists, and his teeth clenched together so tightly that it hurt Janus only to look at it. Why was Lucas so tense? All right, their situation could hardly be worse, but still Janus knew that this wasn't the reason for his partner's behaviour. But what really was going on Janus was completely unable to say. It was as if his mind had stopped functioning a couple of hours ago and he only now became aware of it.

"Spalding, Spalding", Malfoy drawled mockingly.

"What do you want, Malfoy?", Lucas spat back, the slight tremor in his voice as untypical for him as his shaking was.

"Oh, is that the part of the story when the villain confesses to all his crimes to save enough time for the cavalry to arrive? So sorry to disappoint you, Spalding, but you of all people ought to know that it doesn't work that way here."

Janus looked at his partner, but Lucas' face showed no reaction that would have enabled him to understand what Malfoy was talking about. As far as Janus knew, his partner had never had any contact with Malfoy before, and his last contact to any other Death Eater - suspected or confirmed - had been at least two, more probably three years ago. So what was Malfoy talking about?

But the Death Eater did nothing to shed some light onto the whole affair, instead he gave a mock-bow with his head and turned into the direction of the second door, watching the circle of his 'colleagues' and what they were doing.

Remus was staring fixedly on Malfoy, his face paler than usual and still lined from the pain of Malfoy's earlier kicking. For a moment, Janus wondered why Remus was staring - or rather glaring - at Malfoy like that, but then realization struck. Harry. Black had said that Harry was dead - however he had been able to push that new in the back of his mind for only one moment remained a complete mystery to Janus. But while he was convinced that the meaning of this had not completely sunk in with Remus yet, his little brother was surely searching for somebody to blame. And now Malfoy had shown up in the equation, so Remus was trying to figure out how exactly he fit into all this. And it was no big cognitive leap to suspect that anything related to Malfoy was not something considered good by the average person's standards. And so Remus stared at him and Janus was sure that if he had not been bound up his brother would have loved to jump at Malfoy and pound him nearly as much as Janus himself did. Maybe even more.

For the first time in a very long time Janus felt the overwhelming urge to reach out and take Remus in his arms, to physically shield him from the pain he was going through right now, but as much as he wanted to, he could do nothing. He had brought them into this situation, his stupidity had gotten them unarmed and bound up against the wall with the room full of Death Eaters, a situation where they had to helplessly watch what was about to happen next.

His fault.

All his fault.

"Remus?"

Slowly, as if in trance, Remus turned his head and looked at his brother, his gaze an unreadable mixture between raw pain and fear. He didn't say a word, and Janus feverishly searched for something to say.

"We'll get out of here, all right? Just don't give up on us yet."

Remus gave something that was barely recognizable as a nod, then turned his eyes back on Malfoy.

Janus swallowed hard and followed Remus' gaze. He didn't feel the confidence his words had tried to transport, but he'd do whatever he could to keep his promise and bring Remus out of here. If he only knew how.

But Remus was no longer paying him any attention. His gaze had been drawn back automatically to the spot where his godson lay unmoving, an expression of pure agony etched on Remus' features as he had to watch helplessly without even being able to do anything. All Remus could do was stare at Harry's body and Janus could see how much his brother wished to be at least at Harry's side at the moment.

But Remus was held back by his bonds, no matter how much he tried to get rid of them. Remus moved his wrists frantically against the thin ropes that bound them, but the only effect it had was that he was rubbing his wrists sore and the skin under the ropes broke open.

Immediately, their guard had his wand pointed at Remus again, a curse ready on his lips. Janus frantically tried to think of something he could do to protect his brother, tried to move in between Remus and the wand pointed at him, but as if he had been waiting for this reaction Malfoy stepped closer again, pushing the Death Eater's wand-arm down with his own wand. This time he didn't even need to verbally stop the man from cursing Remus.

His arms crossed in front of is chest the aristocratic Death Eater built himself up in front of Remus again, and this time Janus was sure that Malfoy was sneering behind his mask. He stepped into Remus' line of vision, thus effectively blocking his view on Harry.

"Wouldn't you just like to be rid of your bonds right now?", he taunted. The glare Remus gave Malfoy would have scared most sane people, but the Death Eater seemed pretty unimpressed, even strangely fascinated, just as if he was watching an experiment he had set up to research a question that had occupied his mind for a long time already.

Slowly Malfoy lowered himself into a crouch where he stood, his wand continuing to point straight at the younger Lupin brother's chest. Janus knew that no experienced dueller would prefer to curse from this position, no matter if his opponent was armed or not, but still Janus found himself silently repeating 'please not' over and over again.

"Wouldn't you just want to know what this is all about, Lupin? Wouldn't you just want to know what brought you here?"

Even a Remus didn't answer, Malfoy continued.

"Because if you do, just keep your eyes open, Lupin. Or – if you're really impatient – why don't you ask your brother's partner? I'm sure Mr. Spalding is finally ready to share some details of his past months' pastime activities with you."

Remus' and Janus' heads snapped to their right in unison even as Malfoy got up and turned back to the circle, carefully leaving enough space so that especially Remus could still see what was going on. Janus kept on looking even at Lucas as Remus' eyes were automatically drawn back to where Harry lay.

"What did that mean?"

"Curious, aren't you Lupin?"

Janus did his best to ignore Malfoy, but that was a difficult enough feat as it turned out. If the blond man wanted to be noticed, then he was.

"Spalding knows what I'm talking about, don't you? You know now that it's better not to stick your nose into other people's business."

Lucas didn't answer, he stared back at Malfoy with all the hatred he could muster, but the Death Eater didn't seem to care much. Janus turned toward shim.

"Lucas?"  
Malfoy laughed. "You didn't tell him, did you? Oh, but of course not. Don't trust your partner that much, do you? Or did you want to get all the glory for yourself once you succeeded? Whatever it was, you should have known that snooping around would do you no good."

"Fuck off, Malfoy!"

"_Crucio_!"

Malfoy reacted too fast for any of them to do something. Not that they could have done anything in their momentary state anyway, but now Janus had to sit there and watch his partner writhe in pain on the floor, Lucas' screams echoing hollowly in his ears. Of course the Unforgivable Curses were part of the training in the DMLE and for the Unspeakables, especially Cruciatus and Imperius, but there wasn't much that could be done against it once the Cruciatus curse was in place. What they were told and shown in training mainly served to give the Unspeakables an insight into what they would be facing if put under the curse, not what could be done against it - once the curse was placed there simply was nothing to do against it. Still, Janus didn't like being that helpless.

Malfoy watched Lucas writhe on the floor for a very long time before he lowered his wand again and without another word resumed his place in the circle of Death Eaters, always taking care that he left enough space for them to see what he was about to do next.

But Janus didn't really care about Malfoy at the moment. He was watching Lucas' recovery with a concerned gaze. Lucas leaned heavily against the wall with his eyes closed for a moment, his tongue slowly tracing the inside of his cheek where Janus guessed he had bitten himself. Janus gave him a moment to recover before he started speaking.

"You all right?"

Lucas shrugged, wincing slightly at the movement. "I will be, it's been worse before." He was breathing hard and did not meet Janus' eyes. Janus' stomach clenched. 

He had been willingly able to suspect Remus of being in league with the Death Eaters here - as ridiculous as this thought seemed now - and he had not thought much about Lucas' accusations as he had allowed his partner to convince him of that possibility. But whether it was the reluctance to make the same mistake twice or whether it was more difficult for him to suspect his partner than his brother, but Janus refused to believe that things were like Malfoy made them sound like.

"Lucas?"

Lucas' face was pale and a thin layer of sweat had appeared on his forehead.

"Lucas?", Janus repeated. Finally, Lucas turned his brown eyes on his partner and friend.

"Yes?"  
"What did Malfoy mean?"

A moment of silence followed, then Lucas answered, his voice so low that Janus at first had problems understanding him.

"Too long a story to tell you now, Janus. But it's not what it sounds like. Trust me?"

A short moment of hesitation, stretching out uncomfortably between them, then Janus nodded slowly.

"All right. But once we're out of here I want to hear the full story." He tried to make it sound as if he didn't have the slightest doubt that they would eventually get out of this hopeless situation. He didn't even believe it himself.

Janus allowed his eyes to trail through the room for a moment, and with a start he realized that he had not through about Black at all since he had deposited him in a corner to go and check the fireplace. It wasn't surprising, really, after all there had happened enough to distract him from the escaped convict, but now that his eyes fell onto him again he could not help but wonder.

Black was still lying against the wall, but he no longer was unconscious. His blue eyes were darting through the room as if he was trying to take everything in, his gaze a lot clearer and less mad than it had been earlier. Strangely professional, sending shivers down Janus' spine. Black had been an Auror once, that much he knew. Most promising young recruit of his unit, Moody's favourite from what was talked about in the DMLE. A very promising young Auror Black had been, reckless at times but very clever and powerful. Janus had read Black's file after he had escaped, he knew what people had thought about him back then. Why nobody had suspected him beforehand, why everybody had been so surprised when Sirius Black had snapped and betrayed his friends to Voldemort.

But something was not right about that picture, and that was the fact that Black was still lying tied up against the wall like Janus had left him, and nobody made a move to go over and help him. Strange if he really had been Voldemort's second-in-command during the first war, wasn't it?

A sudden silence fell over the room, making Janus aware that there had been a constant background noise ever since the Death Eaters had taken off their concealments. Janus turned and craned his neck to see something when Malfoy suddenly stepped forward with raised hands - that would explain the sudden silence, then.

"Your excitement is only understandable", his voice could be heard through the room and echoing off the walls, "and tonight there will be enough opportunity to let out that excitement. But first", he gestured towards the cauldron, "there are things that need to be done. That need to be done in order to bring our master back."

The Death Eaters cheered loudly but Janus felt as if somebody had slammed an iron fist straight into his stomach. Voldemort. He should have known that something like this would happen, he had simply no expected it to happen so soon. Not here, not now. And how in Merlin's name were they planning to do this?

Janus didn't know all that much about resurrection or rites to bring spirits back to life, he only hoped that whatever the Death Eaters would attempt doing would fail. A resurrected Voldemort would hit the Ministry at a very weak point and in an uncomfortable time. Fudge would never be able to stand up against such a threat.

Malfoy stepped forward and lit a fire under the cauldron with a wave of his wand, then he stepped beside Harry's slumped and unmoving form on the floor. Janus tensed, though he knew that whatever the Death Eater planned he would be completely unable to do anything against it.

"For more than five years we have waited in the shadows, waited for our Lord to come back. And tonight we have the chance to make this come true. And", he made a dramatic pause and stretched his arm out at Janus, Lucas and Remus, "we have guests who I think will be delighted to witness this great event. And I dare say that our master will be delighted to meet them. Especially the one who was considered his downfall by those who thought our master gone for good."

He waved his arm dramatically at the spot where Harry lay and again Remus lurched slightly forward as if this small movement into the direction of Harry's body was already more than he could stand. Janus automatically tensed, but the Death Eater who was guarding them either did not notice Remus' movement or he didn't particularly care at the moment.

Malfoy circled the whole setting with the cauldron and Harry's body once, then stopped again at his previous position. Janus' mind what wheeling. What could they possibly plan? How could Voldemort possibly be brought back – in this setting, with those people around, and most importantly why did they need Harry for? Because if they didn't need him for some part of their gruesome plan, then surely they'd have deposited of his body already, wouldn't they?

"It was no easy task to find our master, reduced as he was. Harry Potter became the hero of the wizarding world, and I know that all of you who are present in this room have only waited for this moment – the moment to prove all those fools out there that he is nothing like the small saviour they think him to be. Harry Potter is nothing but a weak", he chuckled gleefully, "and _mortal_ child of a foolish mudblood, who by a pure stroke of luck managed to weaken our master. And tonight we are here to set things into the right order again.

It was no easy feat to get hold of Harry Potter, but we have managed. And it was an even more difficult task to find our master and bring him back, bring him here so that we can restore him to power. It aches to see how much our powerful master has suffered from what was done to him, but once this night is over he will be his old self again – even stronger than he ever was – and then nobody, not the Ministry, not Albus Dumbledore, and certainly not Harry Potter will be able to stand up against him anymore."

The Death Eaters cheered loudly, if only for a short moment as if they had rehearsed it, then silence fell again. Malfoy swept his arm in a wide gesture towards his left, beckoning a small figure near the door to come forward into the circle. The small man, after a short moment of hesitation did. He stepped into the middle of the Death Eaters, coming to a halt right next to the cauldron. He looked around insecurely for a moment, his eyes coming to rest on Malfoy. The taller man nodded, and with slightly shaking hands he took off his mask.

A moment of stunned silence followed during which Janus desperately tried to make sense of the whole surreal situation. Then the Death Eater drew back his hood, and next to Janus Remus started to scream.


	17. To Walk Through The Fire

**To Walk Through The Fire**

Richard Lupin was a patient man under normal circumstances. He could sit back if necessary and wait calmly until it was time for him to act, but today he found himself unable to sit back and simply do nothing. He felt like pacing, like apparating somewhere – anywhere – and actually _do_ something to bring his sons back. He could not simply sit back and wait until Albus Dumbledore had found something out.

The Hogwarts headmaster had been relatively silent since his last announcement that they might need more time to track Remus and Janus down than they probably had, and Richard had understandably been a little hesitant in addressing him and thus disturbing him any further. Dumbledore needed to track down the location of his mysterious 'associate', and if that was the only way to find his sons then Richard would be the last person on earth to disturb him.

Serena was sitting on the sofa that stood against the wall, her knees drawn up and her hands resting against her stomach, staring blankly out of the window. She was still frighteningly pale, her lower lip trembling ever so slightly, but for the life of him Richard could not think of anything to say or do that would make her feel better. He himself felt like curling up somewhere and cry his eyes out, so how was he supposed to give comfort to somebody else? The only thing that would make the two of them feel better was if Janus and Remus came back, quickly and unharmed. And if they brought Harry back.

Shortly after they had arrived in Dumbledore's office, Serena had called up her mother in the fireplace and had asked her to take care of Julia for the time being, so at least the child was taken care of and not around for whatever was about to happen next.

A little more disturbing had been their attempt at locating Janus' partner, Lucas Spalding. While Dumbledore had told them that Remus had had no problem to contact his home from the fireplace a number of days ago, this time they had not been so lucky. For minutes Richard had knelt in front of the fireplace and had called up Lucas' house, but without any reply. From previous attempts to reach his son at work he knew that it was pretty hopeless to get a connection to Lucas if he was at the Department. It was nearly impossible for him to reach his own son even if he knew that he was just one door next to the unrelenting secretary, reaching somebody whom he was not related to was a nearly impossible feat, Richard knew. The Department was making a real fuss about their Unspeakables, doing everything to create even greater myths and mysteries around them to keep it a secret how the Department really worked.

Dumbledore had not shown any real reaction when Richard had finally given up his attempts to try and reach his son's partner, but Richard could not help the feeling of urgency that overcame him. He had the sinking feeling that they needed to contact Janus' partner, he only hoped that Dumbledore would find a way to do so.

While Richard had been occupied with the fireplace, Dumbledore had for a short while rummaged around in one of the cupboards behind his desk, then had returned to the map on his desk with another wand in his hand. His own wand was lying next to the map, and the second wand he had fetched didn't look like it belonged to the Hogwarts headmaster. Actually, it was an old wand and it was clearly broken, split in half nearly all the way through, though Richard could not tell by what. Richard was not the most experienced person when it came to fighting, but if the damage this wand had sustained had happened during a duel, then he wondered how the person holding it had survived an attack like that. 

If he thought about it, then surely the wand had once belonged to the person Dumbledore was trying to track down, there was no other logical explanation. A clever choice for an object to perform a tracking charm – there was hardly anything more closely connected to a person than their wand. If they didn't manage to track the mysterious person down with this, then it would become difficult to track him down at all. Tracking Charms worked easily in a close range, but the farther a person was away from the one who tracked him, the more difficult it became to perform a successful tracking charm. It required an object that was strongly connected to the person's magic – that was why the wand was such an excellent choice. That was one reason why no tracking charm had worked to bring up the Harry's position. The child had no wand yet, the most personal things they had had of him had been his clothes and toys and they simply had not been strong enough.

But Dumbledore had been right, if his 'associate' – and by now Richard was really curious who this mysterious person was – had travelled a long distance by portkey or apparition then it would take quite some time until the tracking charm could come up with any results.

Richard wiped his sweaty palms on his thighs, for the umpteenth time praying that they would have a result soon.

Dumbledore was watching the map in front of him intensely, his own wand in his hand and the broken one lying on a spot in the upper part of the map – Hogwarts, Richard supposed. Now they needed to wait until something moved.

Dumbledore suddenly moved away from the desk and stepped over towards the fireplace. He threw some floo powder into the flames and started a call.

"Ministry of Magic, Auror Department, Kingsley Shacklebolt."

The flames in the fireplace flickered, and after maybe half a minute suddenly the head of a tall, bald and dark skinned wizard appeared in the fireplace. He smiled at Dumbledore, a broad smile which showed a lot of straight white teeth, but there was a note of worry in his eyes.  
"Dumbledore. We don't have any news on Potter's whereabouts, I'm afraid. Or do you know something?"

"Maybe, but I would not want to discuss that over the fireplace. Could you come into my office for a moment, Kingsley?"

The dark wizard nodded.

"Sure, just give me a moment."

"Thank you. The password is 'liquorice'."  
Dumbledore stepped back to his desk and looked at the map again, the line on his face hardening as he realized that though the tracking charm was in place there was still no movement that would reveal the location of Janus' and Remus' position.

Maybe five minutes passed, then the flames in Dumbledore's fireplace turned green an in a swirl of robes and soot Kingsley Shacklebolt came out of the fireplace, coughing slightly. He straightened up and smiled at Dumbledore while he dusted his robes off with a wave of his wand.  
"I swear, those Ministry fireplaces have not been cleaned since the last goblin rebellion. So Dumbledore, what are the news?"

Then Kingsley saw Richard and Serena and turned a curious gaze on them. Dumbledore followed his gaze and came forward from behind his desk.  
"Kingsley, those are Richard and Serena Lupin, Remus' father and sister-in-law. This is Kingsley Shacklebolt, and old friend of mine who works in the Auror Department."  
The three of them nodded at each other after that introduction, then Kingsley turned towards the Hogwarts Headmaster again. Dumbledore gestured him to sit, his gaze shifting towards the map every other moment to check whether something had changed.

"I'm afraid we don't have much time, but I need to give you at least a short insight into what happened today. This morning, Remus got himself released from hospital. He was at his brother's house when about an hour ago an owl delivered a letter and a parcel. Unfortunately the object in the package was a portkey that took Remus and Janus to an unknown location."

If Kingsley was surprised, then he did not show. He merely nodded and waited for Dumbledore to continue.

"I have the letter here, but I doubt that it will be of any use in finding out who sent it or where those persons are. But while I was at the Lupins', I got a signal from Fawkes and when I returned I found this message from Severus."

Dumbledore handed the two scrolls of parchment – the letter that was sent to Remus and the one he had found on his desk – to Kingsley and waited for his reaction. Richard meanwhile tried to think from where he knew the name Severus – if he had understood it right, then this Severus was Dumbledore's associate who had left the letter. He was sure that he had heard it before, but for the life of him could not focus properly at the moment. There would be a time for thinking about that later.

Kingsley read the letters carefully, taking his time with the note that had been left for Dumbledore in his office. He handed the parchments back after a while.  
"You think those are connected?"

Dumbledore nodded.  
"It's too much of a coincidence not to be. I'm fairly sure that wherever Severus was called to is the same place Remus and Janus have been transported to."  
"But they were careful enough not to tell him beforehand, and now you try to track him down." Kingsley gestured towards the map and the wand which were still lying motionless on the desk. Dumbledore nodded.

"Yes, but from what it looks like Severus probably apparated somewhere and then took a portkey, so it might take some more time until the tracking spell finds him again."

Kingsley got up from the chair he had sunk into and walked over towards the window, staring out for a moment. He tapped his right foot on the floor, scratched his bald head and turned back to Dumbledore.

"You don't know anything about the number of Death Eaters we're talking about here, do you?"

Richard's head snapped up, alarmed, but Dumbledore only shrugged slightly.  
"Not after what happened in Azkaban, no I don't."

Kingsley thought again.

"I can raise my entire unit, but that's only about ten men, and that already implies the unlikely chance that I can reach and alert those who are not on duty tonight as quickly as we might need them. I'd have to stir up the department a bit to raise more capacities, but that would mean involving more people. I could try to keep Fudge out of it considering how he stands to all this, but I can't guarantee that it'll be successful."

Dumbledore sighed, then nodded. "It has to be done, I'm afraid. I'll let you know as soon as the tracking charm reveals something. There is one more thing, though."

Kingsley nodded at the older wizard. "Go ahead, then."

"It might be helpful to alert Janus Lupin's partner, Lucas Spalding. You know that I don't have any close connections to the Department of Mysteries, I was wondering whether you could help me out there."

Kingsley frowned. "Why not call them up from here?"

"You know what the Department is like, Kingsley. Either they won't even connect me to him at all, and even if they do they will immediately know that something out of the ordinary is going on. And at the moment I'm not so sure that it would not cause even more harm if the Department got wind of what happened to Remus and Janus and involved themselves." He looked very seriously at Shacklebolt. "I am worried that whatever is currently happening to Harry, Remus and Janus is something of very great importance, and I would rather have people I trust take care of finding them."

"All right, I'll try. You sure Spalding is at the Department?"

Dumbledore shrugged slightly. "We tried to reach him at his house earlier, but nobody responded to our calls. My guess would be that with the momentary situation as it is, he surely is at work."

Kingsley nodded again and got up from his seat. "As good as done already. Doge's secretary has a sister-in-law in the department archive who rather...fancies me, so to say. I'll have her send Spalding out to me without giving cause for suspicion. I'll let you know as soon as I talked to him."

"Thank you, Kingsley."

Kingsley only waved Dumbledore's thanks off.

"Nothing to thank me for. We'll talk later, then. Mr. and Mrs. Lupin." With another nod into the direction of Richard and Serena, Kingsley stepped back towards the fireplace and flooed away. Richard turned a worried glance on Dumbledore.

"You think they're in real danger, don't you?"

Serena looked up at them, the scared look on her face growing even more pronounced. Dumbledore leaned against the desk and nodded.  
"Yes, I do. You know what happened in Azkaban that made it possible for Sirius Black to escape?"

Richard shook his head. "Not really. I only know that he escaped, not how. Remus had that seizure before Janus had the time to tell anything more, and afterwards he didn't make any move to tell more about it. By now I know not to ask him anything related to his work if he doesn't tell it on his own."

Dumbledore threw another glance at the map on his desk and only when he saw that still nothing had changed in the position of the wand did he turn towards Richard and Serena again.

"I wouldn't have thought that he told you. I myself had quite a struggle to find out a bit more about it, though for a moment I wished I had not." His blue eyes darted from Richard to Serena and back again, silently telling them that whatever they would get to know now was not meant to leave this office.

"Azkaban was raided, presumably by those Death Eaters who were able to escape imprisonment after the war. Not all the Death Eaters who were imprisoned in Azkaban escaped that night, but the number of the ones who did still is large enough to worry about. And if my assumptions are right, then those Death Eaters are assembling somewhere right now."

Richard shook his head.

"But what does that have to do with Harry, Janus and Remus?"

"Naturally, the Death Eaters would have a great interest in Harry as he was the one who brought their master down six years ago. But they sent the portkey after Harry was abducted, so there must be another interest involved. I'm afraid I know just as little as you do as to why Remus and Janus were taken, we don't even know if the portkey was designed for them both or only for one of them."

"But why do you think that their abduction has something to do with that associate of yours?"

Dumbledore sighed and looked at Richard for a moment, then turned his eyes on Serena. After a long while he spoke again.

"As I said to Kingsley, it would be too much of a coincidence if those two events were not connected."

That was Dumbledore's answer for the moment and Richard could tell that he was not willing to reveal anything more to him. Just why the headmaster was making such a secret about who this Severus was and where he had been called Richard could not tell, but he could feel his little patience fading. If there was one thing he could not stand then it was this uncertainty, he simply needed to know what was happening to his sons and his grandson, three people who meant more to Richard than his own life.

Richard sank back into his chair with a loud sigh. As he lifted his hands to wipe some strands of hair from his face he realized that they were shaking badly. The way things were turning, chances that he would see his sons and grandson alive again were not getting better. On the contrary. Richard struggled hard to fight down the urge to scream out loud. Harry was just a small child, he had not harmed anybody. And Janus and Remus...

Richard forced himself not to think about it and willed down the tears that had started to mist over his eyes. He would face those thoughts when there was no hope left to see his sons alive again, not a moment earlier. Right now there was still hope left, Janus was an experienced man when it came to such situations, surely he would do anything in his power to bring Remus, himself and if they were lucky even Harry out of there and back home.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Janus couldn't discern whether it was a cry of pain or one of rage which his brother was uttering. It sounded like something strangely in between, a lot more angry than earlier when Remus had discovered Harry, but still too pained to be purely angry. Janus didn't really understand his brother's reaction, he had no idea why there were silent tears running down Remus' cheeks, though he doubted that his brother was even aware that he was crying. Remus' eyes were focussed on the man who had stepped forward, the small pale figure who was still trembling slightly due to all the attention that was suddenly focussed on him. Janus followed Remus' gaze, he too stared at the man and tried to find out who he was and why he was able to provoke that kind of reaction from Remus.

There was not very much illumination in the room and the man was too far away for Janus to see everything clearly, and most of the man's figure was hidden beneath his wide and shapeless black robes anyway. But Janus could see that the man was small and a bit overweight – Janus would have called it podgy had the man been any younger. His hair was very thin, surely soon he'd be bald, and strangely colourless. It could have been a mousy brown or an ashen-blond, Janus was completely unable to say. His eyes were extremely bright and from this distance seemed pale as they quickly darted around the room as if he was searching for a way out. The man's appearance reminded Janus strangely of a small rodent and he could not help but shudder, as strange as it sounded for an experienced fighter like Janus to shudder at the sight of an obviously very afraid small man who didn't seem to pose any real threat.

Somewhere he had seen the man before, but for the life of him Janus could not remember where.

Remus had not once turned his eyes away from the man since Malfoy had beckoned him forward, though the man stubbornly refused to look into Remus' direction.

Janus was shocked to find that his brother was sobbing openly now, tears still running down his face and his breaths coming in short, heaving gasps. With every breath he took Remus moved back and forth, as if he wasn't getting enough air, and the little colour which had remained on his face had completely faded by now. Janus ran a short mental list of what his brother had been through in the past days and had not even finished that list when he came to the conclusion that Remus was well beyond the limit of what he could take. No matter who that man was and why Remus reacted to him like he did, this was too much for him.

Janus turned slightly to get his brother's attention as his gaze strayed over to where Black was still lying against the other wall and he started slightly. Black was staring at the small man just like Remus did, though he was not crying. But though the overwhelming attribute of his gaze was an extreme blankness, Janus thought that he discovered a glint of recognition there. Did that mean that Black also knew the small, balding man? What did that mean?

Janus turned towards his brother and raised his bound wrists to place them on Remus' shoulder – ignoring the slight pain in his joints as he overstretched his bound wrists and elbows uncomfortably – and gently drew his attention. Their guard kept his wand trained on them but didn't say anything.

"Remus?"

It took a moment until Remus finally broke his stare and turned his amber eyes on his brother.

"Yes?" His voice sounded strangely detached and distant, as if his mind was not completely in the here and now.

"Who is this?"

Remus' eyes flickered back to the small man for a short moment before Janus squeezed his shoulder and drew his attention back again.

"Remus, who is this?"

Remus' breathing was still harsh and laboured and his voice broke slightly as he spoke, nevertheless there was much anger in his voice as he replied.

"Wormtail."

"Who?" Janus was not sure if he had heard right, that name meant absolutely nothing to him.

"Peter Pettigrew."

That name, on the other hand, meant quite a lot to Janus.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Up and down; up and down; up and down.

Richard was pacing Dumbledore's office, just as he had done for the past twenty minutes, constantly walking up and down the room while he was nervously chewing his right thumbnail. His left hand was holding his right elbow against his chest as if to hug himself. Twenty minutes since Kingsley Shacklebolt had left Dumbledore's office and still they were not a step closer to finding his sons. Not a fucking step.

And the office seemed to be getting smaller with every time he paced it up and down.

Serena was still sitting on the sofa, staring off into space and Dumbledore was still watching the map from behind his desk. Taking one deep breath, Richard crossed the room once more and stepped beside the older wizard. Until now, he had remained silent, mostly for Serena's sake, but now he simply could not keep his fears at bay any longer. He desperately needed some answers, and though he was more scared than he remembered ever being he could no longer stand this uncertainty. And if Dumbledore's explanation would reveal something bad, then there was no use in sparing Serena from it now, she'd have to deal with it sooner or later anyway.

Dumbledore looked up as Richard approached, his clear blue eyes behind the half-moon glasses not sparkling like they usually did, but looking sadly at Richard.

"Anything new?"

Richard could already see that the broken wand on the map had not moved yet, but still he had needed to ask. Dumbledore shook his head. "Still nothing. If Severus has travelled too long by portkey or if he had to change the means of transportation too often then it will take even longer still until we will know where he went to."

"And you are convinced that Janus and Remus don't have that time."

Dumbledore nodded gravely. Richard had not yet read the letter that had been left by this Severus, the letter which had convinced the Hogwarts headmaster that Janus and Remus were trapped and in mortal danger. He guessed that Dumbledore had his reasons not to show him the letter, and he didn't really need to read it. He trusted Dumbledore enough so that he didn't need to see it with his own eyes. But he wanted, no he _needed_, an explanation.

"Albus, what exactly are you so worried about?"

Dumbledore looked somewhat surprised at that question but Richard quickly shook his head.

"Of course I can imagine that you're worried. So am I, believe me. I'm worried sick about the three of them, but there's something else I get the feeling you're not telling me. What did this Severus write in his message that makes you so sure that Janus and Remus are running out of time?"

With a sigh Dumbledore sank into his chair and looked for all the world like somebody who was going through a hard struggle with himself.

"Albus, it's my _sons_ we're talking about. The two single most important people in my life. I need to know what might be happening to them."

Dumbledore didn't answer immediately, and Richard realized that he was desperate enough to beg.

"Albus", he pleaded, "if I already accept that I could lose both my sons tonight, the least you can do is tell me what is going on. I have a right to know."

Dumbledore nodded with a weary sigh. "I know." He looked over to where Serena was sitting on the sofa, her eyes now turned on them instead of at the wall. Then the older wizard nodded and started to speak.

"You are right of course. But you have to understand that there is an important reason why I was hesitant to tell you anything further, the safety of others depends on it."

"All I care about at the moment is what is happening to Janus and Remus. And Harry. Nothing else is important to me now and whatever you tell me now will not leave this room. But I _need_ to know."

Dumbledore's eyes darted over to where Serena was sitting and she nodded resolutely as well. It seemed as if the shock about what had happened to her husband was slowly subsiding, and as her thoughts became more focussed again she too wanted to know what was happening to Janus.

Dumbledore let his eyes wander over the portraits on the walls for a moment, the nodded and stepped behind his desk, thinking for a moment as if searching for the right words which would not reveal too much.

"All right, and as we will surely have to wait for some moments longer there is still the time. You have to know that Severus is an old acquaintance of mine, somebody I have known for a very long time and one of the few people who have my utmost trust. He is also a Death Eater."

Richard and Serena both looked startled at this revelation but Dumbledore continued as if he had not realized it.

"He has always been a very reliable associate and his connections have provided the resistance with very important information during the war. He left me the letter and sent out Fawkes to find me because tonight he has been called to a gathering for the first time ever since the war ended. Richard, I am talking about a Death Eater meeting Severus was called to, and even though he was not told about the location beforehand he was very sure about the reasons. Many Death Eaters have escaped Azkaban the night Sirius Black did, and Severus is convinced that they will attempt to bring Voldemort back."

Serena gasped at the mention of the Dark Lord's name – though Janus used it as well there were few occasions when the Dark Lord's name was mentioned at their home. And Serena had been raised like most other witches and wizards of her generation in fear of Voldemort's name. Richard too looked shaken, but he only took a moment before he regained his speech.

"And you think that this is why they took Harry?"

Dumbledore nodded. "When the curse that was meant to kill Harry failed and Voldemort fell – it made Harry special. He does not know it yet, and I had hoped he would not have to deal with it for a long time to come, but now it seems that it was a foolish hope. I don't think that what remained of Voldemort's forces know exactly what they are dealing with, but if they manage to resurrect their master by using Harry, then Voldemort will become even more powerful than he was before. And once Voldemort is able to get hold of a physical body again, I'm afraid that he won't have the mercy to spare Harry's life."

Richard swallowed hard.

"But why would somebody send a portkey to bring Janus and Remus there? Why take the risk that they might save Harry if that might destroy their plans?"

Dumbledore shook his head with another weary sigh. "I don't have an answer for that, Richard. But from all I know about Voldemort's followers, they would not take the risk of somebody rescuing Harry and thus ruining their plan. What they have done to take their people out of Azkaban and to get hold of Harry has taken too much planning, the people who are in charge are not stupid enough to let that much work be ruined."

Richard nodded defeatedly, still too many questions in his head for him to feel comfortable. He wanted to resume his pacing, wanted to play all he knew and all the questions he had around in his head again while he walked up and down, but at that moment the fireplace in the corner roared to life again and for the second time that day Kingsley Shacklebolt stepped through. Dumbledore went forward to greet him again, and Richard noticed that Shacklebolt's eyes immediately darted over towards the map on the desk to see if something had changed.

"Kingsley, what is it?"

"You owe me big time for this, Dumbledore. I had to promise Sheila – she's the sister-in-law of Doge's secretary – to take her out for a date before she agreed to search Spalding out for me. And there's something fishy going on, Dumbledore."

"Why's that?"

"The Department is one big uproar from what it looks like at the moment. Seems that they already know about Lupin vanishing, though they don't know where he is. But strangely enough, Spalding has not shown up at work today either, or if he did then nobody saw him. But he definitely is not in the Department at the moment. Sheila said not so long ago Ryder was shouting around in the corridor for somebody to find Spalding and bring him to his office, and he must have sounded really pissed. You sure Spalding is not at home?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, we are."

"Then he's missing."

"Strange coincidence, don't you think, Kingsley?"

Shacklebolt shrugged. "No, actually I don't. But you're asking me too much if you want to know what is going on. But I need to get back to the Ministry now, I still need to try and alert three of my men. I set up Doge to alert his own unit already, then I'll see what else I can do to raise some more men."

"Thank you, Kingsley. I'll let you know as soon as we have anything..." Dumbledore fell silent and four pairs of eyes immediately turned towards the desk behind the old Hogwarts Headmaster.

The wand on the map had begun to move.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Remus felt as if somebody had forcefully pulled his heart out of his chest and was now stamping it into the floor.

Harry had been kidnapped. They were trapped here. Harry was dead. Sirius had trapped them here, surrounded by Death Eaters. Janus had thought he was responsible for all this. Sirius had killed Harry.

And Peter was still alive.

But Sirius had killed Peter, had killed him just like he had killed all those muggles – just like he had killed Harry – so why was Peter here now, very obviously alive? Remus' brain seemed to have stopped working because he simply could not come up with an answer that left none of his questions open. Too much had happened during the past hours, his mind was overloaded with all that new information.

And now Peter was standing there, staring around in that nervous manner he had already had during their first years at school. Was standing maybe three feet next to where Harry's body lay and that alone made the hairs on Remus' neck stand up. For some strange reason he didn't want Peter to stand near his godson. He wanted nobody near Harry now, he wanted to get out of those blasted ropes and get over to where Harry was lying, he wanted to take the small body into his arms no matter how pale, dirty and cold he probably was by now. Remus only wanted to bury his face in the unruly black hair, breathe in its sweet and clean scent that was so uniquely Harry, to hold Harry's body and to rock him back and forth and hum a lullaby, just like he had always done when Harry had a nightmare. Remus desperately wanted to hold Harry in his arms and to pretend that he wasn't really dead for as long as reality had not caught up with him.

But he could not even get out of his bonds, and there Peter still stood so close to his godson, too close to Harry's body for Remus' liking. Much too close.

After what seemed like an eternity during which nothing had moved, suddenly the tall man who had beckoned Peter forward spoke again. Remus wouldn't have recognized him as Malfoy on his own, he had never had any direct contact with the man, though he had fought in the Order of the Phoenix during the war. Malfoy had always been one of the Order's main targets, one of the Death Eaters they had tried to uncover, but though he knew what Malfoy looked like Remus could not recognize him by his voice alone. But Remus was fairly sure that this was the Death Eater Janus had earlier identified as Malfoy. The one who had kicked him, though Remus didn't want to pursue this line of thought any longer at the moment.

Remus' eyes widened as suddenly Malfoy dropped to his knees in front of Peter and bent his head.

"Master", he breathed out, barely audible. Had it not been for his sensitive hearing Remus might not have heard it immediately. "Your most faithful servants are here to pay our respects, here at the hour of your return."

Remus' throat closed up and his heart seemed to stop beating, completely caught by the strange display in front of him. What in Merlin's name was going on here?

One by one the remaining Death Eaters also sank to their knees, bowing their heads until only Peter was still left standing in their middle. The only other person in the room who was still standing up was the guard who was keeping an eye on them, but he too had lowered his head slightly to pay his respects.

Something seemed to happen to Peter at that moment, something Remus had never seen happen with Peter ever before. His posture straightened, stretched with a confidence Peter had never possessed. Remus had known Peter for more than ten years, and he had never seen him even remotely confident. Peter had always been the one to stand slightly in the background behind his friends and that had been the position he liked. Not in the spotlight like James or Sirius, Peter had never felt at home when somebody else's attention had been focussed on him. Never.

But now he seemed as if he had only waited for this to happen, for the other Death Eaters to fall to their knees in front of him, as if towering over them had been the position he had only waited to take for the entire evening. Peter stretched out his hands to his sides, a gesture that reminded Remus of a priest who was giving the blessing to his congregation.

Then Peter opened his eyes and Remus could not suppress another small shocked cry. Next to him, he heard Janus gasp, but neither Remus nor Janus were able to take their eyes off the strange display in front of them.

Peter's face, the always so chubby and cherubic round face, appeared to be more defined, sharper and a lot more threatening than Remus had ever seen it. And from below the strands of his thin, mousy-coloured hair a pair of red, slit eyes were staring down at the kneeling Death Eaters. A shiver ran down Remus' spine and he felt his hands starting to tremble despite his tight bonds. Only moments ago Remus had been convinced that his old friend was standing there, unchanged over the years during which he had been supposed dead, but now he was sure that something more serious was going on here. This was not Peter anymore, this was something else. This was not Peter – not wholly – this was something far darker, far more evil than Peter could have ever become. It took away Remus' breath simply to look at it and his heart was beating wildly in this throat. For a short moment, Remus managed to tear his eyes away from the shocking display in front of him and look over towards his brother. Remus was still angry at what his brother had done, at how little he had trusted him, but in his momentary confusion he needed the reassurance that at least Janus was able to make sense of all this. After all, Janus was the one who was trained for situations like this one, he was his older brother for Merlin's sake! If anything, that should be reason enough for him to have a reasonable explanation for what was going on here, shouldn't it?

But Janus didn't even look at him, he had his gaze fixed on Peter as well, staring wide-eyed at him just like Remus had done. There was no reassurance he could give Remus, that much was clear from the way his older brother was staring ahead in pure shock. Janus seemingly didn't know what was going on either, had no explanation for what was happening to Remus' former friend. And that thought only served to increase Remus' fears even further.

Movement from where Peter was standing drew Remus' attention and he turned his head back again. Peter looked from the left to the right, his eyes also sweeping over the bound captives near the far off wall. For a moment they rested on Remus, causing a huge shiver to run through his body and his blood to feel suddenly cold. Just as the gaze started to feel unbearable Peter looked over to where Sirius was lying, then turned his attention back at his Death Eaters.

"My faithful servants", he began and his voice was cold and high-pitched, strangely body-less. Not Peter's voice. What was going on here?

Peter let his red-slit eyes roam around the room once more, then made two steps to his right and in  one smooth movement drew his wand. As he pulled it out Remus' first thought was that this wasn't Peter's wand. The wand Peter had used at school had been shorter, maybe only 9½ inches long, and it had been of a similarly plain mouse-brown as his hair had been, but the smooth piece of wood in his hands now was far longer and had a dark-brown colour which gleamed reddish in the light of the torches.

But then Peter turned the wand on Harry and Remus stopped contemplating what was happening.

"No", he breathed out and despite the way his arms and ankles were bound Remus managed to get to his knees. He was still completely helpless and immobile, but nevertheless their guard turned his attention towards Remus.

"No", Remus whispered again, tears running down his cheeks, as Peter pointed his wand straight at Harry's chest.

"_Enervate_!"

Remus was taken aback, but before he could wonder about the choice of spell his attention was drawn by something far more important.

Harry began to move.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Dumbledore reacted with a speed one would not have expected from a man of his age, but still with all his quick reflexes he could not beat Richard who stood beside the desk so quickly that nobody really saw him move. His heart was beating so loud and fast that the others in the room surely had to hear it as well. His chest clenched painfully and he bit his lip hard.

_Please don't let them be dead. Please let my sons be alive._

The broken wand moved southwards on the map until it came to rest somewhere in the middle of Essex. Dumbledore quickly waved his wand over the map and changed it from a map showing all of Great Britain to one that showed Essex in detail. Again the wand started to move across the map, and again Dumbledore enlarged the area the map showed. This procedure was repeated until the map was detailed enough to show exactly where this Severus was being.

Richard stopped biting his lip as the coppery taste of blood flowed over his tongue. Whatever he had expected, it surely had not been this. The broken wand seemed to rest in the middle of nowhere, next to a small town with a name Richard did not recognize. Little Hangleton. No, he had never heard of it before.

Slowly, Richard lifted his head and looked first at Shacklebolt, then at Dumbledore. Something seemed to pass between the two men.

"That what I think it is, Dumbledore?"  
The Hogwarts headmaster nodded. "The Riddle House", he said lowly. "Of all the places they chose the Riddle House. We need to hurry."

Kingsley immediately stepped over towards the fireplace, but before he could floo away Dumbledore's voice stopped him.

"Kingsley?" the tall dark wizard turned around and lifted an eyebrow.

"We're going to need far more than merely your men and Doge's. Send every man you can get down there, no matter if the men are supposed to be under your command or not. No matter if Cornelius finds out or not. And make it fast."

Shacklebolt nodded and stepped into the fireplace, a moment later he was gone. Dumbledore turned his eyes on Richard then.  
"The Riddle House?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Tom Riddle was Voldemort's real name. If those Death Eaters are really intending to bring him back to life, there is the most likely place for them to succeed. I had not expected them to try something like this early. I need to hurry. If they really succeed...it might be better if I was there."

Richard gripped his wand tightly and stepped beside him.  
"I'm going with you."

Dumbledore opened his mouth to protest, but Richard shook his head. "I'm sure we don't have time for such a discussion."

Dumbledore looked at him for a moment, then he nodded reluctantly and grabbed a paperweight form the desk.

"We'll portkey to the Ministry, from there we'll see."

He placed the paperweight on his palm and stretched it out to Richard. As Richard put his hand on the smooth stone, Dumbledore turned his gaze towards Serena who until then had stood silently next to his desk.

"Mrs. Lupin, could you please go down into the infirmary and tell Madam Pomfrey what has happened? She'd better prepare the infirmary for our arrival, maybe her skills will be needed tonight. Maybe yours as well."  
Serena nodded silently, glad that there was at least something she could do during the nerve-wracking wait for news on her husband. As she walked towards the door, Dumbledore tapped the tip of his wand against the paperweight.

"_Portus_!"

There was a soft blue glow from the paperweight, and after a second's wait Dumbledore and Richard vanished, Richard with the sickened feeling in his stomach which only a father can have who doesn't know if he'll ever see his children again.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

With wide eyes and bated breath Remus watched how Peter pointed his wand at Harry, said the revival spell and lowered his wand again.

What in Merlin's name...?

Then Harry moved and Remus thought that his heart would burst with all the conflicting emotions that were racing through it. If Harry moved, then Harry was alive, wasn't he? He had to be, there simply was no other explanation.  
His pup was alive and now he was all alone surrounded by a horde of Death Eaters. And next to him Peter was standing with whom something was going on which Remus didn't want to see his child involved in. Remus didn't care that he could hardly move in his current situation, he didn't care that he was hardly able to move at all. Harry was alive and that meant he had to get to his side. He didn't care if he had to crawl to get there.

Janus jerked forward as he saw what his brother was about to do, he tried to hold him back and pull him out of harm's way at the same moment, but Remus was already out of reach.

Their guard had his wand out and pointed at Remus within the fraction of a moment.

"_Petrificus_ _totalis_!"

Remus sank to the ground right where he was, the Full Body bind for the second time that evening making him completely unable to move. His eyes were the only part of his body which was not affected by the curse, and they remained fixed on what was happening with his godson.

Harry slowly sad up, his incredible green eyes wide open and darting around the room in fear. With mounting concern Remus saw how the child trembled and how he cradled his left arm against his body as if it was hurt. Then his eyes fell on Remus and something flickered across his face.

"Remus!"

Harry scrambled to his feet and started towards his godfather, but the Lucius Malfoy who still stood next to him stretched out his hand to stop him. He grabbed Harry by his already injured arm and yanked him back forcefully. Something snapped as Harry's arm was bent at an angle it was never meant to be bent and Harry screamed in pain. Remus helplessly writhed against the curse that held him in place as Malfoy pushed Harry back onto the floor and towered above him, hand lifted as if he was ready to strike him.

Harry cradled his arm against his chest again, tears streaming down his face and leaving their marks in the dirt that clung to his cheeks, pulled up his knees and tired to cover away from the tall Death Eater.

"No, please. Leave me alone, please no. Please, Remus! Help me, Remus!"

"Leave him alone!" Remus forcefully struggled against both bonds and curse that held him in place at the sound of his godson's voice creaming for him. Malfoy turned his head, looked at Remus, then turned to face him.

"Ah, Lupin. Obviously it takes another kind of curse to keep you in your place, doesn't it?"

Remus looked down and realized that he had somehow fought his way out of the Full Body Bind and was now kneeling in his previous position again. With a quick and seemingly often-practiced movement Malfoy brought his wand level with Remus' chest.

"_Crucio_!"

White-hot tongues of searing pain shot through Remus' veins, a worse agony than any of his monthly transformations could ever be, but with the last bit of strength and self-control he had Remus bit on his tongue and forced himself not to cry out loud. Harry should not hear him scream in pain, the child was already scared enough as it was. If he succeeded Remus could not tell, but he tried as hard as he could, biting his tongue and cheeks until blood filled his mouth.

It seemed like an endless stretch of time until the curse was lifted, though in fact it had probably lasted shorter than earlier with Lucas. Panting, Remus lay on the cold and dirty stone floor. Malfoy was still standing in the same position, and Harry was still sitting curled up in a tight ball, staring at his godfather from wide green eyes. Remus swallowed and tasted blood, but still he tried to smile encouragingly at Harry.

He still could not quite grasp what had really happened to his child, but as long as Harry was alive he would do anything to bring him out of there alive. Malfoy lifted his wand again, but one shake of 'Peter's' head stopped him.

"Save it for later, Lucius. Now we have something more important to do. You can enjoy some pleasure time with Spalding and the Lupins once we're finished here."

Malfoy nodded and stepped beside the cauldron without paying any more attention to Remus.  
'Peter' stood on the other side and his red eyes watched impassively as Malfoy lightened a fire underneath the cauldron. The other Death Eaters re-formed the circle around them, but still the gap remained open for Janus, Lucas and Remus to see.

After a moment had passed, Peter suddenly made a step forward and climbed into the huge cauldron, shedding his robe as soon as he had sunk down into the liquid inside. Malfoy took the offered piece of cloth, folded it and placed it on the floor, then he lifted his hands announcing that he was about to speak.

"The moment we've all anticipated for more than five years has come at last! Tonight we shall bring our master back to his power, and that happened he will be even stronger than before. The new will show the wizarding world what power we possess. Not long, and the wizarding world will be at our master's feet!"

The Death Eaters cheered again and Remus felt something knot in his stomach. It could have been an after-effect of the curse, but he was fairly convinced that this sickening feeling came from his fear of what was about to happen next. It suddenly all made sense, in all its brutal clarity it hit him. This was not Peter, that thought had been right, but what really possessed Peter Remus would have done better without knowing. The only explanation for what was going on here was that something had taken hold of Peter's body. Something – or someone – who didn't have a body of their own anymore. And someone who was called 'Master' by a bunch of Death Eaters, someone whom Lucius Malfoy seemingly went any lengths to bring back. Remus swallowed hard, not daring to really think it. Voldemort. It had to be Voldemort. And if the Death Eaters managed to pull this through...

Malfoy turned towards the double-winged door at the other side of the room and raised his arms again, his wand pointing at the old wooden constructions.

"Bone of the father, unknowingly given, you will renew your son!"

Malfoy twirled his wand and pointed it at the door. For a long moment nothing happened, and Remus already allowed himself the faint hope that this would be the end of it, that something unforeseen had happened. Slowly, he tried to rise to his knees again, but at that moment the doors flew open with a loud bang.

A small whirlwind blew into the room, spinning above all their heads twice before Malfoy directed it towards the cauldron with a wave of his wand. The whirlwind stopped just above where 'Peter' had vanished and a bit of dirty-greyish-brownish dust fell into the cauldron. A loud hiss sounded through the air, small sparks shot from out of the cauldron and the soft glow that emanated from the liquid turned into a vivid, clear blue.

Malfoy then turned towards the other assembled Death Eaters, his eyes sweeping over them as if he was searching for something. At a nod of his head, a Death Eater stepped forward and beside Malfoy. Malfoy pulled a knife out of the folds of his robes and gestured the man to roll up the sleeve of his robe. There was a slight quiver and shaking as he did so, but the Death Eater seemed to forcibly restrain himself and the shaking subsided as he stretched his arm out over the cauldron. Malfoy placed the dagger into the man's right hand and stepped back a slight bit.

"Flesh of the servant, willingly given, you will revive your master!"

The Death Eater hesitated only for one moment before he held the knife against the middle-finger of his left hand and exerted pressure. Remus looked over at Harry, and with quite some relief noticed that the child had his eyes closed tightly and thus didn't have to see how the man cut off his own finger. Yet the small scream the Death Eater uttered and his panting breaths which were coming out in half-sobs were enough indication that something not suited for a seven-year old had just taken place here. And surely Harry had heard it.

Behind Remus, Janus was watching the same display with an equally sickened feeling in his stomach, but he forcibly swallowed down the bile that rose in his throat. The potion was now gleaming a bright red, bathing the entire chamber in an eerie glow.

From where he was sitting, Janus saw how his brother was shaking, saw how Harry was trying to shut out what was happening around him. And Janus guessed that it was not going to get better from here.

"Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken, you will resurrect your foe!"

Malfoy stepped closer to where Harry sat, the knife back in his hand and held in a dead-grip. Janus' throat constricted as he realized just what was happening here. If they managed to complete the rite, then Voldemort would return to power. And they would all be dead. And from what it looked at the moment, completion of the rite was not far away anymore.

And Janus knew that it was not in his hands, that he could do absolutely nothing to influence things anymore. Breathlessly Janus watched how Malfoy approached Harry with the knife. The child cradled his injured arm more closely to his body, eyes wide in fear and fixed on the knife-blade in the tall wizard's hand. Malfoy grabbed Harry's uninjured arm and pulled him to his feet, then he tried to drag him over to the cauldron. Harry fought back with the little strength he had, but to no avail. Tears were running down Harry's dirty face and as Janus closed his eyes he felt something wet and hot run across his own cheek. He knew what was about to come, and there was nothing he could do to save Harry. Probably they'd all be dead by the end of the night. They'd be dead and Voldemort would be back.

Harry still struggled against Malfoy's hold, but now the Death Eater had him pulled to the cauldron. He held Harry's head by the hair and with the other hand he pressed the tip of the knife against Harry's arm.

"Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken", he repeated. Harry squirmed, Remus screamed helplessly, and Janus felt as if somebody had knocked him forcefully in the stomach.

And then everything happened very quickly.


	18. Fragility

**Fragility**

The portkey deposited Dumbledore and Richard not in the Ministry Atrium as Richard had expected, but in a large room somewhere in what Richard supposed was the Auror Department of the DMLE. About sixty, maybe seventy people were crowding the room, all listening with rapt attention to what somebody at the far end of the room explained. Obviously, those were the Aurors' last preparations before they would set out to their destination.

Only a couple of seconds after the portkey had brought them into this room, Kingsley Shacklebolt came walking towards them, a haste and urgency in his stride which made the bad feeling in Richard's stomach only worse. Aurors were not meant to be hurried and in haste, they were supposed to be sure of themselves and of their upcoming success in the mission, weren't they?

"Ah, Dumbledore. Just in time, we're about to set off towards the Riddle House. And about in time because from what I gathered Minister Fudge is on his way here, demanding an explanation as to why nearly half of the Auror capacities are being sent out by me without previously informing him of it."

"I will take care of all of Cornelius' questions should he arrive before the departure, Kingsley. You only take care that your men get to the Riddle House as soon as possible, I don't think we have all that much time left."

"What about me?", Richard asked.

Dumbledore and Shacklebolt turned their eyes on him, Shacklebolt with an eyebrow raised in astonishment.

"You? Mr. Lupin, with all due respect, but this is an Auror mission. No offence meant, but I never take civilians on any missions, no matter their reasons. You'd only stand in the way, probably even endanger the mission."

Richard shook his head forcefully, not accepting this as an answer. There was absolutely no way he would stay behind and wait. 

"Mr. Shacklebolt, I am aware of that. I'm also aware that we don't have time for a lengthy discussion about it. But I will not stay behind when it's my sons' and my grandson's lives that are at stake. I don't ask to be involved in your mission, I am definitely not eager to get into any fighting, but I want to be there for my family as soon as I can. And 'no' is not an answer I will accept."

Shacklebolt looked completely undecided and turned his eyes on Dumbledore as if in search for help. It was obvious that he was angry that Richard brought up the topic of him coming along right now, straight before their departure. The Hogwarts headmaster only shrugged.

"It's not my place to decide, Kingsley. It's your Aurors and your mission, you are in command here."

Before Shacklebolt answered, Richard interrupted him again. It was painfully obvious from the expression on his face what his answer would be, and Richard had no intention to stay behind.

"I will apparate there on my own if you don't take me with you."

"Are you trying to blackmail me, Lupin?"

Richard noticed that he had suddenly turned from 'Mr. Lupin' to 'Lupin', but he did not comment on it. This was not about starting a friendship with Shacklebolt, he didn't even want or need to gain the man's respect or anything, he only needed his agreement that he could get to where his sons were. So he forced himself to stay calm.

"No, I'm just telling you what I will do. I need to be with my family now, that's all I ask of you. Take me along so that I can see what has happened to my family."

Shacklebolt turned his eyes to the ceiling for a short moment, but then he finally nodded. In one point Richard had been right, they didn't have time for discussions.

"All right, but under my conditions. You'll take the portkey with Williams and his group over there, they are the rearguard. You will stay out of the building until it's officially declared safe, though. I don't want to see you in there before that, and if you as much as set a foot across the threshold before I personally allow you to, we'll get into trouble, understood?"

Richard nodded and immediately went over to the group of Aurors Shacklebolt had indicated and took hold of their portkey. Shacklebolt turned towards Dumbledore once more.

"He'll keep to that?"

Dumbledore nodded. "I'm sure he will. But now we should leave, before Cornelius delays us any further once he arrives."

Kingsley nodded and went over to another group of Aurors to take hold of a portkey himself. His deep voice sounded through the room.

"All right, you have your instructions. Set the portkeys for fifteen seconds, we're off. Good luck!"

The Aurors did as they were told and after a countdown that was sustained with bated breath by all parties involved a huge blur seemed to ripple through the air in the room and the Aurors were gone.

Dumbledore took out his wand to apparate to the Riddle House himself. He had been there before during the first war, that was an advantage. Group apparition to a place which none of the involved knew could end in the squad being strewn too far around the place they wanted to end in; it simply was not accurate enough if the people didn't know exactly where they wanted to apparate to. In normal situations this was not that much of an obstacle, mostly people didn't care if they ended up a few feet closer to the garden fence if they apparated somewhere unknown. But in case of a coordinated Law Enforcement action precision was everything, that was why the DMLE was making use of portkeys in those situations.

Just as Dumbledore was about to raise his wand, the door to the room was flung open and Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge stormed into the room. His face was a deep beet red, eyes blazing angrily.

"Albus, I demand an explanation! Why do you send out Auror squads without my explicit permission? You have no say in the Ministry, especially no command over my Aurors."

Dumbledore turned towards him.  
"Cornelius, unfortunately there was no time to inform you. And neither, I am afraid, is there time for lengthy explanations now. I need to hurry."

"Where to?"  
"To the Riddle House."

If possible, Fudge's face turned an even darker shade of red.

"What?", he roared. "Why in Merlin's name do you come up with something like this now? Nobody has been in the Riddle House for ages, there's nothing there."

"I'm afraid tonight there is. I have reliable information that there is a Death Eater assembly there tonight, attempting to bring Voldemort back to life."

That left Fudge speechless for a moment, a rare occurrence in itself.

"But...but that is not possible! You-Know-Who is dead, has been dead for over five years. He can't be brought back! And there are no Death Eaters anymore who could even attempt something like that. That's ludicrous!"

"No, it is not", Dumbledore replied calmly. "We both know about the Azkaban breakout, we both know that there are Death Eaters on the loose. And if you had listened to anything I ever told you then you would know that Voldemort is not dead, and neither gone for good. But as I said, I don't have time for this. If they succeeded, I think it would be better if I was there. Do not try to undermine this, Cornelius. I'm sure we will send for help if we need reinforcements, but anything else would only disturb what the Auror squads are about to do."

"But...but..."

"In case it all turns out to be a mistake or misunderstanding I'm willing to bear the consequences, but now I don't have any more time to waste. Until later, Cornelius."

And with that, Dumbledore apparated away, leaving a completely befuddled Minister of Magic standing alone in the large chamber.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Janus and Remus watched helplessly how Malfoy grabbed Harry by his good arm, the knife in his other hand, and dragged him over towards the cauldron. Harry started to squirm in his grasp, screaming on top of his lungs. He screamed for help and for it all to stop and for Remus to come and take him home. Malfoy seemed a bit surprised that Harry was struggling back against him despite the tight grip with which he was holding the child's hair. Harry's screams echoed hollowly around the chamber, burning themselves into Remus' and Janus' mind with a frightening intensity. Remus struggled against his bonds in a futile effort to free himself as he heard Harry's screams, but to no avail. Though he was kneeling again, his ankles were still bound tightly and he could not move forward at all. He was frantically moving his wrists against the ropes that bound them in a helpless attempt to free himself from those bonds, but the only effect of it was that blood was staining his wrists and the ropes from where the skin had been torn open.

Janus knew that he needed to do something, that he needed to try whatever was in his power to save his nephew and to attempt and stop this resurrection. He sat up straighter, trying to focus on what he was about to do next. On what was the only thing left for him to attempt.

Janus knew that he was normally powerful enough to perform simple spells without the use of his wand, yet he did not know if that would be enough to change something here. The situation could not be worse for such an attempt, that much could be said. His hands were bound tightly in front of his body, he could not spread them out. And – worst of all – his chest was still aching badly whenever he tried to draw a deep breath, reminding him of his painful impact earlier after the portkey travel. He should be in a good physical condition for an attempt at wandless magic because it always had a physically exhausting effect, but at the moment he had no choice. Janus simply didn't have the chance to wait with this until he was completely sure that he was physically fine. He simply didn't have enough time.

Janus straightened up as much as his bonds would allow him, tried to focus all his energy and still his erratic heartbeat and harsh breathing. He only needed a small distraction, something to turn the Death Eater's attention away from Harry towards him. Maybe Lucas would get the clue and attempt something on his own then.

But just as he straightened up and raised his bound arms, their guard turned his head from where he had been watching Remus' struggle against his bonds, and the man seemed to realize immediately what Janus was attempting to do. In one smooth movement he brought his wand to point at Janus' chest and Janus could literally hear him draw breath to curse him.

As if from a great distance Janus heard Malfoy repeat his incarnation about the forcibly taken blood, he heard Harry scream loudly for Remus, but the sounds were strangely muted by the sound of his blood roaring in his ears.

The wand in the Death Eater's hand twitched slightly and despite all the years of training and experience Janus had had with that kind of situations Janus felt himself close his eyes and try to block out what was about to happen next. He immediately opened them again, however, as a whispered "_Stupefy_" sounded from the left. To his great astonishment he saw their guard sink down to the floor as if somebody had hit him over the head. With a puzzled frown he turned towards Lucas, but his partner was staring at him with an equally puzzled expression. And Lucas was sitting to his right, but the curse had come from Janus' left side. But there were only Death Eaters standing there, where was the sense in what had just happened?

One of the Death Eaters had stepped a bit out of the circle, unnoticed by the other ones whose attention was still wrapt up in Malfoy's attempt to draw Harry's blood. His wand still pointed at his prone colleague, but before Janus could start to try and make sense of that development another flick of the Death Eater's wand sent something sliding from the pocket of the fallen guard's robe towards where Janus was sitting. 

Three pieces of slim, polished wood, all three of them different shades of brown.

While the Death Eater slipped back into the circle of the other robed and masked men, effectively melting into the mass without a trace, Janus lurched forward and grabbed his wand, forcing himself not to contemplate why on earth a Death Eater would help them to get armed again. He pointed his wand at the ropes that bound him.

"Finite Incantatem", he whispered and immediately the thin ropes vanished just as quickly as they had appeared earlier that evening. Quickly he unbound his ankles as well and grimaced painfully as the blood rushed back into his numb limbs. No time for that now, though, he needed to do something against what Malfoy was up to. And for that, he needed to use as much of the moment of surprise as he could. From the corner of his eyes he saw Lucas unbinding Remus and handing him his wand. Thusly assured that the two of them were able to defend themselves in the chaos that would undoubtedly ensue in a short moment, Janus immediately spun into a standing position – silently with years of practice – and pointed his wand straight at Malfoy who was just about to bring the knife down to cut Harry's skin open.

"_Stupefy_!"

Immediately, Malfoy went rigid and sank to the ground, taking Harry down with him. Nothing Janus could do about that now, he needed to get to the child's side as quickly as possible anyway. And he had not dared to use a more harmful spell on the Death Eater, the danger that he might have hit Harry with it had been too great. Hopefully, Harry had not been hurt any further by this fall.

Now Janus needed to act as fast as he could. The danger was not over yet, Janus would only be a bit more relaxed once he got the child as far away from that cauldron and that knife as possible.

The Death Eaters had all watched Malfoy fall down and a stunned moment of silence had followed during which they had tried to grasp what was happening here. Their triumph had only been moments away, they had already waited with bated breaths for their master to emerge from the cauldron, and suddenly things started to get wrong. For some long moments they stared at the cauldron in silent shock, too stunned to do something immediately. Quite a number of them didn't get a chance to think twice about it, because Janus, Lucas and Remus stunned, disarmed and disabled as quickly and fiercely as they could, not giving them a chance to react for as long as possible.

The number of fallen Death Eaters was already pretty high by the time the other ones got around to draw their wands and try to organize themselves to bring their three opponents down. But Janus, Remus and Lucas had already split up and moved to different positions in the room, drawing the Death Eaters out of the tight formation they were forming.

Especially Remus was acting on automatic, fighting back hard and harshly against everybody who stepped in the way. It had been years since he had last duelled, but he simply allowed his instincts to take over in the hope that they still worked. And they seemed to do. After all he had been in the Order during the fist war, he had a huge theoretical and practical knowledge on all kind of magic, especially the Dark Arts. There was hardly a curse the Death Eaters could try to use on him which would really surprise him, and he was able to fight back just as hard and vicious as they tried to attack him. And above all else, he was a werewolf whose pack instinct had kicked in. That might not apply to Lucas, but Merlin help those who dared to cross his own way or threaten Janus or especially Harry right now.

"The boy!", came Voldemort's voice from out of the cauldron. "Take the boy and draw his blood!"

Janus was close to Harry, but he was also busy fighting down two approaching Death Eaters, who had by now gotten far more accustomed to the new situation. From the other side, a Death Eater rushed by and picked up the knife. Harry still lay where Malfoy had dropped him earlier, curled up into a tight ball, sobbing and whimpering lowly. The Death Eater reached out to pick up Harry, but at that moment Remus saw him.

"_Incendio_!"

Immediately, the black robe caught fire and the Death Eater let the knife fall with a start and tried to suffocate the flames with his bare hands, seemingly forgetting that he was carrying a wand for the moment.

"_Voatus_ _rodate_!"

The Death Eater was thrown back against the far of wall, turning and rotating in the air and knocking his head on the stone wall as he impacted. With a small flick of his wrist Remus extinguished the fire and bound the Death Eater up, then he turned his attention away from the man.

With two long strides Remus was by his godson's side and picked him up. Harry was pale and shaking, dirty, dishevelled and scared half to death, he had what appeared to be a broken arm and probably a lot of bumps and bruises, but all that didn't matter right now. Harry was alive, that was what counted at the moment.

Remus gathered him in his arms and retreated against the wall, trying to estimate his situation. Harry was shaking in his arms, still whimpering slightly, and he seemingly had not recognized Remus yet. Or if he had, he was too shocked and scared to do anything except from sobbing lowly into the folds of his robes. He needed to get Harry out of here, needed to get him to the fireplace...

Remus' heart sank as he realized just how hopeless their situation was. The fireplace was on the other side of the room, but Remus saw no chance to get there right now.

They were outnumbered, Janus and Lucas were fighting hopeless fights against a number of opponents at once, and the cauldron was still throning in the middle of all that chaos.

The surprising thought that he didn't see Sirius anywhere flashed through his mind. Strange that he was thinking about his former friend who only half an hour ago had tried to kill him in this situation, but somehow he would have expected that the Death Eaters would free their companion as soon as they saw him lying tied up against the wall. But then again Remus was more than just confused by everything that had happened with Sirius and Peter during the past hour. Remus forced himself to push those thoughts aside until later, now he needed to keep his wits together until he was out of here. Until Harry was safe.

Remus moved back along the wall with Harry in his arms, but he realized that it was hopeless. Four Death Eaters were starting to close in on them and Remus knew that he'd most probably not be able to fight them all down. And even if he could, there would be others to take their place. But Remus was also aware that if they got Harry into their hands, Voldemort would be as good as resurrected. And that was something Remus could not allow on top of it all. Not that he would le those bastards get his godson anyway, not as long as he was able to defend him. They'd have to kill him to lay hands on Harry again, he would make sure of that.

The irony of the situation was that Remus knew the fact that he was holding Harry in his arms was all that separated him from either a fast Killing Curse or a slow torture that would lead to death. In any other situation, the Death Eaters would have already stunned, hurt or killed him, he was aware of that. But Harry was still needed.  
Before anything else could happen, Remus quickly pointed his wand at the cauldron.

"The boy", Voldemort still screamed from out of the cauldron, "bring me Potter's blood!"

"_Aperto_!"

The spell hit and the cauldron began to sway dangerously backwards. It didn't fall over completely as Remus had hoped it would, the cauldron seemed to be very heavy and his spell simply had not been strong enough. Immediately, the Death Eaters turned and hurried towards the cauldron to stop the fall.

"_Aperto_!", Remus repeated desperately, hoping that this time the spell was strong enough to have a lasting effect. It took endless moments, seemingly in slow motion, but then the cauldron dropped and in a splay of potion its contents spilled over the dirty stone floor. Remus didn't look at what exactly was spilling out along with the potion, he didn't want to see what of Peter's remains or of Voldemort's body was poured onto the floor. That night had already given him enough nightmare material, he didn't need to add that image to the list. The moment the cauldron dropped and its contents flowed out a loud screech sounded which seemed to reverberate from the walls of the room and echo on. Remus was breathing harshly and pulled Harry's body even closer against his chest.

That should be enough to stop them, at least for a while. Hopefully for ever.

Remus gathered Harry close, shielded him with his own body and tried to decide on what do to next.

Things were not looking good, Remus knew that. They were still outnumbered, no matter how hard they all fought. Harry was hurt and Voldemort was still only one step away from resurrection. Remus knew a lot about the Dark Arts, but he was not familiar with the rite the Death Eaters had attempted to bring Voldemort back. He simply didn't know enough to be sure that they were safe now.

Not good.

Harry was not unconscious, but he was obviously not really aware of what was going on around him. Maybe that was for the better, Remus didn't even want to think about what the child had already been through without anybody to soothe his fears and give him comfort. Remus secured his hold on the trembling child, then he quickly moved along the wall towards the fireplace. That was the only chance to get Harry out of here and get help for Janus and Lucas. Their only chance. And he needed to do it fast, before the Death Eaters would overcome their momentary distraction. Lucas and Janus seemingly managed to draw many Death Eaters away from Remus and Harry, but there was no guarantee that this would be enough.

From where he was standing against the wall, Remus could not see Lucas, he only saw curses flying back and forth somewhere in the far off corner where he supposed his brother's partner was battling a number of Death Eaters. Still there far too many Death Eaters standing up against them. They had disabled so many, but still they were outnumbered.

Janus was closed in by two Death Eaters now, with another one coming up from the side. Remus opened his mouth to shout a warning to his brother about that one and pointed his wand at him the same moment, intending to take him out before he could sneak upon his brother from behind.

Before Remus could do something, a flash of bright red light exploded in front of him and he felt another blow knock him straight into the chest. Remus' only thought at that moment was that hopefully the spell had not hit Harry, but judged from the amount of pain he himself was in he guessed that the spell had missed his godson.

He was knocked backwards forcefully and barely had the time to secure his hold on the still completely unresponsive child in his arms before the back of his head connected with the solid wall and he sank to the floor. Bright stars erupted behind his eyelids and Remus felt a wave of pain and nausea flood over him. Remus tried to open his eyes, tried to raise his wand towards the direction from which the spell had come, but found that he was completely unable to move for the moment, feeling as if somebody had wrapped him up in a cocoon and dumped him into a basin of water - everything that was happening around him was just out of his reach and ability to do something.

Remus wanted to kick himself that he had not heard the Death Eater sneak up on him, Harry could have gotten hurt. Carefully Remus checked that Harry had not been harmed by the curse or the impact, but nothing additional seemed to have happened to him.

Slowly, Remus tried to get to his feet again, but this proved more difficult than it sounded. As soon as he moved, small stabs of pain shot through his head, making him feel even more dizzy and sick. He breathed in deeply, tried to will down the bile that was rising in his throat. He had to get back into a standing position again, he needed to get Harry out of here as fast as possible. So far, pure luck had saved the child from getting hurt even worse than he already was, but that could not last forever. Next time he might not get off this lightly.

The pain in Remus' head still didn't recede, but he forced himself to open his eyes. Two Death Eaters were advancing on him now, both had their wands raised at Remus' chest. Again, Remus was sure that they had not cursed him already out of the fear that they might hit Harry with it. Surely they would not hurt Harry if there was still the slightest chance that he could be used later on in another attempt to bring Voldemort back.

"Hand over the boy", one of them said from behind his mask.

"Never", Remus spat out, still tasting blood in his mouth from the curse he had received earlier this evening. He gathered Harry even closer, his left hand pressing the child's head against his right shoulder, his right hand still holding his wand in a tight grip. But Remus knew that if he even made the smallest move to raise the wand, he'd be stunned immediately. At best, probably worse than a mere stunning curse, depending on how clever those two were. His breathing was harsh and erratic now, his heart thumping so loudly in his chest that he was sure it could be heard by the others as well.

"Hand over Potter. Now!" The Death Eaters were stepping even closer towards them, and Remus knew that it would only take another moment until they would either forcefully snatch Harry out of his arms or knock him out cold before they did. But still he didn't even contemplate for one short moment to actually do what the Death Eater demanded.

He didn't even answer to the demand this time.

Behind the masks he could not see the Death Eaters' faces, but something in their bearing changed after his repeated refusal to hand them over the child that would help them resurrect their master. If that was still possible after Remus had knocked the cauldron over, but he guessed they would try anything to succeed.

The Death Eater to his left made a sudden, aggressive step forward and Remus immediately turned slightly to shift Harry away from the man, but that only made the other Death Eater advance on him as well. But suddenly the Death Eater to Remus' left stumbled, swayed slightly and then dropped to the floor as if shot, and even as Remus turned his head and looked at what had happened something red flashed past him and hit the other Death Eater in the shoulder, effectively stunning him as well.

With a morbid fascination Remus watched how ropes appeared around their arms and ankles, binding them up in a way that they could never get out of it alone, but only as their wands were suddenly summoned away and Remus followed them with his eyes did he see Janus standing across the room, still quite a distance away from them, his back against the wall, his left hand pointed out his own wand and with the other hand he was catching the Death Eaters' wands.

Remus felt his heart sag with relief that his brother had freed himself from his own battles just in time to help Harry and him. Shaking ever so slightly, Remus tried to get to his feet. Not an easy task with a seven year old child in his arms and quite shaky legs. He made it as far as kneeling before his head began to spin and he felt bile rise up in his throat. He needed to get Harry out of this blasted surreal scenario, needed to get him somewhere safe, he simply could not collapse now! But as much as he tried to tell himself that he only needed to hold on for a little longer, his vision did not clear all that easily. From the corner of his eyes he saw movement where Janus had been standing, indicating that his brother was making his way across the remaining distance towards them.

Remus blinked a couple of times until his vision cleared again, then attempted to get up again.

Remus stopped in mid-movement at what he saw then.

Janus was indeed coming over towards them, but instead of making his way so that the wall was in his back and he was thusly guarded, he took the shorter way straight across the room. Even though he was still a couple of metres away Remus could clearly see the worry on his face, obviously he had also noticed that Remus was bleeding rather badly. What he had forgotten, though, was that there was still quite a number of Death Eaters in the room who only waited for the possibility to get a clear shot at one of the Unspeakables. And one of them had his wand raised into Janus' direction.

"Janus!"

Janus spun around, his wand immediately coming up and it only took a short moment until it came to rest on the Death Eater. A moment too late.

"_Avada Kedavra_!"

Remus heard the curse being shouted into Janus' direction, and with bated breath he watched the flash of green light erupt a couple of metres to his right. Janus shot back a spell, but maybe a moment too late.

"No!"  
As the light faded, Remus saw Janus lying on the ground next to where he had stood a moment ago and it felt as if his heart stopped beating. But only for a short moment, because then Janus turned over and got to his feet again as quickly as possible, his wand pointing at the unmoving form of the Death Eater who had attacked him. Remus had not even noticed that the man had gone down as well.

Slowly, Remus got to his feet, still on very shaky legs. The near-miss of his brother with a Killing Curse had not exactly served to make him feel more comfortable. Harry was still clinging to Remus' neck, holding on with a dead-grip, and Remus could feel his physical strength draining. Fast.

Janus looked over to where Remus was standing, but his eyes were quickly drawn back to his other side. Seemingly, the moment when the attention of solely one Death Eater was focussed on them was over.

Breathing heavily, Janus moved in between Remus and Harry and the advancing Death Eaters. Remus gripped Harry securely in a one-armed hold and brought his own wand up. If Janus gave them a bit of a hand, they could maybe make it to the fireplace. In one of the few moments of silent understanding between them, Janus and Remus simultaneously began to shoot curses and spells, trying to dodge and reflect the spells that were shot back towards them.

Everything was looking quite good, actually. Remus continually moved towards the fireplace when suddenly the thought struck him that he would need floo-powder. He didn't have any with him, there was no need for him to carry some around on all occasions. Janus always had some in one of the many pockets of his robes, but as Remus turned around towards his brother his heart seemed to stop for the second time that evening.

Janus was looking over towards him, startled by him turning around and for just the fragment of a moment distracted from his attackers. Remus saw the Death Eaters who was standing slightly behind his brother raise his wand.

"Ja..."

He didn't even get to finish the second syllable, and neither did Janus have the time to react to his warning this time. Remus saw the Death Eater who had his wand pointed at Janus, he heard the curse being shouted out. Frantically he searched his mind for something he could do, but he knew that whatever he did now it would not come in time to help his brother.

_Please don't let it be a Killing Curse..._

A bright blue light flashed from the tip of the Death Eater's wand and shot towards Janus. Distantly Remus heard somebody call out Janus' name, then realized with a start that he himself had shouted it. It had not sounded like his own voice at all.

People often said that in moments like these time seemed to slow down. Remus didn't know if that was true, he could only say that it seemed to hesitate just enough to make sure he saw everything that happened next clearly. And what he saw would haunt his dreams for a long time to come.

Janus' eyes widened in astonishment and then narrowed in pain as the Cutting Spell hit him and entered deep into his side, just below the ribcage. Immediately, he turned slightly to the side and pressed a hand onto the wound. Between his fingers, Remus could already see bright red blood spill out, and as Janus lifted the hand to examine it more closely his eyes grew wide again as he saw the amount of blood that was clinging to it. Remus had never seen such a shocked expression on his brother's face before. Immediately, Janus pressed his hand back onto the wound again, trying to stem the flow of blood from the wound.

Remus was torn between his wish to storm over towards his brother and try to help him and his desire to bring Harry somewhere safe. But without floo-powder he would not get the child out of here anyway. 

Remus started forward to reach his brother's side, but his head was still spinning, blood was still running down his face and as soon as he started to move he felt dizzy and sick. Harry was a dead-weight in his arms, but nothing in this world would have made Remus let go off his godson right now. He looked up at Janus again just in time to see a second blue flash hit his brother in nearly the same place as the first one had done. Remus could do nothing but watch as his brother's eyes rolled back in his head and he fell to the floor. Unconscious, most probably. Hopefully only unconscious.

_Please don't let him be dead._

It was over now, that cold and sobering thought cleared Remus' mind. Over. Janus would not go down like that if it wasn't a serious injury. The word 'mortal' flashed through Remus' mind, but he pushed it aside.

_Don't think about it, then it won't be true. Just don't think about it._

The Death Eaters were approaching him now, still hesitant because they knew that Harry was needed, hesitant to possibly hurt the child before it became necessary to hurt him in order to bring Voldemort back.

Remus bent forward and shielded Harry with his own body.

Over.

"I love you, pup", he whispered into Harry's ear. "I love you so much. I'm sorry."

Harry whimpered slightly and buried his face in the hollow of Remus' neck. Remus thought he had heard the child say something, but there was no time for him to listen more closely if the child repeated it. Knowing that he didn't have any chance to get out of here alive, Remus brought up his wand and started to fire curses at the advancing Death Eaters, hoping against hope that they would not dare to shoot back serious spells at him and Harry. A couple of heartbeats later Remus felt as if something exploded in the back of his head and he fell forward as everything went dark and unconsciousness claimed him.


	19. A Father's Worst Fears

Okay, I know it's been quite a long wait again. *sigh* I'm awfully sorry and as always I remain in the hope that the next chapter will be out more quickly. which I sincerely hope, because most of it is written already, but I've said that often enough before an...well, we all know that I've been a bit lengthy with my updates.

But here's chapter 19 for a start. And I promise, no cliffhanger this time.  Well, except from the bits of the last cliffhanger that remain unsolved so far, but hopefully this chapter will be a bit better on your nerves.

And so, without further ado:

Enjoy!

**A Father's Worst Fears**

Kingsley Shacklebolt was both unnerved and angry at the moment. He didn't like to be told by others what to do and what not, and especially he did not like dealing with family members during his operations. They always tended to complicate things, emotional involvement was certainly not something an Auror needed to deal with on top of everything else. It always made his work far more difficult than it had to be.

But Richard Lupin had been right with one thing, they did not have time for lengthy discussions and so he had grudgingly agreed to take him along. But if that man only made a step into the wrong direction, if he only attempted to involve himself in their operation, Kingsley himself would have him stunned, bound up and sent back to the Ministry within a heartbeat. Preferably by a portkey set to transport him immediately into one of the Ministry's holding cells in the basement. No matter how worried the man was about his sons.

Kingsley knew Remus from the resistance during the first war against Voldemort, he knew that Richard Lupin's younger son was intelligent as well as competent when it came to defending himself or battling an opponent, maybe even more so than a couple of men in his unit, and he was also aware that Remus' older brother exceeded even those abilities. Janus Lupin had a reputation in the DMLE, and he had not gotten that reputation for nothing. Kingsley did not know the father of those two men, but what he remembered from conversations long in the past was that Richard Lupin was definitely neither an expert on Dark Arts – apart from the knowledge which having a werewolf for a son gave him – nor was he an experienced dueller. If Kingsley remembered right, he was an accountant or something equally theoretical, and he could not deal with somebody like that interfering with his operations.

But as the portkey deposited him and his squad in front of the old Riddle Mansion, he noticed that the rear guard had already instructed Richard Lupin and that he had withdrawn from the immediate proximity of the mansion. Good, one worry less on Kingsley's list. Not that it grew a lot shorter through that one small point, but at least it was something.

Shaking those thoughts from his mind for the moment, Kingsley turned around and raised his hand to gesture for his units to take up their previously assigned positions. A *crack* to his left announced him that Dumbledore had arrived. Kingsley turned towards him, seeking reassurance in his former headmaster's face. He was not overly surprised when he found none, Dumbledore's face looked just as strained as he himself was feeling. Tension was hanging thickly in the air, felt by both of them and probably by each and every single Auror who had come along with them. Dumbledore looked at Kingsley.

"Your men are ready?"

Kingsley nodded. "Yes, they're just waiting for instructions."

"We don't know exactly where we have to go once we're inside, but still I don't think it would be wise to come banging in through only one entrance."

"I thought as much already, I was thinking about sending one third of the men in through the back."

"Good. Then we should not wait any longer, I'm afraid we're already running out of time."

Without another word Kingsley gestured towards the right and a group of Aurors separated from the others, rounding the building in search of the back entrance. Kingsley took a deep breath, then with another last look at his men mouthed "Go!" and followed Dumbledore into the Riddle House.

Kingsley needn't have worried about where to head once they had entered the house, they could easily let the sounds guide them. But the worrisome thing about it was, at least that was what Kingsley thought, that it were definite battle-sounds that were guiding them. Dumbledore had not given him all that much information to work with, but from all that he knew no attempt to resurrect the Dark Lord would involve shouting curses all through the house. Except if there was somebody trying to prevent exactly that, and then they had come just in time. Or so Kingsley hoped

With a speed that belied his old age, Dumbledore headed forward towards a set of doors from behind which the sounds seemed to come. He waved his wand at it and the door-wings opened even before he had reached them. And somehow, from the mere way in which the air seemed statically charged with magic around the old wizard, Kingsley knew that it would have taken any of his men, himself included, far more time and much more power than a mere 'Alohomora' to get that door open. Dumbledore hurried through, and Kingsley followed suit after one last gesture towards his men which told them to stay in formation and keep to the standard battle-plan. Keep together in groups of three, and don't let them get to your backs.

Kingsley entered the room together with two Aurors from his own unit, men he knew for a long time already and on whom he could rely completely, and despite all his years of experience he had to swallow at what he saw. The room was a mess. In the centre a huge cauldron seemed to have been dropped, its contents spilled out across the room. Unmoving figures were lying seemingly everywhere, their number increasing with every moment his men were in the room charging onto the Death Eaters who were present, and in the corner to where three units of Aurors were now heading a battle still seemed to be going on. But what really worried Kingsley was that somebody who was not wearing the Death Eaters' standard black robes was lying near the fireplace to his left in a puddle of blood, and three Death Eaters were still closing in on somebody else in the far off corner to his left, seemingly not noticing that Aurors had arrived or for the moment not caring about it. With a nod of his head Kingsley sent two of the units behind him over to the unmoving man on the floor to find out who he was and to administer first aid. In case that was still necessary of course, because Kingsley was not all that sure that there was still enough life left in the man to save anything, there was simply far too much blood on the floor. But there were men to take care of that now, what was going on in the corner of the room had him worried far more at the moment. Kingsley immediately hurried over towards the three Death Eaters to his left who were by now already disarmed, bound up and ready to be portkeyed to the Ministry holding cells. Leaving his men to do that, Kingsley stepped forward to take a closer look at what the Death Eaters had been so interested in. As his men sent the Death Eaters away and his view on their aim was unobstructed, Kingsley for the first time in a couple of years wished that the Ministry policy did not forbid him to do criminals any more harm than stunning them, if not absolutely necessary.

"Sanders, we're going to need healers here, and over there at the fireplace as well."

"We've got two teams waiting in the hall, but they're instructed to wait until the scene is officially declared safe..."

Whatever Sanders had wanted to add was quickly forgotten at the glare Kingsley shot him. They didn't have time for that now. At that moment, a resounding *crack* was vibrating throughout the room, followed by a couple of loud and rather unpleasant exclamations and profanities from his men. Without looking for confirmation Kingsley guessed that the still conscious Death Eaters who had not been transported away yet must have apparated away, whether by their own decision or by some previously arranged backup-plan Kingsley did not know, but right now he didn't care about that. This had not so much been a mission for imprisonment as a rescue-mission, and he wanted to make sure that they had not been here completely in vain.

The tall Auror immediately knelt down next to Remus' prone form, his hand stretching out in search for a pulse. Remus was bleeding rather badly from a nasty-looking wound on the back of his head, he was as pale as Death himself and if he was still breathing, then so flatly that Kingsley could not immediately see it. If his physical condition had already been as bad as Dumbledore said it had been before he had come here, then Remus needed medical help, and fast. There was still a pulse, but still Kingsley didn't want to risk anything with him.

Remus was lying on his side, curled up around the body of a child whom he held tightly in his arms even in his unconscious state. Harry. Kingsley could not remember that he had ever seen the child, but he immediately recognized him, after all he _was_ Harry Potter. Everybody knew Harry Potter. There was the possibility that he had seen him before, during the first war when James and Lily Potter had been in the Order of the Phoenix with him, but there had been so much to do, and so little time to care about other members' private lives. Besides, there had always been the one or the other Weasley toddler crawling around headquarters, maybe he had seen Harry and thought him to be one of them, redhead or not. But everybody knew Harry Potter, and chances were not really big that there was another seven-year old child here this night.

The child was unconscious, clad in a dirty and torn pair of blue pyjamas, and he seemingly had bumps, bruises and scratches all over. But what seemed to be worst was Harry's left arm which somehow didn't look right. It wasn't standing away in a wrong angle, but still it didn't look all healthy to Kingsley. But that was something the healers should sort out.

He heard somebody approach from behind and come to a halt right behind him. Supposing it was Sanders who had returned from calling in the healers he spoke without turning around.  
"How many did we get?"

"Not nearly half of them", Dumbledore replied while Kingsley spun around in mild shock. It was dangerous to let his guard down like that, even when the situation seemed safe. The old headmaster crouched down next to Remus and Harry, placing a hand on Harry's forehead for a short moment and closed his eyes, just as if he was able do discern the child's health by the small gesture alone. When he withdrew the hand he seemed a slight bit more relaxed.  
"Let's make room for the healers, and I think you want to talk to your men. Also, there is another thing I want you to see, I think the situation might be a bit more complicated than I initially anticipated."

With a nod of his head Kingsley got up from his knees and stepped back so that the arriving healers could examine the two of them and then transport Remus and Harry to a hospital. Dumbledore, however, went over and talked lowly to one of the healers before he followed Kingsley through the room.

"What was that all about?", Kingsley questioned Dumbledore. The older man merely shrugged slightly.

"I only asked the healers not to bring the injured to St. Mungo's, but to the Hogwarts infirmary. There are still too many unanswered questions, I would not feel comfortable with them being in a public hospital right now. Not after there were Death Eaters who escaped tonight."

Kingsley nodded, though he did not completely understand what Dumbledore was so worried about. But in the end it didn't matter, as the Hogwarts infirmary was well enough equipped for the healers they had brought to work in, and if there was one thing Kingsley had always trusted in, then it was that Dumbledore knew what he was doing. So he silently followed the old headmaster across the room to another group of his men who were standing clustered around somebody lying on the floor.

"All right", Kingsley said loudly, pushing through his men, "what is going on here?"

He needn't have asked. Kingsley immediately recognized the man who was lying on the floor, bound up and from the looks of it either stunned or unconscious. Of course there had never been an official notice about the raid in Azkaban, but he had been told a couple of things by Dumbledore.

"Fine, we got Black again. Take two men and portkey him to the Ministry, inform the Minister and get him back to Azkaban as quickly as possible."

Somebody put a hand on his shoulder and as Kingsley turned around he found that Dumbledore was standing beside him and was shaking his head.  
"Hold that order for a moment, will you? As I said, there is something that might complicate things a little."

Kingsley would not have accepted somebody correcting his orders in front of his men from anybody else, but he merely raised a slightly annoyed eyebrow at the older man. If Dumbledore said that, then there was something else worth considering before they carted Black off to the Ministry again, though Kingsley had a hard time imagining what that could possibly be.

"All right, hold that order. Keep a close eye on him until I come back."

The men took his orders with slightly confused expressions on their faces, but nobody said anything. It was an order, they would follow it, no matter if it made sense or not.

Kingsley followed Dumbledore through the room, his feet making wet sucking noises as he walked through the liquid which had spilled from the cauldron earlier on. For a fleeting moment he thought what could have possibly been in that cauldron, but then decided that it would be better not to know. Not really. Dumbledore halted next to where another of the healers was working on somebody whom Kingsley had not even noticed before. Normally the Auror had a knack for grasping entire situations immediately, so he wondered quite a bit why he had not noticed the man lying on the ground in front of the healer before. But as much as he wondered about it, he knew that an explanation would come in given time. But still...

"Albus, I don't see why this should have any influence on me bringing Black back into custody. What is going on here?"

Dumbledore looked sadly down at the man to their feet, his eyes distant and unreadable for a long moment before he looked up again and focussed his eyes on Kingsley.

"I don't see what exactly should complicate matters here", Kingsley continued. "All right, we have an unidentified Death Eater lying on the ground, with injuries of which we don't know where they stem from, but what is the point of all this?"

"The point", Dumbledore answered slowly, "is that this man is Peter Pettigrew."

Kingsley stared at the headmaster for a moment, then looked down at the unconscious man again. Peter Pettigrew? He remembered him from a couple of years ago, the small, chubby man who had always hung around with James Potter and the others. But this man on the floor looked different, older, more strained even in his unconsciousness. And most importantly – Pettigrew was dead for more than five years now.

"But Albus..."

Dumbledore nodded and raised a hand to stop what Kingsley was about to say. "I know. I know what you want to say, believe me. I can't explain it myself. But I am sure that this here is Peter Pettigrew, unless some treachery is involved which I at the moment cannot find any reasons for. Peter is supposed to be dead, as I am sure you know, but if he is here now, alive unlike everything we were told before, then you will surely see why this complicates matters about Mr. Black's imprisonment."

Kingsley slowly nodded. If Pettigrew was still alive, then Black had not killed him. Period. No other possible explanation. But then again Black had not been in prison merely for the murder of his friend, there had been twelve muggles that had also died because of him. He turned towards his former headmaster, his gaze every bit as disbelieving and confused as he felt right now.

"But what would you want me to do? It's not as if I could decide what further happens to Black, no matter if this really is Pettigrew or not. We surely can't leave Black here, and as soon as Fudge gets his bearings and sends somebody else in charge here, he'll be back in Azkaban in no time."

"Have two of your most trusted men bring him to St. Mungo's with me. I'll organize for him to be brought into a secured ward. I want to have him examined before Cornelius can do anything to send him back without further investigation. Something here does not add up, and before I'm not completely convinced that he belongs into Azkaban I'm not willing to let him brought there. It would be far more difficult to get him out there again than it will be to hide him from Cornelius' influence until everything is cleared up."

Kingsley stood with his hands against his hips and his gaze directed towards the far-off wall for a long moment and thought about what Dumbledore was asking him to do. It would be a severe breach of protocol, that much was clear. As long as there was no absolute need to do otherwise, any prisoner was to be brought to the Ministry holding cells and not into a hospital. And from what Kingsley had seen, Black had not suffered any injuries that would demand him to be brought to a hospital, there was nothing wrong with him that could not wait until the standard medical examination every ministry captive had to go through in the first hours after being brought to the Ministry. He could get into serious trouble if he brought Black to St. Mungo's now.

But then again he would already get into deep trouble for taking half the Auror capacities of the Ministry to an unofficial mission under Dumbledore's orders anyway, so he didn't have all that much to lose. After a final moment of hesitation, he nodded.

"All right, I'll send Henderson and Kraft along with you."

"Thank you, Kingsley. I'm convinced it will be the right thing to do. And if it turns out that I'm wrong, I'll make it explicitly clear that I didn't leave you any chance to decide otherwise."

Kingsley only nodded again, not sure if that would help any should Dumbledore prove to be wrong. He didn't know if it was the right thing he was doing, and normally Kingsley trusted his own judgement above anybody else's, but right now he decided to trust Dumbledore's judgement above his own. With slightly hesitant steps he walked over to Henderson and Kraft to tell them what they were supposed to do. Once the two Aurors had agreed to accompany the old wizard to St. Mungo's, Kingsley told the remaining men who were still guarding Black to go and help securing the mansion.  
The healers were still working over Remus and Harry, another group of healers working frantically on the third man on the ground who Kingsley guessed by now was Janus Lupin. He had not seen the older Lupin brother anywhere so far, and though he didn't have a complete overview over the situation yet, Kingsley was sure that Janus Lupin was not amongst the people who were still standing around here in the room. Time to remedy that situation.

The doors to the chamber were guarded, half of his men had set out into the other rooms of the mansion to make sure that no ugly surprises were awaiting them there, the fireplace was disabled and guarded, so nobody got into this chamber without him noticing. Good. The Death Eaters which had been captured had been brought into the holding cells in small groups by now, which was also good, but that had not been many and probably more than half of them had escaped before they could be disarmed and restrained. Not so good, but nothing he could do about that now.

Apart from the healers which were working on the injured, attempting to bring them into a condition stable enough for portkey transportation, the only other activity was that of the groups of his men which were busy investigating the scene already, trying to find out what exactly had taken place.

Kingsley was a bit surprised when he found Lucas Spalding standing not far away from the fireplace, surprised not because the Unspeakable appeared to be relatively unharmed, but because he was not being questioned to the events of the night by Kingsley's men.

A frown on his face, Kingsley gestured for Sanders to come over.

"Why is nobody interrogating Spalding?"

Sanders pulled a face as if Kingsley had just told him to arrest Father Christmas. "We tried to pull him aside for questioning, more than once. But have you ever tried to interrogate that man? It'd be easier to talk to a brick-wall, I can tell you that. He said he'd talk to us when he had time for it and wasn't occupied with other things. And that is the translation of what he really said, because I would not repeat half of the words he used in mixed company, and certainly not one single word of what he said in the presence of my mother. That man can make even the word 'and' sound like a curse."

Kingsley grimaced. Aurors and Unspeakables were hardly ever on good terms with each other, and cooperation between the two departments was never really good. He should have expected something like that. He had half a mind to send two or three of his men over and arrest the man for questioning, but then he saw how Spalding was standing next to where the healers were still treating his partner, noticed how the tall man's posture was somewhat stooped, his face shockingly pale, how he was nervously biting his fingernails while he watched the healers. They had not managed to stop the bleeding on Lupin's side completely, and though Kingsley had not really any medical experience he realized that Lupin's chances for survival did not seem all that good. Unspeakable or not, Kingsley could sympathize with what Spalding was experiencing now, Kingsley himself would not ever want to be in such a position. If people in their line of work chose to work together in pairs, the connection between the partners was always more than a mere working-relationship, trust and personal involvement ran deep in those pairs. Loosing a partner was an emotional setback some never recovered from. Kingsley had not thought that this applied for the generally more ruthless Unspeakables as well, but what he saw now seemed to prove his thoughts wrong. 

"Shall we try to question him again?", Sanders interrupted Kingsley's musings, a slight note of hesitation in his voice. It was obvious that he was not exactly keen on trying to do so. Kingsley shook his head.

"No, leave him be for the moment. There will be time for that later today, it's not as if he was about to run away."

The relief on Sanders' face spoke volumes as he turned away and got back to what he had been doing before Kingsley had called him over. With an audible sigh Kingsley turned as well and walked over to the doors through which they had entered. The scene was as safe as it would get for now, and he knew that Richard Lupin would probably not have the patience left to wait for any longer. Kingsley would have liked to spare the man what he was about to see when he entered here, especially the sight of his son lying in his own blood while the healers struggled to keep him alive, but from the little he knew of the man he guessed that Richard Lupin would try to sneak in here on his own if nobody came to fetch him. And the last thing he needed today was having to explain why one of his men cursed a civilian who suddenly appeared on a crime-scene.

With a last deep breath Kingsley steeled himself and stepped out of the mansion, his eyes straying around in the darkness in search of Richard Lupin.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Richard felt as if the past few hours had not really happened. Everything was just too surreal, so completely different from everything that normally happened in his life. And now this found its peak in him taking a portkey to the Riddle House, the place where from all that he knew the wizarding world's most dangerous tyrant ever was supposed to be resurrected. He didn't really know what he was doing here, he was not cut out for something like this. Richard had not suspected Kingsley Shacklebolt to give in all that easily, but once the black wizard had agreed everything had simply happened so fast. And now the portkey deposited him in front of an eerie looking old mansion and Richard didn't even want to think about what was happening to his sons in there right now.

Williams and the other three Aurors who had taken the same portkey as Richard immediately took up their previously determined positions, not paying any attention to the dark aura that seemed to surround the Riddle House, making Richard feel as if it penetrated his inner core and spread a feeling of overwhelming sadness and fear in him. And if the Aurors noticed this as well, they didn't let show. Strangely, this did not really calm Richard any.

Another group of four Aurors formed the rearguard on the other side of the mansion while the remaining Ministry forces prepared to enter the building. Williams gestured for Richard to move away from the mansion towards a small group of hedges that provided him with some distance to the mansion and at least a bit protection in case something happened out here.

Remembering his deal with Shacklebolt, Richard nodded and complied. Earlier, he had promised to stay behind with absolutely no intention of actually doing so, but now that he had arrived he suddenly knew what Shacklebolt had wanted to prevent.

This was way out of his league. Richard desperately wanted to get to where his sons were, but he would indeed probably make things even worse by his presence. He was not a fighter, had no experience in battling, and he also knew that he would never forgive himself if something happened to Janus or Remus because of him.

He saw that Dumbledore arrived in front of the mansion now as well, but the headmaster didn't even bother to look out for him. Richard understood, he had expected nothing else. After a short conversation with Shacklebolt, which Richard could not understand because he was too far away, the Auror in command ordered his squads, and before Richard knew what was happening, a third of them took the way around the mansion to search for another entrance while the others vanished into the darkness that lay behind the front doors. Dumbledore went in first.

Showtime.

Richard could not see the rearguard anymore, so all that was left for him was to wait for what would happen next. Suddenly, Richard felt really old. For the past couple of hours he had been constantly on the edge, adrenaline keeping him attentive and he had had himself pulled relatively well together, but now with nothing to do but wait all the tension drained out of him quickly, leaving nothing but an empty, numb feeling. He was tired, he had not gotten any real sleep during the past two days. And he was scared, scared worse than he could ever remember being. His hands had started to shake, though Richard had not realized when, and unconsciously he started biting his thumbnail, something he only did when he was extremely nervous. With a sigh, Richard stretched his aching legs and stared ahead into the darkness.

Time was creeping.

Never, never in his entire life had time passed by this slowly. Of course, it could be because Richard checked his watch nearly every twenty seconds, but still. Time was creeping. Richard tried to busy his mind with something else, tried to think of something else. Of anything that could divert his thoughts from his sons. It didn't work, his thoughts always kept returning to Janus and Remus, no matter what he did. There had been quite many times before when he had been pacing up and down because of them, constantly checking his watch and waiting for something to happen.

Richard tried to force himself not to think about that now, tried to think of anything but the times when he knew his sons to be safe and healthy, but he seemed to have lost all the power over his thoughts the moment the waiting had begun.

Janus' birth was the first example that came to his mind. He had waited for three and a half hours after Nadine had been brought into the delivery room. Three and a half of horribly, horribly long hours. Three and a half hours of pacing up and down, of drinking cup after cup of horribly tasting coffee from the hospital-dispenser, and of even more pacing before he had been able to hold his son in his arms for the first time. Remus' birth had not been all that much better, but at least then Richard had been able to keep himself occupied with the four year old Janus. And that had been 'happy' waiting, waiting for something that he had been excited about. Time had crept back then as well, but Richard had not been this scared.

The first full moon night after Remus had been bitten by the werewolf had been similar to the nerve-wracking wait now, horrible waiting, fearful waiting. Remus had had barely recovered from his injuries of the werewolf attack when Richard had been forced to lock his five-year old child up for the night, hoping that he would still be alive the next morning. None of the doctors had been very optimistic about that, and Richard had spent the entire night standing in front of the locked and warded basement door, his hands and forehead pressed against the wood and tears streaming down his face. It had always been horrible for him to wait through the full moon nights, but never just as bad as during this first night.

Slightly more than three years later Richard had spent equally horrible hours of waiting in a narrow corridor in front of the Beauxbatons school hospital after Nadine and he had been called there by an extremely confused and agitated headmistress. During a Quidditch match Janus had been busy knocking a Bludger at an opponent and had not seen the second Bludger approach him from behind. The impact with the back of his head had left him unconscious and he had fallen nearly forty feet to the ground before anybody could have reacted. That accident had left Janus with a cracked skull and quite a bad concussion, and it had left Richard and his wife with a horribly long wait before the school-healer had assured them that Janus would recover completely.

He had felt just as helpless on those occasions back then as he did now. Only now it was the life of _both_ of his sons that was at stake. And that of his grandson, if Dumbledore was right in his assumptions.

Richard shook his head and forced himself to stop those thoughts. They would not lead anywhere, he would only drive himself even farther into mental exhaustion. His sons simply had to be alive, he could not imagine anything else. They had to be alive. They simply had to. His sons could not be dead, they could not have been killed out here by Death Eaters without him there to try and help them. If he only told himself often enough that thy were still alive then he might finally start believing it.

After what seemed like another small eternity, Richard saw movement from the front entrance through which the Aurors had entered the house earlier. With bated breath he watched as two Aurors left the house and went over to the two groups of rearguards. Behind them, Kingsley Shacklebolt left the mansion and let his eyes stray through the surroundings as if in search of something. Richard didn't even wait until the tall wizard's eyes had settled on him, he immediately sprinted over to Shacklebolt. The distance was only short, but still Richard felt breathless as he finally stood face to face with the Auror again.

"What about my sons?" He didn't have any time to waste with other questions. Shacklebolt only gestured into the mansion.

"You can come in now, we've declared the scene safe."

"What about my sons?", Richard repeated.

"You'd better see for yourself", was all that Shacklebolt said as he led the way through the hall. Richard followed the Auror into the mansion, something he knew he would not have done under any other circumstances. His feelings of raw fear and claustrophobia increased threefold the moment he stepped over the threshold, and in his mind Richard was contemplating over and over again why Shacklebolt had flat out refused to answer his question about Janus' and Remus' welfare. If there had been a simple answer – like 'they're alive and well' – then surely he would have given it. Richard's stomach jerked horribly, feeling as if an iron fist was slowly squeezing his insides until he thought he had to run out of here immediately. The only thought that kept him going was the knowledge that in a couple of moments he would finally learn what had happened to his sons, and their wellbeing was far more important than his own insignificant fears.

They didn't have to walk long, after turning around one corner Shacklebolt opened a double winged door and they entered some sort of chamber. It was far larger than the chamber from which the Aurors had departed earlier that evening, and at first Richard could not see anything clearly. There were many Aurors standing or walking around, quite a number of them seemed to have apparated away already, and nowhere was a trace of his sons or Harry. But suddenly his eyes fell onto a group of Aurors that blocked his view on what was going on behind it. All he could see was that there were people kneeling on the floor, and there was a hectic urgency in what they were doing. Next to them his son's partner was standing, pale as a ghost, watching what was going on in front of him with a horrified look on his face. There was a smell in the air Richard faintly recognized. Many years ago, the faint trace would have probably reminded him of his time at Beauxbatons, when he had been in detention and had to clean up the copper cauldrons in the Potions classrooms. But after decades of taking care of a lycanthropic son after the full moons, after years and years of treating wounds of all kinds, from small scratches to life-threatening injuries, Richard immediately recognized the slight coppery stench as that of blood in the air. A lot of blood. Richard jumped in shock as somebody put a hand on his shoulder. Shacklebolt was standing next to him, a sympathetic expression on his face.

"They're about to portkey him to Hogwarts. Dumbledore thought it better not to bring him to St. Mungo's, and Madam Pomfrey and the healers will take good care of him, I'm sure of that."

Richard looked completely befuddled for a moment, then he made a step forward to see what was going on. Whom did they want to bring to Hogwarts? Why? What had happened?

Richard didn't even realize that he started shaking all over as his eyes fell onto the scene on the floor. His knees threatened to give out underneath him, but Richard didn't notice that either. In fact it was only Kingsley's grip on his arm that kept him relatively upright during the first moments of the shock.

There was blood, far too much blood, covering the dirty tiles of the stone floor in front of him. And at his feet, in the middle of his own blood, Janus was lying on the floor, pale as a wraith, healers frantically treating to him. Richard tried to focus his gaze enough to find out what exactly was wrong with his son, but found that he could not. He simply could not. What if he took a closer look only to find out that no matter what the healers did, Janus' wounds would prove to be fatal?

But Richard didn't have the time to think even further about that, because at that moment the healers interrupted their treatment, one of them conjured a stretcher under Janus and they all held on to it, only to vanish a moment later.  
Richard blinked.

Janus had vanished, only all the blood on the floor still showed that Richard had not only imagined to have seen his son lying there a moment ago. He became aware that somebody was squeezing his shoulder.

"They just brought him to Hogwarts. I'm sure he'll be all right."

Richard had heard far too many platitudes in his life already to believe what Shacklebolt was saying, but he didn't blame the Auror for trying. But another thought occurred to him.

"What about Remus? And where is Harry?"

With a gentle pressure on his shoulder, Shacklebolt steered him through the room. Maybe he thought that after Richard's reaction to seeing Janus it was better to prepare him for what he was about to see this time, because he kept talking to him while they crossed the room to the second group of healers.

"They're alive, both of them. They'll need medical attention, they're both a bit roughed up, but I'm convinced they will be all right in no time."

The words were well meant, but they missed their aim completely because Richard was not listening at all. He only wanted to see what was wrong with his younger son and his grandson, wanted to see it and then he could react to it, his reaction somewhere on a scale between being relieved and breaking down. The healers had already placed Remus and Harry on a conjured stretcher, and as they stepped closer Kingsley was glad that it was hovering slightly above the floor. That way, Richard did not see that Remus' head wound had also bled quite a bit. With a smile Kingsley noticed that the healers had not managed to pry Harry out of Remus' arms, though his dead-grip on the child seemed to have lessened somewhat. One of the healers was just taking Harry's pulse as Richard made a step forward, kneeling down next to the stretcher and running his hand through Harry's messy hair. Startled at the intrusion, the healers looked up in search of an explanation, but Kingsley only nodded at them.

"If possible, take him with you to Hogwarts. He's a relative, it's all right."

There was an answering nod and then one of the healers began talking to Richard, but the older man barely noticed that he was being talked to. His attention was focussed solely on his younger son and his grandson as he knelt next to the stretcher and tried to find out if what Shacklebolt had said was indeed true. In the end, one of the healers held Richard's hand pressed against the handle of the stretcher as another activated the portkey and they vanished towards Hogwarts.

We haven't had any A/N's for quite a long time, had we? Well, let's do it again, unfortunately only for the reviews for chapter 18 (otherwise I'd not have gotten that chapter out within the next fortnight…you guys are great!).

Here we go!

**JoeBob1379**: So you knew it...sure. If only things were this easy, you know? I won't tell you too much, but I can tell you that it won't be as easy as Padfoot getting up and everything being all right within a moment. Unfortunately not.

**Lisande**: Well, cliffhangers are the most fun to write, you know? And it isn't that I search for ways to let chapters end on cliffhangers, it's rather that some of those cliffhangers are often the first scenes I write. I don't search those cliffhangers, they somehow seem to find me...You will get to know what happened to Sirius within the next couple of chapters.

As far as Janus is concerned...it's difficult. I love him to bits, but it's difficult. You just have to believe me that if somebody dies in this story it will have a reason.

**Tami**: Of course you may give me tips, anytime you want. I understand what you say about the crying issue. I already had the discussion once that Remus appears to be a lot weaker in this story than most people see him – and a lot weaker than I from the writer's perspective see him. I guess that I'm sometimes not able to see things the way the readers see them, that's why. But I keep it in mind.

About the killing-issue...well, I don't think I'm afraid to kill somebody. I did, in other stories I killed Dumbledore and Sirius off without a second thought about it. But while I agree with you that angst is best and that those stories which do not shy away from doing the unexpected are most appreciated, I always need a good reason for a character death. That is one of the main reasons why I disagree with how JKR killed Sirius in OoP. The ending of the story is already set, whether it suits the readers or not, and I can promise you that there won't be all that much more action-scenes in it. FairyTale not likes to write action-scenes, not at all.

**Wynjara**: Thank you! Suspense nearly over, I promise.

**Neoma**: Thank you!

**ZSlyth**: Erm...yes? I did stop there, I think. Cliffhanger, fun to write, you know? You thought the chapter was bad? Sorry to hear that, I hope you'll like the next ones better. I'm not all that comfortable with writing action, but that should be over soon. Just as long as you don't think the story is bad...*g* You'll have to wait to see what will happen to Sirius.

**anaticulapraecantrix**: It was the last time, I promise. Well, at least the last evil cliffhanger of the story. About Sirius you will have to wait until you see, but in good time all will be explained.

**Azn A**: Thank you! Hope you caught your breath again...*g* Story's nearly over, glad you like it.

**Rini Savian-jin**: If only people would think up names I could type without looking every single letter up...*sigh* I hope I spelled it correctly, though. Glad you like the story, I know that it's confusing at times, but as long as you think it was still worth the read I'm glad about it.

**BalrogsBreath**: Sirius/Remus interaction...will have to wait a bit longer. But there will be some more to come. And Janus' fate will be explained in the next two chapters.

**Mistri, Tonks' Admirer**: That about sums it up very well indeed. Glad you like the mixture. The deal about Sirius and Peter was a bit difficult for me to develop, because as soon as I had settled on one of them being guilty and the other being innocent, I changed my mind and re-wrote those scenes. Now I've settled on a slightly different approach in the hope that my readers will like it. It's not a clear black and white/guilty not guilty distinction anymore, but to see what that means you'll have to wait a bit longer...

I'm glad that you liked the way Richard was behaving, he's surprisingly easy – and very much fun – to write. And I guess his insistence that he's coming for his sons is the only thing keeping him upright at that moment.

Kingsley is one of my favourite characters from OoP, he's fun to play around with. Why that secretary is infatuated with him? Well, he's tall, black, bald, handsome...think: Samuel L. Jackson...hmmmm...oops, was there something I said?

You are right about Fudge's attitude, but to be bluntly honest I did not really want to sit down and spend time thinking about what kind of character he could have been at that time and how he could have changed over the years, that was too much effort for such a small scene. So I decided to take him the way we got to know – and dislike – him from the canon books.

Janus is always doing something stupid, at least from some peoples' point of view. I'm glad you liked the action in the chapter, I'm always a bit worried about writing action. I don't really like it all that much, it's too difficult. Does overturning the cauldron mean that they are both dead for good? No. Explanations? Coming up soon. Thank you!

**Lady Arwen of Rivendell**: Harry is not actually unconscious, he's rather completely catatonic (if that's the right word), too shocked and stunned to react to anything that is going on around him. Thank you very much, I hope you like the rest of the story as well.

**Aeryn Alexander**: Well – Janus. Yeah, that's a lot of mortal danger for one person alone (though he's an Unspeakable and not an Auror, but after reading OoP I just might change that). And make that bleeding *badly*. Just so you get the image. you could be right about guessing who gave them back their wands, but that wasn't all that hard to guess. But further explanations are about to come.


	20. Healing Wounds

A big hello to everybody out there who has stuck with me so far. You're awesome, I know that my random and irregular updating is not so easy to bear. Here is chapter – where exactly are we now? 19? 20? – well anyway, here is the next chapter. Without further ado. I know that the last chapter was a bit strange, but it just needed to be like that.

I hope, as always, that you enjoy it, and as always I appreciate every review. Not long to go now, promise.

Enjoy!

**Healing Wounds**

Hearing was always the first sense to come back, not matter for what reason he had been unconscious this time. It was no different today. Remus heard an indefinable mass of low and overlapping noises from farther away, maybe even from outside. As he drifted a bit closer to consciousness, he was able to discern more clearly between the sounds he was hearing.

The sound of somebody walking over tiled floor, the sound of a curtain being drawn and a window being closed, but closest of all was the sound of somebody breathing somewhere to his right.

None of those sounds could he immediately connect to an old, seemingly deserted mansion, the shuffling of many booted feet on damp stone floor or to the sound of curses being shouted in a desperate attempt to escape with their lives, no matter how faint the hopes were.

Where did all those thoughts come from?

Remus didn't know, he only knew that it was important, that something had happened and he needed to tell somebody about it. Something with Janus and him, something to do with Harry.

Those thoughts felt like the vivid memory of a livid nightmare. But was it?

A big part inside of him screamed that it wasn't, that it had really happened, but he really didn't think...no. Surely it had only been a dream.

He needed to focus on getting more awake, then he could surely start to make sense of it all. Maybe somebody was there who could shed some light onto it all.

"It's good to see you awake again, Remus. It's starting to get a frighteningly regular development that has me sitting next to your bed, waiting for you to wake up. Believe me that this time you will stay here until you are declared completely healed, even if that means I'll have to tie you to the bed. Do you understand me?"

Remus smiled upon hearing the calm voice, or at least he thought he smiled. He could not tell for sure whether he had gained control over his facial muscles again just yet. For a moment he concentrated on breathing, then attempted to bring out an answer.

"How...did you...?"

"Know that you are awake?", Richard finished for him. "Remus, I've sat by your bedside so many times that I can very well tell when you are awake and when not."

Remus felt his hand being squeezed and he struggled to open his eyes. His father was sitting next to his bed, looking at him with a smile forced onto his face. He was sitting in one of the uncomfortable looking chairs of the Hogwarts infirmary wing – which would answer the question as to where he was, though not how he had come here – and he didn't look all too well. Definitely as if he had seen better times. He was unshaved and had dark rings under his eyes that told about a couple of sleepless nights at least. In Remus' eyes he looked shockingly old all of a sudden, a thought that burned itself into his brain with a frightening presence.

On Richard's lap, his face buried in the folds of Richard's slightly crumpled robes and his small arms wrapped around his grandfather's waist as far as they would go, was Harry. He seemed to be fast asleep, his breathing deep and even, and apart from a bandage on his left arm and a couple of band aids he appeared to be unharmed. Richard was soothingly stroking up and down Harry's back under his shirt.

Remus' mind was still not working with its usual capacity yet, but seeing his godson very obviously alive and relatively fine – at least he was not seriously injured if he was not lying in a hospital bed –made his heart sag in relief. Harry was alive, he was still there, Remus had not lost him. Everything else they would deal with when the time came, but the most important thing was that his child was still alive.

Remus struggled into a sitting position, wincing slightly as his sore and stiff body protested against the movement, but despite the pain he never took his eyes off his sleeping godson's form.

"How is he?"

Richard followed Remus' gaze towards the child in his lap, running his free hand through Harry's messy black hair and smiling fondly.

"He had a broken arm and a lot of bumps and bruises. Some small scratches as well, he was cold and had not eaten properly. But Madam Pomfrey fixed him up all right, he was physically fine after some potions, a bit of sleep and some food."

Richard sighed and paused for a moment, which told Remus that there was more to the story. He looked at his father, a worried frown on his face. Richard looked back, tightening his hold on Harry's lithe form.

"He's been pretty disturbed, Remus. Not that it wasn't to be expected, not after being kidnapped like that. What happened wasn't easy for him to deal with and he was worried about you to top it all."

"How long was I out?"

"Slightly more than three days. Madam Pomfrey said that it was not unusual after all you've been through during the past week, but of course that was a bit harder to understand for Harry." He sighed again and continued to run his hand in slow soothing circles under Harry's shirt. Harry sighed lowly and buried himself deeper into the folds of Richard's robes but didn't wake up.

"He's been extremely clingy ever since he woke up again. He didn't want to be left alone and he didn't want to leave your side. I've never seen that child so worried. He was so scared that you would not wake up, no matter how often I told him that you would be all right and were only sleeping deeply. He simply didn't understand why you didn't react when he talked to you or tugged at your hand. He started screaming and squirming, threw tantrum after tantrum whenever I tried to take him out of here.

And as soon as you feel up to it again you will have a long talk with him about why he shall not kick his grandfather."

Remus could not hide the smile on his face, though what Richard had said about Harry's behaviour worried him.

"He kicked you?"

Richard nodded, his free hand rubbing a spot on his upper thigh.

"Yes, he did. I simply wanted to take him out into the fresh air for a while, but he refused to go. So I picked him up, but he screamed and yelled like a hooligan and kicked me hard. He even tried to bite me, and I only refrained from giving him a lecture because he was already crying so hard."

Richard looked back at his son, a sad look on his face.

"It will take a lot of time to get him over this. Albus tried to talk to him twice already, but Harry completely blocked him out, and no matter what we tried, none of us could get through to him either. We're all hoping that he'll be a bit more open about it with you."

Remus nodded, looking sadly at his godson. As glad as he was to have him back – especially since he had already considered him gone – it hurt to think about what the child had been through. But suddenly another thought shot through his mind and he sat up a bit straighter despite the pain and stiffness in his whole body.

"What happened to Janus? How is he?"

Richard's face fell and for a moment Remus thought that the unthinkable had happened. The image of Janus' bleeding form was lividly etched to the back of his eyelids. How could he have forgotten about that, even if only for one moment?

And why did his father look so shaken and sad all of a sudden? What if...but no. It simply could not be. Janus could not be...

"It was a pretty close call, I can tell you. He lost a lot of blood until help arrived and brought you all here. Madam Pomfrey said he was lucky to have made it until then, and the first night was touch and go for most of the time. But it got better over the course of the day and he woke up in the evening.

Serena took him home yesterday, we both were afraid Madam Pomfrey would strangle him otherwise. Those two were constantly yelling at each other, you know what your brother is like with doctors and hospitals. Janus was accusing her of making him feel worse on purpose, she was threatening to sedate him, he was calling her a mean old bat, she was calling him a spoilt brat, and so it went back and forth for the entire day. A small wonder that you didn't wake up from their constant shouting matches.

He's still condemned to bed-rest, though how Serena bears with him and his moods remains a mystery to me. But give it another days and he'll be his old self again."

Remus nodded, though he had not really heard the last part of Richard's words at all. Janus was all right, Harry was all right, that was all that mattered at the moment. He sank back into his pillow again, allowing his exhaustion to take over. But his curiosity was stirred.

"What happened? The last thing I remember is when that Cutting Spell hit Janus, after that everything is a bit fuzzy."

Richard shifted Harry slightly in his lap and turned a bit towards Remus.

"No small wonder that you don't remember anything, they knocked you out pretty good. Pure luck, that's what saved you all in the end. After that portkey took Janus and you, I contacted Professor Dumbledore. And that's when the pure luck sets in. He received word from somebody he knew, somebody who from all he told had spied on the Death Eaters during the first war already. That person was called to that mansion, and Dumbledore had a tracking spell on him. As he said as a 'precaution for such occasions', and I don't really want to know what's behind this. The short version is that he tracked him down to Little Hangleton and we went there with half of the Ministry's Auror capacities."

Remus was startled to see tears forming in his father's eyes as he looked at him. He reached for Richard's hand to squeeze it, but his father didn't seem to notice.

"They didn't want me to go with them at first, but I didn't give in and so they forced me to stay behind and wait outside until they had declared the scene safe. It was...those were the most horrible twenty minutes of my life, I can tell you. When they finally allowed me in there, they were just about to portkey Janus away. There was all this blood, and so many people standing around Harry and you, and nobody let me through or told me anything...I was so worried, Remus. Please don't ever do that to me again, I was beside myself with worry when the two of you were gone so suddenly. I...", his voice broke and with a twisted grin Richard bit his lip and turned his eyes towards the ceiling. "Sorry, I really hoped not to get all soppy with you to top it all, I already bawled my eyes out when Janus woke up again. Guess I'm getting a bit weak at my old age."

There was nothing Remus could think of which he could respond to that. He didn't like to think about his father getting older, even if it was only in jest, and he really didn't want to think about what his father getting older could possibly lead to. So instead he remained silent and gave Richard enough time to regain his composure. It seemed to help because his smile wasn't all that shaky anymore when he turned it on his son again.

"I love you, child. And I would really appreciate it if you and your brother wouldn't get yourself into any kind of mortal danger anymore. I'm not ready to lose you, not now and not anytime in the future."

Remus suppressed the urge to tell his father that life was dangerous and without guarantees, instead he smiled shakily at him. "Will try to do, promise. I love you too."

Remus wanted nothing as much right now than to close his eyes and fall asleep on the spot, but there were still too many questions whirling around in his head.

"Dad, what happened after I was unconscious? What about Voldemort and the Death Eaters? What about Lucas? And...Sirius was there as well, and Peter... What...?"

Richard silenced his son with a shake of his head and a finger across Remus' lips, an action that made him look quite odd the way he had to bent from his chair to reach him.

"Not now, Remus. There are answers for all those questions, but not now. I don't know the answers myself, for the most part. From all I know, Lucas is alive and well, and the rest is in the hands of the Ministry and Professor Dumbledore for the time being. That's all the answers you need right now, leave the rest for later, all right?"

Remus nodded mutely. Those answers didn't satisfy his curiosity, but he knew that if his father had his mind set on not telling him then he was fighting a hopeless struggle to pursue the questions any further. Richard watched him worriedly, as if searching for the right words to ask what was on his mind. After a long moment, he finally did, in his usual direct and open way.

"Remus, what happened between Janus and you?"

Remus looked up, seemingly startled. How did his father know that something had happened at all? He simply could not imagine Janus telling their father about it, not at all.

"What do you mean?"

"Remus, I know you and your brother better than the two of you think. And I know that Janus is behaving extremely strange whenever your name is mentioned. This is going on ever since he woke up and I simply can't get rid of the feeling that something happened after that portkey took you away. What was it?"  
Remus closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, trying to fight out the image that was surfacing over and over again. The expression on Janus' face as he had raised his wand and pointed it at him simply didn't vanish again, no matter how hard he tried. He swallowed hard and shook his head, indicating his father that he could not talk about it now. It took a moment until he trusted his voice enough again to speak.

"I can't...I...please don't ask me that now, Dad. That is something I'll need to talk to Janus about first." He shook his head again. "But not today."

His eyes fell back on Harry, who was slowly beginning to stir in Richard's lap. Richard smiled.  
"Good. The little one was starting to get heavy."

Harry rubbed his face into his grandfather's robes for a moment, then lifted his head and looked at Richard from those incredible green eyes. Richard smiled and bent down to give Harry a kiss on the forehead.

"Hello sweetheart. Slept well?"

Harry shrugged and cuddled close to his grandfather's comforting warmth again for a moment.

"Look who woke up a couple of minutes ago."

Obediently Harry turned around and his mouth dropped open as he saw Remus sitting up in his bed, wide awake and smiling at him.

"Hello pup."  
That was all it took to send Harry scrambling off his grandfather's lap and over to where Remus was sitting on his bed. The already huge smile on his face widening even further, Remus stretched out his arms and lifted him over into his lap.

Harry cuddled close into this godfather's arms and Remus could feel the small shoulders shaking with the sobs that wrung free from him. Remus held him as close as he could, his face pressed into the mop of black hair and muttering sweet nothings under his breath.

"You came for me." Harry finally whispered, and the honest conviction that he had expected nothing else from his godfather brought the tears into Remus' eyes.

"Yes. I'm sorry that it took me so long to get you, pup. I'm so sorry. I wanted to come to you earlier, but I simply could not. I'm sorry, pup. So sorry."

There were tears running down Remus' face now, but Harry only sighed and cuddled closer to his godfather, for the moment content to be in Remus' arms.

"I'll never let anybody take you again, I promise. I'm so sorry pup."

He felt a hand on his arms and upon looking up found that Richard had gotten up from his chair. He squeezed his arm again and gestured towards the door.

"I'll leave the two of you alone for a while. I'll floo over to Janus and tell him that you are awake again. You'll be all right with Harry for a while?"  
Remus nodded, now himself taking up the slow soothing strokes along Harry's back.  
"Sure Dad, just go. We'll be all right."

Remus didn't even hear Richard leave the room, his attention was immediately drawn again to the still crying child in his arms. Gently he shifted himself and Harry into a more comfortable position and slowly rocked him back and forth.

"It's all right, Harry", he whispered into his godson's ear, "everything will be all right again, I promise. I won't let anything happen to you, never again."

Harry nodded into Remus' shoulder but refused to let go off his neck. Remus tried to pry the child's grip loose a little and pressed a kiss on his forehead. Harry indeed leaned back a little, but he refused to look into Remus' eyes. Remus gently wiped away the tear-tracks on Harry's cheeks with his thumbs and lifted his head up a bit so that he could look into Harry's emerald eyes.

"What's wrong, pup?"

Harry was silent for a moment, his chin wobbled slightly as if he was forcefully pushing back new tears. When he finally spoke, his voice was very low and timid.

"I lost Rory."

Just that. I lost Rory. Those three words, spoken with the conviction that he had done something bad and expected punishment for it. Remus felt something clench inside of his chest and quickly pulled the child close again.

"Oh Harry, that's not so bad."

"Yes it is", Harry sobbed. "You gave him to me and I lost him."

Remus did not think that he could ever look at the stuffed lion again without thinking about what had happened to Harry and him during the past days, but Harry obviously loved his stuffed animal far more than Remus had initially thought. If it had survived the trip home stuck to the inside of his robe, then they could surely clean it up and give it back to the child, no matter if the animal gave Remus the creeps or not. Right now it was important that Harry felt comfortable, and if he needed the lion for it, fine by Remus. He sat up a bit straighter and tried to find out where his robes had been put, but he didn't see them. Harry sobbed again and Remus' attention was quickly drawn away from his search.

"Harry, we've found Rory. I've had him with me when we came for you. I don't know where exactly my robes have been put, but as soon as I find them I'll give Rory back to you."

"You found him?" Green eyes which were still glassy from crying looked up at Remus, disbelief evident in them. "You found Rory?"

Remus smiled warmly. "Yes, we did. It's all right, Harry, the only thing that matters now is that you're back again."

With a sigh Harry cuddled back against Remus' chest, but this time Remus felt the tension slowly leave Harry's body.

"I love you, pup."

Harry shifted around a bit and rubbed his face deeper into Remus' infirmary shirt. "Love you, too. Please don't ever let the bad men take me again. Don't leave me alone."

"I won't, Harry. I promise."

Remus did not know how long Harry had been sleeping on Richard's lap before he himself had woken up, but the child still seemed to be extremely tired, or rather exhausted. No small wonder if Harry had indeed been this worried about him for the past days, then Remus could imagine that he had not gotten all that much rest. Harry had a tendency to neglect himself a bit if there was something bothering him, something Remus had already noticed before the events of the past weeks. It might be an unusual trait in a seven year old child, and actually Remus did not know where it came from, but if Harry cared about somebody, he cared deeply, and if he was worried about that person then he hardly thought about anything else. Remus remembered only too well how Harry had behaved slightly more than a year ago when Remus had caught a rather bad virus and had been out cold for a day with a high fever, and sick with a lower fever for a couple of days more. Remus didn't remember all that much from that first day when his fever had been at its highest, but the days afterwards Harry had spent all his time when he was not in school sitting up with him, playing games, talking or just watching him sleep. Back then Janus and his father had not managed to lure him out of his bedroom very often, not until Harry had been convinced that Remus was fine again, and if he had behaved like that – or even worse – during the past days Remus could imagine very well what his father had been through. He'd have his talk with Harry about kicking Richard later, Remus decided.

Right now he was actually rather hungry...

While Remus was still sitting in his bed contemplating how he would manage to get hold of something to eat without waking Harry up again, the solution to his problems walked through the aisle between the beds towards his bed. Madam Pomfrey had already heard that her patient was awake again and she was quite glad about it. Compared to his brother, Remus Lupin was a saint when he was under her care, and the many dealings she had had with him during his school time had left her with quite a soft spot for the man.

So she was smiling as she stepped beside the bed and saw him sitting with Harry in his arms.

"Ah, so you've finally decided to wake up again, Mr. Lupin."

Remus cocked his head to the side and smiled back at the nurse.

"A person can only survive for so long without any food, you know?"

The nurse merely received a raised eyebrow as an answer to that, but the message was clear even without the need for her to use words. First another examination, then they could talk about food. And as he was lying in her infirmary – which officially labelled him as 'sick' – food would not consist of anything other than nourishing broth or soup with toast for quite a while to come. For those who were able to read her, Madam Pomfrey was able to produce protesting groans with merely such a raised eyebrow. Remus shuddered at the thought of what she could do if she used both eyebrows.

But this time Remus fought down his urge to groan, knowing that he could just as well send Harry if he woke up again or his father if he came back to organize him a house elf without the nurse realizing. He had not been a Marauder for nothing, and one of the main Marauder principles was to have at least one co-conspirator.

For a couple of minutes Madam Pomfrey waved her wand over Remus, wrote things down on a sheet of parchment, until she finally nodded and finished the examination.

"Well, it seems that your body took back most of the rest you needed but didn't give yourself. Another couple of days of taking it low, then you should be fine again. There were slight after-effects of the curses that hit you, but the worst part is dealt with now. A bit of rest is all you need now."

There it was, her favourite word. _Rest_. A Sickle for every time Remus had heard it from the nurse and he could buy his own hospital for treatment.

"I'm sure that a bit of food would do no harm, either. And could we maybe skip the soup-phase, just for once?"

Remus did his best to look pleading, and after a moment Madam Pomfrey shook her head with a smile.

"There is nothing wrong with eating soup, Mr. Lupin, it's nourishing and not too heavy. But as I am a bit afraid that deep down inside you might be just a bit more similar to your brother than is good for my nerves, I'll ask a house-elf to bring something more substantial. But only if you promise not to yell around my infirmary, Merlin knows that this room has had enough of that during the past days."

"Positively no yelling from my side, I promise. Thank you."

With a smile Madam Pomfrey turned around and left Remus' bedside to ask for food being brought up. Of course she had not been entirely serious, she knew Remus well enough to say for sure that he would not yell around the room, yet the memory of his brother was still vivid in her mind. She shook her head. Sometimes, adults were far worse than small children. She had seen eleven year olds take serious treatments far braver than Janus Lupin had been when she had asked him to take a simple potion. Were it not for the slight but undeniable physical similarities, she might have doubted that those two men were related at all. But she would be glad if none of them became her patient again, Remus because she liked him far too much to see him being sick, and Janus because he was probably the worst patient she had encountered in her entire career.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Two hours later Remus had eaten a hearty meal that had not contained any soup whatsoever – but a piece of chocolate cake for dessert, which had lightened Remus' mood remarkably – and Harry had gone home with his grandfather after he had woken up. Reluctantly, but this time no kicking had been involved when Richard had finally picked him up and carried him towards the fireplace, which Remus decided to take as a good sign. Richard had not closed the curtains around Remus' bed again when he had left, so Remus could immediately see who came to visit him as the infirmary doors opened and Albus Dumbledore entered the room. Remus sat up straighter in his bed and put aside the book he had been reading.

"Hello, Albus."

Dumbledore smiled and pulled up a chair to sit down next to Remus' bed.

"Hello Remus. It's a relief to see you awake again, I have to admit. How are you feeling?"

Remus shrugged slightly. "All right, I think. Still a bit queasy, but Madam Pomfrey said that'll pass. I'm more worried about Harry."

Dumbledore nodded, a sad smile on his face.

"Yes, I know, he has been very disturbed before you woke up. I don't know if your father told you, I tried to talk to him a couple of times but unfortunately he refused to talk about what had happened. But he's strong, Remus. Extraordinarily so. He has to be, considering what he still might have to face later in his life. But I'm sure that if we give him enough time, he'll get over this. He has you and your family, he has people to hold on to. Give him time."

"I know, I just can't stand to see him like that. Do you remember how long it took us to get all the insecurities the Dursleys left in him out again? I don't want him to go through something like that again."

Both men silently sat there for a moment, thinking about what Harry had been through and would still have to go through. After a while Remus shook his head. He didn't want to think about that now. He would take things as they came, do his best to help Harry get over what happened, but first he himself needed to understand what that was. And for that, he needed some answers. Dumbledore seemed to sense the change because he quickly changed the topic.

"I trust your father did not answer all the questions you surely have earlier."

Remus smiled. "That's right. The bottom line of what he told me was 'everything is all right, don't you worry'. I was hoping that you could give me the answers I need."

"What questions do you want to have answered?"

Inwardly, Remus shook his head. Always the cryptic and wise old wizard, that man would never change.

"What happened after I got knocked out would be a good start. Dad told me that Ministry Aurors arrived a short time afterwards, but he was a bit hazy considering the details. What happened to Voldemort and all the Death Eaters that were there? And what role Sirius played in all this also confused me to no end."

Dumbledore nodded and leaned back in his chair, hands folded in his lap.

"I had thought as much. To answer your first question, it was a lot of luck that had us arriving at the Riddle House just in time."

"Dad said so, but that still doesn't explain anything. He said something about a tracking charm, but I really don't know what to make of that."

"When that portkey took you and your brother away, your father immediately called me. But while we still were at your brother's house another message reached me. That was the luck I was talking about, had not somebody else been called to the same place we probably would not have known where to start the search for you."

Remus thought for a moment, but the answer was already clear to him. There simply was no other explanation.

"Severus sent you the warning, didn't he?"

"You don't seem all that surprised."

Remus smiled. "I am, believe me. But maybe not for the reasons you expected me to be. Don't forget that I was in the Order during the war, Albus. We all knew that there was at least one Death Eater working on our side, passing on information to you. It was the only thing that made sense. And it didn't take a genius to figure out who it could be. I never asked for confirmation because it was not my place to pry, but I suspected it all along."

"Then why are you surprised?"

"Because until you just confirmed it to me, I had always thought that he'd value his life a bit more than that. There are no warm feelings between him and me, that is no secret, but I know that he is both powerful and intelligent. No matter how close he and his family were always straying to the Dark, I had always thought that this would prevent him from selling out his soul to Voldemort."

Dumbledore looked out of the window for a long moment, then he turned back his gaze and shook his head.

"Sometimes circumstances interfere. But to answer your question – yes, it was Severus who sent me the warning. He was aware that something was going on for quite some time, but the Death Eaters don't trust him. Because just as you suspected him, the Death Eaters also knew that somebody was passing on information to our side. Lucius Malfoy held him very short on information, but they value his skills too much to completely do without him."

Remus nodded. "That's why the called him to be present at Voldemort's resurrection."

"Indeed. And if they had managed to bring Voldemort back that night, the Dark Lord would have been the one to judge about Severus' integrity.

I had placed a tracking charm on Severus a couple of weeks ago, so that I would be able to locate him in case things got dire, but unfortunately it took some time until we could actually track him down. Lucius Malfoy was very thorough in his preparations, Severus had to change means of transportation more than once."

"I'm just glad that you did come in time."

A slight smile spread around Dumbledore's mouth. "Yes, but your father was certainly not very enthusiastic about having to wait for so long. Only understandable."

Another thought struck Remus.

"Then it was Severus who slipped Janus our wands?"

"Indeed he was. Severus knew that if he got the chance, he had to try and prevent them from resurrecting Voldemort. And slipping the wands back to your brother was the most inconspicuous way to do so, especially as he was sure that there was nothing else he could do short of pointing his own wand at Lucius Malfoy and thus blasting his cover. In all the chaos that resulted afterwards, it was hard enough for the other Death Eaters to try and get things back under their control. They didn't have the time to worry about who slipped Janus the wands then, we will see what comes out of it now."

"So Severus escaped?"

Dumbledore nodded.

"He did not get arrested, no. As soon as the Aurors arrived and the anti-apparition wards were taken down by Lucius Malfoy he apparated to Hogsmeade, then came to the castle immediately. He was actually here by the time Harry, you and your brother were brought here."

"Good. I'll talk to him later, when I'm up and about again."

Remus swallowed hard and tried to force himself to calm a bit. Of course he had needed to know under which circumstances exactly they had been able to escape, but there was one thing that was nagging at him far more intensely. A question he needed an answer to, but he dreaded what kind of answer it would be. For five years he had tried to live with a truth that was extremely hard to bear, and now that he had finally come to terms with the betrayal that had taken place in his circle of friends everything he had believed in seemed to be turned upside down again.

"Albus", Remus swallowed again and forced his voice to sound less shaky than it did just now, "what about Peter and Sirius? Ever since I've woken up the question how they fit into all this has been nagging at me and I can't come up with an answer." Tears threatened to fill his eyes but Remus blinked them away.

"Why is Peter still alive?"

Dumbledore's gaze unfocussed for a moment, and when he looked at Remus there was a deep sadness in his blue eyes.

"He isn't."

Remus closed his eyes and bit his lip, waiting for his former headmaster to explain. An aching feeling started to spread in his chest and stomach, the sudden feeling of loss which he could not quite explain. He had lived with the thought of Peter being dead for five years now, had learned to live with the thought that his friend had been killed, but still it seemingly only took one moment of seeing him again – alive and under very strange circumstances – to let all those feelings flare up again.

"He was still alive when he was found in the Riddle House, but whatever happened to him that night drained the life out of him. He died two days later, despite Severus' attempts to find out enough about that rite and the potion to save him. There had never been such a case like his before, and there was simply not enough time to save him. There is still much we don't know and unfortunately those of the Death Eaters who would have been able to explain evaded capture. But Peter definitely was alive until a couple of days ago, which means that something of what we thought to be the truth about the night Voldemort fell does not add up."

Remus nodded. "The part where Sirius killed Peter and all those muggles."

"Yes. The muggles are definitely dead, but Peter did not die that night. You know that they never found his body."

"Only his finger, yes. But from all I know, that was no small wonder considering what the scene looked like."

"Peter was missing a finger. Strangely, there was no indication that he suffered from any other serious injury, which I would have expected even if the curse had not killed him. A devastation such as the one that night, it cut off his finger but didn't harm him in any other way? That indeed sounds strange."

Remus considered this for a moment, then he frowned. "Yes, but there's another thing which is worrying me more."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow and Remus continued. "Even if Sirius did not kill Peter that night, then why on Earth should he hide for more than five years? And from whom did he hide? Running away at first I could understand, but why didn't he come to me, or to you?"

"Maybe he was afraid that Sirius would find him and kill him as well."

Dumbledore's tone told Remus immediately that the older man didn't believe in that explanation, either.

"He would have heard about Sirius' capture, there was no way he would not. It was all over the media, everywhere in Great Britain and even beyond. And still, why didn't he come to me or to you for help? Why not tell us that Sirius had tried to kill him and ask for protection? We all knew Peter was no magical match for Sirius, he knew it as well. Why did he vanish for more than five years and the next time he shows up is at a Death Eater assembly the night they try to bring Voldemort back? Even if Voldemort somehow possessed him, it just doesn't make sense."

Dumbledore averted his eyes and shook his head.

"Maybe we should wait with this conversation until you feel better."

Remus quickly shook his head and sat up straighter, not taking his eyes off of Dumbledore. "No, I'm fine, Albus. And I need to know. Now is as good as any moment, especially since Harry is not here now. What is it that you don't want to tell me?"

Dumbledore sighed and shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"Peter carried the Dark Mark."

It felt as if somebody had forcefully punched Remus in the stomach.

"What?"

It wasn't eloquent, it wasn't even necessary for him to hear it repeated, but still Remus thought that maybe he had not heard correctly.  
"On Peter's left forearm was a Dark Mark, just like the one Severus carries. He was a Death Eater."

Remus shook his head vividly. "No, that can't be true. Not Peter. It just doesn't make sense, Albus. Sirius was working for Voldemort, if Peter was also a Death Eater it simply would not make sense. The would have both worked for the same side, then why should Sirius have killed Peter? Or tried to kill him, or whatever...", Remus hesitated as he saw the look in Dumbledore's eyes. He knew what the only possible answer that would clear up his confusion was, but he refused to believe it. It could not be, they could not possibly have been that mistaken. "Albus, if Peter was a Death Eater then...then nothing makes sense. Absolutely nothing we know about that Halloween-night makes sense anymore."

Dumbledore got up from his chair and walked over towards the window. For a long moment he stood there with his arms crossed behind his back and looked out onto the Hogwarts grounds. Remus could only guess what was going on in the older man's mind, nevertheless he felt a sickening feeling in his stomach that the next part of the conversation would reveal something he did not want to hear. Something he already knew, but to hear it spoken aloud would make it true, and then Remus would have to accept the consequences, including facing his own failures.

"The first day after he was found in the Riddle House, Peter was still strong and lucid enough to talk and answer questions", Dumbledore said, his eyes still turned towards the window. Slowly he turned around and looked at Remus. "He was officially interrogated, under Veritaserum. I requested that Cornelius let me be present as a witness, and the Minister agreed."

Remus swallowed, but his throat was dry. "What did he say?"

Dumbledore sank down in his chair again, suddenly looking very old and fragile. There was an expression on his face which Remus had never seen before.

"We were not only wrong about Peter getting killed that night. That was only a small detail we were wrong about, compared to everything else we believed. We were wrong about nearly everything we believed to be the circumstances under which James and Lily got killed."

Remus didn't want to hear what was about to come next, he'd rather stop the conversation, hide in his house for the next couple of years and keep on believing the 'truth' he had learned to live with for so many years now. But Dumbledore continued mercilessly.

"Peter was behind it from the very beginning. He confessed that he became a Death Eater nearly a year before Voldemort fell. He was the one who passed on all the information about James' and Harry's whereabouts, he was supposed to deliver them into Voldemort's hands. Sirius indeed helped him there, but not the way we thought he did."

Remus only raised an eyebrow, feeling too weak to speak.

"Peter said that Sirius approached him after I suggested the Fidelius Charm. Sirius thought it would be the perfect decoy to let everybody believe him to be the Secret Keeper when in fact it was Peter."

"They switched?" Remus didn't recognize his own voice, but he felt the words leave his mouth, his tone unbelieving. They had not told him, Sirius had not told him that, he had never known...

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, they did. Sirius was willing to be the target for any possible Death Eater attempt to locate James' and Harry's location and thought the secret safe with Peter at the same time. He would know nothing, he could tell nothing, no matter what they did to him. He had no idea that with that he only played into Voldemort's hands and Peter could deliver the Dark Lord what he wanted on a silver platter."

"Oh god." Remus was glad that he was sitting in his bed because he didn't know if his legs would have been able to support him anymore. "They never told me. I never knew."

"Nobody did, Remus."

Remus closed his eyes and breathed in deeply a couple of times to stop the world from spinning in front of his eyes.

"What else?"

Dumbledore watched him concernedly for a moment, but then continued.

"Peter gave away the secret to Voldemort on Halloween. About what happened after that he of course could only tell what he knew. Voldemort killed James and Lily, but then vanished as the curse against Harry rebounded on him. The Death Eaters who were present fled the scene. Peter said that he wanted to go into hiding immediately, that he knew it would only be a matter of time until Sirius drew the conclusions and searched him out. But unfortunately for Peter, Sirius was a lot faster than he had anticipated. He cornered him in that street in London.

It's interesting, though I didn't notice it at first either, but Peter stated that Sirius accused him of having killed James, Lily _and_ Harry. That's when he decided to place the blame on Sirius, because after all nobody knew they had switched Secret Keepers. He shouted loudly how Sirius could have done that and then blew up the whole street, including the muggles. He cut off his own finger, changed into a rat and escaped through the sewer. From what it looks like, Sirius didn't kill anybody, it was all Peter's doing."

Remus shook his head, not daring to believe what he had just heard. There were simply too many implications, so much wrong that had been done over the past years if what Dumbledore had just told him was true. A tear was rolling down his cheek, but Remus didn't even realize. If Dumbledore did, he didn't comment on it.  
"But...but Sirius was there, and he was laughing. There were the pictures, the ones in the paper afterwards. Everybody said he was laughing, that he was mad...why didn't he just say it if he didn't kill those people? He was in Azkaban for more than five years, why did he never tell anybody about it? Why?"

"He was never given the chance, Remus. It's a long story, there will be investigations about what happened when he got arrested. Right now I don't know."

Remus was still shaking his head, but then something Dumbledore had said earlier struck him as odd.

"But if Sirius accused Peter of killing Harry...does that mean – does that mean he really thought Harry was killed as well?"

Dumbledore nodded. "From what it looks like, yes. It seems as if Sirius thought Harry died that night as well. Still thinks, from all that I know, though I can't answer the question _why_ he thinks that. Only he can answer that, and his condition is not exactly stable at the moment. It's simply impossible to get a lucid statement out of him."

"Where is he? What happened to him after that night, last time I saw him he was lying bound up against the wall in that chamber..."

"He was still there by the time we arrived. He was taken in Ministry custody again, Cornelius wanted him brought back to Azkaban immediately."

Remus didn't know how much more of that he could take, but he simply needed to know.

"He is back in Azkaban?"

Dumbledore shook his head.

"As I said, Cornelius wanted him to be brought back. But Peter's confession revealed quite a bit about what happened to Sirius after the raid in Azkaban, and so he was brought to St. Mungo's for further examination."

Remus already had the next question on his lips, but Dumbledore seemed to guess so and spared him the effort of putting it into words.

"He has been memory-charmed quite a number of times. It must have started during his Azkaban imprisonment already, and thusly it is impossible right now to tell what he knew about Harry or not, nobody knows as of yet how much of what he says is his own thoughts and how much has been implemented into his brain by some outer force. We only know that somebody started tampering with his memory even before he broke out of Azkaban. But seemingly, five years in the presence of Dementors could not take away Sirius' strength of mind, somehow he evaded the Death Eaters during the raid, escaped on his own, and it took them some time to track him down again. By then they must have realized that he was about to break through the memory-charms, and so they simply added other layers of them. There were so many layers of memory charms on him that even the mind-healers could not clearly tell how many. In addition to that he was under Imperius for a longer stretch of time. Nobody is yet able to say what that did to his mind, but the healers are not very optimistic. There is the chance of a complete recovery, but from what they say it's a slim chance. Else, we'll have to wait and see. It might take some more months until there are results."

"That means he won't get his memory back?"

"Probably not, but as I said, nothing is sure at the moment. Unfortunately that also means he won't be able to tell us anything about what happened to him after the Azkaban raid, not yet. The other Death Eaters who were captured are still being interrogated, but for all that I know nothing has come out of this yet."

"Then", Remus swallowed as his voice broke and Dumbledore gestured for him to take all the time he needed to get his bearings again. With a couple of deep, shuddering breaths, he did. "Then it was Peter who attacked me and kidnapped Harry?"

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair and silently looked at Remus for a moment, just as if he was contemplating whether to tell him or not. He took a deep breath and folded his hands in his lap.

"No, it was not Peter, that much we are sure of. That was Sirius. Under Imperius, and memory-charmed to the brink of a brainwash, but it was Sirius who kidnapped Harry and nearly killed you. To be honest, at the moment I think he actually wanted to kill you, and my guess would be that seeing Harry stirred something inside of him which was unharmed by the curses so far. It was not enough to make him break through the curses, but he got unsure, did not attack you again and instead conjured up dungbombs to hide his trace in case you had survived. But it was Sirius, that much I know as a fact already."

Again, Remus nodded, more slowly this time. He wanted to ask how Dumbledore knew, but he didn't ask now. If he said he knew it, then Remus was sure that he was not lying. There would be a time for that later. What Dumbledore had told him had exhausted him quite a bit, and right now he didn't want to hear anything anymore. Sleep was out of question, though. Not with all those thoughts swirling around in his mind, waiting to be digested.

Dumbledore looked at Remus for a long time, then he got up from his chair.

"I'll ask Madam Pomfrey to bring you a sleeping potion, Remus. You look as if you could do with some sleep now, you'll have enough time to think about everything later. But if I might offer a word of advice, try not to think all that much about it while you are still here in hospital. You still need rest and Harry needs you to be strong for him now. Save the brooding for some time later."

Remus nodded again. "Thank you, Albus. Thanks for being open with me."

"It's quite all right, Remus, I only wished that I could have given you different news, news which would not have turned the beliefs of several years upside down. If you still have questions when you wake up, just let me know. Good night, Remus."

"Good night, Albus."

As the old headmaster left, Remus caught himself thinking that he, too, wished that his world had remained on his normal axis and not spun out of control by what he had gotten to know about Sirius. If everything Dumbledore had said was true, and if they would find out what they needed to know to fill the gaps in their knowledge, then there was no way that Remus could ever forgive himself for believing in his friend's guilt for the murders. He did not even dare to hope for Sirius' forgiveness, even if his former friend ever recovered completely.


	21. Discovering Scars

First chapter of explanations for what happened begins. Again it is long, but I couldn't break it up otherwise.

This one is for Morgan D., with all my best. I think she's been waiting for both the explanations and for the second part of the chapter, and I hope it lives up to her expectations.

Enjoy!

**Discovering Scars**

Four days after he had woken up in the Hogwarts infirmary – and two glorious days after he had left that hell-hole and had returned home to his family, Janus walked down a corridor in the DMLE, deeply lost in his thoughts.

Actually, he shouldn't even be up yet, much less back at his working place already. At least that was what Madam Pomfrey had said, and it was also what his own wife had ordered. Doctors. He had not come here to work, though, and would not for quite some time to come. He had an official leave of sickness for the next four weeks, and for the first time in his life Janus didn't even consider protesting against it. He felt as if he could do with some rest right now. Not physically, though. Wizarding healing methods were very quick and effective in most cases, and despite the fact that his injuries had nearly been fatal Janus felt quite fine again. The wounds had healed nicely, the blood loss had long been compensated and as soon as he was sure that no further problems were about to come from his injuries he'd have the scars erased. Truly, he still felt a little stiff, sometimes his side stung when he made a sudden movement, and he tired more quickly, but that was nothing compared to how shitty he had felt by the first time he had woken up.

Nevertheless, Serena was fretting over him as if he was about to keel over any moment and so he was glad to come out of the house for a couple of hours. If he stayed at home he would only brood too much, and the fact that his father had questioned him repeatedly about what had happened between him and Remus didn't help, either. No, he had needed to get out for the afternoon, only now he wasn't all that sure whether coming here had been such a good idea.

He had spent the past fifteen minutes standing in Ryder's office, listening to his boss' rants about how stupid, irresponsible and generally unacceptable his behaviour in the case of Harry's kidnapping had been. Not to forget unprofessional, that had been Ryder's favourite word in his rant. Janus had stoically listened to him, not once disagreeing or trying to defend himself. He knew it was senseless, he knew that Lucas had probably gotten a far worse lecture already, and he knew that it didn't matter, anyway. At least _that_ was something Ryder had agreed on after Janus had finally seized the possibility to tell his boss what he had come here for.

And now he was walking down the corridor to his own office, not really knowing what to think. Only a couple of weeks ago, the Ministry and the department of Mysteries especially had felt like his second home. He had spent a lot of time here, he knew most of the people who worked here, and he had always had the feeling that he _knew_ what was going on here. Not everything, of course, but a lot of the things that were going on, and surely everything that concerned him and his partner.

But after what he had gotten to know that night in the Riddle House that feeling had vanished completely. His own partner had been working behind his back for months and he had not known it. Janus still didn't understand what exactly had happened, he still needed many answers from his partner, but he was not all that sure whether he truly wanted to hear those answers. There were enough painful things he had to deal with right now – including his own betrayal against his brother – he didn't know whether he could manage anything else.

But still he needed those answers, and he was on his way to get them. Breathing a deep sigh, Janus pushed the door to their secretary's room open and stepped in. He was not in the least surprised to see Maggie sit behind her desk, even though neither Lucas nor he had been in to work for the past days. After all, their cases had been taken away from them and they had not really started on the new ones they had been assigned before they had been brought to the Riddle House. Upon seeing him, Maggie nodded and smiled.

"How are you feeling, Mr. Lupin?"  
Janus shrugged. "All right, thank you. A lot of things can be said about hospitals – and what they say about the food is mostly true – but the drugs are all right." For emphasis, he stabbed his index-finger forcefully into the place where his wound had been. "See? No pain at all." A grin spread across his face as Maggie grimaced as he did that. But he had not come here to tease his secretary.

"Is Lucas in there?"

He pointed at the office door and Maggie nodded. "He came in about an hour ago."

Janus breathed in deeply and walked over towards the door.

"If possible don't patch any calls through for the next time, I need to have a word with him."

Maggie nodded. "Sure, Mr. Lupin."

Lucas was sitting between his desk and the window, his chair leaned back so that it was balancing on its two back legs. Janus' favourite cactus, the one he had thrown against the wall in anger some days earlier, was standing on the windowsill again, its pot repaired. Lucas was levitating a paperweight in the shape of a snake around the ceiling. He didn't turn around as Janus entered, but then again he didn't need to. Janus knew that Lucas head heard him enter, and nobody except from him would enter their office without knocking or announcing themselves.

Janus walked into the room and leaned against his desk, silently watching his partner for a moment. He had not seen Lucas since the night in the Riddle House, but there again no surprise about that. Lucas was probably even more hesitant to enter a hospital than Janus was, especially when he had a choice. Janus didn't think that his partner had ever entered a hospital voluntarily and on his own two feet. Even at times when he had needed to be treated, he had always done his best not to be brought into one. So Janus had not expected him to come for a visit to Hogwarts, or even to his own home, and the fact that he had so easily found his partner in their office showed him that Lucas was not trying to evade him.

"I need some answers, Lucas."

Of course Janus had already drawn his own conclusions about what had happened, but he didn't like the results he had come up with and he needed to hear the truth out of his partner's mouth. And there were some things he still didn't have an answer to. Considering his momentary situation with his brother, some answers were desperately needed here.

Lucas levitated the snake-shaped paperweight back on Janus' desk and slowly turned his chair to face Janus. He didn't seem all that surprised about that request, and Janus had not expected him to be. They were partners, they knew each other better than that. Or so he had thought until a week ago.

"For how long?"

Lucas straightened his chair and began to twirl his wand in his hands, a sure sign that he was nervous.

"I've been trying to get a closer contact for about eleven months before they attacked your brother and took the kid."

Janus nodded and sat down on the chair behind his own desk. He had guessed something like that, though he didn't like the implications.

"So you've been the leak?" His voice rose, even though he tried to keep it level. "You've been the one who passed on all that information? Fuck Lucas, you know what happened in Azkaban, don't you? You've seen what happened to those wardens. Do you want to tell me you can live with that and still have a clear conscience?"

"You know we can't afford it to let our work interfere with our private life."

"Don't give me that shit, Lucas! This is not a Department press conference, you're talking to _me_ here. You've passed on information to the Death Eaters and they raided Azkaban, isn't that so?"

Janus angrily rose from his chair, but Lucas merely watched him calmly.

"No", he simply said.

"Then tell me what the fuck is going on here, because I think I have a right to know!"

Lucas got up from his chair and sat down on the edge of his desk.

"It was official", was all he said at first.

Janus opened his mouth to say something, then he sank back down in his chair and shook his head as if he had not heard right.

"What?"

"It was official", Lucas repeated, then he got up and walked towards the window with a sigh. "Ryder approached me slightly less than a year ago, he told me that there were hints pointing to possible Death Eater activity here in England. He was worried that something might come out of it and asked me to try and re-establish my old contacts carefully. So I did. That was what Malfoy meant when he said I was sticking my nose into their affairs for months."

"And you paid with information for entrance back into their circle!", Janus shouted back. "Information that cost the life of quite a number of lives at Azkaban because you didn't warn anybody of what might happen!"

"No", Lucas repeated calmly, defeatedly even. "No, that's where you're wrong. Yes, I gave away information as a prize to get back into the circles Ryder wanted me in. But it was all _classified_, Janus. Whatever information I passed on, Ryder had to authorize it. There was hardly any leeway I could work with, only in case my life was in danger. And even then it was not much. You know how little the life of an Unspeakable counts here in the Department in those kind of situations."

He turned around so that he was facing Janus, his brown eyes staring into Janus' green-brown ones.

"I never said anything about Azkaban, Janus. I didn't give away any kind of concrete information on the wards, warden schedules or other security measures, and neither did I give away where they could get it from. That wasn't me."

"Then who? How did they know so much about the Azkaban security if you did not tell them?"

Again they locked their gazes. Janus was fairly sure that Lucas was not lying to him, yet there seemed to be too many secrets between them for him to be completely sure.

"When Azkaban was raided, I was just as surprised as you were, believe me. The next thing I did was that I went to Ryder, but he at first refused to see me and then, even as he did, refused to tell me anything. I think he simply didn't know anything either and didn't want to admit it, but he also didn't want me to search around. Probably was afraid that I'd publicly expose the fact that he didn't have any clues to pursue."

"That's why you investigated on your own, without anybody knowing about it." No matter what had happened over the past year that might have driven a wedge between them, Janus was fairly sure he knew Lucas well enough still to be right with this assumption. As if to prove him right, Lucas nodded.

"Yes, and if you had not taken Black's escape all that personally you'd have found out the same thing that I did."

Janus definitely was not in the mood to take those pointed hints, that was why his voice was sharp as he answered.

"And what would I have found out if I had not been worried about my brother's and nephew's safety?"

"Jennings and Capelli."

Janus frowned. Those names struck a chord, and usually he had a good memory for names and faces, but right now his mind was a turmoil of facts, thoughts and feelings and he knew exactly that it would cost him unnecessary time and strength to brood about those names now.

"Who?"

"Jennings and Capelli", Lucas repeated calmly. "The two murder-scenes we investigated before the Azkaban raid, remember?"

Janus nodded. Of course he remembered. Though those two investigations had been pushed into the back of his mind after everything else that had happened. "What do they have to do with it?"

"From what I know, everything. You surely remember that before the cases were closed and Ryder hushed it all up on Fudge's insistence, we didn't know what to make of it all? Two random Death Eater attacks with no traces leading anywhere."

Janus nodded, but another thought struck him at that moment.

"Did you know about the attacks?"

"What?", Lucas frowned, confusion mounting because Janus had torn him out of his line of reasoning.

"Did you know about the attacks? Did you know they were planned, were you there when they happened, did you know anything about them which you did not tell me during the investigation?"  
Lucas stared at Janus for a long moment, looking as if he was waiting for Janus to tell him that he was joking. But Janus didn't. Slowly, Lucas shook his head.

"No, I did not know anything about the attacks. I wasn't told anything of importance, I didn't even have contact with people like Malfoy. It took me more then five months to get into a regular contact with the outer circles again, as far as they still existed. I wasn't as much trading information as I was giving it away for free, to prove my loyalty and my rank at the Ministry. It's not like back when I got initiated, they are extremely careful nowadays. Malfoy makes sure of that. So I didn't know anything before the attacks happened, and I didn't dare to ask too many questions afterwards."

Janus nodded. He believed Lucas, there was no sense for his partner to lie now.

"Can I come back to what I was trying to explain earlier?"

Again Janus nodded. "Sure. Jennings and Capelli. We didn't know what to make of it during the investigation, and to be honest I still don't know what to make of it."

"Then let me explain. Basically, we were just plain stupid. Blind. Unprofessionally overwhelmed by what happened in Azkaban and its implications. Call it whatever you like, but we should have seen it."

"Could you finally stop beating about the bush and say what you found out? Because I'm not in the mood for lengthy guessing games, you know?", Janus growled.

"When we investigated the Jennings and Capelli cases, we did the usual check-up, you know that. Age, profession, any reason why the victims could have attracted what happened to them. And we came to the conclusion that their muggle-connections might be the reason. One muggle-born witch and a muggle-wizard couple including their in-laws. We were wrong about that, I know that now. But then Ryder had the cases closed and the Azkaban raid came in between. Black escaped, you worried about your brother's security, Ryder was pressuring me to find out more about where the escaped prisoners went to, so nobody of us thought to connect the three cases. Though they're obviously connected."

Janus shrugged. "Two Death Eater attacks and a raid by Death Eaters. Of course they're connected, where's the news in that?"

"I found a couple of notes in my desk a couple of days ago. Notes I took early in the Jennings and Capelli investigations. Nothing really important as it seemed, actually I had completely forgotten about them, that's why I didn't put them in the case-files as Ryder had them brought to the archive. At first I wanted to throw the parchments away, there didn't seem to be anything on them worth keeping, but when I read them again something clicked. I wanted to tell you immediately, but you decided to break my wrist, kick me into my private parts and had the entire cavalry arriving instead, if you remember."

Janus only waved his hand impatiently, signalling that his patience was wearing thin and that Lucas should better be getting to the point soon.

"I found some general notes I made on the Jennings and Capelli cases. Age, family status, where they were working and so on. And that's when it struck me. Marcus Jennings was working in the Ministry main archive."

He said that as if it would explain everything, but Janus only frowned. He thought for a moment.

"I remember. But what is that supposed to tell me? I mean, it would not have helped the Death Eaters any to torture somebody from the archive for information, they don't know anything of importance. They keep the files, but nobody could find anything about the Azkaban wards or remotely important information there. Not without knowing where they're kept and how to get them. All files about Azkaban except from those about the prisoners are kept separately, you know that. It's nearly impossible to get any information about Azkaban if you're not working in the respective offices or have a permission by Fudge or McKinley himself."

He got up from his chair and started walking the room up and down, caught up in his thinking.

"How about that other case, the family? If I remember right the wife was a witch, and the other victims were her muggle husband and her muggle in-laws. Parents and grand-uncle, something like that."

Lucas nodded.

"How does that one tie in? I mean, obviously the muggles were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. But what about Mrs. Capelli? I don't remember her working at the Ministry at all, that would not fit to what you're trying to tell me."

"I wasn't sure about Capelli at first, I have to admit. As you said, it didn't fit. Laura Capelli was working as a secretary at the school-governors board. But I had the feeling that something was not adding up, so I dug around a bit. And guess what I found out?"

Janus shrugged. "Tell me."

"She had only been working at the governors board for three months. And now venture a guess where she was working before?"

"The DMLE?"

Lucas nodded.

Janus shook his head.

"I don't remember anybody here going by the name of Capelli. Not now and not three months ago. I'm the first to admit that I have trouble remembering every secretary's face, there are just too many of them, but I'm sure I never heard the name Capelli before."

"What about Laura Stevenson?"

Janus stopped his pacing and stared at his partner with wide eyes.

"Wasn't she McKinley's secretary?"

Lucas nodded. "Exactly the one. She married three and a half months ago, therefore the change of name. She wasn't here long, only eight weeks before she quit. Didn't get along with McKinley, from what the file says. Our dear governor of Azkaban seems to have a tendency to hit on his secretaries, as it seems."

Janus didn't even want to know how Lucas had gotten hold of Laura Stevenson's personal file, he didn't really want to know. It might be better if he didn't.

"And now it suddenly adds up. Jennings and his wife get attacked and killed. Why, I don't know. Maybe some of the Death Eaters had false information, maybe they were convinced that a Ministry archivist would know about the Azkaban wards and where to get the information on how to bring them down. Maybe they only wanted to get out of him who would know about the wards, I don't know. And two nights later, Capelli and her family get tortured and killed. Capelli wasn't working long for McKinley, but as his personal secretary she simply had to know the procedures. How to get to the codes to take down the Azkaban wards, for example. After all, she witnessed the procedure every morning, she knew the details. So let's just assume that she gave away the details about the wards and the codes, then it would have been fairly easy for the Death Eaters to plan a way to get them. The Azkaban raid was a couple of days after the last murder, enough time to make a plan. And no attack took place after the raid, just as if they had served a purpose and now were no longer necessary."

Lucas stretched his back and sank down in his chair again.

"It's the only thing that makes sense, Janus. I've always said that the DMLE is too trusting. Everybody in our department knows bits about Ministry procedures we're not supposed to know. This is prison security, nobody except from McKinley and the wardens should have known."

Janus shook his head.

"The ones who code the wards always know, the secretaries always know, you can't prevent that. If not, McKinley would be taking care of the wards for the entire day and would not get anything else done."

But that didn't bother him at the moment. It made sense indeed, but Janus didn't know whether he cared about that anymore. What he did care about was something completely else, and he quickly found his anger rising.

"You should have told me, Lucas. Fuck, you've had eleven months to tell me, no matter what Ryder said. A lot of things would not have happened if you had only told me the truth!"

Lucas crossed his legs and sighed again.

"I could not, Ryder specifically forbid me to involve you into it. This was not a mission for which I needed a partner, having you know about it would have only made it far more complicated. And I know you would have done just the same in my position. Just because in the end your personal involvement gained the upper hand does not mean that all our rules and regulations are wrong all of a sudden."

Janus shook his head and both men lapsed into silence for a long time. A lot of things made sense now. Not everything, of course, but the things Lucas could help him clear up were forming a sharp image in Janus' mind now. And he knew that he had made the right choice earlier.

Janus looked at Lucas – who met his gaze squarely – for another long moment before he spoke again.

"I've spoken to Ryder earlier today", he finally broke the silence. Lucas nodded as if he was already guessing what was about to come next.

"I'm taking a leave of absence, another four weeks in addition to the four for which the doctors declared me unable to work. I need that time to get back on my feet and get my whole family affairs back under control. Serena and Julia won't be sad to have me with them more often, either. And there's a lot I have to think through before I can even think about going back to work."

"Like whether you can still work together with a partner who kept you in the dark and who downright lied to you for nearly a year."

There was no accusation in Lucas' tone, it was merely a statement. Janus shook his head.  
"The answer to that question is surprisingly clear – no, I can't. We both know that we can't work together if we can't trust each other completely, and after all that happened that's simply no longer the case. The thing with being partners and friends at the same time simply doesn't work out, we should have known. And for me the main question right now rather is whether I can still work in the Department under those conditions."

"Sounds as if you had already made that decision as well."

Janus shrugged. "Maybe, I don't know yet. It's still all going around in my head and I need some more time to get it clear for myself."

He got up from his chair, gave a crooked smile and turned towards the door. "You see, a lot of unresolved issues and a lot to think about. And you know how it is – there's nothing more dangerous..."

"...than an Unspeakable who doesn't have his mind on the case", Lucas finished the old saying in the Department for him. "I'm still convinced that Ryder's got that one in a framed embroidery somewhere in his office."

"Lower left-hand drawer of his desk, right behind the photograph of his wife." A smile stole across Janus' face. It was surprisingly easy to fall back into their old behaviour towards each other, just as if the past weeks had not happened at all. But he knew that there was no way they could go back to their old working relationship after that, the lacking trust between them would rear its ugly head again as soon things got tough for the first time. There was too much at stake for him to risk that.

The two men looked at each other for quite some time. 

"I'll give you a call, all right?" Inwardly, Janus sighed loudly. Merlin, this was like breaking up with a girlfriend. Or even worse.

Lucas nodded. "Sure. We might get an internal investigation at our throats for the whole catastrophe this case turned into, but Ryder said he'd do whatever he could to stop them from firing us."

Janus had expected the investigation, though he had not really brooded over it for long. And he really didn't care about it at the moment. Something else had him far more worried.

"What about Remus' custody case?"

Lucas frowned, seemingly surprised. "They're re-evaluating?"

"Not that I've heard. But I've spent a bit of time thinking about it and started worrying. From how they see it – and keep in mind that they did everything to keep Remus from getting the custody anyway – he lost the hope of the wizarding world to the Death Eaters and nearly allowed the child to get killed in their attempt to bring Voldemort back. Though they conveniently forgot to mention that the Death Eaters nearly had to kill Remus to get to Harry in the first place. I'm worried that they'll take this as a justification to re-evaluate the case and take Harry away from him."

Janus growled lowly, but Lucas merely watched him with an analyzing expression on his face which Janus could not completely identify.

"I'll see what I can find out about it, but I'm sure that they'd have already taken the kid if they were intending to discuss the custody again. Fudge knows he's up against Dumbledore on this one, he'll be careful about what he does. He depends too much on the old man's help, and if he started acting against Remus he'd inevitably have to start acting against Dumbledore as well. But I'll call in a couple of favours, see what I can find out."

Janus nodded. "Thank you, Lucas."

"No problem. How's Remus?"

"He woke up yesterday, and from what Dad told me he's already well on the mend. Harry was extremely glad that he finally woke up, though."

"How is the kid holding up?"

Janus shrugged. "Great, considering that he's a seven year old. He doesn't really understand the full impact of what happened to him, though. But it'll take some time till he's completely over it. He's a handful when he's clingy, that much I can tell you."

"It'll pass."

"Let's hope so, Remus is not at his best either. That Harry is so disturbed and scared seems to pull him down as well."

Again Janus shrugged. He didn't really want to pursue that line of conversation any longer. It would only lead to an exchange of platitudes, and next thing they'd be talking about the weather.

"We'll be in touch."

He turned towards the door to leave the room when Lucas' voice interrupted him once more.

"You know what?"

Janus turned once more from where he was heading towards the door and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I'd be surprised to see you working for the Department again."

"Why's that?"

"Aside from the whole issue about trusting your partner, you've changed too much from how you were when you came here."

Janus frowned and leaned against the doorframe, awaiting his partner's explanation.

"You were one of the best rookies we had when you came from France. Extremely talented, no scruples and the will to bend the rules. Devil may care, just what it needs to work in that Department. But that lasted only as long as you didn't care."

Janus was about to interrupt, but Lucas waved him off. "No, it's true. You didn't give a damn about the danger your job put you into, you didn't have anything to lose and that's why you were willing to take any risk. But somehow over the past years you've allowed yourself to care about others. You've gotten yourself a wife and a kid, you've let your brother and father closer to you. You started to care, and suddenly you had a lot to lose. It makes you think about what you do, you reflect too much about it. And maybe you'll start hesitating, maybe you won't immediately be willing to take drastic means where you would not have hesitated a couple of years ago. I know that, and I know you know it as well. You're too responsible to take that kind of danger any longer. It has happened before, the Department of Mysteries is hardly a place for family persons."

Janus smiled slightly.  
"And only a couple of years ago I'd have cursed you for even daring to call me a family person."

"But now you don't. Could it be that I'm right?"

"I don't like to admit it, and I'm sure you'll never let me live it down, but I think what you said has some truth in it."

Lucas threw his hands into the air in mock praise for whatever deity was responsible for this small wonder. "I knew it! I knew that one day he'd say it, and it only took him a couple of years! My life finally has a new meaning."

Janus only shook his head and tried to suppress his smile.

"Bye Lucas."

Janus left the room. Outside, he passed Maggie's desk with a smile, feeling that at least a little bit of the weight had been taken from his shoulders. The brooding would come later. He was only wondering why the thing about 'no hard feelings' seemed so easy with Lucas and yet was so bloody difficult with his own brother.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

On Madam Pomfrey's insistence, Remus spent another night in the Hogwarts infirmary after he had woken up, something that didn't stick all too well with him. Of course he could have gotten himself released any moment, after all he was no longer a student at the school, but he had not forgotten his father's threat of tying him to the bed until he was declared completely healed. His father was just the man to pull such a threat through, and Remus would rather not experience something as humiliating as that. But he didn't enjoy spending the night there, because it left him with too much time to think. At home he would have been able to distract himself, he could have looked after Harry who was now staying with his grandfather, or he could have tried to catch up with the bookkeeping of the store, anything that would distract him from thinking about Sirius and Peter.

There had been no news when Dumbledore had visited him again later that evening, neither about Sirius nor about Peter, nothing that would have helped Remus clear up the turmoil of five years that was raging in his mind. Though if he was honest, his thoughts had circled about a couple of very simple thoughts for nearly the entire night, until he had fallen into an exhausted sleep in the early morning hours.

If Peter has been a Death Eater, no – if Peter had been _the_ Death Eater, the one who had been betraying the Order and its members to Voldemort, then it could not have been Sirius. Peter had betrayed their cause, Peter had betrayed James and Lily, had orphaned Harry and had killed those twelve muggles in the London street. Sirius had not betrayed anybody. Sirius had not killed anybody. Sirius had been innocently imprisoned for five years. In Azkaban, the worst place in the entire wizarding world. And Remus had done nothing to help him, had not once doubted his friend's guilt. On the contrary, he had only thought about his former friend in loathing, had wished him an even worse fate and harsher torture than what Azkaban had put him through. Not once, not for one single moment, had he thought about what had happened under a different light. Not once had he tried to find a different explanation, one that would have explain the events of that fateful Halloween differently. He had been so quick to throw everything he knew about Sirius Black overboard, he had so willingly accepted the official explanations the Ministry had provided. How could he have been so blind? Merlin, what had he done?

Remus' sleep had not been restful or deep, those few hours he had grabbed after dawn had already begun creeping into the Hogwarts infirmary, and thusly his mood had not been at its best when Madam Pomfrey had woken him up at seven in the morning for another examination. Remus had never been able to understand why she could not perform them at a more humane time, but there was too much going on in his mind already for him to bother about that.

By the time his father had come for a visit at half past eight Remus had already received a clean bill of health by the school nurse, which meant he was allowed to leave Hogwarts that day provided that he gave himself enough rest for the next couple of days. Remus was glad about it, that gave him the chance to look after Harry, at home in a familiar environment. He only hoped that it was that still for Harry, that was one thing they needed to talk about. After all, the child had been kidnapped straight from his own room, and he had probably seen what Sirius had done to him downstairs in his study. If Harry didn't feel safe in his home anymore, he would have to find out and do something against it.

Before he left, however, Remus found himself feeling like a small and underage child again. Madam Pomfrey asked Richard into her office where the two remained for about five minutes, and though he could not hear anything Remus knew exactly that the nurse once more stressed how important rest was for Remus right now, making sure that his father had an eye on him once he was out of her clutches. It would have been sweet to see her worrying for him like that, but Remus didn't know if he could stand to have a fretting father as his constant companion for the next couple of days.

But all those thoughts vanished from his mind as soon as he stepped out of the fireplace in his house and found Harry running towards him, hugging him fiercely as if he didn't want to let go ever again. Remus crouched down and picked his godson up, carrying him over towards the sofa where he sank down with Harry in his arms. From the corner of his eyes he saw Serena coming into the room from the direction of the kitchen. He didn't know how much his sister-in-law knew about what had happened between Janus and him, but he guessed it was not much. He just could not picture Janus telling it to her. But still she too must have realized that something had happened between the two brothers, and Remus found that he didn't quite know how to confront her now. They had always gotten along very well with each other, but Janus was her husband. Remus didn't really want to pull her into their problems to top it all.

But still Remus was glad that it was Serena and not Janus who had babysat Harry while Richard had been away. Meeting his brother again was something he'd rather put off for as long as he could. First he would have to get Harry through his distress, then he needed to make up his mind about what had happened. Then he could contemplate facing Janus again. From what he guessed right now, that should be in about a couple of months. Maybe a year. As far as Remus was concerned, he was in no hurry.

But right now he pushed those thoughts from his mind, and after a quick smile at Serena which she returned, Remus focussed his attention solely on the clingy and still extremely traumatized child in his arms.

A week later, Remus had settled into his normal life again, into a daily rhythm that revolved only around Harry and how to make him comfortable. It had surprised Remus to see that Harry did not seem to have any problems with returning to the place from where he had been kidnapped. On the contrary, during the short periods when he was not following his godfather wherever he went, he stayed in his room as if it was the sole safe haven for him in the house.

But that did not mean Harry was his old self again. A lot of things had changed, and all that hurt Remus to see. The child was more silent than before, withdrawn from everybody close to him. He spoke when somebody talked to him, but he hardly started talking to anybody – about anything – on his own. That was a huge difference to how the child had been before, Harry had always been an active child who was constantly talking excitedly, showing and telling his godfather everything he considered worth mentioning. But no longer so. He also didn't show a lot of interest to meet his friends again, especially not if that meant to go over to their place and not stay at home. Richard, Serena and Janus visited him either daily or every other day, Eric and David as well as Claire and Martin had dropped by and even Albus Dumbledore had come to visit him twice. Whenever Janus was around, Remus did his best to make himself scarce, otherwise he hardly left Harry's side.

There were small changes though, small hints that it was slowly getting better, but Remus could already tell that it would take another couple of months before Harry would be over this. But he didn't cry that often anymore, he did not cling to Remus all the time, he had slowly taken up an interest in his old past-time activities again. Though the pictures he drew were more serious and less colourful than before he seemed to gain some of his old enthusiasm back. The day before, he had been flying for the first time since the kidnapping and as soon as his feet had left the ground Remus had seen all the tension and worries vanish from his face. For thirty minutes Remus had been able to relax, if he had not known better he could have imagined that the past two weeks had not happened at all. At that moment Remus had decided to let the child fly for as much as he wanted. If it only helped.

So far, Remus had been successful in avoiding any confrontation with his older brother, he had even avoided thinking about Janus and what had happened between them. As soon as his thoughts touched that topic, all the hurt, pain and rejection flared up again, and that was something he could not deal with just now. So when Janus came to see Harry, Remus always found an excuse to lock himself up in his study until he left again. And he told himself that he was quite content with that situation. If he didn't face it, it could not hurt him. But despite all his anger Remus was grateful that his brother dropped by to visit Harry. He knew how much Harry treasured those visits, and from the few glimpses he had gotten at Janus Remus knew very well that his brother was far from being physically fine again. No small wonder, considering that he had knocked on death's door only a couple of days ago. But as thankful as he was that Janus had survived, he didn't need to see him, not yet.

That was why he was not in the slightest prepared when the bomb dropped, a week after he had returned home. It was half past seven in the evening and he stood in the kitchen, preparing dinner for himself and his father. Richard had been flying with Harry for nearly the entire afternoon and the child had been thoroughly exhausted, so Remus had put him to bed early in the hope that he would sleep through the night.

Remus was standing at the kitchen counter, stirring around in a bowl when Richard came into the kitchen behind him.

"Janus will be coming over later."

Remus spun around so quickly that he spilled half the contents of the bowl in his hand to the floor.

"What? May I ask why?"

"I asked him to come over. I thought the two of you needed to talk. And Serena has problems restraining him to his bed, anyway, no matter that the doctors advised him to rest for another couple of days."

Well, at least Richard was being honest with him, though gratitude was not the strongest feeling Remus had at that moment. He placed the bowl onto the kitchen counter with a bit more force than necessary, angrily shaking his head.

"Stop meddling, Dad. I don't want him to come over, why don't you call him up and tell him just that, all right?"

"I'm sure Harry would want him here..."

"But maybe _I_ don't!" Only when he saw Richard flinch at his words did Remus realize that he had raised his voice. He breathed in deeply and shook his head again. "Can you do me the favour not to talk about it? If Janus comes here, he can simply go home again and I for one don't really want to talk about all this anymore."

Richard got up from his chair and walked over to where his son was standing. Remus might have been twenty-eight years old by now, but as he looked at his father's face now he felt again as if he was ten years old and was in for a lengthy lecture. Without really realizing it he made a small step backwards and avoided looking into Richard's eyes.

"Remus", Richard said imploringly, his eyes asking his son to answer the question, "what happened between Janus and you? One moment everything was all right between you and now you don't even want to see him. This is going on for long enough now, for over a week you two have been avoiding each other. What happened?"

"Except from the fact that you're wrong and nothing ever truly was 'all right' between Janus and me? Except from being kidnapped and nearly killed, you mean? Except from the fact that my whole world was turned upside down more than once in a matter of hours and I maybe need some time alone to deal with it?"

"What happened?", Richard repeated. Remus felt anger rise up in him, anger that his father would not leave him alone, anger that he had invited Janus over without asking him first, anger that he always tried to meddle with their affairs and to mend things that were too torn to ever be mended. He tried to storm past Richard and out of the kitchen, but his father made a quick step towards the side and stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Remus, I finally want to know what is going on between you and your brother, and I surely will not allow you to run away from me now! The way you two have been behaving during the past days is not exactly easy to bear. I've just had enough worries during the past weeks, I could do with some rest. So what happened between Janus and you?"

"You want to know what happened? Fine!" Remus exasperatedly spread his arms for emphasis. "You want to know what happened between Janus and me? He pointed his wand at me. Janus threatened me with his wand because he believed that I was involved with those Death Eaters! We nearly got all killed – _Harry_ nearly got killed – because Janus didn't trust me. Never did, and never will. So, now you know, do you feel better now?"

Richard stared blankly at his son, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly while he was shaking his head. He made a step towards his son but Remus moved away from him.  
"Remus, what..."  
"No Dad, please just leave me alone now. I don't want to see Janus now or anytime soon, please understand that and stop trying to turn us into something we simply aren't."

"Remus..."

Remus sighed wearily and shook his head. "Dad, please. Please just let that all rest until I am ready to even think about it. I don't want to spend my little strength fighting, I really need it for Harry and myself right now."

Richard watched his son for a long moment, then he nodded hesitantly.

"All right, if you think."

Remus nodded.

"Yes, I do." He didn't meet Richard's eyes, though. Remus was very well aware how much his father had worried throughout the last few weeks, how much everything that had happened had hurt him. But as much as Remus loved his father and as much as he was thankful for everything he had done for him, Remus simply could not talk about all this now.

After another moment of tense silence in the room, Richard turned his gaze away from his son and turned towards the door.

"I'll come over again tomorrow if that's all right with you. I promised Harry to go flying with him again."

"Of course it's all right." Remus gave his father a brief hug, they said their goodbyes, then Richard went into the living room and flooed home. Remus sank into a kitchen chair and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. Of course his father was right, he would have to talk to Janus sooner or later, but he still preferred later. The more he thought about everything that had happened – and he thought about it at lengths every evening when he tossed and turned in his bed and could not find any sleep – the more he became aware that he didn't really want to have the upcoming conversation with Janus. He dreaded it, dreaded what their relationship would look like after that talk, because he knew that it would hardly get any better than it was now. And it wasn't really good to begin with.

With a sigh Remus got up and made himself some tea. There would be enough time for him to brood about everything later that day, now he needed to catch up on a lot of things. Claire had taken care of the store for the past weeks, and Remus would certainly not go to work for at least another week the way things looked now, but without his help there were too few people in the store to keep up with everything. So when Claire had dropped by again yesterday evening Remus had only too willingly agreed to do the bookkeeping for the time during which nobody had found the time to do so.

With a pot of tea and a sandwich Remus settled on the living room sofa with two stacks of parchment in front of him. Harry was asleep and probably would be for another couple of hours. Remus by now didn't dare to hope that he would sleep through the night without interruption anymore, not after all the nightmares Harry had had since he had been kidnapped. But still, those books would keep his mind off things before Harry woke up again.

An hour later Remus was still sitting on the sofa, so absorbed in all the bookkeeping that his earlier conversation with his father had completely slipped his mind again. That was why he was extremely startled when suddenly the fireplace in front of him activated, indicating that somebody was about to floo through. Remus knew that most probably no attacker would chose the noisy way through the fireplace, especially since it was very well protected, but still he got up from the sofa and drew his wand. Just to make sure, he would not take any chances where Harry's safety was concerned. Never again.

He immediately sheathed his wand again however as he saw just who had arrived in his living room, turned around and suppressed a curse. He should have known that his father would not tell Janus to stay away, he should have known. The man was simply too stubborn to do something like that, and convinced as he was that his two sons needed to talk it was no small wonder that he had not cancelled Janus' visit. Remus should have known, he should have blocked the fireplace just after his father had left. Not that this would have stopped his brother from apparating and walking the remaining distance, though, but it would have been a way to let Janus know straight away that he was not welcome here at the moment.

Janus stepped out of the fireplace just as Remus put his wand away again and made a hesitant, timid step into the room. They had not really spoken to each other ever since that night in the Riddle House, nothing more than short greetings at the beginning of each of Janus' visits. Of course Janus had seen Harry every other day, but then Remus had done his best to avoid any confrontation with his brother. Under any other circumstances seeing his brother this timid and also a bit nervous would have made Remus laugh, but right now he didn't particularly feel like laughing. Instead, he turned towards the kitchen door without looking at Janus' face.

"You can just as well turn around and floo back home now. I told Dad to call you up and tell you not to come, but obviously he conveniently forgot about it. Good Bye, Janus."

Remus walked back into the kitchen but he knew that Janus had not flooed back home because he did not hear the fireplace activate again. Well, he should have known. When it came to stubbornness, Janus was every bit their father's son. He had the inborn ability to ignore everything that could keep him from reaching an aim once he had settled on something. Remus, too, could be like that, though he would have denied it had anybody told him that.

In the kitchen, he turned around and leaned against the counter, watching as Janus came into the room behind him. He carefully raised his hands.

"All right, as you obviously didn't understand me I'll try again, in simpler terms this time. _Go_ _home_, Janus. Do I have to draw you a picture?"

But Janus only shook his head and stepped fully into the kitchen. He half-sat on, half-leaned against the kitchen table, crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked at Remus. Despite his self-confident posture, there was a somewhat timid expression on his face which Remus was not used to seeing there. Since their captivity in the Riddle House and the fight against the Death Eaters, the two brothers had not spoken to each other anymore, and Remus felt strangely gleeful as he realized that the past days had left their marks on his brother's face. Janus looked older, more tired and a lot more tense then it had been normal for him before everything had happened. There were some lines on his face telling about the pain he had been in and most probably still was in. Remus didn't know from which dark recess inside of him that gleeful feeling about this had emerged, but the fact that he somehow enjoyed seeing his brother in distress sickened him nearly as much as it entertained him.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"I had thought as much, but when I told you to leave I thought you would understand that _I_ maybe _don't_ want to talk to you."

"Remus, please..."

Remus shook his head vividly. "I said no. Can't you just for once in your life accept that other people might have a say in things as well?"

Janus didn't respond, he merely watched his brother for a long moment with a strange expression in his eyes. Remus didn't know exactly what to make of it, but as he was glaring at Janus anyway he didn't waste all that many thoughts on it. Finally, Janus uncrossed his arms and leaned his hands on the table.

"Remus, it can't go on the way it is now, we need to talk about what happened."

"Do we? Do we really need to talk about what happened? Well, Harry got kidnapped, we got trapped and nearly killed, you pointed your wand at me because you thought I was a Death Eater trying to kill my godson. That's what happened, we talked about it, can you go home now?"

"No. Listen Remus, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for everything that happened."

Remus didn't respond, and after a moment the silence became too uncomfortable for Janus to bear.

"I've been an idiot, all right? Doubting you was the single most stupid thing I could come up with, and right now I can't understand myself anymore. I'm really sorry."

Remus watched him silently for some moments longer, then he shook his head and turned his eyes to the floor.

"That's it?"

Janus frowned. "What do you mean?"

Remus became angry faster than he had ever become angry before.

"What I mean", he all but shouted, "is that you stand here and tell me you're sorry as if that would make everything undone again! But you are obviously unaware that sometimes 'sorry' simply isn't enough!"

Janus opened his mouth to reply something, but Remus cut him off with a quick and angry gesture. "People say they're sorry when they accidentally bump into somebody! People say they're sorry when they crash somebody else's broom! And then it's okay, but sometimes there are situations when it's simply not okay.

Janus, you pointed your _wand_ at me. Your wand. You were willing to believe I was a Death Eater, or at least that I was working on their side. You were willing to believe that I would sell you out to them. That I would sell _Harry_ out to them! And you seemed more than ready to hurt me because of that, to subdue me by force, for Merlin's sake! '_I'm sorry_' doesn't even begin to be enough here, and it's rather sad that you don't seem to see that! So could you please go now?"

"So that's it?", Janus shot back. "You just expect me to get out of your sight and that's it? Remus, just by ignoring me your life won't jump back onto its axis again! What about Harry, do you want to keep me away from him as well?"

Janus didn't like to admit to himself how much the mere thought hurt. Janus loved Harry, he didn't want to be excluded from his life. Worry seized hold of Janus as he realized that he could not tell what Remus wanted from him. He did not know his own brother well enough to say if he wanted to keep him out of Harry's life or not. And that was the core of their problem, wasn't it? The fact that he didn't know his own brother well enough to fully trust him had made him raise his wand at him in the first place.

Merlin, was he really such a failure when it came to personal relationships?

"You just don't understand it, do you?" Remus spoke softly, but there was an underlying tone of menace in his voice. Janus nearly flinched as he saw the look in his brother's eyes.

"Don't understand what?", Janus shot back, not caring that he was about to admit defeat.

"This here is neither about you nor me, not anymore. It's about Harry, about his wellbeing and nothing else. Harry loves you, he positively adores you. Do you think I would hurt him by cutting you out of his life? I. Would. Never. Hurt. Harry! What is it that makes this so hard for you to understand?"  
Janus opened his mouth to reply something, anything that would come to his mind spontaneously, but loud cries from upstairs interrupted any idea about replying to his brother's last remark.

"_Remus!__ Remus! Noooo!"_

Without wasting another glance at Janus, Remus immediately turned towards the door, hurried out of the kitchen and upstairs from where Harry's cries had come. He reached his godson's room in record time and opened up the door. He had expected Harry's nightmares to return like they did every night, though just like every night he had hoped that his godson would be spared from them. He didn't like to put Sleeping Spells on Harry, and Sleeping Potions were far too addictive to give them to a seven year old child. And so Harry unfortunately had to go through this ordeal over and over again.

Remus was not overly surprised to see Harry sitting up in his bed, all pale and shaken, his knees drawn up to his chest and tears running down his face. Remus was not surprised, but his heart clenched all the same in his chest. He simply could not stand to see his godson in pain.

In no time Remus hurried to Harry's bedside, sat down next to the shivering child and lifted him on his lap, holding him tightly.

"Remus", Harry sobbed, and buried his face in Remus' neck. Remus tightened his arms around the shaking boy and soothingly ran his hand through Harry's hair and along his back.

"Shhh, sweetheart. It's all right, you're back home and nobody's here to harm you. It's only been a bad dream."

Harry's sobbing didn't lessen and his shaking didn't subside either, but Remus knew that it was a matter of time until the child calmed down again. The fact that Harry was at least trying to sleep in his own bed again was already an improvement, the first few days after they had left the hospital he had flat out refused to spend the nights in another room than Remus. Of course Remus had had nothing against Harry sleeping in his bed, but he also knew that sooner or later Harry would have to sleep in his own room again. By now Harry already spent most nights in his own bed again, depending on when the nightmares occurred. Of course Remus always hurried to his godson's side to soothe when that happened, but if it was late and he had already been asleep himself, Remus merely picked him up and carried him over to his own bed. But today Harry had only been asleep for a bit more than an hour, that could become a bit more difficult.

"Shhh, pup", he repeated into Harry's ear and pressed a kiss onto his messy hair. From the corner of his eyes Remus saw Janus come into the room and sit down next to them.

Harry's sobbing was gradually becoming less, but Remus felt that he was still extremely tense and far from sleeping in again anytime soon.

"Don't let them take me again, Remus. Don't let the bad men take me again."

Remus bit his lip against the sudden pain that seemed to clench his heart together.

"I won't. I promise you I won't let anybody harm you again. I'm here and I'll take care of you, all right?"

Harry nodded shakily but didn't let go off Remus' neck. Gently, Remus rocked him back and forth and lowly hummed a lullaby into his ear. He didn't really pay any attention to his brother and thus didn't see the pained and helpless expression on Janus' face. Not that he would have cared all that much at the moment, his sole concern was for Harry. After a slight hesitation Janus stretched out his hand and stroke through Harry's hair and along his back, acting every bit as if he was expecting Remus to send him out of the room any moment now.

It took nearly half an hour until Harry had stopped crying completely and was only shaking ever so slightly. Janus knew that soon Harry would be sleeping again, though for how long would be anybody's guess. He stroke over the child's head once more, bent over and pressed a kiss on the messy black hair, then he got up from the bed, intending to give Harry and Remus a little time for themselves so that his brother could put Harry back into bed again.

Janus quietly left the room and went downstairs into the kitchen where he absent-mindly put some water onto the stove and pulled two cups out of the cupboard. Normally, Janus just like his father had kept his French roots and would prefer a coffee over a tea any time, but he was long married to a British woman by now. And maybe what people said was right and tea had a calming effect on people. He could definitely do with a somewhat calmed down Remus now.

Remus came down again maybe ten minutes later, running his hands wearily through his hair and over his face. All the exhaustion of the past days – or rather past weeks – could clearly be seen on his face, but Janus knew that his brother would not accept any help from him even if he offered it. Janus wordlessly placed a cup of tea in front of him and took his own cup over to the counter, leaning against it instead of sitting down on a chair.

"Harry is asleep again?"

Remus only nodded with a very weary sigh.

"Is it that bad every night?"

Remus closed his eyes and nodded, and when he looked up his eyes already told Janus everything he needed to know.

"Yes, though it's already gotten better. He at least tries to sleep in his own bed every night. But the nightmares are the same, it doesn't happen often that he sleeps through a night." He shrugged helplessly. "It'll take a lot of time to get him through this. But maybe you understand now why I simply don't have the strength to fight with you on top of everything."

"Remus..."

Remus only shook his head.

"No, Janus. Not here, not now. I can understand that Dad wants us to talk and will go any lengths for it, but he simply doesn't understand that there is nothing that any talking could still mend between us. I know I could never cut you out of Harry's life, and I don't intend to do that, but _I_ need the distance now, all right?

Please just leave me alone with all those attempts to explain what happened, because at the moment it's simply far more than I can bear."

Remus looked at his brother imploringly, but it had taken Janus far too much inner struggle to come over here to simply give up now.

"Remus, I think we need to talk about what happened. Please. I know what happened has hurt you and that it's hard to even think about what could have happened, but I need to talk about it before I go mad."

Remus shook his head. "It's all about you again, isn't it? You need to talk about it, so I'd better be ready to talk about it as well, because it would be intolerable if Janus Lupin didn't get his will, now wouldn't it? But not this time, all right? Because I'm past the point where I still care about what you think, past the point where I would do anything to please you without thinking about myself. I thought things had changed, Janus. I thought that you had changed. But obviously you're still the same as you were before and I simply don't have the strength to fight against that anymore. I'm tired of constantly proving myself in front of you, Janus. Dad thinks everything can be mended, but let's at least be this bit honest to each other – there's nothing between us that can ever improve. You don't trust me, never have and never will, and I'm fed up with struggling for your opinion, recognition, love, whatever!

I'm just too tired for that, Janus, and I have Harry to think of. I'm sorry that you're stuck with a brother you can neither trust nor love, but we can't change that, it's just the way it seems to be and you will have to accept it. I will have to accept it."

Janus stared at Remus with his mouth hanging open before he caught himself enough to speak again.

"Remus, I don't know what you want to hear from me. I made a mistake, maybe the biggest mistake of my life. Yes, for a moment I doubted you that night. I allowed myself to be convinced of Lucas' reasoning when I should have known better. Yes, I should have known that if anything, you'd never do something to harm Harry, but I simply didn't think enough. I was just as overtaxed as you and Lucas were, I was worried, angry at myself and scared all at the same time. I simply did not think. If I could change it, I would. But it has happened and all I can do is try to explain it to you, try to tell you how sorry I am about it. It might never be enough, but you're not even giving me a chance!"

"Just like you never gave me one!", Remus shouted back. As he realized just how loud he had spoken, he quickly waved his wand towards the door and silenced the room so that they would not wake Harry again. Though he took care that he placed a one-way silencing charm so that he could still hear the child in case he woke up again. Then he turned back to his brother, his amber eyes blazing angrily.

"Don't talk to me about not giving you a chance, Janus, because _you_ were the one who never gave _me_ a chance!"

"What in Merlin's name are you talking about?"

Remus shook his head again and started to pace up and down the kitchen.

"What I'm talking about? I'm talking about this only being the tip of the iceberg! You really don't understand it, do you Janus? I'm not only talking about what happened two weeks ago, I'm talking about how you behave towards me every single day of my life!

Yes, it hurt me when you turned your wand on me that night, but that's not been unforgivable. But you've done the same thing over and over again, every day since I was five years old. Oh, you didn't point your wand at me then, you didn't need to. You had other ways of letting me know what you thought about me. Do you even begin to understand how much it hurt me to hear you say all the things you said back then? That you wished I didn't survive the full moon when I was only ten years old, that you called me a monster more often than I can remember, that you were willing to do anything to turn Dad away from me? Do you really think it didn't hurt me when you talked about me as if I wasn't there? Do you think I forgot how you told me that you wished I had bled to death the night the wolf bit me, that it would have been better and less painful for all of us?

I thought we had moved beyond that, Janus. I thought that we could behave normally towards each other by now, even if we'd never get really close. But you simply had to prove me wrong, didn't you?"

Janus shook his head with a completely befuddled expression on his face.

"You...you remember that? But...?"

"Do you really think I would forget my own brother telling me how much he hates me? How little he thinks of me? Of course I remember that, Janus. I remember each and every single time that I cried myself to sleep because of you. All I wanted was for you to love me, or at least to care a little bit for me. But whatever I did, I simply was never good enough for you, was I? You just never gave me a chance. And now I simply don't have any strength left to waste it on a senseless competition for your love and recognition, Janus. I don't think that you've ever changed from how you were back then, and I'll never be good enough to be the brother you've wished for. That's how it is, let's finally face it, we've been dancing around this realization for long enough! And now finally leave me alone!"

Janus bonelessly sank down into one of the kitchen chairs, his otherwise so sharp green-brown eyes looking slightly glassily up at his brother.

"What?"

Remus shook his head and weakly lifted an arm to point into the direction of the door. Now that he had finally let out everything that had accumulated for far too long already, he looked every bit as if this small movement was already more than his strength allowed.

"Janus, please..."

But Janus was not willing to back down all that easily. He slowly got up from his chair and walked over to his brother, who backed away from him as he approached.

"Remus, I was a child..."

"Don't start this with me, Janus!"

"But it's the truth! Fuck, I was nine years old and my life changed completely from one moment to then next, you don't really want to begrudge me for that, do you?"

This time Remus wanted to say something but Janus didn't give him the chance.

"Remus, I'm the first person to admit that I'm not perfect, that I've made mistakes in the past and am bound to make mistakes in the future. And yes, I might have told myself that I hated you in the past, but that doesn't mean that it is the truth. Remus, I...fuck, I was just a kid as well! There is no handbook for how to deal with your younger brother suddenly becoming a werewolf, all right? I never wanted to screw it up like that, because I _do_ care for you! I care for you a lot more than you think!"

"Then tell me why!" Remus didn't care that he was shouting now and neither did he care that a tear was rolling down his cheek. Janus probably would not have noticed anyway as he was far too busy to try and keep his own emotions in check.

"Why? You want to know why I behaved the way I did? Remus, that's how children are. They are cruel at times, even to the ones they love. It wasn't only your life that changed over night. Of course, you were the one who had to bear the pain and the transformations, but I suffered as well. I lost my friends, I got beaten up whenever the other kids found out about you, I was the one who always got pushed aside in favour of you! After that wolf bit you, I could just as well have seized existing because all Dad cared about was you. Yes, I was jealous, yes, I was a mean bastard, but I was just a kid, all right? It was just as scared and hurt as you were, only I had nobody to lean on to. It was also my Mum who left us, and I have seen how much Dad was suffering from it. And I was helpless, I could help neither him nor you. I was your big brother and there was simply nothing I could do to help you. Whatever I did, it only hurt both of us and Dad on top of it as well. So I let it be. I stayed away from you as much as I could and none of us got hurt. I thought it worked.

Maybe I have done some pretty dumb things ten days ago, but please don't make the mistake of confusing that with what I did when I was just a child. Because whatever I did I never really wanted to see you hurt. You're simply wrong if you think that I don't care for you. Or that I don't love you. Just wrong."

Janus was standing in front of Remus now, his hands reaching out to touch his brother's shoulders but hesitant to actually establish physical contact. Remus didn't meet Janus' eyes, he kept staring at the floor, shaking his head and keeping himself balanced with his hands on the kitchen counter. He continued to shake his head as Janus stepped closer and screwed his eyes shut as if he was expecting his brother to strike him any moment.

Janus didn't know if it was the right or the completely wrong thing to do, but right now he could not simply stand here and watch Remus try to deal with the twenty-three years of pain and misunderstanding that was their relationship. He didn't give himself any more time to think about what he was doing, for once in his life Janus gave in to his instincts and made another step forward to try and wrap his arms around Remus. But as if he had crossed an invisible barrier, Remus immediately stiffened and stretched out his hand to ward Janus off.

"Don't", was all he brought out in a raspy voice and Janus immediately stopped in mid-movement. Remus shook his head a couple of times, worrying his lower lip with his teeth, then he lifted his head and opened his eyes again. Janus suppressed his urge to flinch as he saw the raw pain reflected in his brother's eyes. "I just can't take that now, Janus. Just...just leave me alone for a while. Please."

Remus didn't often show his moments of weakness in front of others, especially not in front of Janus, but right now he didn't have the strength left to hide how much he was hurting inside. "Just go", he pleaded.

Remus knew that whatever Janus was attempting to do, he simply didn't have the strength to fight it. He only hoped that Janus would understand it now and not force him to beg.

Janus made another move towards him. "Remus..."

"I said go!", Remus shouted and immediately Janus made a step back. For a long moment he looked at Remus, then he nodded slowly.

"If that's what you want."

Remus didn't answer, he was staring at the floor with his hands clenched at his side and tried to stop his hitched breathing from becoming open sobbing. Eventually, Janus turned towards the door and went into the living room. Maybe half a minute later Remus heard sounds from the fireplace, signalling that Janus had flooed home. As if his legs were not able to support him any longer, Remus sank to the floor as the first sob wrung free and the tears started to fall.

His mind was one huge mess of confused thoughts and hurt feelings, and Remus saw no way how to get all that cleared away anytime soon. He _wanted_ to have this mess between himself and Janus sorted out, he _wanted_ to keep Janus in his life. Not only because of Harry. Of course the child adored his uncle and Remus would never hurt Harry by keeping Janus out of the boy's life, but that was not the only reason why Remus wanted to have Janus around. He had learned to treasure his brother's presence in his life over the past years, he didn't really want him to leave like he had just done.

But Remus was simply hurting too much, he was too fed up with trying to be good enough for his brother to notice him. He could take a lot, but this simply had been too much. He didn't necessarily need Janus to show him openly and all the time that he cared about him, he didn't necessarily need them to be as close as brothers were supposed to. It would feel good to have that, but over the years Remus had learned how to live without it. But that Janus thought so little of him, that he didn't trust him at all had hurt Remus' inner core, had hurt him in a place he had thought to be immune against being hurt by his brother by now. And he just could not stand to be in the same room as Janus right now, no matter how sorry he said he was.

Sometimes, sorry simply was not enough.

Remus didn't know for how long he had been crying when he distantly heard the floo activate again. He heard it but didn't really register it, just as well as the footsteps which were approaching him slowly. Remus didn't need to look up to realize that it was his father kneeling next to him on the tiled kitchen floor as a pair of arms wrapped around him and pulled him against his chest. Richard had hugged and comforted Remus often enough in his life so that he didn't need to see him to recognize him.  
Richard didn't say anything, he simply held his son tightly and waited for him to calm down a little. He had been at Janus' place spending some time with his granddaughter as Janus had returned from his visit to Remus. Of course Richard had also been curious as to how the conversation between the two brothers had turned out, though he had not had his hopes all that high that everything would clear up between them without any problems at all. When Janus had returned some ten minutes ago, he had been equally devastated as Remus was, though he showed it differently. It would take a different kind of thing to make Janus cry, but he had been clearly distraught and agitated, pacing up and down the living room without really paying any attention to what was going on around him. He had not listened to anything Richard or Serena had said to him, his mind clearly being somewhere completely else.

That was when Richard had guessed that if Janus was already this upset – though he refused to tell just what exactly had happened between him and Remus now – Remus had to be doing even worse. And the last thing Richard had wanted was Harry seeing his godfather in such a condition, so he had flooed over immediately.

Actually, Remus was doing far worse than Richard had imagined. It must have been years since he had seen his youngest this upset, but without thinking very much on how this would eventually turn out he simply held Remus and soothingly ran his hands up and down Remus' back. After what seemed like a small eternity, Remus stopped crying and simply remained in his father's embrace, drawing comfort from the proximity. There were some things he would forever mentally connect to hugging his father, no matter if it was from the time when he had been small or more recent. The smell of his aftershave which was still the same as it had been twenty years ago, the stubble on Richard's face which scratched slightly along his cheek, and above all the extreme feeling of comfort and protection he felt when his father was holding him. During those moments it didn't matter whether he was eight or twenty-eight years old, he simply knew that his father would still gladly give him those moments of comfort even if Remus was already fifty or sixty years old.

"Do you feel better?", Richard finally asked. Remus shrugged and withdrew slowly from the embrace. He wiped his eyes, but not because he was feeling embarrassed by how hard he had cried.

"I don't know. Did you ever have the feeling that you've screwed up, though you did the only thing you could live with?"

Slowly, both men got up from the floor and sat down at the kitchen table. Richard watched his son with extreme concern in his eyes, but he was not able to hide completely how much the whole situation between his sons was bothering him. Before he could answer Remus' question, Remus spoke again.

"It's hurting you, isn't it?"

It was a statement, not really a question, but still Richard nodded with a heavy sigh. "Yes", he replied honestly. "It has always hurt me and it's still hurting me, but I can hardly force you to pretend everything was all right between Janus and you just for my sake."

Wearily, Remus folded his arms on the table and let his head drop onto them. "I just screwed it up completely. Maybe I should have simply accepted Janus' apology and tried to forget the whole thing."

Richard reached out with his hand and squeezed his son's shoulder. "We both know that you would not be able to live with that. Janus has hurt your feelings, and you can only react to it like you feel it's right to do."

"But I don't want to continue like this. I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to be angry with Janus, and I don't want to continue competing for his attention when all that ever comes out of it is something like that."

Remus looked up at his father from now red-rimmed eyes. "I love him, I really do, but he just never gave me a chance. Maybe I even love him too much, because I simply can't accept the way things are now, I simply can't stop hoping that our relationship might improve. I just can't stop hoping for him to...", he shook his head, swallowed and let his head drop onto his arms again. 

Richard knew how Remus had intended to finish that last sentence before his voice broke, but he didn't know anything that could help Remus now. He was sure that Janus loved his brother, but he was also very much aware of the difficulties his older son had in showing that. Remus saw this behaviour as rejection, and Janus simply didn't realize how much Remus craved for his brother's love and recognition. What those two had was one big communication problem, what they needed was simply to wash all the dirty laundry for once, but none of them made the first step. And whenever he tried to help them along the way, he got told to stop meddling. But Richard was close to reaching his limit, he could not take much more of that, not after things had seemed all right over the past years.

"Remus, Janus loves you as well. It's just...he has built so many walls around himself over the years that _he_ sometimes doesn't really know what he is supposed to be feeling about things. I know that I've made some huge mistakes where the two of you were concerned, but please don't give up on him just like that. Janus loves you, give him a chance. Take all the time you need to think through what happened between him and you, but don't just lock him out of your life just now. Janus has hurt you, and you have every right to be angry, but what is going on at the moment is hurting him as well as you, and it's hurting me. I don't want things to be like that."

Another tear rolled down Remus' cheek and he wiped it away with the palm of his hand. "I know", he said with a shaking voice. "I just don't know what to do next. Do you know how much I wanted to say that everything was all right earlier? I wanted to accept his apology, but it simply wasn't enough. I've always tried anything to apologize for what I am, for something I didn't even have an influence on, and tried to be good enough for Janus to love me, and he hardly ever even acknowledged my existence. And now he says 'I'm sorry' and I'm supposed to accept that without another word? It hurts, Dad. It simply hurts too much."

Richard turned his chair slightly and pulled Remus towards him so that he leaned slightly against his chest, his arm protectively around Remus' waist.

"I know." There was nothing more he could say, nothing he could tell his son that would soothe the pain Remus was going through now, but Richard had the feeling that with enough time things would maybe finally fall into place for their family. If Remus and Janus would eventually manage to clear up all the shit between them that had accumulated over the years it was possible. And right now might be a good time to bring up all the things that had gone wrong between them, as strange as that might sound even as Richard thought it. In the meantime he would simply do his best to be there for Remus and Janus if they needed him. Of course the thought that his sons had those problems hurt him, it hurt Richard horribly, but once more he would push his own hurts aside to support his sons as much as it was necessary.

He had thought that it was a good idea to confront the brothers with each other even if they did not want it, but it obviously had not been a good idea at all. He might have known that things could turn out like that, but there had been a small bit of hope driving him to pull this confrontation through.

Richard suddenly felt horribly old. He simply didn't know if he had the strength left to go through something like that again.


	22. Perception

**Perception**

A week later Remus found himself walking up the corridors and staircases of Hogwarts castle once more. This time, however, he had absolutely no intention to visit the infirmary, he had had enough of that part of the castle for the next couple of years, thank you very much. Instead, he was proceeding towards the headmaster's office. Albus Dumbledore had called him through his fireplace earlier that morning, asking if he had time to come over, and Remus had agreed.  
Even though Harry's kidnapping and Remus' own injuries lay more than two weeks in the past now, he was not yet back to working full time again. He visited the store occasionally, did most of the bookkeeping at home, but going fully back to work was something he'd only do when Harry was completely over everything that had happened and back in his usual daily rhythm. By now the child still refused to go to school, or rather, he refused to do anything that would separate him from his godfather for the bigger part of the day. It was a muggle school Harry was going to, and he didn't necessarily need to go there. Wizarding children were in most cases home-schooled anyway before they went to a boarding school. And so Remus had decided to give Harry some time off and had taken him out of school for the time being, and if it took the child that long to cope with what had happened, he was willing to let that arrangement run until Christmas. After that, Remus was convinced that Harry needed to get back to his usual circle of friends and school, and he spent a couple of hours every day going through his exercises with Harry, so that Harry would be able to keep up with his classmates once he returned to school. But at the moment that arrangement suited both Remus and Harry fine, and Remus was glad that every day the child showed small traces of coping a bit better with what had happened to him.

After climbing another staircase and walking down another corridor Remus finally reached the stone gargoyle at Dumbledore's office entrance, gave the password which the headmaster had told him this morning and stepped onto the moving staircase towards the old wizard's office. Dumbledore bid him to enter immediately after he had knocked, and rose from his chair behind his desk to greet Remus.

"Ah, good afternoon Remus. I'm glad that you could arrange to come."  
"Good afternoon, Albus. It didn't take all that much arranging, seeing as there is hardly a daily schedule I have to keep to for the most of it."

Dumbledore nodded and gestured Remus to sit down on the sofa that stood along one wall. He himself took an armchair next to it and sat down, pouring both of them some tea.

"I see. How is Harry?"

Remus accepted the cup and shrugged slightly.  
"It's getting better, but it's a slow process. By now he sleeps through the night occasionally, and he doesn't panic immediately when I'm not around and he doesn't know where to find me straight away. But he is still extremely wary of everything out of the ordinary, and no matter how much I talk to him about what happened, it still scares him deeply."

Dumbledore nodded, thoughtfully sipping his tea.

"I see. But I am convinced that you will be able to help him through this. Should there be anything you need, you know you only have to ask."

"Thank you, Albus. But at the moment I think it only needs time, and I'm afraid that there isn't much you can help me with that."

"Indeed", Dumbledore chuckled. "May I inquire as to where young Mr. Potter is at present?"

The mirth in Dumbledore's voice brought a smile to Remus' face. He knew that the old headmaster had a good idea about Harry's possible locations.

"I left him with Hagrid before I came up here, but only after he promised not to go into the Forbidden Forest with him under any circumstances. Hagrid is able to get him into enough trouble as it is even without the forest."

Dumbledore smiled.

"And he had no complaints about being left with Hagrid?"

"None at all. I imagine it's hard not to feel completely safe in the presence of somebody who is three times your own size. He trusts Hagrid enormously."

No small wonder there. After all, Hagrid had been a constant companion for Harry ever since he had started to live with Remus. An occasional constant companion, they hadn't seen each other on a regular basis, but often enough for Harry to develop an extreme liking for the Hogwarts gamekeeper. Remus still remembered the first hesitant letter the giant man had written him after he had gotten to know about Remus' victorious custody struggle. Hagrid had asked if Remus had anything against him visiting the child occasionally, after he had settled in at Remus', of course. And of course Remus had only too willingly complied. Only too well did he remember how much Hagrid had been taken with Harry when he had still been a small baby. The Marauders had always gotten along very well with Hagrid already during their school time, and even during the time of the war the contact had never really broken off. And after Remus had taken Harry away from the Dursleys, he had not had any intention of changing that. So Hagrid had been a constant companion of Harry's during the past five years. He had visited at Harry's birthdays or in the days afterwards, and when Remus and Harry had been at the castle they had paid a visit to Hagrid's hut nearly every time. The child had learned to trust the huge but soft-hearted man over the years, so much that even now after all the distress he still felt safe in his presence.

Which of course helped Remus now as it enabled him to speak to Dumbledore without disturbance. Only, he didn't know what the old wizard wanted to talk to him about. But he would not be left in the dark for much longer, Dumbledore had never been one to beat about the bush.

"I visited Sirius yesterday."

Remus should have known that something like this was about to come, yet he had not really been prepared for the onslaught of emotions - mostly guilt – that followed this statement. Remus had become a master in the art of pushing aside during the past days and weeks. Janus, Sirius, all those problems he had pushed aside in favour of caring about Harry. They would catch up with him sooner or later, but he wasn't prepared for it yet. Still, it seemed as if he had to deal with one of them now.

"How is he doing?"

Dumbledore leaned back and watched Remus calmly for a moment.

"Physically, he is as bad as can be expected after the past years. His condition is stable, but those years of imprisonment and malnutrition have left their marks. But the healers are still far more worried about his mental condition."

"You said as much when we last talked about him." Remus swallowed hard. "What...do they know anything yet? I mean, if he'll recover?"

Dumbledore sighed heavily.

"He's been examined and cross-examined for the past two weeks. There are some improvements, though they are small as of now."  
"What does that mean?"

Again, Dumbledore thought for a moment, as if to decide whether he should tell Remus something or not. Finally, he seemed to come to a conclusion.

"When Sirius was arrested and brought to St. Mungo's, he was anything but lucid. I told you that. What I didn't tell you was that he was pretty agitated. To be precise, he was raging, and that rage was directed at you, and you alone."

Remus nodded.

"I've been thinking about that. I mean, when we met at the Riddle House I wanted to hurt him, I probably wouldn't have shed a tear if he had dropped dead at that moment, but that was mostly because I thought he had killed Harry. And James, Lily and Peter." He shook his head and held it between his hands as the confusion about all those events flared up again.

"But Sirius seemed to feel nearly as much hatred for me as I felt for him. That night I hardly paid any attention to it, but afterwards I couldn't help but wonder. He called me a traitor and did his best to harm me in any way possible for him without a wand. I can't explain why he behaved like that, and neither why he thought Harry was dead."

"Before I visited Sirius, I spoke to his mind-healer. It was a rather long conversation, as Sirius' case seems to be far more complicated than what they usually have to deal with at St. Mungo's, but it bore some interesting revelations.

For one, the healers are quite certain that Sirius' mind was quite undisturbed until very recently."

"Meaning?", Remus frowned.

"Meaning that the process of memory-charming him did not begin until a couple of weeks before his escape. Of course the healers can't determine what state _exactly_ his mind was in before that, but they suspect that being in Azkaban did not influence his mind as much as it did other prisoners."

"He didn't go mad", Remus concluded. Dumbledore nodded.

"As far as the healers are able to say, that is their assumption, yes. So Sirius' rather mindless rage that night was caused by the rather large number of memory charms placed on him in the meantime. My conversation with Sirius himself was very short, as he is extremely exhausted from his treatment at the moment, but combined with what the healers told me I think I now know a bit more about what happened to him."

Remus crossed his legs and ran his hands though his hair. Did he really want to hear this now? The answer was yes, he craved to finally learn the truth, only he didn't know if he could stand it. But Dumbledore didn't wait for Remus' agreement to continue.

"Seemingly, the first Memory Charms were placed on Sirius three to four weeks prior to the Azkaban raid, that much the healers could determine with near-certainty. Remarkably, he seems to have broken through those charms rather easily."

Remus frowned. "Why should that be remarkable? Sirius has always had a huge strength of mind."

"Don't forget that at that time he was in Azkaban for five years, Remus. The presence of Dementors, as I am well aware you know, does influence that strength over such a long period of time."

"I do know that. Maybe...well, I am not sure of course, but maybe that was because he is an animagus. I don't know what kind of influence Dementors have on animals, but I don't think it's as bad as it is with humans. Sirius always, well...when we were at school, and they learned to become animagi, he always said how different it was to be a dog. Maybe it works both ways, that Dementors have a different effect on animagi than on humans. And if Sirius had enough strength to change at times", he shrugged, not really knowing if this kind of speculation was what Dumbledore had asked him to come for. The old headmaster watched him interestedly for a moment.

"An interesting line of thought, one worth pursuing once Sirius has regained some of his mental strength. But however it happened, the fact that Sirius managed to break though those charms is a remarkable achievement."

"Unfortunately, there surely were people to replace those charms once he broke through them."

Dumbledore nodded.

"That is true. The healers have a couple of methods in finding out what exactly was done to Sirius, but of course it takes more time. From what they could tell me already, it wasn't only that somebody tampered with his memory. It wasn't like in your case that a certain time-span was erased from memory, the healers are convinced that a lot of false memories have been planted in Sirius' mind."

Remus leaned back and let that information sink in for a moment.

"What does that mean?"

"That means as long as the healers have not completely sorted out which of Sirius' memories are true and which are false – if such a thing can be done at all – we will not know for sure what exactly happened five years ago. Did Sirius believe Harry to be dead already back then? Did he consider you responsible for it all somehow? Those are things we really won't know until then. Or until we can determine a purpose as to why the Death Eaters would have wanted to implant certain memories in his mind. And who did it."

"So what you want to say is that some time before the raid somebody started placing false 'memories' into Sirius' mind, for a certain purpose. And then Azkaban was raided, Sirius escaped, and then what? I'm afraid I don't understand it."

Dumbledore thoughtfully took another sip of his tea before he continued.

"I have the strong suspicion that Sirius' escape was not exactly planned the way it happened. After all, where would be the sense in tampering with his mind if he then ran free to break through those Memory Charms in time? No, I rather suspect that it was planned for him to be taken, along with the other Death Eaters who were freed, but somehow he managed to escape."

Remus frowned. "But still I don't really understand."

"Think about it, then it makes some sense. At least on a completely theoretical basis, because as I said, it's still speculation only. But what was it the Death Eaters wanted above all else?"

"Harry", Remus growled, his anger mounting beyond his ability to control it. Dumbledore nodded.  
"Yes, Harry. To bring Voldemort back. So whatever they did, they did it to get hold of Harry and ultimately to resurrect their master. And of what use could Sirius be of them there?"

"He knew me. Knows where I live, knows my family. And...", Remus stopped and his eyes widened. "Did the Death Eaters know that he was an animagus?"

"I assume they did. Mr. Pettigrew did, in any case, so I think it's safe to assume that he told about it. And what better way to get hold of Harry despite all the protection around him than taking somebody who could slip through nearly all possible wards without being noticed? Somebody who in addition to that also knew you well enough to judge about your possible reactions."

Remus realized that Dumbledore had not called Peter by his first name as he had always done. Maybe that was the old wizard's way of distancing himself from his former pupil who seemingly had betrayed them all so badly. He swallowed hard. "It makes sense, somehow. But if Sirius escaped the Death Eaters, then how come he did attack me?"

"They caught up with him again. The mind healers told about some very disturbing images they saw in the pensieves they used on Sirius. But if they had to catch Sirius again then it would explain why so much time passed between the Azkaban raid and the attack on you and Harry."

Remus breathed in deeply. Of course it made sense, and of course Albus had already told him earlier that it had in fact been Sirius who had kidnapped Harry and nearly killed him, but no matter how often he heard it or told it himself, the shock about it remained the same. But as much sense as all what Dumbledore had said made, it still didn't add up in the whole picture Remus had in mind.

"But still. I mean, I can accept that this happened to Sirius, and that it eventually drove him to attacking me and kidnapping Harry. The house was not warded against animagi, so he could easily got through the wards. Well, he would have anyway because the wards Janus put up reacted to the Dark Mark, and if Sirius never was a Death Eater then he doesn't have one. But anyway. Sirius was memory-charmed, put under Imperious and broke into my house. Where did he get a wand? He didn't have one when we encountered at the Riddle House, otherwise he'd have used it on me.

And after the Death Eaters had gotten hold of Harry, why did they send me a portkey? I understand that Janus' coming along was not planned, but they definitely wanted me there. And Lucas Spalding, why he was brought there still isn't all that clear to me either."

Dumbledore thought for a moment.

"I imagine somebody gave Sirius a wand when he was sent out to take Harry. They would not have left it with him, however, just in case Sirius managed to break through the charms. After all, Sirius was a very powerful wizard before he was sent to Azkaban, Mr. Pettigrew surely has not forgotten about that. Having him with a wand would have been too big a risk in case some of his memory returned. I can only speculate about Mr. Spalding, but we bother know that he carries the Dark Mark. And though the Death Eaters took him captive for some reason, I'm sure it has not all that much to do with why you were taken there. It seemed like a rather...personal matter."

"But still – why me?"

Dumbledore sadly shook his head.

"During his interrogation Mr. Pettigrew was asked exactly the same thing."

"And what did he say?"

"I think his words were 'it was supposed to end now'."

The words sent a strange chill down Remus' spine, but he could not make sense of them.

"What did he mean?"

"Sirius was supposed to kill you when he took Harry. And once he had fulfilled his task, the plan was to dispose of Sirius. Mr. Pettigrew would be the only one of you who was left."

"The one Marauder who had survived us all."

Dumbledore nodded.

"The inconspicuous, nondescript Peter Pettigrew surviving those who were always considered more powerful, more intelligent and generally more apt to make a successful living on their own than he was. He seemed obsessed with the thought of outliving you all, of being the last one of you to survive."

Remus laughed harshly.  
"If that's what you define successful living. I don't know if I would. I still can't imagine that it was Peter that night. That night, and five years ago. I honestly can't imagine that it was Peter at all."

"That was maybe why he was so successful as a spy during the war. We all forgot too easily that Voldemort often reached for people like him to get to those he really wanted."

"Where was Peter during the past five years?"

Dumbledore shrugged.

"Nobody can say that for sure. He was here and there. The only thing he told us was that he tried to hide in the wizarding world for a while directly after the war. To stay within reach of news, so that he would get to know it when things turned and it was safe for him to resurface again. But then it seemingly got too dangerous and he fled England. The only thing else we know for sure is that he somehow managed to find his master again, in Romania of all places. Voldemort seized the chance and took hold of Peter's body. I imagine it was difficult to travel back inconspicuously for them, but they managed. With a body at his disposal, though not his own, Voldemort could finally plan his return. He began contacting what was left of the old inner circle and devised the plan that finally brought you all to the Riddle House."

Remus nodded, thinking this through again.

"But still, if Sirius was supposed to kill me, the question remains why he didn't."

"Maybe he thought you were dead, but given Sirius' knowledge about your lycanthropy and his magical training before his imprisonment I would not say that. He conjured and threw dungbombs to cover his trace, but the only one who would have been able to smell him were you. He needn't have done that had he considered you dead. Maybe he couldn't kill you, maybe seeing Harry triggered something in his memory, I don't know. Sirius always had a strong mind, I am convinced he'd have been able to at least partly break through the charms and spells. So when Sirius did not kill you that night, they had to think of a new way to do complete what Sirius failed to do."

Remus nodded.

"They sent me Harry's stuffed lion, convinced I would touch it before I had much time to think it could be a trap. Because it would have been far easier to kill me once they had taken me away from anybody who could have intervened."

"Yes."

Remus still shook his head in disbelief. It all sounded so surreal, not at all like something which had only recently happened to him and his family. He fidgeted a bit uncomfortably.

"Do you think it would be wise if I visited him?"

It was incredible how hard it was for Remus to bring those words to leave his mouth. He didn't know if he really wanted to see Sirius – or what had become of him – or if he was only doing this to calm his own guilty conscience. But maybe Dumbledore would advise against it anyway, then at least Remus would feel a bit better about evading his former friend. Not that Dumbledore could make that decision for him, but Remus had always valued his advice. But Dumbledore only frowned slightly, a bit startled at Remus' sudden shift of topic back to his old friend.

"Sirius? I don't know how wise it would be to visit him right now, Remus. Only two weeks have passed, he is still far from being in a stable condition again, be it mentally or physically. I'd advise you to talk to his healers, but from what I have seen during my visit I'd say it's not advisable at the moment. Give it some time, until he is aware of what he has done and what has been done to him. If you allow me, I'd say you could need that time as well."

Remus leaned back against the sofa and stared at the ceiling.  
"I let him rot in Azkaban, Albus. I was out here, free and raising Harry – enjoying my life, for Merlin's sake – while he was tortured and tormented in that hell-hole. I did nothing to help him, not once did I doubt that he had done the crimes he had been committed for. I don't know if I even have the right to bother him with my presence."

Dumbledore looked at Remus for a long time before he sighed and got up from his chair. He walked over to Fawkes' perch and stroke the magnificent bird slowly for some long minutes.

"That I cannot tell you. And neither can I forgive it. That's an absolution only Sirius can give you. And me. The point will come when we all will have to ask for his forgiveness for contributing to what was done to him, until then we will have to wait and see."

Remus knew that Dumbledore was right, but nevertheless he had hoped that his former headmaster would be able to tell him something that would ease his mind. Of course, nobody had believed in Sirius' innocence before the events of the past weeks, nobody had doubted that he was rightfully imprisoned, but Remus felt especially guilty. He had not been a distant acquaintance, a former teacher or headmaster or colleague, he had been one of Sirius' friends. Sirius had done so much for him, had given him so much during their time at school, he had owed it to him to believe in that friendship. Instead he had cast it aside as if it was nothing.

A hand on his shoulder startled Remus out of his thoughts, and he was surprised to find Dumbledore standing next to him. He had not even heard the old headmaster approach.

"We cannot change the past, Remus. What is done is done, and all we can do is ask for our mistakes to be forgiven and allow them to make us stronger."

Remus nodded wearily and got up from the sofa.

"You are right, as always. Thank you Albus, for being so open with me. I'd better go and get Harry before Hagrid gives him some rock-cakes and I have to take him to the dentist again. I'd rather spare myself that drama at least for once. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Remus. I'll come to visit Harry the next weekend, if you don't mind."

"Of course not. Until then."

Remus gave another nod at his former headmaster and left the office.

Remus brooded over the things Dumbledore had told him for the better part of the next week. It was simply hard to accept, so very hard, that all the shards he still had to collect up had once been his life. He thought about Sirius a lot, and for the first time in more than five years he allowed himself to think of the good times they had, to think of their time at school and the close friendship they had developed. Those memories still hurt, but it was a different hurt than it had been before. Not so much painful, but rather a longing to have those times back. Which he couldn't, he knew that. He didn't even know if he'd have the strength of character to confront Sirius once it was possible. But that was still in the distant future, at the moment his friend's condition did not allow Remus to visit him. He had asked at St. Mungo's, after an hour of contemplating whether or not to place that call at all. He had indeed been a bit relieved as the nurse told him that Sirius would not be able to receive any visitors for the time being.

But no matter what Remus did, those thoughts always came up again once he had a couple of quiet moments for himself. Which was the case at the moment, because Harry was upstairs in his room, doing some math exercises. Remus had seated himself on the living room sofa with a book he had wanted to read for weeks now, but he hadn't opened a page yet. But just as he tore himself out of his musings, he heard steps on the stairs announcing that Harry was finished. Remus was glad for the distraction. Harry would probably want to go flying again, and at the moment Remus was even willing to get on a broom himself just to keep from brooding about Peter and Sirius.

A moment later Harry entered the living room, but to Remus' surprise the child did not wear his boots and jacket, and neither did he walk straight towards the door to the garden. No flying today, as it seemed. Instead, he went over towards the sofa, wordlessly pushed one of Remus' legs out of the way and sat down.

Harry was still more clingy than he had been before the kidnapping, he seemingly needed the physical reassurance that his godfather was there and would not let anybody harm him whenever he could get it. So now he cuddled close again, leaning his back against Remus' chest until his godfather wrapped his arms around the child and soothingly began to stroke his hair. But Remus had the feeling that right now this was more than the need for a good long cuddle, something was weighing on the child's mind and Remus was a bit anxious what that could be. But he'd give Harry some minutes to start talking on his own before he'd ask any questions.

"Can I ask you something?", Harry indeed asked after a couple of moments.

"Sure you can", Remus answered, not stopping his tender ministrations.

Harry hummed and hawed for another long moment, and Remus wondered with a frown what all this could lead to. Finally, Harry reached for Remus' right hand and intertwined the fingers of both of his small hands with Remus' before he began to speak.

"Was Uncle Janus mean to you?"

It took Remus a moment to overcome his surprise before he was able to answer.

"Why do you think that?"

Harry shrugged. "Because you don't talk to him when he comes to visit me. And when Eric put that dungbomb in my schoolbag last summer and I was angry with him, I didn't talk to him for a whole afternoon. But Uncle Janus must have played a really mean prank on you, because you're not talking to him for longer now."

He should have known that Harry would realize something amiss, he should have known. But what to do now? Harry had a way of asking questions, no matter about what, which mostly left Remus desperately searching for the right answer, if there even was something like a right answer.

"Janus didn't play a prank on me, Harry."

"But you don't talk to him. Why?"

Remus sighed.

"Because he did something I didn't like, something that hurt me and made me angry."

"Didn't he say he was sorry?"

"Yes, he did."

Harry frowned. "But if he said he was sorry, then why are you still angry?"

How in Merlin's name was he supposed to explain that to the child? But Harry didn't wait for an answer.  
"Uncle Janus is sad."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I know it. He is fun when he visits me, but not as much as he was before. He looks sad when he comes here. And I don't want him to be sad. I liked it better when you two were talking to each other, that was a lot more fun."

Remus sighed and pressed his face onto the top of Harry's head. Of course it had been a lot more fun when he and Janus had still been on speaking terms. And Remus wanted those times back, and badly so. He wanted to have a normal relationship with his brother, he desperately craved the silent knowledge that his brother cared about him. That Janus loved him. Remus had been just one step away from giving in to Janus' attempt to hug him some days earlier, one step away from pushing everything that had happened aside in favour of superficially mending their relationship. But something had held him back. He had known that it would be the wrong thing to do, that he would regret giving in very soon. He simply had not been able to do it, though he had desperately wanted to. But how should he explain something to Harry if he didn't really understand it himself?

"I'm afraid that it's not that easy, Harry."

"Why not?"

"It's not easy to explain. I taught you to say that you're sorry when you've done something wrong because I wanted you to understand that what you did might have hurt somebody else."

Harry nodded, sticking out his lower lip and chewing at his upper lip in concentration to follow Remus' words.

"And I taught you that because I wanted you to see that a small mistake can already hurt a person, so that you don't make the bigger mistakes in life. The ones that really hurt the people around you. And those are the ones where it's simply not enough to say that you're sorry."

Harry turned slightly so that he could look into his godfather's eyes.

"Uncle Janus made such a big mistake?"

Remus nodded. "Yes, he did."

"When the bad men took me away and you came to bring me home?"

Again, Remus nodded, still running his hand through Harry's hair. "Yes, that's when it happened. But don't worry too much about that, all right?"

Harry shook his head.

"But I don't understand it. Will you never speak with Uncle Janus again?"

Remus sighed, lifted Harry up and turned him around so that he could look into the child's eyes.  
"I'm angry with Janus, and I'm sad about what he has done, but I don't know what will happen between him and me. I don't really know it. You know pup, though you might think so, I don't always know what to do or what will happen. And right now I don't know what will happen."

He was startled to see tears forming in Harry's eyes, surprised because the child had not cried all that much during the past days. And though there was a strain between Janus and him, he had not thought Harry would feel it that strongly. But Remus often forgot how perceptive Harry was for a child of his age. Quickly he wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled him close.  
"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"I don't want you and Uncle Janus to fight because of me."

Remus was startled and it took him a moment before he could speak again.

"Harry, we're not fighting because of you."

"Yes, you are! You're not talking with him since the bad men took me, you said so. If I had not let them take me, then you would still talk with each other. But now you don't talk, and he doesn't come here that often anymore, you both are sad about it, and all because of me."

Remus closed his eyes and pulled the crying child closer into his arms, hugging him tightly against his chest.

"Oh Harry, nothing that happened is your fault! It was not your fault that you were taken away, and what happened between Janus and me has nothing to do with you, either. You did nothing wrong, sweetheart. Nothing is your fault."

"Yes it is! I let the bad men take me, you and Uncle Janus got hurt and now you are fighting and don't love each other anymore. And it's all my fault! I'm sorry, Remus. Sorry that the I let the bad men take me, and I'm sorry that you and Uncle Janus are not talking to each other now. I'm sorry. I didn't want that. Please talk to Uncle Janus again, I promise I'll be good, but just make it all right with him again. Please."

Harry sobbed even harder and for the first time Remus experienced a situation with Harry which he could not handle alone. No matter what he tried to say or do to soothe Harry, the child simply did not calm down again. Instead he continued to sob into Remus' shoulder, not showing any sign that he would calm down again. Remus' first thought was to call up his father and ask him for help, but he did not know what Richard could possibly do to help him deal with Harry right now. The child kept on repeating over and over again that it was all his fault, that he was sorry and that he would do anything if Remus and Janus only started talking to each other again.

There was only one thing left to do, and as much as he didn't like it, Remus knew he had to do it. Quickly untangling himself from the sobbing child's arms he got up from the sofa and knelt down in front of the fireplace. After a moment of hesitation he reached for the floo-call powder and threw some into the flames, calling up his brother's house. After a moment of waiting, Serena' head appeared in the flames.

"Remus, hello. That's a surprise."

"Hello Serena. Is Janus there?"

She nodded and her head vanished from the fireplace, leaving Remus with an unobstructed view of Janus' living room, until after a moment Janus came into view from the left side and knelt down in front of the fireplace. There was a concerned frown on his face as he looked at Remus.

"Remus, is something wrong? Is Harry all right?"

Remus shrugged. "Not really. Could you maybe come over?"

After a short moment, Janus nodded. "Sure. When?"

"Right now if possible?"

"Erm...okay. Give me a minute."

It took him maybe twenty seconds to come rushing out of the fireplace after Remus had broken the floo connection, and he was looking extremely worried as he vanished the soot from his robes with a quick wave of his wand.

"What's wrong? Where is Harry?"

Remus gestured to the small boy on the sofa who by now had curled up into a tight ball, still sobbing openly. Janus immediately hurried over and placed his hand on top of Harry's head.

"What happened?", he asked into Remus' direction.

"He thinks it's his fault that we are fighting, and nothing I said or did could convince him otherwise. To be honest, I don't know what to do."

Janus sat down on the sofa next to Harry and lifted him onto his lap without another word. Slowly, soothingly, he rocked him back and forth and began rubbing circles onto Harry's back to get the child's attention.

"Hey, little one. Why are you crying?"

Harry shrugged, but as soon as he realized just who was holding him on his lap he buried his face deep into Janus' neck, sniffing loudly. His crying didn't subside, though, and he held on to his uncle in a dead grip. No matter what Janus tried, he could not manage to pry the child's arms loose from his neck, though he tried to pull him back and look him in the eyes. Remus saw that Janus was feeling just as helpless as he did, but he could not think of anything to do, so he sat down beside his brother and gently ran a hand through Harry's hair. Janus continued to rock Harry back and forth, but still the child did not stop his litany of how sorry he was and that he would do anything to make his godfather and uncle get along with each other again. Remus helplessly looked at his brother, searching for reassurance of any sign that Janus had the situation under control, but his found nothing.

Janus' gaze strayed around the room, and after a moment came to rest on the chest of drawers that stood under the window. He nodded into this direction, and Remus got up from the sofa. As he stood in front of the chest of drawers, he gazed back questioningly.

"What do you want?"

"The cards."

Remus frowned, but picked up the package of Exploding Snap cards that lay on top of the chest of drawers and returned to the sofa. He had left them lying there the evening before after he and Harry had played a couple of rounds. Still not knowing quite what to do, he sat down in an armchair and looked at his brother, but as he saw no reaction there he shrugged and shuffled the cards. He dealt for all three of them, though Harry still had his face buried in his uncle's shoulder. Janus shifted his hold on Harry slightly so that he could hold him with one arm, picked up the cards with the other and started to sort through them. Remus was still obviously puzzled, but he followed his brother's example and picked up his own cards. They began to play while Harry was still sobbing into Janus' shoulder, but as Janus' deck exploded a moment later the child curiously turned around to look at what the adults were doing. It tore at Remus' heart to see Harry's red-rimmed and swollen eyes and his still slightly quivering chin, but he wordlessly handed Harry a tissue and pretended to focus on his cards. Without looking up from his own cards, Janus addressed Harry.

"If you want to play along you'd better hurry up, little one. You're about to lose this game already."

Harry hesitated for a moment, looking from Remus to Janus and back again, but as he did not find an explanation for this strange shift of behaviour he hesitantly picked up his cards and sorted them in his hand, still sniffing slightly and a couple of stray tears still running down his cheeks. He was still sitting on Janus' lap, though, and so he turned slightly so that Janus could not look into his cards anymore. He had played that game with his uncle before, he knew that Janus cheated.

They played three games – Janus lost each and every one of them, one to Remus and two to Harry – before Remus went into the kitchen and fetched tea and sandwiches for them. As he sat down and they began to play their fourth game of Exploding Snap, Janus finally broke the silence that had been hanging between them.

"You're worried, aren't you?"

Harry looked up from his cards, turned around slightly towards his uncle, but then he turned his head and glued his gaze onto the cards in his hands again, his slim shoulders shrugging.

"Don't know."

"Remus said you're worried that he and I are fighting because of you."

A hesitant nod, barely noticeable. Janus still tried to sneak glances at his nephew's cards but Harry held his cards tightly and did not let him look into them. Janus threw a card onto the table and flinched as a thin stream of smoke started to rise. He hated it when he lost Exploding Snap games. And he lost often, no matter what he did. But that was not his main concern at the moment.

"And you think we are fighting because we don't love each other anymore. And that we'll keep on being angry at each other, and all that because of you."

Again, Harry nodded. Remus was watching them attentively and didn't pay attention to which card he was playing. In fact, he was just automatically playing out a card and didn't even notice that the stack of cards on the table smoked more and more.

"Do you think that Remus loves you?"

Again, Harry nodded. This time without any hesitation.

"And that I love you?"

Another immediate nod.

"But we both have been angry with you in the past. That doesn't mean we ever stopped loving you."

Harry fidgeted uncomfortably on Janus' lap, his cards forgotten for the moment.

"Yes, but that's different."

"Why?"

"Because when I did something wrong and you got angry, I said that I was sorry and then I got punished and things were okay again. But you're angry with each other for a long time already. And you don't stop fighting, though you have said you're sorry for what you did. Remus told me you did. But you just don't stop fighting."

Janus put his cards down onto the table and shifted Harry so that he was sitting sideward on his lap and he as well as Remus could see his face.

"Why do you think it's your fault that we are fighting?"  
Harry shrugged, sniffing loudly as more tears announced their arrival. Janus pulled a fresh tissue from his robe pocket and handed it to him. Harry blew his nose and shrugged again.

"Because you are fighting since the bad men took me. If they had not taken me, you would not be fighting."

Janus ran a hand through Harry's hair and sighed. Remus got up from his armchair and sat down on the sofa next to his brother and godson. Janus continued as if he had not noticed.

"What would you say if I told you that you are the reason why we _stopped_ fighting in the first place?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that Remus and I only stopped fighting with each other and started to get along better when you came to live with him. Do you remember how you were living with your aunt and uncle, the muggles?"

Harry frowned and nodded. "Not really. I know that I lived with them before I came here, but I don't really remember."

"You were small, it's no wonder that you don't remember. But you lived with them, and then Remus decided to take you out of there, and your grandpa asked me to help him. That is when we started getting along with each other."

Harry frowned.

"Why were you fighting before?"

"We were not really fighting, we simply did not get along with each other. We had been fighting often when we were children, and we never really made up."

"But why? And what has that to do with your fight now?"

"Because we never talked about what happened. You are worried that Remus does not want to talk to me, but he has a right to be angry with me. I was not always nice to him when we were younger. I hurt him, hurt him badly."

"Like the bad men hurt me?", Harry asked, unconsciously cradling the arm which Lucius Malfoy had broken against his chest. Janus shook his head.

"No, I didn't hurt him like that. I hurt him here." He placed his palm on Harry's chest, right above the child's heart. "I said mean things to him, did things that hurt him."

"But why?", Harry asked, his fingers nervously playing around with the sleeve of Janus' robe.

"Because I was scared."

Remus frowned at that unexpected statement, and Harry's head snapped up in surprise as well. His adoration for his uncle bordered on hero-worship, and he simply could not imagine that there was anything that could scare Janus.

"You were scared?"

Janus nodded. "Yes, I was scared. I was not much older than you are now when Remus got bitten by the werewolf. Everything changed all of a sudden, and nobody really explained to me what was going on. Our parents didn't know how to deal with it themselves at first, and so I really didn't know what had happened. I had heard stories about werewolves and I was scared because Remus was one of them now. I was scared that he would hurt me."

"But Remus can only hurt somebody when he is a wolf", Harry immediately came to his godfather's defence. "And he is only a wolf once a month. He would not hurt you when he is not a wolf."

"I know that now, Harry. But I didn't know it then. And nobody could really explain it to me. Mum and Dad were worried about what Remus was going through, and I felt that they didn't care about me anymore."

"They didn't?"

"Of course they did. It was just...it's difficult to explain it. They did care about me, I just thought they didn't show it enough. And I blamed Remus for it, because they were always worrying about him, not about me. I told myself that he was the reason why Mum went away, and why Dad paid more attention to him than to me, and because I didn't know better I vented it all out on Remus. I said mean things to him, I did mean things to him and I gave him the feeling that I wished he wasn't my brother. And when we got older, we went to different schools and didn't see each other that often anymore. We never really talked about what happened, and I never tried to understand what it means for him to be a werewolf. We hardly spent time with each other, and if we did, we didn't talk about anything personal because we always started fighting otherwise. And only when Remus tried to get custody for you we saw each other more often. And when you finally came to live with him we spent more time with each other, and we started to get along better.

So you are not the reason why Remus and I are fighting, Harry. You're the reason why we got along so well over the past years. But we never talked about our old problems. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

Janus was not all that sure if what he had said made any sense at all, especially to a seven year old child, but after a short frown Harry nodded slowly.

"I think so. But why are you fighting now?"

Janus cast a quick glance at his brother before he continued.

"I made a big mistake. I did something stupid and I hurt Remus again. And he remembered how much I had hurt him when we were younger and that we never really talked about it. He has every right to be angry with me, but whatever the reason is, it's not your fault. The only person who is to blame is me, because I was so stupid to hurt him again."

"But you said you're sorry."

Janus nodded and leaned back into the sofa. "Yes, I did. And I _am_ sorry. But I can understand that Remus doesn't accept my apology. I did a really bad thing, and for some things it's not enough to say you're sorry. You can't apologize for everything, little one, I know that now. Sometimes when you make a big mistake all you can do is hope that the one you have hurt is a better person than yourself and is able to forgive you one day."

Janus was sure that Harry had not completely understood the last sentence, but it had not been meant for the child anyway. He was sure that Remus had understood it, though, and he only hoped that his brother also understood what he had wanted to say. But Harry's worries about the situation between his godfather and his uncle were seemingly not calmed completely.

"But that means Remus and you are still fighting. Why did you hurt him, Uncle Janus? Don't you love him anymore?"

With a sad smile on his face Janus pressed a kiss onto Harry's forehead.

"I do love him, very much so. I just never really showed him, that's why it's hard for him to believe it. But whatever happens between the two of us, it won't change that Remus and I both love you very much, all right? Nothing that happens has anything to do with you, and we'll do our best so that you still feel comfortable. But you have to give us space when we need it. And some time to work things out. Just tell us if things are bothering you too much."

Harry pulled a face and leaned wearily against his uncle's chest for a moment, thinking hard.

"I don't want things to be like that", he mumbled into Janus' shirt

"Me neither", Janus whispered before he could stop the words from tumbling out. But he didn't look up to see Remus' reaction. How to explain to a seven year old child that life did not always go according to what he liked? No matter how much he and Remus loved the child, they could not simply put all their problems aside because Harry did not understand the reasons for their fighting.

"And we don't do this to hurt you, Harry. But it has happened, and now it can't be made up within a day, it's not that simple. Give us some time, little one, that is all I ask of you."

Harry still didn't look as if he liked the idea of those changed circumstances in his family. He shrugged insecurely, not meeting Remus' and Janus' eyes. Remus ran a hand along Harry's cheek in an attempt to soothe.

"Absolutely nothing that happened was your fault, pup. That is something between Janus and me. I know that it's hard for you to understand, but I promise we'll do whatever we can to make it better again. We're both here for you, but we also need some time to settle things between us. All right?"

Again, Harry shrugged, but after a moment Harry got off his uncle's lap and settled on the sofa between Remus and Janus, leaning against his godfather's side.

"I still don't understand it."

Remus nodded. "Be glad that you don't, Harry. Janus and I will do our best to get things back to normal again. Just keep in mind that you can talk to us about anything if you don't feel well with it."

"All right."

Harry still didn't sound entirely convinced, and Remus did not expect him to understand what was really going on between Janus and him, not before he was much older than now. As much as Remus had pushed all thoughts about his brother and their problems aside, this day's events had shown him that he needed to confront them, and quickly. His issues with Janus were one thing, but though they were serious, he did not want Harry to suffer from them. He'd need to talk to Janus about what had happened. Remus still doubted that he could ever forget what had happened, he was not sure that the nagging doubt about Janus' feelings for him and his trust in him could ever be calmed completely, but they urgently needed to get back to a level of normality that would make Harry feel comfortable again. It was funny, come to think of it. He had accused Janus a couple of times of not understanding that he would never do something to hurt Harry, but he had done exactly that. He had refused to talk to Janus, had thought that as long as his uncle was still around Harry would not suffer under their fighting. But Harry was perceptive and had realized that something was amiss. Harry had been hurting and Remus had not realized it. He'd have to put an end to this, and quickly.

Janus stayed until after dinner that evening. Both brothers had followed a silent agreement that it would be better for Harry if Janus didn't leave again right after they told him that they would try to bring things back to normal. So instead they played some more rounds of Exploding Snap until Janus was so fed up with losing that he went into the kitchen and started to prepare dinner for them. Harry had been extremely gleeful that his uncle had not managed to look into his cards even once, but the day had tired him out and he had not protested against being brought to bed at half past eight, at least not with any of his usual vehemence. They had sat up with him for a moment before saying their goodnights and going downstairs into the kitchen again. There, Remus handed Janus a cup of coffee and leaned against the counter with an audible sigh. Janus watched him for a moment, as if something was going through his head and he didn't quite know how to put it into words. Remus could sympathize with that, he himself felt just the same.

"Thank you", was what he finally settled on. Janus put his cup on the table and frowned.

"For what?"

"For coming over so quickly earlier on. I really didn't know what to do when Harry just didn't stop crying."

"You really don't need to thank me for that. We should have known that he would realize that something was going on. We have to think about a way to stop this from disturbing him any further."

Remus nodded wearily. "Yes, that we have."

He slowly pushed himself away from the counter and sat down on a kitchen chair facing his brother. Silence stretched between them. Both were struggling to find the words, to find a beginning for this conversation, but none of them was truly successful. What were they supposed to do now, analyzing their entire relationship from the moment on when it had begun to fall apart? When was that moment, anyway? And how much of that could be undone, and with what would they – would Remus – have to learn to live? It was all far too complicated, far too confused and confusing to find a starting point. Minutes passed until Janus eventually put his cup down onto the table and shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"I meant what I said earlier."

Remus shook his head to chase his own thoughts away. "Pardon?"

"I said that I meant what I said earlier", Janus repeated. "To Harry."

Remus frowned in an attempt to remember what his brother was talking about. Janus had said a couple of things to Harry which came to his mind, and he didn't really know what exactly Janus meant. His confusion must have shown on his face, because Janus elaborated further.

"Don't think that I haven't spent most of the past days thinking about what you said. And about what I did. I know that I was not the role model of a brother, and that I said and did a lot of things I should not have. If I'm honest with myself I never thought about what you had to be feeling. I didn't care about it, and even if I felt I overstepped a line I always made up a reason why you had earned it. Yes, I was a complete asshole, and truth be told I can't imagine any reason why you didn't explode a lot earlier. I can only tell you again that I'm sorry that I've hurt you with my behaviour, back then just as two weeks ago. When we were children I didn't think enough to care about it, and in the Riddle House I didn't trust you despite anything I knew. You made it clear that my apology was not enough for you and I have to accept that. But I meant what I said to Harry earlier. I know I haven't earned it, but I hope you can at least try to forgive me."

Remus wearily leaned his head onto his hands, massaging his temples with his index-fingers, trying to stave off the headache he was starting to develop.

"Do you even begin to understand how unbearable is to love somebody, to be constantly craving for that person's love and recognition, but to receive nothing – absolutely nothing – in return?"

Janus slowly shook his head. "No", he breathed out. "I don't know what that feels like."

"I wouldn't know either, were it not for you."

There was nothing Janus could respond to that, so he didn't even try. He watched his brother with what appeared to be a calm expression on his face, but inside of him a wide range of emotions was raging.

"There was nothing I wanted more than to accept your apology last week, but I simply couldn't, Janus. I want things to be all right between us, don't doubt that, but I just don't know what it takes to make me able to forgive what you did. To understand why in Merlin's name you did it. Can you tell me that?"

"Why I raised my wand against you? Because I was faced with either trusting what my partner told me or trusting in your integrity. I made my choice, and it turned out to be the wrong one. If I had given it more thought, I might not have done it, but fact is I didn't. Fact is, it shouldn't normally take me a lot of thinking to trust my own brother, but I can't change what happened."

Remus shook his head.

"That's not the reason. It's the end of the story, the reason lies where all this started."

"So the question is why did my best to make your life miserable when we were children? Because I thought you had earned it. It's that simple. You were taking them away from me, Remus. First Dad, then Mum, and there was nothing I could do to stop it."

"I did no such thing, Janus!"

Janus nodded.  
"Yes you did. I didn't' say you wanted or planned it, but you definitely did it. Or what happened to you did it. That you had become a werewolf tore our family apart, you can't deny that. It wasn't intentional, but it happened. You were not to blame, but do you think I understood that at the age of nine years? Of course I was angry at you, furious that you caused all that. You were my little brother, I didn't want you to get hurt. And at the same time I was gleeful when I saw what you were going through because it showed me that I was not the only one who was suffering. I don't know if I can explain it, Remus. I don't know if it's necessary. I told you I hated you, I did my best to make your life miserable, and then I tried to keep away from you as much as possible. I told myself that I hated you and that you had earned what you were going through, but it never really worked. But in the end all that doesn't really matter, does it? If I can't really understand it all myself, how should I try to put it into words? I was a child, I was scared and hurt, and you were the perfect scapegoat. Maybe that's too easy an explanation, all too simple, but I just can't put it differently."

Janus inconspicuously wiped his left palm over his cheek, but Remus wasn't even looking at him and so didn't see the stray tear.

"I just want it to be over", Remus said. "I just want my family back, the way it was before."

"That's exactly what I always felt like. Don't make the same mistakes that I did, Remus. It won't be the same as it was before, never. If you accept that soon enough you might be able to see how we can all come out of this stronger than before."

For a moment Remus had to think about where he had heard that advise before. It took him a moment to remember that it had been Dumbledore who had said nearly the same to him a couple of days earlier. But what could he possibly say to that?

Janus got up from his chair and walked over towards the door. While leaving he spoke over his shoulder without turning around.

"If it's all right with you, bring Harry over tomorrow. I'm sure Serena would be glad to see him again without dragging Julia through half the floo-network."

Remus didn't respond, but Janus still didn't turn around. Instead, he shook his head once and made another couple of steps forward.  
"Janus, wait."

Remus' voice stopped Janus, but seemingly was not enough to make him turn around. He didn't want his brother to see just how hard he was struggling to keep his composure. Only the slight heaving of his shoulders showed that he was not as calm and indifferent as he appeared to be. He heard Remus' chair scratch on the tiles as his brother got up, he heard Remus' footsteps until he came to a halt behind him, but still he did not turn around.

"Janus? Could...would you please turn around and look at me?"

Slowly, Janus complied. Remus was standing in front of him now, his expression betraying that he felt just as helpless as Janus himself did.

"Just how in Merlin's name did we get into this bloody mess?"

Janus only shook his head and cast his eyes downwards. "I don't know", he answered truthfully. "I simply don't know."

"I agree with Harry in one thing. I absolutely don't like the way things are right now."

"Me neither."

To say that Janus was perplexed when Remus suddenly made another step forward and leaned against him would be quite an understatement. He had not forgotten how his brother had shied away from the mere idea of a hug only two weeks before. But he saw how Remus was hurting, and he knew how that felt because he was hurting just as well. And as Remus stood before him now, something inside of Janus snapped, a dam which had held him back and had kept him away from Remus for so long finally broke. Things couldn't go on like they had for so long now, and he would not let Remus deal with all that alone. For a moment Janus felt as if he was frozen into place, but then he wrapped an arm around Remus' back and held his brother's head against his shoulder with his other hand. Remus leaned into him with a sigh.

"I don't know how in Merlin's name we are supposed to ever get out of this mess, but I don't want it to stay like that", Remus mumbled into Janus' shoulder. Janus didn't answer, he simply held his brother and hoped that this was a first step on their way to something akin to normality.

Remus just leaned into Janus, using the fact that his brother was half a head taller than him to bury his face in Janus' shoulder. He didn't know how things between Janus and himself were supposed to go on from here, there was still far too much they needed to talk about, things that needed to be said explicitly, just once, to get them out of the way, but he didn't care about that now. For now all that was important was that he stopped hurting. And that was just what the embrace did for him, it made the hurting stop. He didn't cry, he just basked in the feeling of for the moment having something which he had wanted for so long. Just for this one moment he could close his eyes and pretend everything was all right. Or would be – could still be – all right some day.

In the end none of them could tell for how long exactly they had been standing in the kitchen like that, but it didn't matter. Finally, Janus withdrew and held Remus at arm's length to look him up and down.

"Are you all right?"

Remus shrugged and nodded at the same time. "I think so. I will be, at any rate. Thank you."

Janus nodded. "I should thank you. Now, if you pack up the kid and come over tomorrow for lunch, you might have a chance to get some of Serena's famous chicken and ham pie. All right?"

"Sure. I wanted to drop in at the store tomorrow, but I wanted to go early, anyway. I'll see you then."

"Yeah, until tomorrow."

Janus looked at Remus for a moment longer, then he turned around and walked over towards the fireplace and flooed home. With a sigh, Remus sank down in his previously vacated kitchen chair. He still would have to have a long talk with Janus, maybe more than one, but not today and neither tomorrow. They'd have to give it some more time than that, broken trust wasn't mended all that easily. But for the first time in long weeks he thought that they could actually make it.


	23. Salvage

**Salvage**

The following weeks seemed to fly by, and Remus found himself struggling to keep up with their rapidity. There was so much he needed to fit into his everyday schedule, and seemingly so little time. Of course his main concern still was Harry. And though the smile and excitement slowly returned to Harry's eyes, though the nightmares didn't come every night anymore, Harry still needed a lot of Remus' attention. He stayed out of school until the first weeks of November. Surprisingly, Harry had been the one to say he wanted to go back to school, and Remus had taken it as a good sign.

It had been after their annual visit to James' and Lily's grave. Every year on the first of November, Remus and Harry went to the cemetery, had always done since Harry had come to live with Remus. They did not go just once a year, but November 1st was the only fixed date they did so. Remus knew that he could never truly tell or show Harry what living with his parents would have been like, but he did his best to make sure that the child knew who they had been – and where they were now. Harry knew a lot of stories about James and Lily, from their time at school and afterwards, and he knew what had happened to them as far as a child so young could grasp. Harry was always a bit more introvert after those visits, and this time he had been in his room for the entire afternoon and had then later come down to tell Remus that he wanted to go back to school. Harry had not given any explanation as to how he had come to that decision, but had said he was sure about it when Remus had asked.

Remus had been glad about it, but even with Harry back in school there had been many things keeping him more than occupied. He was back to working full time, just like before everything had happened. And he spent a lot of time with Janus lately. Janus had not yet started working again – did not yet know how his career would go on for him – and thusly had time enough on his hands. He spent a lot of time with Harry, but Remus and Janus also used the time they had to try and get all the things that had gone wrong into a working order again. It wasn't pretty, and it wasn't fun either. Sometimes, they had to put up a Silencing Charm so that their shouting would not wake Harry. There was still too much anger and hurt feelings between them for them to have a normal and calm discussion that would clear everything up easily and silently. But Janus and Remus had definitely learned their lesson from the past events. They did not let Harry hear their fighting, and though they didn't pretend everything was all right between them, they did their best to ease the tension whenever the child was around. So far, it seemed to work, at least for Harry. Remus wasn't so sure about Janus and himself, though. He had the feeling that things were gradually getting better, but on the other hand didn't know if he was right in that assumption. They never consciously sat down and started talking, often their being together just developed into talking and mostly into shouting as well. Mostly it was Remus who started with – sometimes unfair – accusations, but if he thought to provoke a certain reaction from his brother that way, he was mistaken. They were still desperately searching for a middle ground to move on, and it was harder than Remus had imagined it to be. But then there were those small moments when he thought that they were indeed moving forward. One evening, Janus had asked Remus about the wolf, for the first time ever since Remus had been bitten. And Remus had told him, everything he could think of. The transformations, the pain and the injuries, how this all had changed a bit for the better when his friends had become animagi for him, the Wolfsbane Potion and its affects. Janus had simply listened while Remus had been talking. Afterwards, Remus had had the feeling that now Janus at least understood a bit better. And they had for once not ended up shouting at each other or accusing each other. Those moments convinced Remus despite everything that they might still be on the right way.

So between Harry, his job, Janus, his father, and all the other small things that always came in between, Remus didn't even realize how much time was passing. For the first weeks, he had dreaded to receive a letter from the Ministry about what had happened to Harry. He knew that still there were many people who didn't want to see The Boy Who Lived raised by a werewolf, even after five years, and Remus had feared that those people would take Harry's kidnapping as the perfect opportunity to take Harry away from him. But it had not happened. Only when both Janus and Albus had assured him that though Harry's kidnapping would be investigated officially, the Department of Family Regulations would not be involved in anything, had Remus been able to calm down about it. Janus knew it from Lucas who had investigated a bit, and Dumbledore had addressed that issue in a conversation with the Minister himself, and the last had finally assured Remus. Harry would stay with him, they would not take him away. If there was one thing Remus truly feared, one fear that had only been enhanced by the past events, then it was the fear of losing his child. That was one thing he knew he could not live with.

So the months after the kidnapping had been straining on Remus, but that had also prevented him from thinking too much about other unpleasant things he'd have to face sooner or later. And one thing had completely slipped his mind: Sirius.

Albus kept him supplied with news about Sirius' condition, but it took until the middle of November until Albus brought the topic up in one of their conversations. Seemingly, now Sirius seemed fine and stable enough to receive visitors. Dumbledore could not have received a different reaction had he knocked Remus in the stomach. Did he really want to visit Sirius? And then what?

But in the end Remus knew that he had no choice, that he would have to see Sirius sooner or later. He'd rather face that now than in a couple of months or even later. He didn't know what would come out of this visit, but he simply had to try. And so he found himself travelling to St. Mungo's on his free Thursday morning while Harry was at school. He asked the nurse at the counter for directions and was finally led into a secluded corridor. Before he was allowed to enter the ward, however, he was led into an adjourning office where he had to fill out a form and his identity was checked by an Auror. It made sense, however. Sirius still had not received a trial, he had not been declared a free man, so he was still officially a prisoner of the Ministry. Remus' wand was confiscated, his pockets were searched, and as the Auror left a tall, balding man in a green healer-robe entered the office. He checked something on a clipboard and stretched out his hand towards Remus.  
"Ah, Mr. Lupin. I'm Albert Sparrow, the healer in charge of Mr. Black's case. Professor Dumbledore already told me that we could expect your visit. He has been very helpful over the past months, the Professor. Provided us with very useful information about Mr. Black that helped us sort through his memories."

"How is Sirius doing?"

Healer Sparrow sat down behind the desk and shrugged slightly.

"Much better than when he was brought here. Much clearer." He took off his glasses and began to polish them with the hem of his robes. "But still. His case was extremely difficult to treat, Mr. Lupin. Is still extremely difficult to treat, actually. We were not only faced with erased memories, but also with falsely implanted ones that were meant to make Mr. Black react to a certain stimulus in a certain way. We used Occlumency and pensieves, as well as everything Professor Dumbledore could provide us with from Mr. Black's past, we even hypnotized him on a couple of occasions." He finished the polishing, put his glasses back on his nose and looked at Remus.

"But I'm losing myself in descriptions. Physically, Mr. Black is in a stable condition at the moment. Malnutrition during his imprisonment has left its marks on him, he is still underweight, but no more extremely so. I have to say, Mr. Black has a rather strong appetite."

A smile, then the healer continued.

"Mentally, his condition is as stable as we can get it at the moment. You have to understand that what we were trying to do was on the one hand trying to recover erased memories while on the other hand we attempted to find and erase false implanted memories. What made things difficult was that at first Mr. Black was not exactly cooperative, and there were other complications."

"What complications?"

Remus felt anxiety rise inside of him. Dumbledore had not told him about any serious problems that had occurred during Sirius' treatment, but maybe something had gone wrong. Maybe Sirius' mind had been permanently damaged by what had been done to him. What would happen if that was the case? And what did '_as stable as we can get it at the moment_' mean anyway?

"I'll try to explain it to you. It happens rather often that when wizards tamper with other's memories, they do not merely erase certain memories but also plant false 'memories'. Though not often in an extend as it was done to Mr. Black. Now, finding out where exactly something has been erased in a person's mind is rather easy for a well-trained mind healer. Sometimes those memories can be brought back, sometimes not, depending on the strength of the charms that were used."

Remus nodded. He understood that part only too well, after all that was what had happened to him after Sirius' Memory Charm.

"What is far more difficult is finding the false memories. But mostly the perpetrators plant those new memories to replace something they have just erased. And example, maybe. If a muggle sees a wizard performing undoubtedly identifiable magic, and the Ministry is called to the scene, they will certainly erase the memory of what the muggle has seen. Instead, they might plant another memory, so that the muggle would not think he had just seen a person flying on a broom, but that he had seen a large bird, for example. If now a mind healer wanted to find the false memory, he'd try to identify where something had been erased. And if he could bring the memory of seeing a person on a broom back, the muggle in question would of course struggle to find out which of the two memories he had is the true one."

"The broom or the bird."

"Exactly, Mr. Lupin. And that is the point where a mind healer can find the false memory. Either the person whose memory has been tampered with can help himself – if he is lucid enough, that is – or the mind healer can use a pensieve or an Occlumency charm to find out what the person is struggling with."

"And you tried that on Sirius."

Healer Sparrow nodded, his expression solemn.

"Yes, we did. And he reacted violently to it. Mr. Black has a very strong mind, Mr. Lupin. And as soon as our healers started to break through the first mental barriers that had been erected, it all began to fall apart."

"What do you mean?"

"When we do something like that, we try to keep it as controlled as possible. Slowly, one intervention after the other. Normally, we don't have cases where so much has been tampered with as in Mr. Black's case. Now, when we broke the first Memory Charm on Mr. Black, it was as if he realized that there was something in his mind which didn't belong there." Sparrow shook his head. "And he seemingly wanted to get rid of it. He managed to break through other Memory Charms, and suddenly his mind was one confused mess of contradicting memories. There was nothing we could do to stop this chain-reaction. He had been relatively lucid when we started the treatment, but within a day he was not responding anymore. He was incoherent, talked nonsense, became violent against the healers and the nurses again. Plainly speaking, he was a mental nursing case at that point. To be honest, for a while we thought that this damage was permanent."

"Is it?", Remus asked, his throat suddenly dry. Sparrow shook his head.

"It definitely made progress slower and our task more difficult, but by now we're convinced that it's not permanent, no. In fact, Mr. Black is in a quite stable mental condition at the moment, as I said earlier. But a certain degree of confusion about what really happened and what has only been implanted in his mind remained, and that is a point where the best cure is having long conversations with people who know the answer to those questions. In Mr. Black's case, most of the memories affected by the Memory Charms were connected to his school-friends, his own person and the war. Professor Dumbledore talked to him once or twice already, and he recommended you talk to him as well. Mr. Black agreed, and I'm glad you were willing to come. It was necessary to let you know those facts about his condition before you go to see him, though. He might not be the same person you knew anymore, if either through the Memory Charms or through his imprisonment. We will have to see how he reacts to actually seeing you today."

Healer Sparrow got up from his chair and Remus took this cue and got up as well. He was led out of the office and over towards the door to Sirius' ward.

"Mr. Black knows that you're coming, he'll be expecting you already. But I think that an hour should be enough for this first visit, if Mr. Black does not tire before that. If you need anything, or if anything unforeseen happens, just ring the bell next to the door, somebody will come immediately."

Remus stretched out his hand.  
"Thank you."

Healer Sparrow shook it.

"Good luck, Mr. Lupin. And thank you again for coming, I'm convinced it will help Mr. Black's recovery."

Remus felt slightly sick as healer Sparrow walked away and left him standing in front of the door. He breathed in deeply a couple of times and tried to still his erratic heartbeat. No matter how much he had thought himself prepared for this visit, he had to realize that this wasn't so. He was nervous, he was shaking, and he had absolutely no idea how to confront his former friend now.

With another deep and slightly shaky breath, Remus raised his hand, knocked on the door and entered the room.

It was a small ward, compared to the ones he had already seen in St. Mungo's on earlier visits. There was only one bed, the space where the second bed was supposed to be standing was occupied by a table and three wooden chairs. Of course, with Sirius in a rather healthy physical condition he would refuse to lie in bed all day. With a small smile Remus noticed that the bed was made orderly, in a way Sirius had never been known to do. For him, making a bed had always consisted of leaving it the way it was upon getting up, no matter who had tried to teach him otherwise over the years. His main argument had always been that wasting time on making a bed was absolutely senseless if he only lay down in it and thusly rumpled the sheets in the evening anyway. Remus asked himself just how much fun the nurses and house-elfs here had with Sirius. Copies of the _Daily Prophet_ were stacked on the table, some magazines and a few books were lying on the windowsill next to the bed. A door to the left probably led to the bathroom.

Sirius was sitting on one of the chairs, reading today's paper with a cup of tea next to him when Remus entered. He looked better than the last time they had met. He had indeed gained a few pounds, though he still looked awfully thin. His hair had been cut a few inches, and was clean and untangled now. He was wearing clean plain black robes and looked up as Remus entered.

The last time they had met, both had been only one step away from murdering each other, and now a strange calm settled between them, just as if neither dared to break the silence in fear of another outburst. Finally, Remus forced a smile onto his face and walked over towards the table. How was he supposed to greet his former best friend? A formal handshake, as if they hardly knew each other? A hug, which would seem like a misplaced expression of a close friendship long gone? Remus struggled for a beat, but then he settled on the easiest version.

"Hello Sirius."

Sirius watched him wordlessly for a moment, then he nodded.

"Hello Remus."

Again, silence settled uncomfortably between them, until Sirius gestured towards one of the chairs.

Remus sat down while Sirius closed the paper and placed it along with the other Daily Prophets onto the empty chair.

"Do you want some tea?"

Remus nodded thankfully. "Yes, please."

Sirius took the second cup that stood on the table – probably had been placed there for his visit – and filled it with tea. He handed it to Remus and his blue eyes watched Remus attentively as he took a nervous sip. Just like Sirius had always watched everything that was going on around him, attentively, interested, taking in every detail.

"How are you feeling?"

It sounded empty, emotionless and hollow to Remus, but Sirius didn't seem to mind. He shrugged slightly. "All right, I think. It's gotten better over the past few days. It's still murky when I try to remember something specific and if one more of those healers starts brandishing a wand over me, I'll go nuts. It feels every time as if they were pulling out my brain through the ears and pushing it back in through the nose. It's not exactly a pleasure to know that someone else is meddling around in your mind, I can tell you."

Remus wanted to say that he knew only too well what it felt like to have a mind-healer snooping around in his mind, but he remained silent. He had been through that experience thanks to Sirius' Memory Charm. And he had certainly not come here to accuse Sirius of something he had done under the influence of Imperius. But maybe Sirius had thought along the same line, because he looked at Remus for a long moment, the expression in his eyes suddenly having a new quality which Remus could not really define. But after a couple of heartbeats he tore his gaze away and looked out of the window. Remus could hardly bear to look into the gaunt face of his one-time friend, to see the blue eyes which had always been radiant with mischief and a joy of living look hollow and haunted now. Remus had never been in Azkaban himself, but he had heard the stories. Janus had visited the prison a number of times while on duty, and Remus had had the opportunity to see how much this had disturbed his brother. It took quite a lot to unsettle Janus, to make him all jumpy and nervous, but Azkaban had always done that job. That had been enough to convince Remus that he never wanted to experience it first-hand, not if he could prevent it.

Remus could not bear the silence any longer, so he decided to break it.

"Healer Sparrow said it would help you to talk about the things that still confuse you."

Sirius shrugged and looked back at Remus again.

"Then we'd talk until next week at least."

"That bad?"

Another shrug.

"I try to think of something, have a memory in mind, and suddenly something completely different pops up and I do not know what is right and what is wrong. Gets a tad bit confusing after a while."

Remus didn't know what to respond to that. Both men sipped their tea in silence – again – and again it was Sirius who broke it.

"It might sound really…I don't know, awfully little, but I wanted to apologize. I know that won't make it undone, but I'm sorry. I wasn't fully in control at that time, but I'm sorry. I hurt Harry and I nearly killed you, that should never have happened."

Just like I nearly killed you, Remus thought. Only I never pointed my wand at you, instead I let you rot in a place worse than hell for years, thinking it was even better than you deserved. It is I who should be begging for your forgiveness.

One day, Remus hoped, he'd be able to look into Sirius' eyes and tell him exactly that. Right now, however, he could not. So he only shook his head at what Sirius said.  
"There is no need to apologize, Sirius. It was not your fault. A lot of things have gone wrong, but nothing of that is to blame on you. Nothing at all."

Remus somehow felt lousy saying that. He felt lousy hearing Sirius apologies while he himself was not ready to even admit the wrongs he had committed. It must have shown on his face that something was bothering Remus, because Sirius cocked his head to the side and frowned.

"What's wrong?"

Remus shrugged.

"Nothing. It's just…I don't know. I didn't think we'd ever sit together like that again. It'll take a bit to get used to all that has changed, it's not that easy."

And suddenly, the words, his thoughts and feelings all just blurted out of him as if a damn had broken.

"Merlin Sirius, I am the one who should be sorry. I believed it, I believed it all and lived my life while you were in prison. I should have helped you, should have done everything in my power to get you out of there. I should have known you were innocent. I'm sorry, I can't tell you how much. I can't tell you how bad I feel about what I have done."

Something shifted in Sirius' expression then. The lines around his mouth grew suddenly more pronounced and hard, and his blue eyes pierced Remus with their gaze. It was scary how quickly his expression could turn from neutral to angry within moments. As he spoke, his voice was hard and cold, but strangely calm and didn't show any trace of anger. Disappointment maybe, but not anger.

"If you're just here to soothe your guilty conscience, you can as well leave now. I don't need you here just so that you feel better, I've got enough trouble with myself now as it is."

A pause.

"Go now, Remus."

Remus was startled at the sudden, unexpected change.

"Sirius, I…"

"Go! Leave me alone, Remus. I might be on the edge of being a nutcase, but I'm clear enough to know that I don't need your visits just because you pity yourself and me!"

Sirius slammed his fist onto the table so that the teacups clattered on their saucers. Remus actually flinched back from this sudden outburst. He had thought about a number of possible confrontations with his old friend, but none of his expectations had looked like this. Slowly, Remus got up from his chair and reached for his cloak which he had hung over the back. But he stopped his movement and looked into Sirius' eyes again. Remus knew that if he left now, he would never come back again. And if there was one thing Remus was sure about, then that he wasn't willing to sacrifice this chance now. It would haunt him forever, he knew that. Another purely selfish thought, but Remus knew that there was more to it.

"For fuck's sake Remus, I said leave! If it's just your guilt that made you come here, I don't want to see you again!", Sirius roared, hands balled into fists, and suddenly Remus felt his anger swell.

"No!", he shouted right back. Sirius looked surprised, but Remus didn't give him a chance to overcome his surprise and start talking. "No, I won't leave now, no matter how much you shout at me. I'm feeling guilty, yes. And my conscience hardly lets me sleep at night when I think about what happened to you. I should have done more to help, and I know I'll have to live with that guilt. And nobody, not even you, has the right to deny me those feelings. I might not have the right to bother you with them, but I will have to deal with them. And maybe visiting you was part of dealing with them, but that is not the whole reason why I'm here. You were my friend, Sirius, my best friend. Before the war started tearing us apart, that is. I don't know what you think about that, about me, if you can ever forgive me for doubting and not helping you then. But I want to help you now. Not because I feel guilty, but because you need help and I am your friend. Was your friend. Whatever. I want to help you get to your feet again, to lead a normal life. I neither see you as a charity case nor a way to soothe my guilty conscience. You're a friend in need, and I want to help you. If you let me. If not, tell me to leave and I'll do. But I won't go and leave you here believing I'm the selfish asshole you're making me look like now. Maybe there is a chance in all this for us to become friends again. Or try to. And I certainly won't let that chance pass unused."

He sank down in his chair again and leaned his head into his hands. "Merlin, I'm babbling nonsense. Sorry. Compared to you, my last weeks surely were not half as difficult, but still I feel completely confused. But I want you to know that I am not here because of me or my conscience. I'm not here because of me, I'm here because of you. Because I care about you, despite everything I might have said or thought during the past years. If you want me to leave, I'll go, but I really want to stay here."

Remus didn't really dare to look up, he kept his head leaned into his palms and breathed in and out deeply. For a moment, nothing happened. Then, suddenly, he heard Sirius chuckle softly from the other side of the table. Confused, Remus looked up, disbelief evident on his face.

"Care to tell me what's so funny?"

Sirius chuckled again, and after a moment had caught his breath enough to speak.

"I was just trying to remember when it was the last time that you gave me a good telling off."

Remus raised an eyebrow, but remained silent. Sirius had a distant look in his eyes and shook his head.

"For the life of me, I can't remember. And I don't think that any memory charm is the reason for that."

A smile stole across Remus' face.

"No, I don't think so either. Criticizing you was always like talking to a brick-wall. But do you know what? I can't remember, either."

"Thank you."

Remus' head snapped up.

"What? Why?"

Sirius tiredly ran a hand across his face. "They've been cocooning me here over the past weeks. The healers, the nurses, even the bloody house elfs. I'm not saying that it's bad, it's just…nobody here dares to contradict me, not in anything I say or do. I guess they're afraid that I'll fall apart as soon as something upsets me. I think I needed someone to give me a good telling off, to prove myself that I won't break immediately. Only I wasn't really expecting it, not yet."

Sirius smiled crookedly, though not with his eyes.

"It gets pretty lonely in here after more than eight weeks. I'm sorry, I didn't want to sound harsh earlier. It's just that I'm not really used to human company. Friendly human company. I've gotten suspicious, I think. I was looking forward to seeing you when the healer asked me if I wanted you here. this morning I became a bit more worried about it. I was looking forward to seeing you, but I didn't know how much has changed. How much you had changed. I still don't know, and the thought scares me a bit. But I'm glad you're here, despite everything."

Remus smiled.

"The two of us are a pretty sorry lot as it seems. Maybe it would be better to talk about those unpleasant things once you're completely up and about again, and once we're both a bit surer what to think about it all. I don't think we'll ever have a normal conversation if we start directly with trying to clear up the past twelve years all at once."

Sirius smiled and nodded. This time, the smile was a lot more honest and took a lot of the strain and harshness from his face.

"Sounds good." He breathed in deeply again, not looking directly at Remus. "How…how is Harry?"

Now it was Remus' turn to smile, though he did realize how much asking this question had cost Sirius after everything that had happened.

"He's holding up all right, it's getting better. At first he was clingy and scared, but it's better now." A thought crossed his mind then, a question that had been nagging on him ever since the night they had found Harry.

"Can I ask you something, Sirius?"

Sirius frowned, but nodded.

"Sure."

"In the Riddle House, you told me Harry was dead. You seemed to believe it. Why?"

"If only I knew for sure. I definitely remember that when I…", his voice caught and he looked out of the window for a moment to keep his composure. "When I got worried because I couldn't reach Peter that night, I went to Godric's Hollow. The house was in ruins, partly collapsed. The Mark was in the sky. I…there was James, he was the first I saw. I knew he was dead, somehow I immediately did, but he just looked so alive. As if he was sleeping. But he'd have never been sleeping on the floor like that, not after a Death Eater attack. And his glasses were broken. Lily was in the nursery, that's the next thing I remember for sure. The room was a mess, part of the ceiling had come down. Lily was near the door, but I didn't see Harry anywhere. I searched for him, that I remember. I think I searched the bed, but he wasn't there. And in the corner, you remember, the one with his playpen and the table where Lily used to change his diapers?"

Remus nodded.

"That all wasn't there. I dug around in the debris, but didn't find him. And…I don't know. I think at one point I decided to go after Peter. Harry was nowhere else in the house, I thought he must have been in his playpen when the ceiling came down. I think I believed he was dead at that time. But I just don't know if I was ever told the truth and Malfoy erased it later after they caught me. I would have never taken Harry from your house if I had known it was him. If I was convinced he was dead, chances were bigger I'd just take him from you without thinking too much about it. After all, how could I kidnap somebody who was dead?" He laughed mirthlessly. "But maybe I was never told the real truth, I just don't know. I've been thinking about that night over and over again. It drives me mad not to know what really happened, but I just can't remember. I tried, with the healers, to find out what was true." Another shrug. "It didn't help any. I don't know what I thought while I was in Azkaban, I just don't know. Dementors don't leave you with a very sharp memory."

Remus had the answer he had been searching for, so he didn't want to torture Sirius any further with digging through his unreliable memories. Luckily, at that precise moment he remembered the pictures he had brought.

"Do you want to see some pictures?"

Sirius' eyes immediately lightened up remarkably. "Of Harry?"

Remus nodded. "Of course pictures of Harry. I brought them, because…well, I didn't know…after all that happened - I was not sure how much you remembered and if you even wanted to see me or know more about Harry."

Remus could not quite read the expression on Sirius' face at that moment, but he realized that his blue eyes were not looking into Remus' but staring at the stack of pictures Remus had pulled out of his robe pocket.

"I'd love to see the pictures."

Remus smiled and moved his chair over slightly so that he could look at the pictures while Sirius held them. He handed his former friend the stack of photographs, and while Sirius' eyes glued themselves onto the first picture, Remus watched Sirius' face. The top photograph was the most recent picture of Harry which he had brought, a picture taken shortly after Harry's seventh birthday. It showed the child in the back-garden with his new broom, just about to mount it and lift off. A smile started to spread over Sirius' face without him probably even knowing it as he watched the photograph.

"He looks like Jamie", he finally said, his voice breaking with emotion. Remus breathed in deeply and swallowed against his tears. It had been years since he had heard anybody use that nickname for James. In fact, only Sirius had ever done so, Jamie being a reminiscence to his year-long friendship with James even before they came to Hogwarts. Long before 'Prongs' came into being. Remus had not thought he'd ever hear anybody use that nickname for his deceased friend again. Remus nodded. "Yes. And he's just as stubborn when he doesn't get his will. That kid's got a temper, I can tell you."

For the next twenty minutes the two of them worked through the stack of photos, reliving past birthdays and Christmases. Sirius was rapt up in watching Harry on those pictures, and Remus was glad that at least some of the initial ice between them was broken. They didn't talk much, mostly Remus told Sirius how old a picture was and when and where it had been taken, but they didn't need anything more at the moment. This was not about them - not yet, Remus told himself - this was about Harry. After half an hour of photos, a nurse opened the door and interrupted them.

"Mr. Lupin? It's time to leave, Mr. Black needs a lot of rest now."

"Yes", Remus nodded. "Thank you."

As Remus got up from his chair Sirius reluctantly handed back the photos.

"Thank you, Remus."

Remus frowned, a bit confused as to what Sirius was thanking him for.

"What for?"

"For taking care of the kid when I could not. For letting me know that he's doing all right with you."

Remus watched him for a long moment, saw the slightly glassy way his eyes were shining, had been shining ever since he had looked at the first picture of Harry. With a shaky smile, Remus stepped back towards the bed and handed Sirius the pictures.

"I made those copies for you, Sirius. Keep the pictures."

Sirius' eyes widened as he looked between the pictures in his hands and Remus, to and fro again. "For me?"

Remus nodded and smiled. "Yes, for you. I thought you would want to have something of Harry, something to keep. I mean...until - until you meet him, that is."

"Meet him?" Sirius' eyes had the size of saucers now as he stared at his former friend. "Meet him?", he parroted.

Remus blushed slightly and moved uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "Well, I thought...you know, that you might want to meet him. Once you're out of here, I mean, I would not want him to meet you in a hospital, he's not particularly keen on hospitals. But I thought you would want to see him."

Sirius shook his head, but not as much as a negative answer than in disbelief.

"You want me to meet him? Me? But...I mean, after everything that happened..." He shook his head once more. "If you're doing this because you think you owe me something..."

"No", Remus interrupted immediately before they ended up shouting at each other again. "That's not it. Yes, I have a bad conscience, I'm sad and angry at myself because I let all that happen, but that is not the reason why I do this. You are his godfather, James had something in mind when he made you that. He wanted you to be a part of Harry's life, and I certainly won't stand in the way. I don't think he could be harmed by having you in his life. He's a bit shy at the moment, but once he gets to know you I'm sure you two will get along fine. I'm sure."

Merlin, why was he so nervous all of a sudden? Remus wanted to kick himself for babbling like that –again – but the words had simply tumbled out and now he shuffled from the left to the right in the nervous tension that suddenly filled the room. Remus didn't like that silence, and before he even knew what he was doing, he had started to talk again.

"If it's all right with you, I'd come back again at the end of the week."

Sirius nodded shyly. "I'd be glad if you'd come again. If you want to, that is. It is getting a bit boring here after some time."

Remus smiled, relieved. "I'll see that I can get Dad or Janus to take care of Harry for the afternoon. See you on Sunday, then."

"I'll be here. I don't think they let me out of here before that."

"You will get out of here in time. And if you need something, just let me know."

"Thank you, Remus."

Remus just nodded and smiled. "You're welcome. Now why don't you try to get some rest?"

"I might be a bit confused up there", Sirius gestured at his head, "but that's doesn't mean you can give me the old Pomfrey-quotes without me noticing. _Rest_ is quickly becoming my least-liked word in here. Even the house-elfs use it."

"Saturday", Remus said with a smile.

"Saturday", Sirius repeated. And, more lowly, "I'm looking forward to it."

With another smile Remus picked up his cloak and left the room. The last thing he saw before he left was Sirius taking up the stack of pictures again, looking at the first one with a transfixed smile on his face.

Remus closed the door to Sirius' ward behind him and leaned against the wall until he was sure that his shaking legs would carry his weight again. If possible, he never wanted to go through something like that again. Dr. Sparrow's explanation of what would await him behind this door could not have prepared him for the harsh reality. Sirius was so different, the changes Azkaban and the hands of the Death Eaters had left on him were visible in his every move, in his every gesture and expression. The guilt Remus felt for this suffering threatened to choke him every time he thought about it, so Remus had done his best to push those personal thoughts aside for the time he had been in the ward.

And yet there had been moments when Remus had been able to glimpse a bit of his old school friend behind the broken body and ruined mind he had become now. A smile here, a short flicker of the eyes there, hardly longer than a second or two each time, but they had given Remus the feeling that maybe something of their once so strong friendship could be salvaged. Maybe.

"Mr. Lupin? Are you all right, can I do something for you?"

Remus looked up and found Healer Sparrow standing in front of him, scrutinizing him with a somewhat concerned gaze. Remus had not even heard him approach. How long had he been standing here, anyway? He quickly shook his head.

"No, thank you doctor. I'm all right. It was just...I don't think I was prepared for this. You said he would be different, but -"

"Are the changes that strong?"

Remus shrugged.  
"On the one hand yes, after that long a time in Azkaban. And on the other hand...there were moments when it felt as if he had not been away for longer than a day or so. If it's already that confusing for me, how bad must it feel for him?"

Healer Sparrow nodded and folded his hands over the clipboard he was carrying.

"I told you, it was difficult and time-consuming to even get him into the state he is in now. Do not doubt for one moment that it's hard for Mr. Black, and it will even get worse once he starts dealing with all the unpleasant things that are still held back in his mind at the moment. But he won't be able to do this alone, Mr. Lupin. He will need people to rely on, friends who help him get through this. Mr. Black needs the reassurance that he is not alone with his problems, that there is something worth fighting this fight for."

Remus sighed and leaned back against the wall.

"I'm just not sure I'm the right person for it."

The healer's features sobered and hardened at those words.

"Then you'd better not visit him again, Mr. Lupin. If there is one thing Mr. Black does not need now, it's any kind of personal setback. If you think that you are not strong enough to help him through this, or if you plainly are not willing to do so, then you'd better not come back."

Remus shook his head.  
"No, that's not the problem. I want to help him, I want to be there for him, but I'm worried that he'll throw me out once he realizes how badly I let him down while he was in prison. I don't know if it would be good for his recovery to go through that."

Sparrow leaned against the wall with one shoulder as well, looking at Remus intensely before he spoke again.  
"While there are surely quite a number of unpleasant memories still to be uncovered in Mr. Black's mind, I think he knows the basic facts about the time of his imprisonment quite well. When we decided to take his treatment to the next step and confront him with people from his past, we considered well what exactly we would do. We prepared Mr. Black for your arrival, and he was willing to see you. He was looking forward to seeing you. He thought about it before he agreed, and thusly I am sure that he is also aware of certain rather...unpleasant memories in connection with you. Those are things the two of you will have to discuss at the appropriate time. But it seemingly was not reason enough to say he didn't want to see you, that makes me rather optimistic that your presence helps his recovery. Mr. Black will make it known if he doesn't want you to visit him, but at the moment I have no reason to think that he'll do so at any time in the near future. As I said, he was looking forward to seeing you, and I'd appreciate it if you came back. As I said, Mr. Black needs all the help he can get now."

Remus nodded and pushed himself away from the wall. "Thank you, Healer Sparrow. Sirius and I agreed that I come back on Saturday."

"That sounds like a good idea. Until Saturday then, Mr. Lupin. If anything else occurs, I'll let you know before."

"Thank you. Goodbye, Healer Sparrow."

"Goodbye, Mr. Lupin."

Remus flooed from St. Mungo's directly to his house. Harry was still with Janus, but at the moment Remus needed some time for himself to think about this day's events. Janus would bring Harry over later, and if he didn't then the child would sleep over at his place. It would not be the first time, and Remus knew Harry in the best of hands with his brother.

So when he arrived at home, he made himself a big cup of hot tea, took it to the living room and lay down on the sofa with a sigh. So that was Sirius, he thought. Funny. He had dreaded the moment when he would meet his former friend for weeks, and now it had happened completely different than Remus had imagined it to. His former friend had been to hell and back, but he for sure was not in any way limited in his mental abilities now. On the contrary, he had seen through Remus' façade as easy as he'd have years back, when they still had been friends. Sirius didn't want his pity, that much this one visit to St. Mungo's had shown, and neither did he want Remus' visits just because Remus was trying to soothe his guilty conscience. But could Remus really offer Sirius anything else? His help, his friendship, yes, but how much was this still worth to Sirius?

If his presence would help Sirius' recovery, then Remus would gladly help. But what would come afterwards was a completely different question.

"Remus?"

Remus jumped and spun around at the same time, nearly knocking himself off the sofa in his surprise. His heart beating wildly in his chest Remus sat down again, leaned back against the cushions and looked up at his brother. Janus was watching him with a slightly worried expression.

"You okay there?"

"Yes, I'm all right. You just startled me a little."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. I thought you had heard me floo in."

Quite unceremoniously, he lifted Remus' feet off the sofa and sat down heavily. "You looked a bit lost in your thoughts just now."

Remus rearranged himself on the sofa now that his leg-space had been taken. He didn't raise his head to look into his brother's eyes.

"I've been thinking about Sirius."

Janus nodded.

"How was it?"

"Meeting him?" Remus still didn't look straight into Janus' eyes. "I don't know. Strange would be an euphemism. One moment we were dancing around each other, not really knowing what to say, the next we were yelling at each other. I really don't know what to think about it."

"And what will happen now?"

Remus shrugged. "I'll go visit him again, on Saturday if you or Dad can take Harry then. The healer said it would help Sirius to talk with people he once knew, and Sirius said he was looking forward to me coming again." He shrugged again. "I really don't know what will happen, Janus. If I can somehow help him by my visits, then I'll gladly go to St. Mungo's as often as I can. Everything else we'll have to see once he is fine again and out of hospital. There is still a trial he has to go through, and nobody really knows what will come after that. I would be far too confusing to think about all that now."

Finally he looked up at Janus and found his brother looking straight back at him. He attempted to smile, but Janus didn't move one facial muscle.

"And you? I hope you had a better day than I did."

Janus shrugged and shook his head at the same time.

"Not really. Shortly after you brought Harry over, Lucas came rushing out of my fireplace, and I swear I've never seen him so angry before. I was glad that Harry was already in the garden, otherwise he'd have another trauma to deal with."

"What happened?"

Janus sighed. "Malfoy. The hearing about his involvement in Harry's kidnapping and what happened at the Riddle House was today."

Remus remembered. Janus had told him that there would be a hearing, but he had forgotten that it would take place so soon. Though his hopes that the man would be uncovered as a Death Eater and punished accordingly had not been very high.

"It didn't go well?"

Janus shook his head.

"You could say that, yes. That bastard has about a dozen lawyers, and you can imagine that they're the best money can buy. And I don't even want to know what else his money bought over the past weeks. Lucas said that after how the hearing went, he'd be surprised if any charges were pressed against Malfoy, let alone that it goes to court."

"What? But you identified him, and so did Lucas. The both of you recognized him in the Riddle House, you testified that under oath! They can't ignore that, can they?"

"No, but the problem is that he wasn't arrested that night. The Death Eaters who were taken into custody pretend that they've never even heard his name, and they all have very good lawyers who know every trick to keep the Ministry from questioning them under Veritaserum. So far successfully. From what it looks like now, they'll get away with a relatively short prison sentence for conspiracy and without any further unpleasant questions about Malfoy's involvement."

Remus frowned. "Bribery?"

Janus nodded, his expression serious. "The only explanation I have. The Ministry is not immune against something like that, though I could not tell you where exactly the money went to. But I'm convinced the whole thing is not entirely clean."

"But what about your testimonies?", Remus repeated.

"Were taken into consideration, of course." Janus' voice showed clearly what he thought about that. "But it's Malfoy's word against ours. We did not see him, I only recognized him by his voice. He did not contradict when I called him Malfoy that night, but that doesn't have to mean anything. And surprisingly, he's got an alibi which is as good as perfect. It's his word against ours, and in case of doubt…"

"In dubio pro reo", Remus finished for him. Janus nodded again.

"Exactly. So as long as we don't have any proof of his being there, there will be no further investigation of his involvement. And we don't have any proof."

"Shit. He can't just get out of this without any punishment at all."

"That's what it looks like now, if we don't miraculously find something incriminating against him."

"Which we won't."

"Probably not, no." Janus waved his hand as if to ward off those thoughts. "But let's not talk about that any further, I'll only get angry otherwise."

Remus crossed his legs and took a sip of his cold tea.

"What about you, anything new on how you'll continue after your leave of sickness?"

Janus shook his head. "Nothing specific. Not in the Department of Mysteries, though, that much is for sure. To many intrigues, too much vital information that is kept from you. Lucas said I changed too much over the past years to be still working there, and I think he has a point in that. I talked to Alastor Moody last week."

"Mad Eye?" Remus frowned. "About what?"

"Auror training. Ryder suggested that I might like working in Auror training. I have the qualifications, so I wanted to talk to him about if there's a perspective for me in the Department."

"And?" Remus tried to imagine his brother teaching young students who had just recently left school about the Dark Arts. He could not quite picture it, but that didn't mean Janus would be the wrong person for such a job. He had the knowledge and the qualifications, if he also had the patience and didactic skills would remain to be seen.

As an answer to Remus' question, Janus shrugged again.

"It sounds good. Mind you, that eye of his will surely drive me mad, but otherwise it sounded good. Moody will give me a tour of the Department next week, then I'll take some time to consider it. But I have to start working again soon, I'll go mad without anything to do."

"Already tiring of family life?"

"No, but I need something to occupy my mind. Call it a mental challenge. But enough of that for now, I'll let it roll around in my mind and tell you as soon as I've decided."

Remus nodded.

"You're right. The pup behaved well today or was he his worst seven year old self? And speaking of it, where is he?"

"At the moment he's probably ruining our kitchen in an attempt to help Serena with cooking dinner. You ought to teach him that throwing half the food to the floor is not the way it's meant to work. But he was the perfect little boy today, don't you worry. No temper tantrums, no panic attacks, nothing at all. He didn't even ask when you'd finally be home."

Remus smiled. "Let me guess, you let him fly for nearly the entire afternoon."

"You said it was okay to let him go flying, I don't see where your problem is."

"No problem at all, I'm glad there is something that seems to help him. Shall I fetch him after dinner?"

"Why don't you come over as well? Or are you not in the mood for company? Harry can sleep over at our place if you'd rather have some time on your own right now."

Remus shook his head.  
"I don't know what brooding about it for any longer would bring now."

"Fine, then you'll come over for dinner. No contradiction. Dad will be there, too. Because much unlike both our days so far suggested, there is something that needs to be celebrated."

"Celebrated?"

Janus nodded, and suddenly there was a grin on his face which Remus didn't quite know what to make of.

"Yes, celebrated."

Mentally, Remus ran a check of possible birthdays, anniversaries, holidays or other reasons for a celebration which he could have forgotten, but came up empty-handed. He raised an eyebrow in silent question, but either Janus was not accessible for such subtle hints, or he was plainly ignoring him. Remus sighed.

"You care to tell me what we're going to celebrate, or will I just show up and wait for the first round of toasts?"

The grin on Janus' face widened even further and slowly Remus began to wonder whether his brother was finally going mad.

"Serena is pregnant."

That would explain the mad grinning, of course. Remus felt a grin of his own tug at the corners of his mouth.

"Pregnant?"

Janus nodded.

"Yes, pregnant. Is this becoming a new habit, that you repeat everything I say as a question?"

Remus just shook his head and stared at his brother for another moment, then he bent over and wrapped his arms around Janus.

"Congratulations! Wow, that comes as a surprise. I didn't even know that the two of you had been planning another child."

He withdrew, and Janus scratched his head.

"Well, actually we weren't really planning it as such. Not yet. It just happened, but it's…I'm over the moon, excited, happy, whatever you want to call it. It's perfect."

"When is the baby due?"

"End of May, the doctor said. Serena dragged me there yesterday, though she knows quite well how much I feel out of place there. But everything is fine so far, that's the main thing."

"Does Dad know?"

Janus leaned back and folded his hands behind his head.

"Told him this afternoon and I already thought he was about to break my ribs, so hard was he hugging me. Now the only one who doesn't know anything is Harry. I wanted to leave that for you. You're good at explaining things to him, you know?"

Remus rolled his eyes.

"If he'll ask again where the babies come from, I'll buy him a book this time. I won't go through telling him all that again."

"I don't think he'll ever forget your last attempt at informing him about the facts of life. Neither will I, come to think of it. Seeing you beet-red and embarrassed was very enjoyable indeed, I wish I had had a camera at hand then."

"It didn't help any that you were laughing your head off while I was going through the most embarrassing moments of my life."

"Sorry, but it was just too funny. But I think Harry understood what you wanted to tell him."

Remus sighed deeply.

"I really hope so. Right, then let's floo over to your place and save your wife from Harry's kitchen rage."

The two brothers got up and went over towards the fireplace. Before Janus climbed into the flames, Remus stopped him once more.

"Boy or girl?"

Janus shrugged. "Serena didn't want to know. But I have a feeling that it's going to be a boy this time."

With that, he flooed away and didn't see the grin on Remus' face. Janus had thought Julia would become a boy until the moment he'd been first handed her in the delivery room and the midwife had told him in no uncertain terms that it was quite obvious that he had a daughter and not a son. So Janus' feelings on that matter might not be all that trustworthy. He'd ask Serena about it at the next given possibility.

As he stepped into the flames, Remus shook all the unpleasant days about Lucius Malfoy, Death Eaters, the events in the Riddle House and even his doubts and worries about Sirius off of him. Just for tonight, he was going to think about nothing but the upcoming dinner with his family. He thought he had earned it, just for once.


	24. Patchwork

**Patchwork**

Christmas passed, and so did the beginning of the new Year. Before Remus knew what was happening, his birthday had passed and it was the first week of March. Though one might not have guessed it from the weather outside. Quite unusually for this season, the ground was still frozen and partially covered in snow. Spring was still a bit away, as it seemed.

It was early afternoon, and Remus was standing in the kitchen preparing tea. Today was the big day, he thought with a smile. Today Sirius would come and visit them for the first time. Would meet Harry for the first time. He had been released from St. Mungo's at the end of January, after nearly five months of 'i_mprisonment_' there. Not surprisingly, imprisonment had been the term Sirius had used to describe his stay at the hospital. Remus had visited at most weekends, whenever his work and Harry's schedules had allowed it. Remus still didn't know exactly what to think about their relationship after that time. They had talked a lot, about the good times back at school as well as about Remus' life with Harry. Sometimes, those conversations had become awkward when they had touched sore topics. It had been awkward a number of times, but by now they were moving on a comfortable middle-ground. Comfortable enough for Sirius to come and visit Harry, that at least had been Remus' idea. Unfortunately, after Sirius 'imprisonment' in St. Mungo's another stretch of custody had followed.

Remus had nearly forgotten about it over the weeks, but no matter how much he had learned to see Sirius as his old friend again, officially Sirius was still an escaped Ministry prisoner. And not even Dumbledore could prevent that a Ministry escort fetched Sirius from the hospital and transported him to the Ministry immediately. Sirius had been absolutely horrified that they would send him back to Azkaban, more than once he had told Remus that he would never and under no circumstances return there. Remus had been scared that his friend would resort to drastic means to evade being returned to Azkaban. Fortunately, he had 'only' been brought to a Ministry facility in London to prepare for his upcoming trial. Remus had not been able to visit him there, he had had to rely on Dumbledore's reassurances that Sirius was treated well and was doing as fine as could be expected in his situation.

Minister Fudge had done his best to keep the public information about the trial as limited as possible. Understandably, he had not wanted the possible revelation of how Sirius had been imprisoned and sent to Azkaban without a trial to become public all over the wizarding world.

The trial as such had been a long-winded and very exhausting procedure that had stretched for nearly three weeks. Remus had gone there as often as he could, he had wanted to show his support for Sirius, and from what he had seen Sirius had been in dire need of emotional support. Despite Dumbledore's reassurances that Sirius was fine, he had looked all too pale to Remus, weak and shaky, and he seemed to have lost again some of the few pounds he had gathered during his time in St. Mungo's. The first day of Sirius' testimony, the session had had to be interrupted for over two hours because Sirius' body hadn't been able to handle the amount of Veritaserum he had been given. From what Dumbledore had told Remus later, Sirius had puked his guts out as soon as he had been brought out of the courtroom and it had taken him over an hour to be able to stand on his own feet again.

It had been hard for Remus to sit in the audience and watch Sirius being questioned for two days about every horrible detail of the events of Halloween 1981. Sometimes, Sirius had not been able to grasp a particular memory, sometimes he had not even been able to answer a question despite the Veritaserum. Whenever that happened, Sirius had gotten extremely agitated, trying to force himself to remember, but to no avail. Sirius had been frustrated each and every time he could not remember something, and Remus had not dared to think what kind of impression the judges would have upon hearing his testimony. Would they believe him, despite all the holes in his memory, despite the fact that one time he had all but yelled at a judge to leave him some time to remember it all when he had been ushered to answer the question? The remaining days of he trial had been filled with countless testimonies of other witnesses, Sirius' healers amongst them, who explained in detail what had been done to Sirius' mind after he escaped from Azkaban, what he had done of his own free will and what he had probably been forced to do.

And suddenly it had been over. Remus had been extremely worried that Sirius' mental condition would make the judges not believe in his testimony, Veritaserum or not. And he knew that if they found him guilty and sent him back to Azkaban, it would break Sirius.

But they had not sent him back to Azkaban.

They had judged Sirius innocent, had granted him compensations for his wrongful imprisonment, and had set him free into a world of which he had not been part for six years.

Had it not been for Harry, Remus would have taken Sirius in immediately, but as he didn't know how Harry would react to having a complete stranger in the house that had not been a possibility. Sirius had refused to ever enter his family's house at Grimmauld Place again, but with the compensation from the Ministry and his heritage to which he now finally had free access, money was not a problem for him at the moment. He had rented a flat in London, a place where there were enough muggles and tourists for him to remain mostly anonymous. His innocence had been in the papers, but still people were staring at him whenever they recognized him. Sirius didn't like that, something Remus could sympathize with only too well.

Now he was taking time to get used to normal life again, he was making plans for how his life would go on from here. He didn't need to go working for the foreseeable future, but Remus knew that without something to occupy him, Sirius would go up the walls soon. But that was the future, they could think about that when the appropriate time came. Right now, getting Sirius settled back into normal life was important, not what lay a year or so in the future.

And for today, Sirius' first meeting with Harry was on the agenda. Remus thought he had prepared both of them sufficiently, he only hoped it went well.

The doorbell rang at precisely three in the afternoon, and if Remus had not known it better, he'd say that it sounded more timid than usual. With a last quick look around to see whether he had forgotten anything, he went into the hall. Quickly, he wiped his hands on a tea-towel and opened up the door. On the front step, a very nervous-looking Sirius was standing. He gave Remus a quick, half-honest, half-suffering grin as his friend motioned him through into the hall.

"Hello, Remus."  
"Hello Sirius. How are you feeling?"

Sirius shrugged and stepped inside. He undid the fastenings of his cloak and had just opened his mouth to answer something when his eyes fell onto the small cloak on the wardrobe where he had just wanted to put his own cloak. By now, he had had enough time to get used to seeing Harry on pictures, at least that was Remus' conclusion. Remus had brought many pictures of Harry to the hospital over the past weeks, and he had told Sirius a lot about Harry. Sirius had always seemed extremely interested in how the child was doing, and Remus had had the impression that Sirius didn't automatically think about James, Lily and the tragedy six years ago anymore when Harry's name was mentioned. Tears no longer immediately shot into his eyes whenever he saw a photograph, and talking about Harry also was far easier than it had been in the beginning. But obviously seeing real traces of Harry's presence here in the house seemed to be a bit much for him at the moment. Remus gave him a minute, and as Sirius then still didn't make a move to hang up his cloak he gently took the cloak out of Sirius' hands and hung it up for him. After that, he led their way into the living room.

"Harry is in the back-garden with Janus, it'll take another moment until they come in. I thought it might be better if you saw him first and could prepare yourself for meeting him. Just a moment."

He quickly hurried into the kitchen again to fetch the tea he had prepared. When he came back, Sirius was still standing a bit helplessly next to the fireplace, waiting patiently for him to return. Those were the small things that were not all right again yet. Back in the old days, Sirius would never have waited for a formal invitation to sit down. Most probably, he would have flung himself on the sofa, boots and all, and would have asked with an impish grin if there was any butterbeer in the house. But Sirius had changed, Remus had to realize for the umpteenth time since he had first visited him in November. He put the teapot down on the table and gestured towards the sofa.

"Why don't you sit down, Sirius?"

Sirius nodded, sank down on the sofa, and gratefully accepted the cup Remus handed him with slightly shaking hands.

"What did you tell him?"

"What I told Harry about you? That you're an old friend of mine from school who is coming for a visit. I didn't tell him anything about where you've been for the past five years, or that you were there when he got kidnapped. He's barely over it now as it is, I don't think it would be wise if he learned the whole truth before he gets to know you."

"Thank you", Sirius breathed out, but Remus waved him off. He still felt guilty towards his school time friend, though this feeling had lessened more and more over the past months. But until now Remus' aim had been to help Sirius recover from what had been done to him, to give him any possible help in starting to lead a normal life again. They had talked a lot, of course, but so far no sore topic had really been discussed between them. That would come in time, and Remus felt ready to deal with it as soon as it came up. But today their task would be to introduce Harry to Sirius. And the other way around. Remus couldn't help but feel a bit nervous about it, though he guessed that his nerves were still very well-composed compared to Sirius'.

And indeed, Sirius did not seem able to sit still, he fidgeted uncomfortably and constantly picked up his tea-cup, only to set it down again.

"Nervous?", Remus asked. Sirius nodded.

"Never been that nervous before, never in my entire life."

He got up from his position on the sofa and went over towards the mantle, looking at the pictures above the fireplace. Remus smiled.

"It'll be fine. He's a tad bit shy around strangers ever since he got kidnapped, but when I told him that an old friend would visit today, he was okay with it."

Sirius only nodded, for the moment left speechless by the onslaught of images that greeted him in the living room once he took a closer look. Remus had brought him pictures from Harry to the hospital, pictures from every age since the child had come to live with him, but still that was nothing compared to all the pictures that hung in the living room or stood on the mantelpiece. Remus had never before realized just how many pictures of Harry were hanging in his living room.

The real-life Harry was playing in the garden with Janus, clearly visible through the large window behind the sofa, but for the moment Sirius didn't seem to notice. Instead, he looked at all the pictures in the room and for a long moment stood in front of one of Harry's drawings. Remus stepped beside him and looked over his shoulder.

The drawing was half a year old, Harry had done it after his birthday party when he had received his first broom. In the way small children doodle, Harry had painted a house on the right hand side of the picture, a house which was far too small in proportion compared to the figures that were standing next to it. Four big figures and a small one, all labelled in Harry's childish writing. 'Remus' was standing next to 'Harry' with his stick-like arm on Harry's shoulder, next to Harry there was something that was barely recognizable as a broom, and the other three figures on the picture were labelled 'Grandpa', 'Uncle Janus' and 'Aunt Serena'. Like most children's paintings it looked as if a box of crayons had exploded, but still Remus liked the picture a lot. After the kidnapping, Harry's pictures had not been as colourful and bright anymore for a long while, this picture was a good reminder of how it had been before the nightmares.

Slowly, Sirius turned around.

"'_Uncle_ Janus'? Now that's something you've withheld from me so far. When did that happen?"

Remus smiled. "You'd be surprised. It's still a mystery to me, but Harry adores him. And where Harry is concerned, Janus is reduced to being a big softie. It's scary sometimes, I can tell you."

They both turned towards the window and looked out, Sirius with an extremely nervous expression on his face. Harry and Janus were out in the back garden, Harry's broom lying discarded on the ground. Obviously, they were playing catch, and Janus was quite busy making a fool out of himself by trying to look as if he was too slow to catch the seven year old. Harry's face was flushed from running in the cold air and he was laughing so loud that the sound carried into the living room. With a smile on his face, Remus crossed his arms in front of his chest and watched his brother and godson. On Sirius' face was a look of pure fascination as he watched Harry – the child he had believed to be dead for over five years, or rather, the child he thought he had believed to be dead for over five years – play happily only metres away from him.

After maybe five minutes Janus looked up and towards the window. He saw Remus and Sirius standing there and nodded into their direction. When Harry caught up with him the next time he playfully caught him, whirled him around in the air once or twice, then put him back down and said something into his ear. Harry listened, then he nodded enthusiastically. The two started towards the back door and Remus led Sirius over towards the sofa again.

"They're coming in now?"

Remus had to hide a smile at the panicked sound of Sirius' voice and pushed him down into an armchair.

"He won't bite you. Don't ask Janus though, he's got horrible stories about toddlers biting adults who then die from blood-poisoning, but that's something else. And Harry is not a toddler anymore. Anyway, it'll be all right, believe me."

Sirius didn't look all that convinced, but at that moment the back door opened and Janus came in with Harry, and Sirius didn't have any more time to panic. Harry was still flushed from running around outside, and his boots and pants were muddy with large chunks of snow and ice clinging to them.

"Remus, do you know what Uncle Janus just told me?"

With a huge smile on his face Harry started for Remus, but Remus quickly held up his hand to stop him.

"How about you pull out those boots first, before you carry the snow and mud all around the house?"

Harry pulled a face and quickly pulled off his boots, throwing them towards the back door where they landed with an audible 'thud'. Remus flinched at the sound and shook his head. That kid was responsible for all the grey hairs he already had, he was convinced of it. Harry wanted to storm over immediately, but then his eyes fell on Sirius and he hesitated, the smile vanishing a bit from his face. Janus stepped behind him and put his hands on Harry's shoulders while Remus tried to smile reassuringly at him.

"Harry, I want you to meet somebody." He patted on the spot next to himself on the sofa and hesitantly Harry sat down, his eyes never leaving Sirius' face and his hand reaching for Remus' hand in search of reassurance. Remus squeezed Harry's cold hand once and spoke again.  
"Remember that I told you about the friend of mine who would visit today? Harry, this is Sirius. He went to school with your Dad and me, he's an old friend. Sirius, this is Harry."

Remus saw the tears well up in Sirius' eyes and was not all that sure what to do. But then the Harry saved him from reacting in any way. He cocked his head to the side and seemed to think for a moment.

"I know you."

Sirius frowned. "You do?"

Harry nodded enthusiastically, eager to show how good his memory was. "Yes, I do. Remus showed me pictures, from when he was at school. And you were in a picture."

Remus was surprised. He had shown Harry pictures of his time at school, but that must have been at least two years ago. And he could not have told him much about Sirius, not while he had still been thinking that Sirius had betrayed them all. Remus had wanted to show Harry some pictures the day before, when he had told the child that Sirius would visit. But he had not found the albums from his time at Hogwarts immediately, so he had given up. They had to be somewhere in the attic, but he had not had the nerve for a lengthy search. Harry tore him out of his musings again as he continued to speak.

"There was a picture from when my Dad won the Quidditch cup, and you were in it. But your hair was short then."

Instinctively, Sirius moved a hand to his shoulder-length hair, not really knowing how to react. Remus could understand him, from all he knew Sirius had not been often around children of Harry's age, and the years in Azkaban surely had done nothing to improve his social skills. He had interacted naturally with Harry as a baby, but now it seemed more difficult. Harry again spared him the effort to think of something because he spoke again.  
"It looked better when it was short. I like short better."

That brought a smile onto Sirius' face and he laughed his bark-like laugh. Remus didn't even remember how long it had been since he had last heard Sirius laugh.

"I had already thought about cutting it again myself."

Again Harry nodded. "Short is better", he repeated with deep conviction in his voice. Then, seemingly content that this part of the conversation was over, he turned to face Remus again.

"Uncle Janus told me that he brought ice-cream for us! Strawberry and chocolate ice-cream!" He climbed off the sofa and reached for Remus' hand, enthusiastically tugging it in an attempt to pull him up and into the kitchen. "Can we eat the ice-cream now? Please, Remus."

"I'd say you go upstairs and change your clothes first. And once you've washed up and are wearing clean clothes we can talk about that ice-cream, all right?"

With an audible sigh Harry let go off Remus' hand and left the room, stomping a bit too loudly as he went. Remus smiled and shook his head. Lately, Harry had developed a liking for dramatic exits whenever he didn't get his will. As soon as the child had left the room Remus turned towards his brother.

"It's the beginning of March, still nearly frozen outside, and you bring _ice-cream_ for Harry?"

Janus shrugged and folded his tall frame into an armchair with a grin on his face. "Not my kid, not my worries about spoiling. That'd be your cup of tea then."

"I'll remember that the next time _you_ need a baby-sitter."

Janus wanted to say something in response but Remus waved him off and turned towards Sirius again.

"Seems as if Harry's only problem about you is your hairstyle."

Sirius laughed again.

"Right, it could definitely have gotten worse."

"Yeah, somebody could have told him that you used to play extremely mean pranks on his favourite uncle when you were younger. I bet Harry would not have liked you much if he had known about that."

"Are you trying to blackmail Sirius, Janus?"

Janus shrugged. "Just keeping all my options open, nothing more. I remember those howlers, you know?"

His voice was playful, taunting even, but Remus knew Janus was not feeling all that light-hearted at the moment. Janus and Sirius had never held any warm feelings for each other, and that had not changed one bit. Over the past months, Remus had realized more than once that Janus had absolutely no desire to have Sirius become a part of his private life in any way. He accepted that Remus wanted that contact with his friend, but he had made it perfectly clear that he was evading any confrontation for Remus' and Harry's sake alone. If Sirius at one point fell back to his old behaviour of taunting Janus until he snapped, Janus would snap. No matter what Remus thought about it. So he was watching the exchange between his brother and his friend warily. A sly grin spread around the corners of Sirius' mouth.

"Ah, the howlers. Yes, I remember them as well. Kept me pretty occupied during my summer holidays back then."

"I wouldn't advise a repeated performance."

Janus' voice was low and tight, but Sirius only grinned wider.

"Oh, give me some credit here. If anything, I'd think of a way to top those howlers."

Before Janus could respond anything to that, Harry's steps sounded on the stairs and a moment later he appeared in the doorframe, hopping excitedly from one foot to the other.

"All right, I've got clean clothes on, I've washed my hands and I've even combed my hair. Can we eat the ice-cream now? Please!"

He stepped over and grabbed Janus' wrist with both hands, trying to pull his uncle up. Janus pulled back, and with little force he managed to pull Harry over the arm-lean of his armchair and across his lap. Harry squealed loudly, a sound which immediately turned into laughter as Janus tickled Harry's sides.

"Not so impatient, young man. You'll get your ice-cream soon enough."

And he grabbed Harry around the waist and carried him into the kitchen, sat him down on the counter and opened up the refrigerator. Remus watched them, but turned his head when Sirius spoke again.

"Your brother might be a prick, but Harry really seems to adore him."

Remus nodded.

"Yes, he does. He loves Janus, and Janus would do pretty much anything for him. So I wouldn't advise you to get into a fight with Janus and have Harry witness it, otherwise you won't have much credit left with him."

Sirius shook his head.

"I haven't planned that. It's just difficult for me to imagine Harry having such a close relationship with your brother."

"It's his family, that's what he grew up into."

Sirius thought for a long moment, his eyes distant.

"There'll be no getting in between for me, will there?"

"No. Not in between. I don't know if you'll ever be for Harry what James intended you to become when he named you his godfather. And at the moment you're probably nothing more than a friend of mine in whom Harry has absolutely no interest. Give it some time, let him get used to having you around. You'll be surprised how quickly he'll involve you in his daily life. And pretty soon he'll order you around just as much as he does with us."

Sirius slowly nodded.

"Give it some time", Remus repeated. "He doesn't trust easily, but once he cares, he cares deeply. And now let's go look after them before that brother of mine allows Harry to eat all the ice-cream without us."

They got up and went over into the kitchen, Sirius still with some hesitancy in his steps. In time, Remus thought. If they just gave it enough time, things would work out, he was convinced of that.


	25. Epilogue

It's done!

sigh

Thanks to all of you for putting up with me for so long! One and a half years are a long time, and I know that sometimes I tested your patience to the limit with my irregular updates. All the more I'm glad that so many stuck with the story to the end, I'm a bit sad to see it finished (though I'm also very, very, VERY relieved that it's done).

Anyway, here's a short epilogue with some of how the story goes on. There won't be a sequel to it, at least nothing that is planned. I've written some scenes for my own amusement, but I don't plan on re-writing Harry's school years.

More about how and when a new story of mine might pop up (and a little preview for it) at the end of the chapter.

So once again Thank You, all of you.

Enjoy!

**Epilogue**

Remus' steps grew more and more hesitant as he and Harry walked through King's Cross Station. Remus pushed the trolley with Harry's trunk and owl cage in front of him and watched with a slight smile as Harry excitedly hopped along next to him. Right now he was glad that Sirius had won that particular argument and had come along to bring Harry to the train, because Remus was sorely tempted to apparate Harry back home and lock him up in the house for the rest of his life. Not because he wanted to punish him, but because he didn't want to let him go. Sirius was walking a couple of steps behind them, and had Remus seen his face he'd have realized that his old friend was watching him attentively.

Sirius' recovery had been remarkable. Truly, it had been more than four years now since his escape from Azkaban, but judged from how worried the mind-healers had been about Sirius ever recovering completely, his progress had truly been surprising. It had taken some time until he had gotten accustomed to real life again, though. Every-day occurrences which were normal for most people had become near-impossible obstacles in his way, and even simple things like going to Gringott's or a simple shopping trip had never gone easy. Especially not since Sirius was recognized practically everywhere, particularly shortly after his trial. But the interest had receded gradually, eventually allowing Sirius to lead something akin to a normal life. He still had weekly sessions with a mind-healer, though nowadays their purpose was no longer trying to restore Sirius' memory. Rather, during those sessions Sirius was working through his Azkaban experience which still was weighing heavily on him. He could probably never forget what he had experienced during his five years of imprisonment, but those sessions helped him to deal with the memories and the nightmares which still plagued him from time to time. Sirius didn't talk often about either the nightmares or the sessions with the mind-healer, but Remus knew that when the memories came, they still bothered him greatly.

The damage which the Memory Charms and the longer stretch of time during which he had been under Imperious had done to Sirius was as undone as it could be. There had never been the chance for a complete recovery, but thanks to long and strenuous sessions at St. Mungo's, Sirius was now at least aware of the few blind spots that had remained in his mind.

He had become a bit quirky, though. On occasion, it happened that Sirius got lost in his thoughts all of a sudden. Not often or regularly, but still often enough to be noticeable. It could happen anytime and anywhere, be it at home while preparing dinner, while playing chess with Harry or while he was shopping in the supermarket. Nobody really knew what triggered it, but it could happen that Sirius thought of something and got so lost in his thoughts that he didn't realize what was going on around him anymore. The first time Remus had witnessed this, he had been rather shocked about it, but over the past years he had gotten used to the possibility that Sirius might abruptly space out for a couple of minutes. It was over within a few minutes mostly, and the healers had said that it was nothing to worry about, so Remus forced himself not to worry about it too much. As long as it didn't happen while Sirius was on a broom or driving that blasted motorbike of his Remus could remain calm about it. Strangely, those never seemed to be occasions when he got lost in his thoughts.

And he had spent a lot of time on his broom. After all, he had argued, he had five years worth of Quidditch to catch up on. That meant flying as well as watching games whenever he could. It also had been Quidditch which had broken the ice between Sirius and Harry after their first meetings. Harry had found a lot more interest in his godfather's friend when he had found out that Sirius was just as much of a Quidditch fanatic as he himself was. And as Remus' interest in Quidditch was only half-hearted and he didn't enjoy talking about the sport as much as Sirius did, Harry and Sirius had grown closer through their common interest. And through that, Sirius had gradually become one of the important persons in Harry's life. Nowhere near as close to him as Remus or even Janus, but Sirius had become something like an adult friend for Harry, a friend with whom he could have fun and who hardly ever reprimanded him or forbid him anything.

And Sirius had helped to reveal the prankster potential in Harry. It had been a scary revelation, if Remus was honest with himself. Even before he had met Sirius, Harry had enjoyed the occasional prank or joke with his family, but Sirius had taken that to an entirely new level. More than once they had left Janus, Richard or Serena speechless with what they had done, and Remus was sure that the number of his grey hairs had multiplied since the first time that somebody had put Zonko's Ten-Hour-Sticking-Glue onto the handle of his tea-cup. And as if that wasn't enough, that certain somebody had also put another little fun-potion into his tea which had turned his face a livid green. Remus still remembered the telling-off he had given his friend and godson that afternoon, but he had had to realize that his authority suffered quite a bit when his face was poisonous-green and he had a tea-cup sticking to his right hand. Harry and Sirius had had a hard time suppressing their laughter, that much he remembered. And that day had only been the start of it all. Harry and Sirius were quite the devious team. Harry had the ideas, Sirius knew how to take them to the limit and where to get the required ingredients. Remus gave a mental sigh. Somehow, he'd miss their scheming when Harry was at Hogwarts, and he was sure Sirius would as well.

Maybe his current position in Harry's life was not what James had had in mind for Sirius by naming him godfather, but it was as good as they could get after everything that happened. Harry liked Sirius, he spent time with him and never protested when Remus left him with Sirius for a day or over night. He trusted Sirius implicitly. Remus didn't want that to change, but both Sirius and Remus knew that one day they'd have to tell Harry about Sirius' involvement in his kidnapping. They didn't know when the right time for that would be, and they didn't know how Harry would react to that revelation. They'd cross that bridge when they came to it.

Remus had been so lost in his thoughts that he hardly realized how they had arrived at the barrier between Platform nine and ten. Harry stopped and looked expectantly at his guardians.

"And we'll just walk through? Nothing more?"

Remus must have explained him a thousand times how to get to Platform 9 ¾, but now that they were finally there Harry seemed to think that his godfather had made fun of him. He frowned his nose, the old habit he had never quite outgrown, and waited for Remus' answer. Remus could not help but smile.

"Yes, we'll just walk through, nothing more. Sirius, why don't you together with Harry and I go after you with the trolley?"  
Sirius tore his gaze away from the young woman he had watched entering the express train to Liverpool and nodded at Remus.

"Sure. Alright kid, it's best if you take the barrier running for the first time."  
Sirius reached for Harry's hand but the boy immediately took a step back.

"If you expect me to try running through a solid wall, then you're completely nuts. I might fall for most of your pranks, but I'm not stupid."

Remus snickered and ignored the glare Sirius shot him. That was the boy he had raised, never believe anything unless you've found proof that it's true. He was proud that Harry didn't blindly trust anything he was told, even if it came from Sirius and him. But if he didn't do anything now, they'd still be standing here in the evening.

"All right Harry, I'll go through first and you and Sirius follow. You'll see that it's not a solid wall."

Harry didn't look too convinced, but the last thing Remus saw when he leaned against the barrier and vanished right through it was his godson's jaw dropping a couple of inches. When Sirius and Harry followed through the barrier moments later, Harry a bit flushed from running, there was a huge grin on his godson's face.

"That's brilliant! Can I have something like that at home, at the door to my room?"

"I can imagine that you would like to have something like this to hide this chaotic mess you call your room behind. I don't really think I can allow you to have your door charmed into looking like a wall, though. I know exactly that Sirius and you would only use it to open up a secret pranking headquarter in your room. For now I think we should try to find you a place on the train, it's bound to leave soon."

Sirius and Remus brought Hedwig's cage into the luggage compartment and carried Harry's trunk along the train. Hundreds of students with their parents were standing around on the platform or moving in and out of the train, most of which didn't pay Harry and his guardians any attention at all. Once or twice somebody whispered _'Isn't that Harry Potter?_', but Harry moved along quickly towards the end of the train. The second to last wagon seemed to be still quite empty, and Sirius hoisted Harry's trunk into the wagon from where the boy could more easily drag it into his compartment later on. When he left the train again, he quickly gave Harry a hug and grinned mischievously when he released him.

"Okay kid, have fun at Hogwarts. Try not to get too many detentions, your father and I worked hard on our record, we'd like to keep it for a little while longer. And if you need to know any secret passages or ways to get rid of Peeves, just send me an owl. I'll miss you, Harry."

"I'll miss you too, Sirius." Harry hugged him again around the waist and then turned to Remus. Sirius nodded at his friend.  
"I'll wait for you in the station. Maybe that muggle train with that nice looking young woman hasn't left yet."  
He waved Harry good bye and set off towards the exit, Remus' grateful smile in his back. Remus knew only too well that Sirius had not gone solely because of that muggle woman, but to leave Remus some private space to say good bye to Harry. Sirius and Harry had grown closer during the past four years, but their relationship still was nothing compared to the one Remus shared with Harry.

Taking a deep breath, Remus turned towards Harry. He absolutely didn't want to say goodbye to his godson right now. Yesterday, when Harry had said goodbye to Richard, Janus and his family Remus had already felt slightly sick. The only funny thing had been Janus' desperate attempts to explain his oldest daughter Julia why she could not go to Hogwarts as well just yet. And Remus knew from experience that five year old children were not exactly open for reasonable explanations. Things had not gotten better when Janus' younger daughter Hannah had joined into her older sister's wailing. In the end Janus had carried both of them upstairs so that he could have at least a little peace to say goodbye to Harry.

And when Richard and Janus had finally said goodbye to Harry, Remus had suddenly had a really large lump in his throat as he thought about the next day. He didn't want to let Harry go just now, he was only eleven years old! Why couldn't the child just stay with him for another year or so? Oh, who was he fooling, he didn't want to let Harry go at all. But he had to, he knew.

He placed his hands on Harry's shoulders and squeezed them gently.

"Okay pup, that's it I guess."

Harry grimaced a bit at being called 'pup' in public, something he felt far too old for by now with his eleven years. Remus crouched down a bit so that he was at eye level with Harry and took him in a tight long hug.

"Be good, have fun, and whatever Sirius told you, don't do it. Don't get yourself into too much trouble, and try to make some new friends. An owl from time to time would be nice, too. If there's anything wrong, just let me know. I'll miss you, Harry. The house will be far too silent without you."

Harry looked as if he was about to be sick any moment.

"I don't want to go."

For a fleeting moment Remus was tempted to tell him that he didn't need to go and take Harry back home with him, but he resisted. He knew that Harry wanted to go to Hogwarts, he had been excited about it for weeks, ever since his Hogwarts letter had arrived.

He hugged Harry again. "Yes, you want to go. Harry, those will be the seven best years of your life, believe me. And you will be surprised how quickly it'll be Christmas and you'll be home again."

Harry shook his head. "It'll be boring. Eric and David won't be there. And you and Uncle Janus and Grandpa, Sirius, all of you will be so far away."

"You'll make new friends before you know it, and Eric and David will be there next year. You can write to all of us every day, and you'll get used to Hogwarts quickly. It's me you should be worried about, pup. What shall I do now that you're gone? My life will be boring."

Harry grinned.

"You still have Sirius to take care of."  
An eye-roll was all he got for an answer.

"Oh yes, I forgot about that, I have another kid to look after." He ruffled Harry's hair affectionately, messing it up even more, then gave him a kiss on the forehead. "I love you, pup. Take care."

"Love you too, Remus. And I will."  
"I know you will. Bye."

"Bye, Remus."

Harry jumped onto the train just as the conductor blew the whistle and a minute later the train stated to move out of the station. Harry was waving from his compartment window until the Hogwarts Express drove around a corner and was out of sight.

Remus sighed deeply and kept on staring at the spot where his godson had vanished for some minutes longer. Harry was on his way to Hogwarts now, and it definitely would take some time to get used to that.

**The End**

All right, that was "Hunting The Traitor". I'm a bit sad to let it go, but it's not as if I had nothing left up my sleeve. Though there are some good news and some bad news.

The bad news first:

It'll take some time until you'll find the next post from me here. If there is anything HTT has taught me, then that it's never wise to publish a fic before it's entirely finished. I want to spare myself the struggle with my next project, so I'll only start posting it when it's finished. I can't tell you exactly how long that's going to take, though. So either check my profile from time to time, put me on your author alert, or simply join my yahoo-group. That's where you'll definitely get to know about any progress or delay. The address is on my profile page.

Time for the good news:

I'm working on a new fic idea. It's going to be a trilogy, and the first fic is already in good progress.

A tiny little glimpse? Here you go:

**_Making History (1) – The Fate of One_**

_In the aftermath of Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts, everybody tries in their own way to deal with what has happened. But there is not much time for processing and self-reflection. The war has started, and the Order finds itself faced with the impossible task of stopping Voldemort before it's too late. There is no time for personal problems to interfere with the fate of the wizarding world. Yet personal problems never ask whether it is the right time for them to appear or not. Something from out of Remus' past suddenly surfaces, and Remus is not ready to deal with it in any way. His life is at stake, and there is nothing that can be done to save him – except from one very dangerous thing. And the only person who could save Remus' life is a person who does not want to awaken the ghosts of his own past – Severus Snape._

_Now Harry has his own reasons to interfere with Remus' business, and though he only wants to do good, he increases the danger for everybody involved. What he foolishly sets in motion has to be finished. Only, nobody can say what prize will have to be paid for it. The only place where all the questions will be answered is the last place Harry ever wanted to see again – the Death Chamber in the Department of Mysteries. Yet that is exactly where he has to go to save the life of a person he holds dearly. Or where he might lose another one he cares for._

The second and third fic of the Making History Trilogy will be set in Harry's sixth respectively seventh year at Hogwarts.

Canon, for a change. I needed to get out of the AU-world after HTT.

It might take another two or three months until I've got it finished so far that I can publish it, after all I need to work out the whole trilogy to a certain degree until I can post the first fic. I hope to hear from all of you once I start posting. If you want to contact me or write a review for which you'd like to have an answer, best send me an e-mail or post it in my yahoo-group, I'll definitely check there more often than I'll check my profile.

Until then, I hope you all enjoyed Hunting The Traitor! See you in a couple of weeks!


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